The most interesting position in England's batting order is up for grabs and it must be filled by a larger than life player in step with its riotous possibilities

This week the England cricket hierarchy solved in a single stroke what looked to be its most ticklish immediate problems. Gorgeous, pouting, poster-ready Alastair Cook, who previously couldn't get in the squad, will be England's 50-over captain. And pouting, gorgeous, sponsor-catnip Stuart Broad, who refused the chance to play Twenty20 in the IPL because it wasn't a career priority, is now England's Twenty20 captain.

Probably this will all work out just fine. Andy Flower has a good record with these kind of hard-nosed judgments, as should a man who appears literally to have a hard nose, not to mention a head chiselled out of reclaimed Victorian oak. There is another problem, though, that has yet to be solved, and which seems to me more fundamental. The ongoing audition for the vacant slot in England's batting order – billed as the Battle To Fill The Number Six Slot – reached a thick-sweatered fever pitch this week as various hopefuls pressed their suit in county cricket. It is exciting to see the No6 spot attracting such giddy attention, albeit for me there is a sense that this slightly disrespects the No6 spot, which frankly deserves a little better than being bandied about as a clearing house for the nearlies, a side‑saddle, L-plate kind of role.

In fact, No6 is the most interesting spot in any England batting order, particularly at home where the game can nibble and fret and hoop forwards at an alarming rate and No6 is suddenly the keystone for all possibilities. Being a No6 is the direct ideological opposite of being an opener, a position where a mechanical type of player will flourish, just as Cook has, trundling forward irresistibly like a Soviet-era combine harvester ploughing its lone furrow from horizon to horizon. Openers are essentially perfectionists, militant virgins who will throw their hands up and wander off the set at the first crimp in their pristine morning. Behind them three, four and five are often described as "the engine room", but engine rooms are staffed by hoary-handed grease monkeys, whereas the middle order are the prom kings and queens of batsmanship, a cabal of head prefects and silver-spoon merchants.

It is only the No6, slouching unshaven at the mid-innings tipping point, who carries a sense of libidinous top-order romance. For the No6 decisions must be made even as the world collapses around you. It is a jumping-off point, an improv role, a mix‑another-cocktail‑in‑the-kitchen-at‑2am kind of job. It is also the most heroic of all positions. If Batman played cricket, or Indiana Jones, or the Beat poets of the 1950s, they would all bat at No6 (possibly also in a white helmet and carrying a bat with unusual stickers).

For England the current approach appears to be to identify Some Dude Who's Good At Batting – a Warhol collage of Bopara-Taylor-Morgan-Stokes-Hildreth – and then simply slot him in at six. This is probably very sensible, but it is also depressingly pragmatic. From a romantic's point of view you want the right kind of chops for No6. It has a weird kind of power. It can intimidate as it did in the 1990s when various priestly top-order types – not to mention flavour‑of-the-month bumcrack-and-highlights county favourites – found themselves out of step with its riotous possibilities. No6 can inspire too, as it did on occasion for Graeme Hick, or late‑era Alec Stewart, in that period where he batted with the time‑worn recklessness of a silk‑shirted divorcee in a provincial disco hip‑thrusting through the YMCA. Even Ian Bell has seemed transformed by its seesaw pressures, all beefy crunching forearms and that lazy pull-shot reminiscent of a man heaving his derelict ironing board on to the municipal tip.

Best of all, though, is the specialist No6 batsman, who has aspirations for nothing more and is totally embroiled in the No6 lifestyle. It is impossible not to think of Ian Botham, who stayed concreted in at No6 even as his career congealed. Botham had a lot of what I would ideally want from my No6 batsman. I want him not to wear too much padding, to look like a man who has rushed out to bat from the track, or a night spent at the Grand Hotel in Cannes: helmetless is the dream, but provocatively bared forearms will do. A No6 should more often than not casually hit his first ball for four. He must not be too mannered – not too much bat-twiddling – but instead carry a slouching air of menace. A No6 must hold his bat with coiled purpose, like a power tool or a murder weapon.

Of the current thrusters, Ravi Bopara has an appealingly overblown swagger. Eoin Morgan has the right air of lip-curling self-possession. And Kevin Pietersen could be a great six if he could just give up pretending to be head boy and finally embrace his all-conquering, skunk-haired inner dickhead.

There is plenty of natural six‑iness out there – but it is still necessary to respect the six. Choose your six and let him be simply a six: a reserve of un-homogenised charisma teetering at the not-quite midpoint.

twitter.com/@barneyronay

JS: Brandon Jennings will be part of tour in India
After touring China last summer, Brandon Jennings will once again be promoting NBA hoops abroad, this time in the cities of Mumbai and Pune in India. We can debate Jennings' game until the cows come home, but it's pretty cool to see a Milwaukee Buck player not named Yi Jianlian developing a global brand, no?

Ford: Tristan Thompson to Bucks in Mock 1.0
Dan writes: Chad Ford has the Bucks taking Tristan Thompson, a 6'8" PF from Texas with the 10th pick. I'm not real hot on this pick, or really anybody whose "skill level isn't particularly high on the offensive end." Plus it seems dumb to pick any PF other than a sure-fire star right after Sanders. I'm much more excited about the picks flanking Milwaukee: Kawhi Leonard (#9 to Charlotte), Terrence Jones (#11 to Golden State), and Alec Burks (#12 to Utah). As a side note, doesn't this seem like the most unpredictable draft in years?

Frank adds: Like Arizona's Derrick Williams, Thompson doesn't have prototypical PF size (6'8.5", 235 pounds) but makes up for it with motor (nearly half his eight rpg on the offensive end), length (7'2" wingspan) and athleticism (2.4 bpg). However, unlike Williams he's a rather raw talent despite being a year older than most other freshman (he turned 20 in March). While he's great at getting to the line in spite of his lack of polish (7.3 fta in 30 mpg), he made just 48.7% of his free throws last season and he's Canadian. For what it's worth, DX has him 15th on their board.

Woelfel: Irving is cream of draft crop
Gery Woelfel recently polled seven NBA officials about the draft's top prospects and got some interesting results. Aside from the unanimous selection of Kyrie Irving as the top pick, Derrick Williams only barely edged Euro big men Enes Kanter and Jonas Valanciunas for the second spot. 

Other notes: Carlos Delfino plans to once again play with the Argentine national team this summer and Kelvin Sampson remains in the hunt for the vacant Rockets head coaching gig.

Bucks.com: '71 Bucks celebration video
Jim Paschke highlights the 40th anniversary of the 1971 championship team, including some locker room footage from way back in the day. 

Filed under: Reality-Free, TV Replay

Alec Baldwin thinks it's a good thing if Donald Trump runs for the presidency. He talked about it with Jimmy Fallon on 'Late Night' (Weeknights, 12:35AM ET on NBC) and he seemed to think it would be great.

"Trump running for president is a good thing. It's fun," Baldwin said. "Trump winning the presidency, that's a bad thing."

Certainly, it would make for some very lively debates like we got back when Ross Perot was running and earned a spot in the major debates. Considering Fallon does a pretty good Trump impression, 'Late Night' would obviously love it.

 

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• Eddie Sefko of The Dallas Morning News: "The Mavericks officially have the Los Angeles Lakers’ attention. And the rest of the NBA’s, too. Announcing themselves as serious championship contenders, the Mavericks took down the Lakers for the second time in three nights at the Staples Center. Dirk Nowitzki was a beast, the reserves dominated their LA counterparts and the Mavericks pulled away in the fourth quarter for a 93-81 victory Wednesday night. They took a commanding 2-0 lead in the best-of-seven conference semifinals. The Mavericks have never been up 2-0 in a series that they started on the road. Only once in franchise history -- the 2006 NBA Finals -- have they lost a playoff series after going up 2-0. The Lakers’ series record when falling behind 2-0: 2-16. Theoretically, it could have been the last home game of the season for the two-time defending NBA champs. The next two games are at American Airlines Center and while the series is a long way from over, the Mavericks are in wonderful shape going into Game 3. The two-time defending champions clearly are on the ropes."
• Dwain Price of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: "If this season turns into the special one the Dallas Mavericks hope it will be, they're going to look back at Wednesday night's game against the Los Angeles Lakers as the turning point. With an opportunity to put the two-time defending NBA champions on their heels, the Mavs seized the moment in a big way with a convincing 93-81 victory at Staples Center. With the win, Dallas took a 2-0 lead in the best-of-seven Western Conference semifinal series after it stunningly won both games in LA. The Mavs will host Games 3 and 4 Friday and Sunday at American Airlines Center, opening the door for them to sweep the series without having to come back to the West Coast. And who would have imagined that happening before this series started? 'We're a great road team because we're resilient,' center Brendan Haywood said. 'We're a family -- everybody roots for each other. And we have a lot of different guys that can hit big shots. So on the road usually when we're down, we never feel that we're out of it.' "
• Jeff Miller of The Orange County Register: "Ugly, empty and quiet. It was so silent in Staples Center on Wednesday that you could hear a champion drop. That was the Lakers hitting the floor, ironically on a night when they couldn't hit anything else. They fell stunningly and meekly, 93-81, now trail Dallas two games to none and face a mudslide of history and statistical data that suggests their survival is in dire jeopardy. 'It's unfamiliar,' Derek Fisher said of the feeling of being in a 0-2 hole. 'It's not a great place to be. (We have) a big uphill climb to make from here, but the opportunity is still there. We have to clean up a lot of things and get a lot better in 48 hours.' We're not burying the Lakers, yet. But in a postseason that already has made the San Antonio Spurs and Boston Celtics (for the past two games, at least) look like graying, bygone champions, the Lakers appear mighty creaky at the moment. And before it was over Wednesday, Ron Artest brought even more embarrassment to the prouder franchise, hammering Dallas' J.J. Barea and getting himself booted from the game in the final seconds. Gotta give Artest credit, though. He found a way to do something the Lakers failed to do all night -- discourage Barea. Among other things in Game 2, the Lakers were beaten by a man who stands 6 feet tall but might as well have been a 7-footer while twirling through all those motionless Laker bodies."
• Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times: "When the story of the end of the Lakers' attempt to win three consecutive championships is written, it will begin, and end, with Pau Gasol. You want a scapegoat for a 93-81 loss to the Dallas Mavericks on Wednesday in Game 2 of the Western Conference semifinals? You want to attach a name to a two-games-to-none deficit that will be historically improbable to overcome? Gasol is, sadly, your man. He has a great smile, a warm personality, two rings' worth of skills, and the love of Lakers fans who will forever link the team's three-year resurgence to his arrival. He is also disappearing before our disbelieving eyes. The melting that began in the first round against New Orleans ended in a puddle on the Staples Center floor Wednesday when Gasol was once again pushed, shoved, and battered into the sort of submission that the other Lakers could not overcome."
• Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times: "The last time the Bulls had the coach of the year and MVP in the same season, it was 15 years ago, and Hall of Famers Phil Jackson and Michael Jordan received the honors. Now it’s Tom Thibodeau and Derrick Rose’s turn. In the last 72 hours, they received the coveted individual awards. And their futures look pretty good, if still a little unsteady. And that’s mostly because the Bulls have an uneven team with some holes in the lineup and a number of dents. After the 86-73 victory Wednesday, the Bulls even seemed a bit downcast, perhaps angry and resolute. This is not a larger-than-life team. And they know it. This is not West-Chamberlain-Baylor. Not Magic-Kareem-Worthy. Not Bird-McHale-Parish. And certainly not Jordan-Pippen-Rodman. This is a team of one superstar and fill-in-the-blanks. Some darned good fill-in-the-blanks, mind you. But will anyone else on this team ever even be an All-Star? Luol Deng? Maybe. And the once-stellar Carlos Boozer? Injured and blocky, he seems to be disappearing before our eyes."
• Mark Bradley of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "Truth to tell, the Hawks saw nothing in Game 2 that should make them think they can’t beat the Bulls a few more times. They shot poorly. Horford was badly outplayed by his college roomie Joakim Noah. Johnson needed 15 shots to score 16 points, Smith 14 to score 14. With all that, this still was in doubt inside the final four minutes. And that, conveniently enough, is where this series stands: Tied at 1, very much in doubt."
• Ira Winderman of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel: "Through the series’ first two games,  Chris Bosh is averaging 12 points on 40-percent shooting and 11.5 rebounds. For the Celtics, Garnett is averaging 11 points on .379 shooting and 7.0 rebounds. Both can do better. Both teams would appreciate if they did. But if the Heat can offset Garnett and keep Rajon Rondo in relative check, it positions LeBron James and Dwyane Wade to be the difference-makers, which has been the case in the first two games of this series. So far, Bosh is pleased with the effort against Garnett. 'He is a great shooter from outside,' he said. 'We need to keep a body on him and make him work for everything in the post. When he shoots a turnaround jump shot, over his head fading away, he is going to make some of them. We just wanted to limit his easy baskets, push him out, and not let him get those easy post touches.' So far, there has been little easy offense in the post, with backup center Joel Anthony offering a secure second line of defense. Bosh said he has no issue being positioned to merely offset Garnett. 'Our defense is always going to be our backbone,' he said."
• Howard Beck of The New York Times: "As partners, James and Wade have indeed seen their stature erode. James received only four first-place votes for most valuable player, after winning the award in 2009 and 2010. Wade appeared on 10 ballots. In securing a better supporting cast on his own terms, James invited a harsher spotlight. Once he was cheered in nearly every arena. Now the Heat might be the most hated team in the league. Critics contend that James took the easy way out. But James’s experience -- the jeers, the profane taunts, the off-color signs -- indicates otherwise. In a society that is eager to forgive and forget the transgressions of its sports stars -- from Pete Rose to Alex Rodriguez, Ron Artest to Ray Lewis -- James seems destined to rise again. He is no expert in Q scores, but he seems to sense as much. As he considered the antipathy, James said confidently, 'I think it’s going to die down in the next couple years, of course.' "
• Steve Bulpett of the Boston Herald: "Kevin Garnett isn’t the problem in the Celtics Eastern Conference semifinal series against Miami. There is too much competition for that title to pick a clear winner. But Garnett needs to be a major part of the solution if their season is to extend beyond Monday. Shaquille O’Neal didn’t walk through that door for Games 1 and 2. Well, he did, but he was limping. Therefore, even if he does play in Game 3 Saturday, he won’t be left out there for long. Garnett simply must be a larger factor on both ends of the court. The fact that he hasn’t been all the Celtics need him to be has the club concerned. The numbers scream and shout. The Celtics took just 40 free throws in the first two games while the Heat were attempting 68. Considering Miami also hoisted a total of 35 treys in its two wins, the fact that the Heat got 28 more shots from the line is stunning. And so, too, is the fact that Garnett didn’t attempt a single free throw. Joel Anthony, meanwhile, is 6-for-6 from the line. Chris Bosh has taken 13."
• Julian Benbow of The Boston Globe: "After several years of discussion and debate stretching from sports talk radio to the White House, Bill Russell, the Celtics’ legend and civil rights activist, will be honored with a statue in Boston. In February, when President Obama invited Russell to the White House to award him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, he could not help but ask a simple question: How was it possible that a city that had honored so many of its sports legends had yet to commemorate the legacy of one of its most transcendent ones? 'I hope that one day in the streets of Boston, children will look up at a statue built not only to Bill Russell the player, but Bill Russell the man,' Obama said. The words will ring true. The Celtics announced plans yesterday to build a statue of Russell, the player who not only helped bring 11 NBA titles to Boston but also served as a symbol for the racial tension in the city during the civil rights movement and the progress ever since."
• Darnell Mayberry of The Oklahoman: "On Wednesday, Scott Brooks came as close as he'll ever come to lashing out on a topic. It was no surprise it had to do with the growing criticism and scrutiny surrounding point guard Russell Westbrook. 'With Russell, we analyze ever possession,' Brooks started. 'I do that myself when we break down the films. But it seems like everybody's breaking down the film. They're like, in my meetings or in my head. It's not fair to him.' Brooks then brought up Westbrook's achievements and how far he's come in such short time, developing into an All-Star and helping to lead the Thunder to back-to-back playoff appearance despite playing mostly at off guard in college. 'He gets criticized for every bad game,' Brooks said. 'He's not the only player that has a bad game. He's not going to be the only player in the future that has bad games. But the only thing I can say about that is Russell knows what he needs to do. And we talk to him and he's coachable and he wants to get better.' ... When asked if Westbrook is the most overanalyzed point guard in NBA history, Brooks didn't hesitate to put him near the top of the list. 'Maybe not the history,' Brooks said. 'But for what he's accomplished in three years, absolutely. He's right up there.' "
• Ronald Tillery of The Commercial-Appeal: "The Grizzlies began round two of the NBA playoffs against the Oklahoma City Thunder in a similar fashion as their opening series against the San Antonio Spurs. After stealing Game 1 on the road, the Griz lost their identity for most of Game 2 and returned to Memphis with a split. Perhaps the only difference in the early stages of both series is the Grizzlies' reaction after Game 2. Memphis seemed angry after losing to San Antonio because of a prevailing attitude that it was a game it gave away. The team displayed a more solemn mood following its defeat Tuesday night at Oklahoma City. The Griz had been beaten. Yet the series shifts to FedExForum for Game 3 on Saturday night with the Griz owning an edge, even if it appears that the Thunder now have momentum. Memphis left Oklahoma City having accomplished its goal of stealing home-court advantage -- with the best-of-seven Western Conference semifinals series tied at 1-1, the Griz could win just their home games to advance. So far, the Griz are 3-0 in FedExForum during their eye-popping postseason run but are sure to be challenged more in this series than in their waltz with the Spurs."
• Vincent Goodwill Jr. of The Detroit News: "New Pistons owner Tom Gores sat courtside at Game 2 of the Lakers-Mavs series on Wednesday night at Staples Center. In the first half, Ron Artest, who people around these parts are more than familiar with, acquainted himself with the new guy when he dove into the stands after a loose ball. Gores, in a blue shirt and seated next to his brother Alec, didn't seem to flinch when Artest came his way. On the other side of Gores? Jack Nicholson, perhaps the biggest celebrity fan in the NBA. While the deal transferring ownership from Karen Davidson to Gores isn't expected to become official for another two weeks or so, seeing Gores courtside at a big game should make Pistons fans smile. He recognizes the severity, even from a fan's perspective, of the playoffs. Don't forget, he was courtside during Game 7 of the Finals last year, so he is a fan, which should equate to passion."
• Bob Kravitz of The Indianapolis Star: "This is a term you rarely hear in French Lick, but it applies to Larry Bird: The man has chutzpah. How else do you explain his statement that he would consider returning as Indiana Pacers president of basketball operations if owner Herb Simon, who has always been generous with Bird and the franchise, is willing to spend the cash necessary to improve the team? It's OK to have those private concerns; it's not OK to go public with them. It's wrong from a personal standpoint -- Simon has been extraordinarily good to Bird -- and it's wrong from a business standpoint, sucking the air out of the room after the team's energizing late-season improvement. I like Bird immensely, appreciate his accessibility and honesty, but when did his team play in the Eastern Conference finals? Did I miss something? In the last year of The Plan, Bird's team won a sub- mediocre 37 games and only made the playoffs because the Eastern Conference stinks. The truth is, if the Pacers were in the West -- in which case, they probably wouldn't have won 37 games -- Indiana would have missed the playoffs and everybody would be calling for Bird to pack his bags. Now he's talking like he's Pat Riley or even Memphis' Chris Wallace: I might think about coming back, but only if you give me some assurances. Really? Even if Bird's concerns are valid -- though it's never been my sense that Simon is hiding the checkbook -- this isn't something you drop on your owner in a public setting."
• Mike Jensen of The Philadelphia Inquirer: "Of the Sixers top seven players, a majority of respondents wanted only Andre Iguodala gone. Makes sense to me. Let's get rid of the team's top perimeter defender, the guy who often handled the ball down the stretch in tight games. Collins figured out how to use him, Iguodala bought in, the team took off ... and now, goodbye? I'm more than fine with trading Iguodala for value, preferably a shooting version of himself. If this season turned him into a tradable commodity, fantastic. But despite obvious flaws, Iguodala remains the best basketball player in this city and will be next season. Just because he wants to go doesn't mean the Sixers should let him."
• Perry A. Farrell of the Detroit Free Press: "The Pistons are not commenting on the recent comments Grant Hill made about the foot injury and subsequent treatment he received from the Pistons and Orlando Magic medical staffs during the 1999-2000 and 2000-01 seasons. Robert Teitge, the team's orthopedic surgeon when Hill was a Piston, did not return two phone calls from the Free Press, and Arnie Kander, the team's strength and conditioning coach, was advised not to speak on the matter by current management with the potential sale of the team pending. 'The health of our players is and always has been the No. 1 priority of our organization,' said Kevin Grigg, the team's vice president of public relations."
• Buck Harvey of the San Antonio Express-News: "Most wait to say these things, but there’s no reason to. Mike Mitchell deserves to hear them now. He deserves to hear what was lost in transition from franchise to franchise, and in translation from America to Italy. He deserves to hear he was one of the best basketball players San Antonio has seen. Because he was, and because he hasn’t heard that enough. Mitchell is 55 years old now. He has some good days, but mostly bad ones. His wife, Diana, says he rarely leaves his bed in San Antonio, comforted by hospice care and family. His 6-foot-7 body has betrayed him, when it had always been a reliable ally. No current Spur has the combination of power and touch that Mitchell had. ... Mitchell occasionally played charity golf tournaments, and he sometimes made appearances at various Spurs functions. But he lived as he played, quietly going about his business. Then came November of 2009, when he went to see a doctor because of neck and shoulder pain. The diagnosis was staggering -- he has an unusual form of lung cancer, one that takes place outside the lining of the lungs. Treatments followed, as did moments of hope. But the cancer returned last September. Now, at this stage, he needs assistance to stand. When the pain medication doesn’t overwhelm him, he can be awake and alert. He was last week, when he and his family stayed up to watch the Spurs. So, during these times of clarity, he deserves to hear a few things, about how he played, and how his basketball career is remembered. There’s no reason to wait for that."
• Bob Finnan of The News-Herald: "The Cavaliers are accepting applications to be their next radio play-by-play announcer. Hall of Fame broadcaster Joe Tait retired at the conclusion of the 2010-11 season, having been the radio voice of the Cavaliers for 39 seasons. 'We'd like to invite all qualified candidates to apply,' Cavs president Len Komoroski said. '(We have already received) a great mix of impressive broadcasters, but we'd like to also officially encourage anyone that is interested to now apply as we start this important process. We will undergo a deep and thorough review as we search for just the right person to be the new radio play-by-play voice of the Cavs.' "

Jimmy asks Alec about what's on his finger and talks about some of the great work Alec has done in his career.

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Added: Thu May 05 05:58:09 UTC 2011
Air date: Wed May 04 00:00:00 UTC 2011
Duration: 05:07

According to the old adage, Hollywood’s greatest actors are ones who could make the prospect of reading of the phone book compelling. In Marlon Brando‘s case, Julien’s Auctions in Beverly Hills has the next best thing this weekend – the late actor’s personal phone book from 2003.

The starting bid for this item is $500, and while many of the numbers may no longer be in service, it’s still a great dinner party conversation starter:

A burgundy leather three-ring binder telephone book circa 2003 containing hundreds of Brando’s personal friends and business contacts worldwide. Some names include Michael Jackson, Johnny Depp, Alec Baldwin, Johnnie Cochran, Francis Ford Coppola, Robert De Niro, Jane Goodall, Faye Dunaway, Jane Fonda, Madonna, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, John Travolta, Barbra Streisand as well as noted scientists in various fields of study, press contacts and the United Nations and many other noteable entries.

If that’s not good enough, you can bid on the Golden Globe statuette the actor never accepted for his portrayal of Don Corleone in The Godfather.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

I believe in giving former President Bush all the credit he deserves in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Read on to find out the credit I think he earned in his eight years as president. Republicans have been quick to acknowledge and praise former president Bush's "contributions" to bringing the head of Al Qaeda and the man behind the 9/11 attacks to justice. However, they have been less charitable regarding our current President. Indeed many of them have refused to give Obama much of any credit for getting Osama bin Laden as Cenk Uygur of the Young Turks demonstrates in this video:

Republicans have also been claiming that Bush's policy to torture "enemy combatants" was the key to finding Bin Laden. Unfortunately for them, our own BooMan and Marcy Wheeler have demonstrated that their assertion torture had much if anything to do with tracking down Bin Laden is at best misleading, and at worst, an outright lie.

I know Marcy Wheeler is an encyclopedia when it comes to the timeline and torture of various detainees and so I checked her site first. Sure enough, she had already made an effort to debunk this talking point, which didn't originate with King and was not a result of King being briefed on anything. But, actually, Wheeler didn't pick up on the most obvious evidence that waterboarding had nothing to do with finding bin-Laden. It's right here in this ABC News piece, and it's completely explicit.

The revelation that intelligence gleaned from the CIA's so-called black sites helped kill bin Laden was seen as vindication for many intelligence officials who have been repeatedly investigated and criticized for their involvement in a program that involved the harshest interrogation methods in U.S. history.

"We got beat up for it, but those efforts led to this great day," said Marty Martin, a retired CIA officer who for years led the hunt for bin Laden.

Mohammed did not reveal the names while being subjected to the simulated drowning technique known as waterboarding, former officials said. He identified them many months later under standard interrogation, they said, leaving it once again up for debate as to whether the harsh technique was a valuable tool or an unnecessarily violent tactic.

Let me spend just a little time laying this out for you. Two men gave information that led to the identification of one of bin-Laden's couriers. Both of those men were held in black sites in Europe. Both men were tortured, including with the waterboarding technique. But they didn't give up the relevant information while they were being tortured.

The first detainee is alleged 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He gave up the courier's nickname under standard questioning, many months after he was tormented with incessant waterboarding. Two years later, another detainee was captured and waterboarded. His name is Abu Faraj al-Libi. As Marcy details, al-Libi didn't provide the man's actual identity until long after his waterboarding had ceased, and probably not until after he was transferred from the black site to Guantanamo.

Let me just add one more "pesky fact" but highly significant action by the Bush administration that demonstrates Bush had little if anything to do with getting Bin Laden.

Back in 2005 a special unit of the CIA was devoted solely to tracking down the whereabouts of Bin Laden as well as working to discover his plans for future terrorist attacks. It was a unit that had been officially put in place in 1996 under President Clinton. Guess who disbanded that unit and then waited over 6 months to tell anyone about it? If you guessed President George W. Bush have your self a cigar:

Published: July 4, 2006

WASHINGTON, July 3 — The Central Intelligence Agency has closed a unit that for a decade had the mission of hunting Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants, intelligence officials confirmed Monday.

The unit, known as Alec Station, was disbanded late last year and its analysts reassigned within the C.I.A. Counterterrorist Center, the officials said.

No one knows exactly when the CIA began taking an interest in Bin Laden, but its clear that the CIA and NSA began surveillance of Osama Bin Laden as long ago as the early 1990's when George Herbert Walker Bush was President.

It has not been revealed when US intelligence begins monitoring bin Laden exactly, though the CIA was tailing him in Sudan by the end of 1991 (see February 1991- July 1992). But in late 1995 the FBI is given forty thick files on bin Laden from the CIA and NSA, mostly communications intercepts (see October 1995). The sheer amount of material suggests the surveillance had been going on for several years. Dan Coleman, an FBI agent working with the CIA’s bin Laden unit, will begin examining these files and finds that many of them are transcripts from wiretapped phones tied to bin Laden’s businesses in Khartoum, Sudan, where bin Laden lives from 1991 to 1996.

Yet the George W. Bush administration unilaterally decided to make Osama Bin Laden a lesser priority in 2005, just as they had earlier decided to make Afghanistan a lesser priority when they decided to invade Iraq. In essence, Bush pulled the plug on getting Osama Bin Laden four years after 9/11.

The first head of the Alec Unit (sometimes referred to as the Bin Laden Issue Station), when informed of Bush's decision to disband it stated quite clearly at the time he thought Bush was making a major mistake and would hurt our nation's ability to combat Al Qaeda:

Michael Scheuer, a former senior C.I.A. official who was the first head of the [Alec] unit, said the move reflected a view within the agency that Mr. bin Laden was no longer the threat he once was.

Mr. Scheuer said that view was mistaken.

"This will clearly denigrate our operations against Al Qaeda," he said. "These days at the agency, bin Laden and Al Qaeda appear to be treated merely as first among equals."

So the next time someone tells you Bush deserves the credit and all Obama did was follow his policies drop that little bombshell on them:

In 2005 Bush dismantled the only unit in the CIA that was dedicated to looking for Bin Laden because the Bush administration didn't think it was important anymore. It wasn't until 2009 when Barack Obama took office that finding Bin Laden and bringing him to justice was reinstated as a priority.

That last quote is solely my own words, by the way, but feel free to use them in any emails or social media communications you employ.

What credit does Bush deserve for what Obama, his national security team, intelligence analysts and the Navy Seals accomplished in killing Osama bin Laden? This was, after all, the man who Bush ignored until the Twin Towers lay in ash and rubble with thousands of people buried within their smoking ruins?

[In "The One Percent Doctrine," Ron Suskind's] book's opening anecdote tells of an unnamed CIA briefer who flew to Bush's Texas ranch during the scary summer of 2001, amid a flurry of reports of a pending al-Qaeda attack, to call the president's attention personally to the now-famous Aug. 6, 2001, memo titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in US." Bush reportedly heard the briefer out and replied: "All right. You've covered your ass, now." Three months later, with bin Laden holed up in the Afghan mountain redoubt of Tora Bora, the CIA official managing the Afghanistan campaign, Henry A. Crumpton (now the State Department's counterterrorism chief), brought a detailed map to Bush and Cheney. White House accounts have long insisted that Bush had every reason to believe that Pakistan's army and pro-U.S. Afghan militias had bin Laden cornered and that there was no reason to commit large numbers of U.S. troops to get him. But Crumpton's message in the Oval Office, as told through Suskind, was blunt: The surrogate forces were "definitely not" up to the job, and "we're going to lose our prey if we're not careful."

You tell me if Bush deserves any credit for getting Bin Laden whatsoever.

I know what my answer is. I give Bush all the credit in the world for making certain we would not find Osama bin Laden or bring him to justice until someone else became President. He did a great job at accomplishing that mission.

Discuss

She’s a great addition to any project, and it is being reported that Malin Akerman has joined the cast of Broadway’s “Rock of Ages.”

The “Couples Retreat” star will play the role of a hard-nosed reporter who attempts to interview rock star Stacee Jaxx, played by Tom Cruise, but he ends up seducing her.

The musical is scheduled to begin shooting May 19 in Miami and will also star newcomer Diego Gonzalez Boneta, along with Alec Baldwin, Mary J Blige, Paul Giamatti and Julianne Hough.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Rock of Ages” tells the story, replete with hair-band music, of a small-town girl (Hough) who comes to Hollywood for the 1980s music scene and is nearly destroyed by it. Although she falls for a budding musician named Drew (Boneta), she also catches the eye of Stacee Jaxx (Cruise), an arrogant rocker at the height of his career, ends up as a stripper in a club run by Blige but also finds true love at the end.

2011 NBA Mock Draft Lands Alec Burks With the Charlotte Bobcats to Add Scoring Help

Sophomore shooting guard Alec Burks vaulted onto the scene this season by scoring 20.5 points a game. Last week he decided to forgo his last two years of eligibility and is in the draft.

The 6-6 Burks is very dangerous in the open court and can light up opponents in every conceivable way—except for one. He is atrociousness from three-point land, shooting under 30 percent during the season.

ESPN NBA draft expert Chad Ford writes about the big issue with Burks' game:

In a draft devoid of great shooting guard prospects, Burks offers a bit of a quandary. He has the requisite size and athleticism for the position -- but how interested are you in a shooting guard who can't shoot?

When Burks is at his best, he's slicing through defenses and finishing at the basket.

MUST READ: Top College Players That Will Not Get Drafted

If Burks can put in the endless amount of hours in the summer to find a three-point jumper...he is really going to be an explosive scorer in the league.

Good Fit or Bad Fit?

This is perfect fit in the draft.

The Bobcats are quite possibly the worst offensive team in the NBA. They need scoring help desperately and could use Burks right away. They are one of the stingiest defenses in the league, so he wouldn't be exposed by quicker opponents as he would on a team with a lesser defense.

The the right thing Bobcats, draft Burks.

Sacha Baron Cohen is preparing his next semi-improvised, semi-political comedy. The Dictator, which may or may not be inspired by Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator (bet on 'may') has Borat director Larry Charles set to direct from a script by Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer and David Mandel. The script, which has Sacha Baron Cohen playing dual roles, may or may not be followed to the utmost degree. Last week we heard about an actress shortlist [1] assembled as producers cast the film's female lead, and one of the primary concerns for the woman in question was an ability to improvise. So it isn't much of a surprise that Anna Faris got the nod. She's now negotiating a deal to appear in the film. Paramount had previously said The Dictator is "the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed. It is inspired by the best selling novel, Zabibah and The King, by Saddam Hussein." In reporting this casting negotiation Deadline [2] expands upon that quite a bit: [Sacha] Baron Cohen plays a ruthless dictator who heads to the U.S. for a meeting at the United Nations and finds that his number two has replaced him with an unsuspecting sheepherder lookalike. As the dictator wanders the city, he meets the owner of an organic food store... She turns around his dictatorial thinking, and there's a little romance in it as well. The organic shop owner would be Anna Faris, as you probably surmised. Reading that description it seems like this one might hew closer to the script than did either Borat or Bruno, but it is pretty tough to call how that's going to go. After Bruno I actually would be more interested in seeing Sacha Baron Cohen do some straight comedic or even dramatic roles (and am very much looking forward to seeing him in Martin Scorsese's Hugo Cabret) but as pairings go, the Cohen/Faris team might be pretty potent. She's so adorably disarming that she might be able to completely undermine the attack of some of his approach; if she forces him to think a little differently this time, that might not be so bad. As for the rest of the cast, Ben Kingsley will co-star [3] in the film as "one of two Middle Eastern characters who factor into the plot," with Jason Mantzoukas is (The League) in talks for the other role. [1] http://www.slashfilm.com/casting-notes-jane-lynch-in-the-three-stooges-kristen-wiig-a-front-runner-for-sacha-baron-cohens-the-dictator/ [2] http://www.deadline.com/2011/05/anna-faris-in-talks-to-star-with-sacha-baron-cohen-in-the-dictator/ [3] http://www.slashfilm.com/ben-kingsley-joins-sacha-baron-cohen-in-the-dictator/

One minute Jesse Eisenberg was a small-time actor in indie movies, the next he was starring in the film that defined a decade. He talks about life after The Social Network and why he'll never be comfortable with success

From a certain perspective, Jesse Eisenberg's acting career resembles a darkly ironic cosmic joke, with Eisenberg as the victim. The story goes like this: you are a shy and awkward child, deeply uncomfortable in your skin. Then, one day, you discover acting, which you find "enormously comforting". Performing a prescribed role soothes your paralysing self-consciousness; hiding inside a character, you get the attention you crave, minus the deer-in-the-headlights panic of trying to "be yourself". Unsurprisingly, you prove particularly good at portraying fiercely intelligent but emotionally semi-detached geeks, angry at the self-assured world from which they, like you, feel excluded. You do it so well that eventually, at 27, you're cast in one of the highest-profile Hollywood movies of recent years, starring as Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, for which you bag an Oscar nomination and justified critical acclaim. Which means that half your life, these days, is spent doing precisely what you'd fled into acting to avoid: being paraded around the movie-publicity circuit, not in character but as Jesse Eisenberg, put on the spot by talkshow hosts, stopped in the street by admiring fans and hassled by gaggles of journalists demanding that you tell them about yourself. No wonder you wear your hair in thick, curly clumps, almost down to your eyes: it's the only protection you've got left.

Not that Eisenberg is moaning about his situation. Arriving at a coffee shop near Grand Central station in New York, bike helmet in hand, he is on the contrary unfailingly courteous, posing patiently for photos with customers. ("Thank you, thanks for coming, thanks for doing this, thanks," he says to me as we sit down. This is supposed to be my line.) He is, of course, self-conscious about being so self-conscious, and so quickly grows uneasy talking about how much more he gets recognised in public since playing Zuckerberg: "Complaining about it is obnoxious, because it's the problems of the rich, you know, isn't it?" But it's clear he's deeply uneasy. "The thing I find most alarming," he concedes under questioning, "is that I've only been famous for three months, but it's been the three months [in which] anybody who didn't have a camera on their telephone before, now they do. So, in the subway, I'll turn around and see someone holding their cellphone up or their iPad and surreptitiously taking a picture of me, and it sort of feels... I mean, not to self-aggrandise, but it sort of feels like an attack. It's jarring." His eyes dart beneath his fringe. This is the final twist in the cosmic joke: Zuckerberg and Facebook may or may not be destroying our privacy, but The Social Network – which is in large part a meditation on that question – certainly seems to have ruined Jesse Eisenberg's.

It's a testament to Eisenberg's talent that so many of the characters he plays are of a piece, yet he never radiates the tedious Hollywood sense that he's just playing himself, or that he's a one-trick pony. His roles as the frustrated virgin Nick in 2002's Roger Dodger and as Walt, the furious and defensively contemptuous child of divorcing Brooklyn bohemians in 2005's The Squid And The Whale, seem in hindsight like logical forerunners of his portrayal of Zuckerberg, who channels similar resentments into billionairehood. (He also starred in two well-received 2009 comedies, Zombieland and Adventureland.) Eisenberg would probably sooner die than express the view that he ought to have walked away with Best Actor for his compelling performance in The Social Network, which manages to portray the Facebook founder as simultaneously intensely dislikable yet oddly heroic. But come on: in the absence of Oscar-bait period drama about a lovable British monarch, he surely would have done.

Following a brief detour to voice the part of a (geeky) pet macaw in the animated movie Rio, he can be seen next in the UK in Holy Rollers, directed by Kevin Asch, the true story of Hasidic Jews from Brooklyn lured into an Israeli ecstasy-smuggling ring in the late 1990s. Made before The Social Network, it's both less laugh-out-loud funny, and more engrossing, than its unpromising title suggests. Eisenberg plays Sam Gold, a 20-year-old whose naivety – at first, he thinks he's couriering medicine – makes him an easy target for smugglers who rightly predict that devout-looking men in black hats, long black coats and sidelocks are unlikely to be bothered by customs agents. The barriers that separate the youthful Hasidim from the New York that surrounds them aren't so different from those that separate Zuckerberg from Harvard's preppy elite. "It's different cosmetically, of course," Eisenberg says, "but it's still just a question of trying to bring some emotional realism to a character that's living in a very isolated world."

To research the role, he made multiple visits to Hasidic schools, and was given the barmitzvah that was absent from his secular Jewish upbringing. The seemingly isolated sect proved surprisingly welcoming. "They'd talk to me for hours and hours, and almost never question why I was there. One guy did ask, and I told him I was doing a role in a play – I thought if I said 'movie' it would lead to too many other questions – and he was, like, 'Oh. OK.' And that was it."

One might have assumed that someone as ill at ease in interviews as Eisenberg would clam up when asked to talk about himself; in fact, though, his dislike of such questions seems based more on the fact that he can't help but answer them candidly, in long, endlessly detouring flights of introspection. This isn't a matter of shtick; it's all real. Compliments seem genuinely to pain him ("The more people say nice things about me, the more I feel it's false," he told one interviewer). Being recognised in the street alarms him (though it has its upsides: "It makes you not want to do stupid movies, because you end up having to talk to people who like stupid movies," he has said). Success depresses him ("If you look at the movies that come out, most of them are bad, so it's not as if achieving some level of success means you get offered better roles, because frankly they don't seem to exist"); appearing on TV chatshows makes him paranoid ("I tend to feel I'm being mocked in some way"). He writes plays, with roles for himself, and there are plans to produce one of them in New York soon, but he worries that his writing might be rubbish and that nobody is willing to tell him.

Getting all this off his chest confers little relief, however, because then he just feels self-indulgent. When I point out that journalists, at any rate, prefer candid interviewees over hyper-controlled actors determined to give nothing away, he looks stricken. "But don't you think that's a good thing – saying less? Don't you think it's healthier than, you know, constantly revealing your deep fears? I mean, there's something almost more obnoxious in what I'm doing, isn't there, as though the world needs to hear all about my Jungian theories of myself? Right? I mean, wouldn't it be more respectful for me to say, 'This movie's so great! We're so excited that it's coming out in England'? Wouldn't it?"

Close family ties – plus the services of two therapists – are what seem to keep Eisenberg from drifting unrescuably into a vortex of anxiety and self-doubt. He was born in Queens, and his parents still live in New York; his younger sister Hallie, also an actor, appears in Holy Rollers. When we meet, he's en route to his weekly visit to his 99-year-old aunt, who lives uptown. His father teaches sociology in Brooklyn, and, unlike when he was a teenager, Eisenberg is now unembarrassed to discuss the fact that for two decades his mother worked as a children's party clown. "She didn't do my parties," he clarifies hastily. "That would have been strange. What she would do would be to barter with a local magician, so she'd do the magician's kids' parties for free. Although the magician cost a little more, so we had to give him a pie as well. To make it an equal transaction.

"Anyway, as you might imagine, she's very supportive of the arts. A lot of the things I do are so ridiculous, but not at all compared with what she's done. So that's nice... she knows what it's like to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable in order to entertain."

Eisenberg now lives in Chelsea with his girlfriend Anna – a 33-year-old executive at an arts education organisation who surpasses even him in publicity-shyness – in what he describes as "a very small apartment with no internal doors". They share it with a changing selection of troubled foster cats. (Eisenberg once said, presumably not entirely in jest, that he fosters new cats in proportion to how guilty or self-loathing he feels about each new professional success.) "Shanti has a neurological disorder," he says, describing the current residents, "and Snow Leopard has some kind of childhood trauma where he doesn't leave the closet. But they're so lovely. My job is a strange one, with no routine, so it's nice to have some kind of responsibility, even if it just means filling up two bowls."

Given Eisenberg's neurotic candour, it comes as something less than an enormous shock to learn that one of his next roles – after the crime caper 30 Minutes Or Less, due for US release this summer – is rumoured to be in Woody Allen's next movie, alongside Ellen Page, Alec Baldwin and Penélope Cruz. "The way he makes movies is so secretive, I'm not sure what the official status of that is," Eisenberg says. "But, yes, I am aware of it." Speaking of Page, the star of Juno, it turns out there is at least one identifiable upside to Eisenberg's new-found profile: he doesn't get mistaken for Michael Cera so much as he once did. "I guess, you know, I was in something that became part of the popular consciousness. So now," he adds, gnomically, "people mistake me for myself."

He is, he insists, less anxious than he once was. "I know some amazing actors who are not mortified every moment of the day," he says, hopefully, "so my feeling is that maybe you don't have to be a wreck to be good." But does he ever worry that successful therapy, or just growing older, might cause his anxieties to subside to such a point that he's no longer a virtuoso of on-screen awkwardness, too serene and comfortable with himself to portray discomfort and isolation so well? A flicker of a grin: "My therapist says I'm never going to get to that point, so I don't think it's going to be a problem."

And shortly thereafter he's back on the street, helmet strapped on, and launching himself off into the 42nd Street traffic, weaving perilously between cars and taxis, taking facefuls of exhaust fumes from buses – just another anonymous Manhattan cyclist, which is almost certainly exactly the way he prefers it.

Filed under: Movie News

Catherine Zeta-Jones has joined the cast of 'Rock of Ages,' as a brand-new character, a villainously conservative foe of rock n' roll who doesn't appear in the stage version.

Director Adam Shankman told Deadline, "We thought it would be fun to create a villain and a cultural discussion point. She's the Moral Majority person, kind of like if Tipper Gore and Anita Bryant had a love child in that era. To have a great actress who won an [Oscar] in this genre with 'Chicago' is wonderful."

She'll play the wife of the mayor of Los Angeles and (irony alert) belt out rock anthems like Pat Benatar's 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' and Twisted Sister's 'We're Not Gonna Take It.'

Yet to be cast: the role of the mayor and journalist Stacee Jaxx, who beds Tom Cruise's rocker character. Amy Adams had to pass because of her commitment to 'Superman: Man of Steel.'

The cast so far: Russell Brand, Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin and newcomer Diego Boneta.

[via Deadline]

Catherine Zeta-Jones hasn't been on screen in the past few years (her last film, Bart Freundlich's 2009 effort The Rebound, is still seeking distribution) but she is starting to get new roles. She'll be in Lay the Favorite with Bruce Willis, and now Adam Shankman has cast her as a new character in his film adaptation of the stage musical Rock of Ages. THR [1] reports that her character, created for the film, is the movie's villain. Mr. Shankman says, It’s a character that we only really came to in the last month... The character was invented to streamline the stories. He describes her as if "Tipper Gore and Anita Bryant had a love child. She is this hardcore, moral majority, arch-conservative  who wants to shut down rock’n roll in the great city of Los Angeles." (Catherine Zeta-Jones is no stranger to the musical, having won an Oscar for Chicago.) Rock of Ages stars Diego Gonzalez Boneta as an aspiring songwriter and musician who meets an LA newcomer (Julianne Hough). She also ends up entangled with arrogant rocker Stacee Jax (Tom Cruise). Alec Bladwin, Mary J. Blige, and Paul Giamatti are also in the cast, and they'll each get to sing their way through a selection of '80s hair-metal hits, power ballads and arena-rock staples. With Adam Shankman in charge the result probably won't be anything more or less than pretty spectacle, but if you go into it knowing that, Rock of Ages might provide a weird mix of '80s nostalgia and novelty fun. Catherine Zeta-Jones will sing Pat Benatar's 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' and Twisted Sister's 'We're Not Gonna Take It.' The latter is an ironic tune for a moral majority-type character to belt out, given that Twisted Sister was targeted by "parental concern" groups like Tipper Gore's PMRC in the mid-'80s. (Yep: people thought Twisted Sister was dangerous. Oh, the naïveté. Check out Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider testifying before the US Senate [2] in 1985. ) [1] http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/catherine-zeta-jones-joins-rock-180606 [2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7C5kj1VRIU

It’s another singing and dancing routine for Catherine Zeta-Jones. Deadline is reporting the actress will join the cast of “Rock of Ages” as a new role that has been created for the movie version. She will be playing the wife of the mayor of Los Angeles, a conservative character who wants to get rid of rock and roll. “There are so many plotlines in the piece, we thought it would be fun to create a villain, and a cultural discussion point,” said Adam Skankman, director of the film. “She’s the moral majority person, kind of like Tipper Gore and Anita Bryand had a love child in that era. To have a great actress who won an actress in this genre with ‘Chicago’ is wonderful.” It was also revealed she will take part and sing Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” and Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” Zeta-Jones won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role in 2003’s Broadway adaptation “Chicago.” She last appeared on film in 2009’s “The Rebound.” Deadline is also reporting the production is nearly completed with his casting for the film. Skankman still needs to cast a journalist and a mayor for the film. Actress Amy Adams previously turned down the journalist role, because her commitment to the upcoming “Superman” film. Other confirmed actors also include Tom Cruise, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta and Mary J. Blige. The film will be in theaters on June 1 next year.Source: Deadline

Those of you who know I’m a history nerd could probably have guessed that I’d approach Jack Dann for an interview sooner or later: he’s the guy, after all, who wrote The Memory Cathedral – A Secret History of Leonardo Da Vinci! Not only has he won the Nebula, the Aurealis Award, and The World Fantasy Award, he holds the title of Esteemed Knight in the Mark Twain Society.

Jack has been candid and funny and very revealing in this interview about his writing career, and I don’t want to keep you from him a second longer than necessary. So enjoy!

I’m a New York expat living in Australia. I sort of shuffle between our apartment in Melbourne and a small farm in a beautiful part of the country called South Gippsland. It overlooks the sea and a dragon-shaped landmass (and a national park) called Wilson’s Promontory. I live with my wife Janeen Webb, who is an internationally recognized critic, award-winning writer, and a retired university professor. I’ve been writing since the late sixties, and have written or edited over seventy-five books and a bunch of short stories. I’ve won a handful of awards…ach! This is boring stuff!

New and usually young writers tend to put all sorts of dashing things in their bios such as wrestling alligators in Florida and being soldiers of fortune in Algeria. They write that that they train Lipizzaner horses and have pedigreed Manx and Siamese cats that only meow in iambic pentameter. I thought it might be fun to reminisce about the mad old days, so here is some stuff I absolutely and positively would never put into my book bios:

I was…a door-to-door cable television salesman, lifeguard, law investigator, and a law school drop-out. I sold all my text books and became “a freelance writer” the day after Damon Knight accepted one of my stories for his Orbit anthology series. I’ve been a ghostwriter, soup distributor, and a carnival roustabout (that means I cleaned up elephant poo); and I’ve have had my share of nuts sending me death threats, mandalas, and Polaroid photos of their naked selves after they’d read my books. (And here I thought all along that I was writing light, frothy Runyonesque escapist fiction for sophisticates.)

I lived in a hotel in New York City immortalized by Donald E. Westlake—I remember that the doorman wore a tee-shirt and carried a baseball bat. I’ve had two advertising agencies, sat on the board of directors of a New York insurance company, failed at getting a job as a cab driver, worked with the late, great film director Nicholas Ray, and was one of the (God-forgive-me) pioneers in the early days of telemarketing. I was, for a while, the bull-moose loser of Nebula Awards. (Yes, I did win one!) I’ve been a marksman, window-washer, and a lousy jazz pianist. I can’t sing a note and I’ve always had cats as pets…only now we have a dog, a beagle called Bertie Beagleman, who does not respond to commands unless there is food involved: so I suppose I still have a cat of sorts.

Now that’s the kind of bio I don’t write anymore. (Here’s an official bio, from his site, if you want to compare.)

The project of the moment, the project I’m taking a break from to have some fun with this interview, is a book—or rather a series of books—that I swore I’d never write. I’m working on a—I guess one could call it a—fat fantasy series. Although I love fantasy, am a Tolkien reader and re-reader, and love the genre, I really don’t have time for the copycat run of fantasy novels, the badly reupholstered Tolkien knock-offs. I admire (and envy!) the brilliantly original fantasists such as George R. R. Martin, Mary Stewart, R. A. MacAvoy, Ursula K. LeGuin, and Phillip Pullman, but I figured that the big, cosmic, multi-book fantasy genre was just not for me.

Alas, that was a very bad thing for this writer to reveal to his very nasty, noncompliant, and treacherous unconscious. After bragging loudly that I would never ever write such a thing, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t look for ideas…they seemed to be landing all over me like sand-flies in summer.

This fantasy series is set in an alternate Renaissance universe and our universe… and characters can also come from different time periods, which they do! But it is a fantasy, as it assumes the Gnostic Gospels are real, and a number of the characters are angels and demons. Gabriel, for instance, is one of the protagonists.

I have multiple books on the go… I’ve just finished an anthology with Nick Givers entitled Ghosts by Gaslight; am copyediting a Borgo double, which will include my short novels The Economy of Light and Jubilee; compiling three new anthologies to take to publishers; writing the first book of the fantasy series—the book is tentatively titled Shadows in the Stone; doing preliminary work on a book about writing fiction; working with my bibliographer on a second edition of The Work of Jack Dann; some film stuff (no, I can’t discuss any of that yet); and…I think I’ll stop now. It’s hurting my head!

I started writing fiction with the aim of getting published around 1966, and sold my first story (with George Zebrowski) to a magazine called Anubis, which promptly went bust. (We later sold it to a hardcover anthology.) We went on to sell another collaboration to Worlds of If, which was the sister magazine to Galaxy; and that story, “Traps” was published in 1974. So I was in my late twenties. Influences? I’ll try not to bore the reader, but they include F. Scott Fitzgerald, Loren Eisley, J.G. Ballard, Thomas N. Disch, Philip K. Dick, Elizabeth Bowen, J.D. Salinger, Edgar Pangborn, Jerzy Kosinsky, Bradbury, Brian Aldiss, Marquez, Lem, Wells, Gene Wolfe, R. A. Lafferty, Stapledon, Huismans, Mark Twain, John Fowles. I could (but mercifully won’t) go on and on. But if I had to choose just two early influences, it would be Joyce’s A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye.

I do remember a specific moment when I decided to be a writer. I was in a terminal ward, as they didn’t expect me to survive, and I had a copy of Hemingway’s Down and Out in Paris on my bed table. I was too ill with peritonitis to read, but it became a sort of talisman as I swung back and forth between agonizing pain and the numbing, cold blue dreams induced by Demerol. I promised myself that if I survived, I was going to what I wanted to do: Write. That was over forty-five years ago.

(To get an idea of what I experienced, read my story “Camps”.)

I’m a writer, but that’s only a part of what I am. Sure, I could quit, but I don’t want to. It’s the best life I can imagine. I’ve spent a lifetime following my bliss, as Joseph Campbell would say, so I can’t complain. I’ve done other things—door to door salesman, principal partner in two advertising agencies, director of a New York insurance company—but I’ve always written, no matter what. That’s what I do, and, okay, I suppose in my secret heart of hearts (alas, no longer secret!), I am a writer, then everything else.

I began writing SF and fantasy, I grew up reading SF and fantasy, and although I write ‘across genres’, I keep going back to SF and fantasy, two genres I love. I write historical and contemporary novels…I write what interests me at the time, and right now, I’m doing what I swore I’d never do: that fat fantasy trilogy. Go figure!

I don’t believe in the idea of writer as ‘artiste’. When I had a family, and a six book deal went down the tubes, I became a door-to-door salesman, although I’d never sold a thing in my life. A cable salesman came to the door of my newly mortgaged house, and I made a deal with him: If he’d bring me into the cable company, I’d give him writing lessons. I took care of my family, and when I was making enough money writing, I became a full-time writer.

Every writer has to find his or her own path, and it’s always frustrating and difficult to balance art and craft and life. I tell young writers not to quit their day jobs. I tell them to get up early and write, to give yourself that time so the rest of the day can be given generously to all the other tasks of being a person living in the world. I believe that writers need experience…so learn things, take chances, get the best education possible, become streetwise, and don’t let anything get in the way of your writing. By that I mean, don’t make excuses. If you teach in a university, that’s great. But don’t allow that to become a substitute for sitting down to write. I edit anthologies because I love the process of finding new writers and wonderful work: It feels like writing, and gets me through the difficult stretches. But I keep writing, even if it means bumping up against one dead-end after another.

Frankly, those who really want to write will do so…and the rest will just make excuses…legitimate and rational excuses, but excuses just the same.

Oh, and lastly, I’m not good at balancing my life and my writing. I screw it up all the time. But I write!

You know what the real problem is? I need a few more lifetimes. I’m not a fast writer, and there are so many projects I have in mind. Right now I’m writing the fantasy based on the Gnostic Gospels. If I can stay alive and compos mentis long enough, there are dozens of novels I’d like to write.

I was lucky, as I began selling fiction immediately. I think that was a question of being in the right places at the right times. As I said, everyone’s path is different. I taught myself how to write by writing short stories…and the short stories kept getting longer and longer until I found myself just warming up around the hundred thousand word mark. Yes, there were big sacrifices, but I didn’t notice them until later. It’s romantic when you’re young to be living out there on the edge, not knowing where the next dollar might be coming from; but doing the hustle becomes more difficult as the years weigh down and the midriff bulges. I’ve spent my life living at two hundred miles an hour…with almost no regrets. (I used to say ‘no regrets’, but I’ve discovered you can’t really be alive and not have regrets.

I didn’t go to Clarion, although I’m a big fan and have been a tutor twice at Clarion South in Australia. But workshops were very important to my early growth as a writer. I was one of the original members of the Guilford Writers Workshop and later the Philford Writers Workshop. I wrote about that time in my collection of collaborative fiction entitled The Fiction Factory. Here’s a relevant bit from the book:

Gardner (Dozois) brought me into the Guilford Writers Workshop, which used to meet in Jack C. Haldeman II’s decaying four-story Victorian mansion in the Guilford section of Baltimore; and I became a regular member of the group called the Guilford Gafia (nicknamed after “The Milford Mafia,” which was what some people were calling Damon Knight’s and Kate Wilhelm’s now legendary Milford Writers Conferences). Our group comprised Jack and his brother Joe W. Haldeman, George Alec Effinger, Gardner, Ted White, Tom Monteleone, Robert Thurston, William Nabors, and myself.

Guilfords would last a weekend, a weekend of concentrated, exhausting work: staying up most of the night reading the stories to be workshopped the next day, then workshopping, reading, eating together, partying; we were creating our group mythology, creating fast friendships, as we honed our critical and writing skills. It was the Guilfords, and later the Philford Writers Workshops that paved the way for the frenetic, prolific, never-to-be-repeated Fiction Factory days of the eighties.

The Philfords included writers such as David Hartwell, Samuel R. Delany, John Ford, James Patrick Kelly, Timonthy Sullivan, Tony Sarowitz, Greg Frost, and Tom Purdom. And the “Fiction Factory” days that followed was the time I honed my short story skills and collaborated on short fiction with Gardner Dozois, Michael Swanwick, and Susan Casper. We were selling to the slicks such as Playboy, Penthouse, Omni, Oui, and actually making reasonable money for short stories. So, yes, workshops for me were an education. But many writers do not do well in a workshop environment. Depends on the writer. We all approach writing differently, reach our literary goals by weird and wonderfully circuitous ways, so what worked for me might be anathema for you.

I do remember a moment of artistic breakthrough…in fact, I remember a few. One will suffice. (Yes, gentle reader, you can breathe easier now.) I was writing my second novel, Junction, and I just could not find the right ending. I was thoroughly, completely, unreservedly blocked, so I read anything that felt somehow relevant to what I was working on; I chewed my fingernails, went to movies, took long walks; and finally was about to give it up and start another project. I remember taking a nap in the afternoon. I had pulled the drapes across the windows, yet I had not turned off the bare light bulb that hung over the bed. I remember being jolted awake by an explosion of light. Nothing miraculous had happened. The light was still on. I was staring up at it. But in that instant I saw the end of the novel, scene-by-scene in absolutely perfect detail. It only remained for me to write it down. Go figure.

I don’t know if that’s what you were asking. It’s probably not a breakthrough in the sense you meant it, but what the hell, it’s what came to mind. Ask me about Harlan Ellison and public speaking in another interview: now that was a breakthrough!

I think the big surprise was that publishers would buy my novels. I always had the sneaking suspicion that I was fooling them, getting another one past them…and other writers tell me that they feel the same way. We’re really all phonies, you know. Once the publishers realize that, the jig is up for all of us. The bad surprises? Ah, rejection…but then, as we all know, that really isn’t a surprise.

It still feels great. Which definitely proves that there must be something seriously wrong with me.

Originally published at A.M. Dellamonica. You can comment here or there.

Links to stories, eyewitness accounts and resources concerning Stumptown Comics Fest, held April 16 to April 17, 2011, at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland, Oregon. This entry will continue to be updated for as long as people ><><>& ***** Institutional * Convention * Location * Host City Audio * Chronicles Of The Nerds Blog Entries * Radio Isopod * Robot 6 * Stumptown Trade Review * The Uniblog * Thunder Echo Blog * Thunder Echo Blog 02 * Too Much Information Miscellaneous * CCS-Related Debuts * Damien Jay On Winning The Maisie Kukoc News Stories and Columns * Portland Mercury Interviews Sarah Glidden * Stumptown Comic Arts Awards Winners Photos * A Horrible Picture Of A Great Writer Twitter * #stumptown Video * Interview With Alec Longstreth ***** ><><>& ***** ***** *****

QUOTES of the DAY

“I’ve never seen the water this high at Great Falls.” — SBNation’s John Taylor in a weekend tweet.

“Day of beauty with Sara Libby” – Former Roll Call scribe Elizabeth Brotherton in a weekend tweet. Getting pampered above is Politico‘s Deputy Politics Editor Sara Libby.

A TV reporter vents about off-air idiots

“Why do people find it necessary to wave their arms and jump around during reporter live shots?” — ABC7′s Mike Conneen in a series of weekend tweets. More: “And chances are no one who knows you is even watching, just strangers who think you’re a tool.” And this: “I understand if you are trying to get on camera, even though you look ridiculous in the background.” And this: “But if you’re standing off camera and your intention is simply to distract a working reporter, that’s just rude!”

Gossip Girl contemplates feathers for WHCD

“Are feathers really out? The only #WHCD dress I found that I like has black feathers on it. #firstworldproblems.” — The Washington Examiner‘s Nikki Schwab in a weekend tweet.

Something to ponder…

“Is wondering if it’s possible to insert white noise into one’s brain?” — Publicist Wendy Gordon in a weekend tweet.

Intern is unraveling

“I MAY HAVE OPTED OUT OF THIS WHOLE COLLEGE THING HAD I KNOWN A THESIS WAS REQUIRED.” — FBDC intern Alec Jacobs at approximately 2 a.m. this morning. We regret his use of all-caps. But we’ll let it slide in this trying time. His thesis topic? “My thesis is on social media in political campaigns, specifically comparing how Republican presidential candidates use it in the upcoming primary compared to the 2008 primaries. Boooring,” he told me this morning. Uh oh…

Madden has turned into his father

“I’ve become my Dad. Find myself sayin stuff like: ‘Stop hearing me and start listening to me.’” — Conservative pundit Kevin Madden, a regular on the “Fox News Sunday” panel, in a weekend tweet.

Palm Sunday behavior

“Observing Palm Sunday with a ritual bath, guided meditation and massage. Amen.” — Elizabeth Thorp in a weekend Facebook update. Thorp runs Poshbrood.com, the upscale travel website. She also writes travel pieces for HuffPost.

Irritated journo

“So I keep on getting all of these notifications that erinmcpike.com is on the market, and it’s annoying me to death.” — RealClearPolitics‘ Erin McPike in a weekend Facebook update.

Host proposes sex to spice things up

“Well be back next week with more non-scintilating news for you. I think I’ll maybe try to find some more lively friends — a book about sex anyone?” — Syndicated columnist Llewellyn King in his sign off on Sunday morning’s WETA “White House Chronicle” program.

The Traffic Cop

“Lovely seeing @LobstertruckDC braving the rain on Inner Loop of Beltway this morning – obeying speed limit and driving safely.” — C-SPAN Communications Director Howard Mortman in a weekend tweet.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

David Bezmozgis's first novel has a welcome streak of cool irony

"Any work of art," David Bezmozgis told the New Yorker, "has to have at its core some kind of irretrievable loss." His assertion was made last June, after the magazine had judged him, on the evidence of a handful of published short stories, one of the 20 best writers under 40 years of age. The Free World, his first novel, complies admirably with his prescription. It's the story of the Krasnanskys, a family of Latvian Jews emigrating from Riga in 1978. Their irretrievable loss is, in a word, Latvia – everything they've experienced in the past, everything they've expected of the future. Bezmozgis's account of them begins on a railway platform in Vienna, where they struggle with a mountain of luggage and goods for sale, and ends five months later as they're packing up again in Rome, where they've been stranded in the interim, abandoned by their sponsor and obstructed by bureaucracy. Having set out for Chicago, they're now on their way to Canada. Although Bezmozgis doesn't say so, we can assume they get there, if only because his own family made that same journey in 1980, when he was six; and his first stories, the ones that so impressed the New Yorker, are about the Bermans, a family of Lithuanian Jews learning how to live in Toronto in the 1980s.

The Krasnanskys' problem is Samuil, their patriarch. A former Red Guard, Samuil suffers from hypertension, arthritis, and war wounds left by shrapnel and tuberculosis. Canada is not taking any invalids. Israel might, perhaps, but Samuil sets his face against Israel. So do Karl and Alec, his sons. Neither has any taste for orthodoxy, whether Hebrew or Soviet. Karl, the initiator of their uprooting and a born capitalist, sees the 500-ruble fee and the forfeiture of citizenship as investments, the price of a more comfortable future for himself, his wife Rosa and their sons. Alec is also accompanied by a wife, but he doesn't like to think about her too much, or indeed about anything that might interfere with the gratification of his own impulses. If Alec has any great objective, it's a country where "everyone – genius and idiot alike – was allowed to bumble along as he pleased."

Latvia, then, is lost, but at the same time, of course, Latvia is what the Krasnanskys bring with them, the women especially. Though Samuil is the doctrinaire communist, a "breathing archive" of progressive socialism, it's Polina, Alec's wife, who exhibits the actuality of Soviet existence. Preparing to say goodbye to her sister, perhaps forever, she arranges a meeting on a park bench, where, unobserved, they can agree the system of codenames they will use in case their letters are intercepted. In Vienna, thrilled and astonished by the unfamiliar colours of the clothes in the shop windows, she refuses to go in and try on a blouse for fear of damaging it.

In Rome, among the Jewish émigrés, Samuil makes a friend, a one-legged violinist and Ukrainian army veteran called Josef Roidman. On the 36th anniversary of the battle that cost him his leg, Roidman comes visiting with a bottle of cognac. "One has to remember to rejoice," he avers, "especially when everything is not going quite according to plan." At such moments you can feel the wisdom of Bezmozgis's habit of composing his shrewd, sonorous dialogue in Russian before translating it. Elsewhere he sounds more western, more analytical, skewering social attitudes with unexpected pairs of words, as when Alec notices the eyes of impoverished vendors at Rome's Americana market alight with "the fire of inventory"; or when Polina's first husband stoically abides the flirtatious exhibitionism of her younger sister "with the consummate face of the adult: distaste subjugated to obligation".

Another writer might have turned the Krasnanskys' plight into comedy, contriving farcical confusions across the barriers of language and culture, religion and generation. Bezmozgis's humour is more knowing; sardonic, even. Apart from the incident when Alec supposes their caseworker is leading him to her secret love nest, rather than, as it transpires, the briefing department of the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society, there's little here about misunderstanding. Instead, there are stories: a mighty harvest of anecdotes and vignettes from the migrant underworld. Here are the children so excited by the availability of bananas they eat themselves sick every day; the fat smugglers who carry jewels surgically implanted in their bodies; the packs of dogs, pets abandoned when visas arrived, gradually turning feral on the streets. Meanwhile the purgatory (Bezmozgis's own word) of the Krasnanskys' stasis provokes reminiscences. Piece by piece we are shown their histories: Samuil's path to righteousness; Polina's smothered hopes; Alec's sexual initiation by his brother's Indian girlfriend. Incidents recur from other viewpoints, gaining significance. In such disjointed conditions, it's hard to tell what's consequential and what, if you're lucky or cunning enough, can be ducked. When all else fails, Karl is good with his fists. The Free World may not have much of a plot, but it is heavy with the consciousness of time, the inevitability of crises. Bezmozgis has the knack of ending scenes, chapters, especially, at the perfect reverberant moment, plangent or ironic.

In a decrepit hostel in Rome, the migrants endure the nightly power cuts by congregating in the hallways and singing melancholy war ballads. Later many of them go to a local screening of Fiddler on the Roof, whose glib inaccuracies outrage Samuil, though Emma and Rosa watch entranced. Cool and reflective it may be, but The Free World is not a million miles away from Norman Jewison's film. Survival through social disintegration, inexorable, heartbroken prolificacy, and, yes, a core of irretrievable loss. I can hear the title theme now.

Colin Greenland's Finding Helen is published by Black Swan.

Russell Brand's dizzying rise from radio disgrace to Hollywood A-list could go into reverse as critics can his Arthur remake

Read Xan Brooks's two-star review

A huge advertising mural painted on the wall of an apartment building towered above the plush, restaurant-lined streets of Manhattan's Park Avenue last week. Staring down from it, lounging in a chair and with his trademark beard and straggly mop of hair, was a portrait of Russell Brand, the stand-up British comic turned fully-fledged American movie star.

It is hard to think of a more apt illustration for conquering America.

Brand's movies last weekend – the cartoon Hop, where he provides the voice for the lead character, and the remake of Arthur – occupied the top two spots in America. Not bad for a former late-night British TV star once best known for his lurid humour, drug addiction and penchant for one-night stands.

"He has arrived," said Hollywood celebrity interviewer Gayl Murphy. "He's got a great spiel and great charisma. We have only scratched the surface with him."

Certainly, Brand appears extraordinarily keen on securing the holy grail of British actors: cracking the US market and following in the footsteps of British TV comics Ricky Gervais and Sacha Baron Cohen in making an A-list name for himself in Hollywood.

At first glance he seems to be well on his way to achieving it. The marketing campaign for Arthur swamped the American airwaves. Adding to his high-profile relationship with pop singer du jour Katy Perry, Brand is now a familiar face to the American public from New York to Los Angeles and – most importantly – all the much smaller places in between. His next big Hollywood project, called Rock of Ages and set in the 1980s Los Angeles rock scene, is set for release next summer.

The roster of top-drawer talent Brand will find himself opposite in the film includes Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin and Paul Giamatti. What is more astonishing is that the West Ham fan as recently as 2008 appeared to have ended his career after playing a bad-taste prank phone call joke on Andrew Sachs.

However, his conquering of America is not yet assured. Arthur was intended as Brand's big solo role in Hollywood after doing well in two much smaller films, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek. But Arthur appears to be on the way to being a fairly spectacular dud.

Though it snagged second spot in the box office in its opening weekend it was at a quiet time for movies and it made just $12m, compared with a budget of $40m. Even Murphy, who admits to being a keen admirer of Brand, is scathing about the film's chances. "It is a complete bomb," she said.

The reviews have been scathing. "Russell Brand gives a career-killing performance," said New York magazine's respected critic David Edelstein. The Houston Chronicle's Pete Vonder Haar was even unkinder. "Make no mistake, people are going to hate Brand in this," he wrote.

Suddenly the all-conquering Brand juggernaut appears to have come screeching to a halt. Which raises the question: where does he go next?

Most Hollywood experts think Brand's performance in Arthur means studios will be unwilling to risk putting him front and centre in any big project. Richard Laermer, a pop culture expert and author of Trendspotting: 2011, thinks Brand made the classic mistake of trying to do too much too quickly. While Baron Cohen won plaudits in supporting roles before trying to become a major hit, Brand has been thrust into the spotlight too quickly.

"He's just been a vehicle for other people's ideas," Laermer says, suggesting it might be wise to take a step back towards his previous strengths of stand-up comedy and awards presentation and solid TV work. "He has to take a step back and say: 'What do I want to do?' He should do something on HBO or get a role in a Woody Allen film. Build something back up," he said.

Of course, reticence has never been a noticeable Brand quality; neither while he was starting out in Britain nor while trying to establish himself in America. Nor does Rock of Ages, which pitches Brand into the world of big hair and decadence, look a particular change of creative direction. Even his staunchest fans are urging him to alter course, seeing Arthur as a lost battle but still hoping he can win the wider war for American success and acclaim. "He should follow his creative heart and stop going for the big Hollywood money. Let him do something that is more about taking risks," says Murphy.

Russell Brand has joined the cast of Rock of Ages as Lonny, the guy who runs the '80s rock club The Bourbon.  Dennis (Alec Baldwin) owns the club and both Baldwin and Brand will sing a version of REO Speedwagon's Can't Fight This Feeling.

The film is based on the hit Broadway musical of the same name.  The musical pays homage to great '80s bands like Bon Jovi, Twisted Sisters, and Journey.

Brand worked with director Adam Shankman previously in Bedtime Stories.

In other casting news, Shankman was trying to get Amy Adams to join the film as a journalist who sings with Stacee Jaxx (played by Tom Cruise).  She will not be able to join the musical though as she has just been cast as Lois Lane in Man of Steel.

Rock of Ages co-stars Diego Gonzalez Boneta, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Mary J. Blige, Julianne Hough, and Paul Giamatti.

 

Pittsburgh CAPA senior Alec Chapman sat at the piano, running his fingers through a melody and talking about how great his school is.

In the 2011 NFL Mock Draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select Purdue Boilermakers defensive end Ryan Kerrigan with the No. 16 pick in the first round.

Last year, the Jaguars made people say "who who" when they drafted Tyson Alualu. That pick seemingly worked out very well for Jacksonville in the rookie's first season. This year, while many more people will be familiar with the name of Kerrigan, the team is hoping he can find similar success in his rookie campaign.

Kerrigan is an excellent pass rusher, which is an area where Jacksonville would like to upgrade, but he is also fairly stout against the run. He also led the nation in tackles for loss at Purdue last season, and possesses great speed on the end. He would be a natural with the rest of the Jags' defense up front.

ESPN NFL Draft analyst Todd McShay feels that the Jaguars may have bigger holes to fill, if Kerrigan is still on the board when they pick at No 16, they would be hard pressed to pass on drafting him.

"The Jaguars have bigger needs but defensive end offers the most value here," says McShay. "I would be tempted to take a shot on Bowers or the upside offered by Missouri's Aldon Smith here, but Jags GM Gene Smith has proved he will take the player with the higher floor rather than the higher ceiling. Kerrigan has some limitations but Jacksonville knows exactly what it would be getting, which is a player with the overall skill set to immediately push for a starting job opposite Jaguars DE Aaron Kampman."

After all, they signed Kampman to a big contract and have not yet received the benefits since they have nobody to help out on the other side. Kerrigan could be the player who finally helps the team justify that big contract.

If Kerrigan goes before the Jags pick, or if they decide to go in another direction, expect to hear the name of either J.J. Watt (Wisconsin), Da'Quan Bowers (Clemson), Aldon Smith (Missouri), Mike Pouncey (Florida), Corey Liuget (Illinois) or Cameron Jordan (California).

For more on the holes that the Jaguars need to fill most on draft day, make sure to check out Bleacher Report Correspondent Alec Dopp, who takes a look at the NFL Draft 2011: Jimmy Smith & 10 First Round Targets for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

In Boulder, Colorado, the Rockies are sheer and vertical, the food cheap, and Republicans pained

✒I am in Boulder, Colorado, again performing at the grandiosely named Conference on World Affairs which, as I may have said before, is basically a piss-up with speeches. But terrific speeches delivered by people who know what they are talking about, and if they don't, are clever enough to ask the right questions. Last year 92,000 people came to the 200-plus events. This year almost every panel seems to be packed. Helped by the fact that it is all free.

Boulder is one of those university campus towns you get in the American west, a small island of liberalism and bookshops at the very edge of the Rocky mountains.

I'm staying with my old friend Alec, with whom I've lodged most years for more than a decade. The mountains begin, sheer and vertical, from behind the fence at the back of his backyard.

✒On Sunday I went to the Boulder bookstore, all warm and cosy and welcoming, with the smell of freshly baked muffins wafting from the cafe. Outside the bright sunshine had been replaced by a ferocious, scouring hail. In the store they have a huge selection of books all arranged over endless floors, mezzanines and little nooks, as if by a mad bibliophile living in a Victorian country house. You can see little old ladies creeping around, jotting down the names of the books they want, before going home to order them on Amazon.

Then to Peppercorn, the greatest cookery store I know. Here, among the Belgian chocolates, the rare Asian ingredients and enough knives to kit out the Japanese army, they sell things you really didn't know you needed, such as a plastic half-banana holder, for when you want only half a banana and don't want the other half to rot. Nigella gazed beguilingly up at me from one of the scores of cookbook tables, so I felt right at home.

Finally, brunch at the Boulder Cafe. Salmon hash with poached eggs, followed by a soft apple pie fragrant with cinnamon, vanilla and cream. All for a ludicrously small price and the attentions of a polite and helpful waitress. British people sometimes say that "have a nice day!" is meant insincerely, and it's true that she didn't call that night to find out if I actually had had a nice day. But I don't care. I'd rather that than the surly British "not another customer" attitude you often find.

✒The centrepiece of the conference is the annual jazz concert, in which leading professional musicians of astonishing talent play – again, for free. Jazz musicians have a rueful, self-deprecating sense of humour. One of them told the joke about the young woman walking through a wood. Suddenly she comes upon a talking frog. "I used to be a top international jazz musician," he tells her, "until a wicked promoter turned me into a frog. If you kiss me on the lips, I'll turn right back."

So she stuffs him into her handbag and zips it up. "Wharra oo doin'?" comes the muffled voice inside.

"Are you crazy?" she replies. "Do you think a top international jazz musician is worth more than a talking frog?"

✒On a panel about gun control – not a hot topic in liberal Boulder, where they're all in favour – Terri Burke, who runs the American Civil Liberties Union in Texas, not an easy job, told a story about the legislature. They installed airport security machines at all four main doors.

But members, journalists and lobbyists didn't want to get stuck behind 200 fifth-graders on a school trip, so they asked to be able to use some kind of ID to bypass the queues. Which they did: you needed your Texas licence to carry a concealed weapon. At least you didn't have to take the weapon in, but presumably you could.

✒There are Republicans in Boulder, but they tend to keep quiet about it. When forced out, people are tolerant, even kindly, though of course you can easily wind them up by asking them who they think should be their candidate for president next year. This generally induces a look of pained puzzlement and some meaningless reply, such as: "I hear good things about Mort Stuffenbacker, he used to be lieutenant governor of Nebraska …", or: "You know, if it was up to me, I'd go for Bill Nadge. He was mayor of Dogsbreath, South Dakota, until last year. There was a scandal about an underage girl, and he is only 4ft 11in tall, but he's sound on the economy."

Meanwhile Barack Obama has launched his re-election campaign, and is looking for the largest sum of money ever raised by a candidate – $750m (£463m). Republicans are claiming he wants a billion, but that's to scare their own supporters into coughing up more. If he did raise $1bn, that would work out at around $4.50 per adult, and around $9 for every person who actually votes, sums unimaginable to us.

✒The death of local newspapers has driven the internet to become more and more local. Patch.com offers the news even your neighbourhood rag would regard as too trivial to publish. It doesn't yet cover all states, but it's getting there.

The news is dizzingly small-time. I liked this post from a tiny place in Washington state: "Firefighters responded to a call from a man who had seen a house on fire. On arrival they could not locate the fire. On calling the reporting party back, he said he could no longer see the fire. Firefighters returned to station."

✒More wacky labelling. Imogen Burman bought a face flannel at Homebase. It warned: "Carelessness causes fires." She asks: "How careless do you have to be to have a face flannel combust?" Tom Maxwell bought a packet of euros at the post office. It read on the side: "Have a great holiday from everyone in the Post Office." "Comma needed, I think," he writes.

Great new commercial from New Era featuring New York Yankees fan Alec Baldwin and Boston Red Sox fan John Krasinski.

Author: Jonathan Weldon

On road trips as a child my dad would frequently joke that if we drove long enough we’d eventually find a pledge drive on a local NPR station. Later in life, when I traveled extensively for my job, I’d call him when the town I was visiting was in pledge and my wife, who travels for her job, loves to do the same with me.

Personally, I love pledge drives, (no not because I’m hoping to complete my collection of NPR Travel Mugs) but because there are so many great examples and unique ways that the Public Media stations are reminding, sometimes imploring listeners, to support the amazing work they do. By no means is this an exhaustive collection, but here are few favorite examples that I've seen recently.

Clearly we have to start with the Alec Baldwin pledge drive promos that hit the air in 2010. According to the website, “Alec Baldwin told producers at WNYC that he'd be willing to do some promos for the upcoming Fall pledge drive, and suggested getting Ira Glass involved. So Ira and David Krasnow and Rex Doane wrote and produced several spots featuring Alec and a bunch of public radio hosts and announcers.” If you haven’t heard these yet, they are flat-out hilarious. But the beauty is they gave NPR a great way to make fun of themselves, all while still making a larger point: Support your local NPR station.

Speaking of local NPR stations, my station KUT-FM, did a great job of promoting sustaining giving during their most recent pledge drive. We all know the importance of building a strong base of sustaining givers but for many organizations, the question is how. Part of KUT’s answer was to promote it heavily on-air, in their direct mail efforts and online, but here was the kicker for me. They are entering sustaining donors into any and all drawings for the rest of the year. So anytime KUT runs a promotional drawing, their sustaining givers will be automatically added. The idea was a huge hit as they added a large number of sustaining givers to their membership (my wife and I included in that group).

As for a totally new idea and not technically in pledge, as far as I know, KQED is the first and only station to offer a GroupOn to build their membership base. I’ve reached out to the team that implemented this offer for additional details but haven’t heard back by ‘press time’. Despite that, what I do know is they have 531 new members from the offer! Considering the list file that GroupOn possesses, as well as their web traffic, in my opinion this was a great way of building their membership base leading up to their pledge drive.

So are there any amazing Pledge examples that I missed or should know about? And I can’t be the only person who loves pledge drives so let me know what you love (or hate) about pledge drives.

We don't need to belabor Lindsay Lohan's decision-making skills.

But with all the necklace swiping and family infighting going on, it seems like there's never time to talk about Lohan's career (she's an actress, if you've long forgotten what got us here in the first place).

Well, we're taking the time.

And here's why: left to her own devices, Lohan has been pursuing the wrong roles.

It's not time to play a porn star. It's not time to play a zombie. It's not time to play one of Charles Manson's murder victims.

It's time, Lindsay, to remind America that you can act. The reruns of "Mean Girls" have carried this load alone long enough.

Don't let those "Superman" talks get away.

Lohan lost out to Amy Adams for the role of Lois Lane in Zack Snyder's "Superman" reboot. But now she's reportedly reading for the role of a villain, which might be even better.

Keep an eye on Kristen Stewart.

There are currently two "Snow White" star-studded adaptations coming together in Hollywood, and though "Twilight" heroine Kristen Stewart has long been in talks to play the title role in one of them, she could still theoretically back out. Which means Lohan could still step in.

Get in on the "Rock of Ages" circus.

This Broadway musical adaptation has dominated casting news for the past several months -- it stars Russell Brand, Tom Cruise, Paul Giamatti, Alec Baldwin, Julianne Hough, and Mary J. Blige. It would do Lohan well to align herself with a great ensemble and a ton of buzz -- and as we recall, she can sing.

View more at Business Insider

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See Also:

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• Charlie Sheen Wants To Copyright "Tiger Blood" -- And 9 Other Trademark-Happy Celebrities

Baldwin told New York, "I will tell you one thing, And that is our show next year is our last year of the show." He also said, "Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great." Baldwin himself has said he's leaving the show then, but unnamed insiders denied the show would end with his departure. (The fate of Joan Of Snark is also up in the air.) More »

Post by Linda Sharps

Earlier this week Alec Baldwin was at some NYC fund-raising gala when he let a big secret slip about the future of 30 Rock. Asked whether he planned to follow in Tina Fey's shoes and write a book, he teased, "I will tell you one thing ..."

Then he dropped the bomb:

"And that is our show next year is our last year of the show."

He went on to explain that their contracts expire in 2010, and that Tina Fey will surely be moving on to directing films and writing.

Is it just me, or should this news have been delivered tenderly, via important network executives, with great explanation and apology so as to not upset the fans? Because the idea of next year being the last season of this fantastic show makes me feel extremely BLERG.

Instead, Baldwin just tossed it out there like it's NO BIG DEAL.

(You think he was drunk?)

If this is true, here's what I'm wondering:

• Will there be a spinoff show? With Tracy Jordan, maybe? Or Kenneth? Or, like, EVERYONE?

• Will Dealbreakers be made into a real thing? Please say yes.

• Just how crappy is NBC comedy going to be with no 30 Rock and a no-Steve-Carell Office?

• What will we all do without our weekly addition to the pop culture lexicon? Like Horseville. As in, "What is this, Horseville? 'Cause I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!" -- Tracy Jordan

Seriously, I'm super bummed about the possibility of the show coming to an end next year, although god knows it's better to go out on a high note while things are still funny. I'm looking at you, Scrubs.

What do you think about 30 Rock ending next year?

Image via NBC

Still like the show, but feel it's lost a tiny bit of it's punch. http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/04/alec_baldwin_30_rock_ending.html Alec Baldwin Says 30 Rock Is Ending Next Season Last night at the National Dance Institute's annual fund-raising gala, Alec Baldwin was honored for his commitment to the art and culture of New York City. Before he got onstage, the 30 Rock star (who's about to co-star in Adam Shankman's musical Rock of Ages) chatted with Vulture about his own dancing abilities ("I was not a lithe, supple dancer [in high school]. My brother Stephen was a great dancer") and Donald Trump's potential bid for president ("The Republicans have to get serious, and that's not a serious choice"). And then, when we asked a last, unrelated question about whether he'd follow Tina Fey's lead and write a book, he dropped a bomb. "I will tell you one thing," he said. "And that is our show next year is our last year of the show." Though Baldwin has made no secret of the fact that he plans to leave 30 Rock in 2012, this was the first time we've heard that the show itself would close up shop, too. But Baldwin says it's a done deal that Fey will be leaving. "Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great." Reps for Fey and the show declined to comment. .

According to DarkHorizons.com, Alec Baldwin recently revealed that NBC's hit comedy '30 Rock' wil end next season. Baldwin revealed I will tell you one thing, and that is our show next year is our last year of the show. Our contracts are expired in 2012, and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great

Vulture caught up with "30 Rock" co-star Alec Baldwin at the National Dance Institute's annual fund-raising gala last night where the actor said that he thinks the show is ending next season. "I will tell you one thing," he said. "And that is our show next year is our last year of the show." Baldwin added, "Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great." NBC and Tina Fey have not commented on Baldwin's quotes.

Jack Donaghy has one more season to get to the top of Kabletown.

Speaking to NY Magazine's Vulture blog on Tuesday, the "30 Rock" star said that the Emmy-winning comedy is entering its final season, and would end in 2012.

"I will tell you one thing, and that is our show next year is our last year of the show," Baldwin said "Our contracts are expired [in 2012], and Tina [Fey] is gonna have a big career directing films and writing. She's going to be the next Elaine May. She'll be great."

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"Dust" Edition
*

Lona Manning at Aamerican Thinker:

"Another one bites the dust... Curious, isn't it, how many of Sarah Palin's MSM critics have undergone significant career setbacks in the past year. The cool people, the smart people, the ones in the know. One after another, heading for the exits. The latest is Katie Couric. Then there was Kathleen Parker. Rick Sanchez was not a fan of women with large families in public life. Keith Olbermann - ‘nuff said. David Shuster. Make that David 'Sarah Palin has no future' Shuster."

Elspeth Reeve at The Atlantic Wire:

"The Media Is Rooting for a Palin-Bachmann Rivalry..."

Headmistress, zookeeper at The Common Room:

"Package sizes are shrinking again, meaning you get less for your money. The NYTimes apparently thinks this is news - citing as an example the way a can of tuna fish has recently shrunk from 6 to 5 ounces - something that happened more than a couple years ago. Sarah Palin already pointed this out, and was foolishly contradicted by political pundits in the MSM as well as blogs. Those of us who buy our groceries already knew it."

Rob Port at SayAnythingBlog.com:

"Sarah Palin Was Right About Inflation..."

Ed Morrissey at Hot Air:

"Shocker: Inflation is back, wages falling behind... What a surprise! Who could have predicted this? Well, Sarah Palin for one, who predicted it last fall and got a round of laughter from the media for her insight. Palin warned that the weakening of the dollar through the Fed’s second round of quantitative easing would create an inflationary pressure that would hit families hardest. In this case, the culprit is mainly fuel prices. Last month, prices shot up faster than any time in the past 36 years, thanks to a spooked spot market and widespread unrest across the oil-producing nations. Palin and plenty of others have also warned about this in relation to America’s energy policy and the obstruction of domestic production. Energy costs are multipliers in the distribution chain, as prices rise at every stop because of the added costs of transport."

Jedediah Bila via Twitter:

"Energy will be a key issue in 2012 presidential election. Gee, I wonder who could tackle that best? Gosh, that's a tough one."

Pete Formiller Madison.com:

"A recent study by economist Gary Richardson of the University of California-Irvine... found that Alaska gets $1.64 back for every dollar it sends to Washington. It appears that Sarah and her fellow Alaskans are laughing all the way to the bank. Compare these lucky Alaskans to the intellectual aristocrats at Harvard who ridicule Palin's makeshift education. Massachusetts only gets back 82 cents for every dollar it pays. (For you Harvard grads who majored in liberal arts, 82 is exactly half as much as 164.) Now who looks stupid? Not Sarah Palin."

Doug Powers at MichelleMalkin.com:

"In 2008 [Roger] Simon & friends were too busy digging into Sarah Palin’s qualifications to be a heartbeat away from the presidency to worry about sorting through Obama’s qualifications to be president."

VotingFemale:

"Obama has a strange way of ‘Closing Guantanamo Bay,’ eh, Michael Moore? ... It must drive Michael Moore out of his mind to realize what is about to happen... What’s next Obama? A Koran Burning in the Rose Garden? Anything to gain back the Independent Voters who put you in office and then, influenced by Sarah Palin and the Tea Party, handed you a total 'shellacking' last November at the polls. What is a Socialist Extremist President to do when the chips are down? Why, pander pander pander of course!"

Hollywood Outbreak:

"DVD Releases – April 5TH, 2011... Sarah Palin’s Alaska was a beautiful travelogue of Alaska demonstrated by the outside activities of the former Vice Presidential candidate."

Tina Fey via USA Today:

"Some may argue that exploiting Governor Palin and her family helped bring attention to my low-rated TV show. I am proud to say you are wrong. My TV show still enjoys very low ratings. In fact, I think the Palin stuff may have hurt the TV show. Let's face it, between Alec Baldwin and me there is a certain fifty percent of the population who think we are pinko Commie monsters."

George Rogers Clark at The Patriot Post:

"Who will be our next President? I believe it should be Sarah Palin. I believe it can be Sarah Palin. I believe there is strong support for that result among the grassroots now, and that it will spread to a broader base soon enough."

Tony Katz at Pajamas Media:

"It’s obvious that there are still many in media who are simply frightened by the possibility of a Palin run. Why else would networks go to such great lengths to marginalize their potential candidacy? ... You can not count out Sarah Palin. For whatever you might think of her personally or politically, you must recognize that she takes everything thrown her way and comes out on top. It has been three years of non-stop bashing and verbal beatdowns, and she still maintains a solid, ravenous fan base... Do not count out Sarah Palin. Ever."

Patrick S. Adams at Patricks World USA:

"Sarah Palin may have been caricatured as a dummy that could see Alaska from her house. But they have the real fool who can see socialist Utopia from his penthouse suite in Rio de Janeiro."

Stephen C. Webster at The Raw Story:

"President Barack Obama came to office on a tide of voters eager to see a change in more than just the White House's occupant. Two years into his presidency -- and one day after he launched his 2012 reelection campaign -- and even some of his most ardent supporters are having trouble coming to terms with the answer to Sarah Palin's 2010 question: 'How's that hopey, changey stuff working out?' Polls show that less than half the country believes President Obama deserves reelection, with disaffected liberals now a fast growing demographic."

- JP

Anthony Grafton

Many observers are worried about the latest skirmish in the battle to destroy American higher education, which involves the distinguished environmental historian William Cronon at the University of Wisconsin. As has now been widely reported, on March 17, Stephan Thompson—an operative for the Republican Party of Wisconsin—used the state’s Open Documents law to demand copies of all emails to and from Cronon since January 1 that mention Wisconsin governor Scott Walker or any of a number of other words related to the state’s recent labor debates. Professor Cronon had written critically on his blog Scholar as Citizen of Wisconsin Republicans’ recent efforts to curb the rights of state workers, and Thompson clearly hoped to catch him using his university email to engage in pro-union or pro-Democratic politics, which would violate state law.

As the Cronon controversy has swirled and grown—a conservative group in Michigan has made similar requests for academic email from labor scholars at three universities in that state—some basic points risk being lost. The first is that Cronon himself is the last scholar one would expect to become a flash point for political debate. He’s not the Eastern liberal typically evoked in polemics about the radical professoriate, but a Midwestern “pragmatic centrist,” best known for deeply researched and elegantly written books. Cronon grew up in Wisconsin and chose to return and work there as an adult. Among historians he is chiefly known for his great generosity as a teacher and a colleague.

Indeed, the blog post that started the dispute was not an attack on conservatism but a plea for civility. In it, Cronon examined the American Legislative Exchange Council, a conservative organization that drafts model bills for legislators around the country and which he suggested had helped galvanize Wisconsin’s Republican legislators to attack public service unions. Professor Cronon took characteristic care to describe ALEC as a legitimate political organization. What bothered him was the secrecy with which it operated and the radicalism of the attacks it had fostered on another set of legitimate organizations, the unions. He urged his fellow citizens to work in the open and in a civil manner:

I see my state being ripped apart by the resulting controversies, and it’s hard to believe that Wisconsin is better off as a result. This is not the way citizens or politicians have historically behaved toward each other in this state, and I for one am not happy with the changes in our political culture that seem to be unfolding right now.

The way in which the Republicans chose to reply exemplified the new key of Wisconsin politics—and neatly confirmed Cronon’s thesis.

The tumult and the shouting have also obscured a second crucial point, that Freedom of Information Acts, as Cronon himself states, are precious tools of American democracy. And anyone, as the Republicans claim, has the right to invoke them. But that doesn’t mean that it is always right—ethically right, for example—to do so. Again and again in recent times, Republican operatives have used fragments snatched out of context from emails—as they have used fragments snatched out of context from recorded conversations—to smear scientists, scholars and activists of whom they disapprove. There is every reason to assume that the Wisconsin Republicans are demanding these mails not because they seek to ensure “accountable government” but because they hope to find dirt—or something they can portray as dirt. That’s not the kind of accountability that Freedom of Information Acts were written to promote.

A third point is the most important of all. Since the modern university took shape in the late nineteenth century, professors in many fields have done research and taught—but also offered arguments in the public sphere, using their expertise as scientists or scholars to shed light on issues that affect the general welfare. In some notorious cases, university authorities, official or unofficial, denounced these activities. Mrs. Leland Stanford Jr., for example, insisted in 1901 that the sociologist Edward Rogers be dismissed from Stanford for taking Progressive stands on various issues. In 1894, by contrast, the Wisconsin State Board of Regents refused to discipline or dismiss the University of Wisconsin economist Richard Ely, whose support for the rights of workers had offended some. In words of which the university is justly proud, the regents declared that academic comment—even polemical comment—formed part of the necessary process of
“sifting and winnowing” by which public debate should be conducted.

More recently, academics have gone public to reveal the disappearance of the ozone layer and the rise of global temperatures, to denounce the commercialization of Civil War battlefields and to criticize—and to support—the Iraq War. Doing this properly isn’t easy. Scholars and scientists, of course, have all the same rights as other citizens: they can enter debates, join political organizations and work for campaigns. But when they enter the public sphere in their special capacity as acknowledged professional experts, they bear special responsibilities: they’re not acting as ordinary citizens, nor as pundits who are ready to pronounce on anything. They should be real experts on the problems they attack. They should acknowledge their own fallibility and the provisional character of the knowledge they rely on. They should expect contradiction, both from other experts and from those whose interests they cross, and maintain civility amid the eldritch yips and guttural growls of American public debate. And the conclusions they put forward must be the ones that their expertise dictates, whether or not they find these pleasing.

It’s a little bit like being a Raymond Chandler detective. You go out into the mean streets, armed only with knowledge and determination, knowing that you can easily be wrong, and grimly aware that your only reward for being right may be a blow on the head. It’s a great, quixotic part of the vocation of science and scholarship. That’s why universities have come to agree that honest public interventions are a legitimate part of academic work, and why they do their best to protect those who engage in them from personal and political attack.

William Cronon’s intervention met these criteria, as those who know him and his work would expect. He knew ALEC and its work from previous encounters, since it has regularly opposed legislation to protect the environment. He offered his readers not polemic but instruction: a “study guide,” in the form of an outline of some of ALEC’s activities and a multitude of links for those who wanted to know more about them. And he did so, as he made clear, in the service not of one party but of the political traditions of his state.

The University of Wisconsin—the official “record holder” responsible for producing Cronon’s emails—has now answered Thompson’s request. The university handed over some mails, but held back those related to students, professional organizations and personnel matters, as well as “Intellectual communications among scholars.” And it has made clear that the attack on Cronon was baseless. John Dowling, the university attorney who wrote the reply to Thompson, offers a clear verdict: “the e-mails that we have reviewed contain absolutely no evidence of political motivation, contact from individuals outside normal academic channels or inappropriate conduct on the part of Professor Cronon. The university finds his conduct, as evidenced in the e-mails, beyond reproach in every respect.”

Biddy Martin, the University chancellor, has issued a separate statement. She carefully explains the university’s response. She defends the faculty’s need for privacy in communication. And she urges them to “Continue to ask difficult questions, explore unpopular lines of thought and exercise your academic freedom, regardless of your point of view. As always, we will take our cue from the bronze plaque on the walls of Bascom Hall. It calls for the ‘continual and fearless sifting and winnowing’ of ideas. It is our tradition, our defining value, and the way to a better society.” It’s wonderful to see a university stand up for its core values in this way, and to hear such straight talk from a university leader.

One challenge to academic freedom and open public debate has been beaten back. But others are coming. Let’s hope that other universities emulate the model of transparency, firmness and civility that the University of Wisconsin—and Cronon—have created.

***** By Tom Spurgeon * these are notes jotted down during, around and concerning my participation in Industry at the Center For Cartoon Studies (CCS) in White River Junction, Vermont. * let's face it: CCS is located in the ass-end of nowhere. Any connection it has to the civilized world is wildly overstated. As CR operates in a desert-town equivalent of its White River Junction, getting to CCS took two days: a three-hour drive to El Paso the day before because the day-of shuttle doesn't get there before my flight leaves, an overnight stay in a hotel within sight of North American happy-town Juarez, a two-hour flight to Dallas, a three hour flight to Boston, a long shuttle bus drive to a town near White River Junction, and a short car ride from friendly Jon Chad (above) and Colleen Frakes to the town itself. I once went from Chicago to Rome in what seems like less time and certainly fewer changes of seats. That's the transportation grid post-9/11, though: expensive and long from any place that is not a direct hub to a direct hub. If you want yet another reason why regional cons are becoming of greater and greater importance, spend one of those 15-hour days moving in plodding fashion through America's airports, bus systems and highways. * any travel is worth it, of course. My only suggestion is that anyone going from outside of the region might want to build an extra day into any trip to CCS because of the relative length of time you might need to get there. You want to make a trip to CCS if you have an excuse for doing so. I was really honored and pleased to be among those invited in for their yearly Industry Day, held on March 31. I had a great time. Surely comics is as alive in this out-of-the-way small Vermont town as in any comics community on the planet (Frakes estimated the community's overall size at about 60). For this most ephemeral and disposable of art forms, White River Junction is one of those places where working, thinking about, practicing comics dominates and changes lives. It's hard not to be excited just being there, on the ground. * I have a personal soft spot for CCS as well, in great part because James Sturm first publicly announced his intention to open a school in the pages of our long-ago Comics Journal interview -- an interview otherwise best known and in much less savory fashion for James drawing himself naked on the front cover. * reflecting on my way out, I remember that the interview with James was conducted after I had moved to Silver City, New Mexico. This means that James has gone on this entire, multiple-person, life-altering journey while I've made almost no significant life changes whatsoever. Everyone in alt-comics secretly hates James Sturm some variation of this reason: while you're making incremental changes in your daily habits, James Sturm is creating institutions that change the directions of other people's lives. Luckily, he's also too nice to remember to hate him in person. * my room was in the Coolidge Hotel, as I'm pretty sure most of the school's guests are. It's a block away from the school. It's a nice, older hotel, of the kind you still find in a lot of small North American downtowns. The room was reasonably large, featured sealed windows and offered up an electric fan in the clothes bureau. The cable TV lacked ESPN but had a channel where Boston radio personalities are filmed discussing more regional sporting issues. Someone suggested that over half the rooms in the hotel are given over to permanent residents, but it didn't feel like that kind of place at all. When they were bored, the front-desk employees seemed to make use of the lobby Internet. It was a laid-back place. * I stepped over to the school on Thursday just in time for some sort of bagel-driven mixer, in a front room that contained an exhibit of Vermont cartoonist laureate James Kochalka, who with the possible exception of Reed Whittemore is surely the only laureate of any kind to pen rock songs about his wiener. James' originals are modestly sized and crisp-looking, and I derive a lot of pleasure out of looking at James' art in just about any format. * we had a good time on the morning's industry panel, the main reason by a factor of one million I was brought to Vermont. On the panel were Charlie Kochman of Abrams, Barry Matthews and Leon Avelino of the excellent boutique comics alt-publisher Secret Acres, and agent Bernadette Baker-Baughman, who recently moved from her own agency in Portland (Baker's Mark) to be a part of one with offices in New York City and the Hudson Valley (Victoria Sanders). * these were all-new panel people for me, by which I mean I'd never been on one with any of them before, and hadn't seen them speak at any length from a seat in the audience. I didn't know Leon and Barry at all, could boast of only a tiny bit of familiarity with Charlie, and had met Bernice once five years ago at a First Second dinner in San Diego. Thankfully, all four were whip smart, articulate and funny. I'm certain there were people in the audience who counted each one as a personal favorite; there were no weak links. My goals going in were to keep the conversation moving between the various audience members, focus on the positive (because there are definitely positives right now, and because it's easy to slip into scorched-earth mode when discussing the state of the industry) and accentuate any practical information that might be available to the students. I had a great time, and I hope it provided some insight for the students into how things work in a way they don't have to be intimidated, anxious or afraid moving forward. * I also personally learned a lot. A few things that I don't think anyone would mind me share included:+ the trouble at the Borders bookstore chain has been a punch to the heart of the book publishing industry's culture, an event so big that it's marshaled not only the appropriate response to its inherent and obviously major implications but has seemed to have let loose a torrent of pent-up worry about the changing nature of publishing. + Kochman met Jeff Kinney when Kinney handed Kochman one of several packets he made of the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid material, at the very first New York Comicon. Kinney's an example of someone who approached Kochman in proper manner at one of the shows: engaging him at a time during the show where Kochman wasn't too busy, with professionally prepared material that was ready to be published rather than in some early stage of preparation. Kochman was far more bullish than the Secret Acres guys about using appearances at shows to take on material for consideration and to generally meet new artists. Leon and Barry would rather find material on their own or receive it in a way they have a paper trail to follow back to the cartoonist -- as they also have a commercial interest at conventions in terms of moving books, their reticence to look at work for publication right there on the floor seems reasonable to me. I mention this not because there was a lot of drama involved, but it was one of the few cases where there was a clear distinction in practice. An amazing thing about the panel general is how much common ground the panelists were able to stake out in pretty rapid fashion. + someone actually sent Charlie a shoe when applying for a position with Abrams, a shoe that included a note that said the sender "wanted to get a foot in the door." Besides making a roomful of students groan at the idea, and being a sterling example of the fine American tradition of prop comedy, the move didn't seem to do the applicant much good. There was a bit of talk about professional conduct by cartoonists and other folks that indicated there was a flip side to having people remember your name, and that ultimately the work speaks for the cartoonist. + for picking an agent, if you want to go the agented route, the panelists suggested looking at the other clients being served but also to pay special attention as to where those artists being represented are having their books placed by the agent. + Secret Acres mentioned that their upcoming Troop 142 comic from the cartoonist Mike Dawson was an example of a work that was blindly submitted and that it was pretty much going to be their first book that wasn't really a debut work. The reason they have done so many debut works, incidentally, is from the simple need they had as a newer company to build a list. They had been to CCS before, and had once left with a box full of work that led to offers and contracts with a variety of then-CCS students. All three panelists talked about the advantages of working with creators across multiple projects, and how that kind of fruitful, long-term relationship is a goal in what each of them does. + Bernadette indicated she felt most comfortable right now selling YA material and non-fiction, although I could tell she didn't want to limit herself even in a casual statement on an industry panel to only representing much material. She described as collegial and supportive the general relationship among agents that specialize in cartoonists and comics-related representation. + as far as the industry itself, one thing that popped for me was that a couple of the panelists felt that there had been a drop in sales starting a year ago, just in terms of general demand from comics retail. There was also deep concern for the infrastructure of comics as represented by companies like Diamond, where inefficiencies in the way information is deployed and the books themselves are processed adds a level of strain and cost to the system that a lot of people can't afford. Although I came to the panel wanting to talk to the Secret Acres team about their use of comics sales rep Tony Shenton, I was surprised to hear that Kochman and Abrams had recently hired Shenton as a way of facilitating greater sales of their backlist into the comics Direct Market. + the basic Direct Market quandaries were noted: that comic book stores can be amazing, but many aren't, particularly for those with any interest in comics outside of a narrow take on superhero work; that there are more great stores than ever but whether or not there has been a proportional boost in sales of certain comics due to these great sales was either unknown or doubtful; that the best stores have roots in both the local artistic community and great deal of flexibility when arranging promotions and events with visiting creators. It wasn't too far from the kinds of conversations comics folks routinely have over convention dinners. + Steve Bissette noted a big difference in the market right now in broad terms was that kids don't have access to material in the same way that they used to: as something they could access with their own money. While I wondered out loud if the days of kids hauling into their homes a stream of pop-culture was as gone as the days of the day spent playing somewhere in the neighborhood without any supervision whatsoever, most of the panelists were quick to cite on-line media as a way for kids to have some control over making comics-related entertainment choices. + we talked about hand sales. For Secret Acres the ability to get out there to shows like last year's Brooklyn Comics And Graphics Festival is vital to the way they do business and is money they can count on making. Whether or not these kind of sales represent a way to make for deep industry infrastructure problem was a bit more open to debate -- Charlie noted that with a book like Boilerplate, the fact that authors Paul Guinan and Anina Bennett (whom I believe are represented by Bernadette) are so incredibly good at representing themselves and their projects at a show would make a difference for any publisher in terms of not-insignificant sales and the kind of buzz that a successful sale of books at a convention might provide. + I think it was Leon that noted that a difference between right now and 15-20 years ago is the relationship that many publishers have with printers, as art book and comics have a definite tactile appeal that has made many such businesses consider those books a greater part of their ability to survive as businesses over the next several years. The general quality of the art direction on books was also cited as a major difference, although maybe not a universal element as of yet, and how this plays to the basic demand on publishers to be great facilitators of their creators' wishes in getting the books out there looking as lovely and sharp as possible. + finally, the digital conversation was a lot briefer than I thought it was and went in a couple of strange directions. Bernadette noted that many publishers -- this was confirmed by Charlie -- want to include digital rights as part of their contracts and fold comics works into their existing or about-to-exist digital programs. Charlie and Bernadette both noted that there are a few creators that are asking to keep those rights as part of their negotiations, in some cases because they feel they can do a better job themselves. For their part, Leon and Barry hinted at some sort of digital initiative in the works regarding a number of publishers.* one thing that Charlie Kochman went on the record about in an informal setting later on that day is the state of Abrams' Frank Young/David Lasky Carter Family biography, which had been delayed while rights issues to the use of some lyrics were sorted out. After much discussion and some frustrating negotiations with the objecting parties, Abrams and the creators have decided to present the book in a way that those particular lyrics aren't needed, so the book remains a go. However, it won't be out until Fall 2012 because 1) there is still a bit of this rewrite work to be done even as the creators are deep into subsequent projects and 2) in Spring 2012 they'll have a book out that could conceivably compete for attention. * I quite liked the Secret Acres guys, and it was easy to match the eclectic nature of their catalog-to-date to the young New York publishing veterans they naturally seemed to be. If you want a pair of cool publishers to handle your work, there you go. One thing I found really humorous, and maybe I'm just watching too many Marvel related movies, but Leon reminded me a lot of Liev Schreiber and Barry of Clark Gregg. Although again, maybe I was just tired. * I asked after David Axe, one of Bernadette's clients -- she said that he's been working on both fiction and non-fiction pieces, and her aim is for him to settle down with a company that will create a small library of works around his comics. * I'd never met Steve Bissette before, and I would have made the trip just for that opportunity. Everyone on campus was so kind and solicitous in terms of the overwhelmingly positive way with which Bissette engage with the students. We talks about some industry manners, and Bissette's massive libraries of books and material collected -- literally tons and tons of stuff. * I liked the work that I saw, as a general rule. Some of it was more accomplished. All of the students did a halfway decent job of tamping down their influences, and most evinced a healthy self-critical function that I think will serve them in a variety of ways if they continue to move forward. There were no Lords Of The Basement bristling with the energy of "I'm here!" that you find at a lot of shows. It might be worth noting that many of them hadn't done a lot of shows, and that most of them were very excited and even scared to be exhibiting at MoCCA later on this month. * portfolio evaluation is not one of my roads less traveled. I ended a lot of sessions with some variation on "And to conclude, I suck at portolio evaluations." The problem for me is that it's hard to see the cartoons two or three years down the line from the vantage point of the work that was presented, making it extremely difficult to tell if individual cartoonists were on the right track or not. It's also difficult, given the variety of opportunities any single cartoonist might choose to pursue whether or not how they were approaching the page was adequate to the task or not. A few elements I saw repeated were 1) a generally higher level of craft across the board would have had significant benefits for every single cartoonist from whom I was presented work; 2) a lack of sophistication in where the eye moves, particularly in caption placement; 3) furious but not necessarily clear page design, indicative of an approach that stresses moment to moments within the page but not the page as its own discrete unites. Mostly they sat around and told me which evaluators were mean during last year's industry day, which gave me a chance to make up outrageous lies about them. * the panel guests and portfolio reviewers, sans a departing Bernadette, had dinner at School Director Sturm's lovely home, trading war stories about comics luminaries and talking about who in comics had collected what kind of material and at what cost. It was an early 20th Century building, the kind where you can figure out where the original house stood and what was built onto it at a later date. * one of the things I did not know is that not in no graduating class thus far have 100 percent of the students made it through the thesis evaluation process. * the mixer/karaoke night held at the local drinking establishment was pretty crazy-looking, although as mentioned Bernice had gone home by then in advance of a possible snowstorm and Charlie skipped it altogether. James Sturm stayed around for an hour or so, while Barry and Leon were still in the place when I left, nowhere near close to shutting things down. Leon even sang -- appropriately, it was a song with which I had very little familiarity being 143 year old. In the room next door to the karaoke room a band was planning on open mic night; one of their members was legendary webcomics cartoonist Cat Garza, to whom I spoke for a few moments while he was outside taking a break. Vermont is a long way from South Texas. * I had a great time, although I'm pretty sure anyone to whom I spoke might have come away feeling I was a bit deaf and have every reason for thinking this. A bunch of the area alumni showed up between 11 PM and midnight, and I got to briefly meet the cartoonist Chuck Forsman. * I saw the rest of the campus on a tour Friday. James Sturm declared it "part of his job," I think to make make me feel better about wasting so much of his time. * the library was pretty wonderful-looking, as you might expect: a bit smaller than I maybe thought (a chunk of it is off site) but certainly possessed of the required fancy volumes and slew of mini-comics. They have the hardest time processing single-issue comic books, which makes total sense. * the senior studios were fun. Every second-year student gets one, in an older building with cryptic notes about not setting foot into any room on the first floor. I imagined the students working quietly like assassins and then posting their finished pages in a kind of ongoing, nerd-macho throwdown. The Denys Wortman archives across the hall would have been stunning and remarkable just for the supplementary material on-hand -- any time you get to hold a vintage Annie original is a good time -- but for the amount of material on-hand from Wortman the room was a bit mind-blowing. Sturm reiterated a point I've heard him make in public, that one of the big lessons about reissuing a book on Wortman and doing a show in support of that books is how quickly and completely the once very prominent illustrator and comics-maker disappeared from public view. * Sturm has an office and studio up the street from the school, in a building that I believe is the town's first grocery store. The room, with plenty of light, built-in bookshelves and admirably high ceilings, was estooned with all sorts of odd posters and Sturm-favorite comics. There were plenty of Jack Kirby-era Thor comics, for example. Sturm offered up one of the more unique takes on Vince Colletta I'd ever heard, that he liked what he did to Hercules' face in those great Thor Vs. Hercules battles, making the Prince of Power look slightly more effeminate than my artists might have. Sturm had a huge stack of Quincy tear sheets, which is certainly more Quincy I had ever seen in my life up to that point. The studio allows Sturm to move away from his in-house office to a place he can get more work down, but at the same time remain accessible to the students. * Charlie Kochman is a note-taker. * during one more stop at the school, I went downstairs to the basement/lab with all the equipment -- from copiers to paper cutters to silk-screening stuff. This was one of the few space that was larger than I'd imagined and it seemed like the kind of place you might find students at 1 AM on a Tuesday night. The bathroom was decorated with cartoons -- not a rare thing at any art school, but it was funny to be standing there with James Sturm laughing at crude, insulting pictures of James Sturm, even though it was clear they weren't darkly serious. * two weird conversational elements came up more than once in a way that made me notice: three different people compared old comic books they liked to comfort foods involving cheese; a few people at different times expressed admiration for Lucy Caswell. During a moment not one of those Lucy Caswell conversations, Sturm mentioned how great a time he had at last Fall's OSU festival, and that Patrick McDonnell in particular spoke eloquently and well at that event. * I ran into Alec Longstreth a couple of times when I was there, and expressed admiration for his color work on Aaron Renier's Walker Bean comics. He mentioned that another one of those was apparently on the way, something that I'm not sure I knew. He also mentioned that somewhere on campus he and another cartoonist had placed pinball machines, and that a portion of their proceeds went to a small scholarship. Pinball, apparently, has replaced ping pong as the diversion of choice among students. I also briefly ran into Jason Lutes, one of the best people in comics, and more Berlin is imminent. I'm trying to think of anything else I heard publishing-wise, which wasn't much as I didn't press. Someone not Charlie Kochman mentioned that Kochaman and Abrams were working on a Rube Goldberg book. Center For Cartoon Studies has one more book in its historical-figure series -- the series with the Satchel Paige book and John P. doing Thoreau. There should be many more Adventures In Cartooning books, as that series has done well. * overall, I greatly enjoyed myself, and came back impressed with the place. There was a positive energy there that wasn't the accidental energy of something in its infancy. CCS looked and felt like it was settled in for the long haul, and has already a bigger and more complex organism than I imagined. Although Sturm did mention the miracle of some of its financial history, the way that fundraisers by cartoonists like Garry Trudeau and Art Spiegelman were a big help at the times they took place and that certain one-time donations from patrons were just as important and big, you got the sense that the financial model of the school itself was a satisfactory springboard for a lot of their day-to-day functions. Unless they completely fooled me, I expect to hear about that place for years to come. * my thanks to James for the invite, the enormous hospitality shown by all the students, Jon Chad, Colleen Frakes and Pat Barrett for the rides, and everyone else I met on an outstanding Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. ****** * The Center For Cartoon Studies ****** ****** ******

Kemba Walker the Epitome of a Player Making His Mark Headed into the NBA

Before the Big East Tournament this season, Connecticut Huskies star Kemba Walker was largely being grouped into a class with guards Jimmer Fredette of BYU and Alec Burks of Colorado headed into the upcoming 2011 NBA Draft.

Now, five wins into the NCAA Tournament, regardless of what he does in the national championship game, Walker has proven he deserves better.

What Walker has done this postseason has been truly remarkable, beginning with his March 8 matchup against DePaul at the start of the Big East tourney, when he dropped 26 points.

From that game forward, Walker has scored 255 points in 10 games and averaged 5.5 assists.

He has carried his team more than any player in this year's NCAA Tournament and been more instrumental in their success than anyone.

He simply has "it," that thing that can't be scientifically backed up, but is clear to anyone watching him.

He has that X-factor, that ability to rise to the occasion and step up his game the tougher the competition.

Against Kentucky in the Final Four on Saturday, Walker not only scored 18 points, he dished out seven assists, grabbed six rebounds, collected two steals, and notched two blocks.

At this point, the sky's the limit for Walker, who could become the next great NBA star hailing from UConn, joining such figures as Ray Allen and Richard Hamilton.

He's also the reason we love college basketball, seeing a deserving young man become successful based on hard work, diligence, an unstoppable desire, and love for the game.

Talent? You have it.

Character issues? There are none.

The potential to close out his collegiate career with a national championship?

Absolutely.

For Tyler Ward's take on Walker, go here.

The attempt by Wisconsin Republicans to bully a moderate history professor into silence is shocking. Have they no shame?

On 10 March, the day after Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's legislation to kill the state's public service unions, the New York Times asked University of Wisconsin history professor William Cronon to explain the state's background of public service collective bargaining laws. As Wisconsin's homegrown and most prominent historian, it was a logical choice.

Cronon established a prominent reputation early from environmental histories that described the interaction of peoples and ecologies in colonial and nineteenth century America. With the 1991 publication of Nature's Metropolis, a history of Chicago's distinctive role as nexus between rural agrarian and urban industrial worlds, he became a star, both widely read and academically admired.

For most of his career, Cronon has been attacked from the left for celebrating competitive capitalism, and from the right for his distinctive brand of eco-history. A mild, moderate man, he describes himself as spending lots of time defending conservative contributions to liberal friends. In his research for the Times op-ed piece, he uncovered a strong connection between Walker's anti-union initiative and a national, conservative, overwhelmingly Republican state legislation advocacy organisation called the American Legislative Exchange Council, or Alec. On his own time, computer and email, he posted his first blog as, appropriately enough, Scholar as Citizen. Scholar-like, the post drew no conclusions and made no accusations; it simply offered a study guide and lesson plan-length curriculum by which students and citizens could investigate the connections on their own.

On 15 March, the Wisconsin Republican party filed a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request to view the contents of "Professor William Cronon's state email account from 1 January 2011 to present which reference any of the following terms: Republican, Scott Walker, recall, collective bargaining, AFSCME, WEAC, rally, union [and 12 prominent Republican state senators who supported Walker's bill]".

Like the Wisconsin Republicans' final vote to kill public service unions, which arguably broke Wisconsin open records and public notice laws, the FOIA request for Cronon's emails may not be legal. Wisconsin open records law states that, "all persons are entitled to the greatest possible information regarding the affairs of government and the official acts of those officers and employees who represent them." Cronon, by contrast, is neither an "employee who represent(s) them" nor engaged in an "official act". His op-ed piece was written and submitted as a private citizen, and neither in university employment nor representing any university department.

The Times published Cronon's op-ed piece on 22 March. As if to corroborate his hypothesis about a coordinated conservative strategy behind Walker's initiative, on 24 March, the rightwing Michigan-based Mackinac Institute thinktank issued its own FOIA request for university emails of professors at the University of Michigan, Michigan State University and Wayne State University in Detroit. The request asked for all emails referring to "Scott Walker", "Wisconsin", "Madison", collective bargaining in Wisconsin, and "Maddow" – presumably, in reference to the pro-labour MSNBC television commentator.

In his second blog, Cronon politely asked the Republican party of Wisconsin to withdraw its request. He pointed out that Wisconsin and its university has a long-established tradition of non-partisan academic freedeom, established for more than a century. In 1894, Wisconsin economics Professor Richard Ely was accused of espousing anarchist and socialist views. The Wisconsin Regents, the university's governing body, appointed a committee, whose special report concluded in words that established American academic freedom:

"Whatever may be the limitations which trammel inquiry elsewhere, we believe that the great state university of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found."

Those words, carved on a plaque of Wisconsin embedded in a Wisconsin granite stone, stand at the entrance of the University's Bascom Hall. Frederick Jackson Turner, the famous American historian honoured in Cronon's endowed chair, helped establish what eventually became the American doctrine of academic freedom.

Even Wisconsin's Joe McCarthy, who famously went after professors at Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Hopkins, Chicago and virtually every other great American university, went easy on his home state's and his own alma mater. Perhaps the wily McCarthy, whose name is synonymous with the practice of reputational decimation by accusation and innuendo, knew something that today's Wisconsin Republicans don't understand: even the most conservative Wisconsinites have an inveterate, as well as historical, sense of fair play.

Three In A Bed | Martina Cole's The Runaway | Monroe | Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience | In Confidence | 30 Rock

Three In A Bed
8pm, Channel 4

Not content with turning dinner parties, bus trips, marriages and even living in a Yorkshire village into competitive TV, Channel 4 has commissioned a second series of this B&B; battle. This time, three couples compete for the plaque declaring them best hosts, with neat-freak Debbie demonstrating her special talent for spotting stray pubes in the shower and local busybody Frances putting on a show at breakfast (she's even got homemade yoghurt). Things get heated when somebody spills red wine on a pristine duvet, but did they do it on purpose? Sian Rowe

Martina Cole's The Runaway
9pm, Sky1

Martina Cole's The Take was a hit for Sky last year, and this follow-up shouldn't leave fans or curious newcomers disappointed. Fourteen-year-old Cathy (Joanna Vanderham) is born into the East End crime scene and predictably gets caught up in the world of shooters, stitch-ups and men in dodgy suits. Kierston Wareing returns, this time as prostitute mam Madge, and Keith Allen stirs things up as a gang boss. Expect more nastiness – and Alan Cumming in a dress – as the series continues.

SR

Monroe
9pm, ITV1

Our favourite cocky but flawed neurosurgeon Monroe (the one who's great at telling others their problems but has severe trouble dealing with his own; page one for a "complex" TV character) has a patient on his hands who needs a tumour removed, but the man is reluctant because he believes God is talking to him. Cue a bit of faith versus science conflict. Despite the verisimilitude of hospital procedure and medical talk, there isn't really anything real life about the personal drama here; people talk in improbable summarising snippets so we know where everyone stands.

Martin Skegg

Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience
10pm, BBC2

The Welsh stand-up tries working on a dairy farm. Milking his flatmate (relax, the flatmate is holding a liquid-filled rubber glove), proves scant preparation for a life on the land. As Gilbert himself points out: "The closest I come to being a farmer is when I do a gig in England and somebody does a sheep noise at me." Fun, but you can't help thinking Gilbert is again operating in John Bishop territory when there's something intrinsically darker about his humour.

Jonathan Wright

In Confidence
10pm, Sky Arts 1

Professor Laurie Taylor has sat opposite figures as diverse as Christopher Hitchens and Lily Allen in this serious and untricksy interview show, one that harks back to the single camera interviews of 1960s arts programming. Tonight, he chats with someone with whom he perhaps more readily shares intellectual common ground: Dame Shirley Williams. Her current situation – a politician on the moderate left, now in coalition with the Conservatives – is touched on, of course, but Williams is great also on her upbringing and pre-political life, as the daughter of novelist Vera Brittain. John Robinson

30 Rock
10.30pm, Comedy Central

Liz is fretting over her romance with Carol so she asks Jack what makes men bored in a relationship ("That's an excellent question. The answer is questions like that."). Her cheap substitute for therapy is to offload her troubles on to Kenneth, which causes a knock-on effect on everyone's mental wellbeing. There have been murmurs recently about Alec Baldwin considering leaving the show. This episode, where he smartly mops up everyone's traumas and manages a strangely touching speech about proteins, shows just how indispensable his performance and character is to 30 Rock. Phelim O'Neill

Every life needs a soundtrack, and John Calipari's is The Royal Scam by Steely Dan. As Calipari prepares for his third Final Four, this one with Kentucky basketball, Spencer Hall details how nine songs explain all you need to know about the controversial coach.

Steely Dan released The Royal Scam in 1976. In that same year, Rupp Arena, Kentucky basketball's home court, is also opened. The two have no connection. John Calipari is in high school, and thinking about college. It is not known whether he is a Steely Dan fan, though he does have a friendship with Drake. This by all estimates a sign he is not a fan of Fagen and Becker's work. 

The Royal Scam's track arrangement follows. So does John Calipari's identity in nine songs.

Kid Charlemagne

Clean this mess up else we'll all end up in jail...

You are probably most familiar with this chapter of Calipari's life as a basketball coach: the hint of scandal, the working at the fringes of the basketball world prior to Kentucky in order to ply his craft, the formulas he uses that few other coaches do. The song's namesake refers to Owsley Stanley, a notorious acid dealer in San Francisco who like Calipari was accused of wrongdoing by others, but rightfully pointed out time and time again that he was doing nothing that was technically against the rules. (At least for the time: LSD was outlawed, and Stanley did eventually spend a few years on involuntary federal vacation.)

Calipari has managed to continue selling his own disorienting brand of basketball and program management despite a pall of allegations surrounding him. He told a recruit Lou Carnesecca he was dying. He donned a rubber mask, wore stilts, and had his skin surgically darkened so he could pass as Derrick Rose while taking the Memphis star's SAT for him. His greatest triumphs evaporate in puffs of backdated NCAA smoke; his NBA draft picks are overshadowed by the horrendous graduation rates. 

His stays are longer than one might think; after all, he spent seven years at UMass, nine at Memphis, and appears to have settled as well as any coach could into the half-deity's role of head basketball coach at Kentucky. But like a rogue chemist on the run, Calipari cooks his product quickly, sells like a huckster pitching milk a day from the expiry date, and keeps in motion constantly. There is recruiting, and tweeting, and hands to shake, and mysterious fixers to meet. There is always the next deal, and then the suspicious eyes of rivals and bystanders alike glowering at implied crimes without fingerprints, evidence, or witnesses.

Like Kid Charlemagne himself, he is alone in his field. His science is nonpareil. His commodity, unlike a thousand other coaches who pitch the school, the tradition, or the team itself, is himself. For traditionalists fond of the Boeheims and Krzyzewskis of the world, he is a deserving outcast and fugitive from decency. For others, he is the last honest man in basketball precisely because he is not a college basketball coach. 

He is a chemist, and a great one at that.

The Caves of Altamira

Can it be this sad design
Could be the very same
A wooly man without a face
And a beast without a name
Nothin' here but history

If you bring up the vacated titles as Calipari's mocking legacy, clearly you're the kind of person deeply concerned with history. Calipari's two previous Final Four visits resulted in two vacations, a literal obliteration of your team's titles from the record books of the NCAA. This passes for justice in the name of two violations of the NCAA's code of amateurism: Marcus Camby's taking money from agents, and Derrick Rose's.

You can sit around mooning about at cave paintings and wondering about the path of history. Calipari can't and won't say this in as many words, but in his own way he is a genius of minimalist economy. He is a great basketball coach who has stripped down the arcane political economy of college basketball to a brutal formula. Play for him, and you can leave after one year to become a professional where you will make more money than most people will see in their lives. You will do it by winning, too, and then he will repeat this formula until he cannot repeat it anymore.

There is zero mythological John Wooden to this. Worry about history and the ghosts of a college basketball past if you like, but that's dry paint on a cave wall as far as he's concerned. Calipari is in every sense immersed in the now. An education is secondary; becoming a professional is the first goal and the primary one, and Calipari has turned everywhere he has been into a one year finishing school for NBA hopefuls. Most others are functioning on a Paleolithic understanding of college basketball. Calipari belongs squarely to this savage present, another unpardonable sin in some quarters.

Don't Take Me Alive

I know you're out there
With rage in your eyes and your megaphones
Saying all is forgiven
Mad Dog surrender
How can I answer
A man of my mind can do anything

A song about a man holding off an entire town's worth of police in a standoff. Calipari, on his enemies:

"There are times I get mad and want to strangle somebody, and then I go to Mass and say, Stop me from having this feeling that I want to absolutely punch this guy in the face," Calipari says. "I'm from Pittsburgh. You come at me? I come at you twice. You hurt one of mine? I'm burning your village."

A man of his mind is capable of a lot, including dwelling outside of a lot of college basketball's social circles, conventions, and traditions. Sometimes Calipari pitching himself as the primary value of his basketball program may be rank egoism. It may also be the approach of a man who having weathered controversy and tumult now only depends only on himself as the foundation of his professional success.

That we as fans vacillate from a personal belief in the power of the individual to a nearly sacred belief in the value of teamwork is largely dependent on whether we like the focus of our vision. Is Calipari the lone gun? Not entirely. Though his coaching tree isn't as lush as Pitino's for sure it does exist. He counts some friends in the coaching profession, and many more beyond it. As the SI article details, he's prone to showing up unannounced and welcomed at their sickbeds for long visits, to sending notes of support when needed, to filling out the profile of a good man in private and unheralded ways.

One person's mad man is another's martyr. The angle determines a lot about how you'll see him. Calipari may be perpetually under siege for his tactics, but he is no lone gunman, and certainly not the person whose egoism overrides the product teams pay for. His Memphis teams won 20 games a year for nine straight seasons. His UMass teams' talent-to-performance ratio would have broken calculators if properly calculated. His 2011 Kentucky team is the eyeball favorite to win the tourney at this moment.

If he wins, though, his detractors will just see the lone madman, and not the team he brings with him. Individual achievement is, after all, only good if I like the player or coach concerned, and in the negative becomes selfishness, egotism, and "a me-first attitude." We as a nation like me-first until we don't like the "me" concerned. But John Calipari already knows this all too well, since a man of his mind can do anything, especially when he's long since ditched the concerns of detractors.

Seriously, Calipari is a sort of Ayn Rand Objectivist protagonist in the worst and best ways, though better written. So is a lone gunman at the top of a tower, which is sort of the problem with extremely individualist arguments. For my money, if I had to pick a basketball coach who would end up in a fiery shootout with the police, it's still Bob Knight holed up in a golf bunker with a 12 pack of beer, a rifle, and a red sweater with a flak jacket beneath it.

Sign In Stranger

Do you have a dark spot on your past
Leave it to my man he'll fix it fast
Pepe has a scar from ear to ear
He will make your mug shots disappear

You zombie
Be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

So he--and whomever "Sign In Stranger" is really about--they're dinged, damaged goods, dodgy contraband. Calipari's been there, and he's had his mug shots evaporate with time, opportunity, and the kind of forgiveness the natural process of forgetting begets. Kentucky, an illustrious program with championships and a championship-grade history of epic probations and rules violations to match, may have ultimately been the scoundrel's best refuge since they understood all too well. The argument that Kentucky had to take a chance on Calipari is devoid of truth: in truth, after Tubby Smith and Billy Gillespie, Calipari's brand of ruthless recruiting and rakish public demeanor was the safe choice.

Pirates understand pirates, which is precisely why Kentucky, a fanbase and organization expecting victory constantly, found a coach in complete agreement with their institutional philosophy. If Calipari ends up with a third vacated Final Four, they won't care. They would have one the game and lost ink. Ink fades. Memories do not. 

THE FEZ

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no

A song about always wearing a condom to have sex made by a rock band in the 1970s lets you know that the rock musicians in question were beyond geeky, since it was the '70s and I don't even think astronauts wore helmets on spacewalks back then, and rock musicians in the pre-AIDS era certainly didn't do their groupie skin diving wearing a wetsuit.  

Relevant to Calipari in two respects:

1. Calipari's tidy romance of the college basketball system may be clouded by rumor, but that's it. Run the tests, Maury: the scandal-baby is his, since whatever Calipari does he does safely and with multiple barriers between him and contagion. If he's a cheating spouse, he is a very considerate and methodical cheating spouse.
   
2. The hair. A fez is a hat, and while a metaphor in the song, let's focus on the hat Calipari wears all the time: the pure gel swipe, front to back control held in place by some heinous product likely purchased from chemical wholesalers. It is the hairdo of Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross, the executive's power 'do for someone who grew up in the 70s and came to maturity in the '80s. A lot of these guys went to jail for insider trading, fraud, and fast words that turned into piles of glorified pyramid schemes. You want to know one reason why you may not trust John Calipari? That hair, the dated coiffure of a Northeastern corridor confidence man who may really have a pair of brass balls in his briefcase.

SIDE TWO: PLEASE FLIP RECORD

Green Earrings

Cold, daring
No flies on me
Sorry, angel
I must take what I see

Really just a song about desire and wanting something shiny, and certainly well within Calipari's general M.O. Take Memphis, and the case of the amazing Calipari door.

That's the flip side of the modern coaching story. You may get someone like Calipari, but you might as well set up the digital camera in the parking lot if you do. Ambition will force someone like Calipari both to and through that door, either because he drives you a step too far for the NCAA's liking, or because you tire of realizing you, the school, we be at best a partner and at worst a servant to their whims. There are coaches who sincerely want to be a part of the institution, and there are coaches who are the institution and merely partner with branded schools in short-term ventures.

Calipari is the institution here. Kentucky, for the moment, is the partner, and the partnership is going swimmingly by all accounts. The door, however, will always be there in the back of everyone's mind, and it should be. Cynical or realistic, it is as much a part of the contract as the wins.

Haitian Divorce

You're going to learn something today. Prior to the fall of the Jean-Claude Duvalier government in Haiti in 1985, divorce was one of Haiti's prime industries. Legally recognized in New York, California, and Massachusetts,  divorces filed between American couples in Haiti were cheap, fast, and allowed couples to work in some vacation while they ended their eternal agreements. This song is about one of those and an unfortunate resulting one-night stand resulting in a bastard child.

Charles Pierce wrote this in a scathing piece on Calipari in Slate.

He wins and then, poof! He's disappeared from history, like a dead pharaoh fallen out of favor or a general who displeased Stalin. And, if Kentucky wins this thing and you picked someone else in your pool, just be patient. Appeals might be pending for a couple of years.

Like a Haitian divorce, Calipari's separation from the damage done in his former relationships is not universally recognized, and varies state to state. It also has the exotic whiff of danger, scandal, and a legal code others might not understand or endorse. Either way, when it happens there is one guarantee: it will be quick, and people will ask questions.

(Calipari has probably also been accused of using voodoo and other dark arts to recruit players and dazzle befuddled NCAA investigators.) 

Final note of tangential relevance: the legendary Bernard Purdie plays the drums on "Haitian Divorce." Like Calipari, he is the first to explain himself to you: 

Purdie has a pair of signs he posts on either side of his drum set. One reads: "You done did it!" The other: "You done hired the hitmaker." Now please place these on either side of Calipari on the bench, and see if they don't look all too right bookending him. 

Everything You Did

You never came to me
When you were so inclined
Yes you could have told me everything you did baby
I know where baby's at
I know your filthy mind
Now you're gonna do me everything you did baby

A confessional: a woman has cheated, and the narrator demands to know the details. No, this has nothing to do with Calipari, or how he keeps getting hired despite those oft-mentioned vacated Final Fours and the rumors, or how in the end he manages to keep pitching, keep seducing, keep getting the yes he wants at the end. The song ends with the narrator demanding the exact same treatment the cheater gave to their last lover. Noooo, absolutely nothing to do with Calipari's relationship to his prospective employers. Move along. No parallels whatsoever. 

THE ROYAL SCAM

They looked upon the promised land
Where surely life was sweet
On the rising tide
To New York City
Did they ride into the street

See the glory
Of the royal scam

Basketball is split between Hoosiers and Hoop Dreams. It is a sport of the American heartland and tiny brick gymnasiums surrounded by cornfields and earnest men in hornrims, or it is the balletic streetball played by inner city minority kids who see every basket made as a hammerstrike through the wall separating them from the life they want, or it is some uneasy tension between the two. It's beautiful and slightly sad either way like any sport played by young people with dreams, hopes, and all the other things that tend to evaporate in the heat of existence. 

Earlier this week we were listening to Bomani Jones and he insisted Calipari's reputation had something to do with him being Italian. This is probably somewhat true. If you want an arbitrary number attached to its value as a part of a whole, let's put it at 20 percent, 30 percent tops. It is there, but Calipari's heresies exceed the crimes of his ethnicity.  

The truth is that college athletics as a whole is a scam, a fraudulent and inherently flawed exchange of labor for the value of a degree that does many athletes little good in the long run. The failures leading up to this point can't be tackled here: they border on the sociological, and require entire books' worth of explanation.

What can be is Calipari's role in this particular Royal Scam, and that he more than any other coach revels in its excesses, its greed, the mean carnivorous business at the heart of college sports at its highest levels. The song is about immigrants discovering their own royal scam: working in the cold dark of New York City for little or nothing, taking a chance on the long odds of becoming the one to make it out. This is the same offer college athletics offers young athletes hoping to make it to the pros: long odds, cold mornings, and a distant shot.

(If they like, they can get a degree, too, but that is not part of the equation for many, and even when it is the degrees are often in majors chosen for ease and compatibility with athletics. Rex Grossman got a degree in Leisure Studies while he was at Florida. So did a lot of athletes. I don't think it was their first choice, but four straight bowl games and an SEC title later no one seemed to care.) 

That is the brutal truth of college athletics, and it wears a mask in most instances. Calipari makes little attempt to wear a costume. The Royal Scam has a kind of glory to him, and like animals that succeed he has evolved to fit his circumstances. He may indeed be everything his detractors say, but he cannot be accused of hiding his fangs. They are right out there for all to see. He'd be happy to show you, actually. Come closer. No, just a little closer. Yessss. Right there.

In the 2011 NBA Draft, some teams will be looking for a centerpiece to their team, while others will be looking for the missing piece.

The Phoenix Suns may not be that close to competing for an NBA championship. but adding one of the best pure scorers in the draft pool could go a long ways in helping them get back into the playoffs.

Alec Burks is that player.

The Colorado Buffaloes shooting guard is one of the more underrated players in the country. Had he played at North Carolina, Duke, Kansas or Kentucky, he would be talked about as a top possible pick. But since Colorado did not even receive an invite to the 2011 NCAA Tournament, he is being discussed toward the bottom of the lottery picks.

But while he may be on the board when the Suns pick, he is talented enough to earn the rookie of the year award in 2011-2012. His offensive skills are that solid.

While he needs to improve on his jump shot, Burks could become a prolific scorer at the next level.

Chad Ford of ESPN says that "When Burks is at his best, he's slicing through defenses and finishing at the basket. When he gets free, he can have huge games, and he'll probably need a few of those in the Big 12 tournament to convince NBA execs that he should be in the lottery conversation. As it stands, he's a mid to late first-round pick."

Burks could be a great backcourt mate in Phoenix along with Steve Nash. He could learn under Vince Carter for a season, and would probably then be ready to start in the league.

His shooting skills may leave a bit to be desired, but his scoring abilities more than make up for that to make him a solid draft pick.

For more on the draft and some possible first round selections, make sure to check out Bleacher Report Cavaliers Featured Columnist Jesse Dorsey, who previews the NBA Draft 2011: Has Jimmer Fredette Worked His Way Into the Top 10?

SKYLINE (Blu-Ray)UNIVERSAL HOME ENTERTAINMENT2010/Rated PG-13/Running Time 94 minsList Price: $39.98 – Now AvailableDid anyone really see AVP-R aka Alien vs. Predator: Requiem? I did, in the theaters actually and while I can't say it ranks high up there with any of the films from either monster film franchise, the sequel turned out to be better than I expected. And I wasn't expecting much. Though the film had a ridiculous plot, some terrible performances by a cast being chased by guys in rubber suits and cinematography so bad you couldn't see crap, I'm still amazed that I found AVP-R somewhat enjoyable. Stupid, but stupid fun.  Maybe it was because it had some heavy Alien on Predator action or should I say Aliens vs. Predator, since it involved one lone hunter essentially playing a badass against an army of those xenomorphs with acid for bloodAVP-R was a box-office failure, but that didn't stop directors Colin and Greg Strause aka The Brothers Strause from landing another gig. Their latest, Skyline, is a sci-fi horror film that actually looks at lot bigger than its rumored price tag of between $9 and $20 million. Shot in 4K resolution on the RED camera the feature looks gorgeous and its visual f/x are impressively realistic despite the movie's small budget. The big problem you may have guessed is the film's story. Not your typical alien invasion film, the ideas concerning the premise are rather interesting, just executed poorly and weakly supported by some terrible casting. As much as I'd like to, I can't completely blame the film's star Eric Balfour for the fact that a great deal of this movie is a bust. Yet Balfour can't act to save his life, makes a terrible lead and the only film of his I can honestly say I enjoyed was 2005's Lie With Me. Granted I only liked that film because of the sex scenes he shared with actress Lauren Lee Smith and it's probably safe for me to say I blocked him out and actually forgot he was in it. Whatever charm Balfour works on casting agents must have got him the lead in Skyline. (It's probably what worked on one time fiance Moon Bloodgood, but that's another story.) He plays Jarrod, a Brooklynite (who do they think they're kidding?) who flies to LA with his girlfriend Elaine (Scottie Thompson) to visit rich and successful old friend Terry (a chunky Donald Faison, looking like he is literally eating his Scrubs residual checks).The morning after a party at Terry's lavish apartment, everyone is woken by a mysterious blue light shining through the window blinds. When Jarrod takes a look, he's instantly put into a strange trance, walking towards the window in a zombie state before Terry frantically stops him. That light is emanating from various spots throughout the city and it's attracting anyone who looks at it like moths to a flame. Turns out there's an armada of alien spacecrafts in the sky and this is how they carry out their invasion plans. Once victims are drawn to the light, they're literally sucked up into the sky never to be seen again. Not to worry, it's probably safe to say that vision impaired talents like Stevie Wonder and Andrea Bocelli are staying right here. Kanye West is just dumb, not blind, but the aliens may not want him either.Skyline has a big problem in the fact that a face can not really be put to the antagonists of the movie. Wonderfully designed by Alec Gillis and Tom Woodrruff, Jr. the creatures in this film share a uniquely terrifying look, yet are beautiful to look at. Their relentlessness and persistence in killing or rounding up every last survivor, gives them personality, but to a short extent. That's where character development amongst the protagonists should come in and unfortunately the performances of the main cast come up short. It's tough to buy any of the main cast members reacting to any threat or terror, because it's difficult to keep a straight face when they do so. Of course in reality the actors were playing against things that weren't there and would be added later, but their reactions are so overly dramatic that one can't help but laugh. There aren't many ways to scream "Nooooo" or "Ruuuuun", but it seems like just about anyone can do it better than the actors in this movie.  Much of the dialogue is delivered in a wooden fashion almost as if the actors were never given script pages to study. When Elaine asks Jarrod if he was awake all night, my guess is it's because Balfour doesn't know how to act like he's asleep.The picture has a really good set-up, but in time you realize just how small and limited the story is. The setting of Terry's apartment building basically doesn't change and any major events concerning human resistance against the aliens is observed through a telescope or on a CCTV. The fact that the aliens can search and crawl through confined spaces opens the opportunity for cat and mouse chase sequences. Yet the Brothers Strause execute confrontations in a kitchen and parking lot rather poorly, reminding one of how well Spielberg handled this stuff in Jurassic Park and War of the Worlds.In time, any sympathy for the main characters diminishes because of the stupid decisions they make and the fact that they're unlikable. You know a movie is in trouble when you could care less if the entire human race might get wiped out. The Brothers Strause are even bold enough to close the film with a scene that sets up a potential sequel that seems rather ridiculous especially with what's come before it. When thinking of better ways I could have spent ninety minutes of my life for some strange reason watching insects get vaporized in an electronic zapper comes to mind.Video: A solid HD visual presentation framed in the film's original 2.40 to 1 aspect ratio. Blacks are strong and a great deal of texture and detail can be found on the skin of the actors as well as the alien spacecrafts. Love this film or hate it, the cinematography here is a great example of what can be done with the RED camera.Audio: A very strong audio mix presented in DTS Master Audio 5.1. This lossless track rumbles quite powerfully with it's .0.1 low frequency channel yet dialogue and music come through quite clear. Since Skyline features a number of quiet scenes, the strength of the volume within this mix can often sneak up on you when action gets started.Extras: Directors' Audio Commentary: Despite my unfavorable reaction towards the film, I rather enjoyed this audio commentary from co-directors Greg and Colin Strause. They're informative and reveal a great many tricks, including the fact that the apartment where much of the movie is set actually belongs to one of them. They're also a bit full of themselves, feeling as if they've crafted a rousing sci-fi story that's supposedly a prequel to something bigger. I don't know about that, but what I do know is that while listening to them, there's never a dull moment.Writers' Audio Commentary: Co-writer/producer Liam O'Donnell and co-writer Joshua Cordes are infatuated with Skyline even more than the Brothers Strause. Their sarcasm might be a turn off to the casual listener, but nevertheless, their commentary is pretty (unintentionally) hilarious.Deleted and Extended Scenes with Optional Commentary (HD, 7:00 mins): The Brothers Strause along with O'Donnell and Cordes disect and discuss seven deleted and extended scenes: "Oliver in Lobby," "Terry & Candice in the Closet," "Jarrod & Elaine Paintings," "Extended Cache," "Ray Extended Party Scene," "Painting Scene" and "Candice & Oliver in Kitchen."Alternate Scenes with Optional Commentary (HD, 3:00 mins): The two alternate scenes featured are, "Candice Sorry" and "Oliver's Backstory."Pre-Visualizations with Optional Commentary (HD, 10:00 mins): Two action sequences, "Pool Escape" and "Rooftop Rescue” are presented here in their early unfinished stages.Trailers with Optional Commentary (HD, 4:00 mins): Just as humorous as the running commentary. The Brothers Strause discuss fan reaction to the trailer when it was first revealed at the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con and how they were able to score Dan Rather to play himself.  Source: Latino Review

Summary: The Scripting Wife learns how to use the Windows PowerShell switch command and regular expressions to parse text files.

Microsoft Scripting Guy, Ed Wilson, is here. The Script Week Live Meetings have been great fun, and the feedback has been incredible. The registration for the 2011 Scripting Games is going well, and it is hard to believe that the games kick off in a mere six days. Of course, if you have been putting off the registration and the preparation for the games, there is still plenty of time—one can learn an awful lot of Windows PowerShell in six days. Of course, there are also four more Script Week live meetings, and I encourage you to register for those events. The questions asked during the presentation are part of what makes the event so much fun.

I am sitting in the dining room, nodding over my laptop—I still have not fully recovered from my all-night flight from Seattle. Besides that, it is still “oh dark thirty” outside. I am debating making a cup of coffee, but I do not feel that it would help…perhaps a nice pot of English Breakfast tea would be worthwhile. As I enter the kitchen to make a pot of tea, I see the Scripting Wife at her computer. She seems to be experiencing a bit of frustration. I decide to see if I can make my pot of tea and sneak out of the room without being caught.

“Well there you are,” she says.

“Uh, oh. Too late. I am done for,” I think to myself.

I give her my “Who me, I’m innocent” look, whilst attempting to ease my way towards the door.

“I see you trying to sneak off,” she said.

“Uh, well good morning Scripting Wife,” I said in my most subdued cheerful voice. “How are you doing this fine morning?”

“So what are you up to?” she asked.

“I was just sitting here contemplating my Live Meeting that starts in a couple of hours,” I said.

“Well contemplate this: I would like to query all of the files in the myfriends directory, and pull out a two column list of friend’s names and phone numbers,” she said.

“Oh, I see.”

“What about it, can you help me?”

“Yes, I can help you. I am still deciding if I want to help you right now.”

“When will you decide? I have got things to do today, and they do not include sitting around here all day watching you sit there and contemplate your naval,” she said.

“I’m contemplating the Live Meeting for today, not my naval. Besides, I have my shirt on, I cannot even see my naval.”

“That is why you must contemplate it,” she said with wisdom.

“Oh. I see. Why don’t you contemplate starting up the Windows PowerShell ISE so you can write a script to create your phone list,” I said. “The first thing you need to do is to create an empty hashtable.”

“A hash what,” she said with a bit of obvious concern.

“A hashtable. You can use a hashtable to store pieces of information. It is sort of like an Excel spreadsheet with only two columns in it. In the first column, you can store your friend’s name, and in the second column you can store the phone number.”

“OK,” she said with resignation. “Tell me what to type.”

“Create a variable named dollar hash, and set it equal to at sign, left curly bracket, right curly bracket,” I said.

The Scripting Wife’s eyes brightened a bit with recognition.

“I can do that,” she said while clicking the keyboard. The code shown here is what she typed.

$hash = @{}

“Good, now that was not too bad, was it?” I said encouragingly.

“I am not stupid. I know how to type. What I don’t know is what that means,” she added.

“OK, open the Windows PowerShell console, and type that same code. After you have done that, pipe $hash to the Get-Member cmdlet,” I instructed.

The Scripting Wife typed for a second, and then sat back to examine the results. Her command and the associated output are shown here (gm is an alias for the Get-Member cmdlet).

PS C:[___DESCRIPTION___]gt; $hash = @{}

PS C:[___DESCRIPTION___]gt; $hash | gm

 

   TypeName: System.Collections.Hashtable

 

Name              MemberType            Definition

----              ----------            ----------

Add               Method                System.Void Add(System.Object key, System...

Clear             Method                System.Void Clear()

Clone             Method                System.Object Clone()

Contains          Method                bool Contains(System.Object key)

ContainsKey       Method                bool ContainsKey(System.Object key)

ContainsValue     Method                bool ContainsValue(System.Object value)

CopyTo            Method                System.Void CopyTo(array array, int array...

Equals            Method                bool Equals(System.Object obj)

GetEnumerator     Method                System.Collections.IDictionaryEnumerator ...

GetHashCode       Method                int GetHashCode()

GetObjectData     Method                System.Void GetObjectData(System.Runtime....

GetType           Method                type GetType()

OnDeserialization Method                System.Void OnDeserialization(System.Obje...

Remove            Method                System.Void Remove(System.Object key)

ToString          Method                string ToString()

Item              ParameterizedProperty System.Object Item(System.Object key) {ge...

Count             Property              System.Int32 Count {get;}

IsFixedSize       Property              System.Boolean IsFixedSize {get;}

IsReadOnly        Property              System.Boolean IsReadOnly {get;}

IsSynchronized    Property              System.Boolean IsSynchronized {get;}

Keys              Property              System.Collections.ICollection Keys {get;}

SyncRoot          Property              System.Object SyncRoot {get;}

Values            Property              System.Collections.ICollection Values {get;}

“You will notice that there is an add method for the HashTable class.”

“Yes, but it is cut off and I cannot see what it says,” she complained.

“Use your Up arrow to retrieve your previous command. This time type the word add after your Get-Member command.”

The Scripting Wife did not hesitate for even the blink of an eye. In less than a second, she had typed the following command (remember gm is an alias for the Get-Member cmdlet. When you are working interactively in the Windows PowerShell console, the use of aliases can simplify typing).

$hash | gm add

The command and its associated output are shown here.

PS C:[___DESCRIPTION___]gt; $hash | gm add

 

   TypeName: System.Collections.Hashtable

 

Name MemberType Definition

---- ---------- ----------

Add  Method     System.Void Add(System.Object key, System.Object value)

“As you can see, my dear Scripting Wife, the Add method accepts two parameters. The first parameter is the key and the second is the value. All this means is that the key must be unique among all of the items you store in the hashtable. Therefore, if you use the friend’s names as the key property, you cannot have two friends with the same name. If you did have two friends with the same name, you would need to add something like a number to the end of their name to make them unique. Another approach would be to use the telephone number as the key, but then if you had several people from the same family, it is possible that they would have the same phone number.”

“OK. I get it already. What do I need to do now?” she asked.

“Well you need to add a switch statement. One easy way to do this would be to use the code snippet that I created, but I do not think you have it installed on your computer,” I said.

“No, I did not add that to my profile…in fact, I am not certain I have a profile,” she said.

I leaned over and looked at her from the side, “You have a very nice profile.”

“Smart alec. How do I add a switch statement?” she asked.

“You need to type the word switch and use the regex switched parameter. Then you use the Get-Content command that you used yesterday to read the content from all your files. Next, you open and close a set of curly brackets.”

The Scripting Wife thought for a second and typed the following command.

Switch -regex (Get-Content -Path C:\MyFriends\*)

{

}

I looked over at her computer, and gave her a reassuring nod before proceeding. “Now you need to add two conditions. The first condition is the regular expression pattern you created earlier that finds your friend’s names. The second condition is the regular expression pattern that finds their phone numbers. Follow those patterns with an open and closed set of curly brackets.”

She thought for a minute, then found the file where she had stored the commands. She cut and pasted them into the Windows PowerShell ISE. Here is what she typed.

'^[a-zA-Z]+\s+[a-zA-Z]+$' { }

 '^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$'     { }

So far, this is what she has typed.

$hash = @{}

Switch -regex (Get-Content -Path C:\MyFriends\*)

{

 '^[a-zA-Z]+\s+[a-zA-Z]+$' { }

 '^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$'     { }

}

“OK. That is looking good. Now you need to add your action that goes inside the curly brackets for each of your regex conditions. The first one will be the name. Use the $name variable to store the name from the current $switch variable,” I said.

She thought for a second and then added the command. The line shown here is her revised line.

'^[a-zA-Z]+\s+[a-zA-Z]+$' {$name = $switch.current}

“Now, the next addition you need is a bit more complicated. Therefore, you might wish to begin on a blank line inside your pair of curly brackets.”

“OK. I am ready,” she said.

“First you need to use the same syntax that you used for the name, and assign the current line from the $switch variable to the $phone variable. Next, you use the add method from the hashtable that you created and stored in the $hash variable to add the name and phone to your hashtable. Lastly, you need to assign $null to the $name and $phone variables.”

This time, the Scripting Wife took her time. When she was finished, the revised code looked like the code shown here.

'^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$'     {

                            $phone = $SWITCH.CURRENT

                            $hash.Add($name,$phone)

                            $name=$phone=$null

                            }

“Very good,” I said. “Now you only need to display the contents of the $hash variable. Put it at the very bottom of your script.”

The Scripting Wife added the $hash variable to the very end of her script. The complete script that she created is shown here.

SearchTextReturnNameAndPhoneNumber.ps1

$hash = @{}

Switch -regex (Get-Content -Path C:\MyFriends\*)

{

 '^[a-zA-Z]+\s+[a-zA-Z]+$' {$name = $switch.current}

 '^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$'     {

                            $phone = $SWITCH.CURRENT

                            $hash.Add($name,$phone)

                            $name=$phone=$null

                            }   

}

$hash

The script and its associated content are shown in the following image.

“I don’t know why you were whining this morning. It did not take very long at all,” she said.

“Well, I had some good help,” I said.

“Yeah, right. I have got to go. Good luck in your Live Meeting,” she said.

“I thought you were going to sign in and listen,” I said.

“Well, maybe. But Amy and I already had plans. We are going out to breakfast, and then heading to the mall. We want to be there when it opens,” she said.

“But the mall takes less than 30 minutes to get to,” I pleaded.

“Not our mall. We are going to the mall in Columbia, South Carolina. It will take us a couple of hours to drive there, so we need an early start.”

“Oh. I see. Have fun.”

I invite you to follow me on Twitter and Facebook. If you have any questions, send email to me at scripter@microsoft.com, or post your questions on the Official Scripting Guys Forum. See you tomorrow. Until then, peace.

Ed Wilson, Microsoft Scripting Guy

Colorado's Alec Burks Would be Perfect Fit in High Octane Phoenix Suns Offense

Sophomore shooting guard Alec Burks exploded onto the scene for the Buffs this season and could parlay that success into a possible lottery pick if he decides to declare.

The 6'6 shooting guard is deadly in the open court and can score in a variety of ways.

ESPN NBA draft expert Chad Ford speaks of the interesting situation with Burks' game:

"In a draft devoid of great shooting guard prospects, Burks offers a bit of a quandary. He has the requisite size and athleticism for the position -- but how interested are you in a shooting guard who can't shoot?

When Burks is at his best, he's slicing through defenses and finishing at the basket."

If Burks can develop a jumper than he is really going to be a hard man to contain.

Defensively he has a way to go. He is athletic enough to keep up with his opponent—but needs to constantly show the effort. Up to this point he hasn't done so.

NBA Comparison: Danny Granger

Granger is a 20 plus point a game scorer that can beat you off the dribble, with his jumper and in transition.

But that's about all Granger is good for. He is a below average defender and offers little in the assist and rebounding departments.

Burks is going to follow a similar path.

Expect him to excel in a high-powered offense like the Suns that encourage his aggressive play and his lackluster defense.

For all of the latest news, and analysis regarding March Madness...click here.

I was watching, studying actually, Alec Guinness in the early 1980s mini-series, "Smiley's People." It hardly matters that the plot was Byzantine--inscrutable even, watching Guinness and his "gift of quiet," is to watch genius at work. He conveys more with a glance or a twitch than lesser actors do with a speech.

One phrase in the mini-series hit me. It came from an associate of Guinness' character, George Smiley, who was urging Smiley to drop a case, to go back into retirement. "George," he says, "it's time to live off your hump."

Living off his hump is something Smiley can't do. He cannot go gently into that goodnight. Instead, with persistence and resolve, Smiley moves slowly and inexorably forward. Finding loose ends and knitting them together. Smiley is obviously old. He doesn't have the energy he once had--he lays down and naps now and again, but nothing stops his forward motion.

Living off our hump is something we in advertising should never, can never do either. We are only as good as our last assignment, our last commercial. Our next assignment doesn't care what our last accomplishment was. The same goes for agencies, too. They cannot live off their humps, either. Nobody cares about a campaign done four years ago.

Of course, there are those who seem to pull it off--living off their humps. The people with a Titanic attitude and a minnow in the engine room. Living off the fumes of something they said they were going to do, or something they almost did, or something an agency they once worked at did.

Sooner or later though, the great scorekeeper reads your tally. There are the workers and the blowhards.

What are you doing now?

Welcome to Chips Money Tips. I'm Chip Chinery.Capital One has a “good” credit card offer that becomes a GREAT credit card offer - if you think $1,120 in gift cards is worth 10 minutes of your time. (Enter SOCKY the sock puppet) S: Don’t speak to the nice people that way. C: Oh, hey Socky. Whaddyamean? S You were being condescending. C: I didn’t mean to be. I am just enthusiastic about the offer. S: Oh. Continue. It’s the Venture Miles card Alec Baldwin is promoting in commercials. It gets GREAT if you happen to have a lot of airline FF miles. Here’s the deal. Apply for the card. Once approved, you register online, and upload your airline FF mile statement from one of the 13 eligible airlines. Upload whichever of your airline accounts has the most FF miles. 13 airlines are eligible. Next step, spend $1,000 in 90 days. After you spend the $1K, C1 will match the FF miles on the statement you submitted up to 100K. And they’ll give you 10K bonus miles on top of that. A bonus on top of a bonus. Socky: It’s a buh-bonus! C: That’s right Socky, it’s a buh-bonus! I suggest paying off a big bill that is coming up - like for insurance or perhaps donating to a charity. Here’s what I did: I applied, was approved, registered, uploaded a PDF of my Delta Skymiles statement showing over 100,000 miles in my account, and received my Capital One card. Once I spend $1,000 in the next 90 days, Capital One will give me the following miles: 100,000 – Matching the miles I have at Delta. Socky: What happens to your Delta Miles? That is a VERY good question, Socky. NOTHING. I didn’t trade them or anything like that. They are mine to keep. Capital One just wants to see that you have FF miles elsewhere. Socky: Oh. Thank you. C: You’re welcome. 10,000 – the new card member bonus for spending $1,000 in first 90 days. And… 2,000 – for spending that $1,000 That comes to 112,000 Capital One miles. Of course, things could change with the Capital One offer, but I doubt it since they are spending millions of dollars on the Alec Baldwin campaign alone. So, as of right now, I will get 112,000 Capital One miles. I could use them for travel, but they also have a slew of gift cards at restaurants, department stores and more. I could take all of my Capital One Miles and redeem them for $1,120 in Exxon/Mobil gas cards. It’s either gonna be that or a year’s supply of mani-pedies. Socky: It’s important to look good. C: True. There is no annual fee the first year. If you already have a Capital One Credit card, you might be able to upgrade that card to the Venture Miles card. Call to see if you qualify. You MAY have to have a credit card with one of the 13 airlines listed in the FAQ section #5 – but maybe not. There is some ambiguity in this offer, but if you have a slew of FF miles, this is well worth the application. If you have 40,000 miles at American Airlines for example, You’ll get 40,000 matched, plus 12,000 for spending $1,000. That’s 52,000 worth $520 in gift cards. That’s a greta offer. Socky: Please, no more math. C: Ok, Socky. In case you don’t already a credit card at one of the 13 eligible airlines, I suggest you apply for a great Continental offer below. If you are watching this at ChipsMoneyTips.com, the link to that offer is below this video, (Socky points to it) Thank you, Socky, as well as the Capital One Venture Miles application and FAQs. You can also take advantage of this offer with the Venture Small Business credit card, but you must submit a FF mile statement from a different airline. As always, do not get a credit card unless you will pay off the balance due every month – in full. Offer ends May 13, 2011 or when 1 Billion miles have been matched. So, you should sign up now – which reminds me. If you want to receive emails the instant these posts go up, please subscribe at ChipsMoneyTips.com! Socky (with his mouth closed but mine moving like normal): And comment on this post to let us know what you think you’ll spend your Capital One miles on! C: Wow, Socky. You are a really good ventriloquist! S: Thank you.

William Cronon is a professor of history at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, and he recently wrote an op-ed for the New York Times that placed the recent labor troubles in Wisconsin in historical context — he explained how many of the progressive policies in that state were actually the product of Republican lawmakers, that the state has long been a battleground between the progressive and conservative wings of the Republican party, and that a good part of the liberalism in the state is due to a reaction against the autocratic hand of Joe McCarthy, who violated the traditions of the state and its people and basically inspired a lot of revulsion. And it concludes by pointing out that Governor Walker is making the same mistakes as McCarthy, forgetting the lessons of good government.

It's a great essay, even-handed and informed, and reminded me that yes, once upon a time, Republicans weren't the party of insane corporate tools who got their instructions direct from god, and that there are common principles of good government that liberals and conservatives could agree on.

The response has been interesting (in the sense of the Chinese curse) for Cronon. The Wisconsin Republican party is dunning him with an open records request demanding all emails that he has received mentioning any of the players in the recent labor conflicts in Wisconsin. Why? Because they're planning a witch hunt with Cronon as the prey, and they want to find any damning connection that will allow them to claim that Cronon is an apparatchik and propagandist, rather than an independent historian with a serious scholarly focus. Cronon himself has put together an analysis of the request — it's an effort to silence a critic with intimidation.

Well, hello there, Joe McCarthy! How nice of the Rethuglicans to confirm the comparison in his op-ed for him.

You should read Cronon's own discussion, but also, Gary Farber has assembled a thorough discussion of the tangled path from history professor to stage-prop villain. His greatest crime may have been exposing to the light of day a quiet organization, ALEC, that has been drafting the most conservative legislation for our government in collaboration with the wealthiest corporations in the country.

You just knew there was going to be a connection to greed and big money in there, didn't you?

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Alec Baldwin is obviously the favorite here, winning three of the past four years (losing in 2009 to David Duchovony's brilliant first season of 'Californication.'). And he had another great season on '30 Rock' last year. So you've got to think he's the guy to beat. But then again, Matthew Morrison stormed the stage with 'Glee' last year, and he's definitely the buzzy underdog.

'Big Bang Theory's' Jim Parsons is geekily fun, while Steve Carrell won this award in 2005 for 'The Office.' Thomas Jane from 'Hung' rounds out the group -- he had a solid first season on the HBO show.

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