• WPBSA chairman plans to boost prize money
• Hearn to resign if blueprint is not accepted

Barry Hearn has revealed radical plans to revitalise snooker, including increasing prize money on the circuit to at least £4.5m from £3.5m for each of the next three years. Hearn has also said he will resign as chairman of the World Professional Billiards and Snooker Association if the plans are not accepted by its membership at an extraordinary general meeting in early summer.

Hearn intends to commit the association's £3m cash reserves to prize money for more tournaments as part of a response to the "poor leadership, lack of events, absence of investment, inefficient organisation and poor brand awareness" which he said he has found at the WPBSA.

There will be a ranking tournament in Berlin and a new supporting tour of 12 events – eight in mainland Europe, four in the UK – from which the top 24 would qualify for a televised Players Championship. There will also be a 64-player one-frame shoot-out with a 25-seconds shot clock, no time-outs and a maximum of 12 minutes per frame.

Following the model of the Professional Darts Council, which he also chairs, Hearn intends to split World Snooker Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary, from WPSBA Ltd, which would become exclusively the sport's regulatory and disciplinary body financed by a modest grant from WSL.

The new WSL would acquire WPBSA's commercial assets for a nominal £1 and issue share capital of £500,000, a figure Hearn deems necessary to set against early losses incurred in rebuilding the circuit. Hearn's own company, Matchroom, would take 51% of the shares with 24% allocated to other commercial partners and 25% to players whose share entitlement would be determined by a formula taking account of a top-64 ranking and previous world- and ranking-title wins.

If the new company fails to meet its targets, Hearn will resign and its commercial rights would revert to WPBSA Ltd.The present £4m a year BBC contract for four events – the Grand Prix, the UK Championship, the Masters and the World Championship – expires with the 2011 World Championship and Hearn is in negotiations for a new one. The BBC do not want to televise the Grand Prix anymore, the weakest of the quartet in terms of viewing figures and profile. In its place Hearn has offered a World Open, which would carry £500,000 in prize money and whose field of 96 professionals would be augmented by 32 amateurs.

The BBC may be wary of the World Open deducting value from the Crucible's World Championship. It has a 60-day option to claim the rights to the new tournament and may consider that it would be better to take it rather than risk it passing to another broadcaster who might build it up into a rival.

If the BBC do not take the World Open, its annual rights fee for the remaining three events is likely to drop below £4m but, regardless of any new BBC contract, Hearn deems it essential to bring other broadcasters into the game. He is in talks with Sky, ITV and ESPN and is shortly to meet Eurosport, which takes a feed of all WPBSA events from other broadcasters and whose viewing figures he describes as "amazing".

The government today unveils its white paper on the funding of social care. For full coverage and reaction, follow updates here

5.30pm

Right, I'm signing off now. To recap: the white paper looks like a bold attempt by Labour to overcome the negative publicity created by the Tories "death tax" campaign and set up a workable National Care Service providing care free at the point of need. You can read the news story here.

The reception has been mixed: there was a broad welcome for its aspiration to provide a element of free residential care, remove the postcode lottery from social care, and its promise not to grab pensioner's weekly allowances to pay for it all. As IndigoShrimp puts it in the comments on this blog:

Despite the disappointment over the funding issue, we shouldn't lose sight of some really good stuff in here - national assessment criteria is a very significant proposal that would help to establish a much fairer system. This in itself makes the white paper significant.

But there's no escaping the concern over the lack of detail on funding, and the long timescale for implementation, which means we won't see reform until at least 2016. Disability groups are unhappy at the emphaisis on older people, and others are wondering exactly what the Tories will do if they win the election (there's real anger at the Tories' opportunistic behaviour on this issue).

Jonathan Ellis, director of public policy at Help the Hospices puts it succinctly:

"We understand that seeking consensus on a reform of this scale is vital but clear timeframes need to be set. People with life-limiting and terminal illnesses don't have the luxury of time. They can't wait around while politicians squabble over how social care should be funded.

Health secretary Andy Burnham has promises to offer compromises tonight in the Commons to ensure his Personal Care at Home bill gets through, so keep a look out for that. You can read the white paper itself here

4.55pm

Society Guardian columnist and blogger Peter Beresford has added his thoughts to the white paper debate on our own Joe Public blog. He calls the white paper "a document of lofty principles in significant contrast to the narrow and unsatisfactory green paper that preceded it". He reflects:

"The government's determination to produce a white paper before the general election has puzzled many. Is the aim to manage expectations should Labour be re-elected or is it to set a marker for political opposition if a Conservative government comes to power? Whichever, this response could serve either purpose. Its principles are Beveridgean in scale: for social care to be universal, free at the point of use, to work in partnership, ensure choice and control, support family, carers and community life and be accessible."

Community Care points out that the white paper proposes that the General Social Care Council becomes the General Social Work Council, with its responsiblities for regulating the social care profession transferred to the health professions council.

Mark Lever, chief executive of the National Autistic Society, adds his voice to those who feel the white paper concentrates on the growing needs of older people at the expense of younger disabled social care service users. He says:

"Debates about "death taxes" have completely overshadowed the needs of working age adults with disabilities including those with autism. It is about time Parliament recognised that the social care debate is not just about older people. It must be acknowledged that people with serious, lifelong and disabling conditions may be less able to save and pay for their social care."

4.00pm

So who - as in which generation - will pay for all this, and is this fair? My attention is drawn to a piece by blogger Craig Dearden Phillips, who posted on the social care funding issue last week after a debate at Suffolk county council, where he is a Lib Dem councillor. Craig, who is (I think) 40 years old wonders why his generation should again be stumping up for the baby boomer generation

"We are asking for a small number of people aged 25-50 to pay for a much bigger cohort aged 50-75. This is a very big ask. And not only do my generation have the biggest personal debts (we have to pay silly money for houses sold to us by the generation ahead), we will also be responsible for paying the national debt they, as society's dominant generation, has left us."

He adds:

"So you can see why I am a bit irked by this bill. It feels, to me, like a very large and dominant generational cohort working the system - again - to its advantage. I, for one, am not having it!"

3.30pm

Now the Tories are pitching in. Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley is saying the white paper is merely delaying the inevitable:

"The death tax is alive and kicking – despite [the government's] attempts to bury it in the small print of policy in the hope people won't notice. The simple fact remains that if Labour wins the election, they'd introduce plans for a death tax to pay for care. Once again, when Gordon Brown sees a problem, his reaction is to place a new tax on working people. Labour have had 13 years to sort this issue out. Their failure has caused misery for thousands of families. These proposals will do little to alleviate that suffering. Thousands of people will still have to sell their family home to fund their care."

Ace blogger Fighting Monsters (The Life and Thoughts of a British Social Worker) has been reading this morning's contribution to the Guardian on social care from Andy Burnham:

"As for me, the rhetoric is pleasant sounding and hard to argue against. The fight will be in the details and, don't get me wrong, I'd love a system like this for all run on the basis of the National Health Service – but there is a real price to pay and trying to hide behind that fact or ignore the necessity for payment will just build unrealistic expectations."

Fighting Monsters reckons a more strategic approach would pay dividends:

"I think if there were more focus on the money and the way the funding is divided, more money could be saved through properly-thought-through preventative services – although there seems to be a tendency to veer from crisis to emergency at present, and only providing care for the highest defined needs buys into this system when a more substantial base of care at lower or 'moderate' needs may well prevent a more expensive longer-term role for formal care."

3.20pm

Here we go, at last a really robust, "no holds barred" rant at the white paper, from Mike Parsons, founder of Barchester Healthcare, a care home company:

"This really is a cop out; the case of presentation over content. Lots of noble words but read the small print and it is a sleight of hand – capping the cost after two years of residential care is easily done when the average length of stay in a care home is less than two years! The personal care at home bill states that £670m will look after 400,000 people with highly acute needs in their own homes, but what does that actually amount to? Divide one number by the other and you get the princely sum of £31.25 per week. How much care do you think that buys? Less than a few minutes each day!

The London School of Economics has pointed out that care at home is only cheaper than residential care when people need less than 30 hours' care per week. For a person with highly acute needs, four hours a day is very little – the government is talking about the containment of people, not care of people. Where will the money come from? The health secretary does not say. But he suggests another royal commission. Exactly what Tony Blair did on assuming power in 1997. It took two years to report and then his government ignored the findings; another royal commission will be another attempt to kick the issue into the long grass."

Seems like the honeymoon period for the white paper is nearly over. The redoubtable Emma Soames, editor-at-large of Saga magazine also has some no-nonsense views:

"We're disappointed by the delay, lack of detail and any figures. Overall, it seems like a lot of waiting just to be told that they are going to a royal commission – which they could easily ignore as they did with long-term care in 1999 – to draw up proposals for a change in the system for 2015."

She adds:

"Our concern is that a change of government will herald yet more uncertainty, because the three main parties are so far apart in their views. While another Labour government will likely see this plan driven through, a Conservative government would inevitably result in a further review, and a coalition could well yield further delays at the hand of political favour bargaining. While we welcome the comprehensive model of care free at the point of delivery, the question is whether it will survive post-election. The response from those who are likely to be affected – those needing care, and those providing care – is: 'For heaven's sake, please chart a course and stick to it. If we know it's going to be uncomfortable, then at least we can prepare. But right now, we're unclear as to what we need to prepare for.'"

I love that "for heaven's sake". Soames sounds like a lady you wouldn't mess with. Could she be the Joanna Lumley of the social care movement?

And it seems as though the disability lobby is not too happy either. Ruth Scott, director of policy and campaigns at disability charity Scope, says the white paper has "failed to grasp the nettle with regard to the current social care crisis facing working-age disabled people", and is silent on the question of who will be eligible for support.

"The proposal that working-age disabled people will have to pay for social care unless they are on a low income is fundamentally unfair and likely to exacerbate already high levels of poverty and exclusion."

Lord Adebowale, chief executive of the social enterprise Turning Point, is concerned that the government doesn't get too fixated on the social care needs of elderly people:

"Any future social care system must not cater just for the elderly. People with a learning disability and younger adults with social care needs also require long-term support and we need to ensure their needs are not ignored."

2.40pm

Community Care magazine points out that the white paper rules out scrapping attendance allowance and disability living allowance for the duration of the next parliament. Proposals in last year's green paper to transfer these attendance allowances – essentially cash payments made direct to pensioners – to pay for social care triggered opposition from pensioners, charities and the Conservatives. Burnham had already said disability living allowance was safe, but this secures attendance allowance, too. A shrewd move a few weeks before a general election: around 1.6 million people claim attendance allowance and on average they receive £60 a week. That would have been a lot of unhappy voters.

The Local Government Association is pleased that councils will have a big role to play in implementing the reforms. But it is twitchy, too, about funding. It's asking three key questions:

• How will immediate problems with funding adult social care be addressed while the details of how to implement and pay for these proposals are worked out?
• How will the funding be balanced to take into account local provision versus national entitlement?
• How will the expertise of local government be incorporated in shaping these plans further and ensuring they are realistic?

2.20pm

The National Pensioner's Convention (NPC) calls it "the beginning of the end of means-testing and unfairness". It also wants real people on the proposed funding commission to

"ensure it adequately reflects the views of older people themselves and isn't simply taken over by the great and the good who have no real understanding of how older people live their lives".

I was just thinking about how far the general response to the white paper had been pretty positive – notwithstanding the worries about funding and timing – when I came across this, from Lord Lipsey (who led the opposition to the National Care Service in the Lords) He told BBC Radio 4's World At One that the white paper does not make sense.

"This system proposed by the government today is unfair because it is going to mean the poor paying money, but the benefits going to the better off. It is unaffordable, even more expensive than the proposal that I was attacking in the House of Lords, and, worst of all, it doesn't provide the better services that elderly people and their carers really need."

1.55pm

A welcome for the white paper from thesnufkin, an incisive and well-informed poster on the Guardian website on social care and social services topics, who picks up on the proposed removal of the postcode lottery:

"The big change appears to be that it will be a national care strategy, and that local authorities will no longer decide their own eligibility and charging criteria. That is a change of jaw dropping magnitude – but long overdue."

Michelle Mitchell, charity director for Age Concern and Help the Aged, says the idea of a National Care Service "sounds fantastic". It's true, but these white papers almost always do. She points out, however, that the government has to put its money where its mouth is:

"Almost everyone can agree with the principle of a new system that guarantees more flexible support, earlier help and clear national entitlements rather than a postcode lottery of unmet needs. But if it isn't adequately funded, the vision of a new national care service cannot be delivered and will ultimately fail the most vulnerable people in our communities. Ministers must say how much it will all cost and how they plan to plug the immediate £1.75bn black hole in social care funding expected to open up within the next two years. By the end of the next parliament, we'll also need billions more to fund the growing need for social care, implement the new national entitlement and fund the free care at home proposal."

Carer's UK chief executive Imelda Redmond says the white paper plans are exactly what older and disabled people, their families and carers have been calling for.

"The[y] promise to end the social care postcode lottery and protect families from the crippling costs of care which they currently see draining their savings and putting at risk family homes."

She's also worried about the money, though: there's not enough detail, and the "promised commission on funding must be brought forward as a matter of urgency to deliver on the specifics".

1.40pm

Here's a more detailed outline of those three stages, helpfully provided by the Department of Health.

Stage one

• Build on the best of the current system through reforms that are already under way and deliver the personal care at home bill.

Stage two

• From 2014 extend the coverage of free care so that people will receive free care if they need to stay in residential care for more than two years.

• Set up a commission to support consensus and advise the government on the fairest and most sustainable way that people can make their contribution to a care system that is free when they need it.

• Set up a National Care Service Leadership Group of expert stakeholders who will advise government on the implementation of the National Care Service, focusing on the systems and business processes that need to be put in place to make the National Care Service a reality.

• Introduce a national care service bill to set the legal foundations of the National Care Service.

• Enshrine in law for the first time nationally consistent eligibility criteria for social care, helping to remove the postcode lottery of care that exists now.

• Push forward with the prevention agenda and continue the drive towards personal budgets so that by 2012 everyone who would benefit from a personal budget will have one.

• Ensure accurate, relevant and accessible information about what people are entitled to, how the assessment process works, and how to access care services is provided to everyone.

• Improve the gateway for accessing social care and disability benefits to make it simpler and easier for people.

• Introduce a quality framework including a body to drive up quality in social care.

Stage three

• The introduction of a comprehensive National Care Service that is free when needed for all adults with an eligible care need, funded by contributions.

The respected King's Fund thinktank, meanwhile, has welcomed the white paper. Its acting director, Anna Dixon, says:

"The government has set out a bold and ambitious plan for reform which if realised would establish a National Care Service free at the point of need. Defining a national entitlement would mean that people receive help based on their needs, not their postcode - a major achievement that would tackle the perceived unfairness of the current social care system."

But she warns it leaves a number of key questions unanswered.

"What level of need will be covered? How much is it going to cost and who will foot the bill? The absence of any costings makes it difficult to assess how affordable these plans are and how sustainable they would be in the long term. Our own analysis suggests the introduction of free personal care would see net public spend rise from £10.7bn in 2015 to £16.8bn in 2026."

1.25pm

The press conference is over. Looks like there are three main stages to reform proposed in the white paper:

• The personal care at home bill. Andy Burnham says Labour is prepared to compromise to push through its personal care at home bill through parliament tonight. He says: "I have listened and reflected on what the Lords have said ... we want to get reform ... I will give some ground when I speak to the Commons later in respect of what the Lords have said."

• The white paper would be implemented in the next parliament. It will include free residential care after two years, at a cost of £800m. This will affect around 55,000-60,000 people the paper estimates.

• A commission will be set up to work out the finer points of how to pay for it all. The commission will report in the course of the next parliament, but legislation on options for payment will not come in before 2016. Its proposals will be put to voters at a general election before being enacted, says Burnham

1.05pm

The prime minister Gordon Brown is visiting a sheltered housing project in Stockwell, south London this morning to launch the white paper. He says:

"We're changing the social care system stage by stage, so we get to a universal comprehensive system. The real aim is to ease the fears in people, people's worries about their savings, worries about their homes. Worries about what might happen in retirement. This new system in social care, a national social care system, ends the postcode lottery."

Journalists are still "locked in" to a press briefing on the white paper, so we don't have precise details yet. But Norman Lamb, the Liberal Democrat health spokesman is saying Labour have kicked the issue into the long grass because nothing will happen until 2016.

"A White Paper without any commitment to substantial change in the next Parliament is barely worth the paper it is written on. We're now being offered a series of piecemeal reforms that have not been properly thought through or costed."

12.38pm

The government today unveils its long awaited white paper on the funding of social care, setting out the route to a "national care service". We'll have full coverage of the paper and the reaction to it throughout the afternoon. According to my colleagues Patrick Wintour and Andrew Sparrow this is what we can expect:

Today's white paper will set out "the route to a national care service". It will propose new laws to cap the cost of residential costs after two years in a home.
The cap will be funded by freezing inheritance tax thresholds for the lifetime of the parliament, increasing the statutory retirement age of 65 and by greater efficiencies in the care system. The white paper will also set in place the building blocks for a national care service, including its minimum national standards and entitlements.
Launching the white paper, Burnham will set out his preferred plans on how to fund the final stage of a national care service, but legislation to introduce the changes will not be proposed until the next parliament, in a bid to take the sting out of the issue ahead of the election.

Burnham set out his stall in the Guardian this morning. He's talking about "big choices," "tough choices" – a bold policy that stands in the best labour tradition, alongside the creation of the NHS, the Open University and Sure Start.

Burnham also gave an interview to the Times today.

The Conservative health spokesperson Andrew Lansley says the government is in "utter retreat". He's predicting a "train crash" of a white paper because ministers have abandoned their plans for a compulsory levy to pay for social care in old age, which Tories dubbed the "death tax."

You'll remember the Tories' "death tax" poster and the spoof. Not forgetting this video on Labour's social care plans by a well known politician and former editor of the Weatherfield Recorder.

Sounds like the white paper will be unveiled around 1pm.

Lancashire lawyer is accused with four others of trying to extort £4.25m from Duke of Buccleuch for masterpiece

A solicitor accused of trying to extort £4.25m from one of Britain's wealthiest peers to recover a missing painting has admitted stealing £350,000 from his own clients' account as well as secretly demanding a £2m reward.

Marshall Ronald admitted in court that he committed the "cardinal sin" of taking his clients' money because he "passionately" wanted to return the masterpiece by Leonardo da Vinci to its rightful owners, the Duke of Buccleuch and his family.

The painting, valued at £30m to £50m, was stolen in broad daylight from Drumlanrig castle, in Dumfries and Galloway, in 2003.

Ronald, a lawyer from Skelmersdale in Lancashire, is one of five men, including two other solicitors, accused of plotting to extort money from the duke with a threat that the masterpiece, Madonna of the Yarnwinder, would be destroyed if he failed to comply.

Ronald is jointly accused with Robert Graham and John Doyle, part-time private detectives from Ormskirk, Lancashire; Calum Jones, a corporate lawyer from Kilmacolm, Renfrewshire; and David Boyce of Airdrie, Lanarkshire. They deny all the charges.

Boyce and Doyle ran a website called Stolen Stuff Reunited that claimed to help the owners of stolen property get it back by telling the thieves the property was of great personal value.

Both men were allegedly approached by a mysterious intermediary, known to Ronald only as J, who knew where the Leonardo was.

Ronald, 53, told the high court in Edinburgh that he originally planned to ask the duke to pay £700,000 to buy the painting from J and another associate, whom he called K.

After that was rejected by the duke's representatives, who were in fact undercover detectives, Ronald was able to renegotiate the price with the intermediaries by reducing it to £350,000.

But because the duke refused to pay anything upfront, Ronald had to steal the cash from his clients to pay J and K off, he said.

He agreed with Donald Findlay QC, his advocate, that this was a cardinal sin for a solicitor, which put him in a "parlous position".

Ronald said: "I bitterly regret that." He did it "to keep the deal alive. It wouldn't have happened but for facilitating the payment of that money, which I negotiated to the lowest level I could."

Ronald confirmed in cross-examination that J had given him evidence that the painting was safe and authentic by embedding footage of the Leonardo 15 minutes into a Batman video.

But J had also made clear that if he was not paid he would "stab" the painting or throw it in a river. "He didn't care, to him it was just pure business," Ronald said.

After the intermediaries were paid by Graham and Doyle, the two men brought the painting to the law firm in Glasgow where Boyce and Jones were senior partners, to be handed over to the duke's men on 4 October 2007. Instead, all five men were arrested in a police raid.

Ronald admitted that he tried to broker a private deal with the undercover police officers, who he believed were acting as the duke's personal negotiators.

Ronald, Graham and Doyle had already decided to ask for £2.25m in rewards and fees for the return of the Leonardo. Under the original deal £700,000 would go to the unknown men who were holding the painting, while he, Graham, Doyle, J and K would take £250,000 each.

The lawyers in Glasgow would get £50,000 for their legal advice on making sure the transaction was carried out properly under Scottish law.

But without telling Graham and Doyle, who were his original clients, Ronald secretly demanded an extra £2m from the duke that he admitted he would ask to be put in a private offshore account. "Suddenly I was the one taking all the risks," Ronald said.

He denied that he and his co-defendants were being greedy or publicity-hungry. He said all five of them had become emotionally involved in the case and believed they were acting in the best interests of the duke and the public.

Ronald admitted that he and his clients were very attracted by the "kudos" of being the men who successfully recovered one of the most valuable paintings ever stolen in Britain. It would boost his firm's fame and make the stolen property website famous worldwide.

The trial continues.

by Jonathan Hiskes

Can renewable energy turn Wales as clean and shiny as the Cardiff waterfront?Courtesy ttfnrob via FlickrThe sparkling, sanitized waterfront of Cardiff, Wales, reveals barely a hint of the country’s grimy industrial past. Where one of the busiest ports anywhere once shipped Welsh coal out into the world, a complex of upscale shops, pubs, and restaurants now dominates the area. Out are the sailors, brothels, and seedy watering holes. In are tourist-friendly pubs, fusion restaurants with names like ffresh, and a circus carousel. The locally favored Brains brewery (“People who know beer have Brains”) has survived nearby.

Even the bay itself has been remade. The natural tidal mudflats along the shore were too unseemly and smelly, developers figured, to attract new money. So authorities built a 0.7-mile dam to create a permanent artificial lake, tidal ecosystem be damned.

The only clear reminder of the country’s industrial heyday is the Pierhead Building, a red gothic-revival landmark that once headquartered a powerful shipping company. The first million-pound check was signed nearby and stored in the Pierhead a hundred years ago, according to national lore. After decades of going largely unused, the building was reopened this month as a museum, gallery, and civic forum.

The decline and tentative rebirth of the Pierhead is a telling stand-in for the story of Wales itself. A country of 2.9 million people, part of the United Kingdom, Wales was one of the first places to rise in the industrial revolution. Then it was one of the first to see its fossil fuel–based economy bottom out. Over the last decade, its government has invested heavily in clean-energy technologies, trying to cultivate a job base built on innovation rather than on mining and burning its natural resources.

I spent four days visiting Welsh companies and research hubs this month, on a trip funded by International Business Wales, a business-promotion arm of the government. The agency gave a biased perspective, of course, but one that revealed a lot about what Welsh leaders would like to achieve.

But I didn’t go because I was interested in Wales, no disrespect. I went to learn about the future of West Virginia, eastern Kentucky, Wyoming’s Powder River Basin, and other coal-dependent parts of the United States. Because those regions are following the same coal-driven trajectory as Wales. They just haven’t hit the rough patch yet.

You can look at Wales as the Appalachia of the U.K.—rural, hilly, beautiful, and, for much of the past two centuries, economically dependent on digging up and selling a fossil fuel. The key difference is that Wales built up its mining industry sooner, and saw it collapse sooner. But laws of economics promise the real Appalachia is following the same path.

Here’s why: Coal is a finite resource. It’s running out. Not only that, it’s also getting harder and harder to reach. The Hubbert Peak model shows how this happens—here’s Grist’s David Roberts explaining:

The easiest reserves are found first. Over time, as more accessible seams are mined out, what remains is increasingly difficult to obtain and expensive to transport. In every coal field, every country, every region, the energy-return-on-investment (EROI) rises, peaks, and declines. Post-peak, it takes more and more energy to reach the coal and get it where it needs to go. The crucial issue is not how much coal is left in the ground but where we are on the curve, and more to the point, when we cross into negative EROI, the crucial line after which it takes more work to get coal out of the ground than coal returns in energy.

This graphic from the Energy Watch Group shows how Europe’s coal production (in lime green) peaked late last century, then shrunk to barely a sliver. North American production (in peach) is expected to level out over the next 30 years, then start its decline. Same trend, just a few decades later.

Peak and crash

To see how this plays out, it’s worth looking at the recent history of Wales. For much of the past two centuries, its coal-rich southern valleys formed the country’s economic backbone. English finance and technology helped build the mining industry, which in turn drove the shipping trade in Cardiff. Iron and steelmaking, which relied on abundant coal, were the next industries to rise.

But most Welsh coal is deep underground, often requiring miners to travel a thousand feet down to retrieve it. As Australia and nations in Asia and Eastern Europe began extracting coal that was closer to the surface and easier to collect, Welsh mines struggled to compete. The mountaintop-removal method dominant in Appalachia is even cheaper—blast open the mountain and there’s much less digging to do.

The decisive blow to the coal economy came from the miners’ strike that consumed Great Britain in the mid-1980s. Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative government prevailed (despite the efforts of Billy Elliott), crushing organized labor all over Britain. Thatcher’s victory brought an unintended environmental boon by sharply reducing the mining of coal, the dirtiest of fossil fuels.

E.U. aid zones (in dark red), 2007-2013Courtesy wbc-inco.netWelsh mining continues in isolated pockets, including a two-year-old open-pit mine that is located an astounding 36 meters from private homes. But it has mostly vanished, leaving the country in rough economic shape. Its GDP per capita ranks last among regions in the U.K. Unemployment in some former mining valleys reached 25 percent. Many parts of the country are poor enough to qualify for European Union development aid, which goes mostly goes to former Soviet bloc countries.

“We’re treated as the Third World of the U.K.,” one resident complained to me.

So it’s not hard to see why leaders want to emphasize new industries. And it’s not hard to see why they prefer knowledge jobs to extraction jobs.

But wanting to become a cleantech hotspot isn’t unique. Any number of places—New England, the San Francisco Bay Area, Denmark, Shanghai—have the same goal. What matters is follow-through. And the Welsh follow-through is impressively wide-reaching.

There is wind—25 farms generate 300 megawatts of energy, making use of open ridgelines and the coasts that border Wales on three sides. There is solar—several companies build panels, including Pure Wafer, which makes panels out of recycled silicon. Early-stage, experimental wave and tidal energy projects are planned for sites along the coast. A biomass plant produces electricity from waste wood (sawmill scraps, pallets, forest brush), and another set to open in 2011 would be the world’s largest.

The country has also drawn on the expertise in its universities, forming a multi-school Low Carbon Research Institute and a series of business incubators to find ways to shuttle innovations from academic labs into the marketplace.

Combined, it all adds up to … a promising start. The transition from dirty to clean energy hasn’t been easy, and 25 years after the collapse of the Welsh coal industry, its clean-energy sector looks more like a field of green shoots than a mature ecosystem.

“There’s no short-term fix for transitioning your economy from a carbon-intensive manufacturing base into something else,” said Helen Donovan, a cleantech specialist with the Welsh government.

Gordon James, director of Friends of the Earth Wales, offered a perspective from outside government. “We’ve got the ambition,” he said. “We’ve got the vision. They’re putting in place good policy, but they haven’t had much of an impact yet.”

Green shoots

Even in its early stages, the Welsh cleantech project offers lessons for what other mining regions can do to ease their transition away from coal. For one, Welsh leaders aren’t looking for quick fixes. They’re thinking long-term.

This is most clear in marine energy—tidal and wave power—an uncertain but promising sector that is generally considered a few decades behind wind and solar. Tidal and wave technologies are in development in a few other locations around the world—including Scotland, Washington state’s Puget Sound, and New York City’s East River—but they are preliminary enough that Wales, with 1,317 miles of coastline, could become a leader in both.

Tidal Energy Limited hopes to test this tidal system next February, Development Director Chris Williams says.Grist photo/Jonathan HiskesOne team of researchers hopes to dispatch a floating “wave dragon” that traps waves and redirects the water through turbines. The company Tidal Energy Limited plans to drop a triangular frame holding three 20-meter turbines onto the sea bed. A test deployment next year could reveal whether the project has real commercial potential. “We’re going to put it in the water for 12 months, prove it works, and then we’ve got something to shout about,” said Tidal Energy Development Director Chris Williams. “Then we can go to the banks. Then we can start looking at further leases and a wider business plan.”

“We’re trying to pump-prime the industry,” said Helen Donovan, the government sustainable tech specialist. “If you look at the offshore-wind-energy and marine-energy situations, they’re very capital-intensive … By us sort of sharing the pain at the beginning, we’re actually pushing the industries forward over a period of time.”

Wales is also looking beyond its borders for help building a clean-energy economy—a tactic other coal regions could embrace. That’s helped it overcome the limited size of the local financial market. The Australian company Dyesol runs an R&D lab in north Wales focusing on advanced solar technology. The Japanese company Sharp has a solar-photovoltaic panel factory in the north; most of the panels are exported, but the company also runs a local installation training program.

Because Wales has multiple well-established universities, and because making the lab-to-marketplace leap is difficult almost everywhere, the country’s “bridge” projects could prove most consequential. Business incubators such Technium OpTIC provide lab and office space to promising startups, in energy and other high-tech fields, and help them find both government and private investment funding. Ninety percent of the companies it’s backed so far are still running, said OpTIC Sales Director John Oliver.

There’s a similar approach at the Low Carbon Research Institute, which is spread among six universities and funded by $50 million from the government and an E.U. development grant. It’s headquartered at the Cardiff University School of Architecture, where the work focuses on energy efficiency for new buildings and figuring out the economics of retrofitting existing homes in the U.K. Another branch at Swansea University contributes research to marine projects.

“The idea is to do serious, high-level academic work, but also, in a practical way, to move forward the low-carbon agenda,” institute director Peter Pearson said.

The “low-carbon agenda” is Wales’ goal to cut carbon dioxide emissions by 40 percent below 1990 levels by 2020. That’s more ambitious than the goals of the U.K., the E.U., and President Barack Obama. This aggressive target provides a clear impetus for the cleantech push—something else for coal-dependent regions to note.

Still, Wales has a long way to go to meet its goals. Data [PDF] from 2007 reveal a small decline in greenhouse-gas emissions that year, but James of Friends of the Earth argues that this owes more to Wales exporting its manufacturing to developing countries than to significant progress at home. Sixteen percent of Wales’ power supply still comes from coal, and 49 percent from natural gas. Renewable sources provide only 4 percent, according to 2007 data [PDF].

Two new power plants aren’t helping matters. The planned biomass plant and a liquefied-natural-gas plant that opened last year—the largest in Europe—will not capture and reuse waste heat, losing out on an opportunity for improved efficiency. “If we’re really serious about tackling climate change, we should not be granting permission to this,” said James. “It belongs to the past.”  But the fault for this lies with the U.K. government, which approved the plants. Welsh political leaders wanted cleaner plants but were overruled.

Take a chance on me

The National Assembly building in CardiffCourtesy mark.hogan via FlickrBack on the waterfront in Cardiff, there’s one more landmark worth mentioning. Beyond the shopping complex and carousel, the National Assembly building looks like a sort of hybrid mushroom/manta ray. The building is only four years old and the legislature it houses only 12 years old. In 1998, the U.K. parliament granted “devolution” rights to Wales and Scotland, allowing their national assemblies the ability to choose how they spend most public funds (though not to set tax rates).

The Welsh Assembly now leads one of three countries in the world that has a sustainability mandate in its constitution (France and Ecuador are the others). Last year it launched a comprehensive One Wales: One Planet development plan that calls for fossil-fuel energy use to drop 80 percent by 2025. The plan also requires all new buildings to be carbon-neutral by 2011. Because it was formed after the coal industry’s strength had faded, the Assembly has never had to grapple with the kind of powerful coal lobby that operates in Washington and coal-state capitals.

Throughout the trip, I kept asking “Why Wales?” For all the political leaders who talk a good game on driving the clean-energy transformation, why have theirs been able to follow through more than most? I got three general answers, two of which should be encouraging to the Appalachias of the world.

First, Wales never made a voluntary decision to give up fossil-fuel extraction. It was simply forced to find a new economic base. Every other coal-mining region will eventually reach this point too (though perhaps not in time to save us from a radically reshaped climate). 

Second, Wales’ energy legacy made its citizens receptive to more energy investment, much as Texans accustomed to oil wells have embraced wind farms. It’s a point of pride. “Wales had an important history in the industrial revolution, so it wants to take an important role in the clean-energy revolution,” James said. “Even though we’re a small nation, there’s good ambition here.”

Finally, the political climate in Wales is, in a word, different.

Kontakt theater at the Pierhead Sessions.Grist photo/Jonathan HiskesI stayed an extra day in Cardiff and ended up at a quirky festival marking the reopening of the Pierhead Building. A youth theater troupe had persuaded members of the Welsh Assembly and civic leaders to join them in a program designed to get politicians and teenagers interacting at a personal level. At a series of small tables, one student actor and one grownup spoke about their daily lives, interests, and families. Every few minutes they switched partners, sometimes drawing pictures together, at one point getting up to dance awkwardly to ABBA’s “Take a Chance on Me.” It was strange theater that looked like speed dating. The whole event seemed remarkable—I couldn’t imagine American lawmakers accepting such an invitation and taking the chance that they’d look foolish.

After the day’s programs, which were open to the public and free, I watched Speaker of the Assembly Dafydd Elis-Thomas hold conversations with an intoxicated supporter, a filmmaker critical of the government’s environmental efforts, and a few others who wanted to talk politics.

I was struck by the level of access citizens had, at least that day, to the presiding officer of their legislature. I don’t know how you replicate an open political culture like that, but it’s been instrumental in this country-wide rebuilding project. Other fossil fuel–dependent places may need to create the same atmosphere to find their own pathways out of the past.

Related Links:

Wind Power Soared Past 150,000 Megawatts in 2009

More evidence that Sen. Byrd sees the writing on the wall for coal

Pledge to End Mountaintop Removal in 2010

"More than a million baby slings made by Infantino were recalled Wednesday after reports linking them to three infant deaths."—Today's Times [1]. Who would have thought this would be the fall-out of that silly pseudo trend piece in the Times a couple weeks ago [2]? You'd think that makers of sling-style baby-carriers would have been ecstatic at the thought of an article full of super-conscious parents extolling the virtues of "wearing" one's baby rather than pushing it. But I guess once the Consumer Product Safety Commission [3] picks up the scent of endangered babies, things can go downhill fast. Which is good, of course, for society as a whole. (Actually, I guess the Consumer Product Safety Commission was already on the case before the original Times piece, as they'd recently issued a "forthcoming warning" about hazardous slings.) There's a inverse parallel here to the story five years ago, when that building collapsed on top of the 7-month-old baby [4], and the baby survived, after being buried in rubble for six minutes, because it was protected by the stroller it was in and that stroller happened to be a $600 Mountain Buggy stroller [5]. From the Times back then: A paramedic at St. Luke's, Jesus Palacios, said the baby, 7-month-old Abigail Lurensky, was probably buried for five to six minutes and was not bleeding. She may have been saved by her two-baby stroller, which enclosed her like a cocoon, he said. First it made you well up a little bit, reading that story. Then it almost made you wonder—about the Mountain Buggy marketing department's budget. Would they have enough to wire the foundation of an Upper-West-Side building with explosives and remote detonator, stake out the street from a windowless van and wait for a woman to push their product into position? I'd never heard of a company befallen by better luck. There was that thing in the '80s when Avon Skin-So-Soft was discovered to be an effective mosquito repellent [6]. That was pretty lucky. But this was like a gift from god. What better way to get a naturally worried consumer base to spend the, frankly, obscene amount of $600 on an item so readily available for a fifth of the price? Well, parents, you read the newspaper, you know it's a dangerous world out there. You now have a choice: will you spend the extra money on the stroller that's been proven to protect children from collapsing buildings? Or will you go with another model? Man, it must have been like printing money at Mountain Buggy for a while there. But as Infantino has learned, the media glare can cut both ways. [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/25/business/25recall.html?hpw [2] http://trueslant.com/davebry/2010/03/11/whats-the-matter-here/ [3] http://trueslant.com/davebry/2010/03/12/isolation-pods-vs-suffocation-chambers/ [4] http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/15/nyregion/15collapse.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all [5] http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0DE0DF1130F935A25754C0A9639C8B63 [6] http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/389520/avon_sss_100_ways_to_use_avon_skin.html?cat=6

So this is the cultural standpoint of the NCAA Tournament, witnessing Cinderellas emerge into bracket-killers and stun the at-large teams. It’s amazing to see teams dominate at will during the regular season, but disappear suddenly into the darkening clouds. With the Kansas Jayhawks collapsing in the second round, it’s clear evidence that their loss abolished all brackets and uplifted spirits for underappreciated teams. From agony to ecstasy, tourney observers have seen some of the craziest basketball, titillating those of us awaiting breathtaking buzzer-beaters, miraculous finishes, shooting spectacles, and whatever else is left. I’m starting to believe this is only an appetizer to the Final Four, amid a year when the glass slipper, seemingly, fits on the foot of many underdogs. If there are countless upsets projected to change facial expressions or obliterate more brackets, it’s the personality of an obscure Sweet 16, which gets underway Thursday. What’s incredible about college hoops is the dramatic excitement that leaves us curious to which team is relevant surviving a field of 64. Better than college football’s chaotic system, the wildest and most unpredictable spectacles happen in March, when the madness absorbs much attention. It’s funny how we tend to ignore the unprecedented, over-hyped of anointing the powerhouse conferences such as the Big 12 and Big East because of mystique, tradition, and athleticism. But lately, the basketball lords have failed to realize that any team is vulnerable to losing in any given contest or round. The same people who picked Kansas to win it all or even Villanova to orchestrate another spectacular run to the Final Four are stunned and angry at the way things turned out. Nobody predicted St. Mary’s to survive Villanova. Nobody envisioned No. 3 seed New Mexico falling apart against undefined Washington, a team representing the Pac-10 Conference like no other. Nobody pictured No. 4 seed Vanderbilt dropping dead to Murray State. And nobody anticipated a hard-fought battle from Northern Iowa, an unheard-of school from the Missouri Valley Conference, sending Kansas away heartbroken and in tears. That’s a sigh of relief for top-seeded Kentucky, Duke, and Syracuse. Still, has anyone realized they are just as vulnerable to fall to a Cinderella? Just thought it was worth a reminder. The elements haven’t been viewed respectively in recent memory, as mostly every smaller school was disregarded for its unpopularity or athletes. Other teams are refining the principles of college basketball and earn much acknowledgment for eliminating and humiliating top-notch conferences or teams. The perception in a sport with much obscurity has compelling scenes that aren’t seen often in the pros, even if the best team collapses. Besides hearing about the prominent favorites, parity is recognized among any team that has reached the Sweet 16, which means a multitude of teams are considerable. Other than constant debates, March Madness is the one sporting event an average human being cannot discuss too heavily. Ninety percent of the time, individuals are wrong about which team advances to the final. Meanwhile, what we do know, four teams are deserving of traveling to Indianapolis. For all we know, one of the No. 1 seeds could relapse in a week that dictates whether a team is worthy of making the Final Four. Make no mistake, a number of athletes and bracket killers have awakened in recent weeks, understanding there’s much at stake and winning is ensured. It’s not an awful suggestion to bet on an underdog team. There’s no reason to downplay a feel-good story or an epic Cinderella tale. Like everyone else, St. Mary’s, Northern Iowa, or Cornell is as just elite. What enables premier teams to keep their respect is the prior history and values of an athletic program. But unfortunately, it takes away from the underdogs, forgetting the athleticism they possess. This March has defied the laws of captivation, but more than anything, the principle of sleepers. Sure, some of them didn’t play well during the regular season, but whoever has enough toughness, faith, and momentum normally lasts until the ending of an epic sporting event. In fairness, as it stands in the West region, Syracuse has the nod. It’s the region with the fewest upsets, shattered hearts, and tears. With the Sweet 16 only a day away, there’s no Cinderella putting fear in the Orange. Four of the region’s top six seeds are still alive, angling to reach the most noteworthy part of the tournament. Make your pick. While No. 1 Syracuse is the favorite to survive a high-regarded region, there has been much debate as to whether or not someone else could cease the Orange’s hot run. The truth is, there are other teams as capable as the Orange to earn the privilege to compete in the Final Four. Still, it’s hard to imagine when Syracuse has the components, despite the loss of senior center Arinze Onuaku to a right quadriceps injury. Even with the loss feeling like a momentum default, the Orange is overlooked and has tremendous talent. Now that Wes Johnson is playing at such a high level, compiling 31 points and 14 rebounds against Gonzaga, he’s stout to replicate his finest results. Andy Rautins is also a key piece to their hot offense, scoring 24 points, and is one of the nation’s most talented shooters. As it seems, the ‘Cuse is the most well-balanced team in the tourney. Or has Tennessee increased their status as one of the threatening teams in the Sweet 16? Head coach Bruce Pearl has the Volunteers playing at their highest level, and no better timing than March. This time of year wins are critical, and the Vols responded in an 83-68 rout against Ohio, a program everyone believed in as a Cinderella. For now, we’ll have to wait and see before calling the Vols a Cinderella. This, however, is a scary March, if not the scariest ever. The underdogs are Butler or Kansas State. There’s no surprise, if either team pulls off a win against their opponents. No player is more impressive in the West Region than Kansas State’s Jacob Pullen, whose speed and outside shooting are dangerous, especially in the late minutes. In the second round, he managed to outscore BYU’s Jimmer Fredette in an up-tempo battle. What’s surprising is Purdue remains alive, without their second-leading scorer and second-leading rebounder Robbie Hummel, who went down at the end of the regular season with an injury. It’s a good thing the Boilermakers have contributed to rise during critical situations. Without their star, Chris Kramer and E’Twaun Moore are playing more minutes and averaging more points in the absence of Hummel. The Big Ten, a conference with its own television network and much basketball talent, has three schools playing in the Sweet 16. But there’s no team as brilliant as Ohio State, mainly because of the impressive season that Buckeyes sensation Evan Turner has produced. He’s now considered a top prospect in the upcoming NBA draft, leading the Buckeyes with his amazing ability to influence pro scouts. Whatever happens, he’s as good as Kentucky’s John Wall and Georgia Tech’s Derrick Favors. End of discussion. Aside from debating the NBA’s best No. 1 pick overall, St. Mary’s embarrassed and pummeled Villanova badly. Just ask the Wildcats. I think they’ll tell you the Gaels are the next upsetting team. Once again, Omar Samhan, who had 32 points in the win against Villanova, may humiliate someone else inside the paint. He may post up someone else and average high scores against someone else, and as a result, the Gaels may ride straight to the Elite Eight. That wouldn’t be a surprise. If anything, the nation awaits this time of year. If there’s one way to describe March, it’s talking about the amazing upsets and sleepers stunning the world with their abilities to captivate us. If there’s another way to describe March, it’s St. Mary’s and Northern Iowa. Tweet This! Share this on del.icio.us Digg this! Share this on Reddit Buzz up! Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon Share this on Technorati Share this on Mixx Post this to MySpace Share this on Facebook Blog this on Blogger Share this on Tumblr Post this on Diigo Submit this to DesignFloat Email this to a friend? Subscribe to the comments for this post? 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Section: iPhone / iPod touch / iPad, iPad, iPhone, iPod touch, iDevice Apps, iDevice Accessories, Mac Software

Macintosh and iPhone/iPod updates and announcements for March 24, 2010:

Macintosh

• Atlona’s HDViEW bridges the gap between your computer and your HDTV, allowing a simple solution for integrating your computer into your home theater. The HDViEW connects to the standard VGA monitor port on any computer, and outputs 1080P video through HDMI, the new standard for HD video. Since the HDViEW is powered through USB, there is no need for an additional bulky power supply. The HDViEW also takes audio from your computer’s speaker or headphone jack, and embeds it with the video over HDMI, so you’ll only have one cable going to your TV. The HDViEW is a powerful video processor with price so low, you can’t afford not to get one.
• Qoppa Software has announced PDF Studio 6 with CJK font support is now available. CJK is an acronym for Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. The added support to PDF Studio 6 allows users to work with PDF documents that use these character sets, but do not embed the fonts in the PDF files. Support for CJK content is crucial to address the Asian market and widens the appeal of PDF Studio as a low-cost alternative to Adobe Acrobat.

iPhone/iPod

• It is a truth universally acknowledged that slaying shambling hordes of the undead is a fine way to spend one’s leisure time. What better way than with Freeverse’s forthcoming action game for the iPhone and iPod touch: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? The game is based on the New York Times best-selling book that re-imagines Jane Austen’s classic novel following the young Elizabeth Darcy, her life, and her zombie battles in England during the Regency period. Freeverse has produced the official game for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a rollicking action title with the perfect blend of zombie slaying action and touching romance narrative.
• Imesart has introduced Disacol 1.0, the new logic game for iPhone OS devices. Disacol features an ingenious mix of box moving and color matching for a wonderful brain teasing experience. Move a box pusher around and bring boxes of the same color together to make them disappear. Find the right pushing sequence and make boxes of all colors disappear. Every level brings a new challenge. Progress and resolution times can be published on Twitter to challenge family and friends.
• Independent developer Paul Gee has announced DVD Ferret 1.2, his popular free utility for iPhone and iPod touch devices. DVD Ferret compares the price of DVD or Blu Ray media from 20 major internet retailers in the UK. Searches can be performed on the title, actor, director, category or format enabling the consumer to track down the latest release. Just tap on a match and DVD Ferret will display the list of retailers who are selling the DVD and tell you who is the cheapest.
• Skydda Design has introduced their affordable, premium-quality hardwood cases for the iPhone 3G and 3GS. The TradCase is available in Walnut, Cherry, and exotic Teak hardwoods, and the TradDuo is available in Maple/Walnut or Maple/Cherry. Each of these gorgeous cases is carved from a single block of premium-quality hardwood and hand-polished to a luxurious satin finish. Each TradCase and TradDuo is unique in color-tone and grain, making your case truly one of a kind.
• Since launching in the U.S. in February, The Game Trail userbase has grown over 400%. Driven by a desire for information about iPhone games and gameplay video, The Game Trail users are a specific sub-set of the iPhone shopper demographic; they play a lot of games and care about game quality. The average user spends nearly five minutes in the app and browses an average of 4.5 game titles. Out of several thousand visitors to date, about 10% go on to buy an app that they viewed in The Game Trail. The app’s sudden popularity corroborates independent research that suggests shoppers are 3-5 times more likely to buy an app when shown video of the game. The current most popular game genre as determined by The Game Trail users is Strategy.
• EQV Apps has released iGovernment Lite 1.0 for iPhone and iPod touch. This free application includes a sampling of the wealth of content from departments and offices across all three branches of the Federal Government. iGovernment Lite features news, blogs, photos, and video from the House, Senate, White House, Department of Defense, State Department, NASA, and more, all in the same easy-to-use, well-designed format that has made iGovernment so popular.
• kode80 LLC has released HoloToy 1.02, the second update to its remarkable 3D technology app for iPhone & iPod touch. Version 1.02 introduces a physics based bouncy ball that exists inside the virtual 3D space created by the HoloToy, challenge mode ups the fun. HoloToy works by distorting the 3D scenes displayed on screen in a way our brains would expect based on the current angle of the device. It presents a believable 3D scene that appears to extend right into the device itself.
• MacPractice, the leading Apple developer of practice management and clinical software for medical and dental offices, has announced that the company plans to become the first EHR/EMR solution built exclusively for the Mac platform to achieve certification to the federal government’s proposed Health Information Technology standards for electronic health records/electronic medical records (EHR/EMR).
• Orbit Media has announced a new version of the free Orbit Social Phone Book app so iPhone users have an even better way to manage connections with the people and the places in their lives. At its core, Orbit is a phone book, but it offers much more than the standard features such as embedded local search tools, putting Orbit on trend as we’ve seen many apps focus on location based search and local search recently, including Yahoo!’s announcement yesterday of the updated Yahoo! Search app.
• The APP Company has announced the release of the Buzz Aldrin Portal To Science and Space Exploration. This iPhone App launched by the pioneering Apollo astronaut and moonwalker Buzz Aldrin takes the user on a journey through the world of everything that is Space Exploration. The legendary space hero revealed that he was moved to design this app by the rush of interest in global space activity, particularly among young people, which he found resulted from the current celebration of the 40th anniversary year of his, Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins’s Apollo 11 mission and First moon landing.
• Protect your iPhone 3GS and 5G iPod nano in the finest possible style with Proporta’s Aluminium Lined Leather Cases (Apple 5G iPod nano and Apple iPhone 3G/3GS).  Handcrafted from the finest quality leather to the exact specifications of each device, both cases feature Proporta’s trademark “Screen Saver” System, with a sheet of lightweight, aircraft grade aluminium built in to protect against even the worst impact damage and crushing.
• iKit have made their first introduction into the car accessory world with the new AutoCharge USB car charger. This sleak little device allows you to charge on the move and has 2 USB ports for your iPhone and iPod. It features a high performance USB port which provides rapid charge convenience and is complimented with a ring LED charging indicator. The high gloss finish is an added bonus giving this product a slick and stylish look fit for any car.
• Fearless Records is the latest music partner to join micropublisher Appy Entertainment to use the new iPhone game, Tune Runner, as a discovery platform for promoting new music and bands. Starting today, “Hey Baby, Here’s That Song You Wanted” by blessthefall, and “Hello Fascination” from Breathe Carolina are featured atop Tune Runner’s Hot List.
• The Bon-Ton Stores, Inc. has created a new way of shopping this Prom season. With the combination of your iPhone and their application, you can find your perfect Prom look by discovering your very own Prom Personality. They’ll show you how to put together the perfect Prom look to match your unique Prom Personality—from makeup to shoes and everything in between.
• NoteCalc is a new approach to the classic scientific calculator. It shows your complete calculation formula just in the way you would write it on a notepad. NoteCalc allows you to alter any values or functions in your calculation at any time. Accidentally entered a wrong value? Put a ‘sin’ where a ‘cos’ was supposed to be? With a classic calculator you have to start over again. With NoteCalc, just tap the value or function in your calculation formula and correct it. It’s as simple as that.
• Have you ever forgot your lovely dog’s health care? The shampoo, medicine of the flea, medicine of the filaria, nail cut, injection and so on; do you remember next day when you have to do these things? DogCare is the tiny application in order to manage the care status of your lovely dogs. It designates that physical condition of your lovely dog is brought close to best state by managing the information.

Full Story » | Written by Kirk Hiner for Appletell. | Comment on this Article »

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As he stood on a Baltimore dock in a glorious March sun, U.S. Navy Cmdr. Tim Donahue remembered the Haitians. The 44 patients with spinal cord injuries, two of whom broke their necks. The 23-year-old woman who underwent 14 surgeries in 38 days to save her leg. The 16 adults and 13 children who were too sick or injured to be saved. Minutes earlier, Donahue had disembarked from the USNS Comfort, the massive and gleaming white hospital ship that pulled into its home port last week, two months after departing for its medical mission to Haiti. Donahue, the Comfort’s director of surgery, and his colleagues treated some 1,000 men, women and children injured in the 7.0 earthquake that decimated Port-au-Prince and surrounding areas. They rescued lives, they reunited parents and children, they brought hope to the sickest patients. “It was probably the most rewarding thing I’ve done in the Navy,” he said.

It is the best kind of military mission. For two months, Navy and civilian doctors and nurses slept in racks on top of each other, toiled in the belly of the vessel even as aftershocks shook the ship, and endured the emotional stress of treating battered patients. In the early days of the mission, I interviewed Capt. Michael C. Radoiu, a physician on board, who told me that “seeing young children in pain, and often horrid pain, has been my toughest challenge.” Radoiu has traveled around the world, but “I have never seen anything like the Haiti earthquake,” he said. The ups and downs were stark: the teamwork was great, Donohue told me, but the agony of what the Haitians had endured was incredibly sad. “I found nurses crying at the end of the day,” he said.

On March 19, the welcome home scene in Baltimore was all about celebration. Dozens of local school kids waited for hours to greet the Comfort and its staff. A team from Dunkin Donuts handed out free donuts, bagels and juice to keep everybody energized.

 

Students from St. Casimir Catholic School in Baltimore wait for the Comfort to pull into dock

 

The kids carried homemade signs (a bright pink one read: “Haiti Loves You! We do too!!!”), they waved and cheered. As crew members disembarked, students gave them certificates that read, “Your work on behalf of the earthquake victims in Haiti exemplifies the spirit of America, and we are all proud of you.”

Weeqwa Watkins, 11, a student at St. Ambrose, shows off a certificate she will give to Comfort staff members after they disembark from the ship.

Lt. Michel Santana and Lt. Evan Toatley stood on the dock after disembarking with their gear and big smiles. As Comfort docs and nurses cared for patients during the trip to Haiti, Santana and Toatley kept the ship’s store, laundry room and barber shop running. Most importantly, they made sure everybody got fed. Favorite morale-boosting meal: steak and crab legs. Most popular dessert: ice cream. “It starts riots,” said Toatley.

 

Lt. Evan Toatley (L) and Lt. Michel Santana pose after disembarking.

Haiti has faded from many an American memory, but its people still need help. The Comfort’s “Operation Unified Response” mission ended because the gravest injuries had been treated and it was no longer practical to helicopter patients out to the ship for care. But when I asked Donahue if he, personally, was ready to leave, he didn’t hesitate: “Of course, I’m a doctor. I would have loved to stay longer.”

(All photos taken by the author)

The Review at a Glance: (max score: 5 ) Film: Extras: Audio/Video total rating:

( Max score: 100 )

85

Studio and Year: 20th Century Fox - 2009 MPAA Rating: PG Feature running time: 87 minutes Genre: Animtion/Family Disc Format: BD-50 Encoding: AVC (MPEG-4) Video Aspect: 1.85:1 Resolution: 1080p/24
Audio Format(s): English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio, Spanish/French/Portuguese Dolby Digital 5.1 Subtitles:English, English SDH, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Cantonese, Mandarin Starring: Voices of: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Willem Dafoe, Michael Gambon, Owen Wilson, Bill Murray Directed by: Wes Anderson Music by: Alexandre Desplat Written by: Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach - Adapted from the book by Roald Dahl Region Code: 1 Blu-ray Disc release Date: March 23, 2010

"And so it begins"

Film Synopsis:

In there-imagined classic family tale, Mr. and Mrs. Fox live a happy home life with their eccentric son Ash (Jason Schwartzman) and visiting nephew Kristopherson. That is until Mr. Fox slips into his sneaky, old ways and plots the greatest heist the animal world has ever seen. When mean old farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean join forces to surround Mr. Fox and his family, they don’t realize they are not dealing with any old fox – it’s Fantastic Mr. Fox and he has a fantastic master plan to save the day!

My Take:

Adapted from the beloved children’s book by of the same name by Roald Dahl Fantastic Mr. Fox follows the misadventures of Mr. Fox, his wife Felicity, their son Ash, and nephew Kristofferson after Mr. Fox’s pilfering from three local farmers sets off a fervent search for him that ultimately comes to affect not only his family but many of the animals that commune in the area. The story begins with Mr. Fox (George Clooney) leading his wife Felicity (Streep) on a raiding mission of a squab farm when the two become caged in a trap set by the farm’s owner. Felicity reveals to Fox that she is pregnant and pleads with him to find a safer job should they escape. Two years later, the Foxes and their sullen son Ash (Jason Schwartzman), are living in a hole. Fox, now a newspaper columnist, decides to move the family into a better home in the base of a tree, ignoring the warnings of his lawyer Badger (Bill Murray). The tree is adjacent to three large farming facilities run by Walter Boggis, Nathan Bunce, and Franklin Bean. Soon after the Foxes move in, Felicity's nephew Kristofferson comes to live with them after his father has fallen ill. Ash finds this situation intolerable since seemingly everyone, including his own father, mentions the fact that his easy going and meditating cousin, is apparently superior to him in every way imaginable. Living so close to the three farms Fox finds temptation to great, and devises a master plan to steal from each of them but keeps it from Felicity. He enlists the help of an opossum, Kylie, the local maintenance guy and resident worrywart. The plan successfully comes off in three stages however the farmers, angered by the theft, call a meeting and come with up their own plan, which is to get rid of Mr. Fox by digging him out. As the farmers onslaught begins, the Fox’s tunnel their way underground and escape. In the process they run into Badger, and many of the other local animal residents whose homes have also been destroyed during the siege.

As the animals begin to fear starvation, Fox leads a digging expedition to the three nearby farms, robbing them clean of Boggis' chickens, Bunce's ducks and geese, and Bean's turkeys, apples, and alcoholic cider. In the meantime Ash and Kristofferson come up with the idea of breaking into Bean's farm, intending to reclaim Fox's tail (which had been shot off by Bean during the farmers initial attempt to kill Mr. Fox), only to find that Bean has taken to wearing it as a necktie. When they are interrupted by the arrival of Bean's wife, Ash escapes but Kristofferson is captured. The animals are forced to retreat into the sewers when the farmers flood their hiding place with cider, and Fox learns that the farmers plan to use Kristofferson as bait to lure him into an ambush. Mr. Fox will have to devise a master plan capable of saving the day and proving he is indeed Fantastic!

I enjoyed this film and loved the stop motion animation which truly is an amazing art form. Director Wes Anderson’s passion for the book, its author and the story is clearly evident. I think he captures the spirit of both very well by conveying it using a medium that helps to stimulate the imagination. It features a terrific cast of Hollywood notables headlined by George Clooney and Meryl Streep and includes contributions by Owen Wilson, Michael Gambon, Bill Murray, and Willem Dafoe. The film was nominated for Academy Awards for Best Animated Feature and Best Original Score, was a nominated for 2010 Critics Choice Awards for Best Animated Feature, and a Golden Globe Award for Best Animated Feature Film[23]. It ultimately lost all the nominations to Disney’s Up. Fantastic Mr. Fox makes for great family entertainment and looks splendid in high definition on Blu-ray from Fox.

Parental Guide:

The rating is for action, smoking, and slang humor.

AUDIO/VIDEO - By The Numbers: REFERENCE = 92-100 / EXCELLENT = 83-91 / GOOD = 74-82 / AVERAGE = 65-73 / BELOW AVERAGE = under 65 **My audio/video ratings are based upon a comparative made against other high definition media/blu-ray disc.** (Each rating is worth 4 points with a max of 5 per category)

Audio: 80

• Dynamics:
• Low frequency extension:
• Surround Sound presentation:
• Clarity/Detail:
• Dialogue Reproduction:

Video: 90

(Each rating is worth 4 points with a max of 5 per category)

• Resolution/Clarity:
• Black level/Shadow detail:
• Color reproduction:
• Fleshtones:
• Compression:

Fantastic Mr. Fox comes to Blu-ray from Fox featuring 1080p AVC encoded video that has an average bitrate of 20 mbps and lossless DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio sound that has an average bitrate of 2.6 mbps.

This is an excellent video presentation that boasts visually enticing imagery that looks great in high definition. Fantastic Mr. Fox on Blu-ray offers beautifully crafted stop motion animation that exhibits eye catching resolution and refined clarity. The shading and lighting used results in a dimensionally strong presentation that doesn’t exhibit dynamic contrast or deep penetrating hues. Colors utilize a limited and softer palette that is most decidedly a stylistic choice that mates well with the source in a satisfying way. Golden splashed highlights, sepia tones and beiges make up the majority of the color base with various stages of gray is used in various stages in both objects and backgrounds. Blacks are punchy and appear deep when onscreen with mixed content. Detail in shady areas and darkly lit backgrounds are excellent which enhances visual perspective in dim lighting. This is a pristine and visually engaging high definition presentation that looked amazing on my large screen. The lossless DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio soundtrack is solid as well. Dynamics are defining without being strident or edgy. Dialogue is rendered with refined clarity and revealing tonal character that has deep room penetration. The presentation has a frontal perspective with a diffused soundstage and well articulated detail. There is occasional use of discrete and spatial surround activity that adds depth to environmental sounds and provides front channel extension that broadens the sound field. Bass response wasn’t room filling but it appropriately supported the source elements and provided a tight, occasionally tactile low end.

Bonus Features:

• (HD) Making Mr. Fox fantastic (5 segments totaling 43 minutes) :
• 1. The look of Mr. Fox
  2. From script to screen
  3. The puppet makers
  4. Still life (puppet animation)
  5. The cast
  6. Bill (Murray) and his Badger
• (HD) A beginner’s guide to Whack-bat
• (HD) Fantastic Mr. Fox: The world or Roald Dahl – 3 minute featurette
• (HD) Theatrical trailer
• Bonus DVD of Fantastic Mr. Fox
• Bonus Disc – Digital Copy of Mr. Fox

Final Thoughts:

Wes Anderson’s film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved children’s book Fantastic Mr. Fox successfully draws fans into the wondrous world of his characters and brings them to life using beautifully crafted stop-motion animation that makes for a visually stimulating experience in high definition. The bonus supplements will be more appealing to adult fans than kids as there is little offered for younger viewers to be enticed by. As always I appreciate the inclusion of both a digital copy and standard DVD versions of the film. Fantastic Mr. Fox is good family entertainment that presents extremely well in this Blu-ray offering from Fox. Recommended.

Ralph Potts AVS Forum Blu-ray Reviews

Reference Review System: JVC DLA-RS20 1080p High Definition Front Projector (Calibrated by Jeff Meier) Stewart Filmscreen - Studiotek 130 G3 100” 16x9 Screen Anthem AVM50v THX Ultra 2 Preamp/Video Processor Sherbourn Technologies - 7/200 Seven Channel Amplifier Oppo BDP-83 Universal disc/Blu-ray Player (HDMI Audio/Video) Toshiba HD-XA2 HD DVD Player (HDMI Audio/Video) Sony Playstation 3 Blu-ray disc Player (HDMI Audio/Video) Oppo 970HD universal disc DVD Player (480i HDMI) Philips TSU9400 Pro Series Touch Panel Remote Control Canton "Ergo" Series speakers Axiom Audio QS8 Quadpolar speakers SV Sound PB-13 Ultra (Rosenut finish) APC AV S15BLK Power Conditioner/Surge Protector Furman SPR-20i Stable Power Regulator Wireworld, VizionWare, Audioquest, Best Deal Cables - Audio/Video/Speaker Cabling Cool Components - CP-CP102 cooling package

OK, let’s see if I can finish this before 2:30 AM so I can show up at work on time tomorrow.

I was thinking of writing up a white paper on why I think the tweeners who have taken control of the voting are accelerating the path Idol is taking to cancelation, and why the Idol producers won’t do anything about it, but now I realize that a) it probably doesn't matter what I think and b) it would double the time it will take to write this recap. So I’ll just do my job and save my ranting to perhaps another time.

The remaining 11 contestants are lined up on stage while Trained Seal looms over them from the video board. Downright scary if you ask me. Another scary thing is Trained Seal’s claim that last week the contestants were successful in rocking the Stones. The judges and Ryan are again introduced by the ominous announcer that is never heard from again. Little E walks out on stage looking around in amazement as if she had never been on stage before. Either that or there is a fly buzzing around her head.

Trained Seal breaks kayfabe for the first time this season by saying that the show is live from “Los Angeles” instead of “Hollywood.” There he goes, shattering the dreams of millions of tweeners worldwide who still think Hollywood is some magical place instead of the slum section of L.A. that it really is. Big Sexy reminds us that the loser this week misses out on the summer tour as if it is like a big deal or something. Little E talks about the importance of voting as if it is a big deal or something. Trained Seal tries to provoke Kara to criticize Simon for criticizing her song writing critique. Horny Chick babbles on about how much she knows about song writing though no one can hear her because Captain Jack is talking over her. Looks like Trained Seal plan backfired. After Trained Seal talks about Simon’s revealing V-neck sweater Captain Jack warns Ryan to stay away from his grill. More homo-banter ensues until Trained Seal and Little E exchange a safe kiss. Captain Jack then talks about how being kicked off this week is like getting 5 out of 6 numbers in the lottery, as if it is like a bad thing or something. Personally I would love to get 5 out of 6 numbers in the lottery. Captain Jack may not need the money but I sure do.

Another first of the season is this week’s tormentor Miley Cyrus. Trained Seal tries to dismiss the questions about whether or not a 17 year old can mentor contestants older than her by claiming that she has “lots of experience” and has “conquered all corners of the entertainment world.” Well Miley has not appeared on Dancing with the Stars yet so there is at least one corner of the entertainment world that she has not conquered yet. Miley talks about how seriously she takes her work and how she wants to tell the contestants to just be comfortable and have fun. Is it possible to be both serious and comfortable? Must be that lots of experience talking. Unlike most tormentors Miley actually has the guts to show up in the audience and listen to the contestants sing. Perhaps it is because none of them chose to sing one of Miley’s songs.

Lee DeWyze, “The Letter” by The Box Tops: Miley points out that Lee has not shown any stage presence so far. Glad to see that Miley is providing such sage advice, especially since every American over the age of 13 already knows this. Lee lays out a number of excuses for why he has been so vanilla on stage but in the end he admits that Miley is right. Even though it was announced as a Box Tops song Lee is singing the Joe Cocker version instead, complete with the horns but without the spastic motions. Lee is more or less in tune and on pitch, though he is adding a bunch of new words into the song and flubbing them at that. It was decent but not great, more or less average for him, though Lee showed more personality than usual. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s, 2 Lee’s and then claims that Lee “knocked it out.” Little E struggles to compare Lee to her favorite pen that started to run out of ink but then starts to write again. Kara claims that Lee has raised the bar for himself. Captain Jack gets the first of many boos tonight but claiming that Lee’s performance was corny and “not a recording performance,” whatever that means. Trained Seal asks Lee about Captain Jack’s comments from last week when he said that Lee was thinking too much on stage. Lee assures us that he was not thinking at all tonight. Take that for what you will.

During the break we learn that Kris Allen’s car tells him where he can get gasoline in Napa. Glad to see that he is still keeping up the kayfabe and having us believe that he actually drives to his own gigs. When we return Trained Seal brags about how 26 songs by former Idol performers have reached #1 on one of the infinite number of Billboard charts. The real question and the real indicator of how much influence Idol has on the charts is how many of those #1s were not sung by Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, or Chris Daughtry. I will take the under on that wager.

Paige Miles, “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins: This is the first of two songs tonight that remind me of an ex-girlfriend. Thanks guys, I needed that pick me up. Paige shows off a ring that she stole from a tweener in the audience, which Trained Seal tries to pawn off on Captain Jack. Miley follows the company line by bragging about the power in Paige’s voice, but then breaks kayfabe by pointing out how pitchy Paige is. Paige attributes it to her nervousness. Listen, if you’re nervous singing in front of a 17 year old then there is not much hope that you’ll be comfortable singing for 20 million viewers. Sure enough, Paige is very pitchy right from the first note. She is also racing ahead of the band as if she knows how bad she is singing and wants to get it over with as soon as possible. The pitch gets a little better when she starts shouting the chorus, but then, oops, there goes that note. Oh this was not good, our first train wreck of the season, and not the type of performance someone who was in the final two last week should have. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s and declares Paige’s performance to be “honestly…terrible” to only muted boos. Little E compliments Paige for not falling down from her high, high heels but then defers from further comment. Chicken. Hey, I can call her Chicken Little E! Horny Chick complains that Paige stopped listening to the judges, as if it is a big deal or something. Captain Jack asks Paige how she thinks she did. Usually this is a sign that Simon is going to be very negative and wants to avoid being booed. Usually the contestants who are asked this admit that it was not great but that they had fun, as if that is important or something. Neither Paige nor Captain Jack deviated from the script. Paige claimed that she had fun and Captain Jack claimed that the performance was terrible and killed her chances of winning.

During the break we learn that Olive Garden has a cooking school in Tuscany. Tuscany? Really? Is this the Tuscany in Italy or the one in Ohio?

Tim Urban, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen: The tweeners screech when Trained Seal announces his name and now I know why he is still on the show. Miley seems to think that the negative reviews Tim has been getting are because he sings the song straight instead of changing up the arrangement like the others do. So I guess Miley has been watching the show. So of course Tim sings this song straight, though instead of standing still and looking foolish he instead runs around the stage and looks foolish. His electric slide and venture into the mosh pit excites the tweeners though. It was an average vocal but a more animated performance from Tim than usual. Big Sexy utters 1 yo and 1 K-word and then complains about how this is supposed to be a singing competition. Chicken Little E prompts screeches from the audience by claiming that they will love the performance, but she thought it was corny and right out of High School Musical. That explains the screeching. Horny Chick gets booed for claiming that Tim is acting like he is an established artist instead of the loser that she thinks he is. Sounds like someone got rejected “airmail special” to quote the late, great Chick Hearn. Captain Jack says that the slide distracted from the song as if it were a good thing, trashes the song in general, and then tells Tim that he has no chance of winning unless he starts taking singing lessons. Like I've said many times the contestants should stop listening to the Idol vocal coaches if they want to have any chance of winning.

Aaron Kelly, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith: The string of oldies is broken by the youngest competitor. At least I still recognize the artist. During his Coca-Cola treatment we learn that Aaron has caught the laryngitis bug that Paige claimed to have last week and a bout of tonsillitis as well. Aaron is just a little bit intimidated by Miley, being that she is such a big star and everything and he sang Miley’s song “The Climb” at his initial audition. Miley makes a face when Aaron starts singing but then claims it was because she was surprised of how good he sang. It did not look like that kind of face to me. Aaron at least got a hug from his crush. Aaron starts off with a decent low register. He is no Steven Tyler but he is working this song out. Ballads are clearly his thing, especially since the tweeners love the chance to waive their arms. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s, 2 check it outs, and while it was not perfect it was much better than the previous 2 singers. Chicken Little E thought it was the perfect song choice, blames the pitchiness on Aaron’s various illnesses, and talks about how she can see his career already even though he is still in the third grade. Horny Chick loves Aaron’s consistency, his country twang, and something else that I missed because the piano player decided to start rehearsing at that moment. Captain Jack gets booed for saying the performance was old fashioned but gets cheered for saying the obvious, that Aaron has “zero chance of going home.” Trained Seal introduces Aaron’s phone number by saying “if you want to vote for David Archuleta here.” That only confirms to me that Aaron is destined for the Top 5 no matter how bad he sings.

Crystal Bowersox, “Me and Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin: I figured it was only a matter of time before Crystal sang a Janis Joplin song. Miley of course thinks this is the perfect song for Crystal but that she needs to be more animated. Crystal gets Miley to sign her guitar and join the other famous female artists who have added their autograph to it. Famous being a relative term. Crystal starts out quiet with only her guitar until the band jumps in at the chorus. Crystal was worried that she would not be able to hit the high notes at the end of the song but she seems to be doing alright to me. She is even a little bit animated. Nice, bluesy performance. I think I even feel a goosebump. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s and declares Crystal to be a star. Chicken Little E thought of Crystal when she heard this song on the radio but thought she was still a little too reserved on stage. Horny Chick thinks Crystal needs to put the guitar down and just let herself go. Crystal responds by promising something big for next week. With that and Casey’s promise to reveal his pre-performance ritual if he makes the Top 10 next week should be a dosey of a show. Simon basically says that the chick judges are idiots and that Crystal should not change a thing. He then compliments Crystal for not running around and sliding on stage and declares this version to be the best one he has ever heard.

Michael Lynche, “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge: Idol’s resident Casanova is Miley’s favorite because he was the only one who was not afraid to touch her. Instead he gave her two big ole bear hugs. Miley was also impressed that Mike made eye contact with her while he was singing instead of looking away in fear like everybody else. Mike wants to speak to all of the lovers out there, including presumably the 17 year old Miley Cyrus, so he chooses a song that is almost three times Miley’s age. The string quartet is back along with the screeches that both accompany Michael’s torch ballad right from the start. It was the usual from Big Mike, OK vocal, strong performance. He still seems to be the only one who feels comfortable on stage. In a way it reminds me of Adam Lambert, who also had OK vocals but much better performing skills than anyone else in the competition. I bet you didn't see that reference coming. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s, 2 check it outs, and lauds how Michael knows who he is even though it was only an OK song choice. Chicken Little E is still in love but thought it was safe like driving the speed limit. Horny Chick dares to anger the tweeners but describing Michael’s performance as boring, loungy, and over-indulgent. Horny Chick must be getting frustrated by all of these rejections. Captain Jack actually agrees with Kara for once and then suggested that it would have been better had Michael sung the song without the band. He then babbles on with some more technical stuff that was too boring to write down and then Captain Jack takes a shot at Trained Seal when he says how glad he is that he could talk to Michael without interruption for once.

Andrew Garcia, “I Heard It through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye: Andrew thought it was cool to be mentored by Miley, someone “at that level.” Which level he did not elaborate. Miley senses that Andrew was too intimidated being in her presence since he keeps forgetting the words, so she suggests that Andrew put the guitar down by telling him that the chicks will dig him for it. I am not sure that it helped but Andrew at least got a hug from Miley for doing it. It is an interesting arrangement that gets spoiled by Andrew’s pitchiness. Both Andrew and the band are clearly having fun with this song, which as we all know is important to these contestants but seems strangely inappropriate while singing a song about a guy who learns that his girl has been cheating on him. Decent vocal though. Big Sexy utters 1 yo and is disappointed by Andrew and his song choice. Andrew offers to kiss Big Sexy but that does not seem to help. Chicken Little E still loves Andrew but didn't think he would win over any new fans with that performance. Horny Chick feels sorry for Andrew because he seems to have lost himself and feels sick about having to bring up his performance of the Drunk Chick song again. Captain Jack gets booed for saying that Drunk Chick’s song is overrated, but then the audience gets eerily silent when the Captain rips into Andrew for destroying and sucking the life out of the song and for still not knowing what kind of artist he wants to be, except for perhaps making a living singing Drunk Chick songs. Andrew looks really upset about this and claims to Trained Seal that he does know who he is, though again he chooses not to elaborate.

Katie Stevens, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie, not The Four Seasons: I would have thought given Katie’s preference for older songs that she would have chosen the Four Seasons song, but I guess the presence of a tormentor who is the same age as her finally inspired Katie to take Chicken Little E’s advice and go younger. Miley offers little in the way of musical advice to Katie; instead they talk about boys and how to deal with criticism. Haven’t I been saying for weeks that Katie should just stop listening to the judges? I am only trying to help. Once again Katie starts the song in her low register, though this time I can actually hear the pitchiness that Big Sexy has been hearing for weeks. When she got to the loud notes her pitch was better though not great. Maybe she was distracted by her hair that kept trying to fall into her mouth. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s and thought it was too sharp. He did think that it was cool that Katie went young with both her song and her outfit. I think that is a little too creepy. Chicken Little E thought it was the best performance of the night, probably because of the young outfit, and called Katie the Dakota Fanning of American Idol, probably again because of the young outfit. Horny Chick starts her critique by challenging Captain Jack’s assessment that Katie is a country singer. That must have been on one of the audition shows that I missed because I do not remember hearing Simon say that. Captain Jack acts like he does not remember this comment either. Horny Chick then lauds Katie for finally feeling the song and realizing where she belongs, and oh by the way Katie has major pitch problems. Captain Jack thought it was a good performance and that meeting Miley was the best thing for Katie, but he still does not think Katie has found herself as an artist.

Casey Jones, “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News: This is the second song that reminds me of an ex-girlfriend, and of course it is performed by one of my least favorite contestants. I think he is torturing me in purpose. Casey tells Trained Seal during his Coca-Cola treatment that he will own this song, then after Miley recommends that Casey make more eye contact with the audience Casey claims he was going to do that anyway. Of course you were, Casey. Casey also tries to be funny by saying that he is a big fan of Miley’s dad Billy Ray Cyrus. No hug from Miley for this poser. The electric guitar is back again but Casey again waits until the end for the self-indulgent guitar solo. His pitch is OK but there is no power in his voice, and this after Casey claimed in his video that he chose this song because of its power. The tweeners dig it of course. Big Sexy utters 2 yo’s and declares that Casey is the greatest guitar player in the history of the show. Did he not just remind everybody that this is supposed to be a singing competition? And isn't it a little unfair to declare Casey the greatest Idol guitar player ever when the contestants were not allowed to play guitars until Season 7? Someone is not paying attention here and it is not me. It’s not Chicken Little E either after she says that this was the best performance of the night. Horny Chick thinks that Casey is on another level and in the zone, so I guess there is at least one contestant that is still taking Horny Chick’s sexting messages. Captain Jack does not want to get personal, with Casey at least, but wonders what twilight zone Horny Chick is listening to these songs in. The Captain gets booed by the audience and the other judges when he says that Casey is not current, not different, and sang like an 80’s cover band. But maybe it is because he is English. Trained Seal cannot understand why Captain Jack and Horny Chick can be hearing two different songs at the same time. One word for you Ryan: hormones.

Didi Benami, “You’re No Good” by Linda Ronstadt: Miley loves Didi’s vibrato, which must be Italian for “pitchy”. Didi and Miley talk about how to overcome nervousness on stage, so Didi chose this song to sing at her nerves because they are no good. Seriously, that is what she said. Didi starts the song way off pitch, perhaps Trained Seal’s mispronunciation of her last name made her nervous. The chorus is a little better but not by much. The sultry arrangement is interesting but a very bad fit for Didi’s flighty voice. She is trying very hard to make this work but for me it is not, though if you like her other performances you would like this one too. Big Sexy utters 1 yo but then more or less agrees with me. Ellen more or less agrees with me too. Horny Chick gets booed for accusing Didi of performing instead of singing and for being too dramatic. Captain Jack picks up on the acting theme by accusing Didi of taking Lacey’s role as the resident actress and singing the song as if it were the last act prior to the intermission. He too gets booed for his efforts. The Captain also plays the irony card and claims that it was ironic that Didi was screeching “you’re no good” over and over. Didi plays the desperate card by fighting back; claiming that she chose the song to do something different and to, you guessed it, have fun. That is the problem with this show right now, there is too many contestants having fun and not enough contestants who have musical talent.

Siobhan Magnus, “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder: Trained Seal and the band put on shades to shield their eyes from Siobhan’s 80’s style Flock of Seagulls hairdo. Molly Ringwald called and she wants her haircut back, after she voted of course. Miley likes the swagger in Siobhan’s voice, and judging from Siobhan’s reaction it was probably the first time she heard the word “swagger” used in reference to her. Siobhan also finally admits that she knows she has been different her entire life. I admire her courage to admit that while competing for the votes of tweeners in a singing competition. Other than being more melodic than usual it is a typical Siobhan performance, decent signing, lots of range, good tone, and a big scream at the end. This scream though sounded a lot more strained than the others. I could feel the goosebumps coming but the scream chased them away. Big Sexy did not utter a single yo, the only time tonight that this happened, and instead lauds Siobhan’s inspiring fearlessness. I’m not sure if he was referring to the hairdo or the scream. Chicken Little E tries to be funny by reciting a line for a 40 year old musical, quoting Oliver by asking “more please.” Horny Chick thought the scream at the end was amazing, and I too now wonder what planet she is listening to these performances from. Captain Jack again claims that some people will love it and some people will hate it and suggests that Siobhan considered screaming at the beginning of the song instead of at the end just to change things up a bit. Siobhan told Trained Seal that if she had a choice she would scream the entire song, and here I was just beginning to like her.

The Final Score: 20 shots at Captain Jack Simon; 17 shots at Trained Seal Ryan; 16 shots at Horny Chick Kara; 16 shots at Big Sexy Randy; 16 shots at Chicken Little E Ellen; 4 shots at Ricky Minor and the band, 12 shots at the audience, 1 shot at the Idol vocal coaches, and 13 shots at Miley Cyrus the tormentor. There were 6 references to former Idol contestants, 1 reference to Kelly Clarkson, 1 reference to Chris Daughtry, 10 references to other non-Idol performers (not counting the tormentor), and 3 references to Drunk Chick Paula. 2 Coca-Cola treatments, no iTunes plugs (Steve Jobs must no longer be watching), 1 name drop (almost missed Chicken Little E's dropping of Dakota Fanning), 2 K-word utterances, 17 yo’s from Big Sexy, 10 old-fashioned songs (11 if you count the new song by the old-fashioned artist, yeah I’m referring to you Aerosmith), 2 songs with sad associations for yours truly, 2 kayfabe breaks, 1 kayfabe maintained, 1 struggled metaphor, 1 train wreck, 1 restaurant challenge, 1 reference to High School Musical, 1 reference to Casanova, and another lonely goosebump.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: Crystal Bowersox once again gets the top star for being again the only singer to inspire a goosebump. Aaron Kelly is still far from the best singer in the competition but he has clearly found his niche with the ballads that the tweeners love and his voice can actually sing. I was one scream away from awarding the third star to Siobhan Magnus but that scream scared me into the big arms of big Michael Lynche, who gets the third star instead.

Idol Gives Back: I was not surprised to see Lacey, Paige, and Tim in the relegation zone but I was surprised that Lacey was the one sent home. But because I have not seen most of Tim’s performances I had not noticed until tonight how much the tweener girls screech when they hear his name. After hearing that I am not so surprised to see him still here. I still think Tim has no chance of winning but I suspect he will be on the show for a few more weeks than I had first thought he would be.

The Fearless Prediction: Do I dare tempt fate and predict that Didi will be sent home? No, I’m not going that far, but I would guess that she is relegation zone material. I am going to give Tim a break and not predict that he will be relegated and instead try Andrew again because the screeches for him were less than the ones for Tim. However, all of contestants had to feel like they were playing with house money after Paige butchered the Phil Collins song just a week after being in the bottom 2. If a decent performance last week could not get her out of the relegation zone then I cannot see how an indecent performance this week will keep her from being sent home and off the summer tour, not that it is a big deal or anything.

It's now 2:15 AM, which means I beat my deadline by 15 minutes. Not that this will make tomorrow any easier....

‘American Idol’ Season 9 Top 11 – Worst Episode Ever?

American Idol’ 9’s Top 11 is bound to go down in ‘Idol’ history as one of the worst nights of ‘Idol’ performances EVER — from the lame and generic song choices to the trainwreck performances to the teenaged mentor, Miley Cyrus, speed-talking as she offered up super-obvious performance tips to the kids.

AOL.Television.com

‘American Idol’: On the scene for Top 11 ‘performance’ night

When Your. Top. 11. took the stage at the top of the show, I had a few observations: I would like Katie Stevens to start wearing more age-appropriate shoes. Didi Benami cuts a Carrie Underwood-esque figure. Crystal Bowersox looks great in a hippie dress. Siobhan Magnus needed to be singing Pat Benatar in her outfit/fauxhawk, or nothing at all. Michael Lynch could devour up to three of his fellow contestants without noticeably changing in size. With about 20 seconds to go, Debbie — whose wide-leg pants I now covet — directed Ryan Seacrest toward two audience girls sharing a single sign proposing marriage. He gestured the world’s least-sincere yesss fist-pump at the prospect of statutory polygamy. And THIS. was American Idol.

Popwatch

More Idol Recaps after the jump…keep checking back for more.

‘American Idol’ recap: 10 Mileys of Bad Road

I’ve never quite understood the inherent sadism of American Idol’s summer tour policy. Every year the show names 12 (or last year, 13) finalists, but only makes room on the sightseeing bus for 10 of ‘em.

Okay, yeah, so last season’s Kradison Festival of Awesome wouldn’t have benefited much from the vocal stylings of Jasmine Murray or Jorge Nuñez (although Alexis Grace is quite another matter…hmph!), but as Simon pointed out tonight, finishing 11th on Idol is akin to getting five out of six lottery numbers: ”It’s the worst night to go home.”

Entertainment Weekly

Ann Powers: Underconfident, the Idols overreach

Hubris. Whomever remains to sing and, eventually, go on the summer tour after Wednesday’s elimination round on “American Idol” should spend some time pondering that very old but suddenly relevant term. Though this season’s remaining bunch is hardly overconfident, the ridiculous song choices and emotionally tone-deaf performances this week showed a lack of self-awareness that translated into fatal overreaching.

LA Times

Miley Cyrus gives back on ‘American Idol’

It’s Billboard No. 1’s night on “American Idol” and Miley Cyrus mentor night too! Let’s see how many times Miley can make it all about her!

Show host Ryan Seacrest asks judge Randy Jackson to explain the mysteries of ‘Idol’ arithmetic to him; it goes like this. There are 11 Idolettes. The top 10 get to go on tour, the one who gets the hook this week does not get to go on tour because 11 is one more than 10. The 1 Idolette will lose out in the Giant Opportunity. Judge Ellen The Generous talks about the importance of something called “voting” because it’s votes from viewers that determine which of the Idolettes has the fewest “votes” and that person will be the one who is not part of the 10. Judge Simon Cowell, however, says it’s like if you were an Idolette who had six numbers on a lottery ticket and only get five, because then you don’t get to go on tour, you lose a lot of money and it’s damaging to your career. “That’s why I love this night”. Cowell adds.

Washington Post

American Idol: The Top 11 Tackle No. 1 Hits

Given free reign to pick any song that’s been a No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100, which one – which era – the “Idol” contestants choose says a lot. Is Casey James a tacky goofball? He most certainly is, as was clear from his selection of “The Power of Love,” by Huey Lewis and the News. It’s a square, stiff song, moldy even upon its release, and its terse vocal lines did little to show off Casey’s rough edges.

NY Times

Forget ‘Idols’ singing No. 1 hits — focus is Miley

In many ways, Tuesday was a typical night on “American Idol.” Crystal Bowersox was good, Paige Miles and Tim Urban were bad, Ellen DeGeneres compared one singer to a pen and quoted Oliver Twist to praise another … you know, the usual.

MSNBC

‘American Idol’ Top 11: Crystal Bowersox, Aaron Kelly Find Hits On #1 Night

With Tuesday night’s (March 23) broad theme of #1 Billboard hits to choose from, “American Idol” contestants had the opportunity to choose the perfect vehicles to establish themselves as artists worthy of making the top 10 — and the lucrative Idols Live! summer tour. But several stumbled anyway, leaving the judges baffled by their wrong or too-easy song choices. Only Crystal Bowersox, Aaron Kelly and Katie Stevens earned praise across the board.

MTV

‘American Idol’ Recap: Michael Lynche Loves A Woman, Crystal Bowersox Parties With Bobby McGee

Expectations are now so low on this season of “American Idol” that when news broke that Miley Cyrus was going to “mentor” the Top 11 as they sang “Teen Idol Hits No Wait Billboard #1 Hits No Wait Both Maybe,” I shrugged and said, “Eh, they’ve had worse.” (I’m still laughing at producers for letting Jennifer Lopez give singing tips to Melinda Doolittle.) Looking back on my reaction, I now see I was dead wrong.

MTV

Alexis Grace: ‘I secretly want Crystal and Siobhan to duke it out’

Last night on American Idol, the stakes were high!

The top 11 contestants performed on what Simon said to be “one of the most important shows of the season.” Tonight, one will say goodbye to the Idol stage and the top 10 tour for good.

The theme: Billboard’s Number One hits.

USA Today

Miley Cyrus Dishes Out Advice On ‘American Idol’

While previous “American Idol” mentors have included Barry Manilow, Randy Travis and Diana Ross, the show took things a bit younger this week with Miley Cyrus coaching the top 11 contestants. The theme of the week was #1 hits, and, as Ryan Seacrest pointed out at the top of the show, “This pop princess may only be 17, but she has a lifetime of experience.”

MTV

American Idol’ recap, rankings, polls, top 11 performances,

The show should have stuck with “teen idols.” We might have been more entertained than this overly broad “Billboard Number Ones” theme.

Overall, this night was uninspired at best. I only truly enjoyed Crystal Bowersox as usual. A few folks were okay – Casey, Michael, Lee, Katie. Everybody else left me in the cold – with no coat.

Atlanta Journal Constitution

‘American Idol’ Season 9, Top 11 Perform; Miley Cyrus Mentors: TV Recap

The Idols picked their way through Billboard’s best Wednesday night in an episode that raised many questions:

Okay, that wasn’t a real concern. But it was strange that the seasoned veteran mentor could have been many of the Idol’s 17-year-old kid sister.

Wall Street Journal

‘American Idol’ Recap: Idols Take on Billboard No. 1s

Wooo! Billboard No. 1s is the theme this week! The “AI” behind-the-scenes people have been running around our offices this week — alas, no Miley Cyrus sightings, though. Let’s get to it. Oh wait, let’s get to it after 10 minutes of inane chatter between the judges.

First up, Miley’s advice for the contestants: Have a famous dad, and hook up with Disney when you’re 11. Failing that, be true to yourself and connect with your fans.

Billboard

American Idol: The Final Eleven

Legendary music veteran Miley Cyrus imparted her decades of showbiz wisdom to the young whippersnappers of tonight as they chose #1 songs from the Billboard Hot 100 (a list that’s three times as old as Cyrus is). Who benefited from her mentoring? We’ll find out… after the break! (Or, actually, by clicking on the pictures below.)

TIME

Miley Cyrus Guides “American Idol” Through Disastrous Number Ones

You may not like “Party in the U.S.A.” You may not understand the significance of the response, “She’s just bein’ Miley.” But it would be hard to claim that mentor Miley Cyrus was the weak link on last night’s horrendous American Idol. Which songs were up for grabs? Every single Hot 100 Number One in history. So why did history range from 1967 to 1998 with one little detour into the present century for a Fergie ballad? And perhaps more importantly, why did every contestant respond to their critique by announcing they “had fun with it”? What’s fun about disastrous, awkward songs? And even more importantly why did nobody mention the passing of Memphis legend Alex Chilton when Lee DeWyze sang a song by his early band the Box Tops? Disgraceful stuff, Idol.

Rolling Stone

The ‘American Idol’ Top 11: Just Being Miley

I admit that when I first learned that teen-queen Miley Cyrus would be the guest mentor on “American Idol” this week, I bristled and balked. Considering that past “Idol” mentors have been veterans with decades of experience–Smokey Robinson, Dolly Parton, Burt Bacharach, Stevie Wonder, Brian May and Roger Taylor of Queen, Gladys Knight–the idea that Miley (who, at 17, is younger than all of this season’s remaining contestants except for Aaron Kelly) would be doling out advice seemed very suspect. But Crystal Bowersox, arguably the most indie-credible contestant of Season 9, showed Miley some real respect Tuesday night by asking Miley to autograph her six-string. (“I always have powerful and beautiful women sign my guitar,” Crystal explained; other honorable signees include Melissa Etheridge and past guest judge Shania Twain.)

Yahoo.music.com

Final 11: It’s Karaoke Time

This is what Idol has fallen to. A night of Karaoke Klassics sung by the weakest Final 11 yet, while being mentored by a 17 year-old singing Disney automaton. It’s safe to say this night will not go down in the annals of history.

This season is horrible. There’s no getting around it. The category could be “The Greatest Songs Of All Time” and they’d still manage to find the duds. Tonight was about horribly over-played songs ruined in all new horrible… and funny ways.

Vote For the Worst

Top 11 Recap- Miley Cyrus Saves The Season With The Best Episode Yet

Bless you, Miley Cyrus. I don’t care that you’re a trashy baby hooker that mentored contestants 10 years older than you for #1 hits week even though you’ve never had a #1 hit. And I don’t care that you somehow thought it was appropriate to introduce yourself to each contestant that you mentored as if they don’t know you. For you, Miley Cyrus, have taken an incredibly dull season of American Idol and made it hilariously entertaining. I don’t know what you did, but whatever you told the contestants suddenly made them all hilariously terrible. Tonight, there were so many classic VFTW performances, I couldn’t contain myself. It was one of the best episodes of Idol all season, if not in the last few years.

Vote For the Worst

When Eggheads Attack: An American Idol Debate

Miley Cyrus’s mentoring skills on last night’s American Idol were no match for the train wreck of vocals that followed. Fortunately, we have assembled a trio of experts who can help Cyrus assess what exactly went wrong with each performance. The panel includes: Susan Fast, a music professor at Ontario’s McMaster University and author of “In the House of the Holy: Led Zeppelin and the Power of Rock Music”; Dr. Avi Rubin, who studies electronic voting as a professor of computer science at John Hopkins University and was a former research scientist at AT&T Labs; and Richard Drews, a professor of voice at Northwestern University’s Bienen School of Music. Here’s the advice they have for the final 11.

Newsweek

Top 11 Perform

Hi there, American Idol watchers! I would call you “fans”, but you would only deny it. You=Peter, Simon Cowell=Christ. Claire is out doing the things she does that make her so undeniably Zulkey, so I’m here to miss Lost and keep you apprised of what these eleven dingalings are up to tonight. This week’s theme is “Billboard #1 Hits”, which is boringly broad, but at least leaves open the possibility that someone will sing “In the Year 2525R43;.

AV Club

“American Idol” recap: Wake up, Ellen!

Tuesday’s episode of “American Idol” featured the top 11 finalists singing #1 Billboard hits. The good news was that the contestants had literally thousands of songs to choose from — songs they could make their own, be original and strut their stuff. The bad news was that even that couldn’t save Billboard’s #1 night.

Salon

Miley Cyrus a surprisingly good mentor to the final 11, four of whom should go home now

The good news: American Idol 9 is starting to show some signs of life, with a few great performances, a couple good ones, and a surprise. The bad news: We still have to wait a month until after Tim Urban, Paige Miles, Andrew Garcia, and Katie Stevens get voted off for the performance shows to not drag. Then again, I might just be holding the show to the same standard that Ellen applied to Paige: As long as it doesn’t fall on its ass, it looks good. And no one is doing anything truly stunning.

Reality Blurred

‘American Idol’ Throws Its Very Own Party in the U.S.A.

Tuesday’s ‘American Idol‘ paid homage to songs that reached No. 1 on the pop charts, with the singers being mentored by a teenaged starlet who has never achieved that feat. (Oh, ‘American Idol,’ your logic this season continues to be impeccable!)

‘Hannah Montana‘ star Miley Cyrus helped the 11 remaining contestants navigate their way through songs that were more often than not older than everyone involved, and the results were, to put it kindly, not all that great.

Fancast

We all know that if we want to lose weight then we have to burn off more calories than we take in. But, in this modern world, science and technology have saved us time and sweat to do many things. Thus, we end up doing less and eating more and becoming fatter.

With your hectic schedule and busy work day it can be really hard to get in a good workout. Thus people are always on the lookout for ways to burn up more calories in less amount of time. There are many ways to remove those annoying calories and lose weight. You are able to make losing weight quicker and simpler by boosting your metabolic speed and burning more calories. Here are just a small number of practices you can embrace to burn more calories in less time:

1. Build muscle: Building muscles is one of the best ways to lose more calories fast. Your body requires approximately 6 calories to sustain a sustain a pound (or 0.45 kg) of muscle. So the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. There are a lot of weight lifting exercises to build up your muscle mass.

2. Interval Training: If you are looking to burn fat and become more toned, then varying your exercise intensity is critical. Varying your workout's intensity will stimulate your body to burn more calories and induce a greater cardiovascular response. Every five to six minutes into your walk, run for one minute. Every five to six minute into your jog, run hard for a minute. If you cycle, every five minutes into your bike ride, pedal hard for a minute on a higher gear.

3. Eat little but frequently: Eat five to six small meals each day. Eating something small and nutritious every 3-4 hours will keep your metabolism running smoothly and efficiently, which in turn helps your body to burn more calories.

4. Drink Green tea: Green tea has been shown to have calorie-burning properties. A study conducted at University of Geneva found that green tea contains catechin polyphenols - plant chemicals - that may boost metabolism. If you don't like green tea then you can also burn calories by drinking caffeinated black tea. Caffeine makes people more active and can cause metabolic body changes that will burn more calories. It is also an appetite suppressor, so it will stop you eating lots during snack times.

5. Don't skip breakfast: Always have a healthy and energetic breakfast. The earlier in the day you eat, the earlier in the day your body begins burning calories.

6. Keep moving: Don't just sit still. Keep moving at all times. Choose an active lifestyle over a sedentary one. Shake your foot if you keep your legs crossed; drum your fingers, tap your feet etc. Anything that gets your body moving.

7. Reduce the temperature: Shivering burns calories, so spend more time outside when it's cold. When your body is cold, it must expend more energy to get warm.

8. Eat spicy: Eating hot spices might speed up your metabolism temporarily (for up to 3 hours). Just half a teaspoon of cinnamon per day can help boost metabolism and keep blood sugar levels in check. 3-4 chilies will boost your metabolism even more. It makes food taste a lot better as well so it is an easy bonus that you can use. However, it is important to take spicy foods moderately especially if you have sensitive stomach or you simply have a low tolerance for them.

9. Eat more protein: Protein requires a more complex chemical breakdown by your body in order to be digested and used as fuel. Eat a portion of protein at every meal and as part of your snacks and you will increase the total number of calories you burn each day. Eating protein also helps to prevent muscle loss while dieting.

10. Embrace inconvenience: Take the longest route. Whenever you have to go somewhere, go out of your way. Those few extra steps will help you burn more calories.

11. Squeeze Ball: A very effective way to burn calories and work out your hands (particularly your forearm) is to squeeze a small ball. You can use a squeeze ball while you are watching TV, talking on the phone or anytime you are dormant. If you don't have a aqueeze ball, just make and loosen a fist repetitively.

12. Swing arms while walking: It may not seem like much work, but swinging your arms while walking can burn up to 5-10 percent more calories. Also, it will gave a better aerobic workout and engage more muscles. To burn more calories while walking you can also vary try to your terrain like walking on a hill.

Apart from burning calories, you should also focus on reducing the intake. Reduce the calorie intake slowly. Begin by reducing your daily calorie intake by 150 to 300 calories. As you reduce your daily calories, you should be able to observe a stark difference in the mirror. Simple things like these can make a huge difference to your diet and to your waistline.

Related Articles:
The Key to Weight Loss Success
Health Hazards of Obesity
How to Stay Fit in Winter?

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Sophal Ear: Cambodian thinker		+ enlarge
Mar. 23 2010 - 06:33 pm

Simply dressed in his favorite khakis and dark brown V-Neck T-shirt, Sophal Ear took to the stage in style at the Technology Entertainment and Design (TED) conference, and gave a fascinating talk on 'escaping the Khmer Rouge,' in February 2009 in Long Beach, California. Much known for leveraging the power of ideas to change the world, the first TED conference was held in 1984.

Born in 1974 Phnom Penh, Cambodia, Sophal Ear was raised and educated in the United States of America. He studied both Economics and Political Science at the University of California, Berkeley. He's currently an assistant professor of national security affairs at the U.S. Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, California.

Sophal Ear on how his mother, Cam Youk Lim (1936 - 2009) survived Cambodia's tragedy. February 3-7, 2009--photo courtesy of TED.

Some remarkable world's leaders who have given TED talks include Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Gordon Brown, Bill Gates, and Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin. Sophal Ear is undeniably the first Cambodian-born American to take TED stage and in 2009 become a TED fellow through the TED Fellows, a fellowship program for young world-changers and pioneers who have shown unusual accomplishment and exceptional courage. He currently is writing a book on the unintended consequences of foreign aid in Cambodia. 

Tharum Bun: I would like to share condolences to the loss of your mother. It was inspired to see her presence at your talk at TED in February last year. She had an incredible story of survival from the Khmer Rouge atrocity.

Sophal Ear: My mom was very special to me. I am still trying to publish the Eulogy to her (see link below) in an international news outlet.

Q: How did you get invited to talk at TED?

A: I applied and was selected as a TED Fellow in 2009, so I got to go to the 25th Anniversary TED Conference which that year moved to Long Beach, California, from Monterey, California where it had previously been held for 24 years and where I also happen to live. As a TED attendee (known as a TEDster), everyone is invited to submit a proposal to give a talk at TED-University, which is an auditorium that holds 800 people or on the mainstage (but limited to 3 minutes). My proposal was accepted and I was given SIX WHOLE MINUTES on the TED-U stage. Not all talks given at TED on the main stage or the TED-U stage become video TED Talks, but luckily mine did, and it's been an amazing experience. I've even got a picture of my mom receiving a standing ovations after my talk and in the back is a familiar face, that of Bill Gates. I wouldn't have figured it out were it not for Picasa (a Google product), which crops faces and showed me, quite unmistakably Mr. Gates' face.

Q: When did you start learning about the Khmer Rouge?

A: I think I've always been interested in politics both French and American, but particularly Cambodian politics, and naturally the topic of the Khmer Rouge comes-up frequently. From a very young age, I knew my family was a family of refugees and that was when we lived in France. At the age of 10, when I moved to the US, I remember writing a letter to then President Ronald Reagan about the need to continue to fight communism. It was in my 7th grade English as a Second Language class at Willard Junior High School in Berkeley, California. My classmates thought it was funny, and I am sure that if my teachers knew, they would have been appalled. Berkeley is a very liberal city. Later on, at 15, I started corresponding with Hann So, the founder of a newsletter called Khmer Conscience (KC). My missives to him became long elaborate letters typed on my typewriter. He printed some of my stuff and eventually, at 16, he sent me a clipping of a piece entitled "Are We Ready for Democracy?" in a newspaper called Ngoi Viet (Vietnamese People) Weekly that had reprinted it from his newsletter. That piece was from a letter I'd written him which he had published in KC unbeknown to me. I was so thrilled yet terrified and embarrassed that it took me at least 10 years to summon the courage to read it in full. It became the first thing I ever published in a real newspaper.

Q: How did your mother tell you about her own story?

A: Mom was never shy about sharing her past, but it took many years for me to get more and more out of her. You have to ask questions, and in 2004 I decided I was going to write a piece based on her story for the New York Times Lives Page. This is the last page of the New York Times Sunday Magazine, which I read religiously as a boy because my neighbor in Oakland, California, was a Khmer-American who delivered the New York Times and would give me a copy every day. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, frankly, because the Times is still my favorite newspaper ever. They have "as told to" one page stories, and this would be of my mom telling me her story. It was at first rejected (DC-Cam picked it up here), but the next year, I tried again and it made it to the Times on 17 April 2005, the 30th Anniversary of the fall of Phnom Penh. You can read it here. This goes to show that failure is not the end, it's just the beginning. Along the way, strangers helped shepherd it along, coaxing big-shot editors to give it some consideration, pulling and prodding, and eventually it worked. I was amazed. To top it off, the piece also paid really well, $1,000!

Q: How did she feel during her first visit to Cambodia (including Pursat) and Chau Doc and Hung Ngu in Vietnam?

A: Her first visit back to Cambodia was without me, but her subsequent visits were always with me. One even lasted six months, which was an amazing time for her, one of the few stretches in her life when she didn't have to wear multiple socks or layers upon layers of jackets (she picked-up Malaria under the Khmer Rouge and ever since had felt cold all the time). When we went together to different parts of Cambodia, including Vietnam, it was for her a happy time. It was as if she could finally enjoy these places as a tourist and put away bad memories of the past--having been helpless or in danger decades earlier. I think it helped to erase some of that bitterness and sadness and it cast a new light on these places. I know she had a wonderful time because her pictures show her smiling and at peace.

Q: Was there any suspicion on changing names of Vietnamese girls to those of boys and on boys’ to those of girls?

A: Thankfully, Ms. Teuv, a random Vietnamese lady she met in the testing camp, told her this before she actually announced the names to the authorities testing her. You see, strangers can save lives, and they often do.

Q: What's your Vietnamese name given by your mother?

A: My mom gave me the name "Bear", which is just a diminutive for little (or youngest one) one in Vietnamese. I probably was given a formal Vietnamese name, but it was just for that short stretch of time of days or weeks.

Q: Were you or your late mother aware of any Cambodian families who went to Vietnam for survival? If there was any, how did they survive? Other than the Vietnamese language, were there any other conditions during that time that people trying to escape to Vietnam could use?

A: There are many other people who did the same thing we did. I know of at least a half dozen personally, but there were hundreds of people if not of thousands of people. There was even an area for them--not a refugee camp--but a temple that they hung out at in Ho Chi Minh City called Watt Chanta Reang Sey. They survived because the Vietnamese did not send them back, and they basically made ends meet somehow, not that they got much help. We were lucky, my aunt had married a Vietnamese barber in Phnom Penh and when Lon Nol kicked out a lot of Vietnamese after his 1970 coup d'etat, the barber returned to Vietnam with my aunt. My aunt had also been helpful to the Vietcong (she wasn't well off, so she probably figured it might benefit her), so they were nicer to her and her family when they took over Vietnam. I think they gave her a letter or somesuch for having helped them. As a result, she could protect us somewhat, but life was still very difficult for them and for us.

Of the six people that I personally know, it seems that all spoke Vietnamese... but it's possible that those who didn't could have been helped by family living in Vietnam who were Khmer Kampuchea Krom for example or, as in the case of my aunt, Khmer married to Vietnamese. But crossing under the circumstances we went through would not have been possible if you didn't speak Vietnamese. In fact, real Vietnamese people failed the test. Those who had lived in Cambodia for too long could no longer speak it convincingly according to my mom and flunked. Others passed, but their spouses couldn't, and they had to decide then and there whether to stay or leave. It was like the movie Sophie's Choice, a terrible situation.

Q: What is your next plan in your civil complaint about the death of your father to the Khmer Rouge Tribunal?

A: Well, there's nothing to plan but to wait and see. The unemployed in Cambodia like to say that they walk kicking air. In a way, that's what I'm doing when it comes to this complaint. It's not as if I need or want anything from them, after four years of neither here nor there and more than one hundred million dollars, what can you expect? I just hope they release their first verdict before they exceed the number years, months, and days the Khmer Rouge were in power.

Q: What is your overall perception about the tribunal process?

A: As it happens, today my Op-Ed came out in the Global Edition of the New York Times and tomorrow's print edition of the International Herald Tribune. Read it here.

Q: What's your impression of Cambodia when you visited for the first time?

A: Oh, it was amazing, it was like making new memories of things I'd dreamed about but never remembered until I got there. I remember getting a ride from cyclo powered by a boy my age. He was thin and small, my size. He could have been me, and I him. Life's so random. Why did he have to stay in Cambodia and why did I get to leave? My mom took risks, Ms. Teuv helped, a random Frenchman in France helped get us out of Vietnam, an aunt in America sent money, cajoled and pressured. It's amazing how nothing that happens to you is simply your own actions. It's always the efforts of many, and yet it all seems random. But is it really?

Q: What inspired you to be who you are today?

A: My interest in politics led me to study political science as an undergraduate, but I also had to do economics because I felt that I needed to know not just how to write, but how to count too. One day, while doing my econ honors thesis, I stumbled upon a footnote in a book edited by Karl Jackson called Cambodia: Rendez-vous with Death. It talked about scholars who supported the Khmer Rouge. I was aghast! I decided right there and then to find out more and to write a second thesis, which I did, and which became the Khmer Rouge Canon. Thus was born my love of studying Cambodia and all things political and economic having to do with Cambodia. I felt that it was my duty, as a survivor, to do what I could to improve the knowledge of the country. I wrote in the preface to my theses that if they were totally wrong and caused others to study Cambodia because I was wrong, then I would have at least accomplished (and succeeded in producing) that much. But in the end, it isn't what inspired me to be who I am today, but who inspired me to be who I am today. My mom was both mother and father to me since I grew up without a dad, and as a survivor who triumphed against all odds, she inspired me to be who I am today. She saved five kids and 14 grandkids' lives by passing those two language exams (one by the Khmer Rouge and another by the Vietnamese) and crossing into Vietnam to freedom from the Khmer Rouge. She is literally responsible for my son's life and my nieces and nephews' lives in very a literal way, and I cannot even begin to fill her shoes. Read her Eulogy here.

 

After the compelling talk, Sophal Ear introduced and paid tribute to his beloved mother (standing), who saved her children and grand children from Cambodia's infamous genocide, to a group of distinguished audiences that include Microsoft chairman and world's pragmatic philanthropist Bill Gates (at the back, second from the right). Sitting left next to his mother is his 8-month pregnant wife, Chamnan Lim. February 3-7, 2009--photo courtesy of TED.

Note:

• Sophal Ear: The views expressed in this article do not represent the views of the US Navy or US government.
• Tharum Bun: my special thank to both Socheata Vong and Kounila Keo for helping me to come up with some of the questions in this email interview.

Links:

• Sophal Ear: Escaping the Khmer Rouge: 
• TED2009: the great unveiling: http://conferences.ted.com/TED2009/
• Eulogy for a Cambodian grandmother: http://faculty.nps.edu/sear/1/grandma.pdf
• Sophal Ear: http://faculty.nps.edu/sear/ -- http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~sophal/
• Socheata Vong: http://socheata.com/
• Kounila Keo: http://www.blueladyblog.com/

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“Sauntering, in the best sense, is when you’re walking the ground like it’s holy, and that’s how I wanted to view Philadelphia, and I do,” says local poet CA Conrad. “It’s not perfect. I’ve seen so many people kill themselves … die of murders.”

Twenty-four years ago, Conrad fled what he calls the “white-trash asphyxiation” of rural central Pennsylvania into the gritty bosom of Philadelphia to live out his calling. The gay poet says that after years of enduring homophobic taunting in his hometown he came to the city because, “I loved poetry and I didn’t know where else to go.”

Conrad’s an intense guy. For the last quarter century, he’s been relentlessly mining corners of every experience to find the words he wrestles into elegantly bizarre knots of award-winning poetry.

Now, along with friend and frequent collaborator poet Frank Sherlock, Conrad has delivered a dark and sometimes bizarre love letter to Philadelphia. The City Real & Imagined , released last month by Factory School, is in some ways a fractured epistolary ode to Philadelphia, a city that Conrad loves deeply and, all these years later, still sees as his salvation.

Relying on an artistic relationship that’s been strong since they decided to exchange poems through the mail in 1995, Conrad and Sherlock were inspired to discover Philadelphia new again. For each day, 12 in all, that they worked on the manuscript, they’d meet at LOVE Park, touch Robert Indiana’s Love statue, then amble in a new direction, reading graffiti, listening to street sounds and the people who live there, exploring corners and bodegas and bars. “It’s not some Pollyanna thing,” says Conrad.

In the book, he quotes a drag queen on the corner of 13th & Spruce (“$100!? Do you know how many dicks I’ve got to suck to make $100!?), talks to a homeless man sleeping on the Ben Franklin Parkway and chronicles the “painfully ordinary” people drinking pints at the Black Sheep bar.

But there's also:

I'm trying to locate

LOVE with no

conditions where

even an instant

winter has a

great fire

ready for us

An unapologetically queer poet activist with trademark dark nail polish, long witch-y hair and gentle blue eyes, 44-year-old Conrad radiates Buddha-like reverence and lust for life. He remembers getting mad at friends who committed suicide. “Our time is so short already,” he says.

Conrad says he only sleeps four hours a night, because he feels like it’s a waste of time; he might miss something new. He was recently asked who his audience is in an interview about The City Real & Imagined, he answered: “Everyone who desires to stay as awake as possible for as long as possible.”

Conrad, who has been surrounded by death his whole life, has made a living out of staying wide awake.

When Conrad first arrived in Philly, his boyfriend introduced him to a long-shuttered place called The Bacchanal, near Juniper and South streets.

“I spent all my time at the Bacchanal,” he says. “It was a magical place … It changed my life.”

The hole-in-the-wall gay bar was a hive for artists like poets Gil Ott and Lamont Steptoe. Conrad says he met philosophers, sculptors, novelists and musicians there; it was an alcohol-soaked baptism into Philly’s underground arts.

He threw himself into the local poetry scene. Philadelphia fixture Ketan Ben Caeser handed Conrad the reins to the North Star Bar Poetry Series, which he ran through the late ’80s into the early ’90s.

Getting published was a totally different animal back then. Before the Internet, you had to be in a scene to know about the “right” publications, and you had to know the publications to get into the scene. Being restless and out and about all the time, “I started to meet poets from all over the world. It was before the Internet so you had to rely on friends showing you zines like Zipperfucked, or Blank Gun Silencer, or South 666 Bitch. But you would send work and correspond. It was great.”

Throughout the ’90s, Conrad was co-publisher and co-editor of Insight To Riot Press along with Jim Cory and Janet Mason. “We had a lot of fun, and covers were stupendous because we were fortunate enough to have John Ignarri doing the art and design work for them,” says Conrad.

“There was a lot of drama back in the ’80s that just seemed so incredibly stupid. There was a lot of wonderful poets, but it’s a much better scene now. I think this is the best time that I’ve ever seen for poetry in Philadelphia,” he says, acknowledging the New Philadelphia Poets, the Chapter & Verse series run by Ryan Eckes at Chapterhouse Cafe in South Philly and, of course, sometimes collaborator Frank Sherlock.

“There is no other poet I can begin to imagine writing The City Real & Imagined with other than Frank Sherlock, who is one of the best living poets,” says Conrad.

Last month’s party to celebrate the publication of The City Real & Imagined at the Institute of Contemporary Art in West Philly had a huge turnout for a poetry event, which typically draws smaller crowds of familiar faces. But it seems more people are paying attention to poetry coming out of Philadelphia in general lately, and Conrad’s steady dedication is also finally paying off.

To wit, Seattle-based publisher Wave Books—which published Philly poet Dorothea Lasky’s Awe in 2007—is about to print an expanded edition Conrad’s dark opus The Book of Frank (Chax Press, 2009) that will include new poems and an introduction by acclaimed “rock star of modern poetry” Eileen Myles. Myles has written: “I’ve grown to love CA Conrad—the man, the work, and all he attempts and represents—because he always argues (from the inside of his poems) for a poetry of radical inclusivity while keeping a very queer shoulder to the wheel.”

“Meeting Eileen Myles in the early ’90s was the big thrill, and continues to be,” says Conrad. “She’s without a doubt the most generous elder poet I’ve ever met, hands down, and she changed my life, and continues to change my life.”

With four books published in the last four years, the radical’s work is bleeding into in the mainstream poetry world. He recently traveled to the West Coast to give readings and even has a poem getting published in The Nation soon.

“It’s taken a long time,” he says. “I’m 44 years old. Most people just give up before then.”

The whole reason he began writing in the first place was because, like so many writers, Conrad was ostracized, made to feel like a freak. As a kid, he spent most of his spare time sitting alone in a car at the mouth of the turnpike selling cut flowers for his mother, who couldn’t get a job because of her shoplifting record.

“It’s a terrible thing to do to a kid,” he says. “You’re all alone on the highway, nothing’s around, and you’re forced to be isolated.”

He’s talked about sleeping in front of his sister’s closet door with a rifle while she huddled inside as his drunk stepfather slurred, “C’mere, show me your pretty little pussy.”

To beat back the loneliness and steer his fate out of those country woods that he calls “fascist,” 8-year-old Conrad began keeping a journal. By the time he was a teenager, he was doing drugs with the Amish boys while they were on rumspringa.

Had he not run away to become a poet, Conrad muses that he would have likely wound up building coffins in the local casket factory like the rest of his family, assuming he survived being queer. But while acknowledging that the city saved him, Conrad shakes his head when recalling an earlier time when it wasn’t much friendlier to gays than his rural hometown was—especially in the 1980s.

“When I was a teenager, I had this drag-queen friend. He hung himself and we found him,” says Conrad. “The police were so horrible back then. They saw Eddie hanging in his wedding dress and they shouted, ‘We’ve got a fruit on a loop up here!’”

He’s seen a lot of sadness and death up close: suicides, murders, gay-bashing and the first wave of AIDS. “It was really hard when I moved here because everybody was dying in the neighborhoods,” says Conrad. Still, his poetry relies on him choosing to see the world fresh, to celebrate the good while calling bullshit on the rest.

Conrad’s first big break came with Deviant Propulsion (Soft Skull Press, 2006), an in-your-face collection of blunt prose. Soft Skull describes the book as: “CA Conrad’s poems vibrate with the flamboyant desire that manifests itself in queer culture, where the right to act on basic desires can become a battleground, and everyday acts of love and devotion must be enacted as a political form of defiance.”

His next two books were published last year. Advanced Elvis Course (Soft Skull Press, 2009) is a series of vignettes, dialogue blurbs, quotes and homemade magic squares that explore Conrad’s fascination with Elvis Presley as America’s thorny-crowned cultural king. Then came The Book of Frank , a collection of skinny, jagged semi-autobiographical stanzas that chronicle the surreal and tragic life of a kid named Frank.

(People sometimes assume The Book of Frank is about Frank Sherlock because they are so close, but it is not at all. “I always say I wouldn’t wish that on him,” says Conrad. “It’s kind of an evil book, such terrible things happen to him.”)

For example, Frank is the only child in his house that’s not a fetus in a jar. (“You are too big for a jar my child/ you will betray me the rest of your life,” clucks his mother.)

Clearly, Conrad’s work isn’t for the faint of heart. His words run unapologetically dark, examining broken desires of people reduced to husks by abuse; the ongoing tragedies of poverty and war; of being queer out loud in a world where there are still plenty of people who will hate you for it. Conrad says he certainly receives his fair share of hate mail. “It’s always funny because I get hate mail especially from straight people who are cruel and think they’ll hurt me … they just have no idea how much ridicule I’ve already survived,” he says with a shrug, graying hair loose and wild, pale blue eyes shining. “I’m like, you’re going to have to come up with something better than that.”

The most recent wave was after the publication of Advanced Elvis Course . “Soft Skull didn’t mention any of the queer content [in the press release], and it’s a pretty queer book,” explains Conrad. He spent months fending off an Internet mob of angry homophobic Elvis superfans. “People saw [the poems] and went insane,” remembers Conrad. “I’m a disgusting pig, I should kill myself … how dare you talk about Elvis this way.”

Tired of responding to each angry email, Conrad eventually thought of a response that would infuriate the mob even more: he wrote out his interpretation of the lyrics to “Jailhouse Rock” (“I mean there’s no female pronouns, it’s all male prisoners”) and posted them on a Web page. He started just sending the link in response. “It’s just my way of saying I don’t really care what you think,” he says, with a wave of his hand.

When he’d get into a weird spot promoting the book on Southern radio stations, where the audience probably had no idea about the queer content either, Conrad would diffuse the situation by reading poems in a thundering Southern Baptist preacher voice. “They love that,” he says.

“I like to talk about how Elvis is for everybody,” says Conrad. He dedicated the book to the “White Trash Coven of New Brunswick” and the “Magic Elvis Club of Kenya,” who he says blasts the songs of the dead king during tribal healing ceremonies.

Conrad remains a student at heart, always seeking to learn something new.

When exploring the city or recording his dreams each morning aren’t enough to boil his creative juices, Conrad develops exercises he calls (soma)tics, elaborate writing prompts designed to throw what we think we know of the world off-kilter. Conrad says they’re conceptual art projects.

“My impetus is to create. The thing is everybody’s so busy. Whenever I do workshops I always have someone who says, ‘Gosh my life is so busy,’ raising kids or whatever, and they’re like, ‘I needed this kind of thing’ because they’re in a routine … The worst thing that routine does is drive the creative magic out of us to some degree. And [(soma)tics] is sort of reclaiming it,” he says.

“It’s not like it’s gone forever, so the idea is to do something completely bizarre and different in the world that you know, and to really look at the world in a way that’s completely different.”

At one point, Conrad focused on one color for an entire week, strictly eating foods and wearing clothes of that color. Some exercises are wackier than others, but they’re all steeped in symbolism and are thoughtfully planned out.

As he develops the exercises—he’s been creating them for years—he posts them on his blog so friends and readers can try them out.

Of course, people think he’s crazy. Like the time he was stopped while checking out the trees planted in the Cherry Hill Mall parking lot. He was just plain intrigued, so he grabbed a magnifying glass and his ever-present notebook, took the bus and started examining the tree bark.

“I saw all these little bugs climbing around,” he says. “The maintenance guy comes roaring up in a truck and he’s like, ‘What are you doing out here? I was told to come see what you’re doing.’ So I told him. ‘That’s nuts,’ he said. ‘Get out of here!’

“I wasn’t bothering anybody. Twenty minutes later a security guard came up and said, ‘He thinks you’re smoking crack out here.’ I explained what I was doing. She said, ‘Well that’s weird,’ then she said: ‘We’re watching you.’”

Conrad says he doesn’t really care who’s watching, he just wants to keep looking for lessons. “Everything is an opportunity to create,” he says.

“I take notes on the experience and constantly edit to find the poem in it. You learn things you’re not expecting to learn,” he says. What can you possibly learn in the mall parking lot?

“Some people prefer trees dead, as baseball bats or violins. How an orchestra is an orchestra of the singing dead because it’s made of trees,” he says, thoughtfully before adding: “But it’s also a beautiful thing that there’s music coming out this dead tree.”

It was a beautiful day, but I mostly was on my couch, watching C-SPAN, and posting commentary on www.twitter.com/healthaccess. The Huffington Post condensed the full floor debate into ten minutes. Below is the video, and some of the quotes from the day, particularly from California Representatives.




* CA Rep Judy Chu talked about Eric, a young member of her staff... Getting chemo, he reached 24 and lost coverage under his parents' plan. He then was denied coverage based on pre-existing conditions. He only had coverage because of the job with the Congresswoman, but this plan would help him, and others like him.
* CA Rep Doris Matsui described her constituents Tim's + Elizabeth's problem with the health system: "If it's not working for them, it's not working for me."
* CA Rep Dennis Cardoza: "My wife has been a doctor for 30 yrs. She tells me every night of stories of patients who get sick, but denied coverage. My wife has to fight with insurers "to let her practice medicine the way she was trained at UC-Davis Med School." "My brother, who owns a small business, saw his premiums are going up 75%.""I am going to vote for this bill, and I am going to vote for it proudly.. "It is desperately needed, desperately long overdue."
* CA Rep Henry Waxman: Health reform "builds on what works today.. and it reforms what doesn't. It fundamentally reforms the practices of insurers."
* MI Rep John Dingell, after being introduced by Rep. Henry Waxman: "Today is a day that is going to rank with the day we passed the Civil Rights bill of 1964... and Social Security..."
* CA Rep Eshoo: I am priviledged to be part of a Congress that votes for this "life affirming" health reform, which will "perfect the union."
* CA Rep Mary Bono Mack's descriptions: "secret deals" "shell game" "does nothing"... She gave the impression she was opposed...
* CA Rep Lois Capps highlighted prevention: after this bill, "no more co-pays for preventative screenings."
* GA Rep John Lewis: "The American people need health care, and they need it now.. Answer the call of history, and pass health care."
* CA Rep Mike Thompson: "I've worked for quality, affordable health care for all for years, since my first campaign." "In my district, 63,000 uninsured residents will have access to coverage"
* CA Rep Devin Nunes: Health reform brings back "ghost of communism," and it "continues failed Soviet socialist experiment".. we should "say no to totalitarianism."
* Vice Chair & CA Rep Xavier Becerra: "Today is a day of history. Today we accomplish what 100 years of Congresses could not."
* MD Rep Van Hollen: "The day after this leg is signed by President Obama, Americans will see the world is not coming to an end."
* CA Rep Lynn Woolsey: "The whole nation needs health reform but no one needs it more than women..." "..being a woman is a pre-existing condition"

Speaker Nancy Pelosi arrived to a standing ovation, to give a speech that journalist Marc Ambinder called "the best speech I've seen her give." She started by stating that we are honoring the vow of our founding fathers, from the Declaration of Independence, for "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." This reform will provide healthier lives, and more liberty to pursue happiness. "This is an American proposal..." she emphasized. Citing the linkage with student aid legislation, she said that health reform and education were two issues that were ultimately about opportunity for the American people. "One word: opportunity."

Speaker Pelosi made the link to the economy. "Imagine an economy where people can change jobs or start a business without worrying that they would lose their health coverage." She continued, "The best action to reduce deficit, to improve economy, to create jobs.. ...is to pass health reform." She praised the health reform for emphasizing prevention, wellness, and innovation.. It "will create 4 million jobs.. will save $1.3 trillion from the deficit."

Speaker Pelosi references her predecessor who said "all politics is local," by stating that in fact, especially with health reform, "politics is personal." She recounts, "I saw a grown man cry" when he couldn't pay his medical bills...

She refers to over 350 groups support of health reform: AARP, AMA, Catholic Health Assn, United Methodist Church, Voices for American's Children, and many others. She also pointed out that the bill includes over 200 Republican amendments, and after over a year of debate, it's time to pass it.

Referencing the late Senator Kennedy, Pelosi calls health reform the "great unfinished business" of our society and says the reform will establish health care "is a right and not a privilege."

And after that, the vote tally went up. Like a New Year's Eve countdown, but utterly more rare and consequential, the bill slowly but surely had over 216 votes.

International World Water Day is held annually on 22 March as a means of focusing eco awareness on the importance of freshwater and advocating for the sustainable management of freshwater resources.  An international day to celebrate freshwater was recommended at the 1992 United Nations Conference on Environment and Development (UNCED). The United Nations General Assembly responded by designating 22 March 1993 as the first World Water Day.
 
As mentioned in our eco friendly training, each year, World Water Day highlights a specific aspect of freshwater.  The theme of World Water Day 2010 is addressing eco awareness of water quality under the theme "Clean Water for a Healthy World."  In honor of the day, there are multiple eco actions to take, but as an ongoing measure of a personal sustainability plan, we suggest raising eco awareness of water issues on a daily basis through personal conservation.
 
How can you conserve water? 

1. Wash Hands Efficiently: Turn off the water while you soap your hands, and rinse briefly.
2. Brush Teeth Wisely: Turn off the water while you brush your teeth and save 4 gallons a minute. That’s 200 gallons a week for a family of four.
3. Use Less Water for Dishes: Scrape your dishes clean to reduce rinsing. Run the dishwasher only when it’s full.
4. Take Hall Full Baths:  Try bathing in a tub that’s only half full to save water and the energy used to heat it.
5. Shorten Your Showers:  Shorter showers save both energy and water—keeping your shower under 5 minutes can save up to 1,000 gallons a month.
6. Stop Leaks:  turn off water faucets tightly so they don’t drip and repair leaks.
7. Wash Clothes Wisely: Make sure your clothes are truly dirty before putting them into the hamper. Wash clothes only when you have a full load, and use cold water whenever possible.
8. Water Wisely:  Water the lawn only every 3 to 5 days in the summer and avoid watering driveways, sidewalks, and gutters.

Maybe “meta” isnt’ the right word, but this weekly post where Peter King basically gets his ass handed to him every Monday takes on a bizarre twist whenever you people aren’t happy with the guest effort. Whenever Drew isn’t available for this post, his substitute is typically raked over the coals by the grumpier Kommenters who miss our jeerless leader’s gentle touch. So basically you end up ridiculing us ridiculing Peter King. And if I may address that group right now personally: all of you can get bent. Nobody cares if this post is the only reason that you still visit this site. Well, Drew does, but Drew isn’t here to save you now, is he?

/takes off belt
//makes loud slappy noises with it

Here we go. You coming or what?

The only drama here this week is whether Competition Committee co-chair Rich McKay of the Falcons can be political enough and diplomatic enough to convince 24 teams to change the 36-year-old, sudden-death overtime rule for the 2010 postseason. McKay has six members of his eight-man committee convinced that the time for reform has come, including longtime if-it-ain’t-broke-don’t-fix-it Indy GM Bill Polian. The committee is proposing to change sudden death to a modified sudden death — one that guarantees a two-possession overtime unless a touchdown is scored on the first possession.

So maybe this isn’t the old World League’s “You need six points to win in OT” rule, but what would happen if one team wins the toss, kicks a field goal, and the other team loses possession. Is that it?

Coaches don’t seem to want it. “…I think it’s just another thing we’ve got to worry about, with all the other decisions we have to make.”

Like managing the clock, for instance? I’M LOOKING AT YOU, ANDY REID! Wait…that’s a walrus.

I’m on record for not changing overtime. Each team already had sixty minutes to win the game. Let America’s currency succeed where they failed. Yeah, I know they don’t use actual money for the coin toss. Eat my ass.

The NFL Draft’s a month from today, and this weekend has proven one thing to me: Tim Tebow’s going higher than we thought he would.

ONE ABOVE-AVERAGE PRO DAY AND HIS SINS ARE NO MORE! PRAISE JESUS!

I thought it might be good enough to get him into the second round, but who wanted to spend a second-rounder in a very deep draft on a guy you might need to redshirt for two years?

Nobody. Tebow’s not a “conventional first day” pick. And I’m not just saying that because the first day of the draft this year is only one round. Am I the only one totally pissed off by that?

But something interesting has happened this weekend. Most agents are happy to tell you where their client will be visiting before the draft and which teams he’ll be working out for. A top player is usually happy to talk about a conversation he had with Bill Belichick or advice he got on how to throw the ball from Mike Holmgren. Not Tebow’s agent Jimmy Sexton over the weekend.

RETURN MY TEXTS, YOU SNIDE LITTLE SHIT!

What this tells me is that teams interested in Tebow don’t want the other teams interested in Tebow to know how interested they are.

Interesting!

I now think Tebow’s going in the 28 to 45 range, to a team willing to be patient with him at quarterback and maybe to allow him to help the team in other ways immediately.

Help how? Keeping the headsets warm? Doing odd chores around the house? “Timmy, your turn to wash the jocks! And when yer done with that, Coach Del Rio will be waitin’ for his supper.”

And he said he hasn’t decided whether to accept the NFL’s invitation to attend the draft in New York — though he sounded like he wouldn’t.

BUT WHO WILL BE AMERICA’S NEXT GREEN ROOM BITCH? WHO? WHOOOOO?

If I were an NFL team drafting high, I’d be very careful evaluating Eric Berry.

More careful than, say, a lauded college player from Gainesville that will be a career backup in the NFL?

Of the four top-10 safeties this decade, none has had franchise-player impact: Sean Taylor (Washington, fifth overall, 2004), Michael Huff (Oakland, seventh, 2006), Donte Whitner (Buffalo, eighth, 2006), LaRon Landry (Washington, sixth, 2007).

Three of those guys play on horrible teams. And the other guy IS DEAD!

I’m not saying Berry won’t be a great player.

Just using statistics to show you that he has a 25 percent chance of being gunned down in his own home! Didn’t we cover this last week?

Mike Pereira’s successor as the NFL vice president of officiating, Carl Johnson, is sometimes so overwhelmed by the subway in Manhattan that he just walks 20 minutes to work.

This is the kind of guy I want running the most significant crew of officials in American team sports!

Johnson hopes his former full-time job — he managed teams of people in the field for a soft-drink company in Louisiana — has prepared him for some of the heat he’ll feel from coaches angry at bad calls when they call to complain Monday mornings.

How are those two jobs remotely similar? “I’d be a great a conducting a symphony orchestra! I used to be a pastry chef!” What kind of shit-assed personality test made these jobs compatible?

Speaking of Pereira, he’s interested in coaching, believe it or not.

I don’t believe it! Is he qualified, according to the Peter King Job Search Rubric? Can he rebuild a transmission?

Part of the reason he left his job in New York was to be more of a caretaker for his ailing parents in central California.

Sounds like just the kind of guy that needs to be spending 80-plus hours gameplanning. “Off to play the Chiefs, mom! Try not to die until Monday!”

The Players Association is not happy with the TV Networks.

They just mean NBC, right?

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week

This is how you resolve a travel dispute that could have been one of the real ugly ones:

This could have been the Laguna Cliffs Marriott all over again!

Late Thursday afternoon, my wife and I got on the train in Boston headed for Providence, had dinner and went to watch the NCAA basketball game between our alma mater, Ohio University, and Georgetown.

A train leaves Chicago, heading east, one hour later…

We had bought tickets to return on the 10 p.m. Acela, which gave us time enough to watch the mighty Bobcats but not the second game of the doubleheader.

And then three people got off the train, and four people got on…

At 9:53, I noticed 15 or so well-dressed travelers come up the stairs from the platform, and thought, uh-oh, those are Acela-dressed people. Still no announcement, and none of the others in the waiting room seemed to notice, but I told my wife to hustle up, let’s get downstairs. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the Acela was already moving down the tracks. Gone.

Gone! No!

KHAAAAAAAAANNNN!

We had to get back to Boston; our dog Bailey hadn’t been out since a 7:30 p.m. walk, and we were sure she was just about sitting with her legs crossed by the front door waiting to be let out.

Really? Because I’m pretty sure that she’d be washing your couch with piss.

So we went upstairs to the apologetic Amtrak agent at the counter. He was befuddled by the leadfooted and impatient conductor of the train — though he did say the fine print of our tickets allowed that northbound Acelas were allowed to leave stations early. (Idiocy, if true, and double-idiocy if not announced in the station that the train was arriving early and would be leaving early.)

It’s in the fine print that you obviously should have read! You write stuff for a living!

He refunded our tickets, and we got into a cab for what turned out to be a $127 ride home, figuring we’d try to get it back from Amtrak the next day.

Really? You got your money back for the train ticket AND you want your cab fare paid? Do you want your dick sucked, too? Hey, might as well ask. It’s AmTrak. It’s not like they have any standards. Their trains leave early!

Next day, a female Amtrak agent (forgot her name) listened to my story, apologized four times, said she knew nothing of the rule the Providence agent spoke of, and said she could do one of two things: forward us to someone else who would take our application for payment of the cab fare, and maybe we’d get our money and maybe we wouldn’t, or give us a $100 Amtrak travel voucher on the spot.

Don’t take the voucher, Petey! That’s where they get you!

I took the voucher…

Pussy!

which wasn’t totally justice, considering we still got home a half-hour later than we would have,

I MISSED N.C.I.S.!

but under the circumstances a splendid way to short-circuit a dispute with a regular Amtrak rider (which she didn’t know I was.)

I write for a magazine, too! I got that job after three years of selling potato peelers on the boardwalk!

Ten Things I Think I Think

Oh, balls…

b. It stuns me that in these economic times, the NFL can still print money, getting $720 million from Verizon for the mobile TV rights for the next four years. That’s $22.5 million per team, on average, for a minor part of the media puzzle that no owner could have even imagined would generate a dime 15 years ago.

I would love to be standing next to Pete when flying cars finally come out. I’d bet I could actually hear the man shit his pants. “You mean I can drive while I fly? What a time to be alive!”

d. There’s a rule likely to be approved that would make it illegal for teams to line a rusher up directly over the long-snapper.

I’m pretty sure this is already illegal on field goal attempts.

e. There’s an unauthorized biography of Al Davis in the works by a reputable writer, and I hear Al’s not pleased about it.

f. Come to think of it, who would be pleased about an unauthorized biography?

Besides everyone? Oh, and the author, maybe? “I’m writing this Al Davis biography, but I’m none too pleased about it.”

2. I think the movement of the umpire from the defensive side of the ball (in the middle of the field) to the offensive backfield — as reported by Chris Mortensen Sunday afternoon here — is so that none of the umpires get more seriously injured than they already have been. “Do you know how many times umpires got knocked down last season,” outgoing officiating czar Mike Pereira asked Sunday. “Over 100. Our guys got two concussions, and there were three surgeries — all a result of hits on the umpires. Is there any other official in sports who’s put in the middle of the action the way an umpire is?”

Maybe this guy [roll it to the 0:38 mark]:

b. Looked like Robert Morris, losing to Villanova, got robbed to me. Wouldn’t the Big East be hiding its head in shame this morning if that Thursday afternoon game got called right?

You mean they’re not? Pete, did you even WATCH that Georgetown-Ohio game? Ohio finished 9th in the MAC this season. Ninth!

f. Coffeenerdness: Good Tweet from Marc Schaub, a teacher in Winston-Salem (@marcschaubjr) the other day: “Why do I have to tip the people at Starbucks, but not McDonald’s. They’re all working pretty hard.”

I have no argument here.

k. It took me a long time to love the three-point shot, but I’m a convert now.

“I used to hate whipped cream in my coffee, but I’m a convert now.”

“I used to hate straight-legged pants, but I’m a convert now.”

“I used to hate Punter doing the Peter King posts, but…no?”

[1]Image via Wikipedia Filmmaker Brian Singer's recent Superman Returns was something almost unheard of in this age of the reboot: it was an actual, no-foolin', old fashioned remake. The reverence Singer had for the original 1978 film is no secret. In fact, talking about that reverence was a big part of the marketing plan. But it was that reverence that ultimately doomed his movie. When adapting something to the screen, whether it be a book, a play, a cocktail napkin or another film, to make it truly great, as Stanley Kubrick well knew, is to pull off a precarious position: knowing the source material intimately (ooh la la) and, at the same time, ignoring it. You have to make it your own. And Singer's inability to (or decision not to) do this is one of the most obvious problems with his Superman. Even the casting, particularly of the blue man himself, was rooted in the past. The past, man, how boring can you get? He even resurrected Marlon Brando's Jor-El by digging up footage from the old film. Of all the major movie brands soon to get the reboot treatment, it's the man of steel that needs it the most. [2]Nolan and Goyer. Rather than keeping Singer around for another nostalgic installment, Hollywood has hired Mr. Reboot himself, the man who brought new life, and Academy kudos, to another caped crusader and crates of cash to Warner Brothers, Christopher Nolan. And Nolan has apparently brought Dark Knight scribe David Goyer on board the Superman reboot for some undoubtedly lucrative brainstorming sessions. I'd sit with Nolan at Starbucks for an hour hashing out "new ideas" for six figures. Hey Chris, give me a call... you and me, babe. Goyer's so yesterday. Undoubtedly Nolan and Goyer will accomplish the task they've been charged with: breathe "modern" new life into a stale property. Not that they'll listen to us, but I've got a few ideas, and I know you've got a few ideas, as to how the new Super dude should be different from the old Super dude. But brace yourselves, because some of them go against everything the original comic book stands for, and that all of you hold sacred. But you can't make a delicious new omelet without breaking a few eggs. If you want another helping of that crappy old, cold, soggy, stale, salmonella-caked omelet sitting on your window sill, be my guest. Just don't come crawling to me when the explosive diarrhea hits. First off, even if it's "actually" set in Metropolis, it's really set in New York. This is the first key to a successful reboot. The Batmen rode the wave of duality with this element, clinging to the "Gotham" name, but the reality of the city was 180 degrees from Tim Burton's Gothic chiaroscuro town; it was a dystopian vision more or less rooted in reality, an urban hell with one foot planted in 70's era unfettered crime and the other in post-9/11 paranoia. One of the annoying things about Singer's, and Donner's, super worlds was that, even thought everybody knew Metropolis stood for New York (the use of many a famous New York location sorta helped sell that), it was still one big step removed from reality. It's time to bring it down to earth. Next, put someone we actually know in the suit. I'm sorry, Brandon Routh, you sure is a handsome lookin' fella, but, uh, who are you again? Did we meet at a party or something? Were you in that Calvin Klein underwear ad? Did you date my seeeester? Wouldn't it be refreshing if this time out the man in the suit could actually, like, act? I mean, act-act. I don't mean look good in blue muscles. [3]Dano, Gordon-Levitt, Grace, Gosling, Wood, to name a few. One of the annoying things about all versions of Superman is the ridiculously striking resemblance between Clark Kent and Mr. S that all filmmakers thus far seem to believe we'll just take for granted. Maybe in the old days a little winky-wink in the general direction of the camera, and a just-plain-dumb Lois Lane kinda sorta worked for us. Not anymore, baby. We've moved on, we're past that silliness. Now we need a young man who can really act too, here's an idea, make us believethat Clark actually is different from Superpants. What a novel idea! And we don't want a dumb Lois anymore. So: Cast a good Lois, please. "But wait," you say, "that's how Lois is written!" To which I respond: have you read the comic books lately? Created in the 30's, this character has changed so much over the years that she's really more of a blank screen onto which people of each era project the image they desire, rather than an actual woman. I suppose, in some way, Margot Kidder's twitchy, incredibly grating damsel-in-distress expressed something about 1978. Disco's dead? I hope you didn't burn all your bras? I don't know. My thinking at the time was, this is the woman Superman flies around the world for? This chick who recites really bad erotic poetry when Supes gives her a ride? I didn't get it then and I don't get it now, frankly, and I didn't much get Kate Bosworth's take on the woman either. It's time for new blood. It's time for a strong, interesting chick who could save her own ass if it came down to it, thank you very much. [4]Image via Wikipedia And while you're at it, don't make Lex Luthor and his whole gang such campy losers. We don't do camp anymore, unless it involves Sasha Baron Cohen. And, while I admit that I have not read every Superman comic on the block, I don't believe this camp business originated with the source material. Was this Donner's idea? Was it Gene Hackman's and Ned Beatty's? Perhaps they were doing some improv early in the rehearsal process ("Don't make me do the scene from Deliverance again!") when they stumbled upon the silly satire of underworld goons. How cool would it be if the new Lex Luthor was actually a truly scary guy? I mean, look at him! This is one frightening mo-fo. I wouldn't want to stumble upon this tooth-clamping mountain-shouldered psycho in a darkened cul-de-sac. And I know karate. Granted, it's not Kali, it's not Jeet Kune Do, I'm not Bruce freaking Lee or Matt freaking Damon (nor, am I f****ing either of them). But still. Wouldn't wanna see how well it works. So yes. Make him scary. It's about time. I'm thinking Mickey Rourke, who is actually, in real life, without makeup, incredibly frightening. Just ask Evan Rachel Wood. Last but not least, write a good story. This is ultimately what it comes down to, and certainly what's been missing from previous films. I recently watched the 1978 version [5]. It was an eye-opening experience, for more than one reason. But mainly, it was surprising in its lack of a substantial narrative arc. The whole big fat Superman flying the world back in time thing? That was to save Lois, as previously pointed out. But why did Lois need saving? Yeah, that, well... you see... uh... yeah, there wasn't really any good reason for her to be anywhere nearthe San Andreas fault. We're on dangerous ground with this request though, because Goyer and Nolan have shown themselves a little unable to end their movies. The Dark Knight had, what, 4 endings? 5? I lost count, and suffered from movie-fatigue. Of course it could be argued that we're actually in good hands because the reason it took them 4 endings, you might say, is that they'd written such a big narrative. So much to resolve. And you might well be right. But an alternate take on that idea is that they simply couldn't pick one of their ideas so they used them all. Whatever the case may be, let's give the big S something serious to deal with this time out, something that matters, and something that can't be solved by flying planet earth back in time a few minutes. All right, fellas, get crackin'. Like a post-modern dynamic duo, you've got yourselves a franchise to save. [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Action1.JPG [2] http://trueslant.com/mikeharvkey/files/2010/03/nolan_goyer.jpg [3] http://trueslant.com/mikeharvkey/files/2010/03/actors.jpg [4] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Luthor_bright.png [5] http://trueslant.com/mikeharvkey/2009/06/16/10-things-i-learned-from-superman/

Wladimir Kitschko impressed nobody but his accountants in dispatching Eddie Chambers in Düsseldorf on Saturday

Until the final 15 seconds of his sham participation in what was supposed to be a challenge for Wladimir Klitschko's collection of world heavyweight titles, I was of the view boxing should make an example of Eddie Chambers and withhold his purse.

There have been too many of these passive efforts in world heavyweight title fights in recent years, a lot of them featuring the Klitschkos. No wonder the Americans won't watch them.

Well, there was one American with a very good view of the action in Düsseldorf on Saturday night and he completely wasted the journey. "Fast" Eddie, he calls himself. Minnesota Fats would have thrown more punches.

He was round, cumbersome, unambitious and spent most of the night with his gloves around his ears and retreating towards the ropes, where he ducked under Klitschko's long-range, safety-first head shots. His most memorable act of aggression was to lift the champion off the canvas on his shoulders in round one.

Once he'd been tagged in round two, saved from a knockout there and then only by Klitschko's in-built caution, he ran like a rabbit, poking out the odd limp right hand to the body and pathetically waving Wlad forward.

Lennox Lewis used to cop flak for boxing like Klitschko, but he was a virtual windmill compared to the crane from Kiev. Klitschko should have been back in the showers after 10 minutes but he couldn't finish Chambers off.

Actually he could have. He just couldn't be bothered. Wlad was happy to poke out that telegraph pole of a left jab and keep his own right hand up to look after his dodgy chin.

You could compare this fight to David Haye's hit-and-run effort to bamboozle Nikolai Valuev in Nuremberg last November, because of the disparity in size, reach and height – but the Londoner actually won the rounds against a freak of an opponent with a brilliant if eccentric strategy. Chambers's only plan was not to get hurt. At no point in the "fight" did he try to win a round or even a single exchange.

It was one of the easiest fights of Klitschko's 57-fight career and probably one of the worst, although there are plenty of candidates on that list. Even his adoring German public must have been bored by this.

I'm coming round to the view that Haye will knock Klitschko out if they ever meet. The Ukrainian never does anything different. Jab, right cross and occasionally a left hook – that's it. The rest of the time he stands off, waiting to counter, legs spread for power but not mobility. If a fast puncher – and Haye is probably the fastest in the division – goes over the top of Wlad's jab, which dips after he throws it, the Klitschko chin and his titles are there for the taking.

The more of these fights the authorities allow – and there were representatives of three ruling bodies there, the IBF, WBO and IBO, as well as the man from The Ring – the more damage they allow to be inflicted on the sport. As long as they get their flights and fancy hotels paid for, they couldn't care less.

The end when it came was merciful relief for those of us foolish enough to expect some action. With about 15 seconds left, Wlad impaled Eddie on the end of a cracking left hook to the temple and left him in a heap, hanging over the ropes and seriously out of it.

Fast Eddie took his licks, then. So, let him keep his money. But we should never be tempted to watch such a poor world title fight again.

Amateurs with attitude

You rarely see such lack of action in the amateurs, and the Great Britain team, by the sounds of it, were involved in plenty of that at the Commonwealth championship in India last week, bringing home a swag of medals.

So, as promised, here is Scott Cardle's blog on what was another encouraging tournament for the national team. Cardle not only picked up a gold medal, but he got a call from his idol Mike Tyson and met up with him when he got home to the UK. Not a bad way to celebrate.

Hats off to Ricky

Ricky Hatton is coming out of hiding – to play football with Robbie Williams.

The singer has persuaded Hatton, who trialled with Manchester City in his youth, to play in a Unicef charity match at Old Trafford on 6 June, alongside Alan Shearer and Jamie Redknapp as well as the usual celebrities who turn out for these games.

The previous two Unicef matches raised £4m.

Say it ain't so, Manny

A report from the Philippines suggests Manny Pacquiao's mother is prepared to get down on bended knee and beg him to quit boxing.

And Manny is said to be considering it. I'm not so sure. There are so many rumours about Pacquiao in the Filipino media you don't know which to believe. A story picked up around the world last year said the little hero had seen God and was on a mission to do his work.

For all his religious fervour and respect for his mum, I can't see Pacquiao walking away from a fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr.

A campaign to save traditional skills, often kept alive by just one exponent, is being launched today

On the corner of Hill Street and Randall Street in Sheffield, not far from the Bramall Lane ground of Sheffield United (known, for a reason, as the Blades) is a large brick building called the Portland Works. Built in the 1870s, it is one of very few workshops still used by the city's surviving Little Mesters – the highly skilled, self-employed craftsmen who formed the backbone of what was, back then, the cutlery and tool-making capital of the world.

Sometime in late 1913, a metallurgist called Harry Brearley showed up at this building, hoping to interest a cutler who worked there, RF Mosley, in a shiny, chromium-heavy steel alloy he had discovered that seemed almost completely resistant to corrosion. Mosley was indeed interested, and soon enough the first stainless steel cutlery ever made left the Portland Works.

Next month, Sheffield city council's planning committee will consider an application to turn Portland Works into 66 studio apartments and some office space. The structure itself is Grade II* listed, and the development looks sympathetic enough. But if it goes ahead, the small group of present-day Little Mesters who occupy the Portland's warren of workshops – a knifemaker, a tool forger, a silver plater, an engraver, a die maker – will be gone, probably for good.

"I'd estimate that more people in the world today eat with stainless steel knives and forks than speak English," says Robin Wood, chair of a newly formed lobby group, the Heritage Crafts Association, which is being launched today at the Victoria & Albert museum. "You could argue it's our biggest cultural export. So it seems quite extraordinary that we can protect the bricks and mortar of a place like this, but not care in the least about the skills and craftsmanship that are so much of this city's culture and identity."

Modern Britain, it seems, is not much fussed about the skills and knowledge that exist only in the minds, eyes and hands of people who make things – our living vernacular heritage. We like them, in a rose-tinted, nostalgic kind of way, but we don't do much to support them.

"And yet," says Wood, "they're every bit as much a part of our cultural heritage as grand museums, fine buildings and admired works of art or literature." They helped, too, make us who we are: how many people in this country bear the name Smith? Or Cooper, Turner, Cutler, Wright?

There are only a handful of Little Mesters left in Sheffield now. One is Trevor Ablett, 67, who has been making traditional folding pen and pocket knives – "ordinary working knives" he calls them, "nothing fancy" – since he was 15. Ablett works hard and fast and with tremendous skill, taking less than three hours to turn out an exquisite everyday tool: smooth, perfectly balanced, with a blade of sharpened carbon steel, bolsters of buffed brass, and a handle of polished rosewood or horn. It will sell for under £20. He's justifiably proud of his work and has no wish to retire – but when he does, there will be no one to take over.

The same goes for Mike Turnock, who as far as he knows (and he should, because he and his father have been doing it for more than 60 years now) is the last man in Britain still producing handmade wooden sieves and riddles. Fifty years ago, Turnock's Peak District workshop employed 10 men, and hundreds of firms turned out these smart, beechwood and wire-mesh hoops for mining, farming, fishing and the railways. Turnock Jr still makes 120 a week today, mainly for discerning gardeners who can't get enough of them. His best seller – an 18-inch riddle with a ½-inch, hand-woven mesh – takes him 25 minutes, and sells for about £20. But turning 65 this year, he is also having difficulty finding someone to succeed him.

Robin Wood himself works not far away, in a picturesque former stables outside the village of Edale, turning wooden cups, bowls and plates on a traditional pole lathe. Until the early 18th century, all but the wealthiest of us ate off wood, and every village in Britain had its turner (still the 26th most popular surname in England; Potter is down in 256th place). These days it's a popular hobby, but Wood believes he's the only person making a living by turning bowls and plates on a foot-powered lathe. He's a good bit younger than Ablett and Turnock, but he's not training anyone up to follow him either.

All over the country, practitioners of traditional trades risk being the last of their kind . . . a man who makes wooden oars and sculls in Windsor; a woman near Hailsham who fashions the chestnut and willow baskets known as Sussex trugs; a man who crafts astonishing split-cane fishing rods in Newbury; father-and-son wheelwrights in Devon; a master cooper in Devizes (one of four left in the country); a willow basket weaver on the Somerset Levels; a besom broom squire in High Wycombe. Yet, having interviewed many of them over the last year or so, (guardian.co.uk/money/series/disappearing-acts) I am struck by the huge public interest that still exists in these crafts. Witness, too, the unexpected popularity of TV series such as Victorian Farm, and Monty Don's current Mastercrafts. In today's increasingly virtual world, there's something very appealing about people who make things by hand, with tools and techniques often unchanged for centuries.

So why are these skills in danger? Not all are, of course: some rural crafts, such as hedge-laying, have rebounded, helped by environmental legislation and agri-environment grants. Others – gunsmithing, saddlery, boot- and watch-making – fall (providing they pitch themselves cleverly) into the luxury goods category, and find wealthy buyers. Traditional building trades such as stonemasonry, thatching, slating, stained-glass work and brick restoration benefit from built heritage funding. If not exactly flourishing, many now have recognised training schemes and the prospect of jobs with the National Trust or English Heritage.

The ones in trouble are the one-man bands – people making traditional products for which there is, demonstrably, a market (Ablett's appearance on the Guardian website brought him 350 orders), who can make a fair living for themselves but can't take on anyone else.

"The key obstacle," says Wood, "is transferring the skills. At present there's no incentive. Working craftsmen can't afford the time to teach apprentices, or the money to pay them; they wouldn't necessarily be able to sell what they make; and when they do become useful, maybe after two or three years, they'll set up in competition."

But behind that practical problem lies the broader, peculiarly British one. In 2003, Unesco – the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation – adopted a Convention for the Safeguarding of Intangible Cultural Heritage, including "traditional craftsmanship", which argued that any effort to safeguard traditional craftsmanship should focus not on preserving craft objects, but on "creating conditions that will encourage artisans to continue to produce crafts of all kinds, and to transmit their skills and knowledge to others". More than 100 countries signed up. Britain did not.

Elsewhere things are different. Japan's trade and industry ministry has, since 1974, had a whole department devoted to supporting 200 traditional crafts, and a Living National Treasure scheme guaranteeing recognised craftsmen the time and money to pass on their skills. France has a similar Master of Arts scheme, with more than 100 |exceptional heritage craftsmen promoted by the culture ministry and funded by the state to take on apprentices. Sweden invests heavily in preserving and promoting traditional crafts, and runs a National Folkcrafts School. Even some American states take heritage crafts seriously.

"In Britain," says Wood, "heritage crafts fall between the Crafts Council, which supports the artistic, innovative end of the crafts spectrum, and English Heritage, which only deals with buildings. We come under the Department of Culture, Media and Sport, but in reality we don't fit in anywhere. So there's no co-ordination, no promotion, no funding of anything at all. Almost every country in the world is doing more to support these crafts than we are – helping maintain them as real, thriving, evolving businesses, not just objects in a museum."

Newly minted, the Heritage Crafts Association aims to lobby government to ensure heritage crafts come under the remit of an expanded Engish Heritage. It is promoting a new-style apprenticeship scheme, in which would-be craftspeople – generally, these days, career-changers seeking job satisfaction – would get basic subsistence expenses and workshop space to practise their trade, and master craftsmen a salary to mentor them for maybe one day a week.

"My real vision," says Wood, "is of a country that understands how much a part of us these crafts are. Where schoolchildren in Nottingham learn how to make lace, and in Northampton, a shoe. Pots in Stoke, willow baskets in Taunton, cutlery in Sheffield, chairs in High Wycombe. In Sweden they do that. They know how these skills helped make us."

Then, perhaps, Trevor Ablett and Mike Turnock might not be the last of their line – and the Portland Works might stay filled with modern-day Little Mesters.

Section: iPhone / iPod touch / iPad, iPhone, iPod touch, iDevice Apps, Mac Software

Macintosh and iPhone/iPod/iPad product updates and announcements for March 22, 2010:

• Macintosh
• iPod

Macintosh

• .com Solutions Inc. has released FmPro Migrator Platinum Edition 5.57 with Database to Rev Conversion Feature. The Database to Rev Conversion Service generates a full-featured Rev database front-end application from FileMaker Pro and Microsoft Access database files. This feature instantly converts layouts, scripts, relationships, and value lists into a Rev database application for building Mac OSX, Windows, Linux desktop apps, web browser revLets or revMobile apps.
• TheMacBundles has launched its second innovative BYOB (Build Your Own Bundle) store. The new low-priced store lets users create a bundle with as few as 5 titles. An additional discount of 10% applies when a user chooses to also order a Weekly Special title. These no-gimmick bundles provide users with the same software, support, licenses, and upgrade benefits that apply to users who paid the full price for the software. TheMacBundles also offers a 30-day money back guarantee.
• Zevrix Solutions has announced Package Central 1.0, a new document packaging workflow automation solution for Adobe InDesign. Originally developed for a major publisher in the United States, the software automates InDesign packaging by processing files from hotfolders. Package Central offloads packaging to a central system leaving operator workstations free from the output process. Package Central offers font auto-activation, e-mail notifications, detailed processing logs and much more.

iPhone/iPod/iPad

• Just in time for the upcoming public release of the Apple iPad, ucator Magazine has announced the release of its brand new, online web magazine at PADucator.com. This exciting new Web-magazine is written specifically for those interested in using iPads and iPods in K-12 learning. Target readers range from District Superintendents to classroom Teachers to homeschooling Parent. Content is updated daily and ucator Magazine is completely ad supported, so the content is available free to all iPad users.
• Godzilab Games has announced a HD version of iBlast Moki on iPad. They are hoping to have the game ready for the iPad launch, only one week left before Apple’s deadline. The iPad version will feature entirely new graphics, a wider vision of each level to take advantage of the wide 9.7 inch screen, all new menus redesigned and optimized for a better player experience, and a new version of Plus+ designed for the iPad.
• Happymagenta has released Spyglass 2.2 for iPhone 3GS, a major update to their popular augmented reality compass. Spyglass is fun as well as useful augmented reality navigation tool that includes a milspec compass, tracker and finder for GPS locations, constant bearings, Sun, Moon and stars, inclinometer, sextant, rangefinder, angular calculator, camera (with 5x zoom), maps and more. Version 2.2 offers many new or enhanced features.
• Humble Daisy is selling SonicPics, the company’s iPhone and iPod touch app for 1/3 it’s regular price for one day only. SonicPics is a tool for creating and narrating custom photo slide shows on the iPhone or iPod touch. It makes it easy to use images from the iPhone’s photo library or built in camera. You can share your recording with your family and friends, or even the world. The sale price is available on Monday, March 22nd.
• Toolsfactory software has announced the release of rubiTrack 2.2, an update to its GPS enabled activity and exercise journal for the Mac. rubiTrack lets you display, analyze and organize your indoor and outdoor workouts for sports such as running, biking, walking, hiking, skiing and many more. rubiTrack reads tracks from GPS enabled devices like the Garmin Forerunner, Garmin Edge, Nike iPod, Suunto and Polar devices and the iPhone 3GS and 3G.
• 288 Vroom LLC today announces the release of A Book Of Five Rings 1.0 for iPhone and iPod touch devices. A Book Of Five Rings, the classic guide to strategy and self-empowerment by master samurai Miyamoto Musashi, is now available in a stunningly designed iPhone/iPod touch app. The app includes the full text and a gorgeous art gallery of Musashi’s work and other artists depicting Musashi’s extraordinary life.
• Tidal Pool Software has released ContactBook 1.0 for iPhone and iPod touch. ContactBook makes it easy to find, manage, and share your contacts. Scroll through your contacts in either table or CoverFlow mode viewing just the details you need. Phone, text, email, surf, and locate your contacts at the tap of a button. ContactBook features an optimized user interface with inline editing and completely replaces the default Contacts application.
• Morning Egg has announced Boxing Fighter 1.0, a fully customizable boxing game in the arcade style for iPhone and iPod touch devices. Morning Egg’s new release has a more classic horizontal playing field view. The app also boasts an interactive two player “vs” mode which allows you to play with any other app user on the same wireless network and one of the highest levels of player customization available in any fighting game on the iPhone.
• MaxNick has introduced Wild West Checkers 1.0.1, their new game for iPhone and iPod touch. The game exploits the advanced motion simulation made possible by the iPhone OS. On a standard checker board 8 white checkers on the first rank face 8 black pieces on the eighth rank. Touching any piece creates onscreen a user-controlled vector, an amount of force with a direction. Releasing the touchscreen launches that checker on a collision course, attempting to knock an opposing piece off the board.
• Independent developer Paul Gee has announced the release of WhoNews 1.2 for the iPhone and iPod touch devices. WhoNews collates the latest news on Doctor Who, Torchwood and the Sarah Jane Adventures from over 20 of the top Doctor Who websites every 15 minutes, 24 hours a day. This is coupled with a built in DVD & Blu ray price comparison tool that tracks down the lowest prices for Doctor Who related DVDs from the top internet retailers.
• The App Bakery has released Water Buddy 1.0 for iPhone and iPod touch devices. Water Buddy lets the user track their water usage comparing it against ongoing targets. It keeps a history of the water meter readings and provides an instant overview of usage and whether the user is keeping within the target. Whether the target has been set by local water companies or they just want to save money, Water Buddy will help them meet those targets.
• Zero Emission Games has announced the release of Short Order Cook, a fast-paced casual game from their Food for Thought collection that challenges players’ skills of recognition, concentration and trains their memory. In Short Order Cook, at the outset of each level a food image on a kitchen ticket and its matching tile are revealed for a short time. Once the tiles are flipped over, the challenge is to memorize the location of the matching pairs as quickly and as precise as possible. After all pairs of images have been revealed, the user needs to correctly select the matching tile for each kitchen ticket when it turns over.
• Happy Games Studio today has announced the release of Hexarot 1.004, an update to their exciting puzzle game for iPhone and iPod touch devices. In Hexarot, players have to put three or more triangles of the same color together by rotating hexagons with the finger. Hexarot features three different gaming modes, and OpenFeint enabled. High Scores include local and global high scores for the Magic and Time Wheel modes.
• Universal Electronic Accessories (Uniea) has launched a new line of versatile cases for the Apple iPad. The new cases offer a wide range of different construction materials, features, and colors that are designed to meet the needs of a wide range of iPad users, who will undoubtedly utilize their new iPad for work, leisure, and school.
• Rapidrabbit has announced Spray Can 2.2 for iPhone and iPod touch. With over 1,000,000 downloads, Spray Can is the most successful graffiti app within the App Store. Version 2.2 adds more user-requested features like different backgrounds and new painting options. The Spray Can can be used as a pranking tool by shaking the device up and down and pressing the spray button. The second function is painting graffitis and submitting them to facebook or twitter.

Full Story » | Written by Kirk Hiner for Appletell. | Comment on this Article »

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The B-word is seemingly off limits at Arsenal. Arsène Wenger was exasperated when his Friday conference became consumed by it and his worst fears were almost confirmed here at Emirates Stadium when his players looked distracted for sizeable spells and might have been made to pay by a more ruthless team than West Ham.

Cue Cesc Fábregas. If anyone was going to bring it up, it was surely he. And after scoring the late penalty which sealed these three points, the Arsenal captain jumped in and did it. "We are only thinking about Birmingham. Our first priority is Birmingham and that is the sign of champions, taking things game by game," he said.

Fábregas did get around to Barcelona, however, the club Arsenal will face in a mouthwatering Champions League quarter-final, and the one currently casting long shadows over the red half of north London. The Barcelona youth set-up was where it all started for him and two of his friends from those days, Lionel Messi and Gerard Piqué, are now fixtures in Pep Guardiola's team. Then there is Thierry Henry, the former Arsenal captain and another good friend.

"It is very exciting," said Fábregas. "We are going to play against the best team in Europe, probably in the world. But we always go with the same mentality and that is to win. If you want to win the competition, you have to beat everyone who is coming. If we had been drawn against Bordeaux or Lyon, we would have taken it the same way."

It is the Premier League trip to St Andrew's on Saturday, however, which comes first and that is quickening the pulse of Fábregas and his team-mates. It was there two seasons ago that Arsenal's title challenge started to unravel amid the catastrophic injury to Eduardo, but this time Wenger and his players sense a happier ending.

Only seven league games are left. If Arsenal can win them all, as they have their previous six and as they believe they can, then they would only need the merest of slips from Manchester United and Chelsea.

Wenger will be without both of his first-choice central defenders against Birmingham. Thomas Vermaelen is suspended, having been harshly dismissed for what was adjudged a professional foul on the West Ham striker Guillermo Franco – Manuel Almunia made a crucial save from the resultant 45th-minute Alessandro Diamanti penalty – and William Gallas remains a serious injury concern.

But given the seamless fashion in which Alex Song dropped back from midfield to deputise for Vermaelen, Wenger will not worry. He described Song as perhaps the most improved player in the Premier League. "When we lost at home to Chelsea and Man United, and I must say it was in a convincing way, everybody got a little bit carried away and you have to go a bit overboard," he said.

"Nobody takes you seriously after that. But I believe we can go and win the next games. To have a chance, we absolutely have to win all of our games."

Wenger paraphrased Rhett Butler when he was asked whether it would bother him, in the event of Arsenal winning the title, that they had failed to take a point from United or Chelsea. "Frankly, no," he said, as he pointed out that United had won last season's championship with a haul of only five points from their encounters with the other three Champions League qualifiers. "Yes, there is a point of view there but I tell you, I would still take the title."

West Ham were left to lament not only Diamanti's penalty miss but the way that, against 10 men, they went close to equalising Denílson's low drive only once, when the substitute Carlton Cole hit a post on 78 minutes.

Arsenal knew that they had been in a game and West Ham moved the ball pleasingly at times but, in the crucial six-pointer at home to Wolverhampton Wanderers tomorrow – a point and a place above them in 16th position – Gianfranco Zola's side need to be much sharper in front of goal.

"In these moments, you have to keep your composure," said Zola, a comment directed at everyone at the club, from the new owners down. "You have to do the right things and not get emotional because you don't improve the situation."

Long Story Short:  The Blazers mess around with the Suns for three quarters like we were Tiger Woods and they were a Denny's hostess but the Suns turn it on in the fourth, burning Portland for their game-long indiscretions.  Andre Miller has a spectacular first half while Brandon Roy posts a horrible offensive effort.  The two invert as the game progresses with Roy scoring late and Miller playing ineffectively.

The Game

Once again tonight both the Blazers and their opponents play a scrappy game for...wait.  Did I say "scrappy"?  What's that "s" doing in there?  My bad.  Far from being the barn-burner, playoff-ready contest I anticipated in the preview, this game turned out to be a junk-fest for the better part of three quarters for both teams.  I'd love to say it was a titanic defensive struggle but in actuality both teams followed a similar offensive formula:

Option 1:  Four passes to a contested jumper.

Option 2:  Twelve dribbles to a contested leaner.

The futility was broken only by the occasional fast break bucket or offensive rebound put-back.  But this wasn't the worst thing in the world for the Blazers, as Portland Ugly beats Phoenix Ugly.  In fact you might say that Ugly is the Blazers' secret weapon this year.  I was pleasantly surprised that the Blazers were able to keep the game a contest of rebounds, bumps, and stunted halfcourt offense.  Every time the ESPN cameras caught Phoenix coach Alvin Gentry in the huddle he was begging his team not to do this, not to play Portland's game, not to fall into the slower tempo.  Yet there Phoenix was, walking the ball up the court, prosecuting Options 1 and 2 above as if they were imitating Portland instead of trying to beat them.

The Blazers were aided and abetted in their strategy by the fine play of Andre Miller early.  Miller went right at Steve Nash and quickly got him in foul trouble.  Once Nash went out of the game Portland's strategy became simple:  deny Amare Stoudemire whenever possible and double-team him whenever necessary.  After an early flurry Stoudemire wasn't a factor for most of the game.  Without Nash and with Amare muzzled the Suns had real trouble producing points.  Marcus Camby also deserves mention for his 10 rebounds in the first quarter.  As the game had turned into a battle of the boards, Camby was pretty much a Sherman Tank out there.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, especially the significance of two fouls.  When Nash returned later in the half he looked to personally take it out on Miller, driving past him at will.  The Blazers, meanwhile, showed bad spacing when they were on the run and poor recognition in the halfcourt.  More often than not they ended up with 1-on-1 moves for jump shots.  The only respite came when Miller had the ball, as he drove back at Nash and looped a few alley-oop and fast break passes as well.  That aside, Portland's rebounding energy began to dip.  The offensive rebounds disappeared.  The defensive rebounds were heavily contested.  Phoenix was fighting back.  Portland had scored 26 to Phoenix's 21 in the first quarter.  The score was exactly inverted in the second, 26-21 Phoenix.  The game was tied at the half.

The third period promised a momentum shift, as both teams by that point had to realize this important game was up for grabs.  But like two marathon runners cautious about making a move too early, both kept plodding along.  The Suns' offense was worse than ever.  The only thing saving them from an abysmal period was a few offensive rebounds.  It got so bad for them that at one point they had an uncontested 8-second violation.  (In normal times Phoenix is famous for having a shot up by the 16-second mark.)  The Blazers just kept clamping down on Amare.  Nash and his teammates couldn't compensate.  The pick and roll was nowhere to be found.  It was like Phoenix was playing with one hand tied behind their back. This was the time for Portland to strike.  But for the most part "strike" meant the same jumper-laden, poorly-spaced offense they had run all night.  Brandon Roy in particular was suffering horribly, missing everything he threw up.  Without Roy hitting the heart of the Blazer offense, and all of the pressure on Phoenix, was gone.  Phoenix scored 17 in the quarter but the Blazers managed only 21.  Portland up 4 heading home.

The fourth period began with the Suns saying, "Enough of this s-less scrappy offense."  They detected Portland's Juwan Howard, a second-unit substitution, on Amare Stoudemire.  Connecting the dots from A to B (which was about as complex as they had to go) they gave Amare the ball and let him work.  Stoudemire burned Howard twice and Portland's help defense came way late.  On a third play the help defense just fouled Stoudemire outright.  After that flurry of points from the big guy the second unit experiment was over.  At the same time, however, Brandon Roy started taking over and actually hit a couple shots.  For all of the Amare-inspired danger the game was still tied.

But that's where the party ended.

The Phoenix Suns made a strategic move in the fourth, throwing on a zone defense.  Portland responded by treating the zone like it was the Riddle of the Sphinx tied up in the Gordian Knot and stuffed into a Rubik's Cube.  The key to beating the zone is to get the ball in the middle of the floor, much as when attacking an opposing pair in doubles tennis.  You put the ball down the center, forcing them to decide how to manage.  Every time the Blazers did this they got an easy shot and/or a foul.  Unfortunately "every time" turned out to be thrice in the quarter.  Other than that it was a process of getting stuck on the sidelines, forced into long jumpers with hands in faces, having never probed the center portion of the court in any significant way.  The only thing that bailed the Blazers out was a couple offensive rebounds early.  After that scoring was like pulling teeth.  Brandon Roy's offense, while improved in the period, was a mixed blessing as he took time setting up his shot.  He was the main guy getting inside for easy buckets when they happened but he was also taking a fair amount of those jumpers and/or bleeding the clock until they became necessary for someone else.

Meanwhile Phoenix, forcing misses and still acquitting themselves well on the boards, found their run and gun game.  It started with Jared Dudley scoring 8 quick points off of a couple threes and a layup.  Then Grant Hill got a couple instant shots unopposed.  All of a sudden the Blazers were down 8, still unable to score.  The Suns wouldn't make another field goal in the game after Hill's second shot, but they hit 7 of 8 free throws down the stretch.  Adding insult to injury, the Blazers missed 5 free throws in the final period.

The Blazers were still within 5 with 40 seconds left but Phoenix had the ball.  Portland threw on the press and forced another 8-second violation.  The ensuing offensive set was as desultory as they all had been but Roy made it look good with a desperation, bail-out three-pointer, cutting the deficit to 2.  The Blazers fouled Nash with 19 seconds left and he hit both, sending the Suns back up 4.  After another eye-gouging, weak-pick-setting, running-around-the-perimeter set (out of a timeout, no less) Andre Miller finally heaved a three-point jumper of his own which missed solidly.  The game was over already when Grant Hill hit the obligatory final free throws, pushing the margin to 6, 93-87 Suns.

A look at the boxscore seems to indicate that the Blazers did a number of things right tonight.  Portland shot 36.4% but Phoenix managed only 38.8% which has to be considered a significant advantage towards the Blazers.  Portland put up 8 more shots than the Suns.  Offensive rebounds were 14-10, Portland.  Assists were 16-14, Portland.  The Blazers committed only 4 turnovers.  Portland actually beat Phoenix in fast break points 11-8 and points in the paint 42-36.  All of that is screaming out a Blazers victory.  However the Suns shot 24-26 from the foul line (92.3%) while Portland managed only a respectable 21-29 (72.4%).  Credit Phoenix there and Portland for tightening up at the line down the stretch.  Phoenix shot 7-23 from the three-point arc, an anemic (for them) 30.4%.  That would seem to seal their fate.  Except the Blazers shot 2-17...11.8%.  Portland had open threes throughout the game too.  They just missed.  Not learning their lesson, they kept at it when the threes were covered late.  And there you have it.  Neither team played like a playoff contender.  Neither team looked good.  But Portland played around too much and left the door open and the Suns had a couple matchups, a couple good moments, and enough experience to capitalize on both.

Individual Notes

Brandon Roy scored 23 tonight to lead all scorers but don't bother believing in that much.  This was a wretched offensive effort from him, saved by a fourth-quarter spurt.  He went 8-25 for the game, hit 1-5 threes...about the only thing up to par was his 8 free throw attempts, of which he hit 6.  He had 8 rebounds as well.  But really this was among the worst games I've seen him play in a while.

LaMarcus Aldridge had a couple moments on the boards but he shot 6-15 himself for 16 points and 8 rebounds.  He helped curtail Amare's run in the fourth and had a decent defensive game, at least to the point he was stretched.

Andre Miller had an amazing first half and even played well through part of the third quarter.  It was like he became Brandon Roy tonight, punishing the Suns on the drive and with the pass both.  He keyed the Portland fast break, momentarily making it look better than Phoenix's.  Even though Nash was striking back at him Miller had the upper hand in that battle early, which should have been enough to swing the tide for Portland.  Unfortunately both his game and the Blazers' fell apart late and in the fourth quarter--whether he was tired, thrown off by Brandon taking over, or just lost the mojo--Miller was almost painful to watch.  He went 8-9 from the foul line and had 22 points and 9 assists, which was fantastic.  He went 7-20 from the floor, which was OK.   He went 0-6 from three point range, which is enough to make you scream, "Why are you taking six three-pointers?!?"

Marcus Camby played a healthy 35 minutes and had that dominating first quarter with 10 rebounds.  He calmed down after that though, ending up with 16 total.  He had 5 blocked shots and did a nice job on Amare when he had him.

Nicolas Batum played 32 minutes but looked a step slow on defense all night, much as he did against Golden State earlier.  He garnered 6 personal fouls and went 1-6 from the three-point arc with 8 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals.  He sure is purdy when he finishes on the break though.

Juwan Howard got 20 minutes and went 4-6 from the field for 8 points and 4 rebounds.  He was one of the few Blazers who looked normal out there instead of clenched.  However "normal" for Juwan isn't enough to cover defensive responsibilities against Amare Stoudemire one-on-one and he didn't get much help tonight.

You can pretty much see that the confidence level for Martell Webster and Jerryd Bayless is as low as that Tiger Woods joke I started the recap with.  Jerryd played defense with blinders on, missed jumpers, and just couldn't get anything going.  He went 0-5 in 12 minutes for 1 point with 2 personal fouls.  Martell just doesn't look like he knows what anyone expects him to do out there.  He's drifting everywhere.  Maybe it's the reduction in minutes since Batum came back.  Maybe it's another hot start to the seasons that peters out at the end.  Maybe this is just Martell.  0-2, 0 points, a rebound, a block, and a foul in 18 minutes.

My bad above.  Dante Cunningham also looked normal for his 4 minutes with a rebound, a block, and a very nice conversion at the hoop for 2 points.  His confidence hasn't gone anywhere.  His posture and energy are perfect, 4 minutes or 24.

So...the Blazers have a few more days off to think about this game and their next one.  They'll probably not catch the Suns at this point, though Portland still owns the tiebreaker.  The Spurs lost tonight as well, leaving Portland 2 games behind them in the loss column, also owning the tiebreaker.  The Thunder lost to the Pacers, of all teams.  Considering the schedule they have left if they're going to lose to Indiana maybe the Blazers can catch them.  On the disastrous end of the scale Houston won, leaving them 3 games behind Portland in the loss column.

Boxscore

Hear the chortles, or at least sighs of relief, at http://www.brightsideofthesun.com

See your Jersey Contest scores here and enter Thursday's game here.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

With the tagline "Does for rock and roll what The Sound of Music did for hills," we wonder if you can possibly refuse this week´s SubCinema screening. The film in question is This Is Spın̈al Tap, a mockumentary about the fictional heavy metal band Spın̈al Tap. That is, a fake documentary about a fake band - that became real in the process. Well, kind of real anyway.

It all started back in 1979, when Spın̈al Tap first appeared on a failed 1979 ABC TV sketch comedy pilot called "The T.V. Show", starring Rob Reiner, later the director of This Is Spın̈al Tap. The ABC sketch was a mock promotional video for the song "Rock and Roll Nightmare", written by Reiner and the band. The members were portrayed by Michael McKean (as David St. Hubbins), Christopher Guest (as Nigel Tufnel) and Harry Shearer (as Derek Smalls).

And so five years later, in 1984, the band became the subject of the film This Is Spın̈al Tap. A soundtrack album with the same name was released and ever since this the band has toured and released music under the name of Spın̈al Tap. Throughout the years the much devoted fan base have collected details about the band based on their fictional performances, films, albums etc.

There is even a fake history written about the band, including a list of the band's former members. This includes a succession of drummers, all said to have died in strange circumstances: one in a "bizarre gardening accident," another "choked on someone else's vomit," and two from "spontaneous human combustion" onstage. It has also been claimed that police described one of the deaths as "a mystery better left unsolved".

The trio of actors portraying Spın̈al Tap have occured in many other shapes and alter egos. One example was in 2003 when they reunited as the 1960´s American folk music revival band The Folksmen in the mockumentary A Mighty Wind. In June last year Spinal Tap performed at Wembley Arena with The Folksmen as support, or should we say as the opening act - anything else is impossible. Another fun fact you might not be aware of is that the man behind the voice of Ned Flanders, the next door neighbor to the Simpson Family, is the Spın̈al Tap member Harry Shearer.

The band has reunited several times, in 1992, in 2001, in 2007... at a concert aimed to fight global warming. "They're not that environmentally conscious, but they've heard of global warming" as Marty DeBergi, one of the fictional characters in This Is Spın̈al Tap (played by director Rob Reiner), put it. "Nigel thought it was just because he was wearing too much clothing - that if he just took his jacket off it would be cooler." In connection to this environmentalist reunion the band also released the new song "Warmer Than Hell".

One of the latest releases from the band was in August last year when they released a seven minute short film titled Stonehenge: ‘Tis a Magical Place celebrating their 25th anniversary. The film depicts the members of Spın̈al Tap as they make a pilgrimage to Stonehenge for the first time.

Well, the hilarious stories about Spın̈al Tap could go on forever, and for anyone interested there are loads of info and trivia about them and their film(s) laying around on the internet. One good portal to start from is this fan page or the so called official website. If you wanna become really well-read on the topic, you can read film scholar Ethan de Seife´s cultography about the film. We've done some research on the author and yes, he actually seems to exist. Enjoy!

Check out what other movies are showing in Shanghai this coming week. Links lead to info about times and venues.

MOVIE EVENTS

• 2010 Mexican Bicentennial Film Festival: Organized by the Consulate General of Mexico and Spain in Shanghai, this month-long festival will give viewers the rare chance to watch the best Mexican films ever. Over the four weekends, you´ll see movies made from the 40s to the 70s directed by Luis Buñuel and some of the country´s other great filmmakers. Go to our website to see a detailed screening schedule. RSVP required. In Spanish with English subtitles. Free. 7pm (Fri.), 5pm (Sat.)
• Secret Cinema at Vienna Café: Thursday 25 February will be Vienna Café´s Secret Cinema night. What film it is going to be won´t be announced until you sit down and the lights are out. Curious what film it's going to be? Sorry, Vienna Café can't tell you yet. English subtitles. Time: 19:30.

ENGLISH LANGUAGE MOVIES

• Gamer (天地逃生): Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his independence while taking down the game's mastermind.
• Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (波西·杰克逊与神火之盗): It's the 21st century, but the gods of Mount Olympus and assorted monsters have walked out of the pages of high school student Percy Jackson's Greek mythology texts and into his life. And they're not happy: Zeus' lightning bolt has been stolen, and Percy is the prime suspect. Even more troubling is the sudden disappearance of Percy's mother. As Percy finds himself caught between angry and battling gods, he and his friends embark on a cross-country adventure to catch the true lightning thief, save Percy's mom, and unravel a mystery more powerful than the gods themselves. The movie is produced by Chris Columbus,who has formerly directed and/or produced "Home Alone", "Mrs. Doubtfire", "Gremlins" and the Harry Potter movies.
• Sherlock Holmes (大侦探福尔摩斯): Sherlock Holmes, the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who first appeared in publication in 1887 has made it to movie theatres in many different versions. This time under the direction of Guy Ritchie and starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Detective Sherlock Holmes and his stalwart partner Watson engage in a battle of wits and brawn with a nemesis whose plot is a threat to all of England.
• Avatar: (阿凡达): James Cameron is back with this super expensive sci-fi thriller in 3D. Follow ex-marine Jack (Sam Worthington) as he explores planet Pandora as an avatar; a human mind in an alien body. On this paradise-like planet, he faces hostilities from exotic life forms and falls in love with a female alien. This movie used ground-breaking techniques and is being shown in 3-D. In English or Chinese depending on the cinema.

CHINESE LANGUAGE MOVIES

• Martial Spirit (武动青春): In "Martial Spirit", three young chase their dreams with martial-art. The film stars Ao Quan, Theresa Fu, Da Zhang Wei and A Wei, although a lot of Ao Quan´s acting gets neglected since, according to some disappointed netizens, his voice has been dubbed.
• Storm Rider - Clash of the Evils (風雲決): This animated feature film directed by Dante Lam is based on the Wuxia Chinese comic series Fung Wan by Ma Wing Shing. The film is a spinoff of the original story and the two protagonists Wind and Cloud. The residents of Sword-Worshipping Manor, which houses the best sword-smiths in the world, are brutally massacred after they are alleged to be plotting a rebellion against the government. The young master of the manor, Ngou Kuet, is the only survivor. Ngou Kuet vows to finish forging the "Kuet" Sword, a task passed down by generations of his family which has yet to be completed. Ngou Kuet attacks Tin Ha Wui and battles with Wind and Cloud to obtain the blood of the Fire Kirin which can unleash the power of the sword. As the blood of the Fire Kirin runs in Wind's veins, he becomes Ngou Kuet's primary target.
• 72 Tenants of Prosperity (七十二家租客): A "throw-in-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink-oh-what-the-heck-throw-that-in-too comedy". The story is a love triangle - two men in love with the same girl. One wins, the other loses, and they become enemies. But something larger happens that forces the men to form an uneasy alliance, along with their 70 fellow shopkeepers on the street: An evil landlord is set to raise the rent on the 72 tenants, threatening their economic survival.The film is a Lunar New Year's comedy, a movie genre that is often unabashedly silly with a childlike playfulness, with the simple mission to instill 90 minutes of happiness. "72 Tenants of Prosperity" certainly aims for that, but producer-director-star Eric Tsang has something more on his mind. His inspiration is the 1973 classic "The House of 72 Tenants," a film that broke Hong Kong box-office records set by Bruce Lee and became something of a cultural phenomenon. Tsang opens his film with the same style of credits, the same opening gag, and a spot-on re-creation of 1970s Hong Kong filming style.
• Little Big Soldier (大兵小将): Little Big Soldier is a 2010 Chinese action-adventure/comedy film directed by Ding Sheng and produced and written by Jackie Chan, also starring Chan and Leehom Wang. An old soldier kidnaps a young general of an enemy state and takes him on a long journey to collect the reward.
• True Legend (苏乞儿): Set at the turn of 19th and 20th century, the story of begins with Su Can, a wealthy man who loses all his fortune and reputation as a result of a conspiracy against him. After being forced out onto the streets, he dedicates his life to martial arts and reemerges as a patriotic hero as he challenges foreign fighters at a boxing ring. The story is loosely based on the life of Su Can, nicknamed Su Qi Er (Su the Bagger), who developed his own fighting style, known as "drunken fist". This is Yuen Wo-Ping's first directorial work since 1996 and may also give a major boost to the career of 37 year old China's born martial-art star Zhao Wenzhuo.
• Hot Summer Days ( 全城热恋): "Hot Summer Days" unites a galaxy of stars in China's show business, including Jacky Cheung, Rene Liu, Nocholas Tse, Barbie Hsu, Daniel Wu and Vivian Hsu. The film consists of six intertwining love stories, all set in a stifling and sultry summer. As Valentine's Day this year falls on the first day of Chinese lunar new year, the release date for "Hot Summer Days", February 11th, was chosen to coincide with the big occasion, aiming for a lion's share of the movie market.
• Fortune King is Coming To Town (财神到): This Chinese New Year celebration comedy tells a story that is very similar to "Santa Clause is coming to Town". Fortune King is a Chinese god who comes down from heaven to the earth to give money to people, similar to what Santa does for children. In this flick The God of Fortune is rushing to Earth, and a congregation of people must first finish a hilarious joke of a financial task before he comes. Lead Actor Tan Yonglin says the Fortune King only help people who watch out. "Our film is more than fun. If you don´t work hard, Fortune King will know and refuse to help you. The movie also tells us to open our heart and love others."
• 14 Blades (锦衣卫): Daniel Lee´s martial arts epic stars certified Kung Fu badass Donnie Yen in the role of Qinglong, or Green Dragon. He is the best of the so called Jinyiwei, an imperial elite force of assassins recruited from street orphans. Jinyiwei were masters of the 14 Blades, eight being for torture, five for killing, and the last blade being reserved for suicide when a mission failed. When the emperor is kidnapped and the court taken over, Qinglong takes on the mission of restoring the emperor to power. Also starring Vicki Zhao and Chun Wu.
• McDull Kung Fu (麦兜响当当): In animated feature "McDull Kung Fu Kindergarten," Hong Kong's most iconic cartoon porker goes to learn martial arts at Wudang, birthplace of Taichi, to prove that pigs can fly-kick at a national championship.
• Royal Tattoo (Huang Jia Ci Qing, 皇家刺青): The film is a costume kung fu comedy with a mix of a Chinese version of Prison Break. It´s a humorous reinterpretation of a classic plot about a Qing Dynasty royal secret treasure and tattoo treasure map.
• Jing Tian Dong Di (惊天动地): Local directors Wang Jia and Shen Dong´s latest disaster flick was shot in the earthquake-stricken areas of Sichuan, "Jing Tian Dong Di" recalls the quake by following one of the PLA´s rescue troupes in this fictional retelling. The cast of well-known actors includes Li Youbin, You Yong and Hou Yong. Mandarin only.
• Sophie's Revenge (非常完美): This Rom-com, directed by ambitious U.S.-educated director Jin Yimeng, marks Zhang Ziyi's debut as a producer. The movie follows Sophie (Zhang Ziyi) and Jeff (Jisub So) as an engaged couple that rides an emotional roller coaster right before the wedding. Mandarin only.
• Empire of Silver (白银帝国): This Shanghai International Film Festival winner features Aaron Kwok, Hao Lei and Zhang Tieling. Directed by Christina Yao, the film is set in the late Qing Dynasty and follows a carefree young man who is the reluctant heir to his father’s banking empire. Mandarin only.

OTHER LANGUAGE MOVIES

• Yuet Gwong Bo Hup / Just Another Pandora's Box (越光宝盒): Hong Kong director Jeffrey Lau, the director of last years "Metallic Attraction: Kungfu Cyborg" is already out with another comedy. With "Just Another Pandora's Box" he´s trying to make fun of many classic movies, including one of his own, "Chinese Odyssey". The story revolves around a bandit and an immortal girl who is in love with him, as they travel back to the Three Kingdom Period, on the eve of the Battle of Red Cliff...Or as another plot summary tells it: an idiot embarks on an adventurous journey with the help of a magic box during the period of the Three Kingdoms in ancient China.
• Kandidaten / The Candidate (迷魂陷阱): In this Danish thriller directed by Kasper Barfoed we meet Jonas Bechmann, a defense attorney who is a man of the system, until the day he himself is accused of murder. Taking matters into his own hands, he throws himself into the hunt for a group of blackmailers who threaten to expose him as the killer. But nothing is what it appears to be, and the blackmail links back to his father's death under mysterious circumstances a year and a half earlier. In
• K-20 (变相黑侠): Set in a fictional Japanese city in 1949, a master criminal hones in on his latest victim. Screen idol Takeshi Kaneshiro is back and this time hes showing his respect for Lupin, Raffles and all the great thieves and masked penny dreadful heroes of the turn-of-the-century in this massive steampunk blow-out directed by Shimako Sato, one of the few female directors in the big budget end of the Japanese film industry.
• We Are From the Future / Back in Time (古墓迷途): This russian flick from 2008 takes place in sunny, groovy present day St.Petersburg and during the fierce defence of the city in 1942. Four friends, a student, a skinhead, a geeky gamer and a rapper make their cash looking for Nazi relics from WWII. Motivated by greed they are hip, cynical and have no respect for the past. During a dig they stumble upon a bombed out bunker full of valuable treasures but also something strange. Among the documents belonging to a Red Army officer they find a photograph of themselves. Trying to come to their senses they dive into a nearby lake and surface… to a spray of gunfire in 1942.
• La habitación de Fermat / Fermat´s Room (极限空间): Fermat's Room is a 2007 Spanish thriller film directed by Luis Piedrahita and Rodrigo Sopeña. Three mathematicians and one inventor are invited to a house under the premise of solving a great enigma, and told to use pseudonyms based on famous historical mathematicians. At the house, they are trapped in a room. They must solve puzzles given by the host, who calls himself "Fermat," in order to escape the slowly closing walls of the room.Four mathematicians who do not know each other are invited by a mysterious host on the pretext of resolving a great enigma...
• 7th Grade Civil Servant / My Girlfriend is an Agent (特工强档): This slick and tense thriller with comedic elements from South Korean director Shin Tae-ra concerns an aggressive unit of the Russian mafia, detached to infiltrate Korea and filch a cutting-edge chemical weapon. The Korean government issues two secret agents to stop the Russians - both masked by undercover identities: Ahn Soo-ji (Kim Ha-neul), a tough-as-nails female martial arts pro who continues to draw the envy of all of her colleagues, and her male counterpart, klutzy and inept rookie Lee Jae-joon (Kang ji-Hwan), whose unfortunate presence leads to a series of outrageous blunders. Complicating matters, it seems, is the fact that the couple (polar opposites, who hate each other passionately), were once romantically involved.
• Ne te retourne pas / Don´t Look Back (不要回头): A 2009 psychodrama about a photographer whose pictures tell a different story to that of her perception. Directed by Marina de Van and starring Sophie Marceau and Monica Bellucci. The film is in French and Italian.

 

Leo Messi recovered from a dental infection which had made him doubtful before the game to score his second hat-trick of the month and lead Barça to a 2-4 victory over Zaragosa at the Romereda tonight. Adjectives fail me to describe Messi's performance tonight, his incredible second goal will be shown all around the world, and when Zaragosa put the result in doubt with two late goals to bring the score back to 2-3 Messi again went on a mazy slalom run to win a penalty which Ibrahimovic scored to give the scoreline a fairer reflection of the game. Messi showed no signs of any discomfort and it will be the Zaragosa defenders who will have toothache tonight. 

Pep Guardiola decided to give a rest to Puyol, Iniesta and Henry so there was a return to the starting lineup for Milito, Keita and Ibrahimovic. The most noticeable thing about the team selection was to see a physical midfield of Busquets, Toure and Keita as we returned to our classic 4-3-3 formation. Messi began the game on the right but he was much more effective when he moved inside in the second half.

We got off to a fantastic start, in the 5th minute Messi gave a poor pass forward which went straight to Diogo who made a dreadful clearance straight to Ibrahimovic who sent the ball out to Pedro on the left, Pedro made a neat stepover before zipping past Diogo and crossing to the far post where Messi headed comfortably past Zaragosa keeper Roberto. Soon after another defensive mistake gave Keita the chance to get into the area but his cross was cut out for a corner. From the corner kick Piqué's backheel flick went straight at Roberto.

Zaragosa were not in the game and were restricted to a couple of hopeful long shots that went wide. It wasn't until 17th minute that Eliseu looked to have a decent shooting chance but Alves did brilliantly to get back quickly and block. We continued to dominate and in the 23rd minute Pedro, Keita and Maxwell combined well on the left and Maxwell's cross found Toure stretching at the far post but he was only able to hook the ball back over the crossbar. In the 30th minute Messi's corner from the right cleared the defenders but Ibrahimovic saw it late and his header from 5 yards went just wide of the far post. Zaragosa began to come into the game in the last 15 minutes of the first half but our defence was solid with Alves and Milito playing particularly well and Valdés did not have a save to make.

Early in the second half Zaragosa won three corners in quick succession which we defended well, from the third Valdés caught the ball and threw out quickly to Pedro who brought the ball forward before freeing Busquets to his left, Busquets pushed the ball into the area to Ibra who backheeled to Toure but unfortunately Toure's shot from a tight angle went over. in the 61st minute Alves crossed to the far post where Messi stretched but could only turn his volley over. Then in the 66th minute Messi scored his spectacular second, Busquets forced Ander to turn towards his own goal and Messi robbed the ball 45 yards out, Messi quickly broke away, skipped past Jarosik as though he wasn't there, as Messi reached the area he cut inside and then outside of Contini before firing low past Roberto into the far corner for a goal that brought back memories of Ronaldo's incredible goal against Compestela in 1996.

A couple of minutes later Roberto had to make an excellent save as Contini nearly turned Pedro's cross into his own goal, then in the 73rd minute Ibra again saw a cross late, this time from Iniesta's cross, but the ball that more than anything hit Ibra deflected goalwards and Roberto again had to save. Ibra then missed an excellent chance from Pedro's cross but in the 78th minute Messi completed his hat-trick after receiving a short pass from Iniesta and curling in a shot from the edge of the area.

In the 84th minute Messi unselfishly set up Ibra, as he knew how much Ibra needs a goal but Ibra again fired wide from a good position. We might have paid dearly for the miss as Zaragosa found our substitute central defenders Marquez and Puyol sleeping. First Marquez allowed Colunga to get away from him for speed to receive a long pass and Colunga got unchallenged into the box to fire past Valdés. In the 89th minute it was Puyol who failed to mark Colunga after a quick free kick (was the ball moving when the kick was taken?) and Colunga scored again to set up a nervous finish. However, Messi hadn't finished his exhibition and was again turned Jarosik and Contini inside out before Jarosik could take no more humilliation and ppulled Messi back to deny him another spectacular goal. Messi allowed Ibra to take the resulting penalty and finally Ibra got on the scoresheet sending Roberto the wrong way.

Messi is absolutely on fire at the moment, 11 goals now in his last five games including three, the first against Valencia, the first against Stuttgart and the second today, that were works of art. No doubt that Arsene Wenger will have seen today's game and he will probably have a sleepless night trying to work out how Arsenal will be able to stop our maestro. However, it was not just a one-man show, our defence was very solid today  until Milito and Piqué had to go off due to minor injuries, while Sergio Busquets had a very good game as the holding man in midfield. We now face Osasuna on Wednesday and Mallorca away on Saturday before the first big game with Arsenal in London the following Wednesday. If Messi can stay in such incredible form it will be difficult for anyone to stop us, sometimes it is hard to believe that Messi is human, however, he is, so it seems unlikely he will be able to stay at such a level. For those of us fortunate enough to be enjoying his displays week in week out it is an absolute joy at the moment and we would be wise to enjoy it while it lasts. 

Barça: Valdés 7; Alves 8, Piqué 7 (Puyol m69, 6), Milito 8 (Marquez m73, 5.5), Maxwell 7; Toure 7 (Iniesta m63, 7), Busquets 8, Keita 6; Messi 10, Ibrahimovic 6, Pedro 7.5.

Goals: m5 Messi 0-1, m66 Messi 0-2, m78 Messi 0-3, m85 Colunga 1-3, m89 Colunga 2-3, m91 Ibrahimovic (pen) 2-4.

Barça yellow cards: m39 Toure, m76 Maxwell, m84 Alves.

How do you review a game that has simultaneously brought you endless frustration and endless wonder? A game that has made you want to throw the controller and keep your eyes glued to the screen with a dropped jaw all at once? Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon is a conundrum. A deep, dark, desolate and thoroughly beautiful experience married to an aggravating, repetitive and lacking game. 

Fragile Dreams is brilliant. It is also quite bad. Yet it is also very good. 

How do you review a game like this? Very much like this game's intrepid hero, Seto, you just keep walking aimlessly in the dark and hope you find something. Then you get kicked in the back by a giggling pair of ghost legs that appeared out of nowhere. 

Did I mention this game is weird as Hell, too? Read on as we try to review Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon. 

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon (Wii) 
Developer: tri-Crescendo, Namco
Publisher: Xseed Games
Released: March 16, 2010
MSRP: $49.99

Fragile Dreams is difficult to categorize, as it straddles genres and always manages to elude an accurate pigeonhole. It is part action/adventure, part JRPG, part survival horror and part art game all rolled into one. It tells the tale of a young boy named Seto who finds himself alone in a world where most of humanity has died and everything it built has been left in ruin. The one man he ever knew has passed away, and so he sets out on a journey to find more survivors and share his life with someone other than himself.

Fragile Dreams is all about the journey, and it's one of the saddest journeys ever seen in a videogame. Its tale is a tragic one, and as the game's story is drip fed to the player, as Seto encounters a range of eccentric characters and suffers the loss of their brief company, only a player with a heart of stone could experience it and not feel something. The most amazing thing is how some of the game's saddest moments shouldn't be as depressing as they are. One very early scene, at the end of the first section, is unbelievably poignant, despite the fact we barely know the characters involved. 

It's an odd game, that is for certain, but not in a Killer 7 or Muscle March way. It's not wacky, or weird for the sake of weird. There's something deeper, darker and genuinely surprising about this humble little title. There are shocking moments in Fragile Dreams, but the game never forces those shocks with extreme plot twists or over-the-top action sequences. Instead, it possesses an astounding sense of subtlety, and is full of moments that you just don't see in other titles, helped along by the fact that everything about it is so intensely human. 

The game speaks out to some of our greatest fears, namely that of isolation and loneliness. Seto is a boy who just wants to be with someone. Stuck wandering alone in a world full of ghosts and memories, his desperation for a friend and his obsessive search for a girl he only briefly met set the stage for one of gaming's most engaging narratives. 

Unfortunately, so much time, effort and love was poured into the story that it seems none was left to spare for the gameplay.

Fragile Dreams is played mostly as a traditional action/adventure title with elements of horror and roleplaying thrown in. The majority of the game is spent wandering around various desolate locations, taking control of Seto as he searches for the first human girl he's ever met. The nunchuck is used to move Seto around while the Wii remote controls his torch, very much like the control scheme for Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. As he lights up the dismal areas with some impressive lighting effects, Seto will uncover items, creep across broken floors, read the memories of precious objects left behind, barter with a man in a giant chicken helmet, and fight an army of twisted and spooky ghosts.

The combat, by far Fragile Dreams' weakest element, is all handled with one button. As Seto encounters various ghosts and monstrosities on his travels, he'll employ all manner of improvised weapons to take them out. Attacking is handled entirely by the A button, with limited potential for combos and charge attacks based on the timing of the presses. Unfortunately, Seto fights exactly like the fifteen-year-old boy he is. Worse, in fact. His attacks are delayed, he has poor recovery after each hit, he can't target enemies properly, and he has zero defensive capabilities whatsoever. He can't block or dodge, despite the fact that the Z button is left idle throughout the entire game. Would it have killed the developers to throw in a dodge move for the Z button? Apparently so. 

The game isn't difficult. Health items are liberally thrown at the player and there are save points that fully replenish Seto's life. It's almost impossible to die for the vast majority of the game. However, fighting the various ghosts that usually hover out of attack range or sneak up from behind, is an absolute pain.

Fights take longer than they should because even the most common of enemies find ways to stay out of harm's way and drag out the already dull combat. A number of opponents frequently phase in and out of reality and take cheap shots from behind, while Seto simply lies back and takes it because he has no way to avoid most attacks. Many enemies stagger upon being hit with a strong attack, but their staggers send them high into the air or low to the ground, where Seto can't hit them, and they take far too long to get back into range. It's like everything in the game is stalling for time, and it grinds on one's nerves.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Seto's weapon can break, or rather, it will break. A lot. In fact, the further into the game you get, the more fragile Seto's weapons become. Broken weapons can only be thrown away, and players will need to buy new ones from a merchant who only randomly appears at save points when he feels like it. Carrying multiple weapons might sound like a good idea, but Seto has a ridiculously limited amount of item slots and his slots fill up quicker than Paris Hilton's on a Friday night. It gets absolutely ridiculous in the last chapter of the game, when Seto can't keep hold of a weapon for more than a handful of fights. I have no idea what tri-Crescendo were thinking with this idea.

That's not the worst of it, however. Nearly every single task Seto has to perform to advance the game's story is nothing but pointless, boring, totally unwarranted filler, to the point where it becomes an insult to the player's intelligence.

Inexcusably gratuitous backtracking, offensively dull fetch quests, and mind-numbing mini games make up half the gameplay, with the other half being ... nothing. Absolutely nothing. There are moments in this game, far too many moments in fact, where the player's time is thoroughly and infuriatingly wasted. Whether Seto is climbing down a ladder that takes almost ten full minutes to scale, or walking through long, repetitive corridors with nothing at the end of them, there are moments of sheer boredom that clearly exist only to bump the game's running time up, and feel like nothing but a slap in the face from the developers. 

It's only in the last hour that the game starts really throwing any new ideas on the table. Interesting bosses and fresh gameplay elements are crammed into the closing chapter, and it makes one wonder exactly why the ten-minute ladders and empty corridors were even necessary. It's simply flabbergasting that such an imaginative and clever game is also such a dull, uninspired and exasperating one.

Some of the things that Fragile Dreams makes the player do, some of the unfair demands on a gamer's time and energy, are completely inexcusable. There's no excuse for a fetch quest that sends you back through every area you've just cleared. There's no excuse for cumbersome and restricted item management. There's no excuse for weapons that break every five minutes. There's no excuse for vast sections of time spent doing nothing but walking along empty corridors or going down endless flights of stairs. There's no excuse for a room full of motion-tracking cameras that manage to detect you even when you're not in their field of vision and send you back to the beginning when you get caught (after forcing you into a fight that will make your weapon break). There is no excuse. Not for any of it. 

And yet ... I love this game. I love this insulting, infuriating waste of time. I will never, ever play Fragile Dreams again. However, I am intensely glad that I have played it once. For everything this game does wrong, and it does nearly everything wrong, it manages to make up for it with a sublime story, amazing characters and some of the most memorable scenes I have ever had the pleasure to witness. At times I truly did want to throw my controller and turn the Wii off. Yet I couldn't. I couldn't tear myself away because I was so hooked by this game's stellar narrative and the beautifully bleak and melancholic atmosphere of the whole experience. 

I want to give this game a high score. It deserves a high score simply for what it does as a piece of artistic entertainment. However, it also deserves to be criticized for the fact that it fails in so many blatant and unacceptable ways. A game can get only so far on a compelling story, no matter how emotionally engaging and unique it may be. Unfortunately, Fragile Dreams crosses far too many lines. So many that, eventually, the story cannot sustain the overall experience. 

Is Fragile Dreams worth playing? Absolutely, if you have the sheer willpower and patience to see it through. There is truly nothing quite like this game, on the Wii or anywhere else. However, the game makes so many unfair demands of the player and requires so much forgiveness that most won't want to stick with it. It's a horrible shame because the things that Fragile Dreams does right are done beautifully, and such a lovingly crafted world deserves so much better than to be forced into a poor game.

That's the biggest frustration with Fragile Dreams. That so much brilliance is let down by careless and slapdash game design. That a truly wonderful story is clouded by terrible combat, terrible quests and terrible wastes of time. That a title deserving nines, tens and nominations for game of the year has been relegated to the status of "alright" and "just about worth playing if you've got the stomach for it" thanks to things that not even the developers could have considered acceptable.

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon is beautiful. I thank the developers for making it. I resent the developers for not making it good enough. 

Score: 6.0 -- Alright (6s may be slightly above average or simply inoffensive. Fans of the genre should enjoy them a bit, but a fair few will be left unfulfilled.)