Or: The Zodiac ... Is Whack.

I'm tired of vague newspaper horoscopes. I've cracked open my last fortune cookie only to discover the following: "Your friends find you sagacious but only the boll weevil laments the valise that is life."

Um, hello? Tell me something I don't know.

Nope, the old system is not working for me anymore. I have, therefore, as a public service and with no thought to personal gain (note to self: install PayPal button with next post) devised a new, modern and, dare I say, kick-ass zodiac system guaranteed to put a spring in your Crocs and a snap in your cosmic trunks.

It's a simple system based on birth month, and I like to call it: The Karm-O-Matic.

Januarian

Special Animal: Ocelot

Dominant Furniture Item: End Table

Vibrational Cheese: Muenster

Overview: Those born in January are known for their shiny, manageable hair, the attractiveness of which might (or might not) be enhanced by oversized canine teeth. Born under what is often called the "Sign of the Fajita," Januarians have innate pan-frying skills, which they often call upon if cornered in the wild. Those born under this sign are fiercely protective of their young, although they do seem to dress them funny.

Februarian

Special Animal: Lemur

Dominant Furniture Item: Murphy Bed

Vibrational Cheese: Asiago

Overview: Those born under this sign have an unnatural knack for recalling hockey stats, an ability that is greatly amplified by shaping the hair into an organic data receptacle, also known as a "mullet." An intensely creative people, Februarians are known for their explosive clog dances and fiercely woven tote bags. Under no circumstances should a Februarian become involved with a Junite. (No, I can't tell you why. It's is one of several Untalkedabout Things in the Karm-O-Matic System.)

Der Marcher

Special Animal: Stuffed Bear

Dominant Furniture Item: Clothes Hamper

Vibrational Cheese: Alpine Lace

Overview: Ah, the Marchers. You know them, of course, as fruit leather artisans to the world, but did you also know they were pioneers in applying tuberous flowers to Rose Parade floats? Well, there you go. Although generally mild-mannered, those born under the Marcher banner are also really good at flicking things with a spork if annoyed, so, you know, heads up on that.

Aprilite

Special Animal: Birdie

Dominant Furniture Item: Davenport (No, really, you can look it up.)

Vibrational Cheese: Gouda

Overview: Those born under the "Sign of the Charcoal Insole" are known for their fastidiousness ... with one exception: they never, EVER, empty their car ashtrays. Landlords love Aprilites because they never stick thumbtacks in their apartment walls, but instead use those little blobs of goo to hold their posters. 23% of Aprilites possess an overwhelming and unfounded fear of inflatable rafts.

Mayan Maynard

Special Animal: Duck

Dominant Furniture Item: Ottoman

Vibrational Cheese: Aerosol Bacon Cheddar

Overview: Don't ever make fun of a Mayjor's hat. That goes double for the Members Only jacket. That's really all you need to know.

Junite

Special Animal: Armadillo

Dominant Furniture Item: Umbrella Stand

Vibrational Cheese: Cottage

Overview: Junites are affable folks who love nothing more than to rent a movie from Blockbuster, bury it in their backyard and then sit around and talk about what it might have been like to watch it. They never cut in line and the only thing that gets under their skin is when someone pronounces "et cetera" as "ECK cetera." Unfortunately, entire suburbs have been wiped out as a result of this sensitivity.

Julysaurus

Special Animal: Platypus

Dominant Furniture Item: TV Tray

Vibrational Cheese: Camembert

Overview: Known as the healers of the Karm-O-Matic System, Julysauruses are highly empathic, often describing others' feeling before said others are even aware of them. (Yes, it can be annoying.) A highly fragrant group, their soft, calming patchouli scent often lingers after they depart, in stark contrast to the acrid bite of smoking rubber from the patches their Corvettes laid on your driveway.

Augustonian

Special Animal: Gator

Dominant Furniture Item: Shelf

Vibrational Cheese: Mozzarella

Overview: Almost all middle-school principals are Augustonians. No one knows why, and we're all too scared to ask. Many people also hold those born under this sign responsible for the recent and ill-advised "jeggings" trend. I once saw an Augustonian recharge a cell-phone battery by pressing it to his forehead while doing a Robert Goulet impression. True story.

Septemberite

Special Animal: Cougar

Dominant Furniture Item: Hooked Rug

Vibrational Cheese: Limburger

Overview: Septemberites tend to be extremely organized and have been known to cross-reference their socks by wool content and country of origin. They are an easygoing group and make ideal mates for every sign in the Karm-O-Matic System. They also make mustard that is so hot it can burn your eyelashes off. Okay, not really, but that would be cool.

Octoberian

Special Animal: Flounder

Dominant Furniture Item: Coffee Table

Vibrational Cheese: Blue

Overview: Octoberians can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a -- wait, let me turn that dang radio off. Okay. Octoberians. As far as I know, there's only one, and she lives in a gated community outside of Seattle. Her neighbors say she keeps to herself, raises fighting voles and never takes off her crocheted hat. So there you have it.

Novemberite

Special Animal: Porpoise

Dominant Furniture Item: Bean Bag Chair

Vibrational Cheese: Brie

Overview: Some of our nation's most revered truckers are Novemberites. Fun fact: Those born under this sign never forget a joke, but they do occasionally forget to put on sweatpants before answering the door. Want to know the way to a Novemberite's heart? Offer him/her a brisk exfoliation. You're welcome.

Decemberonian

Special Animal: Owl

Dominant Furniture Item: Captain's Chair

Vibrational Cheese: Ricotta

Overview: You will never catch a Decemberonian wearing a belt and shoes that don't match. Exactly half of them like lobster. As a group, they are surprisingly non-hairy, although one of them (last seen in the Dallas vicinity) single-handedly makes up for that. A Decemberonian will always loan you a pencil, but for God's sakes, don't chew the eraser.

And remember:

When life gives you lemons, run 'em through the Karm-O-Matic!

Anna Lefler is a novelist and humorist who blogs at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder.

Keisha Kanekoa received the Ah Chew Goo award -- representing overall outstanding performance -- at the Hawaii women's basketball team banquet last night at the Ala Moana Hotel.

Or: The Zodiac...Is Whack.

That's it. I'm fed up with the old astrology system.

I'm tired of vague newspaper horoscopes. I've cracked open my last fortune cookie only to discover the following:

Um, hello? Tell me something I don't know.

Nope, the old system is not working for me anymore. I have, therefore, as a public service and with no thought to personal gain (note to self: install PayPal button with next post) devised a new, modern and, dare I say, kick-ass zodiac system guaranteed to put a spring in your Crocs and a snap in your cosmic trunks. It's a simple system based on birth month and I like to call it:

The Karm-O-Matic

Januarian

Special Animal: Ocelot

Dominant Furniture Item: End Table

Vibrational Cheese: Muenster

Overview: Those born in January are known for their shiny, manageable hair, the attractiveness of which might (or might not) be enhanced by oversized canine teeth. Born under what is often called the "Sign of the Fajita," Januarians have innate pan-frying skills, which they often call upon if cornered in the wild. Those born under this sign are fiercely protective of their young, although they do seem to dress them funny.

Februarian

Special Animal: Lemur

Dominant Furniture Item: Murphy Bed

Vibrational Cheese: Asiago

Overview: Those born under this sign have an unnatural knack for recalling hockey stats, an ability that is greatly amplified by shaping the hair into an organic data receptacle, also known as a "mullet." An intensely creative people, Februarians are known for their explosive clog dances and fiercely woven tote bags. Under no circumstances should a Februarian become involved with a Junite. (No, I can't tell you why. It's is one of several Untalkedabout Things in the Karm-O-Matic System. Der.)

Marcher

Special Animal: Stuffed Bear

Dominant Furniture Item: Clothes Hamper

Vibrational Cheese: Alpine Lace

Overview: Ah, the Marchers. You know them, of course, as fruit leather artisans to the world, but did you also know they were pioneers in applying tuberous flowers to Rose Parade floats? Well, there you go. Although generally mild-mannered, those born under the Marcher banner are also really good at flicking things with a spork if annoyed, so, you know, heads up on that.

Aprilite

Special Animal: Birdie

Dominant Furniture Item: Davenport (No, really, you can look it up.)

Vibrational Cheese: Gouda

Overview: Those born under the "Sign of the Charcoal Insole" are known for their fastidiousness...with one exception: they never, EVER, empty their car ashtrays. Landlords love Aprilites because they never stick thumbtacks in their apartment walls but instead use those little blobs of goo to hold their posters. 23% of Aprilites possess an overwhelming and unfounded fear of inflatable rafts.

Mayite Mayan Maynard Mayjor

Special Animal: Duck

Dominant Furniture Item: Ottoman

Vibrational Cheese: Aerosol Bacon Cheddar

Overview: Don't ever make fun of a Mayjor's hat. That goes double for the Members Only jacket. That's really all you need to know.

Junite

Special Animal: Armadillo

Dominant Furniture Item: Umbrella Stand

Vibrational Cheese: Cottage

Overview: Junites are affable folks who love nothing more than to rent a movie from Blockbuster, bury it in their backyard and then sit around and talk about what it might have been like to watch it. They never cut in line and the only thing that gets under their skin is when someone pronounces "et cetera" as "ECK cetera." Unfortunately, entire suburbs have been wiped out as a result of this sensitivity.

Julysaurus

Special Animal: Platypus

Dominant Furniture Item: TV Tray

Vibrational Cheese: Camembert

Overview: Known as the healers of the Karm-O-Matic System, Julysauruses are highly empathic, often describing others' feeling before said others are even aware of them. (Yes, it can be annoying.) A highly fragrant group, their soft, calming patchouli scent often lingers after they depart, in stark contrast to the acrid bite of smoking rubber from the patches their Corvettes laid on your driveway.

Augustonian

Special Animal: Gator

Dominant Furniture Item: Shelf

Vibrational Cheese: Mozzarella

Overview: Almost all middle-school principals are Augustonians. No one knows why and we're all too scared to ask. Many people also hold those born under this sign responsible for the recent and ill-advised "jeggings" trend. I once saw an Augustonian recharge a cell-phone battery by pressing it to his forehead while doing a Robert Goulet impression. True story.

Septemberite

Special Animal: Cougar

Dominant Furniture Item: Hooked Rug

Vibrational Cheese: Limburger

Overview: Septemberites tend to be extremely organized and have been known to cross-reference their socks by wool content and country of origin. They are an easygoing group and make ideal mates for every sign in the Karm-O-Matic System. They also make mustard that is so hot it can burn your eyelashes off. Okay, not really, but that would be cool.

Octoberian

Special Animal: Flounder

Dominant Furniture Item: Coffee Table

Vibrational Cheese: Blue

Overview: Octoberians can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a--wait, let me turn that dang radio off. Okay. Octoberians. As far as I know, there's only one and she lives in a gated community outside of Seattle. Her neighbors say she keeps to herself, raises fighting voles and never takes off her crocheted hat. So there you have it.

Novemberite

Special Animal: Porpoise

Dominant Furniture Item: Bean Bag Chair

Vibrational Cheese: Brie

Overview: Some of our nation's most revered truckers are Novemberites. Fun fact: those born under this sign never forget a joke but they do occasionally forget to put on sweatpants before answering the door. Want to know the way to a Novemberite's heart? Offer him/her a brisk exfoliation. You're welcome.

Decemberonian

Special Animal: Owl

Dominant Furniture Item: Captain's Chair

Vibrational Cheese: Ricotta

Overview: You will never catch a Decemberonian wearing a belt and shoes that don't match. Exactly half of them like lobster. As a group, they are surprisingly non-hairy, although one of them (last seen in the Dallas vicinity) single-handedly makes up for that. A Decemberonian will always loan you a pencil, but for God's sakes, don't chew the eraser.

Windows 7 early adopters, Google Buzz v Friendfeed, Hulu's successful failure, more Explorer patching, OSX updated (and secured), Amazon discounts and more

Photo by donp17 on Flickr. Some rights reserved

A quick burst of links for you to chew over, as picked by the Technology team. Want to send a link our way? Tag it with "guardiantech" on delicious.com and we'll take a look.

The Microsoft Bob Chronicles >> Technologizer
Hello, it looks like you're trying to write a really interesting three-page history of the user interface innovation that some analysts thought would make Apple software look complicated! Can I help?

Demand For Apple iPad May Be Higher Than Expected >> 24/7 Wall St.
"Apple may have to quickly cut prices the way that it did with the iPhone to keep consumer interest in the iPad high. That will hurt Apple's margins unless it can pass the costs of the price cuts on to its suppliers."

That suggests that the inability to understand fundamental economics that got Wall Street into such trouble also extends to sites which use it in their name. See "demand curve" on Wikipedia.

The Present and Future of HTML5 Video Experiences >> Brightcove Blog
Brightcove is going to do HTML5.. which opens it up to the iPad (and anyone else who really doesn't like Flash). Is it a sort of co-opetition for designers?

JooJoo Ships Tablet PC >> Information Week
"Fusion Garage says it is shipping the device formerly known as the Crunchpad ahead of Apple's iPad."

Windows 7 Early Adopters Were Satisfied Upgraders >> Forrester
Forrester's Consumer Technographics data shows an unusually large number of upgrades: it says 43% of Windows 7 adopters upgraded against 45% who purchased new PCs.

Google Buzz Getting Smoked In The Sharing Race By A Dead Man >> TechCrunch
"According to our data, in the past month, Google Buzz has been sending less traffic to TechCrunch than FriendFeed — the service which is essentially the same as Buzz, only better, and ever since the acquisition by Facebook has been a ghost town," says TechCrunch.

Hulu's a Towering Success -- Just Not Financially >> Advertising Age
"Hulu is the No. 2 video site on sheer volume of video views behind YouTube, yet no one is yet making much money from its model," says AdAge

Microsoft to patch IE zero-day with emergency fix Tuesday >> Computerworld
""The bulletin is being released to address attacks against customers of Internet Explorer 6 and Internet Explorer 7," said Microsoft in an updated advisory. As it did in January, Tuesday's out-of-band update will patch more than just the zero-day. It will, in fact, plug critical holes in every edition of IE, including the newest, IE8." It might - but only might - patch the "F1 key" vulnerability, where hackers could do a drive-by download if they could persuade you to press the F1 - help - key.

Mac OS X v10.6.3 Update >> Apple.com
Lots of "improving" and "resolving" what seem like minor issues. Except the Security Update that comes along with it includes 92 security fixes. Okayy..

Communication Silos >> Tim Bray
Recent Google-joiner Tim Bray: "In the two weeks I've been on board, I've found the Google internal Buzz to be immensely useful. With promiscuous abandon, I follow anyone who follows me or says anything interesting; exactly what I don't do on any of those other networks. It's not just educational, it's entertaining and heartwarming in its vintage engineering conversational flow: Alternating waves of optimism, cynicism, and laughter. "I suspect there's a useful place for one behind most firewalls." In other words: Buzz has a place. It just might not be out in the wild.

How to Hack Amazon for 75-99% Discount >> Tom Davenport
It's completely legal - it just takes you to a page showing where those discounts are available. Still, if calling it hacking makes you feel more l33t..

Why AT&T; should buy you a femtocell >> CNET News
Stephen Shankland applies the rather obvious (to most people) logic: femtocells mean more traffic for the mobile networks - and it doesn't have to travel over their networks. It's a no-brainer - unless you're in the marketing division of a mobile phone company.

Microsoft defends Windows 7 security after Pwn2Own hacks >> Computerworld
Reasonably, Microsoft points out that its security features can't protect everything. Then again, it only takes one hacker...

All the Candidates' Data >> YourNextMP
"if you want to download the candidates details as a CSV to use in a spreadsheet you can. Or if you want the full structured data of parties, constituencies, candidates and images you can get the JSON." Jump in and build the election

Apple Owners Nearly 40% More Interested in the iPad than Non-Apple Owners >> NPD
US-based market research company The NPD Group has a press release about those the ones with the most interest in buying an iPad.

You can follow Guardian Technology's linkbucket on delicious

Three short treatments of three notable events from this past week:

I had the honor of interviewing Susan Senator for BlogHer about her upcoming book The Autism Mom's Survival Guide. Here's an excerpt from what I wrote; you'll need to go to the interview to read Susan's own words of wisdom:

Did you know that autism parents can choose an identity other than Avenging Warrior or Martyr? That it is reasonable to aim for happy lives for us and our children, despite our kids' challenges? If this is news to you, then you need to read Susan Senator's forthcoming The Autism Mom's Survival Guide, A.S.A.P.

The Autism Mom's Survival Book is an important book, a desperately-needed book, a book that can help the next wave of autism parents sidestep the kind of post-diagnosis anxiety & depression that hit me in 2003 due to a lack of guidelines for my new Autism Mom identity.

Left Brain/Right Brain seemed to think the interview was useful. (Thanks!)

---

Autism parents and advocates throughout the Internet reeled after Niksmom tweeted her dismay over blogger SmockityFrocks stating outright what so many autism parents fear: that people assume our children are spoiled and ill-mannered before they consider any other explanation. Like, you know, autism. Liz Ditz, Emily, and StorkDok have all written blog responses as SmockityFrocks's original post's comments are closed.

Updated: SmockityFrocks took down the post, with additional defensiveness rather than an apology. Jesus is still crying. The rest of us know how to use Google Cache.  

Update 3.29: Cache is gone. Here is a permanent Google Doc link to SmockityFrocks's original post: http://is.gd/b5AAy

Here's my take, from a comment I left on StorkDok's site:

People rarely have epiphanies of compassion when they're feeling as defensive as Smockity. What I hope she's learned from this, whether it sinks in now or later, is that our children with autism deserve more tolerance and empathy than people might naturally give (although as [StorkDok] pointed out, I'm sure Jesus would have given the girl and her grandmother the benefit of the doubt), and that kids with autism have watchful, vocal advocates.

But hey, I'd like to thank Smockity for inspiring so many bloggers to write Autism Awareness Day posts! I'll list responses here as they come in (be sure to read the comments as well ... that's where some of the most helpful thinking is happening):

1. Liz Ditz: A Message for SmockityFrocks
2. Emily at A Life Less Ordinary: Thou Shalt Not Mock Other People's Children
3. StorkDok: So this is what those Moms are thinking when they give me and my son "that look" 
4. Elise at ASD2mom: Snarky Ignorance and Autism Awareness [3.28 Updated with Must-read postscript]
5. Terri Mauro at SpecialChildren.About.com: What Those Snippy Typical Parents Are Thinking Behind Your Back
6. JoeyMom: Judgments Aside
7. Life as the Mother of Four: I Wrote an Email to SmockityFrocks but William Erased it so I Can't Print it Here
8. Melissa H: We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming
9. Kim Wombles: When Life Gives You a Chance to Show Empathy, Get Defensive Instead
10. AutismHerd: In Which a Mother Chooses a Mote Instead of a Pen
11. BeThisWay: Hey parents of Autistic, Asperger’s and other ASD kids! Some of us parents of typical kids get it!
12. Mittentime: I Don't Often Post About Autism
13. Confutata: In Which Squillo Considers Motes and Eyes
14. Barb Dittrich: All Eyes Are on You! [Christian perspective, really lovely]
15. Kristina Chew at We Go With Him: Yes We Are the Weird Ones  
16. Lynne S at Understanding My Son: Judgment 
17. Tim at Both Hands and a Flashlight: Grace on Aisle 5 [hanky-worthy in a good way]
18. BCPSS Parent at Surviving the System: Maybe It's Not Paranoia [This has really shaken her up; please leave a supportive comment]
19. Raising Complicated Kids: Want a Little Challenge? 
20. 9.39: Our Mall Meltdown, or, The One Where I Tell Smockity Frocks Where to Go
21. Jean Winegardner at Washington Times Communities: When Autistic Behavior is Misunderstood
22. Retired Waif: When Awareness Means Nothing [longtime disability advocate's perspective]
23. Ramblings By a Liberal Feminist Geek: Autism Awareness (or Lack Thereof)
24. Jennyalice: How a Person's Name Becomes an Adjective [If SmockityFrocks reads but one reaction, I hope it's this one.]
25. Fuchsia With Yellow Polka Dots: Compassionate Disapproval for the Autism-Ignorant
26. Melissa at Miracle Baby: It Really Does Take a Village
27. Mom-Not Otherwise Specified: Autism Awareness and the Smockity Flap
28. Down the Rabbit Hole: Oh the Joys of Judgmental People [Perspective from a person with autism who used to *be* that four-year-old child]
    

---

Iz's Godfather Michael, with whom I've been friends since we were both younger than Mali, continues to demonstrate just how much-more-than-a-food blogger he is, for KQED Bay Area Bites. His last post was about an elementary school classmate of ours, the same age as Iz is now, who was murdered the summer before middle school. And, well, I'm not going to provide an excerpt. One read of Michael's post is all I can handle for now. But I hope you find it compelling.

----

Grab bag: Leo's classroom setting is changing (more on that soon), he's been the sweetest boy in the world, and he's starting to eat carrots willingly; Mali is obsessed with Tudor Revival architecture (don't you call it plain Tudor! SHE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE!) and finally had enough with Leelo pushing her and turned around and clocked him even though he has 60 lbs and 18 inches on her; Iz has declared that she will "go emo" if she doesn't get to see her beloved Violet (who moved schools this year) soon, and continues to be the world's most fortunate child as she is being whisked off to a ski hill with her cousins for the weekend. Which is good, because at the moment Leelo is my model child; I would give almost anything to separate those bickering girls for an entire weekend.

Hope your weekend is loverly. We're going to go see flamingos.

As the warm afternoon light gave way to the cooler notes of evening just steps away from the Pacific Ocean last Thursday night, Los Angeles' top chefs of today and tomorrow gathered in celebration of the city's finest food. The StarChefs annual Rising Stars event gave the recognized masters from local restaurants the chance to raise their glasses in honor of their proteges--and the next wave of talent cresting on our own shore.

For food lovers and food industry pros alike, the chance to meet up at the Fairmont Miramar Santa Monica under--and next to--the stars was a delicious opportunity, and a chance to help out Project Angel Food, to which a portion of the ticket sales were donated. A pre-event VIP reception welcomed many attendees who were able to mingle with chefs like Neal Fraser (Grace, BLD) and Ben Bailly (Petrossian) and to sip champagne and sample small bites to tease the palate. But the main event was in the front courtyard of the hotel, where guests made their way from table to table, star-hopping, and trying savory and sweet bites served on plates made of recycled leaves.

A welcomed balance of spirits and mixologists, wine and sommeliers, entree bites and chefs, and desserts and pastry chefs, there was just the right amount of food and drink being showcased so that guests could get a taste of it all (though being with good friends willing to share always helps).

Both the cocktails of the evening were stellar. There was the simplicity of The Varnish's Eric Alperin's The Highlander (Highland Park Scotch with a Twist) and the tongue-twisting adventure of Rivera's Julian Cox's Barbacoa (a wild mix of lime, ginger, red pepper, chipotle, Mezcal and bacon) to punctuate the evening, and, frankly, to dominate the available wine pairings, which we largely eschewed, mostly thanks to the combined struggle to snag a taste of each dish on offer and to balance plate and glass in the sizable crowd.

With trying all the food as a goal, we moved through the horseshoe of tables as the evening progressed, starting off with the lovely Roasted Beet Salad and Fresh Goat Cheese from BLD. Just as we are straddling two seasons on the calendar, the transition from the heft of winter ingredients to the youthful freshness of spring ingredients was evident in the dishes. The rich comfort of Animal's Poutine with Oxtail Gravy and Cheddar packed such a satisfactory wallop that it was tempting to seek out a quiet spot upon which to curl up in submission and slumber.

The two pork-centric bites were standouts, each teasing the sweeter side of bacon out with their pairings. First, a big surprise of the night came from San Diego's Nine-Ten, with their playful pork belly prepared Jamaican Jerk-style, served atop a sweet potato puree. But just down the way was the beckoning call ("Oink," maybe?) of Fig's Bacon-Wrapped Bacon. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes they did. To cut the sweet-salty-fatty triumvirate of flavors were the cheeky little tomatoes served with the piggy in his own blanket.

Over by Top Chef winner Michael Voltaggio's station, the foodies intersected with the, uh, shall we say, uneducated, as The Langham Dining Room's own star sliced into glorious, velvety-soft sous vide Wagyu beef for immediate serving. "Can I get some that's well done?" we overheard one guest inquire. Our eyes bugged out as round as the soft, buttery pillows of pasta we'd just tasted from Costa Mesa's Pizzeria Ortica. Voltaggio laughed, and kept serving up his sensuously rare meat that was melt-in-your-mouth good.

Not everything was a pure win like Voltaggio's meat, the Animal boys' poutine, and the tale of two pork bellies. Umami (who, incidentally revealed in conversation that their truck was not going to happen anymore) had mini burgers which drew a crowd, and mixed reviews for their calling card "5th flavor" (too salty), while Sona's seared foie gras was underdone and paired with a few too many sweet and distracting bites--one of which was as densely sugary as a Jelly Belly.

Of course, there was room for sweet in the form of dessert--and, yes, we saved room for it. There was a bite of childhood comfort in the form of a chocolate pudding pie from Huckleberry & Rustic Canyon, livened up and made grown up with the additional bite of cocoa nib sprinkled on top.

But the most mind-blowing moment of the whole night (forget seeing all those amazing chefs onstage for the ceremony) was courtesy Jordan Kahn, formerly of XIV by Michael Mina, who enchanted us with his tile-topped table of little boxes. Not made of tiki-tacky, mind you, but of white chocolate, and filled with compressed native strawberries, beet, cacao fruit, elderflower and violets. A Jackson Pollock-like splatter of purple syrup had Kahn and his dish pulling in crowds like a carnival sideshow, as the allure of his innovation--then, as we tasted--the palate-pleasing excitement of his creation stole the show.

Although this was a one-night only affair, for us Angelenos, we're lucky these honored chefs, and many of their mentors, call Los Angeles home. Our dining scene is an ever-expanding universe, and hopefully we can all go out and explore it.

If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat. ~Author Unknown

It's been raining and/or ugly for two day, which in and of itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. But when you have a young dog who is a bundle of energy and you can't expend some of that energy? Then things get a little crazy.

One day, she can deal with, but we hit day two yesterday (not really raining, but gale force winds and COLD, so we couldn't walk) and I knew I had to do something. So we piled the dog into the car and headed out to her favorite places.

We started with Agway, where we got grass fertilizer and she got lots of love and dog bones (and where I argued with the head helper about whether you catch and drown rodents, or catch and release -- she was telling our shared FedEx guy how to deal with a rat in his woodpile. I got a bit... *ahem*... vehement, but no blows were exchanged).

Next, we opted to take the time to go way the heck out of our way and hit Petco. Now, it used to be that the Petco employees spoiled Dakota rotten. It used to be they walked around with a bag of treats hooked to their pants so they could treat and pet all the dogs. She loved going there. But the last couple of times, things haven't been as much fun for her. In fact, the last time, she went through the check out line, sat pretty and waited for the treat they ALWAYS give her (and I even said something about her waiting for her treat) and they guy looked at her and then turned back, took my money and helped the next person, totally ignoring the dog.

Could YOU ignore this face?



Yesterday we saw no fewer than four employees who passed close enough to pat the dog, one even had to step out of our way to avoid her, and not one (NOT ONE) even acknowledged her presence, let alone patted her.

Worse, the three people there who had dogs wanted nothing to do with letting their dogs interact with her. One even seemed as though they though Dakota was going to eat their little shitz tsu (as if... please) and would yank the dog violently away whenever we were in view. Sadly, THEIR dog seemed very interested in playing.

I left without buying anything, even though I will typically get something for the dog when we go... treats, a chewy, a toy.

But DD and I were so angry by the time we left, we were spitting nails. Maybe a stupid thing to get upset about, but it's like taking your kid to a party and having them treated like a pariah.

I emailed Petco when I got home. And, I most likely won't be back to their store -- that's the third time in a row we haven't had a good experience.

==================

I talked to the lady whose Border Collie was attacked last week. He was so sad... slithered into agility class and then wrapped himself around my legs and just shook. I told her I was sorry about butting in with her dog, and she said, "NO. Don't be. I just froze." So, phew. It's all good.

We spent agility class trying to get him to be a little less cowed. He wanted to stay hiding under the chairs -- the room has a bad memory for him, and he was fine outside of it, but not in. Poor thing.

We also discussed the Great Dane with the instructor -- my complaint was that they never correct the dog, and the Border Collie's mom was frustrated that they didn't seem to be taking responsibility for their dog's bad behavior. They never even went to her to apologize that night last week.

The thing is, he's not a bad-tempered dog. Most Great Danes are just HUGE pussycats, and he's no exception. His problem is two-fold: he's not altered and he's not being told what is proper behavior.

The Border Collie's mom is on vacation the next two Thursdays, so won't be in the beginning class. Hopefully things will settle down by the time she's back.

====================

Did some writing on the sequel to "Kitchen Matches" yesterday (tentatively entitled "Now and Forever"). I've been struggling because it's not as funny on paper as it is in my head and every word I write has been an ordeal. But I decided to just push on through and then submit the first chapter to my writing group (who are going to think I'm schizophrenic, because I keep submitting things from different WIPs!) and see what they think. If they think it's dry as dirt, I'll go from there. Sometimes I think we can't judge our own work very well.

======================

I just realized I forgot to plant my seeds yesterday!! OH NO. That's first on my agenda this morning. Oh happy days, gardening season has begun.

======================

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookies

You are all American and down to earth. You tend to stick to the classics ... you can't go wrong with them. You have an eye for quality, and you are probably an accomplished baker. And you never skimp on real butter and eggs. Your friends can always count on you to be consistent and loyal. You are true to the end. You are sweet because you take time to do things right. You are thoughtful in all of your actions.

Hmmm... mostly right.

=================

That's right. The tech (Ms. Stabby) had probably done half of my scans, and poof, the machine froze up! Ms. Stabby kind of freaked out, although since she jabbed me several times with the belly probe, in the side and all around my pubic bone, I didn't feel too sorry for her. Course baby A is all up in my pelvic bone, so I 'pose I could give her some slack. Nah. Anyway... I digress. The $80, bajilliongazillion dollar machine just gave up. So Ms. Stabby goes to get the other tech, and both of them are scratching their heads. Meanwhile, my back is KILLING me all flat on the table and goop is running everywhere (I detest the goop), so I got Mr. PJ and an Army to hoist me up into sitting position.

The door swings open, and Dr. I'venevermethim comes in and he's on the cell phone, totally chewing some person out, I mean major tongue lashing for a good 10 minutes! Something about quitting the foundation, money not getting to him, the credit card not cooperating, tired of the time invested - I mean details folks! And he's yelling! And he's flipping buttons and messing with the plug, etc. and obviously distressed. And then he very politely asks us to go wait in the lobby.

So, we're in the waiting room again for I don't know, 15 minutes. Then Ms. Stabby comes back and gets us, they have fixed the machine. She asks me to drop trou for the cervix exam, and then she stabs my um, lady business but she's a little high and she keeps stabbing it (and oww)! And I have to tell her she's too high, and then it still hurt because I don't know, that's no man's land these days because I'm too scared to mess this whole pregnancy thing up and I'm also sooooo NOT in the mood. Anway...

Cervix is still 3.16 but she did something called a fundel where she pushed on my belly and it squished that measurement down to 2.75, but supposedly that's ok because there's no funnelling.

Babies are measuring right on, or in some cases up to a week ahead. Brains are a week ahead, so they will obviously be geniuses like their mom. Grin.

Baby A is head down in my pelvis, butt on my left side, feet upper left. Baby B is now transverse (was breech 2 wks ago), head right of my belly button, butt above my belly button, feet upper left. So yea, all of the feet are in one spot now which explains the kapows, and booms, and kaplooie's happening there.

They both have lots of fluid, and my superstar doctor came in (am so spoiled!!!) and said they have tons of room to move so don't expect them to remain in these positions. Much more optimistic than the last doctor, who was all like "maybe you should consider the possiblity of a cesarean". But whatever.

We got some 3D shots of baby B. Very cute,with her little hand curled up by her cheek. Baby A was too far in my pelvis to get one, probably busy bouncing on my bladdar (I took THREE trips to the bathroom during my visit).

We are cheap and have no scanner, so no pics. Sorry.

I can take Zyrtec for my god-awful seasonal allergies.

I was going to have my gestational diabetes test (the 1st one) today and was told it's too early, to wait until 28 weeks. Which is not what the other doctor said, but again, whatever.

We were there from 9:15-11:45. TWO AND A HALF HOURS! And since I eat constantly, I was actually jittery when we left so I WOLFED down a whopper and some fries.

Good thing I took the whole day off! :)

The best spoofs laugh with their subjects, not at them. Zucker, Abrahams, & Zucker obviously had a great love for the campy pleasures of disaster movies and the unintended humor of Zero Hour! when they made Airplane!, and Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's adoration of zombie cinema is apparent in every frame of Shaun of the Dead. In that same vein comes Patrick Barlow's stage adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock's popular 1935 thriller, which is as reverential to the source material — and to Hitch himself — as it is completely silly.

Hitchcock's film, the first of four filmed adaptations of a WWI-era John Buchan adventure novel, was one of the first of the director's many innocent-man-on-the-run movies, about suave Londoner Richard Hannay (Ted Deasy) who is wrongly accused of murder when he chances to put up an attractive secret agent for the night. The film proves to be remarkably fertile ground for comedy. That's not too much of a surprise, as Hitchcock's dry wit was as apparent as ever in this early work. In fact, much as was the case with the relationship between Zero Hour! and Airplane, the stage version of The 39 Steps is able to lift entire segments of dialogue from the original and reuse them, nearly untouched, in the adaptation, tweaking the delivery just enough to work them for big laughs.

That delivery usually involves a not-so-subtle wink wink, nudge nudge, say-no-more awareness on the part of the actors of everything they're doing. There's no pretense of a fourth wall here: the cast looks freely at the audience, and acknowledges and plays with the fact that they are four people playing a cast of over a dozen. The skilled Eric Hissom and Scott Parkinson often portray two and three characters within the same scene via costume and hat changes of nearly acrobatic dexterity. At one point, as the characters are instructed to board a car, all four look in confusion around at a stage with no such prop. They immediately begin scrambling to rearrange the four chairs onstage from the previous scene into a car-like configuration, tipping over a lectern to serve as an impromptu steering column.

The play doesn't just poke at this one Hitchcock film, either. Sometimes groan-worthy wordplay is employed to work in the titles of famous Hitchcock films from The Lady Vanishes to Vertigo, while ingenious staging and lighting gags are used to evoke images from Psycho and North By Northwest. The latter even manages to morph into a hilarious King Kong homage.

The result is as enjoyably corny as early Mel Brooks, as bizarrely hilarious as Monty Python, and as well choreographed as the Keystone Kops. All four actors relish the frequent opportunities for scene-chewing overacting, particularly Deasy as Hannay. Deasy takes the dashing protagonist first portrayed by Robert Donat in 1935 and turns the self-conscious charm dial up to eleven. If you've always found the uncomplicated romantic entanglements of classic movies to be a little hard to swallow, you'll especially enjoy the sudden swooning engaged in by Claire Brownell in all three of her roles; women just can't resist the charm offensive set up by Hannay, even under dire circumstances, handcuffed together and fleeing the police across the Scottish moors. Hissom and Parkinson do the real heavy lifting appearing as too many characters to count, Hissom particularly great at channeling the Terry Jones school of playing frumpy middle aged British women.

One gets the impression that these four haven't had this much fun since they were kids doing impromptu reenactments of their favorite films and television shows on the playground. The 39 Steps is rigidly timed and structured, yet retains the freewheeling feel of those playground improvisations. Goofy though it may be, the laughs are infectious, and are never in short supply.

Alfred Hitchcock's The 39 Steps has a brief run at the Warner Theatre, only through this Sunday. Tickets can be purchased online or at the Warner Box Office.

San Antonio, Oklahoma City, Houston, New Orleans, and Atlanta represent the final road gauntlet the Los Angeles Lakers must conquer, and how the team performs on this trip will likely have postseason implications.

Complicating matters, the Lakers will be without the services of Andrew Bynum, who sprained his left achilles' heel against Sacramento earlier in the week. His return is not expected for another two weeks.

Of the five teams the Lakers will face, three of them are more than likely destined for the postseason, and the other two are teams who may not reach the playoffs, but are dangerous nonetheless.

An injury to a player like Bynum is the last thing Los Angeles wants to be burdened with right now, but it's a good thing the NBA's most versatile player happens to be a member of their team.

The play of Lamar Odom will be crucial in this upcoming five game road trip, and if he can find the right level of consistency, he is the one player who could decide if the Lakers once again hoist the Larry O'Brien trophy in June.

If there is one player who could be called an X-factor in the playoffs, then it's Odom, because no other team has a player who is capable of contributing in the various ways that he can.

His 6'10" frame gives him a height advantage when he slides to the perimeter, and his ball-handling ability makes him a nightmare match-up for any post player who is forced to defend him outside of the paint.

Odom also competes on the boards as his 9.6 rebound per game average will attest, and he is called on to be the Lakers' primary ballhandler in certain situations, and is capable of being an efficient distributor in transition.

He is also an exceptional defender, and his length and quickness often disrupts the rhythm of the opposition's offense. Odom is also capable of sliding out to the perimeter and defending smaller players.

There is little on the basketball court which Odom is incapable of doing, and even though the other contenders around the league improved their rosters, not one can boast of a player with the multitude of talents he possesses.

And the reason is, no other player like Odom exists in the league, but his failure to excel at any one piece of the game may be a contributing factor to the consistency woes which have plagued his career.

Most people have heard the saying, "jack-of-all-trades, and a master of nothing," and this term aptly describes Odom, because although he does many things well, he doesn't have the focus or will to be a dominant player.

He seems to be comfortable with the ceiling his talent has reached, and even though it can sometimes leave fans pulling their hair, it actually works for this Lakers team.

Odom's quirky, submissive personality is a perfect counter for a player like Kobe Bryant, and the fact Odom can impact multiple areas of the game means he is effective regardless of who he is paired with in the lineup.

He is one of the more even-keeled players on the roster which makes him a natural outlet for the younger members of the Lakers, who may be awed by Bryant and his demanding nature.

But, in order for the Lakers to be successful Odom must sustain the type of efforts which have been more habitual this season, and eschew his inconsistent ways of the past.

Odom was huge for the Lakers in the postseason of 2009, and his inspired play combined with the performances of Pau Gasol and Bryant made the Lakers champions that season.

If Los Angeles hopes to reach the pinnacle of NBA success once again, then the play of Odom will be critical, because out of the core of Bryant and Gasol, Odom's performance is the least predictable.

But as shown in the past, Odom is more than capable of providing the necessary punch opposite of Gasol and Bryant, and due to the injury to Bynum, Odom's value to the Lakers is amplified.

The Lakers' quest for a repeat championship begins in earnest tonight in San Antonio, and Odom may hold the crystal ball which determines their fate in his hands.

An entire team of Clippers versus one senior citizen? Smart money's on the senior citizen.
The Washington Wizards Generals Bullets: The Bullets pushed a much better Bobcats team to overtime -- yeah, wrap your head around the notion that the 'Cats are a "much better" team than anybody -- but still stuffered a 95-86 home loss. It was Washington's 12th consecutive defeat. Washington's last victory? An 89-85 win over the New Jersey Nyets on February 28.

This is the saddest group of Wizards I've seen since, well, this guy:

Pictured: Blackwolf the Dragonmaster, Duke and First Marquess of Talisker and Unofficial Wizard and Sorcerer-in-Residence unto the Mortalfolk of the City, County and State of New York! No, really.
And here's where this historic fail starts to come in: the Bullets will tie the franchise record for longest losing streak if they don't beat the Pacers in Indiana tonight. Of course, it might never have come to this if the Bullets had gotten more than seven and a half minutes out of...

Andray Blatch: During the first quarter of the Bullets loss to the Bobcats, Washington coach Flip Saunders tried to give Blatch a little pep talk about defense. Apparently, Andray would have been more open to the idea of swallowing a bag of bot flies than laying a little D on somebody.

Said Saunders: "He didn't want to hear it. I told him, 'If you don't come and talk, if you don't want to be coached, you're not going to play.' We had coaches go up to him three different times, they said he didn't want to play. Fifteen years, never seen anything like it. He can be [mad] at me, whatever, but you never leave your teammates out to dry like that. Not when you've lost 11 games in a row and you've got a chance to win a game. Uncalled-for. We'll deal with it."

Saunders continued: "You know what I'm disappointed in? I'm disappointed that since we've started him, he gets 60 percent of the offense run through him. Coaches aren't wrong, no matter what. When a coach wants to teach you something, and you think you're above that, because you've played 16 games, good games? I had Kevin Garnett, that guy you could say one thing, he's up there, 'What do you want, Coach? I want to get better every time.' He never copped that type of attitude. That's ridiculous, it really is."

Remember: Flip also coached Rasheed Wallace and never go this jacked up. Think about that.

And Blatch better not look to his teammates for sympathy. Said Nick Young: "It's a disappointing situation from both ends. We really could've used Dray tonight. I told him, 'You're playing well -- you don't want to mess it up.' ... You've got to man up sometimes."

Oh, and as for that possible historic fail in Indiana tonight? It will probably happen without Blatch. Asked if Blatch will play against the Pacers, Saunders said: "I would doubt it. I don't know, but I would doubt it."

I guess I can already start on one of tomorrow's entries...

Reunitings: Former Bull Larry Hughes got to play with former Bull Tyrus Thomas again...and it was just like old times, as Big Shot Larry scored 4 points on 1-for-5 shooting while T-Time finished with 7 points on 3-for-8 shooting. Who says you can't go back again?

The Detroit Pistons: The Indiana Pacers hadn't won a road game since a 125-115 victory over the Houston Rockets on February 20. In all, Indy had suffered through a stretch of nine straight road court fails. Who knew that returning to the scene of the brawl that doomed them forever would allow them to finally break that streak?

Anybody who's watched the Pistons this year, that's who.

And here are some fun facts for Detroit fans to chew up and choke on. The Pacers are 4-0 against the Pistons this season...and 20-46 against the rest of the league. And this season marked the first time that Indy had ever swept Detroit in a season series. Wait, wait, not done yet! The Pacers have taken six straight games against the Pistons, which represents their longest streak over Detroit since a six-gameer spanning the 1999-2000 and 2000-01 seasons.

And since I've just given them the blogging equivalent of the papercut from hell, let's go ahead and squirt a little battery acid into the wound: The loss -- again, to a team that came into the Palace of Auburn Hills on a nine-game road losing streak -- mathematically eliminated the Pistons from playoff contention.

$90 million for Ben Gordon (12 points, 5-for-14) and Charlie Villanueva (11 points, 4-for-12). Freaking Kwame Brown (15 rebounds) played better than those guys! Sorry. Just had to get that out.

John Kuester: Of course, soon-to-be-former Pistons coach John Kuester felt like there was a little road cookin' going on. Kuester, whom the Associated Press describes as "normally one of the league's calmer coaches," earned himself the broze boot in the third quarter for rushing the court after Ben Gordon got called for an offensive foul.

Said Kuester: "I was trying to fight for our team. The foul differential was 26-14 tonight, and that isn't even giving us a chance to win."

Let's recap: Kuester felt that the Pacers -- the Indiana Pacers -- were getting preferntial treatment from the officials in Detroit and his grand plan to turn the tide was to get himself tossed out of the game. So, uh, anybody have any predictions about who's going to be coaching the Pistons next season?

By the by, Gordon was called for a flagrant foul for elbowing Indiana's Danny Granger in the head in the fourth. So, yeah, Kuester's plan totally worked. Kind of like how the Apple TamPlayer worked.

The Denver Nuggets: When people start ticking off the Western Conference teams who could possible dethrone the Lakers, the list usually includes the Nuggets, the Nuggets and, as a dark horse, the Nuggets. And yet when I browse over their schedule, I can't help but notice nagging little losses to teams like the Bucks (both before and after they were good), Clippers, Timberwolves, Pistons, Kings (twice), Sixers and Wizards. (And if Brad Miller had been a microsecond quicker, the Bulls would be included in that group.) I mean, if you're a Denver fan, that's a troubling list, right?

Well, you can add the Knicks to the lineup of hapless teams that have beaten the Nuggets this season. And as if the loss itself wasn't embarrassing enough, Danilo Gallinari (17 of his 28 points in the third quarter) won a little shooting-slash-smacktalking duel with Carmelo Anthony. I shit you not. The little back-and-forth got so testy that the officials had to step in and tell both players to shut it.

Said Gallinari: "That's the challenge. That's basketball. Talking is a great part of basketball. If you don't talk in basketball, you cannot play basketball. You've got to talk."

Replied 'Melo: "Actually it was kind of fun for me to see him hold his ground and not back down. He was kind of talking back to me out there, too, which I was kind of surprised."

You know, Anthony is a fantastic player. He really is. But don't you get the feeling that most of the all-time greats would have absolutely destroyed Gallinari in the same situation? Like, all that should be left of the kid is a smoldering crater or maybe a bucket of chum with shredded bits of Knick jersey. Ah well.

By the way, this was the first game of a five-game road trip for the Nuggets. And they still have stops in Boston, Orlando and Dallas. Oh, and Toronto, which I would have said was a gimmie until watching this game.

Said Chauncey Billups: "I think this is probably our most disappointing loss this season because it just means so much."

Yep. I bet the Lakers are shaking in their purple and gold undies.

[Player X] to New York rumors: Oh, now it might be Carmelo Anthony. So. Very. Excited.

Cheerleading fail: Since we're talking about this Knicks, check out this video sent in by Basketbawful reader Brian (whose profile photo looks like it came from a WotN post):


The Los Angeles Clippers: Dirk Nowitzki got himself ejected from the game (see below) and the Clippers crawled out of a 16-point hole to take a 4-point lead. The only thing The Other L.A. Team had to do to avoid an 11-game road losing streak was not get their asses handed to them by someone who qualifies for the senior citizen discount at McDonald's.

BUT...the Clips are who we thought they were.

Jason Kidd -- who was celebrating his 37th birthday -- scored a season-high 26 points (10-for-21 from the field, 6-for-11 from downtown) to go along with 12 assists as the Mavericks re-rallied for a 106-96 win.

Said Kidd: "Since Dirk was gone, I thought I would play Dirk today. I had some great looks early on that went in and out. Earlier in my career, I would've stopped shooting because I missed a couple. But I thought the team needed some scoring so I stepped up."

For the record, Kidd currently ranks third all-time in three-point field goal attempts and 13th in FGAs among active players, so I'm not sure there was ever a time he opted not to shoot. But I digress.

The Other L.A. Team shot just under 38 percent from the field and missed 18 three-pointers. And the Clipper's pine riders were awful, as the bench went 2-for-10 and contributed more fouls (8) and almost as many turnovers (4) as points (5).

Said Clippers coach/prisoner Kim Hughes: "I was disappointed that our bench didn't help us. I think if our bench would have performed we would have won the game."

Wait...is he being serious?

The Mad German: His team was ahead (65-56) and he was in fire (18 points in 19 minutes on 8-for-11 shooting), but Dirk Nowitzki just couldn't keep his mouth shut after Drew Gooden gave him a little shove in the back en route to an offensive rebound with a little over nine minutes to go in the third quarter.

Dirk had to hack Gooden to prevent a layup, then yelled at referee Bill Kennedy: "Bill, that's a two-hand push!" Nowitzki kept it up until Kennedy yelled back, "Bam! Right there!" That was tech number one. Dirk had retort. That was tech number two...and an automatic ejection.

It was only the third ejection of Nowitzki's 12-year career. After the game, he was unavailable for comment, which is kind of ironic since he was so available for comment during the game.

Dallas coach Rick Carlisle had some post-game comments tho': "That was a bad decision by Dirk. It puts the team in a terrible situation, and he knows it was wrong. If you get a technical, you get one and make your point, then you've got to let it go. He's too important to us."

Of course, Mark Cuban couldn't be quiet, either. According to ESPN Dallas: "Mavs owner Mark Cuban spent much of the third quarter screaming at Kennedy from his courtside seat. Cuban acknowledged that he 'absolutely, positively' would have made comments that would have drawn a fine from the NBA office if the Mavs lost the game, but he avoided specifically discussing Kennedy's call and decision to eject Nowitzki."

The ABA: From chris: "The ABA Western Conference Finals: canceled due to the Bay Area team not wanting to pay travel expenses. Epic."

Stephone Marbury: From AnacondaHL: "Starbury! MVP of the Chinese Baketball AllStar Game!!!!" It's true. And how appropriate is this part of the story: "Marbury was named MVP of the Chinese Basketball Association All-Star game with a 30-point, 10-assist outing. In 15 games with the Shanxi Zhongyu Kylins he also set a CBA record by averaging 9.6 assists, although the team fell short of the playoffs."

Anthony Tolliver: This is a day late, but there has been some demand for it. Thanks to Basketbawful reader manic for the link:


The New Jersey Nyets: And you thought their season couldn't get any worse...

Gilbert Arenas: And you thought his court case couldn't get any worse...

Antoine Walker: And you thought his life couldn't get any worse...

Lacktion report: WotN is back...and so is chris's lacktion report:

Bobcats-Bullets: Quinton Ross played Duck Hunt for 15 seconds to earn himself a Mario!

Pacers-Pistons: Chris Duhon fouled once in 2:15 to give Mike D'Antoni a +1 suck differential at MSG.

Clippers-Mavs: The Other LA Team's Craig Smith fouled twice in 4:03 for a +2 that also earned him a 2:0 Voskuhl.

By: Teresa Wiltz

I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Tyler Perry fan. When I first heard that Mr. Madea would be adapting For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf, I stomped around the office, gnashing my teeth and muttered, "Tyler Perry must be stopped!" News that he wanted to cast Beyoncé didn't help with the agitation.

I took comfort in knowing that at least Madea wouldn't be making an appearance in Ntozake Shange's seminal, Tony Award-winning choreopoem, which debuted on Broadway in 1976. At least.

Now I can take comfort in knowing that Beyoncé won't be making an appearance, either.

This week, Perry announced--drumroll--his official, Beyoncé-free cast: Whoopi Goldberg, Janet Jackson, Jurnee Smollett, Phylicia Rashad, Kimberly Elise, Mariah Carey, Kerry Washington and Macy Gray.

And I'm not (too) mad at him. They're all talented women. Macy Gray's demonstrated her thespian chops in Domino and Idlewild. (And was her whole spacey, drugged out, 1990s stage persona an act, too?) Mariah Carey surprised us all, post Glitter, by proving in Precious that she could act, too.

But still. They deserve a better director. A much better director. (What happened to Nzingha Stewart, who wrote the adaptation and was originally set to direct For Colored Girls?) Just as every good writer needs an eagle-eyed editor, just as the Lakers need Phil Jackson, actors need a savvy director to lead them around the pitfalls of over-emoting and underwhelming, to draw out the best possible performance. Say what you will about Precious and Lee Daniels, but he's a man who knows how to coax award-winning acting out of the most unlikely of performers.

Tyler Perry is not that man. Yes, over the course of his career he has cast some of the best actresses in black Hollywood, from Angela Bassett to Cicely Tyson to Alfre Woodard to Sanaa Lathan. But feeding McDonald's to a starving woman doesn't mean that you're serving up gourmet cuisine. Hollywood hasn't been kind to black actresses.

Now, I can appreciate his business hustle--and clearly, the gazillions of fans that flock to the multiplex to see Why Did I Get Married When I Can Do Bad All By Myself While Madea Goes to Jail can't all be wrong. (Or can they?) But there's a difference between commerce and art.  As Thembi Ford noted on The Root last fall, For Colored Girls is all stripped-down minimalism and carefully crafted angst. Perry doesn't do subtle. Perry does gun-wielding men in drag and scenery-chewing melodrama.

I hope that I'm wrong. Shange's work made a big, big impression on me when I was a playwriting major in college. I was too young to see the original production on Broadway, but her work seeped into my subconscious, nonetheless. How could it not? She rendered the lives of black girls and women poetic, writing with humor, passion and pain. So while I wish Tyler Perry well, I'll be holding my hopes out that the Broadway revival of For Colored Girls, produced by Whoopi Goldberg and starring India.Arie, will find another financial backer and finally, finally, finally make it to the stage.

Teresa Wiltz is The Root's senior editor. Follow her on Twitter.

 

Sometimes just one attorney at a firm is engaged and involved in blogging, and sometimes the whole gang gets involved in a firm's blog.

That's the case for the Virginia Real Estate, Land Use and Construction Law Blog, where instead of just one blogger to profile, we have three dynamic attorney-bloggers from the Virginia firm Bean, Kinney & Korman.

Timothy Hughes, Heidi Meinzer and Tad Lunger each serve as the "editor" for the different fields the blog covers. Tim is the Lead Editor, Heidi is editor of Litigation and Tad handles Land Use. It's a great way to make sure all relevant topics get covered without running into issues of redundancy.

The blog has been live for just over six months, during which time the attorneys have made huge strides both in terms of connecting with others in their field and making the firm known as an authority on the subject.

"The blog has been the best way – individually and personally – to keep on top of real estate, land use and construction law issues," Heidi says. "It has the added benefit of making sure people in the industry know that Bean Kinney is great place to get help in these areas, every step of the way from acquiring or selling property, financing projects, getting through the land use and permitting issues and seeing the project through to the end."

We caught up with the attorneys at Bean, Kinney and Korman for the LexBlog Q&A to learn more about the response to their blog and why the construction law blogosphere is so vibrant.

See our email exchange with them, after the jump.

Lisa Kennelly: Why did you decide to start a blog?

Tad Lunger: I’ve been following a number of blogs for years. In my practice you have to be an information junkie to survive. Blogging is a great forum to exchange ideas and information, and blogging allows you to be more actively involved in these pursuits, rather than being passively involved as merely a reader of other blogs. Clearly, it also makes your ideas and thoughts more visible to a broader community of people and interests.

Lisa Kennelly: What has been the response to your blog, and from whom?

Tim Hughes: The reaction to the blog has been exciting. A great example is last weekend meeting a lawyer from a large international law firm. He heard my name and immediately said, “Ah, you are blogger, I follow your blog.” It is a wonderful direct confirmation that the inchoate buzz factor is starting to develop from our efforts.

The even better thing has been developing relationships with other voices in this space. I have really enjoyed sharing ideas, commentary and friendship with folks like Matthew DeVries of Best Practices Construction and Jay O’Keeffe of De Novo. I became friendly with Victoria Pynchon before I realized she was another Lex Blogger. I recently had a great lunch meeting with Scott Johnson and Angela Frank of Virginia Business Law Update. Shari Shapiro of the Green Building Law Blog is not only a great talent, but was very generous with helping me shape our firm’s efforts to craft and adopt its sustainability policy. Chris Cheatham of Green Building Law Update and I are friends and he helped us pick LexBlog and has been a huge source of advice. Last but definitely not least, Chris Hill of Construction Law Musings is not on the LexBlog network, but has been tremendously supportive of our blog and helping me getting established on Twitter.

The real story is about using the platform of a voice to develop relationships. I am speaking at the Green Legal Matters conference in New Orleans in April with Shari Shapiro and Chris Hill. Chris Cheatham was pivotal in the invite. All of this has developed in a few months which is a testament to the type of energized relationship building that is possible by actively blogging and cultivating relationships.

Lisa Kennelly: The construction law blogosphere seems to be a particularly active and engaged one. Why do you think this is?

Tad Lunger: I think our blog provides a forum for communication of ideas for an industry that everyone is always talking about but nobody ever hears from publicly. It provides a microphone for the individual architect, developer, or county attorney, etc. to say “Hey – this is how I am actually affected by this issue – has anyone ever thought of this before?” Most of my clients and the consultants I work with are extremely capable, passionate and opinionated people who don’t get enough opportunities to be heard.

Heidi Meinzer: There is no doubt that the market and the economy is turning everything on its head right now. We are very fortunate that Northern Virginia has not been hit as hard as other geographical regions and is still generating plenty of development and transactional work. However, even the areas that have been hard hit by the economy have been hot beds for litigation. In addition, due to political turns, tax issues – and particularly business tax issues – have come to the forefront.

Lisa Kennelly: How do you come up with blog post ideas, and how do you avoid "writer's block"?

Tim Hughes: One of the biggest benefits to blogging is the need to constantly find topics. This has forced me to scour information sources, articles, statutory and case updates, and blogs, demanding that I aggressively keep on top of the law daily. I use the “starring” function in my Google Reader to help sort through interesting blog topics. Finally, I use Evernote to clip web page topics for various categories and blog topics. It is rare that I really struggle searching for something to write about, and on those occasions I generally turn a large databank of previously published articles to talk about basic legal concepts that we may not have touched on previously.

Lisa Kennelly: What advice would you give to someone thinking about starting a blog?

Heidi Meinzer: Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Think through exactly what you can offer to the blogosphere and don’t overpromise or oversell yourself. Try not to be redundant with what is already floating around on the blogosphere, and really let your true area of expertise shine. Stay current, but don’t feel like posting solely to post – better to have fewer well written posts than lots of fluff.

Interested in hearing more? Recent LexBlog Q & A posts:

• Patrick Lamb of In Search of Perfect Client Service [2.23.10]
• Brian Galbraith of Ontario Family Law Blog [2.19.10]
• Jay O'Keeffe of De Novo: A Virginia Appellate Law Blog [1.26,10]
• Matthew Burnett & Kate Bladow of Technola [1.7.10]
  

Or, see our full list of legal blog interviews.

My eighteen-year-old niece Mariah helps us with Marlo several hours a week so that we can run this here Internet Website Blog Thing, and early on we had to make a few adjustments to our day:

Scene: the lunch table.

Picture: two extraordinarily liberal former Mormons who have had a hard time letting go of inappropriate language, even in front of their young children, going off about something Rush Limbaugh has said.

Suddenly, I stop, cover Jon's mouth, turn to Mariah and ask, "Um, quick question. Do you believe in evolution?"

She finishes chewing a bite of salad and goes, "Of course not. DUH."

I look at Jon, he looks at me, and we both go UH. OH.

Conclusion: there have been many, many—okay COUNTLESS times when I have had to say, "Mariah, please cover your ears, because I CANNOT HELP MYSELF," and then gone on a rant that includes pacing around the living room while I tear at my hair.

There is a Mormon among us now. One who routinely wears clothing emblazoned with the BYU logo. We try to be very respectful of what she believes, and I think we've been successful at it. Although, I am the daughter of a prankster. Remember when I posted this? Don't send the hatemail to me, send it to my dad! He made me this way!

For instance, you may not be familiar with local politics, but the rivalry between the University of Utah and BYU is not unlike the rivalry between Satan and God. These schools despise each other, and Mariah won't even wear a red piece of clothing because that is the official color of the University of Utah. I am not kidding. I think she may even boycott Valentine's day and has been known to spit violently on roses.

So one afternoon while I was standing in line to pay for groceries I noticed a display of red water bottles for sale, all the benefits going toward some program at the University of Utah. And because I care very much about "programs" I bought one right then. For the programs! I certainly hope the government is involved in some way!

And then at lunchtime as we all sat down to eat, I filled the bottle with water and sat it next to Mariah's plate. No big deal, I thought. We'd all have a good laugh. Except, Mariah saw it and WOULDN'T EVEN SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE. In fact, she recoiled.

No way. Not in a million years (which is WAY older than the age of the Earth, you know).

So I told her I'd give her ten dollars if she took a sip out of it. NO. Twenty dollars? NOT EVEN. FIFTY? A HUNDRED?! Mariah, I said to her, look, I'll double your hourly rate and buy you a car! ONE SIP. JUST ONE TINY SIP!

Let's just say that we spend several hours a week with BYU's most loyal fan. This doesn't mean that I won't strategically place this water bottle right beside the baby wipes so that when Mariah goes to change Marlo's diaper she has to touch it. Or place it just so in the pantry so that when she opens the door it falls right into her face.

Some experts might call this a hostile working environment. I call it Working With Michael Hamilton's Daughter.

by dooce in Daily

© Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Originally published by Heather B. Armstrong for dooce.com as Seeing red. This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Will you admit to having a fondue set? What's your favourite recipe, and do you employ a system of forfeits for items dropped in the pot?

I can't remember what prompted me to buy a fondue set. It was back in the mid 1990s, when the fashion for fondues had come and gone and they were generally considered a bit of a joke, with references aplenty to smelly socks. At that time I was oblivious to the vagaries of culinary fashions, but they would not have swayed me anyway - as far as I was concerned, a fondue set opened the door to cheese heaven, fondues being way up there with all those other cheesy comfort foods like macaroni cheese, tartiflette, welsh rarebit and of course all the variations on the toasted cheese sandwich (never bettered than when made on the simmering plate of the Aga, something I mourn the loss of almost daily). Such foods deliver up luscious strings of melty cheese, along with an intensely umami brown crust which I have always found impossible to resist. The fondue has both - eat up all that unctious cheesy goodness and you are rewarded by the cheese crust (la religieuse) at the bottom of the pot - possibly the best bit and always greedily fought over.

Had I needed to look for reasons beyond satisfied tastebuds to justify my fondue obsession, I could have trotted out its classical origins – it is a dish which deserves so much more than association with that decade of bad taste, the 1970s. Yes, its modern incarnation stems from a way of making hard cheese palatable during harsh Alpine winters, but the origins go deeper. Is it likely that the person who, in the modern age, first thought to melt cheese with wine in a caquelon (earthenware dish) and keep it hot at the table had read Homer? It's possible, even considering it was a peasant dish, but even so, the first ever recipe for what became known as fondue is found in The Iliad, and consists of Pramnos wine, grated goats' cheese and white flour melted together – surely this must be one of the earliest recorded European recipes?

Smelly socks jokes aside, I found from the first that a fondue on the table used to go down well with everyone, especially at family parties, and my set (a lovely cast iron enamelled Le Creuset) has been rarely out of use. It was so beloved in my household that it ended up on our list of disputed items when my ex husband and I split (I won, he kept the juicer). I usually stuck to a traditional recipe of gruyère, emmental, wine and kirsch served with cubed French bread or boiled sautéed potatoes – that is, until I realised that I was missing an opportunity.

Fondue is an excellent way of getting children to eat vegetables. The lure of melted cheese gets them spearing cherry tomatoes, cauliflower florets, cubes of courgette and baby sweetcorn with relish. It teaches an appreciation of table manners – they have to learn to be patient and wait while someone else is dipping, and understand why double dipping is frowned upon (though we eschewed the Swiss custom of making them buy a round of drinks (men) or kiss the man on their left (women) if they accidentally dropped something in the pot).

More recently I have varied the cheeses, eating those forbidden to me in their raw state during pregnancy (ever had a blue cheese fondue?). Egged on by Jill Spencer's Fondue Cookbook from 1976 (a charity shop find), I have looked afresh at the cheese fondue, and while I have balked at some ideas (such as adding a can of game soup to the mix), seasonings such as mustard, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, anchovy and smoked mussels all work, as does varying the type of alcohol (beer, cider, sherry). I've also dabbled with fondue bourguignonne (meat or fish, sometimes marinated, cooked in hot oil/butter or stock, similar to the Mongolian or Chinese hot pot and tempura / vegetable fritters. Yes, these can be done in the deep fat fryer, or on the stove top, but it is so much more relaxed and sociable leaving everyone to cook their own at table and it's a useful standby if the gas or electricity goes off (a common occurrence in the 1970s, I wonder if that has anything to do with their popularity at that time?).

Of course, there's also the sweet fondue, and here the possibilities are endless. Who needs a chocolate fountain when you can make chocolate fondue? And pretty much any sauce which can cope with a low heat works – I have fondue recipes for mocha, fudge, rum caramel, butterscotch, creamy banana, various fruits including an alcohol-laced cherry – all served with fruit, or cubes of cake or brioche.

When asked, friends talked nostalgically, even wistfully about fondue, though admitted that their sets don't get much used, one referring to them as "yet another dust carrier of life". However, it wasn't just about the food, it was the whole experience – an experience which everyone can enjoy as everything is prepared ahead. There's the presentation, with the fondue taking pride of place, surrounded by the accoutrements (things to dip, sauces for the meat and fish), and there's the fact that sharing food from one pot like this conveys warmth, trust and conviviality. For this alone, I think they should be revived (although some people have the opposite view), and there are some indications that they are doing so – supermarket supplies of the instant packs are often depleted, the internet is awash with recipes and advice on how to throw the perfect 'fondue party' and I am seeing occasional references cropping up on the social networking sites.

So do you admit to having a fondue set and more to the point, is it still in use? If so, do you have a favourite recipe to share, and if not, would you be tempted to dust it off?

The tactic of playing right-footers on the left wing, and vice versa, is increasing widespread and effective. Why?

Football used to be an easy game. The big lads played at centre-half and centre-forward, the hard lads played at full-back, the bright lads played at inside forward, the hard lads who were a bit bright and the bright lads who were a bit hard played at wing-half, and the little, quick lads played on the wing. Left-footers played on the left and right-footers played on the right. And the one with no mates went in goal.

Eight decades on, and it's all rather more complicated, and not just because not all goalkeepers these days are entirely socially dysfunctional. Wingers disappeared for a while, and became a luxury item, almost a museum piece, but now they're back, all over the place, and the tendency is for them to play on the opposite flank.

There have always been a handful who did that. Tom Finney, for instance, played as a right-footed left-wing in the greatest English forward line there has ever been – along with Stanley Matthews, Stan Mortensen, Tommy Lawton and Wilf Mannion – but that was only because Matthews was already installed in his preferred position. Later, players such as Dennis Tueart, Chris Waddle, Marc Overmars and Robert Pires, operating on the opposite side through preference, were highly effective coming in on to their stronger foot.

But now these inside-out wingers are everywhere. At Barcelona, Leo Messi is proving himself probably the greatest individual talent since Diego Maradona, cutting in from the right on to his stronger left foot. Arjen Robben has resurrected Bayern Munich's season doing much the same. Cristiano Ronaldo is right-footed and plays on the right, but is so strong with his left that he too is constantly shifting inside, looking for shooting opportunities.

It's the same in England. Ashley Young is a right-footed left-winger. Adam Johnson is left-footed but has made an impact at Manchester City on the right, while Craig Bellamy, a right-footer on the left, has arguably been their best player this season. Niko Kranjcar plays on the left but drifts infield on to his right. Damien Duff spent most of his career on the left but has prospered on the right for Fulham. At Wigan, the left-footed Charles N'Zogbia is having a decent season on the right. Steed Malbranque has been a revelation in recent weeks on the left for Sunderland. At national level, Steven Gerrard has become the preferred choice on the left of the attacking midfield trident when Fabio Capello opts for 4-2-3-1. So why is the tactic so effective, and why has it suddenly become so widespread?

The death of the traditional winger

Herbert Chapman, who foresaw most developments, was suspicious of the winger even before the 1925 change in the offside law prompted the shift away from 2-3-5 to W-M. His Huddersfield team that won the FA Cup in 1922 and went on to lift three successive league titles featured two wingers in George Richardson and Billy Smith who eschewed the touchline-hugging stereotype. Inside passing, Chapman argued, was "more deadly, if less spectacular" than the "senseless policy of running along the lines and centring just in front of the goalmouth, where the odds are nine to one on the defenders".

Chapman's Arsenal side that itself completed a hat-trick of championships was thoroughly modern in the sense of having wingers who regularly drifted infield, making the most of the long, accurate passing of the inside-forward Alex James. Yet for all their success, the image of the winger, isolated, bandy-legged, sashaying his way past the full-back and crossing, remained to English eyes the creative ideal. Perhaps the hurly-burly of English midfields, or the fact that from autumn onwards the only firm ground was to be found out wide, meant flair was necessarily pushed to the flanks. Perhaps it was simply nostalgia.

In the year immediately following the World War Two, there was a great flowering of the English winger with Matthews, Finney, Len Shackleton, Bobby Langton, Jimmy Mullen, George Robb, Johnny Hancocks and Charlie Mitten. The problem was that they emerged just as the collectivist football of the Communist bloc was demonstrating the outmodedness of the English focus on the individual.

Mikhail Yakushin, the manager of the 1945 Dinamo Moscow tourists, for instance, was scornful of Matthews. "The principle of collective play is the guiding one in Soviet football," he said. "A player must not only be good in general; he must be good for the particular team. His individual qualities are high, but we put collective football first and individual football second, so we do not favour his style as we think teamwork would suffer." It took the 6-3 mauling at home to Hungary in 1953 to bring that message home – six months after what many saw as the apogee of wing-play, Matthews's performance in the 1953 FA Cup final.

What really did for the old-school winger, though, was the shift from the three at the back of the W-M to a back four, a process which began in Hungary, the Soviet Union and Brazil in the 1950s and was universalised after Brazil's successes in the 1958 and 1962 World Cups. The back three of the W-M operated on a pivot; the ideal for attacking teams was to switch play rapidly from one flank to the other, so "turning" the defence, and providing space for the winger so he could be travelling at speed by the time he reached the full-back. Add an extra defender, and that acceleration room simply isn't there any more.

It was that realisation that led Alf Ramsey and Viktor Maslov to develop the 4-4-2 (or, more accurately in both cases, the 4-1-3-2) in the mid-1960s. As their ideas took hold, the winger became a wide midfielder, a shuttler, somebody who might be expected to cross a ball but was also meant to put in a defensive shift. The lop-sided 4-3-3s of the 1970s could still accommodate something approximating to a winger, but by the 1980s they had become increasingly rare, evolved out of existence by the dominance of 4-4-2 and 3-5-2 – which Johan Cruyff described as "the death of football" precisely because it militated against wing-play.

The reinvention of the winger

As 4-2-3-1 and 4-1-2-3 came to vie with 4-4-2, so the winger could be introduced. Dribbling was a way of disrupting the predictability that 4-4-2 often seemed to engender, and the deployment of two holding midfielders provided the platform that enabled the incorporation of dribblers again. Why, though, do so many prefer to turn infield rather than doing what wingers used to do, trying to get to the goal-line and sweep in a cross?

With a lone centre-forward, of course, there is a need for the advanced midfielders to provide goals (and conversely, it may be that many of the players now operating as wide forwards would in a previous age have been second strikers), particularly if that forward operates as a false nine, so that perhaps, to an extent, explains the modern directness.

But it also seems hard to explain the idea that the most lethal cross was a ball dragged back from the goal-line. It can be dangerous of course, raising doubt in a goalkeeper's mind as to whether he should come to claim or not, but there seems no reason why it should be more threatening than an inswinger delivered at pace (I'm not sure any stats exist to prove or disprove this, but if they do, please post a link).

In fact, intuitively, it would seem a ball whipped towards the far post that requires just a touch to divert it in or that will sneak in if nobody touches it is more dangerous. It also feels as though that sort of goal has become more common over the past decade or so. That may itself be a result of an increasing number of inside-out wingers, or it may be a result of the increased spin that can be imparted on modern balls, or even perhaps of the liberalisation of the offside law which forces teams to defend deeper – an inswinger curving into the far post is obviously more dangerous if players are running into it six yards out than 15 yards out, both in terms of angle and the time a goalkeeper would have to react to a touch.

There are other advantages to a wide player coming inside. For one thing, given most full-backs still play on the traditional side, a winger taking him on on the inside is attacking his weaker foot. For another, a wide player drifting infield is opening space for an overlapping full-back, of whom there are an increasing number. The link-up of Pires and Ashley Cole at Arsenal was an early example of that; more recent examples include Ivan Rakitic and Danijel Pranjic for Croatia, Gerrard and Cole for England and, most obviously, Messi and Dani Alves for Barcelona.

And then there is the issue of acceleration room. A full-back pushed tight on a wide forward does not allow him to accelerate down the line, but by cutting inside on to his stronger foot, the forward opens up room on the diagonal. It is that, for instance, that allowed Messi to score his first against Stuttgart last week. It was rapidly obvious what he was going to do as he turned inside but the best efforts of four defenders couldn't stop him because of the pace he was going at by the time he got within shooting range.

The two types of inside-out winger

Not that the wide forward has to use the room to dribble into. Darren Bent's second goal for Sunderland against Birmingham on Saturday, for instance, came because Malbranque checked inside, and had space to measure an angled pass to the forward with his stronger foot. Earlier in the season, playing on the right, Malbranque looked past it, too slow to beat his full-back on the outside, so right-footed that when he came inside he resembled a canoe with only one paddle, turning always in a circle away from goal. Switching to the left means the lack of pace no longer matters, and he effectively becomes a playmaker who happens to operate wide.

That certainly has been the role occupied by Kranjcar and Luka Modric at Spurs; in their case, the flank becomes an area where a playmaker can still be accommodated in the English game. Others, though, such as Ronaldo and Bellamy, are more obviously forwards, who just happen to start wide. Wayne Rooney's aerial ability perhaps means that centre-forward is his best position, but previous seasons have suggested that he too could occupy that role.

And in between, both playmaker and forward, is Messi, a genius for all the ages. It is hard to believe any player starting wide has had such an impact on games so regularly since Matthews (and even then you wonder whether British pundits, conditioned to see greatness in wingers, weren't seeing what they wanted to see).

Wide forwards can be stopped, but it takes a major change for the defending team. Alvaro Arbeloa's marking job on Messi for Liverpool in 2007 shows how effective it can be switching a right-footed full-back to play on the left flank, and Young's slightly stuttering form for Aston Villa earlier this season shows what can happen when full-backs get used to showing a player outside rather than inside.

But then a player of the class of Ronaldo or Messi (as he is today) will simply go outside (could that, in fact, be why Barça bought Zlatan Ibrahimovic, to give them an aerial presence if Messi were forced into crossing more often?), and playing a right-footer at left-back or a left-footer at right-back immediately impairs their capacity to overlap.

So, the wide forward is hard to combat, scores goals, can operate as a playmaker and creates space for attacking full-backs. All he doesn't do is get to the by-line and curl in away swingers. He seems such a potent threat that the real puzzle is why he didn't emerge earlier.

Wednesday, March 24

Basia Bulat
In modern music industry terms, Basia Bulat is pretty successful—the self-taught Canadian-by-way-of-Poland folksy-pop singer has had not one but two songs picked up for car commercials. Influenced by both the Carter Family and Neutral Milk Hotel, new tracks like "Gold Rush" and "Go On" off her second album Heart of My Own pour her vocals—aggressive and tinged with a little diva melisma—over driving global drum-circle sounding percussion that gets you glimmers of Graceland if not to that old clinch mountain home or over the sea, per se. Heart's beats are fast and fiery, with an urgency much more immediate and intense than 2008’s relatively chill Oh, My Darling. We know, we know, don't let the cheesy album titles scare you. Bulat's a real-deal multi-instrumentalist with something to say. -Tara Murtha

8pm. $10. With Meg Baird. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. r5productions.com

Red Hot Patriot with Kathleen Turner
Actress Kathleen Turner lends her smoky chords to Philadelphia Theatre Company's Red Hot Patriot, a one-woman show about one hell of a woman. Patriot tells the story of Molly Ivins, the American newspaper columnist and political commentator known for her fearless barbs and playful prose. Ivins was raised under the broad Texas sky, the daughter of an affluent Houston oil man. She'd go on to spar with state legislatures and bureaucrats looking to strike it rich on the black-gold of the Arab world. A harsh critic of the conservative establishment, she retained a Southern charm that made her a hit with readers across the country until her death in 2007. Twin sisters Margaret and Allison Engel- journalists in their own right- combed through a lifetime of editorials and speeches to capture the voice of the funny and forthright American icon. -Paul F. Montgomery

7pm. $46. Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. 215.985.0420.

Thursday, March 25

Jonatha Brooke
And you thought Billy Bragg and Wilco took all the good stuff. Their two Mermaid Avenue albums plumbed the depths of the Woody Guthrie archive, which his daughter, Nora, opened up for Bragg and others to do some digging. He and Wilco then wrote music to the lyrics they found. Turns out Jonatha Brooke was doing some digging of her own, and Woody's words sound a lot different coming from a pure-pitched alto than they do from a grizzled old punk rocker. Good thing, too: The Works, Brooke's musical compendium of Guthrie's lyrics, continues to reveal sides of the American music godfather we never knew, from the spurned bitterness of "You'd Ought to Be Satisfied Now" to the pubescent lust of "All You Gotta Do Is Touch Me." Time to grab that shovel again, Bragg. -Jeffrey Barg

7:30pm. $41-$55. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400.

Philadelphia Union Party
This is it: The chance to say, when Philadephia's next great sports franchise was born, "I was there." Or at least, "I watched it live on TV with a bar full of other maniacs." The Philadelphia Union plays its first game in Major League Soccer Thursday night against the Seattle Sounders. For those who can't join the hundred-or-so die-hards traveling to the Pacific Northwest for the game, join the Sons of Ben (the Union's awesome fan group) upstairs at the Dark Horse Pub for unhinged screaming and cheering. This could just be a playoff season for your new favorite team, with a roster studded with U.S. national squad members, plenty of Euro flair and a very special Brazilian called Fred. Before you leave the house, remember to watch the Sons' best chant on YouTube- "Sticking to the Union," sung to the great Woody Guthrie tune. All together now? Uuuuuuuuuuunion! -Tom Cowell

9:30pm. Free. Dark Horse Pub, 421 S. Second St. 215.928.9307.

Friday, March 26

Allison Miller Quartet
Just after Thanksgiving '09, drummer Allison Miller played Philly in a trio with saxophonist Ellery Eskelin and organist Erik Deutsch. Her new Boom Tic Boom is a different animal, with fellow Ani DiFranco sideperson Todd Sickafoose on bass and the esteemed Myra Melford on piano. There's a twist too: violinist Jenny Scheinman guests on one track, and the collab worked well enough for Scheinman to join full-time on the road, making Miller's project a quartet. The music has rhythmic teeth and quirks but also a decidedly melodic aspect, a sound befitting a leader who has worked with everyone from progressive reedist Marty Ehrlich to organ groover Dr. Lonnie Smith. -David R. Adler

8pm. $12. Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St. 215.545.4302.

An Evening With John Waters
Crown prince of crude, filmmaker John Waters hits Bryn Mawr to do a bit of trash talking. In his bawdy solo routine called "This Filthy World," Waters tells his lewd life story, from his origins in the muck of Baltimore, to his rise to fame and glory-holes as the grand muckety-muck of B-movie sleaze. Waters sought Divine providence in gender-bender cinema with films like Pink Flamingos and Female Trouble in the 1970s, then went on to attract big-name stars like Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci in the '90s. Somewhere along the way, art happened, and there are tales to be told. Find out just what it takes to earn an NC-17 and learn the difference between exploitation and just being advantageous. Does anything put a curl in that pencil mustache? Hop the R5 and head back to school for a one-night class of low-class hysterics. -P.F.M.

8pm. $10-$18. Goodhart Hall, Bryn Mawr College, Yarrow St. and N. Merion Ave. 610.526.5210.

Spalding Gray: Stories Left To Tell
Spalding Gray, perhaps theater's greatest monologist, passed away in 2004 from an apparent suicide. His tales, however, are brought to life in the surprisingly moving Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell, which runs for three consecutive evenings at the Painted Bride Art Center. Created by Gray's widow, Kathie Russo, and director Lucy Sexton, the piece features excerpts from Gray's most penetrating monologues including Gray's Anatomy, Life Interrupted and the magical Swimming to Cambodia. Performed by a core ensemble of four, the cast is augmented with a different guest performer each evening including Marty Moss-Coane, the likable and talented host of WHYY's Radio Times who takes the stage tonight.  During his career, Gray was a mainstay at the Bride, performing annually until 1986 and making a final appearance in 2001.  Though Gray is gone, his stories continue to provide us with an indelible picture of both the man and ourselves. -J. Cooper Robb

8pm. $25. Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St. 215.925.9914.

Absurd Commentaries:A Partiformance
Oil your hinges and warm up for an interactive celebration of kinetic energy and the complex rhythms of everyday life. With Absurd Commentaries: a Partiformance, DJ Tony East and the hoofers of Movement Brigade present a series of dance narratives that invites audiences to abandon their comfort zone and embrace the absurd. Featuring performances by Eleanor Goudie-Averill, Tim Popp, Daniele Strawmyre and Alie Vidich, the works encompass numerous genres and musical styles including hip-hop, reggae and electronic. Dancers rhapsodize the urban grind, drawing from personal experience, a friend's poetry, even Japanese ghost stories. These are lively sequences of motion and expression that speak of romantic happenstance, chance meetings of lonely-heart lovers and syncopated strangers. It's life and community and all the action verbs in between. Grab the oddest threads in your closet and come as you aren't for a discounted ticket and an opportunity to join in the festivities.  -P.F.M

8pm. $10-$15. The Arts Parlor, 1170 S. Broad St. 267.467.0657.

Saturday, March 27

Chris Potter Underground
Saxophonist Chris Potter is a technical stunner but impeccably musical, with well over a dozen releases to his name and sideman credits that include Dave Holland, Dave Douglas, Paul Motian and countless others. He's recorded everything from straight combo (Unspoken) to chamber tentet (Song For Anyone), but with Underground, Follow the Red Line and most recently Ultrahang, he's pursued an offbeat sound with the Doors-ish instrumentation of solidbody guitar, Fender Rhodes electric piano and no bass. Keyboardist Craig Taborn, guitarist Adam Rogers and drummer Nate Smith (a Dave Holland bandmate) handle Potter's new turns in advanced jazz and hard funk with a fierce attack and a steady hand. -D.R.A.

8pm. $25. Chris¹ Jazz Cafe, 1421 Sansom St. 215.568.3131.

Slinky Birthday Party
What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? That question was answered 55 years ago when a Philadelphia naval engineer named Richard James was working on a gizmo to measure the horsepower of a battleship. He dropped a tension spring, and the Slinky was born. The dates are as fluid as the toy, but around March 27, 1945, James and his wife started marketing the do-hickey to local toy stores. It didn't really take off until it was in Gimbel's department store at Christmas of that year. The 27th is, however, James' birthday as well as that of his son Tom-the first kid to ever play with a Slinky- who will be at the Seaport Museum for the launch of its new exhibit, "It Sprang From The River." More bizarre than the toy's invention is the inventor's downward slide into a Bolivian religious cult. But that's for another day. Now: Cake. -Peter Crimmins

1pm. $7-$12. Independence Seaport Museum, 211 S. Columbus Blvd. and Walnut St. 215.413.8655.

Sunday, March 28

Wye Oak
If nothing else, the glut of bands lurching out of Baltimore these past few years has proved there's more to "the city that bleeds" than The Wire, rat fishin', and an unfeasibly high homicide rate. From the hirsute heroics of folk rockers Arbouretum to the arch fuckwittery of Dan Deacon, the Baltimore scene is nothing if not diverse. Standing in the shadows are its resident-shrinking violets, Wye Oak, a band who seem to eschew the self conscious hipsterdom of so many of their contemporaries, as they plow their own singular furrow, one of folk-tinged dream pop, with an almost defiantly retro-early '90s vibe- think Galaxie 500, Belly and MBV. Add slow burning songs packed with insidiously effective hooks which bury their way into the inner recesses of the skull, and an overwhelming element of fragile beauty, and we're talking a band to cherish. -Neil Ferguson

9pm. $10. With Shearwater + Hospital Ships. Johnny Brenda¹s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. 215.739.9684.

Monday, March 29

The xx
Not only is London's The xx one of the more buzzed-about bands of the moment, they've delivered a self-titled debut album nearly as sexually charged as Marvin Gaye's Let¹s Get It On, Massive Attack's Mezzanine, and Air's Moon Safari; a feat that's exceedingly rare in indie-land. Spare and elegantly arranged- with wisps of R&B, post-punk, dream-pop, and trip-hop floating in and out- the band's undeniable sensuality comes from the tension and restraint of its simple beats, plucked guitars, and feathery grooves, but even more so from the lips of singers Romy Croft and Oliver Sim, whose beguiling exhalations are simultaneously coy and carnal. If they can pull off the same live, you'll need a cold shower after this gig for sure. -Michael Alan Goldberg

8pm. Sold out. With Jj + Nosaj Thing. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. 866.468.7619. r5productions.com

Ancient Roman Battle Re-Enactors
If an Ancient Roman battle re-enactor met a Civil War battle re-enactor, who would win? Turns out the Blue and the Gray don't have the market cornered on military hobbyists who like to spend their weekends dressing up and getting bloody for the sake of history. Legion XXIV, based in Newtown Square, defends "the frontiers of Ancient Rome in the Mid-Atlantic province of Pennsylvania" with all the chain mail, plate armor, catapults and broadswords you see on Blood and Sand, but with less sex. The Legion brings the Constitution Center's Ancient Roman exhibit to vivid life. Has the Center invited representatives of the mighty Legion to explain the Roman Republican underpinnings of our American Democracy? Doubtful, but they will let you try on the armor. -P.C.

Noon. $8-$12. National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St. 866.917.1787.

Tuesday, March 30

Japandroids
Japandroids' first tour got interrupted when singer and guitarist Brian King was struck down with a potentially life-threatening perforated ulcer, but you can't keep a good man down. King and his partner, drummer and singer, David Prowse started their roll toward good fortune while King was still in recovery, earning an 8.3 and "Best New Music" from Pitchfork. Pitchfork's Ian Cohen captured the general level of enthusiasm when he called Post-Nothing "catchy music played with punk's enthusiasm and velocity." Fast-forward less than a year and Japandroid's spazzy, happy, distorted tunes are the main offering on a second tour ... this time clubs only, no hospitals. - Jennifer Kelly

7pm. $12. With Love Is All. Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. 215.634.7400. r5productions.com

Sometimes, after a tough win and a monster dunk, you just need a hug from one of your best buddies. That's the main reason why the Suns drafted Robin Lopez(notes). Yeah, he's turning into a nice center, but he's already one of the NBA's best at hugging. Best caption wins a hug pillow. Good luck.

Previously, the Nets' new starting five.

Winner, Matt: "That's right LeBron. This can be all yours...."

Runner-up, Joe: "OK here's how it works: first one to chew their arm off gets to leave New Jersey. Deal?"

Second runner-up, joshj: "Since when did a Josh Boone(notes) costume become the mascot?"

The Oh Plah! teething bracelet is an awesome new accessory that’s sure to please both mom and baby. Practical and pretty, these colorful cuffs are actually teethers in disguise! Made of medical-grade thermoplastic, they’re completely BPA-, phthalate-, PVC-, and latex-free. Plus, they’re bacteria resistant so you can feel good about taking it off your wrist and [...]

Our roundup of links: #cashgordon implosion, Microsoft loses more, Firefox's security woes and more

A quick burst of links for you to chew over, as picked by the Technology team

Want to submit a link? Tag it with "guardianista" on delicious.com and we'll have a look.

Google China: Inside the firewall, information is in short supply >> The Guardian
"using google.com.hk from the mainland last night, searches for "Tiananmen student movement" in Chinese and "89 student movement" in English brought no results – just a message that is all too familiar to internet users in China: "The connection was reset.""

A new approach to China - an update at the Offical Google Blog
"Users visiting Google.cn are now being redirected to Google.com.hk, where we are offering uncensored search in simplified Chinese, specifically designed for users in mainland China and delivered via our servers in Hong Kong," says Google.

CashGordon.com is hacked by Labour stooges >> Telegraph Blogs
Depending on how loose your definition of "hacked" and "Labour" and "stooges" is, as the commenters robustly point out: "This is a disingenuous attempt to dupe your non-techie readers into believing that evil "hackers" brought down a noble Tory initiative when the reality is that this disaster of a campaign self-imploded due to sheer incompetency." Actually, it was going so well until "incompetency".

A quick timeline on the collapse of Cash Gordon >> FluffyKittens
First they find the unmoderated hashtag, then the image include code, then Javascript injection, then redirects...

Bing Maps announces new World Wide Telescope Integration - Microsoft Channel 9 video
Microsoft shows how the WorldWide Telescope application (Silverlight client) provides real-time information in Bing Maps.

Microsoft's browser loses market share in Europe - Reuters
"According to web statistics firm Statcounter, Internet Explorer's share of all Web surfing has in March dropped in France by 2.5 percentage points from February, in Britain by 1 percentage point and in Italy by 1.3 points," says Reuters.

German Government: Don't use Firefox
Graham Cluley from Sophos on the security hole that made the German government follow up its earlier advice, Don't use IE. (Also, don't cross the road: people get killed every day.)

You can follow Guardian Technology's linkbucket on delicious

Religion writer Valerie Tarico is traveling with her husband and two teenage daughters during the first half of 2010. Missives from the Southern Cross are her occasional dispatches from the road.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read.
– Mark Twain

Image by Teemu Mäntynen via Flickr

The ability to read was sacred in my family; being a Tarico meant being a reader. I remember sulking when my parents bribed my younger sister, Kathy, with candy to get her through her first easy readers—Where was my candy? I read constantly if picture books were provided, which they were. Mom took us to the library weekly and came home with a box of picture books; thirty years later she would maintain the same ritual with Kathy’s sons, who she was raising. When I was in high school, my father suffered retinal hemorrhaging that left him with only blurry peripheral vision, 20/200 in one eye and 20/500 in the other. He was stoic, but until he got a brightly-lit magnifying glass that allowed him to scan a few lines at a time, he was lost—lost to the point that he actually instituted Days with Daddy on Saturdays with his five kids. Later, he got books on cassette from the Library for the Blind. The player let you speed them up, and over time he learned to listen at a speed that must have been close to his previous reading rate. To the rest of us it sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks. But it also sounded like life-as-normal.

Around the world, even the developing world, beautiful imported books including children’s books can be found in major cities. But most people have no access to such luxuries. John Wood, author of Leaving Microsoft to Save the World, is founder of Room to Read, a charity that partners with small communities to build and stock children’s libraries. He describes the school in rural Nepal that inspired his work. On a spontaneous visit to a highland village, he was shown the school’s library, an empty room with a locked cabinet: “My heart sank as the school’s treasure trove was revealed. A Danielle Steel romance with a couple locked in passionate and semi-clothed embrace on the front cover. A thick Umberto Eco novel, written in Italian. The Lonely Planet Guide to Mongolia. And what children’s library would be complete without Finnegan’s Wake.”

John’s experience in that Nepali school illustrates the three core problems with reading materials for literate children—and, I think, for millions of literate adults around the world:

1. The variety available is in no way sufficient to sustain an interest in reading through childhood and beyond.

Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers, talks about the “10,000 hours” effect. Getting good at anything, he says, takes practice –more than we ever imagine. He talks about thousands of hours the Beetles spent playing covers in German bars. He talks about elite athletes and musicians. Over dinner last week, we speculated about whether Brynn (age fifteen) and Marley (age 13)—had hit the 10,000 hour mark. If you count being read-to, they are astonishingly close. The problem is, 10,000 hours of reading requires 10,000 hours of interesting reading materials.

2. The grammar and vocabulary often are inaccessible for beginning or intermediate readers, especially if they are in a second language.

To get interested and stay interested in reading, you have to get lost in it. My undergraduate degree is in Spanish. I graduated with “A’s”, but after four years of study and travel to both Spain and Latin America, reading in Spanish was and still is a conscious, intentional process. It takes focus and effort to extract the narrative from the newspaper, and I can only image how much nuance I miss. As a young adult studying in Madrid, I made myself read those papers, but even then if I wanted to read for enjoyment, I had to buy novels written for young adults. Luckily, a graduated array of materials was available in local bookshops and I could choose what fit.

Back when Marley started sounding out her first Bob books at age four or five, I promised her that someday reading would be just like hearing: she would see letters on a page and the words would simply jump into her mind. She hit that point with Dr. Seuss a few months later –and Phillip Pullman in seventh grade. How many literate people ever have the opportunity or reason to hit that point?

3. It is hard to argue that the contents are anything that makes people wiser, more virtuous, or better equipped to deal with our increasingly complex world.

Let me elaborate this third point a point because I think in the end it is a far bigger challenge than the other two. The first two problems exclude people from a high quality of literacy (rather than simply a high rate) . The third says, even if they can read effortlessly, what is the point?

Reading is a conduit for information, just like movies, arts, and the spoken word, no more, no less. We elevate reading as a member of the education trinity, first of the three “r’s”: reading, writing, and as they say here in India, maths. That is because we assume reading is a means of obtaining important information about the world around us—historical information, social perspective, scientific findings, practical how-to’s for day-to-day living. But that isn’t necessarily the case.

In fact, there may be situations where literacy makes people worse off. At an individual level, women with eating disorders often find that a part of their recovery is not reading women’s magazines and pop culture rags, which perpetuate for them an impossible body image. The challenge comes because these magazines, with their demeaning cover images, are virtually the only material sold in grocery lines and drug stores. They are, ironically, the only reading material available in many doctors’ offices. To not read them requires keeping your eyes focused on the chewing gum display or the fellow patient at the counter signing away her medical privacy.

At a societal level, it has been suggested that religious fundamentalism has followed literacy around the world. Helen Keller said, “The highest result of education is tolerance.” But if these sociologists are right, literacy has actually reduced tolerance, lending its support to a more rigid form of faith based on book worship. Consider: As a set of oral traditions and rituals, religion has room to shift with the culture in which it exists. But a perfect Koran or Bible is far less flexible . In a situation where few words are written, the written word is precious and powerful. Appallingly, it is the goal of many Christian missionaries to put that perfect Bible into the hands of literate people who have little access to any other reading materials.

This is a time honored practice in Christianity. During the Irish potato famine in the 19th Century, teenage girls who had been orphaned were shipped to Australia to serve as servants and brides for the predominantly male (ex-convict) population there. Each girl’s possessions were dictated by contract and packed into a small wooden box. The list prescribed a few dresses, toiletries, a Bible and a book of prayer (which varied, depending on whether the girl was Catholic or Protestant). In the Twentieth Century, an Evangelical organization called the Summer Institute of Linguistics identified tribal people with unwritten languages and then sent missionaries to codify their languages and translate the Bible. This work continues today.

The rise of the Taliban may rest in part on a similar missionary strategy that combines literacy and ignorance. When the Soviet and American forces stopped using Afghanistan as their boxing ring, they went home and took their nonmilitary resources with them, including resources for schools. Who stepped into the void? Iran and Saudi Arabia. Generously they built schools, schools called madrassas that taught only Koran, and only to boys. Watching the results play out around the world I can’t help but be reminded of another quote from Mark Twain: It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

A pipe is only as valuable as the stuff being pumped through it. It is not just poor or marginally educated people that overrate the written word. All of us have to remind ourselves from time to time that just because something is in print it doesn’t make it real, or just because something was written a long time ago doesn’t make it particularly insightful. We have a bias to deify the words of our ancestors, forgetting the human process that wrestled them into existence. Americans speak of the constitution, for example, as if it were beyond question. Many Christians literally worship the Bible—giving it attributes of Divinity such as perfection and timelessness. In Afghanistan the Taliban outlawed recycled paper on the grounds that it might contain some small fragment of a paper that once had been part of a Koran.

So, imagine a situation where Bibles or Korans (perhaps with a counterbalance of pop culture schlock and ads) are literally the only written texts around. Imagine, too, that schools are virtually all in the hands of sectarian interests, and that most other printing presses are in the hands of the vast multinational multi-corporate sales force: PepsiCo (the written word tells me) is working to ensure that local people have free flowing natural water for future generations—not—like I had mistakenly thought—to ensure that drinking water requires plastic bottles and fossil fuel transport and produces profits in New York. Indian people actually are white, not brown, (it’s right there in print) and Ponds lightening cream can help to reveal the naturally fair color that is being hidden by that ugly dark surface layer of skin. Jesus saves; I read it on the front of an auto-rickshaw---one of the ones that didn’t have beautiful Arabic and a beautiful scimitar printed on the back.

I oversimplify, as always. But the reality that hits home in Tamil Nadu and even in Kerala (where the literacy rate tops ninety percent) is that literacy isn’t worth much if the vistas it opens up are a wasteland of Middle Eastern tribalism and Western gluttony. The ability to read, poorly or well, is a pipeline, constricted or free-flowing. Either way, a pipe is only as valuable as the stuff being pumped through it. Some contain black gold. Others contain sewage.

What is the solution? It cannot be to recreate the North American or European system in which billions of trees become leather bound classics, Tom Clancy thrillers, glamour magazines, and tabloids—or even self help books, scientific journals, poetry, and nuggets of timeless wisdom from Valerie Tarico. Our planetary life support system cannot afford it. In the ten years between the last two census counts, India’s population increased by twenty percent. The tree cover, as you might suspect, did not. The native forests are mostly gone to farm land and badlands – and to dusty groves of Australian eucalyptus planted by people in need of quick growing firewood.

So what is the next step? I think we have to begin by asking questions about content before we ask questions about technology. What if the reality-based community took “books”, including the next generation of communications technology, as seriously as the Gideons do? (I found Gideon Bibles in Fiji, Australia, Singapore and India in the last six weeks—in short, in every country we have passed through.) What is the collection of writings we would want in every hotel room or around the world? What information would we want to give the people of Haiti (instead of solar-powered Bibles like the ones that were sent after the recent earthquake)? What would it mean to be as devoted to education as the Saudis or Jesuits have been? What if we, rather than the Wahabis had rushed into Afghanistan with books and curriculum plans when the cold war ended?

A young American, Neil Mellen, was enrolled in a Virginia military academy when he made national news by refusing to pray to a god that he, an atheist, didn’t believe in. Neil is very clear about his values. After graduating, he joined the Peace Corps and like John Wood of Room to Read began building libraries for children by soliciting used books from family and friends. John’s passion has become a full time endeavor, an international NGO with programs across Asia and Africa. Neil’s has stayed personal. After returning to the U.S. he founded Habele, a small nonprofit that pays secondary school tuition for students living on Micronesia’s outer islands. The best schools he can find within reach—and he pays for them—are Christian schools that sell Neil’s kids a supernaturalism he doesn’t believe in. Neil is very clear about his priorities. Why doesn’t he have other options?

Our ‘Idol Meter’ is running; Siobhan is the one to watch

After Lacey Brown’s departure last week, the remaining 11 Idol contestants can be characterized as the Final Four and the Seven Dwarfs.

The gap in talent and originality is as vast as the distance between Paula Abdul’s unmissed incoherence and new judge Ellen DeGeneres’ sly, pithy wit.

We’ll get to Final Four star Casey James next week, but here’s a quick look at this season’s other three front-runners.

USA Today

‘American Idol’: Catching up With 13 Former Contestants!

Find out who’s pregnant, who’s getting naked (in public!), and who just filmed a part in a Farrelly Bros. movie.

TAMYRA GRAY – Season 1, fourth place

She’s faced the judges’ criticism on Idol, booked TV gigs on shows like Boston Public and What I Like About You, and graced the silver screen in 2008’s Rachel Getting Married. But despite all that, Gray is 23 weeks into what she calls the hardest job she’s ever had: being pregnant. ”Idol is a piece of cake compared to this,” says Gray, breaking the news exclusively to EW. It’s been a tough first trimester, but Gray is nonetheless excited to be expecting her first child with music producer husband (and former Color Me Badd member) Sam Watters.

Entertainment Weekly

More Headlines after the jump…keep checking back for more

Fantasy ‘Idol’: Big Star night

Like many longtime music journalists, I mourned the death of power pop pioneer Alex Chilton last week. He was the frontman of Big Star, one of the most underappreciated bands of the 1970s whose musical legacy far outlasted their album-making years. Anyone who claims affection toward indie rock should know Big Star’s catalog inside and out, and there’s nary a dud to be found.

LA Times

How to watch American Idol: A primer

If you accept that American Idol is a TV show first and a singing competition second, you’ll be well on your way to predicting the outcome in any given week.

Some Idol watchers have even reduced it to a science. They study voting patterns in certain regions, gauge population densities and ascertain behavioural habits, based on common sense and past voting history.

Canada.com

Idol Inferno: The Meaning of the Miley Mentorship

Some quick reactions to the stunning news that none other than herself, Miley Cyrus (not Smiley Virus) will be mentoring the Idol contestants this week. Some out there have been mocking this news. I however am all for it. Here are my reasons, and my ruminations on the fallout to come when Miley visits the Idoldome :

Entertainment Inferno

Talent? What talent? ‘Idol’ is lousy this season

As anyone who’s actually followed the competition so far this season already knows, this band of mostly mediocre singers fails to represent the best of their own so-so early ranks, much less the best of the national talent pool. And despite the handy excuses Simon Cowell and his fellow judges insist on making for them week after week, the problem isn’t about song selection or a particular vocalist’s need to find his or herself musically. It’s not about being “a little pitchy” or having an “off night,” either.

MSNBC

Lacey Brown on the End of Her ‘American Idol’ Journey

When Lacey Brown was in the bottom two with Paige Miles on last week’s “American Idol” results show, the red-headed singer reassured Paige that she had nothing to worry about.

“I just woke up that morning and I had the weirdest feeling that I was going home that night,” Lacey tells ET. “I hadn’t heard anything or read anything. I just felt, ‘Today is the day I am going home.’ I wasn’t comfortable with that feeling. I wasn’t depressed. I had heard past contestants say that, but I didn’t believe them.”

ET Online

The strange saga of the West Virginia Lady Gaga-Adam Lambert concert . . . that wasn’t

So it was probably no surprise that it all unraveled this weekend. Lambert, the “American Idol” runner-up, put out a denial on Twitter: “Unfortunately totally untrue. Hate that u guys were taken advantage of.” Gaga’s reps scoffed at the notion to TMZ. And the organizer of the alleged concert, Luke Loy, posted signs on his salon door and outgoing voice mail that ticket sales had been halted — and then promptly made himself unavailable for comment.

It was a sharp turn from a few days earlier when Loy had been prominently featured in the Martinsburg Journal talking up his too-good-to-be-true plan to bring Gaga and Lambert to the county park in Shenandoah Junction, brandishing contracts that he told a reporter proved it was for real. “I want people to know it’s unbelievable, but it can happen. I can bring her here. Anything is possible.” He told the paper he hoped to sell 15,000 tickets at $100 a piece; he drew calls from all over the country. (He also took the opportunity to talk up his new coconut-scented, enviro-friendly and color-safe hair products.)

Washington Post

Whisky helped bring me together with Lady Gaga, reveals American Idol star Adam Lambert

AMERICAN Idol runner-up Adam Lambert yesterday told how he bonded with his hero Lady Gaga – thanks to a love of whisky.

The singer, who received a standing ovation from judge Simon Cowell on the US show, has been described as the male equivalent of Gaga.

Yesterday, he jetted into Scotland on a whistle-stop tour to promote his new album and was delighted to strap on a 21st-century kilt for the Razz.

He said of his spiky sporran: “It’s like having a cactus – a little pet cactus.

“I’m not a true Scotsman today because I’ve teamed up the kilt with some plaid leggings – but I’d like to wear this back home in the US too.”

Daily Record.co.uk

Music and image equally important to Adam Lambert

SINGAPORE : Adam Lambert was American Idol’s most flamboyant contestant to date and is no stranger to controversy.

The hot favourite to win the eighth season of the popular reality show – he eventually lost the title to Kris Allen – the glamrocker won the hearts of many fans.

Perhaps it’s his showmanship or the stage theatrics – who can forget his racy performance at last year’s American Music Awards where he kissed a male keyboardist and simulated sexual movements while performing a risque version of his song “For Your Entertainment” – or the “guyliner” that he uses so generously to create his signature smoky eye look.

“I think it is really important to carve out your niche and have your ‘thing’,” Lambert, 28, told Primetime Morning two weeks ago when he was in town for a showcase.

Channel News Asia

Matt Giraud Tells Us About It

As Season 8’s Matt Giraud was in the car on the way to Nashville to record his new single, “4 AM,” he opened up to us about his recent Idol performance and what he’s been working on these days. Matt performed Billy Joel’s “Tell Her About It” with fellow Season 8 finalist Scott MacIntyre on Season 9’s Top 16 results show. The piano player from Kalamazoo, Michigan said, “It was amazing. It’s nice to be asked back and it feels cool to come back. I’ve been around the block now. It felt really good and I liked the whole not being judged part.”

American Idol.com

Danny Gokey: I Want To Do Country ‘For The Rest Of My Life’

Fueled by a return performance on “American Idol,” Danny Gokey bowed at No. 3 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart with his 19 Recordings/RCA Records debut, “My Best Days.” Coming in at No. 4 on the Billboard 200, the album sold 65,000 first-week copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan, giving him the best opening-week sales by a debut country male since 1992.

With more than 19,000 downloads, Gokey also notches the best first-week digital album sales by a debut country artist. The March 2 release is No. 4 on this week’s chart.

Billboard.com

Underwood soars above DCU crowd

WORCESTER — A flying truck, a virtual duet with Randy Travis and more costume changes than you can count. No, this is not what Obama promised the Republicans if they voted for his health care package, but what Carrie Underwood delivered to the sold-out crowd Sunday at the DCU Center.

Going from “American Idol” winner to multi-platinum recording artist, Underwood has already proven she can deliver honky-tonk heartache with the best of them. And last night during her 23-song set (which included 10 songs from her latest, “Play On” and a two-song encore), the 27-year-old Oklahoma native proved she is no longer a country bumpkin but a bona fide superstar and seasoned professional.

Telegram.com

Concert Review: Daughtry – Prudential Center, Newark, NJ – 3/21/10

Four years ago, when Chris Daughtry first appeared on Season 5 of American Idol, I have to be honest and admit that I wasn’t thoroughly impressed. Perhaps I was blindsided by my personal favorites, Katharine McPhee and Paris Bennett, or exhausted from celebrating the previous successes of my other fellow North Carolinians, Clay Aiken and Fantasia Barrino, but one thing is certain: Daughtry has made a new fan out of me.

On Sunday, March 21, my best friend and I trekked to Newark in order to get some sense of all the fuss surrounding Idol’s third-biggest-selling act — only Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood have fared better — as the band played the Prudential Center. The last time Daughtry performed there was in 2008 — opening for Bon Jovi, who christened the then-new arena, the first such venue to be built in the New York/Jersey area in 25 years, with a 10-night stand — and their fans eagerly awaited their return.

Blogcritics.org

Daughtry (Prudential Center, Newark, N.J.; 17,625 capacity; $42.50 top)

The chasm between the coasts and so-called fly-over country is pronounced in many media, but nowhere is it more apparent than in the world of pop music — where acts who sell out sheds and dominate radio airwaves in middle America often don’t bother scheduling gigs in the New York City area.

Daughtry (fronted by “American Idol” finalist Chris Daughtry), decided to eschew that wisdom on its current tour, and judging by the response at the first of its two metro-area shows Sunday night, there’s at least a bit of an appetite for heartland rock in the vicinity.

Variety.com

Fantasia to perform at WrestleMania XXVI in Glendale

Fantasia will open WrestleMania this Sunday in Glendale.

The R&B artist and former “American Idol ” winner will sing “America the Beautiful.”

She follows the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger, who performed at last year’s WrestleMania in Houston. Other past show-openers have included Aretha Franklin, John Legend and Ashanti.

The live wrestling pay-per-view event starts 4 p.m. Sunday March 28 at University of Phoenix Stadium.

AZCentral.com

Anoop Desai next charity bartender at Durham’s Revolution

American Idol finalist Anoop Desai, a Chapel Hill native, will be the next guest bartender at downtown Durham’s Revolution restaurant and bar. Desai will be mixing cocktails for charity from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Tues., April 6, according to a news release.

Twenty percent of the proceeds during Desai’s two-hour shift will go to the Eve Carson Memorial Fund. Desai is a graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill, where Carson was student body president when she was killed two years ago. Revolution started its “Guest Mixologist” monthly fundraiser, which has featured Mayor Bill Bell and other local leaders, this year. So far, the program has raised almost $2,500 for charity, said spokeswoman Teresa Anile.

Indy Week Blogs

Bucky Covington – “A Father’s Love (The Only Way He Knew How)”

Songwriters: Liz Hengber, Thom Shepherd & Steve Williams.

American Idol can be a cruel mistress. While there are are a few people, like Carrie Underwood, who have gone on to win the hearts and wallets of millions, there are many more, like Taylor Hicks, who have gone on to fill the bargain bins of big-box electronics stores. Bucky Covington falls somewhere in between–while he scored three Top 10 hits from his debut album, his last two singles haven’t fared nearly as well. And after a Nickelback cover flopped (thank goodness for small favors) he’s taking the radical step of releasing an actual country song as a single.

the9513.com

‘Dancing With The Stars’ Returns With Plenty Of Talent And Tears

Astronauts, athletes, actresses and more — if nothing else, the cast for the 10th season of “Dancing With the Stars” is diverse, and thankfully, they’re also filled with plenty of promise, judging by their first performances in a season premiere filled with laughs, tears and dropped jaws.

Kicking the season off was NFL star Chad Ochocinco and partner Cheryl Burke with the cha-cha-cha, a dance Burke described as “fun and flirty, just like [Ochocinco].”

MTV

‘Dancing’ kicks off strong with clear favorites

After 10 seasons, it’s surprisingly easy to see the way a season of “Dancing With the Stars” is going to shake out. Once you’ve seen everyone dance one time, you can start to separate them into the favorites, the mushy middle and the total cannon fodder that will be unceremoniously booted in whatever order the fans deem appropriate. It doesn’t correlate perfectly with judges’ scores because fans will do what fans will do, as 10 seasons of this show have demonstrated.

MSNBC

WE ARE THE FALLEN: The KERRANG! Interview – Mar. 23, 2010

John LeCompt (guitar) “American Idol” powerhouse vocalist Carly Smithson of WE ARE THE FALLEN popped into the Kerrang! magazine office on Monday, March 22 to talk about their upcoming album, “Tear The World Down”, and their debut gig in London. Watch the chat below.

WE ARE THE FALLEN — the new band featuring original EVANESCENCE members Ben Moody (guitar), LeCompt and Rocky Gray (drums) along with Smithson — will release its debut album, “Tear The World Down”, on May 11 via Universal Republic Records. The group’s first single, “Bury Me Alive”, was made available exclusively via the digital domain in early February. A second track, “Without You”, is currently being streamed on the band’s official web site.

RoadRunnerRecords

 
    

Sometime last week I was sitting next to a man reading his morning Ottawa Sun paper when he raised both his hands, cramped them into a fistfull of knuckles and rubbed his eyes.

"Hot sunshine girl?", I asked.

"Nah, just can't get used to the sight of Alex Kovalev in Ottawa colours. Thought my eyes were playing tricks on me!'

So there you have it......an article is born!

I've often had the same thoughts. Seeing some longtime Habs favorites in another uniform than the one they looked so well suited for has always made me want to chew on skate leather and spit. Kovalev is no mild exception.

Here's a dozen or so such cases over the years, from recent to vintage, to make you cringe, laugh or cry.

Saku Koivu in a Ducks jersey is pure eyesore, made only slightly less repulsive by the luck that it isn't a Mighty Ducks quack mask logo on his chest. Koivu's free agent destination of choice is explained by the presence of countryman and newly crowned 600 goal scorer Teemu Selanne. Still, this one hurts, as Saku is one former Hab that never should have donned another sweater. Montreal fans had only recently got to see him face his former team two weeks back, and we're disappointed when he was not included in the shootout specialists at game's end. A part of me, a small part, wanted to see Saku stick it to his former mates.

This one is a giggler now, but was hardly a knee slapper on July 1, 2009. The defecting commie, er Komi, had chosen the Leafs! Yikes, and yucks. Now it's just good ol' yuk yuks, as time has proven how suitable Mike Komisarek is to the drab blue and white duds. And when I say "duds" I mean "duds."

Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion is one of six 50 goal scorers in Montreal Canadiens history, and the first of five to don rival colours. Boomer retired from the Habs in 1964, a little unpleased at being forceably retired. Legend has it that he was promised a coaching position in the organization following his retirement. When that didn't pan out, he made a return to the NHL with the Rangers, in a player / coach role. The Broadway Blueshirts seemed for a while to be the desination of destiny for exiled ex-Habs, as defenseman Doug Harvey and goalie Jacques Plante, legends both, enjoyed brief revilals in Gotham. In time, two more 50 goal scoring Habs would follow Boomer's path.

 

Upon the creation of the WHA in the early 1970's, a quator of former Habs made the jump to the new league's Quebec Nordiques over the course of the new rings first few seasons. The losses of Mark Tardif, J.C. Tremblay and Rejean Houle stung somewhat, as Habs GM Sam Pollock lost assets due to his bookeeping priorities. On paper, the Habs hardly suffered, and Houle made amends by returning a few short years later to participate in another Cup run. Did anyone miss Dale Hoganson's carrot top Beatle-do fitting into a Habs casque? Kinda yucky on the Nords early rags. It would get worse a decade and a half later.

 

Pete Mahovlich, laid back and funloving, was an inconsistent thorn in coach Scotty Bowman's side nearing the late seventies. A favorite whipping boy of the coach, it was somewhat inconceivable that Montreal would depart with a player who set a team record 82 assists just a few seasons before. Due to Mahovlich's slipping points total and Jacques Lemaire fullfilling duties between Guy Lafleur and Steve Shutt quite admirably, the "Little M" became expendable, especially when the brilliant Pittsburgh Penguins offered up and coming 50 goal man Pierre Larouche for the services of a declining Pete. Mahovlich, who knew a good joke when he cracked one, likely didn't find it too humourous to go from the sad sack Pens to the sadder sacked Red Wings upon being cut from Pittsburgh two years later. Neverthless, I find this version of the Penguins colours quite attractive for some odd reason. Pete must have looked down onto his chest and riffled off a few one liners in that one.

   

Several other Habs from the '70's dynasty were on their final legs into the early to mid eighties. Steve Shutt was treated with a lot more dignity than some others, kind of, when he asked for and received a trade wish to the Los Angeles Kings. The seldom used Shutt was dealt to L.A. for future considerations that became himself at season's end, as per his second wish, to retire a Hab. Shutt, the owner of a contagious machine gun giggle, must burst into full out guffaws when looking back at shots of himself in a yellow helmet. This is almost as unsightly as it gets!

Perhaps no player was purged from Habs history in quite the dramatic fashion that Guy Lafleur was in 1984. The Flower was no longer the player of his glory days, but was a consistent 30 goal threat until Serge Savard and Jacques Lemaire reduced his role on the club to about eight minutes a game. It was a sad and terribly painful episode to watch, made all the more so by fact that it was grossly unneccessary.

With his fans behind him, Lafleur's revenge took place on Forum ice some four years later in New York Ranger colours. No one who's seen that game, in person or on television, will ever forget. The Flower owned out hearts. That changed for many of us when he slipped inside the skanky colours of the hated Nordiques. The greasy scheme team is not where Lafleur's final strides should have taken place.

Had Jacques Plante not been ill and away from practice one day early in the 1950's, legend has it that he would have been signed on that fateful day by the Detroit Red Wings, who came to Quebec and left with Marcel's Pronovost and Bonin. Nonethless, Plante would eventually don the colours of the NHL's five other Original Six franchises in due time.

Of course, the man who changed the face of hockey and brought goaltending into an art form, made his mark and lasting impression with the CH. The trouble was, Plante had more personal idiosyncrasies than facial scars, and had worn out his welcome with coach Toe Blake by 1964. A shocking trade first sent Plante to the Rangers, where he looked every bit the washed up warrior. After a brief retirement, Plante revived his game and legends with stellar seasons in St. Louis Blues' colours, where he looked damned good. Those performances launched Jake the Snake into a journeyman's twilight, with successive appearance with the Maple Leafs (cringe, accordingly), the Bruins and finally the WHA Edmonton Oranges. Despite the juicy colours, Plante still maintained the assured look of professor of the position. Unfortunately, his 1964 sacking was but a prelude as to what the Canadiens would do with a franchise goaltender. 

 

Now if an entire top line on a team can be dispatched elsewhere over time, the same fate would surely befall the Habs' "Big Three" blueliners, Guy Lapointe, Serge Savard and Larry Robinson. Unthinkable, well perhaps not!

Lapointe was the first to go, after two seasons in Montreal replete with injuries in which he'd scored only one goal in each, Pointu was pointed towards St. Louis. Serge Savard, longtime blueline general with the Habs had won eight Stanley Cups and numerous accolades with the team. That, unfortunately, did not spare him from the Forum boo-birds in the final stages of a glorious career. Those sounds told Savard that it was time. A little more than a season later, good buddy John Ferguson relentlessly pursued the great defender, getting him to suit up with the Winnipeg Jets. The addition of Savard helped key a turnaround in Jets fortunes, and enabled Savard to cap a highly respected career with a much more dignity. Still, though, doesn't that Savard O-Pee-Chee card just leap off the page. I mean the colours are almost right, just in the wrong order. Hey, at least he never became a Ranger!

Robinson's fate, that of being dealt to the Kings, came via the Savard himself, who decided to play hardball with the Big Bird in contract talks. In Robinson's account, several promises were reneged upon by his former partner, prompting Larry to seek free agency, with compensation. Robinson in a Kings jersey, albeit a more classic one than Shutt wore, was still an unpleasanr sight. He is another in a long line of Habs greats that deserved retirement in the colours he became a legend in.

Lapointe, Savard and Robinson were far from the first Habs heroes booed out of Montreal. When speaking of Habs tradition, this is one as old as the team itself. The treatment lead to the dumping of the clubs first two great stars, Newsy Lalonde and Howie Morenz.

Lalonde had been everpresent on the Canadiens since the club's first game in January of 1910. He'd accomplished everything possible in the game over the years, often as the team's captain and coach. By 1922, the 35 year old Newsy was slowing, and murmurs were being heard from the crowd. As Lalonde had a reputation for turning it off and on, his effort was questioned by management. Newsy retalliated akin to his moniker, by publishing in the dailies his letter of response to such accusations and announcing that he was quitting the team on principle. The public outcry led to a brief patching of wounds, but the oldtimer was gone by the following campaign, sent west to the Saskatoon Crescents armed with hockey's richest ever contract. Lalonde trade dividends were lofty: the deal returned star Aurele Joliat to the Habs and a few seasons later, the highly respected Lalonde advised Montreal that teammate George Hainsworth would be a suitable replacement for goalie Georges Vezina.

The Stratford Streak was winding down a legendary career as the game's greatest ever talent in 1934 when the Forum fuddlers began to rag. It so pained Canadiens GM Leo Dandurand that he felt he was practically doing Howie a favour by trading him to where he would be better appreciated. Morenz played well with the Chicago Black Hawks at first, but as time passed, the fit was not a good one. Off to the Rangers Morenz was dealt, and little good did it due anyone. As Morenz proceeded to find himself a lion in lamb cloth, a clammor was building in Montreal for Morenz's return. As Habs' coach Cecil Hart was about to begin a second stint behind the Canadiens' bench, he made the reacquisition of Morenz a conditional term. The return of Howie to Aurele Joliat's side prompted a Habs' revival that was unfortunately cut short by his untimely death as the result of a brutal leg injury suffered in a game at the Forum. To suggest that the tragedy shocked the hockey world is putting it mildly. A funeral on Forum ice capped an era in the most sudden of manners.

Another era was capped in December 1995, on a day Habs fans still dread recalling. No need to reindulge in the painful details, other than to add that events conspired to oust goalie legend-in-the-making Patrick Roy from Habland. As a Colorado Avalache member, Roy contunued to reach peaks foretold in the clubs' logo. To this day, he is one of the very few former Habs traded away who have gone on to Stanley Cup glory.

Can we at least be thankful that timing did not allow it to occur in Nordique colours.

When the Canadiens traded steady two-way centerman Jacques Lemaire to the Buffalo Sabres fans were in a state of.....er, wait, scratch that one.

Were you perhaps caught off guard as I was, upon opening a pack of O-Pee-Chee hockey cards in the mid 1970's and finding that atrocity. I opened mine in the school yard at lunch break, freaked out, and ran home to ask my father "what the ..."

What occured to produce this historically incorrect card, was a rumourm sending Lemaire to Buffalo for Richard Martin. I remember hearing that one shot down, but apparently someone at the card company jumped the gun, just a tad!

If you're curious about hockey card misprints, outright goofs and simple printing and spelling errors, check out this take from Kevin at Ya! The Habs Rule. I discovered a bunch from it.

Finally, not to make anyone wretch or anything, comes this unique newspaper clip from February 1949. Yup, it is exactly what it looks like, perhaps the very first photoshop and a prank on Habs fans courtesy of Toronto Globe and Mail newspaper - Maurice the Rocket in the absolutely, never looked uglier, tablecloths of the dreaded "make believes."

And yes, they did dream on!

This particular composite I made comes from Le Petit Journal, dated February 6, 1949, with the blueish photo being scanned from the pages of the 1998 book La Glorieuse Histoire des Canadiens.

The origin of the not too funny lark has it that the Maple Leafs' Conn Smythe thought they could and would offer the Canadiens a wadload of cash for the Rocket. The Globe got to thinking of what Richard would have looked like in the jersey, and cropped his head onto a Leafs' sweater.

Nice try! Habs GM Frank Selke quickly informed his former employers something akin to "Nah! Ain't gonna happen for all the gold in the world!"

Initially, as the story goes, shockwaves were sent through Habs fandom, thus neccessitating the Selke retort.

Makes you wonder if someone in Toronto got wind that Roch Carrier would one day write The Sweater!

After all the unsightliness displayed above, thankfully history spared us this one!

Lalonde would win a final scoring title with the WCHL Crescents returning to the NHL in 1927 as coach of the forever terrible New York Americans. On one particular fateful evening, the Americans were short a few players, prompting the 40 year old Newsy to dress one last time in stars and stripes. The image, due to the rarety of photos from the day, is the most lasting of Newsy, and also the most non-representative of his career.

Non-OPEC Oil Production Hits the Wall

In the last year I’ve read several articles expounding on the many non-OPEC oil discoveries that have been made in recent years and how large the oil resource is within the non-OPEC sphere of the world. The objective of these articles is to reassure the reader that all is well for non-OPEC oil production, now and in the foreseeable future. If all is so well outside OPEC, one must ask why the non-OPEC oil production rate has not exceeded the level achieved in 2004 in spite of the elevated price of oil since then.

Invitation to an Energy Crisis

DALLAS – As rising consumption and nationalism in OPEC countries pushes down their crude-oil exports and forces international oil companies to invest in high-cost areas with small reserves as global demand continues to grow, oil prices might ultimately shatter the record set in 2008. In the short run, heightened volatility will be the rule, owing to economic, political, natural, and technical factors. One has only to examine the recent past to see why.

While speculators can affect prices in the short run and increase price volatility, market fundamentals and government actions explain the spectacular rise in oil prices between 2003 and mid-2008. During this period, world oil demand increased, mostly in developing countries, while production remained relatively flat from 2005 to 2008. The only way to meet growing demand was to use OPEC’s spare capacity and commercial inventories. Once spare capacity vanished and commercial inventories declined to critical levels relative to estimated future demand, oil prices started to break record after record.

Schlumberger 'may miss Wall St targets'

Schlumberger's chief executive Andrew Gould said today the oilfield services giant will have difficulty meeting Wall Street profit forecasts this year, adding that rising natural gas drilling in North America will not lead to "satisfactory returns" this year.

Enbridge plans gas pipeline in midwest U.S.

Enbridge Inc., a leading Canadian energy provider, said Monday it will build a new natural gas liquids pipeline to tap into markets in the midwestern United States.

The new line will move the fuel from the Marcellus Shale in Southern Pennsylvania to existing facilities in the Chicago area, the company said in a release.

China expects 5% growth of net oil import in 2010

BEIJING - China's net oil imports are expected to total 210 million tons this year, National Energy Administration (NEA) said Monday.

The volume would be about 11 million tons, or 5.5 percent, higher that last year, said Huang Li, vice director of Energy Saving and Science Equipment Department, NEA.

Raymond J. Learsy: The New York Times Continues Its Fawning Coverage of Saudi Oil Policies

Once again in its inimical fashion the New York Times, in a an article "China's Rapid Growth Shifts the Geopolitics of Oil'' 3.20.10 instructs us, as is their wont, on the exemplary policies of Saudi Arabia on matters oil.

Oil prices stay high despite State order

The cost of petroleum products remains high in most parts of Western Kenya despite a government directive to marketers to reduce oil prices.

'Energy crisis damaging industries'

LAHORE (APP) - Accusing former president Gen (r) Pervez Musharraf for the prevailing energy crisis, Federal Minister for Commerce Makhdoom Amin Fahim has that the loadshedding was resulting in huge problems in the industrial sector.

Talking to newsmen at Aibak Polo Ground, he quoted Federal Minister for Water and Power Raja Pervez Ashraf, saying form April 15 onwards the power outages would reduce significantly.

Nuclear energy on the table for Pakistan?

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan, March 22 (UPI) -- Washington may consider a civilian nuclear energy package for Pakistan at a major bilateral conference scheduled for the end of the week, U.S. officials said.

Pakistan is on the verge of a major energy crisis. Energy officials said recently that the national energy grid faced shortfalls of more than 4,000 megawatts during peak hours, leaving several parts of the country prone to blackouts.

Jordan follows UAE nuclear lead

Jordan is likely to become the next Arab state after the UAE to sign a contract to build civilian nuclear reactors, one of the region’s top energy officials said yesterday.

A number of Arab countries, including Kuwait and Egypt, have begun the long process of planning for nuclear plants, but Jordan has made the most progress, said Dr Adnan Shihab-Eldin, the secretary general of the Kuwait National Nuclear Energy Committee.

Chrysler to make electric Fiat 500

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Chrysler Group announced Monday that it plans to produce a purely electric version of the iconic Fiat 500 minicar.

Cyprus ‘to run out of drinking water’

Cyprus is predicted to become the first part of the European Union to run out of water. A spokesman at the EU Commission said the Mediterranean island was Europe’s ‘front line’ in the war against diminishing water resources.

Divided by war in 1974, the former British colony has been consumed by the rivalry between Greek and Turkish Cypriots. The generation-old conflict has obscured the environmental disaster that has empty reservoirs, led to water rationing and is killing the island’s ecosystem.

The Secret of Sea Level Rise: It Will Vary Greatly by Region

As the world warms, sea levels could easily rise three to six feet this century. But increases will vary widely by region, with prevailing winds, powerful ocean currents, and even the gravitational pull of the polar ice sheets determining whether some coastal areas will be inundated while others stay dry.

Wind Energy Investment of $65 Billion May Curb Fossil Fuel Use

(Bloomberg) -- China WindPower Group Ltd., Iberdrola SA and Duke Energy Corp. will lead development of an estimated $65 billion of wind-power plants this year that let utilities reduce their reliance on fossil fuels.

The estimate from Bloomberg New Energy Finance assumes a 9 percent increase in global installations of wind turbines this year, adding as much as 41 gigawatts of generation capacity. That’s the equivalent of 34 new nuclear power stations.

Utilities that built natural gas-fired generators during the last decade are increasingly erecting turbines and buying wind power from competitors, tapping a renewable-energy source as governments consider ways to penalize carbon-based fuels.

Oil Falls to Three-Week Low on Concern Demand Rebound May Stall

(Bloomberg) -- Crude oil fell to a three-week low in New York on concern governments around the world may follow India in raising interest rates, damping the recovery in global fuel demand.

Oil dropped a third day as the U.S. dollar traded near a three-week high against the euro, dimming the appeal of commodities for hedging against inflation. The commodity plunged 1.9 percent on March 19 after India unexpectedly raised rates. The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries has spare production capacity in excess of 6 million barrels per day, its president said.

“Immediate oil market fundamentals haven’t justified gains beyond $80,” said Andrey Kryuchenkov, a VTB Capital analyst in London. “Until seasonal demand picks up and reduces the stockpile overhang, we’ll keep trading on external factors such as the dollar and concerns over eventual monetary tightening.”

OPEC's Business Model: Sit Back and Let the Money Flow In

OPEC, producer of about 40% of the world's oil, is once again in the catbird seat, once again. Now, you're probably thinking, "When hasn't OPEC been in the catbird seat?"

True, when you're sitting on a considerable portion of the modern world's most important commodity, it's hard to ever argue that the deck is stacked against you, but these are especially advantageous times for OPEC.

Russian crude won't hit Mideast prices to Asia - Qatar

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Russian crude exports to the Pacific will not hurt prices of Middle Eastern crude sold to Asia, Qatar Oil Minister Abdullah al-Attiyah said on Monday.

His comments echo what the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) members, including top exporter Saudi Arabia, said last week.

Russia started selling its new ESPO Blend crude from the Far East port of Kozmino from late 2009, a first step towards expanding its exports into Asian markets.

Petrobras May Boost Investment by 26% to Focus on Offshore Oil

(Bloomberg) -- Petroleo Brasileiro SA, Brazil’s state-run oil producer, aims to boost its spending plan by as much as 26 percent as it focuses on developing the Americas’ largest discovery in three decades and other offshore deposits.

Shell, PetroChina Win Arrow With Sweetened $3.2 Billion Offer

(Bloomberg) -- Royal Dutch Shell Plc and PetroChina Co. agreed to buy Arrow Energy Ltd. after increasing their offer to A$3.5 billion ($3.2 billion), marking China’s entry to Australia’s coal-seam gas industry.

Shell and PetroChina will pay A$4.70 cash a share for Arrow’s Australian business, the Brisbane-based company said today. The price was raised from A$4.45 and is 35 percent above the stock’s level before the initial bid was reported March 8. Investors will also get shares in a new company holding Arrow’s gas assets in China, Indonesia, India and Vietnam, which may be worth as much as A$400 million, according to analysts.

China commercial crude stocks up 5.2 pct in Feb - OGP

BEIJING (Reuters) - China's commercial crude oil inventories rose 5.2 percent in February over January to 28.2 million tonnes, China OGP reported on Monday.

China imports less Iranian oil, defying demand jump

BEIJING - China’s imports of Iranian crude oil shrank by nearly 40 percent in the first two months of 2010, compared to the same time last year, despite the Asian economy’s expanding hunger for foreign oil.

Chinese customs data issued on Monday showed Iran, which was China’s third biggest foreign supplier of crude oil last year, slipped to fourth behind Russia in the first two months of 2010.

Iran shipped 2.53 million metric tonnes of crude to China, a fall of 37.2 percent compared to the first two months of 2009.

Qatar to up LNG supply to India to 11.5 mln tonnes

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Qatar plans to raise its supply of Liquefied Natural Gas to India to 11.5 million tonnes from 2014, against the current 7.5 million tonnes a year, its oil minister Abdullah al-Attiyah said in New Delhi on Sunday.

He said Qatar currently produces 62 million tonnes of LNG and from October it will be raised to 77 million tonnes.

PetroChina, Shell to Export 8 Million Tons/Yr of LNG from Curtis

(Bloomberg) -- PetroChina Co. and Royal Dutch Shell Plc plan to export up to 8 million tons per year of LNG from the proposed Curtis Island plant in Australia, the Chinese company’s project manager, Aiji Ge, said in a statement today.

Ukraine to send team to Moscow for gas talks

KIEV (Reuters) - A Ukrainian delegation will travel to Moscow on Tuesday to discuss a gas agreement between the two countries, the energy ministry and the state energy company Naftogaz said.

The visit will be the first attempt by the new leadership of President Viktor Yanukovich to get a revision of what the Ukrainians say are onerous prices for Russian natural gas.

BHP Coal Terminal Damaged by Cyclone, Stays Shut

(Bloomberg) -- BHP Billiton Ltd., the world’s biggest mining company, said its Hay Point Coal terminal in Australia was damaged at the weekend and remains shut after being hit by a cyclone that also closed mines.

“Assessments will be undertaken to determine the extent of repairs required and likely timeframes to recommence operations,” BHP said today in an e-mailed statement. Some northern coal mines suspended operations, it said, without identifying them.

Fossil fuel money ‘could fund bank’

A new green-energy bank should be created out of the as yet unspent £200million Scottish fossil fuel levy fund, industry body Scottish Renewables said.

The fund is contributed to by suppliers of electricity from non-renewable energy sources and is ring-fenced for green-energy projects.

It remains unused due to wrangling between Holyrood and Westminster.

Choose subsistence before oil

If you look at oil and gas development, the roads and pipelines into the Yukon Flats would only destroy our traditional way of life and the renewable resources that support that way of life. Once the oil is gone, we will be left with a big mess and polluted ecosystem. Our subsistence resources will be undermined; what then? Doyon can find other economic opportunities without destroying the land that is fundamental to our traditions, culture and subsistence way of life. Let’s look seriously at renewable energy options.

Jim Rogers Says a Eurozone of 10 Members Would Be a “Wonderful Thing”

High energy prices are here to stay. The experts know that known reserves are declining at a steady rate. In 25 years there will be no oil for anyone at any price. There could be ups and downs in the price along the way, if for example the UK goes bankrupt. In a decade, the price will be much, much higher though.

The pound sterling’s outlook is not good. North Sea oil is drying up. The UK has huge, huge debt. The City of London financial center is badly damaged and politicians are trying to kill the goose that laid the golden egg by increasing taxes so much that it will drive out the remaining banks. In a few years we will look back and be shocked at how far the pound has come down.

Air Pollution Hits Record High in Hong Kong

HONG KONG — Air pollution in Hong Kong, one of the perpetual banes of living and working in the Asian financial hub, skyrocketed to record levels on Monday, triggering an official government warning to avoid outdoor activities and physical exertion.

Air Pollution Kills 50,000 in the U.K. a Year, Lawmakers Says

(Bloomberg) -- Air pollution from traffic and industry kills as many as 50,000 people in the U.K. every year, and the nation could face fines of as much as $450 million for failing to meet European Union targets, lawmakers said.

Carbon capture a coal solution

An interesting project ramping up in southeastern Saskatchewan is a good example of the kind of long-term investment needed to ensure Canada’s future.

It’s a carbon capture and storage (CCS) job that will, when finished, capture a million tonnes of carbon dioxide per year, and provide a demonstration of Canadian technology to monitor and verify the state and amount of the gas underground so we know just how much is there and to prove there is no leakage.

The New Energy Opportunity

Given all the obstacles, you might wonder why we bother with renewable energy at all. In fact, we wouldn't, and didn't for years, when the world's oil and gas reserves looked endless, and everybody thought global warming was what happened when the sun came up in the morning.

But peak oil will strike at some time, and unless climate global warming is exposed as a myth, hoax, religion or tax grab, we need to do something about our warming planet as well.

Japan planning 14 nuclear plants: report

TOKYO (AFP) – Resource-poor Japan is planning to build at least 14 nuclear power plants over the next 20 years to reduce its reliance on other countries for its energy needs, a report said Sunday.

The world's second biggest economy, which wants to double its provision for its fuel consumption, will make an announcement in June on whether it indends to press ahead with the plants, the Nikkei business daily said.

Asia’s nuclear dilemma

Nuclear power has long been opposed on safety, environmental, security and business grounds. But Asian governments are saying they can’t fight global warming without more of it.

Chevron plans solar panel installation: report

(Reuters) - U.S. energy giant Chevron Corp is set to announce on Monday the installation of 7,700 solar power panels near Bakersfield in California, which is expected to produce 740 kilowatts of electricity, the Los Angeles Times said.

The sloping panels will be used to power the pumps and the pipelines operated at Chevron's Kern River oil field facility, the paper said.

'Cold fusion' moves closer to mainstream acceptance

A potential new energy source so controversial that people once regarded it as junk science is moving closer to acceptance by the mainstream scientific community. That's the conclusion of the organizer of one of the largest scientific sessions on the topic -- "cold fusion" -- being held in San Francisco for the next two days in the Moscone Center during the 239th National Meeting of the American Chemical Society (ACS).

World Water Day: Why business needs to worry (Peter Brabeck-Letmanthe, Chairman, Nestle S.A.)

Monday is World Water Day, but I suspect relatively few will have noticed.

While the world is rightly moving to address the challenges presented by climate change and depleting supplies of fossil fuels, the same awareness and consensus does not exist when it comes to addressing our usage of water. Yet the harsh fact is that we will probably run out of water long before we run out of fuel.

We need to act fast, now.

Drought spreading across China

Severe drought is continuing to plague southwest China, and is spreading to other parts of the country. These are the worst conditions the region has ever seen in a century. The government is calling on people to use water sparingly.

Hunger adds to drought's woes

MUYANG, Yunnan - Besides thirst, Yunnan farmer He Zhongcai has to battle another basic need - hunger.

After a seemingly endless drought in Xiaowanshan village since August, the daily dish for He's family is a kind of green grass, called Eyangcao - it means last choice for a starving sheep.

Mixing In Some Carbon

MOSS LANDING, Calif. — It seems like alchemy: a Silicon Valley start-up says it has found a way to capture the carbon dioxide emissions from coal and gas power plants and lock them into cement.

Wind contributing to Arctic sea ice loss, study finds

Much of the record breaking loss of ice in the Arctic ocean in recent years is down to the region's swirling winds and is not a direct result of global warming, a new study reveals.

Ice blown out of the region by Arctic winds can explain around one-third of the steep downward trend in sea ice extent in the region since 1979, the scientists say.

The study does not question that global warming is also melting ice in the Arctic, but it could raise doubts about high-profile claims that the region has passed a climate "tipping point" that could see ice loss sharply accelerate in coming years.

Energy security worry to drive India's low-CO2 plan

NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Worries over energy security will drive India's goal to slow the growth of its carbon emissions, the head of a government panel tasked with developing the country's low-carbon strategy said on Monday.

Reserves of fossil fuels such as coal were fast running out, making it imperative for India to improve efficiency and accelerate renewable energy sources to keep the economy growing at a projected 8 to 9 percent annually, Kirit Parikh said.

From Wishful Thinking to Real-World Action on Climate

As for population, I noted that Africa’s population is projected to double — from one to two billion — by 2050. That means exposure to climate hazards will greatly increase in many places even if climate patterns don’t change at all. So family planning, and sanitation and water management, sure sound like vital parts of any push for climate progress.

But “population” was barely mentioned in Copenhagen. I almost guarantee that such projects will have a hard time winning grants from the planned Copenhagen Green Climate Fund.

Is Corporate America Our Best Hope Against Climate Change?

Although industry is still the engine of all those carbon emissions — more than a few CEOs doubt that global warming even exists — it is also the source of clean-energy solutions, which are emerging from every layer of the business world, from tiny startups to Fortune 500 behemoths. Major corporations set their own plans for greenhouse gas emissions reductions that far greener than targets that nations throw about at U.N. climate change summits.

Meanwhile Washington is paralyzed, seemingly incapable of coming to grips with global warming or the looming energy crisis. What we need is smart policy to deal with the biggest long-term challenge facing the country. What we get is vacuum.

The critical gods are in agreement that transplanting King Lear to the City of London may be what you call biting off more than you can chew

Can you think of a less promising idea than taking one of the dozen or so mega-masterpieces of English theatre and rewriting it in a (less good, obviously) version? Well, you have until the end of this humorous digest to try.

In the meantime, apropos of nothing, let's look at what seven different critics thought of Dennis Kelly and the RSC's The Gods Weep, which transposes King Lear to the City of London. The play tells the story of … well, it tells the story of King Lear. Old man divides dominion between chosen successors, it doesn't go well, everybody dies. Thus Jeremy Irons plays Colm, an old CEO, who divides up his company between chosen successors, who, erm, end up killing each other in a post-apocalyptic wilderness.

"It is admirable in its ambition and daring in its willingness to take on huge themes such as destruction and redemption," says the FT's Sarah Hemming, en route, one senses, to something less admiring. Ah yes, here it is: "But unfortunately it also proves an unwieldy and unconvincing piece of drama that loses its way in the storm." Though well done everyone for trying, says Kate Bassett in the Independent on Sunday: "Kelly has the courage to think big, and the piece is strewn with unnerving images," are her actual words. "Alas, the principal let-down in Maria Aberg's production is Irons's lame performance, his bouts of madness particularly unconvincing."

Meanwhile, the Guardian's Michael Billington (though we have just seen him proved wrong in his assertion that "you can't fault the acting") seems to speak for everyone when he says: "I don't think you can simply apply the structure of King Lear to contemporary Britain. Kelly never makes it clear how corporate rivalry leads to armed conflict." (The playwright's own description of his script as "big, unwieldy, flawed and messy" may be a clue, however.)

And now for the bad reviews. Charles Spencer of the Telegraph thinks the play is too long. "Merely excising all the flaccidly employed swear words would greatly reduce the running time," he suggests, "but I have a suspicion that The Gods Weep […] would remain intolerable even if reduced to the length of a haiku." The Mail's Quentin Letts did find some fleeting promise early on – "despite the revolting language" – but this was soon obscured by a stack of other weaknesses. "[The] play is unwieldy, pretentious, coarse, confusing and surely calls into question the judgment not only of Mr Irons, but also of the executives and board members involved in the RSC's Daddy-O attempt to find new playwrights."

Just two more to go. "Some of Kelly's gestures towards Lear are clever," says Henry Hitchings of the Evening Standard, which is as good as his review gets. "Tonally, the play is bewildering," he adds, "[and] an uncomfortable mix of bombast, violence, ponderous pathos and exaggerated profanity." And finally, in the Times, Benedict Nightingale found the whole affair "imaginative", yes, but also "preposterous and finally very dull". "Won't tell you how it ends," he concludes, "just say I wish it had ended far sooner." Speaking of endings, have you come up with a worse idea than rewriting Shakespeare yet? Me neither. Maybe this was one.

Do say: As streams to amateur gold prospectors are we to th'critics / They pan us for their sport.

Don't say: Not another bloody word on stage about the financial crisis unless you are actually contributing something new! OK?

The reviews reviewed: Sorry to be so conventional but, do you know, I actually prefer Shakespeare's version.

Thanks to the phenomenon known as "insomnia," aka "the crushing worries of existence, nestled at bedside," what follows is an alphabetical, standardized version of the list of current webcomics produced by CR readers on Friday evening. Although even I can think of a lot of great strips that no one mentioned, I think it's a pretty good list, and only three made me want to build a time machine to go back to caveman times and find some way to destroy mankind's artistic impulse. And then only for a few seconds. Mostly, there's a lot on even this admittedly very standard list with which I wasn't yet familiar. Anyway, I made a folder out of open new tabs and all tabs in a folder function, and look forward to digging in. Maybe you will, too. * 1930 Nightmare Theatre @ Dumm Comics, Kyle A. Carrozza and John Berry * 1977 The Comic, W. Byron Wilkins * Achewood, Chris Onstad * A Manga Addict, Sam Mooney * American Elf, James Kochalka * A Softer World, E Horne and J Comeau * Bad Machinery, John Allison * Bear Nuts, Alison Acton * Between Gears, Natalie Nourigat * Brat-Halla, Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose * Briar Hollow, Terry Blas * Bug, Adam Huber * Cat and Girl, Dorothy Gambrell * College Roomies From Hell!!!, Maritza Campos * Daisy Owl, Ben Driscoll * Dark Horse MySpace Presents * Deadbeats, Richard Howell and Ricardo Villagran and Thom Zahler * Diesel Sweeties, R. Stevens * Dinosaur Comics, Ryan North * Dresden Codak, Aaron Diaz * Ellerbisms, Marc Ellerby * Ellie Connelly, Indigo Kelleigh * EmiTown, Emi Lenox * Endtown, Aaron Neathery * Freakangels, Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield * Girl Genius, Phil Foglio and Kaja Foglio * Girls With Slingshots, Danielle Corsetto * Goats, Jon Rosenberg * Hark! A Vagrant, Kate Beaton * Haunted, Josh Smeaton * Heropotamus, Josh Alves * Iron, SM Vidaurri * John & John, , d!o * Johnny Wander, Ananth Panagariya and Yuko Ota * Kawaii Not, Meghan Murphy * Lackadaisy, Tracy J. Butler * Let's Be Friends Again, Curt Franklin and Chris Haley * Liz Prince Power, Liz Prince * Max Vs. Max, Wes Molebash * Menage a 3, Giz and Dave Zero1 * Mugwhump the Great, Roger Langridge * My Cardboard Life, Philippa Rice * Nedroid Picture Diary, Anthony Clark * Oceanverse, Michael Schwartz * Octopus Pie, Meredith Gran * Pajama Forest!, Evan Diaz * Penny and Aggie, T. Campbell and Gisele Legace * Penny Arcade, Jerry Holkins and illustrated by Mike Krahulik * PhD: Piled Higher & Deeper, , Jorge Cham * Pokeweed, Drew Pocza * PvP, Scott Kurtz * Questionable Content, Jeph Jacques * reMIND, Jason Brubaker * Savage Chickens, Doug Savage * Sheldon, Dave Kellett * She Said, Kris Dresen * Shortpacked!, David Willis * Sinfest, Tatsuya Ishida * Sin Titulo, Cameron Stewart * Socks and Barney, Steve Conley * Spain & Morocco, Alex Fellows * Steve Bissette's King of Monster Isle, Steve Bissette * Strewth, Josh Way * SubCulture, Kevin Freeman and Stan Yan * Supernatural Law, Batton Lash * The Abominable Charles Christopher, Karl Kerschl * The Bean, Trav * The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, Justin Pierce * Tune, Derek Kirk Kim * Toddbot.com, Todd Webb * Wapsi Square, Paul Taylor * Whubble, Jamie Smart * Wondermark, David Malki * XKCD, Randall Munroe * Year of the Rat, Cayetano Garza Jr. Thanks to all the readers that participated.

By WizenedSage --

[The following article languished in my “Not Sufficiently Interesting” folder for many months. Then I read “Rejecting Falsehood and Meeting Jesus” by Chris, published on 3/21/10 and changed my mind. I decided that my article was perfectly relevant and perhaps it was time to hoist it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.]

When you debate the existence of a god with a Christian, you may cover many of the standard arguments, from the ontological argument to the “universe is too perfectly balanced to be accidental” argument, the problem of evil, the “hiddeness” problem, etc. If you can get the believer to yield anything at all, he will almost always eventually fall back on the “I just know in my heart” argument. To the believer, this is proof enough, and it becomes quite difficult to get him to even consider that his feelings may be blinding him to the truth.

In the past, at this stage, I would remind him that the Muslim and the Hindu say exactly the same thing. They simply know in their hearts that Allah is the one true god and Mohammed was his chief prophet, or that Vishnu and Krishna are as real as the trees are real. Of course he can’t explain how it is that they are wrong and he, the Christian, is right, except that maybe they just don’t feel it like he feels it; deeply and all-consumingly. I would also point out to the Christian that he is just talking about an emotion and all an emotion can ever prove is that one is emotional. Additionally, there are hundreds of people in asylums who believe in their hearts that they are Jesus Christ, but obviously aren’t. But, of course, he will tell me that is irrelevant because he is not crazy.

In my experience, this line of argument generally ended in a stalemate at this point, so I have thought a great deal on this problem, searching for an example that might break through this last line of defense at least once in a while. Finally, it occurred to me that my own life provides a very good example.

No, I can’t prove there is no god, but neither can I prove there are no leprechauns, so I feel justified in believing in neither. My family was not religious at all and we never attended church (I know, lucky me!). When the neighborhood kids would talk about god, I would ask questions. One kid taught me about prayer, which I soon found didn’t work. His response was, “Just keep trying.” Anyway, he told me that god was everywhere, and saw everything, and even knew what we were thinking. Since he told me that everyone believed this, I naturally assumed it must be true. I was only about six years-old at the time. I did wonder how anyone knew this for sure, but soon I felt a presence inside me that just had to be god. I felt like I was being watched by god and acted accordingly. I also frequently talked in my head to this presence. It felt quite natural.

Fortunately, I saw very early on that most Bible stories were absolute nonsense, so I never became religious in the standard sense. Over time, being a science nut and a compulsive reader, I began to have serious doubts about the very existence of gods. I became an agnostic by my late teens, but religion was largely irrelevant to me at that time, so I seldom thought much about it. However, over the past decade or so I did some serious investigating and became an uncompromising atheist. No, I can’t prove there is no god, but neither can I prove there are no leprechauns, so I feel justified in believing in neither. I’m not interested in that one chance in ten billion or whatever that I might be wrong. People can go nuts that way.

So, while I once felt with utter conviction that there was a god, now I don’t believe it. My question to the believer is - what happened? Did the world change, or did I change? The obvious answer is that I changed, and either there was always a god or there never was a god. And it’s just as obvious that this inner certainty that I felt was absolutely useless as evidence on the question of the existence of a god. I also know of others who once “felt” the reality of a god but no longer do. Thus, I am not just describing a failing of mine, but a facet of the human condition.

In essence, I’ve run the same experiment twice. The first time, my experiment, my conviction, was that god does exist. In the second run of this experiment, the answer I got was that there is no god. It seems pretty clear that this experiment, this appeal to emotion, is useless since it is not consistent. My point here, and it’s all-important, is that whether I was right before and wrong now, or vice-versa, doesn’t matter. What matters is that my inner convictions have simply given no indication of how the world really is, and did not ALWAYS point to the truth. My convictions on this issue have been both right and wrong over my lifetime and it’s impossible to say without outside evidence when I was right and when I was wrong. For the believer, how can it make sense to always believe one’s inner convictions once it’s been absolutely proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that inner convictions sometimes fail, even in perfectly healthy, normal human beings?

Is this going to convince a believer that his internal compass is not dependable? Of course not, but it might cause him to think about it a bit and maybe look a little closer at the lack of external evidence. If he insists that he still knows he is right and his conviction couldn’t possibly be wrong, one might point out to him that he is then certainly guilty of the sin of pride. Let him chew on that for a bit. Naturally, no single argument is going to change the believer on the spot. As we all know, losing faith is seldom the result of an epiphany. It generally is a long slow erosion process and I just want to blow some possibilities across his topsoil.

On a recent Friday morning, Wheatberry Bakery in Amherst, Massachusetts, was humming with activity. Behind hand-built wooden counters set with delicate French tiles, co-owner Adrie Lester dealt a brisk business in organic scones and muffins, loaves of fragrant artisanal bread, soups, and sandwiches. In the bakery's kitchen, her husband, Ben, kneaded a batch of dough, then paused to slip a tray of sourdough baguettes into the oven.

The Lesters opened their business in 2005 and quickly established themselves as a neighborhood fixture. But in early 2008, everything changed. Commodity crop prices went haywire, sending the cost of flour soaring. "It was catastrophic," Ben said. The Lesters decided that basing their products on an ingredient produced thousands of miles away in the Midwest no longer made good business sense, and they began to ask what it would take to source grain from local growers.

Two years later, an estimated 10 percent of the grains they use are locally grown, a number they hope to increase over time. In the meantime, the Lesters have poured their energies into a related endeavor: organizing the region's first grain CSA, which in 2009 had approximately 115 members, with a waiting list to match. Last October, Ben and Adrie installed an electric mill in their bakery; now, a day rarely passes without a member stopping by to say hello and grind some grain into flour. The Lesters offer a remarkable example of the creative, community-focused thinking that has driven the local foods movement for the past decade, and they are not alone. From Maine and Vermont to New York and Pennsylvania, a growing number of farmers, bakers, brewers, distillers, and food educators are working to create a regional grain network throughout the Northeast.

Of course, there are the old-timers, like Daisy Flour in southeastern Pennsylvania, which has milled local wheat continuously since the late 19th century, and the relative old-timers—like Vermont's Butterworks Farm and Gleason Grains, which have been growing grain for human consumption (as opposed to livestock feed) since the 1980s. Then there is the "new" generation. In 2006, veteran baker Don Lewis, of Wild Hive Farm in Clinton Corners, New York, began exclusively sourcing local grains for his breads and rugelach. Rochester's Small World Bakery launched a bread club in 2007 that provides members with a weekly loaf baked from New York flour. And Cayuga Pure Organics, a 600-acre grain and beans farm, was founded in 2003 by two long-time Ithaca farmers, Erick Smith and Dan Lathwell.

Last year, Cayuga joined New York City's Greenmarket system as its first supplier of whole grains, beans, and flour. Greenmarket publicity manager, Sabine Hrechdakian, said customers have been overwhelmingly enthusiastic. "In recent years we've seen [local vegetables and] grass-fed meat take off," she said. "Grains are the new frontier."

Once upon a time, of course, local grain was de rigueur. Before America's amber waves settled in the Great Plains (Kansas and North Dakota produce most of the country's bread wheat, each harvesting over eight million acres annually), the East was America's original breadbasket. This early production was, by default, hyper-local—grown by individuals and ground at home, or in small communal gristmills.

In 1825, the Erie Canal opened up trade routes that enabled New York's fertile Genesee Valley to emerge as a leading wheat producer. The canal also helped establish cities like Rochester and Buffalo as early centers of industrial milling. According to the late Blake McKelvey, a former Rochester city historian, Rochester boasted 21 active flourmills by 1835, enough to earn it the title Flour City.

A few vestiges remain, like Birkett Mills, which has ground buckwheat in Penn Yan, New York, since 1797. "I guess nobody told them that flour milling was moving out west," joked Luke Stoldola of Small World Bakery. For the most part, however, the mills have long since closed or been converted for other uses.

Today's grain advocates hope to restore the vibrant regional grain economy in the Northeast, and—with people like the Lesters on board—they have reason to be hopeful. Still, there are potential stumbling blocks ahead. The movement is relatively new, and despite organizing efforts (like the Northern Grain Growers Association in Vermont and the Northeast Organic Wheat Project), it is still largely fragmented. Lack of infrastructure—mills and processing facilities—is another limiting factor.

Then there are the seeds. Several of the Northeastern wheat growers have begun to experiment with heritage or "landrace" varieties. Cayuga Pure Organics, for example, grows the ancient wheat ancestors emmer and freekeh (roasted green spelt) along with more familiar grains. These heritage varieties are heralded among the converted for their genetic diversity, adaptability, and complex flavor. "Modern wheat tastes like cardboard in comparison," said Eli Rogosa, a baker, farmer, and heritage wheat advocate who is regarded as the unofficial high priestess of the movement.

Nonetheless, heritage wheats can pose challenges in the kitchen—particularly varieties that contain less gluten, which helps form chewy, fully raised loaves. "Some people say you just have to revise your expectations from the Midwestern flour standard," said Erik Andrus, who founded Good Companion Bakery in Vermont. "But as a baker, I'm not ready for that."

Additionally, many heritage varieties are currently available only in tiny quantities. Grains were commoditized over 100 years ago and never favored by backyard gardeners, said Elizabeth Dyck, who coordinates the Northeast Organic Wheat Project under the umbrella of the Northeast Organic Farming Association of New York. As a result, many varieties exist only in gene banks or on small experimental plots.

Growing out the seed populations is possible but will take time, organization, and funding. In the meantime, consumers and businesses are left waiting. Take King Arthur Flour, the beloved Vermont-based flour company with significant nationwide distribution. King Arthur's bakery director, Jeffrey Hamelman, said the company is 100 percent behind using local wheat, and last year the company started baking a "Vermont Grains" loaf at its on-site bakery. For now, however, the flour sold under its label still hails, by necessity, from the Midwest.

Grain was a latecomer to the "eat local" movement but has proven a compelling addition. Whether or not it moves into the mainstream relies on how well the key players can work together. This January, the Northeast Organic Wheat Project and the Greenmarket co-hosted a "local grains tasting" in New York City. Farmers and millers from across the Northeast met with some of the city's best chefs, bakers, and distillers to sample heritage wheats and discuss their common goals and challenges.

According to Dyck, these continued dialogues are critical to realizing the vision of a vibrant Northeastern grain economy. "People are good at figuring out how to get from A to B, but without more conversations, it will remain a very niche thing," she said. "Still, do I think we can produce a substantial amount of grain in the Northeast with the right support? Absolutely."

(Posted by: Heather L. Sanders of Oh My Stinkin’ Heck)

In my opinion, one of the greatest perks of homeschooling is all the complimentary, fun “extracurricular” activities we get to do. And then there are those “not-necessarily-complimentary-but-fun-anyway” activities – like making a volcano and watching it erupt!

Are we studying Volcanoes? No.
Are we studying Chemical Reactons? No.
Is one of my friends studying Volcanoes with her kids? Yes.
Did she give us a link to purchase a Volcano Making Kit and invite us over to participate? YES! YES!! YES!!!

Have I mentioned how awesome it is to have friends who homeschool?

Abiding by the SAFETY MESSAGE on the front page of the directions, we kept all small parts away from children not over the age of 3. Of course, that was the easiest thing we did all day since the youngest child participating was 6.

Meredith read through the Mixing and Moulding directions while I snapped the mould together and Kenny helped me secure it with rubberbands.

“Cut open the two bags of plaster mix using the scissors and pour into the mixing bowl.”

“Add approximately 280ml water to the plaster powder and stir the mixture until it becomes a smooth paste.”

Meredith inspects Kenny’s stirring job. Without “big sister” Emelie around, Meredith takes the lead advisory role.

“I think maybe you should stir it a little more…I see a few lumps.”

As Kenny stirs, Meredith reads, “Pour this paste into the mould…”

“…and gently shake the mould to get rid of any air bubbles.”

“Leave the plaster to set. This will take about 20-30 minutes at room temperature.”

THIRTY MINUTES!!??!!

Kenny was more than a bit irritated; he sprained his ankle a couple of days before and couldn’t run and play easily.

Alas, the despair of a 7 year old who cannot jump on a trampoline while waiting for plaster to dry; truly a desperate situation.

“Once the plaster has fully hardened, gently remove it from the mould.”

Removing it from the mould simply meant removing the rubber bands and unsnapping the orange mould.

After waiting a half-hour for the mould to dry we opted NOT to paint it. I’m thinking next time we try this little number a little paint will be in the picture.

Meredith turns the mould over while Kenny measures out a teaspoonful of baking soda into the “eruption chamber”.

Meredith watches very closely; thank the Lord she didn’t sneeze.

It is time to add in the “wet” ingredients – a few drops of liquid dishwashing detergent and then the vinegar; Meredith walks the volcano over to the grass to keep the mess off my friend’s back porch.

As soon as the vinegar is added the eruption begins.

Our lava was rather “speckled” due to misleading directions which stated if we added in a smidgeon of red paint to the dry baking soda it would come out red.

Um…not exactly.

I’ve since read that red color dye is much more effective.

Each time the lava stopped flowing we added more vinegar and it’d start right back up again; this reaction lasted until the baking soda was completely dissolved.

I can imagine with a bigger volcano this could be quite messy.

And of course, more fun. Still, this was good for a start!

Need a Review?

So here are some fun facts to know:

1. The largest volcano on the Earth, Hawaii’s Mauna Loa, is about 10 kilometers (6.21 miles) in height from the sea floor. The largest volcano in our solar system is on Mars and is called the Olympus Mons. it is about 27 kilometers (16.77 miles) in height. Our volcano? All of 4 (four) inches in height.

2. Deep inside the earth, gas causes the rock to melt and form magna. Right inside our “eruption chamber” (the size of an empty 35mm film container) the reaction between baking soda and vinegar creates a carbon dioxide gas that bubbles and foams over the top.

3. While volcanic eruptions are destructive at times, they add minerals and nutrients to the soil that benefit the earth. Our eruption did nothing of the sort and looked a bit like the froth of a rabid dog who might recently have chewed up a red chew toy.

4. The chemical reaction is written as follows:
NaHCO3 (aq) + CH3COOH (aq) —-> CO2 (g) + H2O (l) + CH3COONa (aq)

I gathered that bit of information from a book.
Because?
I made a C in Chemistry.
Yes, I will most certainly hire a tutor when that course rears its ugly head again, thankyouverymuch.

(Chemistry teachers and Science experts forgive the implied negativity – if it makes you happy, I did learn the periodic table of elements AND could fire up a “mean” Bunsen Burner.)

Like I mentioned above, you can purchase a Volcano Making Kit, but you can also make your own volcano using instructions over at Science Bob.

As I stated in my last blog I had been pursuing a PAL that a friend made that I fell in love with. It featured a 50% white starter with hints of whole wheat that actually was used to make the PAL from a previously fermented PAL. A cup chopped off the fully fermented PAL to be used as a chef was key, then using it in a sourdough loaf featuring 60% prefermented flour, saving a bit of the chef to make into a levain of 50%, repeating the process. So levain, to PAL, to chef, to Sourdough, to Levain and repeat. Took me a moment to grasp on to it but now I believe I understand the concept a bit more.

Yesterday I attempted the fourth run of this levain,chef, repeat bread and followed instructions given by fellow loafers on this generously dojo called The Fresh loaf, including a full doubling in size during bulk fermentation granted taking a bit more than 5 hours, and then due to lack of time and growing tired since I was at work at a time before most people even think about getting out of bed in the morning, I only let the PAL rise for an hour at about 76 degrees on my counter before tucking it into my fridge for 8 hours of cold final fermentation. I baked the loaf straight out of the fridge after learning from trying with my last loaf that lettting it rise for an hour or two on the counter before baking, resulted in a baguette using this dough to have a lack luster crust and flavor. Also, on another attempt I had tried bulk retarding after two folds but found the next day the loaf was hard to shape and took far to long to rise, in fact after early morning sweets shift at the bakery and then class, the loaf hadn't risen at all. So, I believe when I retard a loaf, it will be during the final phase.

Anyways, 30 minutes undercover and 15 uncovered at 460 degrees farenheit provided me with a fragant loaf of 3/4 lbs featuring golden crust with a chew and decent crumb. Best yet, a flavor better than as my fiance put it towards the last loaves, "...taste like something sour wants to exist..but it's white bread", easily to shame. Just pressing your nose up to it you can indulge in sour tang that went great with some fresh goat cheese and tarragon.

I think I finally nailed it with this loaf, thanks to those that helped along the way, and those before me who provided enough information while searching TFL on cold fermentation, bulk fermentation and more.

I also baked an almond torte from the website  Sweetandsaucy, though it was definetly the best on the first day after baking. Day three now and it is starting to shrink and get a bit to sticky. Still yummy, since I really love tortes. And best yet this one taste like one of my favorite cookies to make, a french macaroon! A giant french macaroon too! This week I will be baking a chocolate orange torte altering the recipe from Joy of cooking : )

And then being a fellow who eats healthy (in the organic, natural, local way, don't mind the baked good consumption, no matter how organic or natural they are :), something I haven't had in at least six years since I was a freshmen in high school was a strawberry poptart...I used to rely on them for breakfast some weeks since I was either too busy in the morning by being worried about putting my mohawk up to even think about nutritional needs. But that changed this morning when I went through the latest Bon Appetit magazine and found the recipe for Strawberry "Pop-tarts". Without a doubt, these were wonderful! Like eating pie for breakfast!

Essentially it is a flaky pastry crust that you cover with strawberry preserves (I used some local organic preserves), covering with another sheet of dough, crimp the sides and place in the freezer overnight to be baked right from the freezer the next morning at 375. Careful though, it takes two sticks of butter for 6-8 of these tarts : ) I guess that is what makes them so great.

And then finally I picked up some local high extraction wheat flour at the farmer's market. Finally I thought! I have stumbled upon the right flour for the miche pointe a calliere! I had tried this loaf before but had either used 80-85% whole wheat flour with Sir Galahad to make up the rest, resulting in a semi-sticky loaf or baked an almost exclusively whole wheat miche that was easier to handle then this atrocity that intruded into my kitchen today!

This loaf was so hard to manage, from start to finish, I was scraping dough from the counter, my hands and my dough scrapper struggling and cursing watching this loaf double in size only to my terror! "Oh what will I do when it reaches the top of the container?!?!" When it came time to shape the loaf, I split it between two loaves, floured my hands then tried to go to town shaping them. I placed one in my round banneton and one in my oval. Both I thought were well floured.

After 2 hours of final fermentation they were ready to hit the preheated oven. Here's where my age old miche problem comes around. I tried to gently place the round loaf into the oven but it ends up flattening a bit. Even after baking, I end up with a nice saucer. The oval loaf in turn gets caught to the banneton, rips on the side and becomes an ugly mess nice to my saucer of loaf, I call a boule.

In polite terms, I say screw it, can't do anything but bake them now. I will say, the house smelt great, I loved the Golden Wheat Flour from Grain Market, but damn, these loaves were a nightmare! I can never ever shape a miche and have it retain any definite shape when it comes time to bake, they end up flat always!

Here is the crumb though after the loaf sat cooling all day with the windows open. The crust is soft and chewy, the crumb super moist and tender. The taste was wonderful though so I am not all that upset. I will just have to alter the recipe I suppose, or try a less hydrated miche to help me get the hang of miches a bit more.

As you can see, I believe the crumb suffered a bit from the drop into the oven. The top right side of the picture features one of the areas the loaf stuck to the banneton and then tore and folded onto itself.

My thoughts on this is, when I get a nice stone for my oven, and a peel, I will place the peel with parchment on top, on top of the banneton with said loaf in it, slowly while holding the banneton turn the peel and loaf right side up so there is no 'dropping of the loaf', and then slide the loaf right into the oven off the peel with the parchment attached. This method sounded pretty sound proof to me I thought.

So today I'm having one of those "I'm not really feelin too hot" kind of days... I think it's stemming off of the delusions my mind is playing on me having not run this week. Every off week it seems to happen, like clockwork. It's actually funny how one day you can feel like you've magically gained 10 lbs since the day before and the next you are like "Damn, I don't look half bad!". I know that I'm not the only one who feels like this...and I know even men have this problem too! For some reason people like to assume that guys don't go through this stuff...but let me tell you, any runner/athletic guy feels this way too! They just don't talk about it! So I'm calling them out!!! :D Alright, I'm going to be 100% real and open here about my struggles with this because we all know weight can be a touchy subject... runners, men, and specially for women. It was definitely a touchy subject for me in the past and I know that there are others out there that have or are struggling with body and food issues, so no holding back! Did you know that the first dieting "pamphlet" was made in 1862?! I want to point out that it was made by a man who thought he was a bittttt too chunky (proof that men are not exempt from this! haha!). The man, William Banting, created this diet by cutting back on carbohydrates that were easily digestible.  Sounds like some high tech stuff for the 1800's! Since then there have been even crazier diets, the "Chew-chew man" diet created by Horace Fletcher in 1903 which suggested chewing your food 32 times once over each tooth in order to make the food liquid. YUMMMM!!! ;) Or the diet the Kellogg bro's came up with in 1906...corn flakes. Those didn't become successful until one of the brothers dumped a load full of sugar on them... the other bro sued him for the "unhealthy" development. Then there's the "I only eat salad" diet (seriously, I hate this one!!!! I'll explain later lol), the grapefruit diet, the lemonade diet, Atkins, South Beach, the list goes on! All of these are completely ridiculous and stupid! So obviously this fascination with weight, food, and dieting is nothing new. But this is what I don't understand...Why do people do this?  Okay, I guess I do understand this why people do this...hahaa! Here's my story... I haven't always been the girl who would shun fad diets or who didn't believe that beauty was stick thin. Ohhh quite the contrary! I let food and weight run my life. I was a friend of the scale, stepping on it daily to make sure I didn't gain a pound, and exercised like a crazy person to burn off the Wheat Thins I God forbid ate at lunch. It was not a fun period of my adolescence/teen years.... and I think it's more common in young girls lives than some people would think. Later in life, I figured out the main problem to my obsession with weight and food (and the answer to the question I pose above)... I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO EAT! (and other people don't either!) Yes, this sound really ridiculous because eating is a simple task, but it's so true! If we all knew how to eat there would be no need for diets, and people would not be struggling with weight issues in either extremes. I grew up with a mom who snacked all the time. That's just how she ate... I still don't think I've seen her eat a balanced meal in my life hahaa! (she's a character, and I love her lol). She gets in these modes where she loves one thing... like potato chips. So for a week she would basically only touch potato chips (okay, I have to give her some credit...they were baked ;) ). Or candy. We had candy allll over the house and instead of eating real food we would nibble on licorice, dots, or bubblegum. Willy likes to mention the trip down to cross country nationals he took with my mom and brother, where my mom only ate French fries...the whole 3 days. Yup, not kidding. haha! This was the way I think she learned to eat to cut calories, her own make-shift diet: Never eat a meal because that's too many calories. It's no surprise that I didn't really know how to eat! I picked up on that same habit at a fairly young age as a way to regulate what I was eating. I was so unsure of foods that I would pick one healthy item and eat it until my taste buds wore out. I had an apple fad, a bagel fad, a peanut butter and jelly on carb free bread fad, a broccoli fad, an only veggie fad...ridiculous!  I got so much into this habit that I was afraid of food. I didn't enjoy eating. (Which should be a highlight in people's day!) and I didn't really like my body on top of it. It wasn't until I ended up spending a weekend at Willy's house my junior year of college where the process to learn about food began. He was making dinner... stir fry (the only thing in the ingredients of stir fry that fit into my list of "okay foods to eat" at the time were the veggies. I was afraid of rice, and cheese...like real afraid haaha!). I remember he put this humongous plate full of rice, veggies, chicken, cheese, Parmesan cheese, and barbeque's sauce in front of me. I looked at him like "Are you kidding me?!".  I asked him "How do you eat all this food and are so skinny? I don't get it". He said "When you feed your body with things that it needs it helps you. I promise you that if you start eating a balanced diet...including pasta, rice, cheese, cereal, anything you are afraid of,  you will NOT get fat". I didn't quite believe him, but I bravely ate the stir fry... After that weekend, I tried stretching my food diet (with his encouragement, of course.... When you are so fixed on something being "bad" it's hard to change!). After lots of practice and open mindedness, I started to learn how to eat. There soon became NO food that I was afraid of. I learned balance, portion size, and actually got to eat foods that tasted good!!!! Flavor is amazing! I couldn't believe I was missing out on all these great foods allll these years! It turned out I didn't gain weight. Willy was actually right! I ended up being able to feed my body the nutrition it needed in order to perform. This was one of the best lessons of my life... it changed the way I did everything in my life. My running got better, school got better, my relationships got better. All because I wasn't letting food rule my life! When you don't restrict yourself you're definitely a happier person! So this is why I hate the word "diet". It's unrealistic! It's like living on a hamster wheel where you keep going in circles over and over, making no progress. This is why the salad thing really gets me!! There is no way a salad has the nutrition to feed your body... you're usually always left hungry (unless you put almomds, chicken, or some kind of protein on it). When you restrict yourself, by only eating salad or cutting out real meals to have crappy snacks all the time, you are going to over indulge in things that are not good, and feel worse about yourself. Diets that restrict just won't help... learning how to portion and eat proper foods will.. You gotta work that metabolism!! [Side note: I do think that the "diets" that portion things out do have some value, because for people who don't know how to eat and are afraid of foods, like I was, it is a teaching tool that can be used to change the old habits/idea's of food they have, but generally most diets are real stupid haaha!] Although I do have my "fat" days, I have learned to accept my body for what it is. And am proud of it!!!! I think about the great things that it can do... it can run, learn, walk, bike, talk. Yeah, everyone has something that they wished were different. Sometimes we will gain a few pounds, sometimes we will lose a few pounds. The body naturally is going to do it's own thing...the thing that you can help is how you treat it. I really believe that changing my idea of food changed my outlook on life and myself. This is an ongoing process though... teaching yourself how to eat and how to think about your body. NO ONE IS PERFECT. It's a fact. It's a hard concept to grasp though! It's always easier to look at someone else and think they've got no body issues. In running especially, I sometimes catch myself thinking this of other people. When you are wearing the buns, you can't really hide much! Okay, I don't wear the buns usually but sometimes I look at girls who do and are like "Dang! I wish I had their legs! They are so skinny!" and then I remember, just like those days when I delusionally feel like I gained 10 pounds, I'm kind of delusional about other people's bodies too. It's so much easier to be critical of yourself than others. I think this is such an important topic for female athletes to understand. Even top athletes struggle with body image and are very conscious of what they eat. Doing research on healthy foods and balancing all the essential foods is important, but being aware that you are not taking it over board is even more important. There are so many resources people can use in order to learn how to eat healthier. So let go of your old "diet"-y thoughts and relax! It might be a life long practice to be confident in your body and learn how to eat again but it is definitely worth it...I promise. :) Feel the passion. Live the passion. ~Stephanie

UFC on Versus
March 21, 2010
First Bank Center
Broomfield, Colorado

Main card:
Jon Jones vs. Brandon Vera 

Luke Thomas: Vera is incredibly durable and defensively very strong. Whatever criticisms one has of Vera, poor defense is rarely a charge that's levied. The problem has always an inability to pull the trigger, at least since his year long layoff. Vera told USA Today his plan was to time Jones, pick his spots and attack in the tiny opening he thinks Jones will leave. To me that sounds a lot like more of the same. Jones will find Vera won't go away unless there's a bad ref stoppage, but being offensive in the clinch, getting time to reset and use speed to his advantage, Jones will take a hard fought decision. Jones by decision.

Kid Nate: A very very tough fight to call because Brandon Vera on paper and Brandon Vera in the Octagon are two entirely different propositions. On paper, Vera's polished Muay Thai game should be able to overcome Jones' unpolished improvising. And his Greco-Roman skills should allow him to (mostly) keep the fight standing and even if it goes down, Vera's jiu jitsu advantage should be manifest. But alas, Vera has a bad habit of coasting through fights, getting sucked into pointless clinch battles and not going for the kill. If he loiters in Jones' clinch, he'll go flying. Jones by decision.

Brent Brookhouse: Vera is extremely talented, so it's a real shame to see so many people think this is a gimmie fight for Jones.  Still, Vera did it to himself with his reluctance to use his full talents against the better fighters he has faced.  If he can find the desire to fight his fight it could turn into a very long night for Jones.  Jon has unorthodox (and relatively unpolished) striking, and a very good wrestling game, it's just a matter of him being able to use it effectively against someone with more experience and a well rounded game.  I'm going with the mild upset here.  I think the fight is mostly contested standing where Vera is better and can work his way to a decision win.  Brandon Vera by decision.

Mike Fagan: Jon Jones will steamroll Brandon Vera.  We've been waiting for that "old Brandon Vera" to come back for the last three years with no sign of a reemergence.  Instead, Vera fights with the aggressiveness of a 13 year old kid on his first date, too scared to make any move at all.  Jones is a monstrous beast at 205, and if Vera's standup gives him any problems, he'll ragdoll Vera as he's done with everyone else so far.  Vera's crafty enough to survive, but this won't be close.  Jon Jones by super unanimous decision.

Nick Thomas: Jones has been phenomenal and this fight will be a interesting test to see if Jones can hang with the big boys. Jones will have the reach and wrestling advantage here. Going with Jones by decision.

Leland Roling: Brandon Vera needs to prove that he can implement a solid gameplan and inflict damage before I'll ever pick him again. He's burned me too many times. Jon Jones has stated he may try to stand in order to beat Vera at his strengths, and I imagine if that's true -- that's a huge mistake. Jones should be working for the takedown and using his strength to maul Vera, so I'm holding my breath as to whether Jones can produce a win. Jon Jones via decision.

Junior Dos Santos vs. Gabriel Gonzaga

Luke Thomas: Dos Santos' power is so alarming that it's hard to see a way he doesn't win here. I don't blame anyone for picking JDS and I agree with the criticisms that Gonzaga overvalues his own striking. But there is still a lot we don't know about dos Santos' ground development, which is a relevant question at the UFC level. I'll gamble here and suggest Gonzaga tells us a lot about JDS' game that we need to know. Gonzaga by submission.

Kid Nate: Dos Santos really hasn't been tested on the ground in his UFC career. If Gonzaga can focus on what he does best, he should be able to take Dos Santos down and submit him. But Gonzaga thinks he's a stand up warrior so I expect he'll try to trade with Dos Santos to disastrous effect. Dos Santos by TKO.

Brent Brookhouse:If I trusted Gonzaga to try for a takedown I'd really like him at the current odds, but I don't trust him to do anything but stand and bang.  Junior is better at that.  So it's an easy pick.  Gonzaga will last one round and then wilt and get stopped.  Junior Dos Santos by TKO, round 2.

Mike Fagan: Gonzaga looks good for about two minutes before his mind shuts off again.  Dos Santos is the worst kind of fight for Gonzaga - a guy that can brutalize you with punishment over fifteen minutes.  Dos Santos's ground game is the X-factor, but unless Gabe can submit him within the first few minutes, I'm not sure it matters.  Junior dos Santos by TKO, round 2.

Nick Thomas: You just can't pick against Dos Santos, especially when you have him against someone that isn't scared to stand and trade. Dos Santos by TKO.

Leland Roling: Dos Santos is probably going to win... and I've battled with this pick for days. Gonzaga's camp is saying he's being highly undervalued, and I think he is to an extent. While he has some striking capabilities, Dos Santos is strong, speedy, and works a nice, strong jab in combination with his overhand. Gonzaga's ground game might give Dos Santos problems, but I don't see it being the x-factor. Sadly, I will pick Dos Santos, but I'll be pulling for a bettor's upset. Dos Santos via TKO

Cheick Kongo vs. Paul Buentello

Luke Thomas: This is going to look similar to the vicious beating Overeem handed Buentello. Too bad. With "El Rey" he's got the best entrance song in MMA. Kongo by TKO.

Kid Nate: Kongo has a nice arsenal of standing strikes. Buentello has a hard right straight punch. Kongo should be able to beat Buentello standing or take him down and pound him out on the ground. Buentello snuck back into the UFC because they were in a defensive signing mode. He'll be gone very soon. Kongo by TKO.

Brent Brookhouse: I'm not really sure where the idea that Buentello was doing great against Struve came from, but fighting a bigger striker who has more power, more diverse striking and more technique is going to make for a really long, really bad night for Paul.  Cheick Kongo by KO, round 2.

Mike Fagan: This is an awful matchup for Buentello.  Kongo's bigger, longer, and more technical standing up, which is bad news in an ultimate kickboxing fight.  Cheick Kongo by TKO, round 2.

Nick Thomas: Kongo is going to be hungry after going 0-2. Kongo by decision.

Leland Roling: Kongo should be the winner here as he has length, power, and a solid Muay Thai background. Buentello can provide one punch knockout power, but Kongo's length is going to be an absolute nightmare trying to wade through. Cheick Kongo via TKO, Round 1.


James Irvin vs. Alessio Sakara

Luke Thomas: Jesus. I don't really know what to say here. Two troubled fighters with defensive liabilities. At this weight class Irvin for sure has the better power, but what about the stamina? He seemed badly dehydrated at the weigh-ins. Sakara is nothing to write home about in terms of UFC level either, but he's got enough hand technique to make it competitive. I don't know, this is a coin flip, really. I'll go Sakara.

Kid Nate: Battle of the weak chins here. Whoever connects first could well be putting the other guy to sleep. I'm tempted to go with Sakara here because he's been improving and Irvin is cutting a lot of weight to make 185lbs. But Irvin just has way more power than Sakara. Irvin by TKO.

Brent Brookhouse: Without the long layoff coupled with his first cut to 185 lbs I'd probably pick Irvin.  Those two factors are rough on their own, but combined?  That seems like a recipe for disaster.  Alessio Sakara by TKO, round 2.

Mike Fagan: At the risk of putting faith in Alessio Sakara's chin, Irvin's drug problem, weight cut, and knee injury is not a storm I want to weather.  Alessio Sakara by TKO, round 1.

Nick Thomas: Irvin is a risky pick with a long layoff and a debut at 185. As long as Sakara doesn't get caught in the stand up, it's Sakara by decision.

Leland Roling: Long layoff, new weight cut to 185 pounds, and a propensity to blow out knees while stepping up stairs... it's tough to pick Irvin here. He's exciting, has a lot of power, but for some strange reason -- I feel like Sakara is beginning to come into his own as a middle-of-the-road veteran who can, at the very least, outlast Irvin. Definitely a wishful pick here in Alessio Sakara via TKO, Round 2.

 

Undercard:
Clay Guida vs. Shannon Gugerty 

Luke Thomas: There is no good reason Gugerty should win this. Guida by decision.

Kid Nate: Clay Guida ought to be the fighter nicknamed "The NightMare" because unless three rounds of being on your back is what you're craving, he's a terrible opponent. He'll do the same thing to Gugerty he does to everyone else. Guida by decision.

Brent Brookhouse:  Push to cage, takedown, punch, punch, punch, punch, stand up, push to cage, takedown, punch, punch, punch, punch.  Clay Guida by decision.

Mike Fagan: Brent pretty much called the whole fight.  Clay Guida by decision.

Nick Thomas: Guida shouldn't be a -500 favorite but he'll still take this. Guida by decision.

Leland Roling: The combination of Clay Guida's insane conditioning and relentless pace should be too much for Gugerty in this battle. While Gugerty may actually have something to offer in the striking department as Guida has never been able to improve drastically in his delivery of blows, Guida could likely takedown Gugerty at will and wear him out considerably over the course of the fight. Barring a surprise guillotine from Gugerty, Guida should take this one. Clay Guida via decision.


Eliot Marshall vs. Vladimir Matyushenko

Luke Thomas: Marshall's tall and his sprawl is slow, which is going to cost him badly against Matyushenko. Marshall has decent guard play, but not spectacular and I don't think he's going to sweep the base-heavy Belarussian. Matyushenko is being brought in to test up and comers and I don't see this one passing the test. Matyshuenko by decision.

Kid Nate: Matyushenko is another veteran the UFC re-signed to keep out of Strikeforce. These two guys have put on some of the most painfully boring matches in recent memory. I saw Marshall clinch his way to a decision over Jason Brilz live at UFC 103 and really don't ever care to see him fight again. I used to be a big Vladdy fan back in the day, but he's slowed with age and his game was always dull to begin with. I don't think that Matyushenko is the dominating wrestler he used to be so I'm going with Marshall by decision.

Brent Brookhouse: I really like Vladimir, but I never feel bad when I don't get to see one of his fights.  Slow, grinding win for him here though.  Vladimir Matyushenko by decision.

Mike Fagan: Matyushenko has losses to (Vernon) White, Ortiz, Arlovski, and (Little) Nogueira.  I don't see Marshall joining that list.  Vladimir Matyushenko by decision.

Nick Thomas: Tough fight to call here. Matyushenko by a close decision.

Leland Roling: Matyushenko's striking has shown some drastic improvement with flashes of combinations reminiscent of Killer Instinct. Igor Pokrajac ate a few "K-K-Killer" combos in their battle, and Matyushenko is enjoying a nice winning streak despite being such an aged veteran. If Vladimir can move through Marshall's reach and height to land punches, he should win this easily, but that will be his main obstacle in this fight. On the floor, I think Matyushenko's wrestling is good enough to give him the nod. Vladimir Matyushenko via unanimous decision.


Duane Ludwig vs. Darren Elkins

Luke Thomas: Sorry, but I think Ludwig is long, long past his prime. And even then this would be close. Elkins by submission.

Kid Nate: Ludwig is being rewarded here for stepping up on short notice. He should be able to finish the green Elkins. Ludwig by TKO.

Brent Brookhouse: I'm really having trouble with this one.  Elkins didn't finish Gideon Ray, so that makes me think he wouldn't be able to finish Ludwig.  But Duane never really developed the complete game to be able to handle guys who can put him on his back.  Still, let's roll with experience.  Duane Ludwig by TKO, round 1.

Mike Fagan: Ludwig should have enough here, though I'm not going to be shocked if he falls on his face.  Duane Ludwig by decision.

Nick Thomas: Ludwig by TKO.

Leland Roling: Ludwig previously had to deal with a striker in Spencer Fisher, but it looks like he'll switch gears and try to defend being beaten to a pulp on his back. While Ludwig can be toppled by a good wrestler, I'll go with the veteran striker via TKO as Elkins just doesn't have the finishing wins to make me believe he can crush Ludwig over three rounds without being caught. Duane Ludwig via TKO, Round 2.


John Howard vs. Daniel Roberts

Luke Thomas: I smell upset. Roberts by TKO.

Kid Nate: Roberts is coming in undefeated after chewing through a roster of nobodies and has-beens like UFC 4 veteran Anthony Macias. Howard was ready to step up and face Anthony Johnson. A more seasoned Roberts maybe could win this, but not one this green. Howard by decision.

Brent Brookhouse:  Howard is drastically overrated.  He was going to get murdered by Johnson.  Roberts resume may not look like much, but he's got really good finishing ability and I think he can wear Howard down and finish him.  Daniel Roberts by TKO, round 3.

Mike Fagan: Howard may have been ready to step up and fight Anthony Johnson, but he wasn't about to step up and beat him.  I like Roberts here for the upset.  Daniel Roberts by decision.

Nick Thomas: I'd love to pick Roberts here but I think Howard will win on pure stamina. Howard by decision.

Leland Roling: While both men have some solid wrestling, I think this could ultimately come down to the better striker. Howard is a much more seasoned puncher than Roberts, and as long as Howard can maintain his feet -- he should win this by out punching Roberts. John Howard via decision.


Brendan Schaub vs. Chase Gormley

Luke Thomas: Gormley isn't the athlete Schaub is nor is he going to win in any standing exchange. Schaub by TKO.

Kid Nate: Gormley did not look UFC caliber against Stefan Struve at UFC 104. He's undersized, underskilled and slow. He also kept going for leg locks and winding up on his back. Schaub ought to be able to blast Gormley right on out of the UFC. Schaub by TKO.

Brent Brookhouse: This isn't going to be pretty, but it should get Schaub a win.  Brendan Schaub by TKO, round 2.

Mike Fagan: Schaub's gonna take this, but I'm not sure he has any future at 265.  Brendan Schaub by TKO, round 1.

Nick Thomas: Gormley will gas bad after failed takedowns. Schaub by decision.

Leland Roling: This is another tough call in my mind, but Gormley did look rather green in his first fight in the UFC despite being backed by Black House. Schaub has high level boxing and jiu-jitsu in his skill-set, but he needs to learn to work it smoothly into his overall MMA game in an actual fight. He's managed to do it well against lesser competition, and I think he'll be able to do it against Gormley as well. Brendan Schaub via TKO.

Mike Pierce vs. Julio Paulino

Luke Thomas: Paulino is a tough bastard, but Pierce has been ultra impressive with his strength, control and surprising boxing. Pierce by TKO.

Kid Nate: Pierce has been fierce in his UFC run, beating Brock Larson and giving Jon Fitch all he could handle. Paulino is making his UFC debut and frankly he's being thrown to the sharks. Pierce by dominating decision.

Brent Brookhouse:  Mike Pierce is the better fighter and has faced tougher competition.  It's an easy call.  Mike Pierce by TKO, round 2.

Mike Fagan: Damn Nate stole my "gave Fitch all he could handle" line.  That's pretty much what it comes down to though.  Mike Pierce by TKO, round 1.

Nick Thomas: I've been very impressed with Pierce since his debut. Pierce by decision.

Leland Roling: Mike Pierce has some distinct advantages in this fight. His training partner, Rick Story, holds a decision win over Paulino, and he could provide unique insight as to how to defeat Paulino. Pierce also has a roughneck style of blasting through opponents, explosively taking them down, and wearing them out over the course of three rounds. Outstanding wrestling should prevail. Mike Pierce via TKO, Round 2.


Jason Brilz vs. Eric Schafer

Luke Thomas: Well, another "I don't know". But I tend to think Brilz is just going to wear down the highly vulnerable Schafer. Brilz by decision.

Kid Nate: Here are two guys I never want to see fight again. At least the loser should be on his way out of the UFC. Brilz has better wrestling, Schafer better jiu jitsu. I predict they'll settle their differences via some really bad kickboxing. Schafer by decision.

Brent Brookhouse:  Schafer will finish if they go to the ground, and can probably win on points if they decide to stand up.  Eric Schafer by submission, round 1.

Mike Fagan: How the hell did Jason Brilz beat Tim Boetsch?  Eric Scahfer by submission, round 2.

Nick Thomas: As soon as this hits the ground, it's over. Schafer by submission.

Leland Roling: I like Schafer here. Brilz is basically going to try to lay on top of Schafer, and he isn't exactly the most damaging fighter on the planet. Schafer should hopefully pull off a submission and end this snoozer. Schafer by submission.

The latest in a (more or less) weekly series of reviews throughout 2010, on randomly-selected episodes of the original Star Trek series, and presented in a "live blog" format as I rewatch the episode. Why? Well...why not?



Tonight's episode:
"Requiem for Methuselah"
third season
episode #76
original airdate: February 14, 1969

Summary: The Enterprise journeys to a supposedly uninhabited planet searching for the cure to a deadly disease afflicting the crew, and hijinks ensue. Oh, and this is the one with the guy they ripped off for Highlander.


The Enterprise arrives in orbit above a small planet in the Omega system (though not one prone to copying the U.S. Constitution verbatim like a bunch of plagiarizing pricks), its crew suffering from an epidemic of Rigellian fever. In order to combat the disease, a supply of Ryetalyn, the only substance known to be capable of curing the affliction, must be found. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy - the only members of the crew with contracts for the entire season, remain unaffected by the disease, and beam down in search of the life-saving mineral.

Once on the surface and - lacking any apparent means of collecting the ryetalyn other than digging it out with their bare hands - Kirk and Company are confronted by some sort of robot drone, which to the untrained eye looks like something that might've escaped from the top of a Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. The drone starts shooting, and somehow disables the landing party's phasers, and is closing in to royally fuck up Jimmy T's day before it's called off by its owner, "Mr. Flint." Flint orders Kirk to get his fat ass of the planet, or else shit's gonna fly.

Duh duh DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Kirk, his manhood questioned, orders Scotty to train all phasers on his coordinates. Suck that, Mr. Flint! The mysterious loner relents, and after McCoy described the effects of Rigellian fever, Flint pontificates about the bubonic plague epidemic that ravaged Constantinople in 1334. Talk about your segues. When asked by Spock if he's a student of history, Flint nods slowly, almost sadly, and answers. "I am."

Nah, there's probably nothing to that.

Flint tells Kirk he as two hours to get his shit and get gone, offering the services of the robot drone, which he calls "M-4" (no apparent relation to the M-5 super computer that was all ate-up with the dumbass in the previous season's episode "The Ultimate Computer"). He then invites Kirk and company to his home for refreshments.

Arriving at the Kaylar's fortress on Rigel VII Flint's castle, the landing party is treated to a quick tour of the place where shit from Antique Roadshow goes to die. Little do they know that as they converse, they're being watched by a hot blonde chick on her kickin' flat-screen TV. Among Flint's possessions on display throughout the front room are a "Shakespeare first folio, a Guttenberg Bible," and a few other choice tomes that form one of the most interesting collections of rare books McCoy's ever seen. Spock further comments about Flint's art collection, which is also as rare as it is eclectic.

We get it. Flint has an eBay fetish.

Elsewhere, Flint is talking with the hot blonde chick, Rayna. She wants to talk to the Enterprise officers, but Flint's having none of that. Her questions to him make her appear as a child. Or is she...something else???.

Nah. Probably not.

Meanwhile, McCoy and Kirk have found Flint's liquor cabinet. Even Spock wants a little Captain in him, expressing envy at the mysterious Flint's art collection. Among the paintings are several apparently unknown works by Leonardo da Vinci. The enigma is that the canvas and paints -- according to Spock's tricorder -- are of contemporary origin. What's up with that shit?

While Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are enjoying the free booze, M-4 arrives with a dimebag of crystal meth...uh...I mean, ryetalyn. Flint arrives, sucking up and trying to make nice after being a total dick earlier, and introduces Rayna to the landing party. According to him, she's the orphaned daughter of a friend who perished and now living with Flint as his ward. As you've probably already guessed, Kirk takes absolutely no interest in her. At all.

Rayna, however, homes in on Spock, talking nerdy to him and wanting to discuss various science-related topics. Flint offers a few activities to pass the time while M-4 processes the ryetalyn. In short order, Rayna is schooling Kirk old-school in billiards, and Spock is continuing his inspection of Flint's collection. Flint tells Spock to play him a song, because he's apparently the only one who knew Spock could play the piano. The next thing we know, Spock's pulling a Billy Joel, "la la la, de de da"ing right along, while Kirk and Rayna audition for Dancing With the Stars<.

McCoy shows up, letting Kirk knows that the crystal meth ryetalyn cooked up by M-4 sucks donkey balls, containing impurities and other crap as often happens when you make this shit in your garage. Flint offers to supervise the collection of more raw ryetalyn and do some breaking bad of his own, and he and McCoy head out to CVS or wherever to get the stuff they need. Spock, apparently not giving a damn about any of that, chooses this point to tell Kirk that the music he just played looks to have been written by the hand of , this time sheet music apparently written by the hand of famed ancient Earth composer Johannes Brahms, though it's on modern parchment. Say what?

Heading to Flint's lab, Kirk is poking around when Rayna shows up, and the good captain sees his opportunity to put on some of The Moves without Flint or Spock to get all up in his grill. She seems distracted, though, checking out a door in the lab that Flint's told her is VERBOTEN! She's troubled about something, but she doesn't know. It's these slow, streeeeeeeeeetched-out scenes that drag down far too many third-season stories which give me time to ruminate on the little things - like how bad Shatner needs a haircut and the nasty hair on the back of his neck trimmed with a straight razor, and the line of the girdle he was wearing under his uniform tunic at this point in the season. Man....my childhood hero has the same middle-aged spread I have. Damn.

Ah, well.

Kirk asks Rayna if she's happy living here with Flint, and she responds with unabashed adoration. For most people, that might be a sufficient answer, but not for CAPTAIN JAMES TIBERIUS BY THE GRACE OF GOD KIRK. Oh, no. Uh-uh. The gauntlet's been thrown down, yo, and Jimmy T knows just what to do next. Pucker up, buttercup. Don't be afraid. I've got candy, and so on.

Well, M-4 shows up, and it's got some shit to say about that.

The drone and Kirk do a little face-off, with Rayna telling M-4 to knock off that shit, but it's not listening. That's when Spock arrives in the nick of time and totally pwns the robot with his phaser. Take that, you Nomad knock-off-lookin' motherfucker!

Flint apologizes to Kirk, essentially telling him, "I should've known you'd be a dumbass, and told M-4 to just let you dumbass away." Then another drone appears, a replacement for the one Spock phaserfied, and Kirk and Flint engage in a bit of macho dick measuring before Flint heads off to check on Dr. McCoy and the processing of a new batch of ryetalyn. When he calls for Rayna to accompany him, she demonstrates reluctance to go with him, and Kirk is none too happy with the way he sees Flint treating her. Spock suggests that Kirk stop thinking with his little head for a while, but Kirk can't figure out the mixed signals Flint's sending with respect to Kirk's interactions with Rayna. "First he hooks us up, then he cock-blocks me. WHAT THE FUCK?"

Hmm...the closed captioning on my TV might be a bit off again.

Anyway, it seems that investigations into Flint's backgrounds are hitting dead ends. Uhura can't seem to find a record of him anywhere, and Spock's tricorder readings note that while Flint's human, he appears to be at least 6,000 years old. Kirk then realizes that something's up with respect to the ryetalyn processing. Is the delay deliberate? Is Flint keeping the landing party around for some hidden purpose?

The mystery deepens when Scotty contacts Kirk from the Enterprise and tells Kirk that there's no one by the name of Rayna Kapec in Federation databanks, no records of Flint being awarded custody of any orphaned child, nothing. Like Flint, she appears to be living totally off the grid. Spock suggests that all of this is secondary to getting the ryetalyn back to the ship, and he and Kirk are setting off in search of McCoy when Rayna appears. She's come to say good-bye, but Jimmy T's not about to leave until he samples the goods, if you know what I mean. He's closing in for the kill, and Rayna is all about all about getting a little Captain in her, if you know what I mean.

What Kirk doesn't know....what likely would dematerialize his little T-rektion if he were to find out, is that his every move is being watched by Flint on his VoyeurVision setup. Ewwwwww!!!!

While McCoy and Spock are trying to figure out where that darned robot is with the processed ryetalyn, Kirk's busy trying to convince Rayna that she loves him and that she should run off with him. She instead just runs off, leaving Jimmy T with a raging pair of decrystalized dilithium crystals, if you'll pardon the shameless Trekified innuendo. Kirk heads to the lab to learn that the ryetalyn's missing and that Flint appears to be jerking them around again. Spock locates it behind that mysterious door in the lab, and Kirk's about to blast it when it chooses that moment to slide open. Moody damned thing, ain't it?

Kirk is about to head inside when Spock suddenly blocks the door, offering to go inside alone and fetch the ryetalyn. Kirk and McCoy, understandably just as confused as the rest of us, ask Spock what's up with that shit. Rather than explain himself, Spock eventually steps aside, thereby extending this already too long episode by another minute for no discernible fucking reason whatsoever. Kirk leads the way into the secret room, and they find...well, another room. It's in there that they find the ryetalyn (three shot glasses' worth? To vaccinate 430 people?), but they also discover something else: androids that look like Rayna. After at least 16 "attempts," Flint apparently has built the perfect woman, with whom Kirk has fallen in love.

That guy. I tell ya.

Flint shows up to explain himself, and that's when it all comes out...Flint is "immortal," having been born on Earth 6,000 years ago and lived under numerous identities down through the centuries: Johannes Brahms, Leonardo da Vinci, Solomon, Alexander, Lazarus, Methuselah, Merlin, Abramson, Russell Nash, Connor MacLeod, etc. He's spent millennia living among friends, family, and lovers, then moving on before the nature of his immortality is suspected. Tired of watching lovers grow old and die, he strove to create an artificial companion, one who like him would not age with the passage of time. He contends that Kirk can't love her, because she's not real...except to Flint.

Why he didn't just order one of those "Real Dolls" from the internet is anybody's guess.

Kirk, realizing that *he's* the one who'll be doing some of that net-shopping, wants to leave, but Flint forbids it. They know his secret see, and he doesn't them to run off and blab to the galaxy that he's here. You see, he hasn't gotten the memo from Zefram Cochrane that these guys are good about not running off at the mouth about where to find famous figures from history who've tapped a keg from the Fountain of Youth. Kirk tries to contact the Enterprise, but Flint pushes a button a remote-control thingamabob he's got in his pocket, and POOF! The ship disappears from orbit!

The next thing we know, Flint's order of a model Enterprise from Masterpiece Replicas shows up. Oh, wait! It's the REAL Enterprise, reduced to the size of a fanboy's wet dream. The crew is trapped inside, shrunk down and frozen in time! Kirk is dumbstruck by this demonstration of Flint's power, but Flint shrugs and says, "Hey, I said I'd make you my bitch. Now suck it."

Kirk demands that Flint release his ship and crew, but Flint's focus is elsewhere. Rayna's emotions are churning you see, and he's got just the prescription for what ails her. Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah. Rayna overhears him, and it's obvious that she's not gonna like hanging with Flint in his swank crib if he insists on being a big ol' meanie to Jimbo and the gang. Flint relents, returning the Enterprise to its proper place in orbit. Kirk realizes that Flint's delaying tactics were deliberate, using the captain to stir Rayna's nascent emotions like the tenth-degree horn dog that he is. Now that Jim's got the pump primed (I know, I'm really going for broke with all these clever euphemisms, aren't I?), Flint's ready to take the conn and (forgive me) go where no man has gone before. (Audience "If you know what I mean!")

Kirk: "But hey! I love her, and she loves me!"
Flint: "Oh no he di-int!"

The next thing you know, Kirk and Flint are in full-on fisticuffs mode, battling for to defend Rayna's honor. After 6,000 years, you'd think Flint would've picked up a move or two. Obviously none of his past identities were Chuck Norris, Steven Segal or Jean-Claude Van Damme. Still, he does a pretty good job tossing Kirk around the room like a gorilla going after an American Tourister suitcase. Observing all of this, Rayna gets upset when she realizes that she's what's driving this testosterone-fest. "Enough of this shit!" she says. She'll be the one choosing where she goes and who she'll be going with. However, the strain of such unchecked emotion for the first time is too much for her. Unable to bear hurting either Kirk or Flint with her choice, she dies.

Later, after leaving Flint's planet, the Enterprise crew has dealt with the plague, and Spock reports to Kirk's cabin to tell him that they're on course for their next assignment. Kirk, in total emo mode, is lamenting the loss of Rayna and his loneliness before he puts his head down on his desk and wishes he could forget the whole thing (We pause here to throw up.). McCoy shows up, and tells Spock that Flint is dying, having sacrificed immortality by leaving Earth and whatever special conditions there brought about his unique existence in the first place. He will live the rest of whatever natural lifespan remains to him and then die.

Once McCoy leaves, Spock reaches over to Kirk and performs a Vulcan mind-meld, helping him to "forget."

(Which of course makes you wonder just what else he's made people forget over the years. Sneaky bastard.)

-----

I'll admit that I'm a sucker for "person out of time" stories, be they variations on Rip Van Winkle or Buck Rogers - where a character suddenly finds him/herself thrown far into the future - or like Flint, who are walking windows into history, having witnessed it firsthand and lived through the proceeding generations in order to be our guides. I dig characters like Connor MacLeod from the Highlander films, Casca the Eternal Mercenary, and even Elias Vaughn, who has lived long enough to experience the major eras of the Star Trek universe.

That said, the potential that came with the creation of the Flint character is largely wasted in "Requiem for Methuselah."

With this episode, we're very late in the game so far as third-season Star Trek is concerned, and it's starting to show around the edges. Like I said before, little details like controlling Shatner's hair have fallen a bit by the wayside, and the number of characters is cut to the absolute bare minimum to get through the episode. The only scenes set aboard the Enterprise are a couple of quick hits on the bridge and the ending scene in Kirk's quarters. Otherwise it's Flint's house. Even with the opening sequence set "outside," it's still just a bottle show, though one that takes place away from the standing Enterprise sets.

The story, again, is a talky affair, though it's at least interesting to listen to Flint recount what we soon "discover" are memories from throughout the thousands of years he's lived. Actor James Daly turns in a commendable performance working with what he's given, his naturally craggy face imbuing a certain world-weary quality into the millennia-old Flint. As for Rayna, the idea of building an android which might one day know what it's like to be human is interesting. Too bad Star Trek never followed up on the story potential there, right? Still, actor Louise Sorel does a nice job affecting a childlike innocence for Rayna, as well as providing subtle hints through word and action that the young woman is not what she at first appears to be. Later, she pulls off Rayna's "awakening" with intense emotion, only straying a bit too close to the line of demarcation for balls-out scenery chewing on one or two occasions. Shatner, on the other hand, has a couple of those classic Shatnerian moments, particularly when he's imploring Rayna to run away with him.

I'll give the writers and producers credit for finding an interesting way to show us the smaller Enterprise filming miniature. It's the original 3-foot model as designed by Matt Jefferies in 1964 and referenced by the model makers who later would build the larger model used for filming the bulk of the Enterprise optical scenes. While the larger model is interred at the Smithsonian, this smaller version has been lost for many years, a bit of TV and Star Trek history that's probably sitting over someone's fireplace. Sharp-eyed fans can see several noticeable differences between the two models, particularly in the shape of the saucer section. This little bit of geekitude is yet another of the many services we try to provide for our readers here at Wayback Reviews Headquarters.

I suppose one could argue that we get a little insight into the Kirk psyche with respect to his relationships with women. Every time we've seen him find someone with whom he could truly be happy - maybe even to the point of giving up that which he most holds dear, command of the Enterprise - it ends in tragedy for him. With that kind of track record, I might consider just going for the one-night stand, too. That, or just move to a cabin in Montana with a dog and a footlocker of beef jerky.

I wish they could've explored Flint's past in greater detail, but lucky for me, I get to write Star Trek novels every so often. Maybe one of these days I'll come up with a cool story where I can use the character. Meanwhile, Flint has made a couple of memorable appearances within the "expanded universe" of Star Trek novels: Federation by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, and The Eugenics Wars: The Rise and Fall of Khan Noonien Singh, Volume I, by Greg Cox.

As for the episode? Middle of the road third-season entry. Eh.

Words by: Kayceman | Images by: Scott Dudelson & Kayceman

SXSW :: 03.19.10 :: Friday :: Austin, TX

Kayceman's Top 3

#3 - Miike Snow

Dr. Dog :: 03.19.10 :: SXSW by Kayceman

Sweden's Miike Snow (no one named Mike, Miike, or Snow in the band) took the stage in black jackets and white masks around 12:30 a.m. From the first subsonic bass rattle it was near impossible to stand still and it wasn't hard to imagine talents like this working with Madonna and Britney Spears, with whom band members Christian Karlsson and Pontus Winnbergwon won a Grammy for Best Dance Recording on "Toxic." These were dance tracks made by a live band that's not afraid to rock. Heavy on hooks and dusted with slightly strange vocals, if things break right for Miike Snow they could find success like Phoenix or Justice.

#2 - Dr. Dog
Dr. Dog slayed a very packed crowd at the Filter Party with their workmanlike charm. Mixing touring staples "The Old Days," "Worst Trip" and "Fate" with a few new numbers, including a cool one that read "Mirrors" on the setlist that chased its own tail with an increasing tempo, everything about this band screams future classic. Bassist/vocalist Toby Leaman was a monster, powerfully belting out vocals and digging his heel deep into the stage to drive the machine. Watching the joy this band finds in their music is contagious and I saw more uninhibited dancing in the crowd at this set than at any other all weekend. It all wound down with a psychedelic gospel rave up that started with a Prince tease and wound up sounding like a relative of My Morning Jacket.

#1 - Big Light Private Hotel Suite Party

Big Light :: Hilton Suite Party :: 03.19.10 :: SXSW by Kayceman

In all my years of attending SXSW I've seen a lot of bands in a lot of very interesting locations. During the fest Austin turns every possible location into a venue and no one thinks twice of raging an abandoned supermarket, rocking in a taco shack, or taking over an airplane hanger. But never have I seen a full-on rock show in a hotel room. Starting at around 1:15 a.m. in a giant suite at the Hilton (the hub of SXSW) Big Light broke new ground at SXSW. Having just covered Big Light in yesterday's review it was not my intention to cover them again; but this party was the stuff of legends. In addition to all the managers, press, booking agents and big wig industry types, the suite (and adjoining rooms) were stuffed with about 100 people including the Talking Heads' Jerry Harrison, Blues Traveler's John Popper, DJ Logic, Papa Mali and the Barr Brothers. We had given the over-under on how many songs they'd actually get to play before security shut us down at around three, but the stars were aligned and Big Light played an entire hour-plus rock show at full volume. The set even included a nice sit-in by The Slip's Brad Barr on guitar. Big Light blew it up and laid claim as a serious buzz band of SXSW. This was easily one of the best parties I've seen at SXSW.

Continue reading for Sarah Hagerman's SXSW Day 3 highlights...

Words by: Sarah Hagerman

Jakob Dylan and Three Legs (Featuring Neko Case) 03.19.10 :: SXSW by Dudelson

Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights
"Baby it's been too long/ Since rock and roll turned you on," Jonathan Tyler cried. 'Nuff said. Fervent believers in the power of music to get our juices flowing, Tyler and his band The Northern Lights had the crowd getting down at The Relix day party at Antone's. Channeling The Black Crowes with touches of Zeppelin, The Lights had a magnetic stage presence, stomping with their instruments and exuding rock star confidence. They are damn good, and they know it, but they're ultimately here to have fun and make your ass move. They were tight as hell too. When the lovely back up singer stepped to the mic for a song, throwing some R&B and hip-hop into the mix that was very Erykah Badu-inspired, the band didn't miss a beat behind her, tying the whole thing together with some Roots-like grooves. I would have liked to see more of her, but hot damn, this was a flat out great show. When they left the stage, Relix Editor-in-Chief Josh Baron wiped his brow as he took the mic, declaring, "I don't know about you, but I just got run over!"

Trampled by Turtles
Some bands just have an uncanny sense of how to write songs that stick with you. Although they get well-deserved props for their cathartic and energetic live shows - you've never seen so much sweat pour from five guys sitting down - it's the songwriting that sets Trampled by Turtles apart. They've got positively addictive hooks, and on quieter numbers, like the beautiful sigh of "Trouble," they let them unwind with a natural ease. This set at Red-Eyed Fly flew by at a breakneck pace. I got a couple personal favorites - "Empire" and a vicious "Burn for Free," plus some killer new material from the upcoming Palomino. Ryan Young (fiddle) and Erik Berry (mando) practically folded into their chairs as they attacked their instruments, red-faced intensity that had the crowd whooping and shrieking. "I like your beards!" I heard someone shout. At this point during SXSW, I've seen enough ironic facial hair to last the rest of my life. But TbT are genuine scruff. You get the sense that no matter how far they climb, they won't ever forget where they came from. It's that grounding that keeps them so real and keeps their music so warm, in the midst of the fury they can unleash when they take that stage.

Quasi
Janet Weiss (of now defunct Sleater-Kinney) is one of the fiercest, most versatile drummers in indie rock royalty. She was flexing serious muscle during Quasi's set at Antone's, pin-sharp machine gun rat-a-tats and crescendos that built to brain-pulping levels. Quasi are pure stripped-down garage adrenalin. They don't fuck around or have a lot of pretension - they keep it lean, but draw it out in decidedly rough lines. Joanna Bolme's bass was chewy, and Sam Coomes' guitar work could break down in anarchy at any moment. Closing out their set with "Bye Bye Blackbird," they destroyed some ear drums as they let it all hang loose, feedback buzzes, squeals, and washes of thick noise.

Velvet Truckstop

Trampled by Turtles :: 03.19.10 :: SXSW

There comes a moment at South by. Your feet hurt. You can't bear to over hear one more name-dropping conversation, or see one more person glued to their iPhone while a band is killing it a few feet away. You are tired of wading through the mess on 6th Street. You are just plain tired, as you're averaging about four hours of sleep a night. That's when you need something to remind you why you're here, and I couldn't have asked for better medicine than Velvet Truckstop. Crammed into a sweaty Nuno's, VT laid down rock and roll salvation of the highest order. With their lofty electric blues, driving southern rock jams, and influences from The Band to Wilco, they gave me, and several others, the will to dance down those last hours until closing time, all fire and sweat. Readers, you need to get acquainted. These cats are cut from some genuine cloth, the kind of band that pulls you through the rough times and sends you out into the night with a romping 'Hallelujah!' Guitarist Dorsey Parker was especially tapped into something huge while he played, making it look so damn easy but one glance at his fingers moving across his axe would leave your head spinning. They got songwriting skills that bow towards the classic, such as the asphalt-scarred "Carolina Way," where Jamie Dose sings about those "Broken dreams and guitar strings" that litter the highway while you're chasing a dream. But you keep pushing on regardless, because you believe in what you're doing. If that's not what SXSW is ultimately all about, then I don't know what is.

Continue reading for more pics of SXSW Day 3...

Images by: Scott Dudelson

Billy Bragg and Wayne Kramer at Ghost Bar

Mike Mills (R.E.M.) at Ghost Bar

Wayne Kramer at Ghost Bar

Audible Mainframe at Spin Party

Billy Bragg at Don't Mess With Texas Party

Frightened Rabbit at Don't Mess With Texas Party

Citizen Cope at SXSW Day Stage

Diane Birch at SXSW Day Stage

Dead Confederate at Little Radio Party

Foxy Shazam at Spin Party

Fucked Up at Spin Party

Rogue Wave at Spin Party

Miike Snow at Spin Party

Wooden Birds at Mohawk

Metric at Stubb's

Emily Haines - Metric at Stubb's

Steel Train at Encore

Click here for coverage of SXSW Day 1. Click here for coverage of Day 2.

Check back tomorrow for more coverage of SXSW 2010...

JamBase | Tejas
Go See Live Music!

Day 135:

A representative of Mikawaya Seimen stopped by this morning to drop off some new samples of noodles that he thought might go well with our ramen. (Wow it feels so good to say "our" when referring to Bassanova. haha.) The first one I tried was a thicker version of the hirauchi (flat) noodles that we use for the green curry. I chose to try them with the green curry tsukemen hearing that they had more of a chew.


Mmm. You can tell right away that these noodles have more color than the ones we use. The added thickness and chew really complement the tsukemen nicely.


I don't think these noodles would work in the ramen though, but it might be good to start using them in the tsukemen. We'll have to think about it.


For dinner, I took a quick break and met up with a friend at Koya, the Tan Tan Men restaurant located down the street from us right next to Shindaita Station.


The interior was very nice and the tea cups were pretty, but the tan tan men...


...now that was a different story. The smell and flavor of sansho (Japanese pepper) was so strong that I struggled to finish it.


But I was with good company in a relaxing atmosphere and that's all that mattered.


Back at Bassanova, we had an extremely busy night that just didn't seem to ever end. It was great. And even though our team chemistry still hasn't fully developed, we handled the rush in stride.

Also, a shoutout goes out to Patrick who arrived from San Diego and came straight to Bassanova after reading my blog. Much appreciated!

Ben sat here for awhile thinking about all these posts, and it may be some time before I could answer, and it may go on in to a books worth. Suffice to say, Part of my heart is still left in Canada, after my first of many travels in my life took me there to such a spectacular country I am sadly yet to return too, but it sparked a real travelling bug in me that has stayed to this day. Canada I thank you for that start, as I have met many many different people from many many different cultural and religious backgrounds from all continents through the years, and how similar we all are, when you take away the oversimplistic view of: What you own and what you do is your status in society. I'm sorry to the person offended by Europes press comments about Canada mentioned earlier also, as our press over here just loves the attack, and no one is usually ever safe for long if at all. Please don't take that as a representation of how everyday people think. And to you Americans, I'm sorry to see you may have a very long road ahead of you all as do we in the UK. But I remember breathing a sigh of relief for your country the day I heard about Barrack Obama winning the election. It bought me and many around me to tears, and not just for the obvious reasons I suppose, but for the fact that Change can and does happen, of which, I still hold those that helped make that change in very high regard. I know it may be difficult to see now, as it's all back to the everyday business of politics, and with his up hill struggle already due to him as he took office, I do feel that with Barrack Obama's medical reform, he may have Bitten a little more than he can Chew. we are all affected by this global affair that has happened over the last year or so, and dramatically too. Except it seems a lot of the Banks that put us there in the first place, and Insurance companies too,who just take our money and use it to pay for Expensive Lawyers to get them out of any and all Claims, (good economics I suppose) I feel so much for you in the US who can't afford the care most of you so deservedly need, especially when most of us in the UK just take it all for granted that we can use any medical service(within reason) for free(subject to waiting lists) It seems our system is not perfect by any imagination(people dying because waiting lists for operations stretch in to years for heart operations etc etc. I could go on) It's gonna be a long road for some it seems in the US, it seems to be a certain demographic too, The everyday Joe, just like in the UK and the rest of the world it's them who will carry the can for all the mistakes made by others. I do hope there is a reasonable outcome eventually to all this, even if it's to start some new medical revolution to oust all these medical insurance scam artists. I shall end my waffle there folks and offer you all the very best. You both (Canadians, and Americans) have beautiful beautiful countries, of which I hope to re visit again soon. Take good care, Much love, abbo

Pakistan gas pipeline is Iran's lifeline

TEHRAN (UPI) -- As Iran braces for another broadside of economic sanctions over its nuclear program, Tehran moves closer to opening up a new lifeline -- a natural gas pipeline to Pakistan and possibly India and China as well.

If everything goes as planned, this much-delayed, controversial project could wreck U.S. efforts to check Iran's expansionist ambitions.

U.S. energy analyst Gal Luft said the pipeline could also "have profound implications for the geopolitics of energy in the 21st century and for the future of South Asia."

Power crisis worsens across country

LAHORE/HYDERABAD — Severe load shedding continued across the country as prolonged power cuts made common man’s life miserable. Hyderabad, Sukkur, Khairpur, Noshehro Feroz, Ghotki, Obaro, Nawabshah, Jaccobabad, Mirpur Khas and Larkana experiencing eight-hour load shedding in urban areas and 18- hour load shedding in rural areas.

The Philippines: Arroyo declares ‘Water, Energy Week’

“The country is now experiencing the impacts of climate change, particularly a water crisis that threatens agricultural productivity, and an energy crisis affecting hydro-powered energy resources that leads to power outages,” the proclamation states.

“There is a need to conserve water, a scarce resource which sustains life on Earth, because our quality of life and the health of our ecosystems, man’s life-support systems, depends on water, which is now being threatened by climate change, over-extraction, pollution and wasteful use,” it added.

Baker Hughes: US Oil, Gas Rig Count Up 20 to 1,427 This Week

The number of rigs drilling for oil and gas in the U.S. climbed this week as producers ramped up drilling activity despite sagging natural gas prices.

The number of oil and gas rigs climbed to 1,427, up 20 rigs from the previous week, according to data from oilfield-services company Baker Hughes Inc. (BHI). The number of gas rigs was 939, up 12 rigs from last week, while the oil rig count was 474, an increase of eight rigs. The number of miscellaneous rigs was unchanged at 14 rigs.

Petrobras Net Rises to 8.13 Billion Reais on Prices

(Bloomberg) -- Petroleo Brasileiro SA, Brazil’s state-controlled oil company, said fourth-quarter profit rose 31 percent on higher crude prices and production. The company will spend $200 billion to $220 billion this year through 2014.

False economic paradigm, false employment, artifical employment

In this ongoing series with economist Mike Folkerth, www.kingofsimple.com, and author of The Biggest Lie Ever Believed, he writes about “When reality comes knocking; be long gone” as it applies to present day America.

Americans continue operating in a 20th century economic paradigm that cannot continue in the 21st century. We think we can grow, consume, grow and consume more.

Some think we can grow more, but consume less, but keep growing. The economist Kenneth Boulding said, “Only economists and fools think we can continue unlimited growth.”

Paul Krugman vs. Reality

Krugman is right about one thing - China's currency peg is destabilizing the global economy and must end. But he fails utterly to understand the implications for the U.S. and China. If China were to reverse its role in the U.S. Treasury market, both economies would be destabilized in the short-term. But in the medium- and long-term, China would clearly emerge as the winner.

Absent Treasury-bond purchases, the value of the Chinese currency would rise sharply, causing goods prices to tumble in China. This long-delayed increase in purchasing power for everyday Chinese will unleash pent-up demand in what is already the largest middle class in the world. Chinese factories would retool in order to produce goods for their own citizens to consume. In RMB terms, commodity prices would plunge, making it easier for China to produce all kinds of stuff, such as automobiles, while also making it cheaper for the Chinese to buy gas. Millions will trade in bikes for cars, and Chinese oil imports will swell.

A Rising Green-Tech Tide Will Lift All Boats

Asia watcher Christina Larson questions the zero-sum mentality in which green-tech advancement elsewhere somehow hurts the United States.

Throwing the Race for Green Energy

We’ve seen the case of the first-mover advantage in other industries. Part of what this depends on is these innovation clusters. We’re [in] Silicon Valley. We can see how important just the spatial dimension of innovation is. There are many different aspects that contribute to the innovation process — and a lot of momentum involved in that process. Once those clusters are established, it increases the barrier to entry significantly. It makes it harder for other countries to compete.

South Korea, China and Japan are setting up these clusters. They’re going to be interacting — not only in their own countries but across borders — in a way that’s going to make it increasingly difficult for the United States to compete. That’s exactly what they’re trying to do. That’s why they’re moving so quickly and so heavily into these sectors.

How guerrilla gardening took root

The history of illicit gardening in Britain goes back centuries, starting with "the Diggers" - a group of socialites in the 17th Century who fought for the right to cultivate land.

China’s Growth Shifts the Geopolitics of Oil

Last summer, Saudi Arabia put the final bolt in its largest oil expansion project ever, opening a new field capable of pumping 1.2 million barrels a day — more than the entire production of Texas. The field, called Khurais, was part of an ambitious $60 billion program to increase the kingdom’s production to meet growing energy needs.

It turns out the timing could not have been worse for Saudi Arabia.

Only two years ago, consumers were clamoring for more supplies, OPEC producers were straining to increase their output, and prices were rising to record levels. But now, for the first time in more than a decade, the world has more oil than it needs.

As demand slumped because of the global recession, Saudi Arabia was forced to shut about a quarter of its production. After raising its capacity to 12.5 million barrels a day, Saudi Arabia is now pumping about 8.5 million barrels a day, its lowest level since the early 1990s.

“2009 was painful for us as it was for everybody else,” said Khalid A. al-Falih, the president and chief executive of Saudi Aramco, the kingdom’s state-owned oil giant, and a company veteran who was promoted to the top post at the beginning of last year. “We experienced the same cash flow constraints that everybody did. But we adjusted quickly and, certainly, everything that was strategic to us was not touched.”

The recession also precipitated a milestone for Saudi Arabia and the global energy market. While China’s successful economic policies paved the way for a quick rebound there, the recession caused a deeper slowdown in the United States, slashing oil consumption by 10 percent from its 2005-7 peak. As a result, Saudi Arabia exported more oil to China than to the United States last year.

China May Be Among World’s Top Gas Markets by 2020, Shell Says

(Bloomberg) -- China may become of the world’s biggest natural gas markets by 2020 as the country seeks to reduce its carbon intensity by increasing the use of cleaner burning fuel, Royal Dutch Shell Plc Chief Executive Officer Peter Voser said today at a forum in Beijing.

Crude Oil Drops Most in Three Weeks as Dollar Gains Versus Euro

(Bloomberg) -- Crude oil tumbled the most in three weeks as the dollar strengthened against the euro, curbing the appeal of commodities as an alternative investment.

Oil retreated 1.9 percent as speculation that Greece may fail to secure financial assistance from the European Union weakened the euro, which is heading for its biggest weekly decline against the dollar since January. Prices also dropped after failing to sustain a move above $83 a barrel this week.

“The market looks like it’s tracking the dollar play,” said Gene McGillian, an analyst and broker at Tradition Energy in Stamford, Connecticut. “It’s also retreating from the $83 level because fuel demand dropped below the five-year average.”

Gasoline Tumbles 2% as Dollar Surges, Fuel Demand Declines

(Bloomberg) -- Gasoline futures slid 2 percent as a surging dollar reduced the investment appeal of commodities and as demand for the motor fuel declined.

Gasoline, which reached a 17-month high March 17, tumbled as the dollar gained 0.6 percent against the currencies of six major U.S. trading partners as of 3:25 p.m. in New York. Motor fuel demand slipped 1.6 percent last week, according to the Energy Department.

Alberta firm eyes Ontario's untapped shale gas

A junior oil and gas company from Alberta has been quietly scooping up land rights in southwestern Ontario, part of an audacious plan to bring Alberta-style exploration to the birthplace of Canada's petroleum industry.

Consider it a rebirth. Calgary-based Mooncor Oil & Gas Corp. wants to develop a resource in Ontario that has been largely overlooked by its rivals: shale gas.

Gas more important than quarrels with Russia: Polish PM

Gas supplies are more important than ideological quarrels with Russia, Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk said Friday in parliament replying to criticism of his government's gas policy by oppositionist Law and Justice (PiS).

PiS caucus leader Aleksandra Natalli-Swiat accused the Tusk team of protracting Poland's dependence on Russian gas by sealing a longterm contract with Russia's gas distributor Gazprom, according to the Polish news agency PAP.

Q&A;: Houston executive speaks for energy industry

Q: Under the Obama administration's 2011 budget proposal, your group estimates there will be nearly $40 billion in tax increases on oil and natural gas production over a 10-year period and predicts a long-term reduction in energy output. Not all the budget is likely to pass, but what is your industry bracing for?

A: We're bracing for all of it. And it does kind of take you aback. In a time like this, when we have record deficits, we've got an economy on its heels, we've got the highest unemployment we've seen in a long time and the oil and gas industry is one of the few industries that can actually create jobs. They can create permanent jobs, they can create high-paying jobs and have done so. It's astonishing that we would try to come forward to that industry and increase its taxes, take cash flow away from it, reduce investment in oil and gas resources in America and, more importantly, costing jobs across America because of that reduction in capital investment. What we're trying to do is not just fight them, but go to Washington to educate members of Congress, educate members of the administration, so that they understand the unintended consequences of their actions.

Cyclone Ului, Approaching Australia, May Strengthen

The stretch of coastline where the cyclone is expected to land is about 1,000 kilometers north of Brisbane. It includes key coal ports and most of Australia’s sugar cane plantations, which generate about A$2 billion ($1.8 billion) in revenue annually. Cyclone Larry wiped out most of the country’s banana crop and devastated sugar cane fields when it hit the Queensland coast in March 2006.

Worst US school disaster passes 73rd anniversary

NEW LONDON, Texas — That infamous March 18 was a Thursday, and launched a swift drive to change the way natural gas is processed and dispensed in the United States.

So many with a direct connection to the London, Texas, school explosion of 73 years ago are gone now, no longer here to mourn the 282 students and 14 adults lost in oil-rich east Texas that March.

But history never really dies in a person, place or thing — especially a painful history. And in this modern-day New London (located about 20 miles west of Tyler, then a bit south), pain is a big part of history.

Many people today are aware of the smell of natural gas — that rotten-egg aroma that alerts us to gas escaping from a stove or a furnace. But that odor wasn't there before March 18, 1937.

Shell defends its operations in oil sands

Royal Dutch Shell PLC, under pressure from a small group of shareholders, has responded to critics' concerns with a report detailing its activity in Alberta's oil sands.

Shell said it published the 17-page report because it shares many of the same environmental and economic worries expressed by the shareholders who are demanding the oil and gas giant provide greater transparency with respect to its operations in northern Alberta.

Orlen to ‘Analyze Options’ for Lithuanian Unit After Talks Fail

(Bloomberg) -- PKN Orlen SA, Poland’s largest oil company, will “analyze other options” for its Lithuanian unit after negotiations with the Baltic country’s government failed to guarantee a return to profitability.

The talks, which yielded a Lithuanian pledge to build a 19- kilometer (12-mile) rail line to improve logistics, “didn’t meet the expectations” of the company, Plock, Poland-based Orlen said in an e-mailed statement today.

UK: Energy firms could be forced to buy low-carbon power

The government will next week signal a move towards the introduction of a "low-carbon obligation" that would force British Gas and other suppliers of energy to buy a percentage of their power from nuclear and clean coal plants.

The radical measure – an extension of the renewable obligation that is funding wind farms – will appear in a document to be published alongside the budget next Wednesday.

Ontario slaps new 'green' tax on electricity bills

Ontario electricity customers will soon be slapped with an additional tax to cover $53 million of the Liberal government's new conservation and green energy programs, the Star has learned.

The levy will appear on hydro bills just as the 13 per cent harmonized sales tax is about to be charged and as smart meters are being phased in, which one industry insider described as "a perfect storm" for consumers already rattled by rising energy costs.

The path to sustainable living here is CLEAR

Alaska's two U.S. senators may soon have a chance to work on a bill that would benefit Alaskans, and many others, in a number of ways. The CLEAR Act is a rare opportunity for bi-partisan cooperation on legislation that will create jobs, reduce carbon emissions and put money into the pocket of every American. Perhaps most surprising of all, though the bill aims to reduce greenhouse gas emissions caused by the burning of fossil fuels nearly 20 percent by 2020, this approach is supported by many oil companies. The CLEAR Act represents a clear way forward, and although this legislation needs some changes, our senators now have a vehicle for strong energy policy they can approve and pass.

City Limits

Municipalities need clear thinking about how the big picture shapes the thousands of tiny challenges inherent in running a local government. Instead, The Carbon Charter uses a bewildering assortment of charts and graphs to tell the reader that climate change is a big problem. I hope this isn't news to anyone.

Worse, the book's introductory material conflates climate change with peak oil. This is a common and serious mistake. Climate change is an assault on our common biosphere, which will be borne disproportionately by the world's poor, while the benefits of the carbon-fuelled party continue to accrue to the world's rich. Peak oil is more about losing the luxury of continuing to live beyond our means. In other words, some of the partygoers are worried that the champagne is running out. These are different problems with different imperatives.

Can Climate Skeptics Be Convinced?

Thomas Friedman, in Hot, Flat and Crowded, proposes that we refer to our time as the "Energy-Climate Era." Friedman's thesis -- that the converging trends of rapid population growth, man-made climate change, and peak oil will define our time -- is well-argued. But events since the date of publication invite a refinement upon Friedman's label for our time.

Town launches its own ‘Hawick Pound’

A BORDERS town has launched its own currency in a bid to revive businesses.

The aim of the “Hawick Pound” is to encourage more people to shop locally amid concerns from traders about competition from big retailers.

Participants will be able to pay for goods from shops with £1 Hawick notes.

About 30 firms have so far signed up to the scheme, which is being organised by the Greener Hawick group.

The measure is connected to Hawick’s status as a “transition town”, the aim of which is to prepare for life after “peak oil” and climate change.

Of Chilly Offices and Space Heaters

One of the biggest culprits in office electricity use may be hiding just under your desk. “The fastest way to chew power up is to plug in a space heater,” said Michael Cation, the chief executive of the energy efficiency company, Smartebuilding, in an interview in Austin, Tex.

“It’s like plugging in a couple of blow dryers on high and letting them run,” he added. But plenty of shivering office workers resort to the devices, even though space heaters are often not permitted.

In one 150,000 square foot building (roughly three times the size of the White House), Mr. Cation’s company, which monitors electricity use in big buildings and offers feedback on how to cut bills, spotted 38 space heaters. In a hot climate like Texas, that means they’re probably on when the air-conditioning is blasting.

Clean Tech Sector Thriving, Survey Finds

The recession has battered investors, but new data suggest that the clean technology sector was largely immune from the global economic collapse.

China speeds up offshore wind power construction

China will give top priority to developing offshore wind power projects to boost its flourishing wind power industry in 2010, according to a senior energy official .

The government would put large-scale offshore wind power concession projects out to tender, said Shi Lishan, deputy director of the New Energy and Renewable Energy Department of the National Energy Bureau at a recent seminar sponsored by Chinese Renewable Energy Industry Association (CREIA).

No uranium sales to India: Australia

CANBERRA: Any Australian uranium sales to Russia would meet nonproliferation requirements, but the government remains firmly against sales to India, Trade Minister Simon Crean said on Friday.

Lebanon mulls long-term renewable energy projects

BEIRUT: Water and Energy Minister Jibran Bassil criticized on Friday the chaotic electricity network available in Lebanon and said that technical and legislative changes need to take place in order to introduce renewable energy in the country.

“We are not ready on the technical and legislative levels but we are committed to deal with these issues and get over with them as soon as possible,” he said, adding that “We need a smart grid in Lebanon.”

Non-renewable phosphorus both a curse and a necessity

We Canadians like to think of ourselves as a resource-rich nation. And it is true -- we are well-endowed with energy, water, land and minerals.

But there is one nutrient necessary to our well-being -- in fact our food security -- that we don't have in plentiful supply, and a new report from the International Institute for Sustainable Development (IISD) warns we are squandering what little of it we have.

That nutrient is phosphorus, a non-renewable resource essential to plant growth. The same phosphorus that is killing Lake Winnipeg through eutrophication.

So which is it -- precious or noxious? The IISD says our management of it makes it both.

... but this is

Canadians who aren't hearing from their federal scientists on climate change have an excellent backup source if they want the latest on climate science: NASA.

The U.S. agency welcomes a chance to talk about its extensive climate research, at the same time as Canada is keeping mostly quiet about its own research.

NASA, unlike Environment Canada, answers calls from reporters without having to get political clearance. And beginning this month, the agency has a new tool for the wider public. Its climate website combines articles, photos, graphs and videos.

States Take Sides in Greenhouse Gas 'Endangerment' Brawl

States took their places in the trenches this week as they joined the court fight either for or against U.S. EPA's "endangerment" finding for greenhouse gases.

Sixteen states asked a federal appeals court this week to become parties in what has grown to be a major legal fight pitting EPA, states and environmental groups against industries, global warming skeptics and other state challengers.

Top-Emitting Countries Differ on Climate Change Threat: Chinese see least threat from global warming; Japanese see the most

Public opinion about climate change across this mix of developed and major developing economies reveals some remarkable similarities and differences, both in awareness and in the perceived level of threat that global warming poses.

Military advises climate change could threaten national security

Military leaders advised state politicians Friday of the dangers of fossil fuel dependence and potential climate change threats.

Is Earth past the tipping point?

Biodiversity loss. Land use. Freshwater use. Nitrogen and phosphorus cycles. Stratospheric ozone. Ocean acidification. Climate change. Chemical Pollution. Aerosol loading in the atmosphere.

A team of 30 scientists across the globe have determined that the nine environmental processes named above must remain within specific limits, otherwise the "safe operating space" within which humankind can exist on Earth will be threatened. Amid some controversy, the group has set numeric limits for seven of the nine so far (chemical pollution and aerosol loading are still being pinned down). And the researchers have determined that the world has already crossed the boundary in three cases: biodiversity loss, the nitrogen cycle and climate change.

It's impossible to remember exactly what I thought of cerebral palsy before I had Max. I'm pretty sure I could only picture a person in a wheelchair, but I'm not sure. I didn't know anyone who had it. I had no idea it could be mild, and I certainly had no idea of the complications it could bring.

Then I had a child with cp.

The words "cerebral palsy" sound pretty awful, don't they? They literally mean weakness (palsy) having to do with the brain (cerebral). The condition is caused by an injury to the brain sometime around childbirth. Max lost oxygen during birth, which is what caused the brain damage and resulting cp. Here's a good description of what cerebral palsy means from The Centers for Disease Control, although geez, how old is the photo of that little girl?!

Having cp basically means your brain doesn't send the right signals to your muscles, so they can be messed up (to use the medical terminology). There are four kinds of cerebral palsy: spastic, athetoid, ataxic and mixed. Max has spastic four-quad cp (another lovely sounding term), so he has increased tightness in all four limbs, as well as his feet, torso and jaw.

I was shocked to discover just how much the cp messed with Max's ability to eat; the tongue, as it turns out, is one of the body's most hard-working muscles. Chewing and swallowing require all sorts of intricate movements that may not come easily to someone with cp. Max sure does love to eat, but food and liquid dribble out. The other main way cp affects him is that he has a fair amount of trouble using his hands. Manual dexterity is a challenge, particularly in his right hand (the brain damage is worse on the left side of his brain). His arms are tight, so swimming is not yet possible. And he cannot speak clearly, because of tongue challenges and because his brain isn't sending his mouth the right signals. He also has cognitive delays.

So there's all the crappy stuff, and then there's the reality of Max. He is a really bright kid who's well aware of what's happening in this world (and who never lets his little sister put one over on him). He likes to learn, and picks up things quickly. The cp hasn't prevented him from walking or riding a bike. The cp hasn't prevented him from playing with trucks, coloring, downing ice-cream or doing all the other stuff little kids love to do. The cp has not affected his incredible determination, his spirit, his sunny disposition, his sense of humor, his fantastic attitude. Max doesn't yet know he has cerebral palsy. Someday, he will, but I'm not concerned it will change his perspective on who he is.

If you don't have a child with disabilities, the cerebral palsy may seem like a tragedy to you. I'm here to say, it isn't. Do I wish he didn't have it? Of course I do. But do I wish that I didn't have a temper? Yes. Do I wish that Dave didn't have such ADD about listening? Yeah. Do I wish that Sabrina was more patient? Yes. We all have our weaknesses, and while Max's may be more involved and more obvious, they're part of who he is.

Cerebral palsy has not defined his life.

The Game Bone may seem familiar – remember the awkward design that we first saw back in June last year? This revamped version is starting to look pretty good to me and will give iPhone and iPod Touch owners real gaming controls consisting of four buttons and a D-pad. The accessory features “a 2000mAh battery for additional [...] Related posts:

1. Give the iPhone a Bone – Chew This One Over [Gamebone Pro]
2. Neurosky Mindset – Mind Powered Game Controller
3. Activision DJ Hero Controller Leaked on Twitter

NCAA Hockey 101 is a weekly feature on U.S. Division I college hockey. Stick around and you just might learn a thing or two.

On Sunday, the NCAA selection committee will announce the field for this year's NCAA tournament and really, things are wide open.

Because we know for sure that each conference champion has an auto-bid, and those are typically won by teams that would have made the tournament anyway, you can usually count on a fair number of at-large berths.

But not so much this year.

Yes, a number of teams that don't technically have spots locked up as you read this -- like Denver and Miami and Wisconsin and BC -- are going to make the tournament for sure, we've got a lot of wacky teams that could end up sneaking their way in.

For one thing, Alabama Huntsville, at 12-17-1, won the CHA tournament last week and is one of two teams from a four-team conference to make have a guaranteed spot in the tournament (Bemidji being the other). Not that it makes any damn sense at all.

Hockey East has the most potential to let an iffy team sneak in. The postseason has been boiled down to BC, again a surefire NCAA invitee, and three bubble teams in Vermont, Maine and BU. All three would probably need to advance to the conference final to really have a legit shot at an at-large bid, Maine and BU moreso than Vermont. But Vermont, by virtue of being the eight-seed, have to beat BC, meaning one of Maine and BU have a much better shot of earning an invitation.

But the most interesting tournament, I think, will be the ECAC's. Thanks to 12-19-4 Brown's giant-killing abilities against both RPI and Yale the last two weeks, this whole thing could go in any direction. The Bears have Cornell (another sure-thing NCAA team) in the semis, which is going to be tough considering they gave up 11 goals to the Big Red in two games this year, but they gave up 14 to Yale so who knows? If they get by Cornell, they could easily dispatch the winner of St. Lawrence and Union, neither of which will make the tournament without an autobid.

And now for the less-interesting tournaments: the CCHA, WCHA and Atlantic Hockey.

The CCHA champion will be one of Miami, Northern Michigan, Ferris State and Michigan. Of those teams, Northern Michigan is a bubble team, but a fairly secure one, and Michigan would need to at least beat Miami in the semis, if not win outright, to really warrant consideration.

The WCHA tournament features Wisconsin, Denver, North Dakota and St. Cloud, four teams that would make the tournament even without the autobid. The only thing they're playing for is a trophy and seeding.

In Atlantic Hockey, one of Air Force, Sacred Heart, Canisius and RIT will be allowed to play in the NCAA tournament thanks to their stupid autobid, because there's no way in hell any would get in via selection. Nor should they.

Realistically, you're looking at anywhere from five to six mediocre or even bad teams playing in a 16-team NCAA tournament and a number of far better teams sitting at home. 

A lot is going to change this weekend, and a lot of fans will be in the right when they complain about it.

Pop quiz

In which I ask a blogger five questions about the team they follow. This week I got at the smart fellows over at The Western College Hockey Blog for their thoughts on the Hobey Baker winner, the NCAA tournament and stupidity thereof, and some future players.

1. Is there any chance at all the Hobey Baker winner will be from an Eastern school?

I think there's a good chance it could happen, mostly because I don't think anyone has really separated from the rest of the pack. Out west, I thought the player of the year in the WCHA was Denver goalie Marc Cheverie, and in the CCHA, Cody Reichard, the goalie from Miami, is probably one of the player of the year favorites. Goalies tend to do poorly when it comes to the Hobey Baker voting because it's kind of become an unwritten rule that you can't just be good, you have to be as good as Ryan Miller(notes) the year he won, and that's tough to do.

I think Gustav Nyquist at Maine would have to be one of the favorites, followed by Brendan Smith at Wisconsin. I'll also throw in a mention for Chase Polacek at RPI, who is a Minnesota kid that was really underappreciated in his high school career, and is kind of flying under the radar now even though his stats prove he belongs in that category.

2. Two teams from the four-team, awful CHA making the tournament: complete farce or total joke?

I got in a little trouble from some people last weekend when I said it was too bad somebody from a real conference was going to get bumped for Alabama-Huntsville. I have nothing against Bemidji and UAH personally but I'm not thrilled with the CHA getting two NCAA tournament bids. Bemidji is a good team, but I don't think they're the seventh-best team in the country.

With UAH, it's all moot now since the CHA tournament is over and will never happen again, but their playoff format was awful. The New York Yankees would have way fewer championships if MLB let every team into the playoffs and made every game single-elimination. When the NCAA let the CHA keep their autobid, they should have required their playoff at least be a two-week process like it is with everyone else.

3. Who do you think is the No. 1 incoming freshman for next season?

I really like Jaden Schwartz who is going to Colorado College. He's been a scorer everywhere he's been, and I'll think he'll be able to put up points at the college level. He broke some scoring records held by Vincent Lecavalier(notes) and Brad Richards(notes) at his prep school in Saskatchewan. Most everyone agrees that defenseman Derek Forbort, who is going to North Dakota, is the most talented player, though like Dylan Olsen this year, I think there's a little tougher transitional period for a big, young, NHL-style defenseman in the college game, and he may not look as impressive to the casual observer. It's kind of a down year for big name kids out east, but BU recruit Matt Nieto has potential as scorer.

4. Are you surprised that UNH, the regular-season champion from Hockey East, might not make the NCAAs?

I'm not really surprised because the math system the NCAA uses puts so much emphasis on the few non-conference games that teams play. The same thing is likely to happen to Michigan State, who finished second in the CCHA. I like that the NCAA tries to be objective with a purely mathematical system, but with so few east vs. west match-ups, there's just not enough data to draw logical conclusions sometimes. It's a really flawed system that probably needs to be reexamined.

5. Who's your darkhorse pick for a national title?

There's such a high level of variance when you're talking about a single hockey game, that just about anyone could win the whole thing, and generally, there's a lot less rhyme or reason to it other than a team, or a goalie, getting incredibly hot at a fortunate time.

If I had to pick, North Dakota is a team that always plays well at the end of the year, and is doing so again. Northern Michigan is another team that is always tough to play late in the year, but usually, they're already out of tournament consideration by this point. I usually pick against teams that don't have much tournament experience, but they could surprise somebody. Bemidji goalie Dan Bakala is good enough to carry his team through the tournament too. Then again, maybe it's just influence from St. Patty's Day yesterday that is making me pick all the teams that wear green.

Ryan Lambert writes about college hockey weekly here at Puck Daddy. You can e-mail him here or follow him on Twitter.

Spring and March Madness have arrived, splashing the city with invigorating rays of glorious sunshine and enticing college basketball enthusiasts to patronize the closest sports bar. Where better to celebrate than a dark, air-conditioned theater? As always, here's a list of some of the finest films currently in rotation at an indie theater near you.

1. The Ghost Writer
Where: Embarcadero Center Cinema, 1 Embarcadero Ctr., 415-352-0835
When: All Week
Why: Roman Polanski's paranoid political thriller, based on a 2007 novel by Robert Harris, is the controversial director’s most compelling work since Chinatown (1974), starring Pierce Brosnan as a disgraced former British prime minister and Ewan McGregor as the writer of his loaded memoirs.

2. The Runaways
Where: Lumiere Theatre, 1572 California St., 415-885-3201
When: All Week
Why: The story of The Runaways – a band of young, born-to-be-wild girls packaged and sold to a world hungry for sexpot rockers – would be compelling enough even if one of them, leather-clad guitarist Joan Jett, didn’t prove herself a star with real staying power. Here, Kristen Stewart plays Jett as the catlike outsider, silently observing but waiting for her moment to pounce. It’s a performance that’s right for the role, understandably deferential to the mesmerizing fury Michael Shannon brings to his role as Kim Fowley, the tyrannical producer behind the music.

3. The Art of the Steal
Where: Opera Plaza Cinema, 601 Van Ness Ave., 415-771-0183
When: All Week
Why: Don Argott (Rock School) asks us to consider the battle raging over the treasures of the Barnes Foundation, and it's an invitation well worth accepting. Founded in 1922 by millionaire art enthusiast Dr. Albert C. Barnes, the Foundation boasts a collection of Post-Impressionist and early Modern art worth roughly $25 billion. The only problem? Barnes left control of it to a small college, on the condition that the paintings never be exploited for commercial gain. Now, the city of Philadelphia, for one, wants to make them a tourist attraction. Art of the Steal is a powerful meditation on public vs. private rights, and, thanks to Argott, fascinating entertainment.

4. A Prophet
Where: Embarcadero Center Cinema, 1 Embarcadero Ctr., 415-352-0835
When: All Week
Why: Winner of the Grand Prix at last year's Cannes Film Festival, Jacques Audiard’s story of a 19-year-old whose life is redefined by six years in prison has been compared in some quarters to The Godfather, and the comparison makes sense on a superficial level. Malik (Tahar Rahim) goes to prison an innocent and leaves a criminal. We are grateful for his survival, but the violence that becomes second nature to him is nothing to celebrate, something Audiard understands. A Prophet is no fairy tale – there are neither heroes nor villains, merely men married to a desperate career path, fighting to eke out an existence. Malik proves better at it than most, but his tragedy is a depressingly common one: To save his life, he must sacrifice his soul.

5. Fantastic Mr. Fox
Where: Red Vic Movie House, 1727 Haight St., 415-668-3994
When: March 19-22
Why: Rather than indulging in endless flights of whimsy, as he did to distracting effect in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) and The Darjeeling Limited (2007), Wes Anderson returns to spectacular form with Fox, his delightfully exhilarating adaptation of Roald Dahl’s popular children’s book. Here, he eschews muddled melodrama for wryly self-mocking humor that never condescends to its audience. It’s a gas from the get-go, and welcome proof that Anderson hasn’t lost his flair for comedy that people actually laugh at.

6. Alice in Wonderland
Where: Sundance Kabuki Cinemas, 1881 Post St., 415-929-4650
When: All Week
Why: Tim Burton began his career as a Disney animator, and given his flair for strangely evocative images, brilliantly invested in movies like Edward Scissorhands, that makes sense. All of which makes you wonder why Alice in Wonderland, his first live-action feature made specifically for 3-D, looks so ordinary. Burton's Wonderland is hardly the definitive adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s story, but his slyly feminist take on the mythology is sweet and engaging without ever seeming vital. Like its incredibly shrinking heroine, it’s a pleasure, but smaller than you might have expected.

7. The Road
Where: Red Vic Movie House, 1727 Haight St., 415-668-3994
When: March 23-25
Why: Whether a movie could be made of Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel about a father and son braving the ruins of post-apocalyptic America was once the subject of spirited debate, and with good reason: John Hillcoat's reverent adaptation may prove too bleak for those seeking tidings of great joy this holiday season, but it is moving, intelligently crafted and perfectly cast. Humanity is depressingly scarce in McCarthy's dismal future, but in the man (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) we find spirits that refuse to be broken, even in a world God has forsaken.

Tim Radford discovers an effervescent enthusiasm and humour in Ian Stewart's mathematical curiosities and treasures that was absent from the morose maths lessons of his schooldays

Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities, and Professor Stewart's Hoard of Mathematical Treasures

In his quiet way, Ian Stewart may have done more for his subject in these two books than he or his colleagues have done in perhaps the previous 10 or 15 books about mathematics I have read. One has to allow for that warmth towards a book just finished, but I might still feel the same a week or a fortnight from now.

There is no story in these books, no moral, no parable, no implied rebuke for my failure to master the calculus or to remember the difference between a prime and a Mersenne prime. There is only delight and amazement, and of course a tiny bit of entirely self-induced guilt at my own sluggard response to mathematical challenge.

For those who haven't yet looked at them, they are ragbags: almost random jottings of little puzzles, jokes, oddities, anecdotes, commonplaces and calculator curiosities collected over a lifetime. Did I read every word? Probably not. Dippers like me do tend to miss the occasional treasure. And no, I didn't try to solve all the puzzles, but yes, I did get some of them right.

I kept dipping into these books when I was supposed to be reading Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs and Steel. I dare say I shall still be picking them up when I get around to finishing Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. The entries are short, comprehensible, delightfully distracting and deceptively frivolous.

When I first opened Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities, the first thing I saw was the story about how the Indiana state legislature had passed a law fixing the value of pi. Why not? My school had in effect implemented a law fixing it at 22/7 or perhaps 3.14 (actually I think the first value was at primary school, the other at secondary school, as we went from fractions to decimals). Given that at some point you have to tell an examiner the area of a circle, you need to settle on a value.

But as Stewart points out, firstly it's a myth – also told about Iowa and Idaho – and secondly, the consequences of a "legal truth" (a legal limit on pi) that isn't in fact a "true truth" would be judicially absurd (turn to Cabinet page 25 for the consequences in theorem form).

Stewart can say this with conviction because, as his entertainments confirm, mathematics exposes the reality beneath the semblance of reality that most of us are happy with. There are hundreds of these confections and all of them are presented with an effervescent enthusiasm and good humour missing from the morose maths lessons of my own schooldays.

Some of the charm comes from the telling. I don't know why those recurring postulants the Great Whodunni and Grumpelina are more palatable starting points than A and B; and why Farmer Hogswill and Pigasus, his prize pig on a rope (Cabinet, page 143) seem more easy to manipulate than a blackboard theorem involving an equilateral triangle, but they are.

The other enticing thing about these books is that they are not just an alternative to the cryptic crossword or sudoku. They contain, in snack-sized servings, nourishing bits of intellectual history: Fibonacci series, Fermat's last theorem, chaos theory, the four colour problem, what Byron wrote about Newton, Euler's conjecture, public key cryptography, the inventor of the equals sign, Zeno's paradox, how the Babylonians handled number, the probability theory of monkeys and typewriters, the square root of minus one, celestial resonance and how the Egyptians did fractions with hieroglyphs (not a problem that I'd ever thought about before).

The entries are not all brief: Stewart's discussion of global warming (Hoard, page 164) goes on for pages, just after what Stewart claims is the shortest mathematical joke ever (but you might quarrel with the word "joke").

And how nice to be in a world where e is a Napierian exponent and not a recreational drug, where sliced bread comes in perfectly spherical loaves, and where proverbs become "tautoverbs". Example: If pigs had wings, they'd have wings; they still wouldn't be able to fly, because aerodynamics has laws to stop that sort of thing, but since this is Ian Stewart, the non-flying pig has to become an "unfeasible porcithopter".

My argument (am I the only one to think this?) is that while a little learning may be a dangerous thing, bite-sized ingestion might help some of us chew gratefully on such provocations. Instead of making a three-course meal of one theme in mathematics, Stewart has served up the instructive equivalent of a Michelin-starred tasting menu, or perhaps a smorgasbord of appetisers. And of course, appetisers are designed to give you an appetite for more.

Sometimes the most arcane dish is spiced with even more arcane flavours: a preposterous anecdote from Snorri Sturluson's Heimskringla (Hoard, page 223) is accompanied by two footnotes on the identities of Olaf, Olof the Treasurer, and Sigrid the Haughty.

I had, of course, come across Fibonacci and Fermat and quite a few other mathematical stars before, often in Stewart's earlier books, but these bits of semi-detached instruction seem a lot more reader-friendly when surrounded by unexpected titbits and not-so-silly jokes. For instance, in Hoard page 139 – between a short history of the square root symbol and a description of the ham sandwich theorem – is a tiny little squib headed "Please bear with me.

Q. What's a polar bear?

A. A Cartesian bear after a change of co-ordinates."

Yes, I'm still thinking about that one.

This is a book club and the February choice was suggested by a member with the cyber-identity EndPseudoscience, and a terrific choice it was too. More suggestions, please.

Some general rules: how about we agree on science, not pseudoscience, science fact rather than science fiction, still in print, available both sides of the Atlantic, ideally in paperback. Of course it should also meet somebody's criteria for a good read.

And in the meantime, since it ticks all these boxes, The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins (left) will be our book for April.

One of the best things about life in our melting-pot region is easy access to many of the world's cuisines. We have it all – well, almost. Examples? Try these:

Luckily, lunch pal Richard and I chose a big table at Korea House, which my friend Dana, a Korean American, insists serves Korean food as authentic as it gets in California. It's her birthday dinner destination, one she chooses each year over Oz, another Korean restaurant not far from Korea House.

Oz has tables with built-in grills for cooking your own food, which is half the fun of dining there (3343 Bradshaw Road, Sacramento; 916-362-9292).

At Korea House, our roomy table came in handy when our server unexpectedly laid out 10 little bowls of kimchi to go with our lunch choices. The kimchi included daikon (radish), potato, broccoli, zucchini, cabbage and bean sprouts. Some were fiery, some not; some cold, some warm. The medley of flavors and textures nicely complemented the main dishes.

Beyond kimchi, Korean food to us means beef short ribs, and the thinly sliced, bone-in pieces of chewy-tender meat were delicious, especially when dipped in the accompanying dark sauce ($8.50).

Our large "Korean-style pancake" studded with bits of seafood (mostly squid) and green onion was lukewarm but tasty enough, if a bit rubbery. The dish ($11.95) is reminiscent of the Chinese "omelet" known as egg foo yung.

The surprise dish was fish casserole with hot bean soup ($10.50), a spicy, deeply flavored broth full of tofu, vegetables and a slab of fresh-tasting bone-in fish. The more we spooned, the better it got.

"You wouldn't have to hold me down to get me to eat this," Richard said.

The menu also offers Chinese and Japanese items, so we tried "don katsu" (a.k.a. tonkatsu, $9.95), the Japanese breaded and fried pork cutlet. It had flavor, but the meat was inexcusably tough. On the other hand, the steamed rice was perfect.

Sushi quest

Sushi restaurants are seemingly everywhere, but not all are created equal. Lunch pal Batiste and I found a new favorite in the beautifully decorated Sushi Cafe, which was jammin' on a rainy Friday afternoon.

We enjoyed a bento box of tender teriyaki steak, luscious sesame chicken, pieces of California roll, steamed rice, salad and miso soup, a bargain at $8.50. We added two kinds of nigiri: maguro (fresh raw tuna) and smoked sake (silken smoked salmon; $4 each). We dipped the fish in a mix of soy sauce and sinus-clearing wasabi; textures and flavors exploded. Here's how good the shrimp tempura appetizer was: We ordered a second one ($4 each).

We'll go back soon; 1221 Alhambra Blvd., Sacramento; (916) 451-6888, www.mysushicafe.com. A smaller sister store is at 4491 Freeport Blvd.; (916) 452-6888.

Midday at the Oasis

El Palmar ("the Oasis") is in the El Camino Plaza a couple of doors down from the estimable Green Jade restaurant (try the fried chickpeas; 916-481-8780).

Lunch pal Kati and I dropped in for a bowl of freshly made guacamole (the nutty flavor was overwhelmed by raw onion, $3.75), camarones empanizados (excellent fried shrimp, $10.75) and enchiladas verde (two shredded chicken-stuffed tortillas splashed with tomatillo sauce, $7.25). If you like your Mexican food mild, this is the place; 2452 Mission Ave., Carmichael; (916) 488-8320, www.elpalmar.biz.

KOREA HOUSE

Where: 9729 Folsom Blvd., Sacramento (near Bradshaw Road, north of Highway 50)

Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. daily

Food: 2 1/2 stars

Ambience: 2 stars

How much: $-$$

Information: (916) 362-5013, www.koreahouserestaurant.com

My dog Figaro (rescue dogs represent!) is snobby about his treats. People are always trying to give him biscuits and he totally ignores them like, “Ahem, I eat chewy molasses treats and spoons of peanut butter like whenever I want; bleh to your dry biscuits!” And the people get all sad and I have to tell them he’s just nervous and I’ll give it to him later, then I give it to a homeless dog with less discerning tastes. But guess what! I’ve found a biscuit treat Figgy LOVES! Cloud Star’s green apple and peanut butter Muttos! They are a two-in-one flavored biscuit and they look so cute that I had to try them out when I saw them at whole foods.

What am I getting at??? VEGAN DOG BISCUIT ROUND UP!

Muttos!
Like I said, Fig’s latest and greatest treat, by Cloud Star. They have two vegan flavors: Peanut butter and apple, and blueberry and oatmeal. Haven’t tried the latter yet but like I said, Figgy loves the PB and apple ones.

Buddy Biscuits!
Cloud Star makes FOUR vegan flavors of these bad boys. Yowza! But these are not as popular as their chewy counterparts in my house because chewiness is next to godliness around here.

Mini Bakes!
Zukes offers one vegan option, the Peanut Butter ‘n Blueberryz flavor. These come HIGHLY recommended by our other resident vegansaur dog, the beautiful Hazel. Other vegan Zuke’s products: Superfood organic dog buiscuts, Z-ridge dental chews.

Just Vegg’n!
This is a fruit and veggie, low-fat biscuit by Old Mother Hubbard that also comes recommended by Hazel.

Peace Prayer Love Bites!
These and all the treats by Bark for Peace are vegan!

Sweet potato rosemary biscuits!
These homemade treats are vegan, as are a number of others that are for sale at ElizabethBeckett’s Etsy shop!

Pumpkin Pie Muffins!
Um, they look really good. Imagine if you toasted them a bit?! Your dog would FREAK. Nice job, Boston Baked Bonz.

Mr. Pugsly’s Peanut Butter Dog Biscuits!
Figgy will actually condescend to eat these occasionally. Also available from Pet Guard are Mr. Barky’s Vegetarian dog biscuits.

Hoppin’ Good Carrot Crunchies!
From Front Porch Pets, the creators of Sam’s Yams, come these carrot cookies. Figgy hasn’t tried them yet but he does like carrots so if I see a package, I’ll buy it!

Organic Oven Baked Dog Treats!
Grandma Lucy’s makes several vegan flavors of these, including blueberry!

All right now kiddies, go buy these for your pups! Or make your own if you aren’t lazy like me! Boy, am I lazy!

$175 of $1,700 raised.

Started raising funds on Mar 16, 2010

The heroes of our story are citizens of the town of Balykchi. They consistently put forth huge efforts in order to lead a decent life. Some of them are the only providers for their families. Kumushay Alieva is the leader of the group. She is a mother of three children: two sons and one daughter. All of the children attend universities, and the huge burden for paying their education contracts lies on the shoulders of Kumushay and her husband. In order to provide the children with education, Kumushay took out a loan in the sum of five thousand som ($100) in 2001 and started selling various goods (seeds, chewing gum, candy, etc.) at a store that she opened together with her husband near their home. She was fortunate to have the store near a school. The sales were very good, and soon Kumushay and her husband were able to increase the goods turnover to twenty thousand som ($450). Their current net monthly profit from the sales is from five to six thousand som. Her husband and daughter primarily work at the store now. Kumushay found a salesperson job at a pharmacy opposite a hospital and receives a salary in the sum of four thousand som ($90). She needed means to increase goods turnover and merchandise variety at their store. This is why she requested this loan. Her group partners are: Elmira Baychoroeva is forty-five years old. Her husband works as a security guard. Elmira has three children, two of whom attend universities. Elmira works as a cook at a café. She needs a loan in order to repay a debt for son’s education. Her son is in his first year of a law academy. Burulush Bekturganova is fifty-four years old. She is a mother of two children. The children are already grown and earn their own living. The son is involved in livestock sales, and Burulush makes national goods to-order. She has consistent customers. Burulush needs a loan to help her son buy several sheep for resale. Rahatbek Dyushenov is thirty-five years old. His wife is a homemaker, and this is why he is mainly responsible for supporting the family. Rahatbek is involved in agriculture. He buys livestock, fattens it and resells it. He requested this loan because he wants to purchase household appliances. Almaz Jakybaliev is thirty-two years old. He has one six-year-old son. In order to provide for his family, Almaz provides taxi services throughout the town using his own car. He is able to make around five-six thousand som per month. Almaz needs this loan in order to repair his car.

Translated from Russian by Anna Sorokina-Hailey, Kiva Volunteer

Recently Received

Books (Poetry)

Chorégraphie, Nature Theater of Oklahoma, hand held editions, Brooklyn, 2010

Lightsey Darst, Find the Girl, Coffee House Press, Minneapolis, 2010

Carrie Fountain, Burn Lake, Penguin, NY & London, 2010

Christian Hawkey, Petitions for an Alien Relative, hand held editions, Brooklyn, 2010

Greg Hewett, darkacre, Coffee House Press, Minneapolis, 2010

John High, A Book of Unknowing, Talisman House, Greenfield, MA, 2010

Geof Huth, NTST, If P Then Q, Manchester, 2010

Joanna Klink, Raptus, Penguin, NY & London, 2010

Jason Koo, Man on an Extremely Small Island, C&R Press, Chattanooga, TN, 2009

Tony Lopez, Data Shadow, Reality Street Editions, London, 2000

Camille Martin, Sonnets, Shearsman, Exeter, 2010

Wesley McNair, Lovers of the Lost: New & Selected Poems, Godine, Boston, 2010

Ange Mlinko, Shoulder Season, Coffee House Press, Minneapolis, 2010

Anita Mohan, Letters to an Albatross, BlazeVOX, Buffalo, 2010

Geoffrey G. O’Brien, Poem With No Good Lines, hand held editions, Brooklyn, 2010

Melissa Range, Horse and Rider, Texas Tech University Press, Lubbock, 2010

Margaret Ronda, Personification, Saturnalia Books, Ardmore, PA, 2010

James Schuyler, Other Flowers: Uncollected Poems, edited by James Meetze & Simon Pettet, Farrar Straus Giroux, New York, 2010

J. Michael Wahlgren, Valency, BlazeVOX, Buffalo, 2010.

 

Books (Poetry Anthologies)

Carrie Etter (editor), Infinite Difference: Other Poetries by U.K. Women Poets, Shearsman, Exeter, 2010. Includes Sascha Akhtar, Isobel Armstrong, Caroline Bergvall, Elisabeth Bletsoe, Anne Blonstein, Andrea Brady, Emily Critchley, Claire Crowther, Carrie Etter, Catherine Hales, Frances Kruk, Rachel Lehrman, Sophie Mayer, Marianne Morris, Wendy Mulford, Redell Olsen, Frances Presley, Anna Reckin, Carlyle Reedy, Denise Riley, Sophie Robinson, Lucy Sheerman, Zoë Skoulding, Harriet Tarlo, & Carol Watts.

Lara Glenum & Arielle Greenberg (editors), Gurlesque: the new grrly, grotesque, burlesque poetics, Saturnalia Books, Ardmore, PA. Includes Ariana Reines, Brenda Coultas, Brenda Shaugnessy, Catherine Wagner, Cathy Park Hong, Chelsey Minnis, Danielle Pafunda, Dorthea Lasky, Elizabeth Treadwell, Geraldine Kim, Heidi Lynn Staples, Kim Rosenfield, Matthea Harvey, Nada Gordon, Sandra Lim, Sarah Vap, Stacy Doris, Tina Brown Celona & a portfolio of visual artists (Hope Atherton, Kara Walker et al).

 

Books (Other)

Lynn Keller, Thinking Poetry: Readings in Contemporary Women’s Exploratory Poetics, University of Iowa Press, Iowa City, 2010

Gary Lenhart, Another Look: Selected Prose, Subpress, New York / Oakland / Honolulu, 2010

 

Journals

Poetry, January 2010, Chicago. Includes Vera Pavlova, V. Penelope Pelizzon, Fanny Howe, Timothy murphey, Donald Hall, Michael Hoffman, Steven Seymour, Mary de Rachewiltz, Joshua Mehigan, Andrea Cohen, Nate King, Carmine Starnino, more.

Poetry, February 2010, Chicago. Includes Martha Zweig, Joshua Mehigan, Spencer Reece, Robert Hass, Bob Hicok, Kay Ryan, Robert VanderMolen, Sam Willetts, Susan Kelly-DeWitt, J. Allyn Rosser, D.A. Powell, Michael Hoffman, Patty Seyburn, Eleanor Wilner, Fiona Sampson, Robert Bly, Clive James, Durs Grünbein, more.

Zen Monster, vol. 1, no. 2, Winter 2010, Elberon, NJ. Includes Alice Notley, Gary Snyder, Bernadette Mayer, Kristin Prevallet, Bill Berkson, Barbara Henning, Susan Bee, Lewis Warsh, John High, Anna Moschovakis, Michael Rothenberg, Murat Nemet-Nejat, Patricia Pruitt, Simon Pettet, Edward Foster, Bill Kushner, Andrea Clark Libin, Ammiel Alcalay, Mark Terrill, Charles Thorne, Hoa Nguyen, Denise Newman, Charles Rue Woods, Robyn Ellenbogen, Shin Yu Pai, John Bailes, Lisa Bourbeau, Affinity Konar, Christopher Sawyer-Laucano, Edgar Oliver, Joan Tick, John Sarsgard, Kara Levy, Ryan Gallagher, Douglas Elsass, Adrienne Leban, Brent Armendinger, Carol Radsprecher, Cralan Kelder, Emma Bee Bernstein, Kathy Polenberg, Michael Dairyu Wenger, Robert Schefman, Tom Morgan, Todd Watts, many more.

Oprah says that every woman has a little crazy, but most of us wait six months to flaunt it.

I agree. And further, I find it most depressing when I blame it on “that time of the month” only to realize I don’t have a visitor scheduled for another week.

So to this end, I have an idea to help reduce the crazy from one aspect of our lives: relationships.

First, let’s take a quick trip back to kindergarten. Don’t complain. WE HAD NAPS THEN.

My teacher’s discipline system revolved around different colored cards. If you were good, your card stayed on green. If you snuck gum into school, your card turned to yellow. If you stole candy from the teacher’s desk while chewing gum, your card went to red. And so on. Each card turn earned you a few more minutes by the fence during recess and a few less opportunities to bust your forehead by misusing playground equipment.

I want to apply this system to relationships.

Not sure if that “joke” during lunch was well-received? Check your card.

It’s February 14^th and somehow you didn’t notice the giant ass balloons in every store for the last month? Take a look at your card around noon. Maybe you’ll notice the bright red instructions to run to your closest CVS and grab a teddy bear.

Just make sure you’re not by the fence too long. Recess isn’t much fun without someone to play with.

*I went by Jennifer in Kindergarten because I was too shy to tell my teacher I preferred ”Jenny.”

Wieland serves as the Director of the Panorama section and the Teddy Awards.

He has worked at the berlinale for 30 years as a programmer, was appointed head of Panorama in 1993 and has managed the Teddy awards ever since. His first film was shown at the berlinale in 1981. 

Wieland has lived in Berlin since 1982.  He studied drama, literature and ethnology and worked on numerous video and film projects with an early focus on the men's movement and homosexual identity. Among other relevant biographical entries are, managing an independent art house cinema; studies at the San Francisco Art Institute; and positions in several film institutions. As a director,  actor , writer or editor he has been identified with acclaimed television and film productions, including , but not restricted to,  Die Erika and Klaus Mann Story (Escape to Life), Among Men, Zimmer 303,  Die Wahre Geschichte von Maennern und Frauen (The True Story about  Men and Women),  Die Venusfalle (The Venus Trap), and Westler ( East of the Wall).  

 

The berlinale  was the first  A type international film festival with  official awards , the TEDDY , for the best lesbian, gay, bi- and transsexual films. This award is the most important global award for queer films and has been granted for the last twenty four years.   Modern film history could not be written without paying tribute to those honored with the TEDDY, including to date Pedro Almovar, Gus Van Sant, Derek Jarman, Todd Haynes , Helmut Berger and Tilda Swinton to name but a few.

 

 

Claus Mueller:         What are the most important changes compared to last year?

Wieland Speck:       Because of the berlinale 60th birthday we included several films from past years, a return to history which is also part of the zeitgeist, a fruitful coincidence. We had numerous fiction and documentary films dealing with the past, yet not in a nostalgic or indulgent perspective. Rather we start [in these productions] with the present. And now in the present there is a sense of discomfort and this discomfort arises not from the present being so bad but more from a sense that we do not know what will happen tomorrow, from our uncertainty about the future. Thus the fear of the future brings people to look into the past more creatively and ‘pulling up the carpet'

 

CM:     Does this dynamic also hold for the TEDDY selections.

WS:    I see this tendency in all kind of films. I just discussed CUCHILLO DE PALO (Renate Costa} from Paraguay [searching for tracers of an uncle's life] which reflects perfectly this perspective.

 

CM:     What about new discoveries?

WS:    Actually his was the year of discoveries, there were less ‘stars' one knows, and a certain mediocrity of films noted in earlier years was missing. There is greater bravery in film making, also among American Independents, content to chew on which motivates us, and there were many post screening discussion which reflected this vivid year. In our program there are 18 first [time film maker] films, not that we looked for such films, but it turned out that way. There are also film makers who have been with us for a long time and who have come back with interesting subject matters.

 

CM:     Let me go back to a question which we discussed earlier and also considered by major film festival directors I spoke to. Low cost production and post production technologies generate each year a greater number of film productions but there seems to be no parallel increase in high quality films. What is your take on that issue?
WS:    I would say the same thing. We are limited in the number of films we can show and there is a short list of films [from which selections for the final program are made]. In light of the growing number of productions one would think that our short list should be much longer, yet the number of films on that list has remained the same over the last years.

 

CM:     How many films were actually submitted to Panorama?

WS:    A little bit over 3000, the total number for the berlinale, including shorts, exceeded 6000 and that is growing each year

 

CM:     Sundance sales seem to show that there is an increased demand for low cost productions. Are there similar tendencies in Berlin?

WS:    Well if you look at the European Film Market, there are fewer buyers going for medium budget films [($10-$50 million range] and more for low budget films. In the berlinale programs we have also a larger proportion of small films. From the perspective of the berlinale as a cultural event, this is a good tendency.

 

CM:     Do you agree with Geoff Gilmores observation that [in our weichei - soft headed Society] there seems to be a decline of creative content? Note that one of India's most prominent media executives, Uday Kumar, the chief of Reliance MediaWorks North American operations, does not believe that India has that problem.

WS:    First it is not the question of the absence of talents which are always there. It is more the question of what is supported. In the private and in the public [sponsoring] sectors you have people all over who must profile themselves and who act as if they know what is really good within a quasi democratic process that is really not democratic. This results in whatever is radical to be pushed to the middle. Thus it is not the question of [the quality] of what someone has written rather how external people who sponsor perceive of it.

 

CM:     Is that part of the prevailing spirit?  It reminds me of a statement of Michael Jay Solon more than 20 years ago identifying the absence of original concepts as the principal    problem of the commercial film industry.

WS:    Well it is a bit difficult. In principle we live in the age of plagiarism, quoting constantly other sources and experiences and

 

CM:     float on the surface with second-hand experience. We receive copies of copies and observe the decline of authenticity and real life experiences.

 WS:   Yet the reaction to this second hand [commercial] story and film telling is the enormous and unexpected success documentaries have today. And it would be great if Americans could develop more interesting forms from documentary story telling away from the mélange of multiple layers of music and talking and the rapid cutting which no one wants to see and is better suited for television. We have several here because of their content and the berlinale birthday celebration, yet that mode of documentary film making is dead.

It is the zeitgeist which puts the opportunists in front row and they are shitting in their pants while performing as cool individualists. It is not the absence of creative content which makes our times dull. Creative content is always there and it is our job to bring it to the foreground even it is against what the zeitgeist demands.

 

CM:     This also applies also to independent as distinct from commercial productions?

WS:    Yes

 

CM:     We have the emergence of new technologies such as 3D and its likely rapid spread (e.g., via 2D to 3D conversion) not to speak of Japanese patents on smelling what we see, sort of an electronic polyester or odorama. Will this close to complete representation of reality lead to a greater audience addiction to the visual medium?

WS:    This will all just be fun, soon forgotten again and reinvented in due time.... Sort of Luna Park pacing.... And the impact of these new technologies on independent film making will be marginal.

 

CM: On that note, the future looks more appealing.  Thank you.

 

 

 

Claus Mueller, New York Correspondent

filmexchange@gmail.com

cmueller@hunter.cuny.edu        

 

 

This rook has more skills than half the Assocation.

Oh, what a night!

Tonight -- and thanks in large part to Twitter -- I made the following revelations...

• Hey, Larry Ellison, you know what? Maybe the Warriors are worth whatever Chris Cohan's price tag is ($315M on $110M in revenues and profitability of $12M?).
• Based on the past few games, maybe the Warriors just need to go balls out in the Draft with bigs? There should be a plethora of quality bigs available this summer.
• Are there really that many Laker fans in the Bay Area?
• Rickey Henderson looks old.
• Tony.psd needs to do a Chewbacca-like cartoon rendition of Pau Gasol.
• Monta Ellis blowing by Kobe proves that he has one of the most, if not the most, explosive right-handed attacks in the league. That being said, I don't know how you can trade him.

For this recap I'm gonna go bleeding edge on ya. See, ever since the opening night experiment I've been feeling my way through Twitter. And over the past few months, it dawned on me. It's hard to explain, so I'll let Nate Jones of AOL Fanhouse sum it up (I found this article after-the-fact)...

Twitter has quickly become the NBA's version of Cheers. You know, the place where everyone knows your name and they're always glad you came. No, Twitter isn't some fictional sports bar in Boston, but it is a virtual sports bar where NBA fans, players, team personnel, player agents and NBA writers all congregate to talk about the sport. The NBA recently released a tool called a "game companion" which you keep open while you're watching the game. However, everyone in the know understands that the real game companion is located at twitter.com.

Because I write about the NBA and work with NBA players on social media I try to follow every single person with some sort of connection to the NBA. Following all of these people has made the experience of watching an NBA game that much more fun. I get the communal sports bar experience without having to go around a bunch of drunks that don't really know what they are talking about...It's created a virtual sports bar where people that actually watch and understand the game come to talk about that night's happenings. When I'm watching a game I always have Twitter open. The stream of information that pours out on game nights from these NBA junkies makes the game experience that much better.

Using my @nbalivetweet account, which I use to follow a very pared-down subset of GSoM's twitter account, @unstoppablebaby, for tonight's game, I've taken the tweets of the better Twitterers out there, two that follow the Warriors and two that follow the Lakers...

• @gswscribe, Marcus Thompson, beat-writer for the Contra Costa Times,
• @GeoffLepper, Geoff Lepper, who covers the Warriors on NBA.com,
• @KevinDing, Kevin Ding, beat-writer for the Orange County Register, and
• @LakersReporter, Mike Trudell of Lakers.com

Incidentally, most of these beat-writers get courtside seats and are within earshot of the team benches. They generally do a good job of sharing their access via Twitter.

Before I begin, has there ever been a recap written like this? If not, remember where you saw this first!

Here are the quarter-by-quarter tweets, which is essentially the recap...

FIRST QUARTER HIGHLIGHTS: There's that many Laker fans at Oracle? Anthony Tolliver for three!

LakersReporter Hello from Oracle Arena in Oakland, folks ... Warriors still come out to 50 Cent's "Get Up," which we like.
KevinDing Game nearing tip-off and Brian Shaw (Oakland native) is still waving to tons of people in crowd. Friend of everyone in Oak and entire NBA.
geofflepper #GSW start Chris Hunter and Anthony Tolliver in an attempt to deal with Lakers' imposing frontline.
LakersReporter An impressive amount of Lakers fans yet again in Oakland, though the Warrior fans remain easily among the league's best.
geofflepper Hunter gets completely free on S/R with Ellis, dunks. Bynum and Kobe look around at Pau and Fish, wondering where was weakside help. #GSW
LakersReporter Lots of offense early, Golden State holding a 11-8 lead on 4-of-6 shooting despite 2 straight Gasol - sans braces - buckets.
gswscribe I wonder if being defended by someone undersized and really quick makes Kobe a tad uncomfortable
gswscribe No exaggeration. Lakers fans cheering louder than Warriors fans at Oracle Arena tonight
gswscribe Curry and Ellis 0-for-5 combined, but all good looks and good strokes
geofflepper Anthony Tolliver's 3-point shooting, which started so slowly (missed 26 of his first 31 as a #GSW) is coming around. He's 2-2 so far tonight
KevinDing Maggette just lost the handle trying to make a move. Kobe knows how that feels. We've underreported how index finger affects Kobe's handle.
gswscribe Chris Hunter is good against really big centers. He's just big enough that he is physically an obstacle
LakersReporter L.A. started the game 6-of-6 from the field and 3-of-3 from the line, but 3 TO's & 2 G.S. 3's have the game tied at 16.
LakersReporter Since the 6-of-6 start, L.A. has missed 6 straight. In unrelated news, Bynum has completely shaved his head, if you didn't notice.
gswscribe 16 all, 5:23 left in first. Both teams 6-for-12 FGs. Kobe 5 pts and 2 ast. Ellis 0-for-3 but has 4 of 6 Warriors asts.
KevinDing While Phil goes over clipboard in timeout for starters, DJ is advising Sasha on how much he should mess up his hair. Seriously.
LakersReporter We know that G.S. has a slew of D-Leagers playing due to a plethora of injuries ... 1 of 'em, A. Tolliver, is 3-of-3 from 3 so far.
gswscribe Anthony Tolliver is 3-for-3 from 3. He entered tonight at 33.3 percent
geofflepper #GSW shooting 60 percent, have committed only 1 TO and still can do no better than a tie game at 23-all with LAL. Lakers are just scary good
KevinDing Pau earlier looked at coaches and gave shrug/palms up after Tolliver 3. RT @The_GodfatherX: @KevinDing Who the F is Anthony Tolliver?
LakersReporter It's been a fun game for those that enjoy offense, L.A. going up 30-23 thanks to back-to-back 3's from Artest that Kobe loved.
gswscribe Kobe just took over at Ellis' expense. Went right at Ellis 3 straight, twice kicking it out for an easy J. Plus he stripped Ellis once
geofflepper Kobe drives from R wing, blows past Hunter, leaves Ellis sprawled on floor, fires across to Artest for the open 3. LAL 30, #GSW 23.
KevinDing Early in this timeout, Sasha is acting like DJ's chest and now his face is a speed bag to punch.
KevinDing Anthony Morrow in for Warriors. He has made 13 of his past 19 3-pointers. Let's see if Lakers identify him.
LakersReporter Just nailed one. RT @KevinDing: A. Morrow in for Warriors. He has made 13 of his past 19 3-pointers. Let's see if Lakers identify him.
KevinDing Sure enough ... Lakers D fails to rotate second time. Morrow moves to 14 of 20.
gswscribe Lakers made first six shots, missed next six shots, then made next six shots ... make that next seven
gswscribe Warriors frontcourt: 11-for-11. Warriors backcourt 1-for-9
KevinDing Really concerted effort at running triangle so far (and GSt D makes it easy). LAL will finish Q1 with 13 assists on 14 FGs.
nbalivetweet Pau Gasol has definitely mastered the yell-as-if-i-got-fouled technique.
LakersReporter A solid 1st quarter for Gasol ... other than at the free throw line. He has 9 pts on 4-of-5 FG's w/3 reb, but 1-of-4 FTs.
LakersReporter Both Bryant & Artest had 4 assists in the 1st Q that L.A. finished up 39-32, 4 guys w/at least 8 pts & Odom w/5 off bench.
geofflepper END 1Q: LAL 39, #GSW 32. Strange days: W's frontcourt (Maggette, Tolliver, Hunter) 10-10 FG. Ellis/Curry 1-10. Gasol/Bynum 17 combined PTS.
LakersReporter Gasol actually went 1-of-5 in Phoenix last game from the stripe, making him 2-of-9 in last 2 ... but he's still near 80% on season.
gswscribe End of 1st: Lakers 38, Warriors 32. Kobe 9 points, 4 ast. Artest 8 points, 4 ast. Hunter/Maggette 8 each

SECOND QUARTER HIGHLIGHTS: CJ Watson looks like an all-star, makes Derek Fisher fall like a domino

nbalivetweet Phil Jackson at ESPN betw qtr interview: "We have to move the ball around perimeter and get to our big guys, Warriors have good help."
KevinDing Sasha at least got a pat on butt from Phil after being benched 32 seconds in.
gswscribe Monta (0-7 FGs) is getting good looks, but my HS coach would tell him to get a lay-up or FTs to get going. Don't just keep shooting Js
LakersReporter Offense continues to come easily for L.A., already to 42 points w/8:42 left in the 2nd, but they've conceded 39 to G.S.
KevinDing Remember how Artest's conditioning was sub-par after his Xmas concussion? He just played the 1st 15 minutes without a breather.
nbalivetweet Wow, Monta Ellis just took Kobe from top L, RH one-handed show ball, scoop.
LakersReporter A very active Lamar Odom it's been tonight. He has 9 points with 5 boards and an assist in 10 minutes.
geofflepper Assuming it's a sellout (almost a certainty), it will be just the fourth out of 34 #GSW home games: HOU (opening night), LAL (twice), CLE
nbalivetweet Mark Jackson on ESPN: "Great crowd, they've been appreciative of the franchise." Um no, Mark. Appreciate the TEAM, despise the FRANCHISE.
LakersReporter With knowledge of the smallish Warriors front line, Odom's camping out on the baseline for easy off. rebounds. It's working.
nbalivetweet So Monta just took it down the lane RH again. Explosive. Most explosive RH in the NBA?
gswscribe He took one rushed FG. Rest open pull-ups & drives @espnaranas good looks? you kidding me? I guess we know who u want this team built around
nbalivetweet Don Nelson doing some good instructional coaching to Steph Curry and Anthony Morrow.
LakersReporter Lakers are getting good balance on offense: 8 shots from Kobe, 6 from Pau, 5 from Artest, 4 from 'Drew, 4 from Odom.
nbalivetweet CJ Watson nice shake n bake, foul on floor, he makes layup hi off backboard, waved off. Not waved off if it were Kobe?
KevinDing Fish just wiped out trying to hang with CJ Watson on drive. Maybe he'll switch back to Kobe's shoes again.
nbalivetweet CJ Watson breaking ankles! Down goes Derek Fisher like a domino.
gswscribe Every time C.J. Watson comes into games, you know he's in the game.
nbalivetweet CJ Watson jumper R elbow, playing like an allstar, 3:00 to, Lakers 57, Warriors 56. Then attacks once more and goes to line for 2 FTs.
gswscribe Lakers 57, Warriors 56, 2:56 left in second. Monta Ellis 8 assists in 21 minutes despite 2-for-11 FGs.
nbalivetweet I dunno, things are going too well. I feel like a 3rd- or 4th-qtr collapse is imminent. Can the Warriors keep this up?
KevinDing Kobe goes over to Warriors bench to chit-chat with Ronny, who is sitting next to Radmanovic and Raja Bell.
LakersReporter L.A.'s coaches weren't interested in playing Golden State's up-and-down style, but we've seen it so far. Better D in 3rd Q?
LakersReporter Lakers doing exactly what Jackson warned against: turning the ball over leading to G.S. run outs. 10 TO's already, G.S. up 59-57.
geofflepper C.J. Watson steals an ill-advised X-court pass from Bynum, goes C2C to give #GSW the lead back at 59-57. Then LAL gets hit w/3 sec call.
nbalivetweet I'm gonna go out om a limb and say it. The Warriors ARE worth the price Cohan is asking. Bec of these fans. He still sucks at winning tho.
nbalivetweet CJ Watson greatly adding to his eventual free agent stock. Full court steal. Warriors 59, Lakers 57, under 2:00.
geofflepper Monta passed up a 3-point corner shot w/Kobe playing him very loose, in favor of driving baseline to try and get on track. Didn't work. #GSW
KevinDing Halftime: Lakers have 15 turnovers (-> to 17 Warriors points). Warriors have 3 turnovers (-> 3 Lakers points). Yes, this is giving it away.
geofflepper END 2Q: #GSW 65, LAL 59. W's end half on 11-2 run, w/5 from Watson. Hunter 16 PTS, 6 REB. 4 Lakers in 2x figures, but 15 TOs for 17 W's PTS.
LakersReporter G.S. closed the 2nd with a 13-3 run to take a 65-59 lead into the half, keyed by 15 L.A. turnovers. 33-20 in 2nd Q scoring.
nbalivetweet Kobe stripped, time winding down before half buzzer, of course he argues w ref. Despite his talent/skills/rings, still a primadonna. :-(
LakersReporter The 6-point halftime deficit isn't exactly daunting for L.A., who shot 58.3% & took 20 FTs. Just need to hold onto the ball.

THIRD QUARTER HIGHLIGHTS: Kobe turnovers, Steph gets hot, Monta bricks, Sasha please sit down

KevinDing Gasol comes right out of locker room at halftime and goes straight to foul line to work on that stroke. He is 4/8 on FTs.
nbalivetweet Pau Gasol has definitely mastered the yell-as-if-i-got-fouled technique. Oh wait, I said that last half.
geofflepper Kobe commits TO No. 6, Curry scores on ensuing 3-on-1 break to open the second half. #GSW
geofflepper Curry just pulled up in transition, held the ball top-key until Gasol left him to cover Tolliver, and drilled the 3. #GSW
geofflepper "M-V-P" chant starts with Kobe at the line, but then is drowned out by boos. #GSW
nbalivetweet Soooo many Laker fans live in the Bay RT @geofflepper: "M-V-P" chant starts with Kobe at the line, but then is drowned out by boos. #GSW
KevinDing After calling Gasol over to confer about strategy in timeout, Artest goes down bench to slap hands for camaraderie w/all other starters.
nbalivetweet Andrew Bynum just too long. Missed finger roll, tap putback. Anthony Tolliver can't play better D than that. Timeout Don Nelson.
geofflepper Four guys were listening to Nellie/Keith Smart during that last timeout. And then there was Monta Ellis. #GSW
nbalivetweet On ESPN broadcast, Mark Jackson going with Tyreke Evans as ROY, over Steph Curry and Brandon Jennings.
LakersReporter Lakers D has garnered 3 straight stops out of a timeout, with 3 straight hoops at the other end to turn a 3-pt. deficit upside down.
nbalivetweet Corey Maggette misses another worst-shot-in-bball. Take 2 steps back, son, and you're Rashard Lewis. Simple.
LakersReporter Make that 4 straight stops and 4 straight FG's for a 79-74 lead (8-0 run). Gasol's up to 18, Kobe 16, Bynum a 14-10 double-double.
KevinDing All those turnovers didn't hurt Lakers FG%. They've topped 60% (60.4) midway through 3rd; on pace for 126 points.
nbalivetweet Heather Cox on ESPN: "Don Nelson said Steph Curry does the 4 things right...The only thing wrong with him is he's a rookie, still a pup."
gswscribe Warriors frontline getting worn down by Gasol/Bynum/Odom - combined 47 pts, 17-23 FGs, 24 rebounds
LakersReporter It's odd that Corey Maggette has 16 pts without a single trip to the foul line. He's always among league leaders in FTA's.
LakersReporter For those of you unable to watch, L.A.'s up 83-78 w/4:09 in the 3rd Q. RT @deancortez: @LakersReporter wats now the score?
nbalivetweet CJ Watson still on bench and not much happening from Monta Ellis. Lakers 83, Warriors 78, 4:09 3rd qtr.
LakersReporter The Lakers have gone on a 20-5 run since Steph Curry's 3-pointer put G.S. up 9.
nbalivetweet Amazingly, Derek Fisher waltzes to the cup unmolested out of the timeout. Not watchu wanna see.
geofflepper Ellis, leading 3-on-2 break, kicks it over to Curry for Lwing 3-pointer. And he didn't even hold his nose while doing it. #GSW
gswscribe Ellis up tp 10 assists. Curry up to 17 points on 6-for-11 shooting with 6 assists.
nbalivetweet Beautiful swish trey L elbow Stteph Curry, assist Monta Ellis. I could watch him shoot for hours.
gswscribe Ellis 2-for-16, still taking jumpers. They should post him up.
nbalivetweet Derek Fisher 3-ball corner pocket off rim but foul called on Steph Cury. Questionable. Bottom line: momentum killer. Learn from this, rook.
LakersReporter A not-so-good stat: Kobe's up to 7 turnovers for the 2nd straight game. His high for the season was 8, @ CHI in Dec.
geofflepper #GSW offense has cooled (or, LAL D has gotten warmer): W's 8-19 FG this quarter, down 92-85.
KevinDing Standing next to ref, Gasol was looking up at scoreboard for replay to see if he hit CJ Watson in face (Pau's new thing!) but missed it.
nbalivetweet Pau Gasol slaps CJ Watson in face, down in pain. Foul. Luv how Gasol never thinks he fouls anyone. That and Chewbacca grunts. So likable!
KevinDing And thought he was fouled on each one tonight. RT @LakersReporter: Kobe's up to 7 turnovers for 2nd straight game. High for season was 8.
LakersReporter Bryant is the exact opposite of happy after not getting a foul called on his 8th turnover. He also has 20 pts & 4 dimes, L.A. up 7.
geofflepper Strange game for Monta Ellis, who is 2-17 FG but has 10 AST and has hounded Kobe Bryant into 8 TOs. On pace for another 48-minute game. #GSW
LakersReporter The Lakers handled Golden State rather easily in the 3rd Q, outscoring Golden State 35-22 to take a 94-87 lead into the 4th.
nbalivetweet Sasha Vujajic getting some filler minutes near end of 3rd. Just looks awkward out there with the purple short-sleeve tighties under jersey.
KevinDing Boxing on the brain after Pacquiao fight, apparently. Now Farmar and Powell fake-jabbing each other in timeout.
geofflepper END 3Q: LAL 94, #GSW 87. Lakers limit TOs to *only* 5, continue blistering FG pace (61.8%). Tolliver/Hunter combined 0-4 in quarter.

4TH QUARTER HIGHLIGHTS: Ah crap! Oh wow! Yeah! Yeah! No! Hurry! Oh!

Where Ah Crap = Kobe's late and-one as a nail in the coffin, Oh wow = Kobe's turnover, Yeah(1) = Kobe's missed FT, Yeah(2) = Steph getting open with a few ticks left, No = Steph missing a wide-open trey, Hurry = Monta's offensive rebound and race back to trey land before buzzer sounding, Oh = Monta's triple-rim-bouncing miss at the buzzer. For less chaos, just watch the NBA.com clip below.

LakersReporter Lamar Odom looked over at Vladi Radmanovic after nailing a turnaround on Devean George to beat the shot clock. Vladi laughed.
LakersReporter Monta Ellis is having the opposite of a good shooting game. He's 2-for-18 from the field. Yikes. Does have 10 dimes.
KevinDing Monta Ellis 2 for 18 from field with 10:22 to play. Not easy to score and defend Kobe at same time.
nbalivetweet Devean George still got the sweet stroke, deep R elbow trey. I'm sure he got his laser on for his former team. Warriors def up for this gm.
geofflepper #GSW go small, LAL go right to Lamar Odom, being "covered" by Monta. Ellis can't stop him from scoring easily.
LakersReporter At the other end of the efficiency spectrum from Ellis is Odom, who is 6-of-6 for 15 pts w/9 reb. Pau 9-of-12, 22 pts.
KevinDing Twitter's character limit is not suited for number of fundamental things Shannon Brown just did wrong in a three-minute span.
nbalivetweet Steph Curry step-around layup. He's so good, being a rook. Dickie V got it right. Raved about him at/before Draft.
nbalivetweet Devean George 3-ball corner pocket! Last attempt went in n out. He came to play. Also took a charge on Andrew Bynum.
nbalivetweet So anyways, looks like Steph Curry broken out of slump vs Lakers. Monta Ellis, no.
KevinDing Kobe is now (with smile) kidding Shannon about him just standing there in paint earlier instead of challenging drive late in P&R; play.
geofflepper LOL. RT @KevinDing Twitter's character limit is not suited for number of fundamental things Shannon Brown just did wrong in a 3-minute span.
gswscribe Lakers 100, Warriors 95. Curry leads Ws with 19. Maggette 18. Kobe 20 on 7-for-13. Gasol 22 and 8
nbalivetweet Timeout. Lakers 100, Warriors 95, under 9:00, 4th qtr.
KevinDing I'll say the same thing I said in Phoenix: Sasha is funny.
geofflepper Curry banks home a 10-footer, then drills quick transition 3 to get #GSW within a point, 101-100 LAL.
nbalivetweet On one end of the spectrum you have Kobe, most athletic. Other end, Sasha Vujajic. Just looked silly on that rimmer and attempted save OOB.
gswscribe I know someone is going nuts now that Curry is taking over. He's got seven in the quarter.
nbalivetweet Steph Curry with a crafty banker and a stepback trey. But Lakers size ends the momentum. Andrew Bynum power and-one.
KevinDing Shannon has made so many mistakes, he ran over to bench thinking for sure he was yanked. Phil had to send him back in.
LakersReporter Moments ago, it was 100-90 Lakers. G.S. then went on a 10-1 run capped by Curry's 3 before a tough and-1 from Bynum (19 & 13).
LakersReporter Continues to be a great showing from my personal favorite NBA road crowd here in Oakland, their team down 3, 6:41 to go.
nbalivetweet Lamar Odom indefensible running floater. Lakers 106, Warriors 100, under 7:00.
nbalivetweet Steph Curry opposite court assist and-one to Anthony Tolliver after driving L baseline. Wow! FT good. Lakers 106, Warriors 103.
LakersReporter Holy .... Shannon Brown just jumped 15 feet into the air for a rebound.
gswscribe Back-to-back terrible shots by Curry. Those two possessions are why jumpers in transition are a bad practice. Meanwhile, Lakers going inside
geofflepper Oracle crowd was waiting to erupt, but Curry missed the open 3. Then Kobe, working on Maggette, gets easy layup and one. LAL 110, #GSW 103.
nbalivetweet Andrew Bynum's length gives more opps off Kobe's miss layup via post. But misses! Steph Curry can't bring house down tho. Kobe back w and-1.
gswscribe Great question. Warriors down 53-21 on boards @jamesvenes Has an NBA team ever finished the game with more assists than rebounds?
KevinDing Pretty funny to watch all the Lakers' fans sprout up and start pointing and at Warriors fans after Kobe hits his and-1.
gswscribe They just announced Rickey Henderson's presence and put him on the big screen, only everyone in front of him stood up
KevinDing Celeb moment here in Oakland on the scoreboard ... Rickey Henderson! You do what you can when you're not Staples.
KevinDing The best part of it was fans here in Oakland are so manic that they all went crazy jumping up in front of Rickey and we could barely see him
LakersReporter Dark spot in otherwise terrific game from Bynum (19 pts, 14 rebs & 3 blks): 8 TO's, like Kobe. G.S. has 5 total. L.A. still up 8.
nbalivetweet Don Nelson mic'd up (to Anthony Tolliver?): "You should never run from under basket to be a shooter."
nbalivetweet Do the Warriors have one last push? Lakers 111, Warriors 103 after Kobe makes the and-one FT.
nbalivetweet Steph Curry trey R elbow early offense (are any Warrior buckets not early?), Lakers 114, Warriors 108. But Kobe trey other way.
LakersReporter Curry's 5th 3 was answered immediately by Kobe, who now has 28 pts. Then a Fish to Pau alley-oop put L.A. up 11, 3 min left.
geofflepper Kobe nails a 3 in Ellis' mug, then Fisher oops to Pau on 4-on-2 break. LAL 119, #GSW 108, 3:18 left. Somebody cue Dandy Don.
gswscribe Kobe 3 and Gasol dunk puts Warriors down 119-108, 3:18 left. Bryant 28 and 4 ast. Curry 27 and 7 ast. Turned out to be nce game for Curry
KevinDing 11 on 1/31/08 at DET. He has 8 with 3:18 to play. RT @LakersHighlight: @KevinDing what's kobe's career high for turnovers?
geofflepper But only 2&1 in second half, when LAL got serious. RT @DonNelsonRiley Hunter has 18&7 against NBA's best frontcourt. Earned more minutes?
nbalivetweet Oops, delete my tweet. Missed it. Thx to Twitter, it was a Pau Gasol oop fr Derek Fisher. Lakers 119, Warriors 108, 3:14, 4th qtr collapse?
KevinDing I'll give Andrew's previous career high in TOs after I finish watching dance-off between heavyset white woman and heavyset black woman here.
KevinDing Hilarious.
KevinDing Bynum has 8 turnovers tonight. His previous career high was 6 on 1/23/08 vs. SAC.
nbalivetweet Corey Maggette blocked down low via Monta Ellis feed, Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom too tall, Derek Fisher to scrappy/slappy. Blocked again.
nbalivetweet Monta Ellis breakaway layup. Pau Gasol barely misses an and-one on diminutive Corey Maggette. Lakers 121, Warriors 110, 2:00 after FTs.
LakersReporter Gasol chewed upon matchup advantages inside all night, getting to 26 pts w/9 reb, 4 ast & 1 blk on 10-of-13 FGs.
nbalivetweet Steph Curry splits Laker double up top goes up, thinks about it, scoop finger roll. He's so good. Way more skilled than half the league.
nbalivetweet Chris Hunter running layup good, Steph Curry assist via double team. Warriors down 5, 0:50. Miracle?
gswscribe Ellis was 3-for-20 before knocking down a pull-up 3 in transition after picking Kobe's pocket. 121-119, 13.9 secs left
nbalivetweet Kobe loses ball to Monta Ellis, who breaks and pulls up trey, good! Down 2 with under :24. They don't foul! Then foul Shannon Brown.
LakersReporter Wait a second ... a quick 9-0 run to an almost indifferent Lakers team had G.S. within 2, 13.9 to play, b4 2 Brown FT's. 123-119.
nbalivetweet Shannon Brown FTs good. 2nd one touches almost every part of rim. Timeout. 13.9 ticks left. Warriors down 4 to Lakers.
geofflepper Ellis strips a fallen Kobe (9th TO), pulls up for transition 3 to make it 121-119, LAL. Shannon Brown 2 FTs put Lakers up 4 w/13.9 secs left
LakersReporter Kobe has had to play 40 minutes tonight on the front end of a back-to-back. Artest 37, Gasol 35, Fisher 33.
nbalivetweet ESPN replay: Kobe slams bench seat next to Phil Jackson in frustration after the turnover.
geofflepper Ellis layup, Kobe fouled. 2 FTs coming up.
geofflepper Kobe misses 1st...
gswscribe Amidst chants of MVP, Kobe misses FT. 123-121 Lakers, 8.6 seconnds left. One more FT
nbalivetweet Monta Ellis quick layup. As I said before, fastest RH in the Association. Kobe fouled with 8.6. Misses! Subs coming in/out.
LakersReporter After L.A. conceded an Ellis layup, Kobe improbably missed the front end of 2 FTs w/8.6 to play. G.S. within 3.
geofflepper Kobe makes second. LAL 124, #GSW 121. 8.6 seconds left. W's timeout.
nbalivetweet Kobe 2nd FT good. Timeout. Lakers 124, Warriors 121, 0:08.6 remaining. Who shoots it? I'm sure the Lakers are thinking Steph Curry.
gswscribe Warriors ball, down 3, 8.6 seconds left. Tolliver (3-5 from 3), not Curry (5-8 from 3), is getting this shot
LakersReporter We'll see if the Lakers choose to foul or not, up 124-121, to avoid a game-tying 3.
nbalivetweet You might wanna decoy it to Steph Curry, then go with Anthony Morrow. Mark Jackson recommending Lakers foul. 8.6 left.
gswscribe Wow. What an ending. Curry misses the 3. Ellis rebounds it, runs out the the 3 line, it bounced three times before falling off. Lakers win
nbalivetweet The epitome of the Warriors! Steph Curry takes it out, Derek Fisher bites! Steph misses wide open trey R elbow on pass back...
geofflepper Curry 3 off back rim, Monta OREB, races to top-key, but his 3 at buzzer bounces 3 times on rim before rolling off. LAL 124, #GSW 121.
LakersReporter Lakers win. By a sliver. Both Curry & Ellis had great looks at a tying 3, both missed. Monta's bounced around rim for 3 seconds.
gswscribe Can you fault Ellis for not giving it Curry on his left or Morrow on his right, instead taking a rushed turnaround 3?
LakersReporter Your final: Lakers 124, Warriors 121, L.A. heading to Sacramento for the back end of a back-to-back tomorrow.
nbalivetweet ...but after Steph Curry's miss trey, Monta Ellis somehow gets rebound, dribbles way to top for trey, bounces on rim 2-3 times, no good!

POST-BUZZER THOUGHTS: Lakers' outrebounding and turnovers, Warriors lack of turnovers, I believe...in the value of this franchise

nbalivetweet I said it earlier and i'll say it again: Larry Ellison, believe it or not, the Warriors ARE worth that much. Please just buy the team.
LakersReporter Ridiculous stat: Lakers grabbed 56 rebounds to just 29 for the Warriors. In a related stat, L.A. had 24 TO's, G.S. just 5.
KevinDing Kobe's wife Vanessa here outside locker room, getting a hug from Ronny Turiaf.
KevinDing Turiaf now visiting with Phil Jax, who mocked Ronny's engineer cap: "The choo-choo train is leaving."
KevinDing Ronny's weak reply to Phil showed he's out of practice in dealing with Phil's barbs: "I can't hear you."
KevinDing It's not just Vanessa who is here. Lots of family/friends around postgame. Phil spending time w/ ex-wife June (who lives in SF) and son Ben.

So imagine all that happening real-time. Fun and informative, eh?

One last thought: as I mentioned, the NBA Draft this year has a lot of good big men. The Warriors have the third-worst record in the league, so you figure based on recent lottery history, they can't be any worse than Draft Pick #5 or #6, right?

In the top two, you have the highly talented ballhandlers John Wall and Evan Turner. I think Monta and Steph can co-exist and all they need are bigs who can run the floor, finish layups, and block shots. That being said, I think not drafting Wall or Turner would work out best and least complicated for the Warriors. However, if you get the #1 or #2 pick, you can't pass up either Wall or Turner. From there, you're looking at trades.

So whether or not Monta stays or gets dealt may come down to which ping pong ball the Warriors get. Let's look at the big men available:

• DeMarcus Cousins, Kentucky: I'm gonna say it. He's better offensively than Chris Webber was. This guy is special. He's just a little crazy in the head, meaning immature, but that's kind of just the tip of the iceberg.
• Derrick Favors, Georgia Tech: Also a freshman like Cousins, this kid is mobile, can finish, can rebound, can run the floor. Like I said, this is a deep draft.
• Patrick Patterson, Kentucky: This guy is NBA-ready. The only reason he is lower on the draft boards than some others is because, similar to the comparison of Turner and Wall, he's already polished. There's not much of a ceiling left, which is good and bad. I actually think it's more good than bad and that NBA GM's are too enamored by "potential" and not enough by "NBA-ready". After all, we want guys to come in and produce, right? That's worth a whole blogpost in and of itself.
• Greg Monroe, Georgetown: Not the most nimble, but still quite athletic, relatively speaking. He had a great Big East tournament, has nice face-up moves, but draft experts tend to knock him on the quickness. However, I think some of that has to do with the fact that this is a deep draft and their judging based on context.

There's others who are quality bigs who can run the floor, are athletic, and can rebound and block shots. In other drafts, they'd be higher, but the names mentioned above...wow. The Warrior front office would have to screw up royally to draft the wrong guy. Here's hoping they've been watching their boys play the last few games.

Without knowing off the cuff what the Warriors' prospects are for additional draft picks, I would also recommend some wheeling and dealing for more 2nd-rounders. Again, deep draft. Stockpile the bigs.

I watch a lot of prospects in NCAA ball and I try to picture -- and this is actually realistic! -- a DeMarcus Cousins, Derrick Favors, or Patrick Patterson D'ing up Bynum and/or Gasol tonight. Folks, it's do-able, especially if you tack on another young'un off the bench...say, shot-blocker Jarvis Varnado of Mississippi State?

Poll

We're pretty sure whatever price Cohan has right now for Ellison is too high for Ellison. Do you think that price is...

• justified due to the Warriors fanbase
• justified due to the Warriors' in-game competitiveness
• justified both due to fanbase and in-game competitiveness
• not justified -- the price is still too high

  20 votes | Results