• Jerry Zgoda of the Star Tribune: "Timberwolves forward Kevin Love will receive the NBA's Most Improved Player award Thursday at Target Center. The team tonight called a 2 p.m. Thursday press conference to make a 'Major NBA Award Announcement.' That can only mean one thing. Love's award will follow the NBA's announcement on Monday that Dwight Howard is the league's Defensive Player of the Year and Tuesday's news that Lamar Odom is its top Sixth Man. Love left town after last week's season finale, but he'll be back by 2 p.m. tomorrow [Thursday] to receive his award for a season in which he often gave Wolves fans their only reason to cheer."
• Buck Harvey of the San Antonio Express-News: "Tony Allen tried. He patted the floor, and he screamed at a teammate, and he was mad at himself afterward. But that wasn’t good enough. For one of the few times in his career in a game not involving Ron Artest, there was someone less sane on the court. That would be the one he chased, and the one he confronted on the sideline. Manu Ginobili. The elbow wasn’t the only part of him that was bent. This is what happens when you put Ginobili in an MRI machine for an afternoon and on a shelf for a week. He’d lobbied Gregg Popovich in September to start this season fast. And when the Spurs did, better than any Spurs team ever had, the cruel twist came in the 82nd game of the season. Miss the first playoff game? When he’d been waiting for months for it? By the time Wednesday came around, he was ready to chew the brace off of his elbow. What followed is precisely the kind of frenetic performance the Spurs needed. Popovich said 'just having him on the floor helped the psyche of the team,' and the Spurs needed all the psyche they could get. Memphis is a No. 8 seed playing about seven notches higher than advertised. ... So Wednesday was the first of what promises to be a duel of wills, and this is the challenge the Spurs will face on the road. Afterward, when Lionel Hollins was trying to describe Ginobili, he said this. 'He’s their Tony Allen.' And while that isn’t entirely accurate -- given their careers and their successes -- for a night the comparison was spot-on. Given the setting, and given the urgency, Ginobili was that mad."
• Geoff Calkins of The Commercial-Appeal: "The Spurs defeated the Grizzlies in Game Two of their playoff series Wednesday night, 93-87. What, you were expecting a sweep? 'It’s going to be a long series,' said Grizzlies center Marc Gasol. 'This isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning.' Which is exhausting, just to think about. And utterly thrilling, too. After a decade of waiting, Memphis finally is getting to experience the best part of NBA basketball. A series. An honest-to-goodness series, with all the bitterness and strategy and flat out anger that comes with it. Those previous three forays into the playoffs don’t begin to count. They were imposters, the NBA playoff equivalent of lip synching. The goal back then was to win a single game. The goal right now is to beat the arrogant Spurs and their infuriating leader, Ginobili. ... So the series now moves to Memphis. The players were already talking about it in the locker room after the game. 'Memphis deserves it,' said Gasol. 'It should be one of the best crowds in Memphis Grizzlies history,' said Battier. The series is one game apiece. FedExForum had better be cranked. 'We gave them hope,' said Battier. Not to mention fury."
• Mark Kiszla of The Denver Post: "Rather than curl in the fetal position after being pummeled throughout an embarrassing 106-89 loss to Oklahoma City, Nuggets guard Raymond Felton came out swinging. Denver finds itself down 2-0 in this best-of-seven series NBA playoff series. All looks grim. But want to make Felton angry? Mention the possibility of a sweep by the Thunder. 'We're definitely coming back to Oklahoma City,' Felton insisted Wednesday, his dare-me feistiness in sharp contrast to the sullen atmosphere of the visitors dressing room. 'We're going home to bounce back, get these next two games, one game at a time, and make it a series. We'll get our confidence back and be better prepared when we come back here. We're definitely coming back.' Talk is cheap. What the Nuggets need is an action plan. ... Nuggets spies in the Thunder locker room after an Oklahoma City victory in Denver on April 5 claim Westbrook was outspoken in how his team would dominate its Northwest Division rival in a playoff matchup. Denver might not win this series. But the Nuggets can wipe the smirk off Westbrook's face. 'I'm not thinking about any negative odds,' Felton said. 'We're definitely coming back to Oklahoma City.' "
• Berry Tramel of The Oklahoman: "Is this series over? Your answers are yes to the former and maybe, probably, almost surely, 94 percent certainty to the latter. That's the rate at which NBA teams advance after going up two games to none in a playoff series. The Thunder has the better team, the better matchup, the better health. Exactly how can it lose this series? 'Good question,' Durant said while studiously thinking about it. 'If we come out sluggish, if we come out complacent, thinking those guys are going to lay down, it'll be tough to win.' OK. Exactly when has the Thunder done that in the last two years? 'I don't worry about that,' Durant admitted. 'We go out and play hard.' In the last 16 days, the Thunder has beaten the Nuggets four times, twice in meaningful regular-season games, twice in the playoffs. The scores have been 101-94, 104-89, 107-103, 106-89. In those four games, the Thunder has trailed 43:19 of the 192 minutes played, most of it in that tight Game 1."
• Jenni Carlson of The Oklahoman: "Kendrick Perkins called it a playoff foul. I have another term for the Thunder big man's knockdown, takedown foul on Wilson Chandler. Game changer. On a night when the Thunder throttled the Nuggets 106-89 and took a commanding two-game lead in this Western Conference series, no play was more telling than Perkins' play on Chandler. Yes, he was called for a flagrant foul. Sure, it came in the first couple minutes of the game. Yes, the Denver swingman made both of the free throws. But that foul was a tone-setter. Perk let the Nuggets know that he intended to make every basket difficult, that Game 2 wasn't going to be like Game 1."
• Vincent Bonsignore of the Los Angeles Daily News: "Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Andrew Bynum. The one we've all impatiently waited to emerge. The one the Lakers kept telling us was possible, but hadn't quite delivered. The one three knee injuries over the past three seasons impeded, leaving us to wonder if he was just an injury-prone 7-footer destined to remain more potential than reality. On Wednesday, he gave us the most convincing glimpse yet of what he is capable of, what all the fuss is about, and it came when the Lakers needed him most. With Pau Gasol still struggling to find his place against New Orleans in the first round of the Western Conference playoffs and the Lakers needing someone besides Kobe Bryant to shoulder the burden, Bynum stepped up like never before. He scored a team-high 17 points, grabbed 11 rebounds, forced New Orleans center Emeka Okafor into foul trouble and was a defensive anchor as the Lakers drew even with the Hornets at one game apiece with a 87-78 victory. It might not be time to throw away all the concerns, doubts and criticisms of Bynum who, for all his talent and promise has yet to break through as a consistent, decisive performer for the Lakers. But it's closer than ever. If what he did is a true indicator of what he's capable of, you can stop wondering why the Lakers always stuck with him, why they resisted trade offers and even ignored Bryant's impatience with him four years ago."
• Jimmy Smith of The Times-Picayune: "The final score differential - 87-78 - translated into a nine-point victory Wednesday night for the Los Angeles Lakers over the New Orleans Hornets, tying the Western Conference first-round playoff series at one game apiece. But in reality, the Hornets left the City of Angels with a victory and one-half, a 109-100 win in Game 1, and a gritty-if-losing effort in Game 2 that served notice to the two-time defending champions that advancing to the conference semifinals isn't going to be the cakewalk many expected. It was a far different game here Wednesday night at Staples Center than it was Sunday, when the Hornets seized control, tempo and momentum and would not relinquish any aspect on the way to a stunning victory. On Wednesday, the Lakers, smarting from an embarrassing loss, turned the tables and managed to, at times, unnerve the Hornets, forcing 16 turnovers (New Orleans committed just three Sunday), and switching their defensive mindset on guard Chris Paul by hounding him with shooting guard Kobe Bryant most of the game instead of point guard Derek Fisher. 'It didn't matter,' Paul said. 'I wish we could have gotten to 2-0, but I feel good because we competed. We competed in this game and we gave ourselves a chance. In order to win this series, it's going to take more. It's going to take more from me, take more from everybody.' "
• Matt Calkins of The Columbian: "The Blazers watched film Wednesday, but players were not made available to the media afterward. Nate McMillan did, however, answer questions -- addressing Roy’s comments first and foremost. He’s sympathetic to the guard’s plight. 'As I said to Brandon, there is nobody in this state, including Brandon, that wants Brandon on the floor as much as I do,' McMillan said. 'There is no disrespect there, there is total respect there. It’s a challenge every time I call Brandon’s name off the bench. That’s an All-Star ... calling Brandon Roy’s name as a backup is different.' McMillan said that Roy’s playing time in Game 1 stemmed from matchups he thought suited Brandon’s game. McMillan attributed the sharp decline in minutes Tuesday to his wanting to get back to the first unit. Marc Spears of Yahoo Sports reported that Roy noted to Marcus Camby during the game that reserve point guard Patty Mills had entered the contest before him. McMillan didn’t offer a ballpark estimate as to how much time Roy will see on the floor tonight in Game 3. 'He’s going to play his role, which is coming off the bench,' McMillan said. 'There wasn’t any minutes promised or anything like that. All of our guys want to play minutes.' Is it a distraction? 'We’re moving on to the game,' McMillan said."
• John Canzano of The Oregonian: "Let's be clear. A disappointed and frustrated Brandon Roy didn't seek out a single member of the media in the visiting locker room after Game 2 in Dallas to vent. He didn't appear in the press room, tugging on the sleeves of writers, either. He didn't raise his hand and ask to be called on at the postgame news conference. Nope. The Blazers guard was approached by a couple of good reporters who asked him about playing only eight minutes in Portland's loss. He answered. And for that, Roy is getting destroyed by fans. He's been called passive aggressive, and shouted down as selfish, and his leadership has been questioned. For what? Telling the truth? Sheesh. ... I'm not sure if Blazers fans are going to give Roy a standing ovation in Game 3, or boo him to Canby. But I know he represents much more now than a player struggling to find his rhythm. His story remains unfinished. Roy's postgame plea was authentic. It was heartfelt. It was born of frustration, not of contempt. And it came from a guy who has done every little thing the organization has ever asked of him. Roy served as the face of the franchise. And he took big shots. And he helped sell tickets. Now, he serves as a reminder to all NBA stars about how tenuous a career can be. Thing is, I believe Roy still has it in him to deliver."
• Craig Stouffer of the Washington Examiner: "Two seasons ago, Gilbert Arenas was expected to lead the Wizards to the top half of the Eastern Conference. Even at the start of this season, he was part of what the Wizards proudly boasted would be one of the NBA's best backcourts. Fast forward and Arenas has only eight points in two playoff games for Orlando, including two in six minutes during Tuesday's 88-82 win over Atlanta. But it wasn't an aberration. Arenas averaged only 8.0 points for the Magic during the regular season. Those kind of numbers place him with the other fallen former members of the 2006-07 All-NBA second team, Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady, not the two who went in a different direction, LeBron James and Chris Bosh. In hindsight, the Magic might've gotten just as little from Rashard Lewis, whose right knee didn't even make it to the end of the year in Washington. Either way, his December switch with Arenas might go down as the least impactful swap of highest-paid players in NBA history."
• Editorial Staff of The Sacramento Bee: "Sacramento's movers and shakers will put on their game faces today and Friday in hopes of convincing visiting NBA representatives that the Kings should stay. Led by Mayor Kevin Johnson, the leaders will point to resurgent fan support, a deepening well of corporate money and what Johnson hopes could eventually be a regional effort to finance a new arena. We find it interesting that the mayor -- whose diplomatic skills haven't always been fine-tuned on the regional front -- is now trying to forge a multi-county coalition. Nonetheless, it is encouraging to see him attempt to build a stronger regional base for supporting the Kings, since it is not just city residents who make up the team's fan base. ... Sacramento's destiny as an NBA city is largely out of our hands. But it surely hasn't hurt that this community has demonstrated its feistiness and 'never say die' spirit. So to the NBA's visitors, Oklahoma City Thunder owner Clay Bennett and league attorney Harvey Benjamin, we say: Welcome to Sacramento. We know you are here to focus on business, but we hope you take time to get to know the people and the place. They grow on you."
• Bruce Arthur of the National Post: "If you’re selling a house, you don’t add a waterslide before putting it on the market. If Colangelo had spent the last four years covering himself in glory, there would be no debate, and he’d be a slam dunk. He didn’t. He’s not. So yes, MLSE is doing damage to its reputation by letting a respected general manager flutter in the wind. Yes, they should make a decision one way or the other, since one little general manager shouldn’t do much damage to the sale price. And no, there is no consensus on Colangelo. He wants to stay. It’s hard to say for certain that’s the right thing, but it wouldn’t be the worst one. But this is Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. There is business as usual, and there are strange times. It’s a bad time for both."
• Gery Woelfel of The Journal Times: "The 26-year-old Bogut conceded this season was a season from hell. There were times, he revealed, when it felt like he didn't even have an arm. 'The more games we had in shorter periods of time, or when we were like at the end of a long trip, my arm felt like jelly,' Bogut said. 'I had no feeling whatsoever in my arm.' Bogut's injury was perhaps the single biggest factor for the Bucks' demise this season. After all, when Bogut was healthy and played at a high level, the Bucks resembled the team many observers had predicted would return to the Eastern Conference playoffs. ... Nobody in the Bucks' organization needs to be told who makes or breaks this team: Said Delfino: 'He's the key; He's a franchise guy.' Who, for the franchise's sake, desperately needs to stay healthy."
• Steve Luhm of The Salt Lake Tribune: "Former Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan has been named the winner of the first Rudy Tomjanovich Award by the Pro Basketball Writers Association. The award will be given annually to the NBA coach who combines excellence in coaching and co-operation with the needs of the media. '... Jerry was unfailingly good with the media and his coaching accomplishments speak for themselves,' said PBWA president Doug Smith of the Toronto Star. 'We’re delighted to name him a unanimous winner.' The award is named after Tomjanovich, an icon of the coaching industry and someone, like Sloan, who understood the needs of the media and went out of his way to be helpful, respectful and accessible."
• Heather Zara of Pistons.com: "Jonas Jerebko is working up a sweat by trying out a popular type of yoga-Bikram Yoga. Jerebko tried out the class about two months ago when he wasn’t quite at the stage of running full out. The Pistons strength and conditioning coach, Arnie Kander wanted Jerebko to work up a sweat and suggested he try the non-impact class. Bikram Yoga is a practice that incorporates traditional yoga techniques in a room heated to 105 degrees Fahrenheit at humidity of 40 percent. Heating the studio is believed to help facilitate a deeper stretch and injury prevention. Bikram Choudhury, the founding guru of this practice claims that the series of postures and poses performed during a Bikram Yoga session stimulates and restores health to every muscle, joint and organ in the body, by forcing the heart to pump more blood ultimately increasing the body’s supply of oxygen. With the room set at the temperature equivalent to that of a hot summer day, sweating-and sweating profusely-is inevitable. Which in turn means staying hydrated is essential."

Ron Wolf drafted seven quarterbacks from 1992 to 2000 in his time as Packers general manager.

As we know, only one played any snaps of significance for the team during that stretch: Brett Favre.

But Wolf had a method to his madness. He knew that quarterbacks, when good, are the NFL's best assets. They can be team saviors. Teams are desperate to find quality triggermen. They'll trade draft picks and established veterans alike to land them.

So Wolf's theory always was that you could not have enough.

Take a look at those seven QBs and what happened to them after Green Bay:

• Ty Detmer, ninth round, 1992: He served as a backup for four years with the Packers and later signed as a free agent with the Eagles in 1996. The Packers received a compensatory pick in 1997 that turned into Army QB Ronnie McAda. (In
• Mark Brunell, fifth round, 1993: Played very little in two seasons with the Packers but was traded for third- and fifth-round picks to the expansion Jaguars in 1995. Those picks turned into FB William Henderson, a future Pro Bowler, and RB Travis Jervey.
• Jay Barker, fifth round, 1995: Barker was cut in camp and never played a regular-season game in the NFL.
• Kyle Wachholtz, seventh round, 1996: Drafted as a QB, Wachholz converted to tight end and didn't play in two seasons with the team.
• McAda: The former Army option star and Mr. Irrelevant as the final pick of the '97 draft never made it in the NFL.
• Matt Hasselbeck, sixth round, 1998: Threw only 29 passes with the Packers in two seasons before being traded to Seattle prior to the 2001 season. The Packers sent Hasselbeck and their first-round pick (No. 17 overall) for the Seahawks' Nos. 10 and 72 picks that year.
• Aaron Brooks, fourth round, 1999: After spending his first season as the third-stringer behind Favre and Hasselbeck, Brooks was sent to New Orleans in 2000 along with TE Lamont Hall for the Saints' third-round pick in '01 and LB K.D. Williams. The third-round pick later was traded to the 49ers in a separate deal.

Don't let the fact that Wolf and the Packers missed on their two '01 picks for Hasselbeck — Jamal Reynolds and Torrence Marshall — or that the 17th choice ended up being All-Decade OG Steve Hutchinson obscure the fact that Wolf continually was able to add ammunition through a decade of drafting to land players that put the Packers in a position to stay competitive for a long time.

So how does this apply to the 2011 draft? Well, there has been a lot of buzz about teams who are virtually set at quarterback — including the Colts, Patriots, Saints and others — looking and looking hard at some higher-round QB prospects this offseason.

The Colts have done a lot of homework on Andy Dalton. The Patriots have brought in a few interesting prospects, including Ryan Mallett and his suddenly unstable draft stock. The Saints have worked out backups.

Really, none of this should be shocking.

Number one, smart teams do this every year. They look at quarterbacks as pieces, even if their starters are entrenched. The fact that the Patriots, Colts and Saints have used low-round picks, journeyman veterans and undrafted free agents to back up Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees doesn't mean they wouldn't consider taking the right QB for their systems — or seeing extreme value and stockpiling talent — if he's available.

The Patriots turned Matt Cassel into the 34th pick in the draft, and they got a good player in Patrick Chung. Undrafted Brian Hoyer might one day be worth a fourth-rounder. The Seahawks were willing to give up a bounty for Charlie Whitehurst; the Chargers moved up 20 spots in Round Two and got a third-rounder on top of that. For a third-stringer!

It's all about perception and illusion with quarterbacks. In a few years, I'll bet that Colin Kaepernick, Ricky Stanzi, Christian Ponder or another second- to third-round QB is turned around and dealt for more than he was drafted for. Teams know that sitting a QB on the shelf for a few years can be a fine investment.

Of course, no one wants to develop QBs for other teams. The Colts, Patriots and Saints, among other teams, might just want them for themselves. The tricky part with Indy is that the window on winning another title is closing fast, so the value of each of their picks — especially having missed on some high-rounders in recent years — is pretty precious. Draft Manning's potential successor, and you might miss out on that second- or third-rounder who could have become an instant starter on defense.

And, of course, there's no guaranteeing that your pet-project quarterback will become anything. He either can play or he can't. Quarterback is probably the hardest position to evaluate.

If teams that are set at the position draft a quarterback, though, it likely means nothing for the starter's current position. The Broncos made waves when they took Tommy Maddox in Round One back in 1992 — when John Elway was only 32. Although the Broncos didn't take advantage of Maddox, they were not dumb in taking him.

The draft is a multilayered operation, and taking quarterbacks is one of the trickier but also potentially lucrative parts of it. Wolf was one of the innovators in this niche.

The article of the day award goes to Larry Holder at cbssports.com. Based on recent draft history, he suggests there might be some magic around the no. 24 overall pick. He thinks the Saints might be in prime pouncing position for an impact player.

The No. 24 overall selection arguably has been the shrewdest and, in turn, the most productive pick of the first round or any other round in the past decade. Sure, not every pick turned into the second coming of Johnny Unitas or even Johnny Appleseed (here's looking at you, Ahmed Plummer and Willie Middlebrooks). But some of the players drafted 24th overall are a who's who of the NFL:

2000: CB Ahmed Plummer, Niners
2001: DB Willie Middlebrooks, Broncos
2002: S Ed Reed, Ravens
2003: TE Dallas Clark, Colts
2004: RB Steven Jackson, Rams
2005: QB Aaron Rodgers, Packers
2006: CB Johnathan Joseph, Bengals
2007: S Brandon Meriweather, Patriots
2008: RB Chris Johnson, Titans
2009: DT Peria Jerry, Falcons
2010: WR Dez Bryant, Cowboys

Me likey this optimistic article. I wasn't aware that this spot in past drafts had been so fruitful. Let's hope the no. 24 overall selection continues to yield great results. Onto the links and tweets.

 

TWEETS:

 

SAINTS:

2011 regular-season schedule coming soon - NFC South Blog - ESPN

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He's best QB to never get into NFL Hall of Fame

 

2011 NFL DRAFT:

moosedenied " Blog Archive " So, what if the Saints miss the Mark?
"*SPOILER ALERT!* No matter who the Saints end up drafting 13 days from now, it's all but a certainty that by the end of the weekend I'll have figured out some way to convince myself that it was a great pick. And then I'll try to convince you. Fair warning."

Saints in perfect spot to land impact player in draft - NFL - CBSSports.com - NFLDraftScout.com
Super Bowl champion to first-round flameout -- New Orleans' fall was stunning. It's back to the draft for help, and the Saints are in great position. No. 24 has proven to be a gold mine of talent, Larry Holder says.

New Orleans Saints Kicking The Tires On A Few LSU Players " Who Dat Dish | A New Orleans Saints Blog

Saints Nation: New Orleans An Unlikely Destination for Mark Ingram | April

Akeem Ayers visiting the Titans | National Football Post
Akeem Ayers visiting the Titans

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Continuing series leading up to this year's draft

Jaguars.com mock draft: 24. Saints
It’s Friday, with the weekend ahead of us and the New Orleans Saints on the clock. The Saints are a team out of the Jaguars’ division, from the other conference, which may have been reasons there wasn’t a tremendous amount of passion among the readers for this selection. And then there’s that other realistic factor: The final selections of the first round? They’re just, plain hard to pick.

 

AROUND THE LEAGUE:

NFL talks end without much progress | NOLA.com
Talks will resume on Monday

Day 2 of mediation begins in NFL, players dispute | Saints | 2theadvocate.com — Baton Rouge, LA

Reviewing film of the NFC South chat - NFC South Blog - ESPN
Lots of great questions in Friday’s NFC South chat. Plenty of questions about the Carolina Panthers and what they do with the No. 1 overall pick

Young Bucs have a chip on their shoulder | ProFootballTalk
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers quietly and quickly have developed a quality team.  And they're a little bit pissed that folks generally haven't noticed that yet. Scott Reynold of PewterReport.

Mediation resumes in NFL, players dispute | NOLA.com
Sides meet for first time since March 11

Around the NFC South - NFC South Blog - ESPN
Time for a quick stroll through the NFC South headlines. Georgia linebacker Akeem Dent worked out for the Falcons on Thursday.

They travel hundreds of miles on creaky buses wearing hot, scratchy wool uniforms, all in the name of entertainment. Marching band members are the unsung heroes of college sporting events, and they remember every bottle (or curse word) you've thrown at them.

The unsung heroes of the college sporting world are the members of your friendly local marching band, a collection of students too slow to play football and too smart to try. Every weekend in the sporting fall they suit up for your entertainment in musty wool uniforms, travel hundreds of miles in creaky buses to strange environs like East Lansing and Starkville, and then play the same five songs over and over again while enduring heat, cold, rain, snow, abuse and the punishing effects of their own self-inflicted hangovers.

Why do they do it? The $30 per diem? The glory of taking a battery in the face from a Georgia fan? The single credit hour being in marching band offers for the academic transcript at many universities? The opportunity to urinate next to a broadcasting legend who saw you come out of the women's bathroom? All of these in part, yes. But the simple truth is that being in marching band is just like football or any other sport: It's a silly business taken very seriously, i.e. the best kind of business there is.

Theirs is a rough and untold story -- until now. We asked readers to share their tales of marching band greatness and depravity, and they responded with an outpouring of histories lost on the highways and charter buses of our nation. From bowl games to bathrooms, kegs of beer smuggled in with the tuba section to multiple instances of the Clemson mascot being assaulted, these are their stories in their own words. This is the oral history of the college marching band.

THE BEST INTRO LINE WE GOT FROM A RESPONSE

Hi.  I was a member of the Rice Marching Owl Band from 2003-2007. I had a rubber duck on my fedora. -- Adam, Rice.

THEY ARE COWBOYS, ON BRASS HORSE THEY RIDE: THE ROAD

2008 Fiesta Bowl versus Texas. We were playing a very powerful classical halftime show, with the closer being the 1812 Overture, instead of the traditional cannon for the final push our directors got clearance from the stadium crew to use fireworks. So on the final company front push during the ending fireworks with a loud report are being set off on each goal line. Well, less than 20 yards away from the one pyrotechnic station was the University of Texas mascot "Bevo". The live bull did not take too well to the fireworks and started bucking around wildly and eventually defecating all through his cage. Making it clear that the Ohio State University Marching Band will make your mascot shit itself... -- Scott, Ohio State.

My "favorite" road story comes from the University of Georgia, which I've had the misfortune of visiting twice. Neither time has convinced me that Dawg fans aren't a lower form of life than the rest of humanity. In 2008 I had a bottle thrown at me -- thankfully, it was only a plastic bottle, but this past year someone else had a glass bottle thrown at them. Back in 2006 a friend of mine had a lighter thrown at their face  -- Carter, Georgia Tech.

Whenever we traveled to Death Valley or Neyland Stadium, we had to enact road protection rules. This meant that, as a lady, I had to be positioned on the inside of my line as we marched into the stadium. Only guys could be on the outside of the lines, because, like rabid hyenas pulling down an antelope, UT and LSU fans would attempt to snatch band members away into the crowd. They would also attempt to steal our mouthpieces as shiny souvenirs. -- Pam, Alabama.

Florida/Georgia 2003. We had to walk through the UGA tailgating area back to the band buses. Tired of being harassed and barked at, our director formed a marching block with the drumline in front and sousaphones lining the outer edge, protecting the wee woodwind players on the inside. Our band director was literally throwing drunk bulldog fans aside while the drummers rammed others. The entire marching band had to march OVER a few of the victims. -- Jordan, Florida.

Williams-Brice stadium in Columbia is one of the weirdest places in the SEC. I have a harrowing tale of the men's room under the visiting band seats. After halftime the Gamecocks gave us each a water and an apple in 2006. It was a Thursday night game, and everyone had to drink quickly to mimic a Saturday atmosphere, so what happened when I went to the restroom during the 15 minutes Auburn held the ball in the 3rd quarter ... and found a guy and his girlfriend behind the partition separating the urinals from the entrance and the regular stalls.

She had no qualms about making sure even though Auburn won, he would be the happiest Cock on earth. He high-fived guys who finished their business at the urinals and only after CSC Event staff showed up and took cell phone pictures did the guy and the girl leave the restroom in shame.. .and probably went to the Cockabooses to finish. -- Darren, Auburn.

First was my trip to South Carolina in 1992. The game was right after the almost team revolt against the head coach (Sparky Woods???, I know he later became our OC and sucked donkey balls). Steve Tanneyhill was the quarterback. Anyway, we are sitting in the stands probably 2 hours before the game.  All of the sudden, over the PA system we hear this announcement:

"Don't forget Gamecock fans, next week is Cock Fest 92!"

I nearly peed myself laughing so hard. -- Andrew, South Carolina.

Another memorable moment was marching into Death Valley while being followed by a particularly inbred looking cajun gnawing on fried alligator yelling "TIGAH BAIT TIGAH BAIT TIGAH BAIT" -- Jordan, Florida.

2003. We roll into Baton Rouge with probably 45% of the regular State Troopers of Louisiana all the way from the Lousiana border to Baton Rouge. The one finger salutes begin promptly. When the buses turn the corner to park near Tiger Stadium, tailgating LSU fans begin throwing ziploc bags of urine at our bus windows. -- Darren, Auburn.

A friend of mine, JDH, was leaving the field after our halftime performance in 2003 in Sanford Stadium to the GEORGIA-labeled end-zone, which is directly in front of the Fans with Disabilities Section. At any rate, one proud UGA fan shout at JDH "Stop playing your gay songs. Look at the SCORE!" JDH replied, "Look at your legs."  The guy was a dwarf who replied simply with silence and then a shout of "GO DAWGS!" -- Darren, Auburn

THE ONE WHERE THE BOISE STATE BAND DIRECTOR HAS A HEART ATTACK ON THE FIELD AND MISSES A FEW HOURS OF WORK.

In the closing moments of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl between Boise State and Oklahoma, as Ian Johnson sealed the Broncos' win with "Statue Left", the entirety of Bronco Nation in attendance was in a state of bedlam. The majority of young fans in the area near the Boise State University Blue Thunder Marching Band rushed to the front of the stands hoping for an opportunity to rush the field. In the madness the director of the BSUBTMB, David A. Wells (RIP), a 60-something former chain smoking wildman, was crushed against the barrier and suffered a heart attack.

There was confusion all around as the people trying to get the director to an ambulance struggled to clear a path through those celebrating the victory. Once he was out and en route to the hospital the band went about its business of packing up and exiting University of Phoenix Stadium with a potpourri of mixed emotions. We were all concerned for Dave's health, elated by the glorious triumph of our football team, and angry with Dave for not letting us enjoy the victory.

After our buses were packed we drove to the hospital where, after a short wait, Dave emerged to accompany us on our flight back to Boise. When we reached the band hall in Boise at approximately 4 a.m. we spent 2 hours checking in our equipment and uniforms, all the while Dave marched around barking orders as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

He would never admit to the heart attack, saying only that he was slightly stunned by the stampeding fans. Those close to him knew what really happened. He died 2 years later, but David A. Wells will always be an inspiration to me for being a tough SOB. -- David, Boise State.

FURTHER TALES OF THE GLORIOUS ROAD

2002 Bedlam Game. Game ends and everyone rushes the field and proceeds to tear down the goal posts. We had to stay in our seats for "our safety" and it was here that I witnessed the three best representations of OSU. 1 - The dude with his 4 or 5 year old on his shoulders with both of them flipping us off. 2 - The OSU student with a shirt that read: "You can't spell C_cks_cker without OU" without realizing that you couldn't spell it without OSU. 3 - The people who had one of the uprights tried to launch it into the band. -- Matt, Oklahoma

Fall 2001. My freshman year. The University of South Carolina @ Mississippi State was the Thursday night ESPN Game, and the first televised football game after 9/11. So there's this moment of silence before the game, and this being my first away trip out of the box I was really impressed that everyone in the stadium was actually silent. It really was, which is why you could hear one guy from the crowd yell with a fine Mississippi accent "You go to hell Bin Laden." -- Jason, South Carolina.

New Orleans 2007 - Witnessed Albert the Alligator (not in costume) get arrested for drunk and disorderly (quite a feat on Bourbon St). The cheer squad coach asked the tallest band member to fill in at the bball game because we hadn't bailed him out yet. -- Jordan, Florida

The 2007 Sugar Bowl. Notre Dame played LSU that year in what was the first Sugar Bowl to be played in the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina. The New Year's celebration on Bourbon Street was epic; at least half the band probably slept curled up next to the toilet afterwards, trying to keep down that last hand grenade. 

But the highlight (lowlight?) of the trip happened when we visited a flood-ravaged Catholic school in the Lower Ninth Ward for a public rehearsal and photo op. The fine parent volunteers of the school were nice enough to prepare several hundred pounds of jambalaya for our post-rehearsal dinner, as well as procure several dozen cases of PBR for our refreshment. However, our image-conscious director became worried that someone might snap a photo of a band member with beer in hand, so none of us were allowed to have any at all. As the PBR was carted away, the attitude of the band quickly turned to this:

Sure, they didn't destroy the beer, and it probably found a good home in the end.  But you don't know frustration until you see 400 college students denied several free beers apiece.  Daggers. -- Greg, Notre Dame.

My bus always did the Gator chomp as we got close to road stadiums to count how many middle fingers we could get. While Tennessee fans made a valiant attempt, Miami fans far and away won the title.--David, Florida.

GO BACK TO CUBA

In 2007, Miami played FSU in Tally. Instead of being dropped off next to the stadium, our bus dropped us off into a parking lot a quarter mile away, with the path to Doak Campbell lying straight through one of the tailgating zones. Our promised police escort was nowhere to be found.

As we lined up and got ready, a band of rednecks addressed us with a bullhorn from the back of a pickup truck. " No speaky spanish" "We no serve rice and beans" "Go back to Cuba". We moved the sousas into a position to surround the dancers so as to avoid groping, and marched straight through. At least a half dozen Seminoles tried to break the ranks. Somehow, most of them ended up getting hit by large pieces of metal. Once we got to the stadium, the staff couldn't unlock the gate to let us in. As we waited en masse, from the upper levels of the stadium, full cups of coke rained down on us.

Kirby Freeman led Miami to a comeback victory. In our next game, against a horrid NC State team, he went 1-14. With 3 interceptions. -- Daniel, Miami.

Rice vs. Texas A&M, 1973. Rice had only changed to the scatter band format a few years prior, and the Aggies are of course not known for having a sense of humor. So, when the band performed a show that involved goose-stepping, parodying the A&M fight song, and making a joke about Reveille while in the form of a fire hydrant, the reaction was unpleasant.  When Rice ended up winning the game, irate A&M fans barricaded the band inside the tunnel of the stadium until Rice food service trucks were called in to smuggle the band away from the angry Aggies. -- Adam, Baylor.

1996 Alabama at Tennessee which was my first road trip with the band and my first time to Neyland Stadium. My best friend, Steve, who was also in the band had gotten food poisoning that morning and was barfing in a garbage bag all the way there on the bus. Once we arrived to the stadium it was clear Steve was not going to make it into the stadium to march. However, his hatred for the Vols ran deep and he wouldn't be denied the opportunity to at least deface the stadium. 

So we helped him off the bus to the closest structure connected to Neyland and he commenced to throwing up all over it with Vol fans watching in horror. He was in full uniform by the way.  The rest of us started a big Rolllllll Tide Roll cheer as Steve continued to administer the Technicolor yawn to that God forsaken place. 

Alabama lost a close game to the Vols 20-13. As I was leaving the stadium in a very depressed state, a group of Vol fans saw me and said "You guys did a great job" and one of the guys held out his hand to shake mine. As I went for the shake he pulled away and said "F-- YOU, GO VAAAWWWLS!" 

I still feel like Steve got the last laugh though. -- Brad, Alabama

SECRET TRADITIONS AND OCCULT KNOWLEDGE.

At South Carolina there is a tradition, recently in jeopardy, to sing a song when the game is won or a victory is certain and only time is a factor. It is a game entirely of double entendre where a chant is met by an act. Examples: "Let me see you show your nuts" = you raise your hands and scream, "let me see you jack it off" = open and close band jackets in rhythm, "let me see you roll a joint" = hold elbow and circle forearm in the air, etc. -- Andy, South Carolina.

One thing people don't know is that before running out of the tunnel for pregame, the entire Michigan Marching Band sings "Eye of the Tiger" at the top of our lungs. -- Joe, Michigan

Standing on the sidelines before halftime meant that we had prime viewing conditions for the backsides of lots and lots of incredibly toned men wearing white pants, which by the second quarter had become transparent due to sweat. -- Pam, Alabama.

People may not realize that the UAA gives cash per diem to band members on road trips. (At least when I was there.) And that as a work-study employee of the band office I was sent to retrieve said cash prior to a full band road trip. Which means I then walked across campus with approximately $10,000 in cash in a backpack. At the time that would've paid for a brand new car ... or a linebacker. -- Beth, Florida.

This might no longer be the case but at certain booster events, especially the Beat Texas Party, where we would play you might get a few twenty-dollar handshakes.--Matthew, Oklahoma.

Marching Band people are foul-mouthed and inventive when it comes to just about anything.  For example, the University of Nebraska alternate lyrics to "Boomer Sooner":

Barry Switzer likes his ass torn / by a raging Texas Longhorn
Every Sunday to his leisure / beats his grandma to a seizure.
Roamin' 'cross the prairies / all the mothers come from dairies
And the fathers rape the cattle / and the offspring join the Band.
Rape little piggies / Rape little chickies / Rape little puppies / S--- off ducks
Eat my butt out with a fork / F----in' assholes - Y'ALL SUCK!

-- Anonymous Nebraska guy.

The band is the best way to smuggle ANYTHING into a football stadium.  Our bari-sax player routinely carried between a 6- and 12-pack of beer in the bell of his horn. Our tuba/bass drum cases could (and did) hide a keg quite easily. The other secret is that band people will steal anything not nailed down. Once at women's ACC tournament in Charlotte we stole a 15 foot tall inflatable something-or-other from in front of a liquor store even though we had no use for it and no good place to stash it on the bus. -- Todd, Georgia Tech.

Every marching band has a dealer. At noon games in the Florida sun in wool uniforms, sometimes the dealer doesn't make it through the halftime show and needs to be resuscitated by paramedics. -- Daniel, Miami.

SAVAGE VIOLENCE! (AND PEOPLE ATTACKING THE CLEMSON TIGER)

This one isn't mine, it's just a legend that has been passed down the Georgia Tech band for more than a decade. Tech at Clemson, sometime in mid-90s. 8-ball the Clemson Tiger and our mascot Buzz got into a mascot fight. Then Clemson's other mascot got into it and the two tigers started ganging up on Buzz. This was too much for one of the RATs, who charged out of the band section, onto the field, and tackled one of the tigers, before climbing back into the stadium seats. Somehow, his RAT cap managed to stay on ... right until he climbed back into the seats, causing him to jump back onto the field before returning to the band. And when security inevitably came .... the directors disavowed any knowledge of him or his location. They ALWAYS protect the band .... even when we're the ones doing something stupid. -- Carter, Georgia Tech.

The best story I can come up with is from the 1996 game between Ga Tech and Climpsun (@ Climpsun).  The tiger mascot was antagonizing the band so one of my fraternity brothers offhandedly mentioned to a freshman tuba player that he should go kick that tiger's ass. It would seem that said freshman was both more amped up and more inebriated that was immediately apparent because he did exactly as had been suggested. 

He ran down the bleachers, jumped the wall and tackled the tiger. He followed this up by pummeling the tiger MMA-style until a props person pulled him off and spirited him away before either the Climpsun cheerleaders or the police could find him.  He got away with it completely even though 50 thousand people saw it happen. The fact that he was the only black tuba player and extremely easy to find just makes it funnier. -- Todd, Georgia Tech.

FAMOUS PEOPLE!

When I was in the band we were on probation so we didn't get to be on television and my last year was the only bowl game we went to (All American Bowl in Birmingham...WOO HOO!). However, as consolation the band did get selected to play at halftime of a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game when they were playing the Chicago Bears. We went down to the field before halftime and stood on the Chicago sideline where I made it a point to stand right behind Walter Payton and Neal Anderson as they were sitting on the bench. After the halftime show we were leaving the field through the tunnel that the Bears were using to re-enter the field and MIKE DITKA was standing right there shaking hands with the band members and telling them "good job". So I shook hands with Ditka ...I SHOOK HANDS WITH DITKA. And when I did I noticed he was wearing suspenders...with teddy bears on them. -- Beth, Florida

Beth also took these amazing pictures of famous person Emmitt Smith and former Florida coach/current Penn State offensive co-coordinator Galen Hall at the Swamp, because remember no one besides the refs gets closer to the game than marching band members. Look at all that marvelous artificial turf! 

 

This is technically a basketball band story, but during halftime of the 2009 Big Ten Tournament opening round game (Michigan v. Iowa) I gleefully skipped into the bathroom, excited about a halftime lead. It was only when I had gotten all the way into the bathroom that I realized it was in fact the women's bathroom. I hurriedly turned around hoping no one had noticed, and none had, but one person: Brent Musberger. He was standing at the entrance, chuckling in a way only Brent Musberger can. He said, "Well that could have been quite embarrassing (chuckle chuckle chuckle)" I smiled, greeted Brent, then proceeded to pee next to him while talking about Morton's Steakhouse. -- Brian, Michigan

MUSICIANSHIP IS A KEY HALLMARK OF THE COMMITTED COLLEGE MARCHING BAND MEMBER

I once got a beater bass trombone from a local high school that didn't want it any more. In terrible shape, I had it repaired to playable (although ugly-looking) shape and marched with it for a few years. I used to freak out the freshman by scraping the bell on the asphalt before parades. At warmups for the Gator Bowl game against Michigan State (Vince Dooley's last game), we ended with the Krypton Fanfare (which was still new to the group at the time, having been introduced only two years prior), which begins with a huge Bb blast.

We played the beginning note, then, as the fanfare progressed, I noticed I was having some difficulty staying on pitch.  When the piece ended, I discovered that the initial blast had blown off my tuningslide; I'd been playing the whole piece without it. God, I miss that horn. -- Michael, Georgia

We thank all those who responded and shared their stories, and hope they never have to wear wool in subtropical heat again.

We’ve gone through several launches in the past two years, from launching the company to launching mobile apps and features, and most recently our re-design to focus on Q&A. If you’re an entrepreneur you can likely identify with pre-launch stress. Your workload is doubled. You have dreams about the launch and what could potentially go wrong. And your developers are in the office until all hours of the night trying to get everything ready. For anyone who’s new to a startup or hasn’t gone through a product launch/redesign, here are our insights on how to stay sane & productive during a launch.

Make sure all hands are on deck before, during and after. Before one of our big launches last year we set a launch date that was the Monday after two out of four team members got back from vacation. We both ended up canceling for different reasons, and it was a good thing we did. While our developers were putting the finishing touches on the functionality all weekend I was worrying about communicating the new product and getting my other to-dos out of the way. Glad I wasn’t doing all that while sitting on a plane. The day after we launched the company in 2009 we were on a place to DC – trust me, you don’t want to be traveling on business while trying to field a million e-mails and respond to technical issues. Book off the week around launch and make sure you don’t schedule meetings or plan trips during that time.

You will encounter technical difficulties. Whether a feature doesn’t work, or the servers are overloaded and the site is slow, something will go wrong that will have users complaining and your developers pulling their hair out. All you can do is communicate that you’re working on any bugs, and ask people to be patient. You’d be surprised how understanding people can be once you explain that you’re a 4-person team.

There will be haters. While there will be some people who absolutely love the changes you implement, there will also be others who want things to stay just as they were. Some people hate change, and communicating the reasons for your changes will be especially important for these people. Make sure you explain why you’re changing something, how it will benefit them, and how to use it. Get all your communications ready in advance – blog posts, e-mails to your community, FAQ, etc – so you can effectively communicate the changes.

Make it easy for people to share their feedback – and set aside time to respond. Like many startups we’re all about implementing changes that are crowdsourced from the community. That means we really do want to hear when people love or hate something. In all of our launch communications we included a link to our GetSatisfaction page, and our support e-mail address. I set aside a lot of time every time we launch something new to respond to e-mails and questions, and you should too. And respond to every single person. Thank them for their feedback, even if you have no plan of ever implementing their feature suggestion. Every time someone writes to you it means they’ve taken time out of their day to make a connection with your company – don’t waste that opportunity.

Don’t miss a PR opportunity. When you’re at a startup you don’t have a huge marketing or advertising budget. Take advantage of any feature additions by reaching out to relevant media/bloggers to give them a heads-up. Sure, not all of them will find it interesting, but I promise that some will, especially if you give them advance notice. Reach out to key journalists the week before you launch to give them a heads-up, which gives them enough time to write something for your launch date.

You have a network – use it to spread the word. Startups are a very powerful network of people willing to help other people. We truly believe that there’s power in numbers, and 10 entrepreneurial minds are better than one. When you launch something new don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends, fellow startup employees, and your most active users/customers. They already know and like you, and they’ll be happy to spread the word. And don’t forget to return the favor the next time they launch something.

Hopefully this helps anyone who has a big launch coming up. Oh and there’s one more thing I forgot to share: stock up on the junk food and coffee. You’ll need an abundance of both.

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With one week to go until the NBA Playoffs, we already know the eight teams that will be the lower seeds when action begins. Which one has the best chance to upset a top seed?

We still have over a week to go until the beginning of the 2011 NBA Playoffs, but barring a miracle, we already know which teams will make the postseason. We also know which teams will be favored and which teams will be the underdogs. The only thing left to determine are the actual playoff matchups.

It's often said that the NBA Playoffs are all about "matchups." This is true, in a most basic sense. Every team has certain strengths and weaknesses that can be exploited more easily against certain opponents. But at the end of the day, the best team almost always win a seven-game series in this league. Give two teams the chance to scout each other exclusively and days off to make in-series adjustments, and the better team, top to bottom, players to coaches, tends to come out on top. 

That is to say that the eight lower playoff seeds will have their hands full if they want to win one of these playoff series. It will require elite coaching and players playing at their highest level possible, and yeah, it'll require a good matchup. No longer will these teams have the benefit of catching the top teams on the second night of a back-to-back or with a trap game in the middle of the regular season. It's a tall order indeed. 

So which underdog has the best chance of pulling off an upset? We rank them 1-8 below.

8.  Indiana Pacers

Record: 36-44

What they have going for them: Nobody's pushing around that frontcourt.

What they don't: Everything else.

Swing player: Paul George has slowly worked his way into the regular rotation, and while he's not much of a shooter, he runs the floor well, attacks the rim with straight-line drives and is developing his floor game. Maybe he bothers Derrick Rose for a game, a half or even a key possession in an upset win. 

Ideal matchup: Miami.

Worst matchup: Boston.

Might as well get the Pacers out of the way first. There's absolutely nothing remarkable about them and their playoff stay will be short.

The guards and wings on this team are pretty overrated. Two years ago, Danny Granger was a rising star. Now, he has lost a lot of explosiveness and struggles to create good shots for himself. His per-game averages still look decent, but his efficiency is down, even though he has better big men screening for him. Darren Collison, meanwhile, has taken a step back after a promising rookie season. Last year, as a rookie with the Hornets, he was one of the trickier pick and roll players in the league. This year, teams have scouted him, and as a result, he's gotten fewer open jumpers than before. His shooting percentage on 16-23 foot jumpers, his strength last year, is down six percentage points.

The bigs are decent. Roy Hibbert has good offensive games and bad offensive games, but you can always rely on him to rebound, defend and provide high-post passing. Tyler Hansbrough has really developed into a reliable player, with strong moves around the rim and a solid perimeter shot. Josh McRoberts has a weird game, but he provides a lot of hustle plays, and Jeff Foster is always reliable whether he plays five minutes or 25. 

But still, their playoff stay will be short-lived. I don't expect a sweep, because they're tough to prepare for with their idiosyncratic fast-paced style, but I do expect five boring games against Chicago.

7.  New Orleans Hornets

Record: 45-33

What they have going for them: Chris Paul can still dominate when he feels like it, and they defend the heck out of you.

What they don't: Can anyone on that roster score?

Swing player: Trevor Ariza is just horrible offensively, but he's the kind of player whose defensive skills really shine in the playoffs.

Ideal matchup: Oklahoma City.

Worst matchup: L.A. Lakers.

The Hornets have one way of winning: keep defending, hope you lose your offensive composure and get just enough offense to get by. This was true with David West healthy, and it's true with him sidelined due to injury. The Hornets have plugged newcomer Carl Landry into West's spot and haven't really lost much. West's injury will be a big deal in crunch time, when he was their default late-game option with Paul being in a season-long funk (more on this in a minute), but otherwise, they won't miss him much. They won games with their defense and a cringe-worthy offense before; they'll have to do the same if they want to win in April. 

And I suspect Chris Paul won't do enough to change that. I don't know whether it's injury, terrible teammates or him tuning out due to his teams' situation, but Paul isn't the same player he once was. Oh sure, his numbers are still phenomenal, but he takes way more possessions off, and worse, he can't get into the lane like he once did. Watching him against Houston the other night, a game where he quite literally willed his team to victory, was actually kind of frustrating. Why wasn't he doing that in all those February game the Hornets dropped? I just don't think Hornets fans can expect Paul to raise his game much in the playoffs.

6.  Philadelphia 76ers

Record: 40-39

What they have going for them: Great defense, youngsters that don't know any better, old reliable Elton Brand.

What they don't: Any ability to score against playoff defenses in the halfcourt.

Swing player: Lou Williams' health changes a lot here. If he can return healthy and be the same player he was all season, the 76ers may be able to manufacture enough points to scare somebody.

Ideal matchup: I still think it's Boston, despite Tuesday's loss. Maybe Chicago.

Worst matchup: Miami. 

The 76ers are a great story. Doug Collins has been a much happier and more effective coach than anywhere before, nurturing and getting the most out of his young talent. Elton Brand and Andre Iguodala have had bounce-back years. Jrue Holiday, Thaddeus Young, Jodie Meeks and Spencer Hawes (average age: 21.75) have grown into their roles beautifully. They change ends faster than anyone in the league not named the Thunder, they space the floor well and there's never a moment when they run your sets and you think someone is giving less than maximum effort.

But I just don't see anything different stylistically with this team than the 2008 and 2009 clubs that pushed their first-round opponents to six games before their half-court offensive limitations showed. Most of those transition buckets they get will evaporate as the tempo slows. Just look at the way the Celtics dropped everyone back on this play after a baseline jumper by Jermaine O'Neal on Tuesday.

The corner baseline jumper is a prime running opportunity, and Boston didn't even bother to go for the rebound to prevent that transition game from kicking into high gear. The Sixers will see a lot of that in the playoffs.

That means they need to score in the halfcourt, and while I love Holiday's potential, I don't trust him, at 20 in his first NBA playoffs series, to be able to make the right decisions consistently enough. When the 76ers needed a good possession down two to the Knicks with under two minutes left, Holiday tried to score on two defenders and had his shot blocked, all while Brand was wide open underneath the hoop.

He's 20; these things happen. But if I'm Collins, I'm giving Iguodala the ball as the offensive initiator more often than ever. That's their only chance, and it's not a good one.

5.  Portland Trail Blazers

Record: 45-33

What they have going for them: Size, length and lineup flexibility that no other team other than Denver possesses.

What they don't: They're a jump-shooting team.

Swing player: Will Brandon Roy be an asset or liability? I'm leaning liability, but you never know.

Ideal matchup: Dallas. 

Worst matchup: Oklahoma City. 

Portland looks like a scary team, but a lot of it that is misleading. The Blazers have a pretty great eight-man rotation on paper. Andre Miller and Brandon Roy provide enough playmaking. Wes Matthews, Nicolas Batum and Rudy Fernandez provide deep shooting. Gerald Wallace, Batum and Matthews provide excellent perimeter defense. LaMarcus Aldridge provides the post scoring, Marcus Camby provides the defensive glue and Wallace gives them an athletic spark they haven't had in the past. 

The problem is that Portland is an extreme jump-shooting team, prone to go cold at any moment. It happened on Tuesday in an embarrassing loss to Golden State, and as Blazers Edge pointed out afterwards, it has happened a lot all season. Only one playoff team (Atlanta) has a lower free-throw rate than the Blazers do, and that's a problem because it means they have to bomb away from three-point range whether the shots are going down or not. 

There's also the reality that, as good a coach as Nate McMillan has been in the regular season, he's struggled to make in-series adjustments in each of the last two years. A good defensive team -- like, say, Dallas, the Lakers or San Antonio -- can take away Aldridge's post-ups and Wallace's transition opportunities. That means Portland's offense turns into one of two things: Andre Miller trying to make something out of nothing (which he can't do like he used to) or a series of three-pointers. A lot of these issues would be fixed if Roy was healthy, because he used to be able to put his head down and get to the free-throw line. Sadly, that Roy went extinct a year and a half ago. 

Portland's length won't make life easy for whoever they face, and they do match up particularly well with Dallas, but I can't see them winning a playoff series in this state.

4.  Atlanta Hawks

Record: 44-34

What they have going for them: Al Horford and Josh Smith can now both shoot, which makes them tough covers for anyone in transition and in the half court.

What they don't: Their offense is awful, especially when Joe Johnson dribbles a lot.

Swing player: The Hawks got Kirk Hinrich for these games. He needs to deliver.

Ideal matchup: Orlando.

Worst matchup: Miami.

Everyone kind of wants the Hawks to go away, including many Hawks fans, as it were. We've seen this story before in the last two playoffs, and it's not pretty. This year's team may be the worst good team ever, given the discrepancy between their record and their ghastly point differential.

Ironically, though, Atlanta catches a break with its first-round matchup. The Hawks are locked into a first-round series with Orlando, and they've played Orlando really well this year. Last year, of course, Orlando destroyed the Hawks in one of the most lopsided playoff series ever, but this year, the Hawks are 3-1 against the Magic, and have held Dwight Howard to 43 percent shooting. Jason Collins almost never does anything against any other team, but he frustrates Howard better than anyone in the East now that Kendrick Perkins is in Oklahoma City. With Howard neutralized to some degree, Atlanta has been able to win ugly, using its advantage at every other position.

I don't know if that happens for them in the playoffs, mostly because I have no idea how they'll be able to score against Orlando's defense. But whereas the Hawks would have no chance against Boston or Miami, they have some chance against this year's Orlando team. 

 

3.  Memphis Grizzlies

Record: 44-34

What they have going for them: Elite perimeter defense, elite interior defense.

What they don't: Playoff experience, perimeter scoring.

Swing player: Tony Allen has the potential to swing any series, but O.J. Mayo also has a chance to rebuild his reputation and be the Grizzlies' answer to Lou Williams in Philadelphia.

Ideal matchup: San Antonio. 

Worst matchup: Memphis is a combined 10-6 against the West's top four, so no matchup is truly bad. But if I had to pick one, I'd pick the Lakers, with their size.

If I'm San Antonio, Dallas or Oklahoma City, this is the last team I want to see. The Grizzlies have been a remarkable story this year, given their success after Rudy Gay went down with a season-ending injury in February, but they're also going to be a really tough out come playoff time. That 10-6 record against the West's top four spoke volumes to me, as did their 4-1 record since Gay went down.

From afar, it simply looks like Memphis was a young team that made natural, incremental improvements after a decent season in 2010, but that's not true at all. Last year's Grizzlies team was awful defensively. This year's team, though, is 10th in defensive efficiency and the leader in creating turnovers. The Grizzlies have excellent pick and roll coverage, tremendous perimeter defense fueled by the wacky Tony Allen (the modern-day Ron Artest, without the offense) and excellent defensive rebounding with Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph. They aren't great offensively, but Mike Conley has become a solid pick and roll player and Randolph can always be counted on to score and rebound in the post.

This is also the kind of defense that holds up come playoff time. Allen is the perfect man to throw on an opposing teams' top perimeter threat, as he's one of the few players in the league who can take that guy out of the game all by himself. Shane Battier, acquired in a midseason trade, is also there, ensuring that every perimeter shot is well-contested. Gasol's pick and roll coverage is excellent for a big man, and if the Grizzlies need more athleticism, they can put in Darrell Arthur to trap ballhandlers more effectively. This isn't a team that merely worked harder during the doldrums of the regular season than their opponents. This is a team with elite individual defenders and a sound commitment to their schemes. 

They might not be able to score enough, but as long as that defense is in place, they'll be a handful. San Antonio, in particular, has to be praying the Grizzlies move up beyond the No. 8 seed.

2.  New York Knicks

Record: 40-38

What they have going for them: Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire. When the going gets tough offensively, those two are as good as any in the league in making something happen.

What they don't: Defense, size and depth.

Swing player: Toney Douglas is a bit trigger-happy, but he's also aggressive on both ends of the court. He could absolutely win the Knicks a game, especially at home with the Madison Square Garden crowd chanting his name.

Ideal matchup: Miami. 

Worst matchup: Boston.

I don't care how uneven the Knicks' play has been. I don't care how awful they project to be defensively. As long as they have Anthony, Stoudemire and Billups, they are dangerous.

Guys like Anthony are so much more valuable in the playoffs, when tempo slows and bad shots aren't really bad shots anymore. The frustrating thing about Anthony is that he'll settle for the 18-foot contested pull-up jumper when better shots are available. But in the playoffs, many of those other shots aren't available because defenses take them away. When that happens, you need someone who can create something, and Anthony can do that better than almost anyone. Stoudemire, too, is a really tough cover, so long as the Knicks go to him more often than they have been going to him recently.

The other big thing to consider is the home court factor. I think it's safe to say that Game 3 at Madison Square Garden is going to have an electric atmosphere, given the Knicks' recent history. Anthony, Stoudemire and Billups are good enough to steal one of the first two games of a series on the road if they get hot, kind of like they did in this game against the Heat. If that happens, do you really want to be the higher seed coming to MSG for a Game 3 with that kind of atmosphere? That's pretty much a no-win situation. If you lose that game, suddenly, you're down 2-1, you don't have home court anymore and you have to beat a team with Anthony, Stoudemire and Billups three times in four games. 

The Knicks have plenty of problems, but no other low seed has this kind of offensive firepower. No matter how good you are defensively, great offense can beat great defense, even in the playoffs. 

1.  Denver Nuggets

Record: 48-30

What they have going for them: With all their depth, they're pretty much impossible to scout.

What they don't: A big-time offensive player to get tough hoops in tight games. In other words, a Carmelo Anthony.

Swing player: Danilo Gallinari, the best shooter Mike D'Antoni has ever seen, is shooting just 35 percent from three-point range this season. But he can get hot at any moment, and when he does, it'll be enough to carry Denver to a win.

Ideal matchup: Dallas.

Worst matchup: I still think it's the Lakers, with their size in the middle.

Denver's great run late is well-documented, and while I have misgivings about their style in the playoffs, you really can't put anyone else atop this list. The thing that makes Denver so tough is that they are such an extreme screen and roll team. They space the floor with shooters, and they have four guys (Ty Lawson, Raymond Felton, J.R. Smith and Gallinari) that can act as the ball-handler. This makes them tough to scout, because if you take away one man on a pick and roll, there are several others who can hurt you. They're also playing phenomenal defense, though I wonder how much that changes when teams try to exploit their lack of size in the playoffs.

I'd be very curious to see how teams defend Denver's screen and roll. Ty Lawson and Raymond Felton are both decent playmakers, but neither are great finishers around the basket. Meanwhile, Denver has gotten to the point where they rotate the ball so well that it's impossible to cover everyone. If I'm Dallas or Oklahoma City, I think long and hard about switching pick and rolls, even if it results in a big man covering Felton and Lawson. I'd rather Felton and Lawson beat me as scorers than as passers.

Denver has a good chance to beat Dallas, and despite Tuesday's loss, I give the Nuggets a decent chance to beat Oklahoma City too. Like Denver, Oklahoma City isn't a great execution team down the stretch, and they don't have the size to slow the game down. But a lot depends on the nature of the games. Denver is going to be incredibly tough to beat at home, but winning on the road requires a hot shooting performance that prevents the game from being close late. I'm not sure the Nuggets can get those kinds of performances consistently in hostile environments.

• Brian Schmitz of the Orlando Sentinel: "Dwight Howard faces a one-game suspension -- his second of the season -- after picking up his 18th technical foul in the Magic's 111-102 overtime victory Wednesday night against the Charlotte Bobcats, a game unexpectedly high jacked by drama and suspense. Unless the NBA rescinds the technical, Howard will be suspended for the next game Sunday against the Chicago Bulls at Amway Center. He would be eligible to play on Monday night in Philadelphia against the 76ers. Howard became upset in the second quarter after he was called for taking more than the allotted 10 seconds to shoot a free throw -- the second time in as many nights that the rare call had been made. Howard rolled the ball in disgust, drawing the technical. He had a free throw nullified Tuesday night in Orlando against the Milwaukee Bucks for taking too much time at the line. His first crime against time came on Christmas Day against Boston. 'I was really upset about that,' Howard said. 'It hasn't been called but once throughout the whole season. I … Other guys take a lot of time at the line. You guys see what happens every night. Nothing I can do about it.' Coach Stan Van Gundy tried to tread lightly commenting about Dwight and the refs. 'They just sort of pick and choose when they're going to enforce it. Obviously, he has to quicken it up at the line,' he said."
• Kevin Ding of The Orange County Register: "Phil Jackson’s approach is not to sweat the standings much until entering the last week of the regular season. So his plan is to take stock of things Sunday before the Lakers play host to Oklahoma City -- and then have their final games vs. San Antonio and at Sacramento -- to decide whether the team should push hard for a certain spot or home-court advantage or take it slightly easier before the playoffs. 'On Sunday, start sorting it out,' Jackson said, 'whether we stay after it, intense.' ... Jackson acknowledged Wednesday before facing the Warriors a study that said home teams in Game 7's do receive more favorable referee rulings, though. Looking at the other top teams in the West this season, Jackson had this assessment: 'Dallas is one of the better road teams in the game. They’re incredible at scoring down the stretch, and their ability to keep the game close and be able to pull it out at the end is kind of noted. San Antonio seems to play extremely well at home. They did have three losses over the season, maybe four now. They’re a very good team on their home floor. Road wins, they’re not up there at the top, but they’re still a good team on the road. There’s a number of good road teams in our conference, but still it all comes down to the seventh game: That’s a big difference whether it’s on your home floor.' "
• Mike Berardino of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel: "Ninety minutes before tipoff against the lowly Bucks, LeBron James was conducting a veritable board meeting by his locker. It was 'marketing' this and 'branding' that. 'Partnership' here and 'earnings' there. Such is life in the rapidly spinning universe of King James. The Heat star closed another business deal Wednesday, this one a doozy with Fenway Sports Group that will give him an undisclosed ownership stake in Liverpool FC, one of the world's richest and most popular soccer clubs. In exchange, FSG gets the international marketing rights to No. 6 in your Heat program. It was yet another reminder this franchise acquired so much more than a basketball player last summer. 'I'd love to see LeBron even kick a soccer ball,' Heat coach Erik Spoelstra joked. Later, LeBron the Ubercompetitor fired back good-naturedly. 'I can do that, too,' he said. 'I'm not as good as the guys on Liverpool, but I can do that, too.' Of course he can. In fact, I'm pretty sure you'll see him doing just that in a TV commercial fairly soon. Or at least he'll be playing a bit of 'footy' on TV screens throughout Europe and Asia, where Liverpool soccer is planning a summer tour. Good timing there."
• K.C. Johnson of the Chicago Tribune: "It's as predictable as Derrick Rose closing out games or Stacey King getting excited during a broadcast. Ask Tom Thibodeau if any one game has more significance than another and be prepared for a one-syllable answer. 'No,' Thibodeau said once again following Wednesday's practice. The subject, of course, is Thursday's Eastern Conference showdown against Thibodeau's former employer, the Celtics. The Bulls lead them and the Heat for the conference's top seed by three games with five to play. Even if the Bulls lose, the No. 1 seed likely will be theirs. But that's not why Thibodeau doesn't believe Thursday is a statement game. 'It's always about readiness to play,' he said. 'They're a very talented team. They're well-coached. There's not anything we're doing that they don't know. There's not anything they're doing that we don't know. It'll come down to how well each team executes. They're the defending Eastern Conference champions. Until someone knocks them off, you have to be ready to compete with them.' "
• Scott Souza of the MetroWest Daily News: "The Celtics expect tonight's game to resemble a playoff atmosphere -- to a degree. 'It's going to be like Game 1 of a playoff series between teams trying to get to the Finals,' Jeff Green said. 'We've just got to come out, focus on the defensive end, and be sure we're ready to play.' 'Playoffs is like the main course,' Kevin Garnett said. 'This will definitely be the appetizer.' Of course, the Celtics and Bulls aren't the only teams at the table. Boston enters the game tied with the Heat for second place in the battle for homecourt advantage in a potential conference semifinals. The Celtics own the tiebreaker there too, but the teams play each other in Miami on Sunday, which gives each the chance to control its own destiny."
• Jimmy Smith of The Times-Picayune: "The New Orleans Hornets clinched a playoff berth Wednesday night with a come-from-behind 101-93 win over the Houston Rockets at the New Orleans Arena. Yet, with one week of regular-season games remaining, first-year coach Monty Williams would only allow himself a brief postgame smile and a satisfying fist-pump aimed toward his wife, Ingrid, and their five children sitting in the club seats behind the Hornets’ bench. 'I told our guys, ‘Don’t exhale,’ ' Williams said. 'We have more work to do.' As they have all season, the Hornets battled back from adversity Wednesday night in front of 12,728, overcoming a 17-point first-quarter deficit by outscoring Houston 80-55 in the last three quarters, taking a lead for the first time with 5:02 to go in the third, then holding off a fourth-quarter Rockets’ push for the victory."
• Jonathan Feigen of the Houston Chronicle: "The locker room was quiet. Other games were on the sets in the corners of the room, but little attention was paid. The room was just quiet enough for the Rockets to hear the commotion down the hall. The Hornets were celebrating. The Rockets sat in their small room and listened, as if paying not so much for the loss that ended their hopes but for all the losses that had pushed them to the brink long before the end. 'We just got to remember the sounds of their team making the playoffs and how happy they were,' Kevin Martin said. 'We could hear them from our locker room. That's all we have to keep in mind throughout the summer.' "
• Mike Wells of The Indianapolis Star: "The wait is finally over for the Indiana Pacers. After five years of trades, off-the-court troubles, a midseason coaching change and a long rebuilding process, the Pacers are headed back to the playoffs. The Pacers beat the Washington Wizards 136-112 and clinched a playoff berth about 25 minutes later Wednesday when Orlando defeated Charlotte. The Pacers will be the eighth seed and play Chicago or Boston in the first round. 'I am just really happy for a lot of people,' Pacers interim coach Frank Vogel said. 'For the guys in the locker room who have worked hard. For the older guys who haven't been there in a while. For the young guys who are going to get a taste of it. I am so happy for our fans. It's going to be a fun ride.' The Pacers had to wait until the end of the Charlotte-Orlando game, which went into overtime, before they could celebrate."
• Darnell Mayberry of The Oklahoman: "The victory clinched the Northwest Division title, ensuring the Thunder will have home court advantage in the opening round of the playoffs. ... Just two seasons ago, the Thunder won only 23 games. Last season, the Thunder went 50-32. Now, the Thunder has taken another monumental march, improving its record by at least two games and its seeding by at least four spots. 'A lot of people are overlooking that,' said Kevin Durant. 'They don't know that last year we were the eighth seed. And the year before that, we weren't even thinking about the playoffs. I think every year we've gotten better…We just got to keep pressing. This is just one stop in the road for us in trying to get to the goal that we want to reach.' That's why Brooks barely mentioned the accomplishment in the locker room after the game. As Brooks put it: 'just basically in passing.' 'We're trying to get to something bigger,' Durant said."
• Mike Monroe of the San Antonio Express-News: "It meant next to nothing to Gregg Popovich, but some of his players were impressed with the fact their coach now ranks second, all-time, in number of victories with one franchise. Popovich has 796 victories as Spurs coach, one more than legendary Celtics coach Red Auerbach. Only Jerry Sloan, with 1,127 with the Jazz, has more. Acknowledging that Popovich said nothing about the milestone to his players, Hill promised to make a big deal about it the next time the Spurs gather for a practice. 'I think I should go buy a cake and come in and surprise him with a cake,' he said. 'Somebody will have to give me the real stats so I’ll know what to put on the cake.' "
• Vincent Goodwill of The Detroit News: "After refusing to enter a game five days ago, Rodney Stuckey went to his coach and said he'd play until the buzzer. In a game deemed by many as more important to lottery positioning than anything else, Stuckey emerged from his two-game punishment to lead the Pistons (27-51) to a 116-109 win over the Nets Wednesday at The Palace. He finished with 22 points and 10 assists. Stuckey's inspired effort, where he played the entire second half and made big plays down the stretch, made Pistons coach John Kuester feel vindicated about his decision to bench Stuckey. In a rare moment of candor, Kuester, who usually keeps his feelings close, explained his thought process. 'Rodney Stuckey is an integral part of this organization,' Kuester said. 'And I think it's important that messages have to be sent. If you're not going to demand, and be committed every time you step out on that court, it's not about one individual, it's about the team.' ... 'I let my emotions get in the way,' Stuckey said. "''m still a young player and I'm passionate about the game. I got punished. Whenever I'm not out there on the court with my teammates, (it's bad) because I want to be out there. I got punished, everything is good now and let's move on.' "
• Jason Reid of The Washington Post: "An argument easily could be made that Washington Wizards President Ernie Grunfeld should lose his job. The Wizards again have one of the NBA’s worst records. They’re headed to their third consecutive trip to the draft lottery and will miss the playoffs for the fourth time in Grunfeld’s eight-year tenure. Even Washington’s good years under Grunfeld were only so-so, his critics would contend. I get all of that. I know Grunfeld has made mistakes in leading the Wizards to this point. Still, it’s not time for a major shakeup in Washington’s basketball operation, particularly because Grunfeld has performed well recently. He has made enough of the right moves this season to warrant continued control. Grunfeld, whose contract expires after the 2012 season, has worked effectively within the confines of owner Ted Leonsis’s plan to rebuild the Wizards. He’s off to a good start in the first year of a project with no end date listed. Leonsis declined to comment about Grunfeld, saying through a spokesman he would evaluate the Wizards’ entire operation after the season. ... When judged relative to the team’s lack of success since the 1970s, what Pollin wanted and how he’s executing Leonsis’s new vision, Grunfeld has performed better than the ledger indicates. Grunfeld is doing what Leonsis asked of him. That should be good enough for now."
• Drew Sharp of the Detroit Free Press: "People can accept defeat if it's the product of an overmatched roster that nonetheless conducts itself professionally. But they will not -- should not -- tolerate child-like petulance. Nobody's angrier than Joe Dumars. This team's personality ran counter to the ethos he has long preached -- work hard, do what you're told and keep your mouth shut. Nothing offends him more than a blatant lack of professionalism. Dumars created this mess. He deserves the opportunity to clean it up with the blessings of a new ownership group committed to bringing a championship presence back to the Palace. You can't fairly grade the personnel moves of the past two years without factoring the influence of ownership instability. These Pistons are an unlikable team. The end of a shameful season can't come soon enough."
• Rusty Simmons of the San Francisco Chronicle: "Warriors point guard Stephen Curry is on pace to the lead the NBA in free-throw shooting and to pass Rick Barry with the franchise's best single-season percentage, but the team brass wants more. 'If you're going to lead the league in free-throw shooting, you might as well find a way to get to the line more often,' general manager Larry Riley said. Curry went into Wednesday's game shooting 93.1 percent from the foul line, which would pass Barry's 92.4 percent from 1977-78. It would also make Curry the first Warrior to lead the league since Mark Price did it in 1996-97 with a 90.6 percentage. But Curry has gotten to the line only 217 times, a far cry from the league's most-fouled point guards, Oklahoma City's Russell Westbrook (601 free-throw attempts) and Chicago's Derrick Rose (519)."
• Ed Miller of The Virginian-Pilot: "Measurables, after all, are not everything. But at the PIT they are becoming a bigger part of the evaluation process. For the second year, the tournament is using BAM Testing, a Seattle-based company, to provide state-of-the-art data for that is passed along primarily to NBA teams. It is a way of adding objectivity to the old, subjective eye-ball test. 'We're trying to help them correlate data,' said Brett Brungardt, a former NBA and collegiate strength and conditioning coach who is the founder of BAM. Teams can do with the numbers what they please. Some might merely glance at them, said Chris Ekstrand, a league consultant and longtime draft expert. Others might sort through data compiled over many years as a way of comparing a prospect with current players. A point guard prospect might be fast, but is he Tony Parker-fast? A forward might have a long wing-span, but is he Kevin Durant-long? While there might be no substitute for the appraising eye of a veteran scout watching a guy in the flow of a game, it's another tool in the evaluation process. At Cradock on Wednesday, the most discerning eyes were of the electronic sort. Timing devices mounted on tripods were set up throughout the gym. 'Look at this stuff,' said Ryan Blake, the NBA's director of scouting. 'It looks like something you'd use to go find a tornado.' "
• Melinda Waldrop of the Daily Press: "As the first game of the 59th Portsmouth Invitational Tournament tipped off Wednesday night, more notable than the players on the court was the absence of several who had originally committed to attend the annual showcase for college seniors at Churchland High School. Butler forward Matt Howard, whose team lost to UConn in Monday night's NCAA championship game, withdrew with an ankle injury, and VCU forward Jamie Skeen, who injured his shoulder in a Final Four loss to Butler, also isn't playing. Others' reasons for not coming were less clear. Among those who pulled out of the tournament are Ohio State's John Diebler and David Lighty, Georgetown's Chris Wright, James Madison's Denzel Bowles, Hofstra's Charles Jenkins and Cleveland State's Norris Cole. Cory Higgins of Colorado pulled out Tuesday, and Kansas State's Jacob Pullen -- who reportedly convinced Baylor's LaceDarius Dunn to come to Portsmouth -- isn't here, either. 'I shook my head,' said Ryan Blake, director of NBA scouting. 'This is the first year that I've really gone, 'What happened?' But we've always brought in (alternate) guys late that have done well.' Blake believes players who aren't likely be drafted in the NBA's two rounds get bad advice from agents intent on signing them."
• Dale Kasler of The Sacramento Bee: "What could be the last Kings game in Sacramento is approaching a sellout. The team announced Wednesday that fewer than 500 tickets remain for the game against the Lakers April 13. Citing 'overwhelming demand,' the Kings said they are releasing a limited number of standing room tickets, including space for fans interesting on watching on TV in the East Lounge or Cantina Lounge on the fourth floor of Power Balance Pavilion. The game is Fan Appreciation Night -- ironic in light of the team's likely move to Anaheim after the season ends. The Maloof family, which owns the Kings, has until April 18 to decide whether to ask the NBA for permission to relocate."
• Lacy J. Banks of the Chicago Sun-Times: "Now it’s Scottie Pippen’s turn to be honored with a sculpted memorial. At halftime of tonight’s Eastern Conference showdown against the Boston Celtics at the United Center, the Bulls will unveil a bronze bust of the Hall of Fame forward. 'It’s so great the way the Bulls have shown appreciation to players who achieved so much for them down through the years,' Pippen said. 'This is the greatest honor I could receive from my [17-year] NBA career.' "
• Ray Richardson of the Pioneer Press: "Timberwolves center Darko Milicic is offering his 2004 NBA championship ring and an all-expenses paid trip to a 2011 NBA Finals game in a raffle to raise money for children with life-threatening diseases in his native Serbia, the Wolves announced Wednesday. Milicic, 25, was a rookie with the Detroit Pistons when the Pistons won the 2004 NBA title. He said the ring is worth 'about $30,000.' 'It costs about $35,000 for each kid to get the treatment they need,' Milicic said. 'I want to raise as much money as I can to help as many kids as we can. It won't be tough to give up the ring, especially when it means helping save a kid's life.' Proceeds for the campaign, initiated by Milicic and his wife, Zorana, will go toward Serbian hospitals conducting medical research on Batten disease, a fatal disorder that affects young children. Milicic and Zorana learned of Batten after reading a story about it in a Serbian newspaper last summer."
• Mike Bresnahan of the Los Angeles Times: "Stu Lantz is staying. The longtime color commentator for televised Lakers games is expected to return for a 25th season, multiple NBA and entertainment officials said Wednesday. Lantz's broadcast partner since 2005, Joel Meyers, will not be back after this season. Meyers will be done after the first round of the playoffs. Neither FS West nor KCAL has broadcast rights past that point. Spero Dedes, 32, will be the third TV voice of the Lakers since Chick Hearn died in August 2002. Paul Sunderland had the job for three seasons, followed by Meyers. Dedes is in his sixth season as the Lakers' radio play-by-play broadcaster. Dedes has not officially signed a new contract with the Lakers to do TV, though it is not expected to be an arduous process."

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Finally! Business as usual, here at Cheap Eats. But before I start talking about sports, there's a little more I want to say about the poop in Coach's garage.

It came with a few sheets of toilet paper on top. And when her landlord found it he said, "Hey, was there a dog running around in the garage?" I stayed in the house while Coach went out to see for herself. She was pretty sure that dogs didn't use toilet paper, she said.

Then they both cleaned it up, and Coach started down that long, rocky road to forgetfulness. You know, at first I was on her side, but now it's one week later and she keeps bringing it up. So I guess that means I'll keep writing about it.

Blame Papa for not letting us talk about football last night, over sushi.

We lost 32-6. Speaking of shit. Maybe that had something to do with why Papa, our Center, didn't want to talk about it. Actually, 32-6 was less than we expected to lose by. This would have been the first time in sports history that a 32-6 loss went down as a "moral victory" — except for one minor problem: they only had six players, and we had 14.

Athleticism is a wonderful thing to watch, even when you are covered in mud with cleat marks in your cheek. I'm not saying that's what happened. We play on turf, so I was covered in little black turf balls with cleat marks in my cheek.

You know how they say that winning isn't everything? Well, neither is losing. Traditionally.

We might change that, but in the meantime the troops remain optimistic and cheerful. My favorite moment was watching our quarterback chasing down yet another interceptor, late in the game, while laughing her head off.

She's a rugby player. We may be the most bad-assedly bad team in the league, if not sports. We have a couple field hockey players, two to three soccer players, a basketball star, and maybe a little softball experience. But only two of us have ever played American football outside of bed and/or high school gym class.

We will have our day. It just might not be in my own personal lifetime.

After the trouncing, I made the mistake of going to Rockin' Crawfish on Lake Merritt with the de la Cooter fambly. As if I didn't already know what it means. To miss New Orleans.

While I was there — down South, that is — I kept sending pictures to Crawdad de la Cooter's mister, Mr. Crawdad de la Cooter, of all the wonderful things I was eating, which included of course fried oyster po' boys with bacon and cheese, and even more of course, crawfish etouffe, crawfish pie, and crawfish.

First he kind of begged me for mercy. Then he gave up on mercy and wrote me about a place they found in Oakland with "passable boiled crawfish." When he brought it up again, upon my reentry, I thought he was trying to be helpful. I should have known he was plotting his revenge.

Passable? Maybe, if you haven't been anywhere near Louisiana for at least four years. Mere days after feasting on Kjean's with Cherry, B.B., and Hedgehog ... forget about it.

I love Cajun. I love Asian. I love fusion. Authenticity means nothing to me. Berkeley has better Chicago pizza than Chicago, and the best pizza I ever ate was in Germany. I'd pit Just For You's po' boys against any I had in New Orleans.

Rockin' Crawfish ... just ... doesn't. Like Red, here in the city, it's like they're trying too hard. They crash the garlic over your head and blast you with hot sauce. And I love both those things but don't associate either one with great crawfish.

The ones I was making love to last couple months, they don't give you five choices. They come one way, with a subtle, more blended and complex zing to them.

It ain't fair, I know. I should have waited four years. Anyway, I'm here. Sigh. My new favorite restaurant?

ROCKIN' CRAWFISH

Mon.–Fri. 2–11 p.m.; Sat.–Sun. 1–11 p.m.

211 Foothill, Oakl.

(510) 251-1657

MC/V

Beer and wine

superego@sfbg.com

SUPER EGO Dear Miss Rotissary Ethnicity Jackson-Houston Ross,

By the time you read this, I will be gone. Europe and North Africa are calling me and Hunky Beau, and after almost seven years of covering San Francisco nightlife for the Guardian, and 14 years in general, she needs a little break (as does her skin!) Don't fret, I'll be back soon enough, in some form, possibly this one, quidnuncking up in your after-dark business. And we'll be polishing the nightlife part of our weekly Guardian music listings, so you can keep an eye on what all the other queens are up to while I'm gone. Or just know where to go for fun dancing, duh.

Miss Ross, I leave the San Francisco scene in the creatively manicured yet still slightly crackly hands of yourself and all the other gorgeous new club terrors who've recently sprouted like neon alfalfa along the gilt gutters of our dance floors. (Although I haven't seen your name around in a hot minute and sincerely hope you're not dead.) Our local, organic, small-batch, sustainable, house-manufactured alternative party scene is the sexiest and deepest and most creative in the world right now. Don't fuck it up, loves. If I come back and it's all loathsome Britney tribute night$ and DJs/models from Vegas with two "Z"s and a hash tag in their name, I will pull out my hardcore OG Detroit techno wig — the one that's really three wigs at once, powered by an ECS RS485M-M motherboard and topped with an abandoned 1930s skyscraper on fire that rotates — and level y'all. To the ground.

But of course before I leave, I have just a few things to say. I hope I've helped break down any severely tired genre and crowd divisions in the clubs, and I've tried my best to elevate nightlife commentary to a higher level than mere celebrity rubbernecking and overuse of the word "fabulous." Nightlife is an art form, Miss Ross, and it has actually saved my life on several occasions. It has a history, and deserves respect and study. But not so much that it ceases being cuckoo bonkers coco puffs Loleatta Holloway amazing.

Finally, unlike some other outlets in this town, the Guardian's party coverage has never been for sale. I may over-gush on occasion, and I'll never actively deflect a dishy bartender's kind attentions after I've written about a party, but you'll always find "advertorial" between "shit" and "syphilis" and "circuit party" in my dictionary app. I may not look like an objective journalist when sprawled spread-eagle at Lombard and Broadway at 5 a.m. with a paper sack of emptied-out Cuervo pints in one hand and a fierce knock-off Gabrielecorto Moltedo bag of emptied-out dignity in the other, but welcome to the new media. No matter how much I adore the people involved, I'd never steer you toward a Mongolian stinkbomb for the free drinks and pocket change, K?

And now, at last, here's a gaggle of awesome upcoming special-event spring parties. Farewell, Miss Ross, for now, and goddess bless you and the children and the children's children and the host with the guest list scrawled on a crumpled-up cocktail napkin in his other pants so everyone gets in free.

Where's my lime wedge,

Marke B.

 

WED., MARCH 30

Salem Oh, hi, witch house? You've caused a lot of trouble among the no-labels crowd. But few can deny the gothic-gangsta spookiness of your haunted electronic sound. Michigan's Salem brings the crunky rap and fractured neo-Orff production, openers Soft Moon and Water Borders will hold the crowd spellbound.

8 p.m.-11 p.m., $12.50 advance. 103 Harriet, SF. www.blasthaus.com

Stay Gold Five-Year Anniversary Five years already? Well, the crowd at this mad monthly queer-jam-centric dance-a-thon doesn't look a day over three — and has grown so huge that they're moving from the Make-Out Room to Public Works. With resident DJs Rapid Fire and Pink Lightning and guests Dr. Sleep, Pee Play, and Durt.

10 p.m., $3 before 11 p.m., $5 after. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

THURS., MARCH 31

Ladies of the House NextAid Benefit All women on decks for a dubby-bubbly event in honor of National Women's History Month, benefiting NextAid, which helps out African women and youth. Icon, Dulce Vita, tamo, shOOey, and more.

7:30 p.m., $10–$20. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

FRI., APRIL 1

Kool Keith and DJ Godfather Raunchy-outrageous alien rapper meets Detroit king of booty tech? Plus two rooms full of glitchy bass and Chicago footwork? Pack me another bowl, because it's all coming true.

9 p.m.-3 a.m., $18 adv, $20. Club Six, 66 Sixth St., SF. www.clubsix1.com

 

SAT., APRIL 2

Blessed Second Anniversary Deep and lovely house with that fantastically rich Oakland vibe — free monthly Blessed celebrates with Australian native DJ Vincent Kwok, who brings a sunny global soul perspective to the tables.

9 p.m., free. SomaR Bar, 1727 Telegraph, Oakl. Facebook: Blessed 2 Year

Emo Spring Break Hahaha, no sunshine for emos, ever, but plenty of fun and sing-a-long emo jams courtesy of awesome '90s retro night Debaser. Emo, screamo, and pop-punk gems await your mopey hairdo.

The Knockout, 3223 Mission, SF. www.facebook.com/debaser90s

Mount Kimbie Dominic Maker and Kai Campo, a.k.a. Mount Kimbie, are kings of thoughtful post-dubstep (and brought down Public Works last year). They'll float heavy at Mezzanine with sultry beat-collagist Shigeto, LA's Matthew David, DJ Dials, and more.

10 p.m., $15 adv. Mezzanine, 444 Jessie, SF. www.mezzaninesf.com

 

SUN., APRIL 3

Beats For Japan A massive all-day dance community effort to raise funds for those affected by the recent disaster. DJs Mark Farina, Claude Von Stroke, Miguel Migs, Fred Everything, David Harness, Oliver Desmet, Julius Papp, and New Mondo turn it up and out. Be there.

2 p.m–midnight, 10 suggested donation. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

THURS., APRIL 7

Big Freedia The omnipotent transgender queen of genius New Orleans genre sissy bounce is going to show you all how to get Azz Everywhere with gin in your system. She played Oakland last year and was seriously on fire. With her smart musical compatriot Rusty Lazer.

9 p.m.–late., check website for price, public Works, 161 erie, Sf. www.publicsf.com

7 Dirty Girls This one looks a clever corker. Curvicious Cabaret is putting on this naughty tribute to comedian George Carlin's famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" skit. One hot lass performing a routine for each word equals "filthy, depraved, perverted, disgusting, and completely uncensored burlesque."

9 p.m., $10. Blue Macaw, 2565 Mission, SF. www.curvisiouscabaret.com

 

FRI., APRIL 8

Miss Blow Up USA The exuberant 18+ monthly glitz-electro night is still going strong -- and now they need a queen (apparently I've been retired). Anyone can enter -- and everyone wins with DJs Jeffrey Paradise, Lloydski, Dirty Dave, and more.

10 p.m., $10 21+/$15 18+, DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.blowupsf.com

 

SAT., APRIL 9

Aprilween Yes, yes, every day is Halloween for us freaks — but not every night is a massive costume party at the monthly mashup Bootie party. So here you have it, Aprilween, with DJs Adrian and Mysterious D with guests Faroff and Squrrrl and live mashup band Smashup Derby. Plus crazy costume contest.

9 p.m., $8 before 10, $10 after. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. www.bootiesf.com

Justin Vivian Bond San Francisco's drag cabaret pride and joy, now slaying them (and scoring Tony noms) in New York City is releasing a new CD, Dendrophile, and bringing a truckload of talent to the Castro Theatre for a scenester's dream of a performance.

8 p.m.–11 p.m., $25–$65. Castro Theatre, 429 Castro, SF. www.castrotheatre.com

 

WED., APRIL 13

DJ Kentaro + Japan benefit I am so delighted that actual vinyl turntables are making a comeback — but one glimpse of this Ninja Tune dude's mad scratch-collage skillness might send a generation running back to Serrato. Proceeds go to Global Givings Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Fund

9:30 p.m.–late, $10. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

FRI., APRIL 15

Mary Ann Hobbs BBC Radio's undisputed queen of fractured beats and intel electronic dance comes back to the Bay — with a fanperson's wet-dream roster: Joy Orbison, Kode9, Roska, Gonjasufi (yes!), Lorn, Ghosts on Tape, and loads more. Sooo good.

10 p.m.–late, $15 adv. 103 Harriet, SF. www.1015.com

Tensnake After a few false visa-issue starts, the German recombinant house prince brings his funky, fantastic, steamy, sing-a-long creations to Public Works. Coma Cat here we come!

9 p.m.–4 a.m., $10 with Facebook RSVP. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. Facebook: Tensnake Live!

 

SAT., APRIL 16

Legowelt Absolutely smoking house with a classic mid-'80s feel from this Dutch "slam jack" artiste at a special installment of the rad Donuts! party. Also check out fellow headliners Miracles Club from Portland for more introspective early house-ish sounds and local spectacle-kinksters Tres Lingerie.

9:30 p.m.–3 a.m., $5 before 10, $10 after. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

TUES., APRIL 19

Bomba Estereo Brash and sexy Colombian electro-cumbia (and rap) band have burned up dance floors and the YouTubes with hit "Fuego." New EP Ponte Bomb samples Technotronic's "Pump Up the Jam" to viral effect.

7:30 p.m., $18. The Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. www.theindependentsf.com

Magical Properties Tour 3 Wicked, knob-twisted abstract bass and visual blasts from L.A. dandy Daedelus, local mensch Shlohmo, and fab Brainfeeder Tokimonsta. The last two installments we're seriously banging, smoke up.

10 p.m., $12. SOM, 2925 16th St., SF. www.som-bar.com

 

THURS., APRIL 22

Lil B Who's ready to get based? You know you are or wish you were. Super-canny Based God Oakland rapper Lil B is probably reaching out to you right now through his 500 Twitter feeds, but I'm telling you about this gig anyway.

9 p.m., $20 adv. Mezzanine, 444 Jessie, SF. www.mezzaninesf.com

The Tubesteak Connection Seventh Anniversary What started as a humble tribute to the gay bathhouse discos of the past has, er, blossomed into a phenomenon over the past lucky seven — as well as expanding its excellent musical scope, via DJ Bus Station John's sensitive yet probing ear, to become a "petri dish of the era's many styles." You'll still get hella laid by a mustachioed hottie and dance your keister off.

10 p.m., $5. Aunt Charlie's Lounge, 133 Turk, SF.

 

FRI., APRIL 22

Fag Friday Another installment of this wildly successful reunion of one of SF's best gay house parties. The beats get cunty and the family, young and younger, comes out for this one. Special guest Tedd Patterson brings some NYC shine, and residents David Harness and Juanita More turn the packed floor out.

10 p.m.–4 a.m., $10. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

PantyRaid and Lowriderz Burning Man sleaze-step superstars return with a mighty rumble and bang to meld crunk and dubstep to an apocalyptic sensibility.

10 p.m.–4 a.m., $15 adv. 103 Harriet, SF. www.1015.com

 

SAT., APRIL 23

Wicked 20 Years of Disco Glory The actually legendary soundsystem has raved through two decades, deepening the original sound into the purely sublime. Celebrating with a full-moon howl will be the original crew: Garth, Jeno, Markie, and Thomas. And you!

10 p.m.–7 a.m., $20 adv. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.mighty119.com

 

SAT., APRIL 30

Bender's Second Annual Toga Party The first time this top bar among top bars held a toga party, it burned down (a week later, but still). That won't happen this time -- the bar is back and double the size -- despite the hot-sheets in the crowd. With the Corruptors and the Grannies live.

10 p.m., $7. Bender's, 806 S. Van Ness, SF. www.bendersbar.com

10 p.m., $10 adv.. Public Works, SF. www.publicsf.com

Mighty Real: Jellybean Benitez The Mighty Real classic house series at Mighty kicked off last month with Frankie Knuckles, and it was breathing room only (and fun!). This time another giant, Jellybean Benitez, joins resident DJ David Harness. Here's hoping he drops some wild freestyle.

10 p.m., $10 adv.. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.mighty119.com

Surefire Sound Tour Wonderful neo-grime, post-dubstep antics from this crew, bringing young phenom Ramadanman (very, very good), Zed Bias, and our very own Salva to the fore.

10 p.m., $10 adv.. Public Works, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

SUN., MAY 1

How Weird Street Fair Yay! It's the first of our major street fairs, which means I can finally run wild and free in my bunny suit, legally. Get stoopid in a good way with tons of DJs, one of the best local vibes of the season, and totally WEIRD entertainment. Theme: "Mythical Realms." After-parties: galore.

Noon-8 p.m., donation requested. Howard and Second Streets, SF. www.howweird.org

Sunset Boat Party Always a tipsy-tyrvy winner on the high seas annually with those Pacific Sound boys, Solar, Galen, and J. Bird.. Check www.pacificsound.net for details and guests.

 

THURS., MAY 5

Devotion 10-Year Anniversary Good lord, has it really been that long for this former weekly Sunday night affair? It still sounds as fresh as ever, energetically house-y with a dash of Latin love, and even though founder DJ Ruben Mancias has relocated to NYC, there's always a heavy local vibe when he plays in town. With special guest David Morales, plus David Harness and Teejay Walton.

9 p.m.–late, $10 adv. Mighty, 119 utah, SF. www.mighty119.com

 

SAT., MAY 7

Tim Xavier How much do I love monthly international live-set techno bonanza Kontrol at the EndUp? Thiiiiiis much, but a little bigger. May sees the Kontrol kids bringing in this intense Berlin musicmaker on the Clink label, who'll definitely keep the adrenaline level up.

10 p.m.-6 a.m., $20. EndUp, 401 Sixth St., SF. www.rtheendup.com *

• Randy Youngman of The Orange County Register: "NBA Sacramento Kings co-owner Joe Maloof, in his first public comments related to ongoing negotiations to move the Kings to Anaheim, reacted angrily Monday night after learning a Sacramento city official had sent a letter to an Anaheim city official advising Anaheim officials to 'cease negotiating with the Kings.' 'It's not for the mayor or anybody (in the City of Sacramento) to interfere with our business. That's what I think they're doing, and it's not right,' Maloof told The Orange County Register. 'We would appreciate that they not interfere with our business.' John Dangberg, Sacramento's assistant city manager, sent a letter earlier Monday to Anaheim City Manager Thomas Wood, expressing concern that actions taken by the Anaheim City Council tonight might cause 'irreparable harm to the City of Sacramento.' ... 'That letter is completely wrong, and it was uncalled for -- below the belt -- and it's a shame it had to come out of his office,' Maloof said. 'We tried to be classy and not get in arguments in the media, but I (have to) make this comment. We will continue on with our business and do what is best for the viability of the franchise -- what's best for the franchise and what's best for the league.' "
• Joseph Goodman of The Miami Herald: "The Heat’s commitment to physical play will be tested Tuesday when it plays at Cleveland for the second time this season. The first trip there was a watershed moment for the Heat, which rallied together amid the harshest of environments. A repeat of December’s vitriolic atmosphere isn’t expected, but the Heat again is preparing for the worst. 'We’re expecting shenanigans,' Chris Bosh said. The Heat arrived in Cleveland on Monday, giving LeBron James time to visit family and friends in nearby Akron, his hometown. 'It can’t get any worse than it was Dec.?2,' James said. 'I know that. I know that for a fact.' "
• Alan Hahn of Newsday: "Desperation turned into inspiration. And inspiration produced Carmelo Anthony's most impressive performance since he arrived in New York more than a month ago. Anthony, who earlier in the day called the game a must win, scored 39 points to lead the Knicks to a 113-106 overtime win over the Magic Monday night at the Garden. It snapped their losing streak at six games and was their second win in 11 games. 'It was definitely a must win for us,' said Anthony, who had 10 rebounds. 'We showed from the first play of the game, just with the intensity that we had, everybody, the starters, the bench. We did a great job, especially on the defensive end.' ... When the buzzer sounded, Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire enjoyed a happy embrace. 'Winning,' said Stoudemire (20 points, nine rebounds), 'always cures all problems.' "
• Brian Schmitz of the Orlando Sentinel: "The mounting odds and the New York Knicks were too much to overcome for the Orlando Magic – or what was left of them. The Magic had only eight players available in the second half, and fell to the struggling Knicks 113-106 Monday night in overtime at Madison Square Garden. They also lost Dwight Howard in the extra period after he fouled out and picked up his 17th technical foul (one more tech and he will be suspended for a game). 'It was tough after that,' coach Stan Van Gundy said. Howard protested his sixth foul on an offensive rebound with one minute, 17 seconds left, and Orlando behind 108-106. He angrily flung the ball to the other end of the floor. 'It was one of those crazy games,' Magic point guard Chris Duhon. How crazy? Duhon injured his right thumb and was unable to play in the second half, leaving the Magic (47-27) with only one point guard -- Gilbert Arenas -- and just eight players."
• Gerry Callahan of the Boston Herald: "Teams go through bad stretches. It happens. Even America’s team, Virginia Commonwealth, lost 11 times this season. The Celtics are going through an ugly stretch right now -- they have lost 6-of-11 and scored 90 points just three times in that span -- and there are more theories for their tailspin than tattoos on Delonte West’s torso. The new guys are still learning. The old guys are pacing themselves. Everyone is waiting for one O’Neal or the other to show up. The top spot in the East means everything to Chicago and to Miami, and not so much to the Celtics, who went to Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals after finishing fourth in the regular season. The Celtics can blame their slump on any number of factors, but there is one thing they definitely cannot, they must not, attribute it to: The Trade. Sorry, but The Trade isn’t the reason for the slide. The Trade is just an excuse, and a lame one at that. When he played, Kendrick Perkins [stats] was an average player for this team — good defender, decent rebounder, and not much more than a compulsive moving picker on the offensive end. All in all, a good role player who was surrounded by stars who made him look better every night. If the loss of that guy is the reason for this funk, then maybe general manager Danny Ainge did make a mistake. He assumed the four stars could carry on without Kendrick Abdul-OlajuEwing. Maybe he gave them too much credit. Maybe they’re not as mentally tough as he thought."
• Jason Quick of The Oregonian: "It wasn't pretty, it wasn't dominating, and it wasn't against the full cast of the San Antonio Spurs, but the Blazers' 100-92 victory over the league leaders counted just as much as any other win, which pushed the Blazers (43-31) closer to the playoffs. 'We won,' said Andre Miller, who led Portland with 26 points. 'That's all that matters.' ... Less than an hour before the game, a buzz started circulating among the Blazers when they saw Parker on the court in a business suit. Eventually, Blazers forward Nicolas Batum went over to talk to Parker, a friend and fellow Frenchman. Parker told Batum that he was being held out along with starting power forward Antonio McDyess because Popovich wanted to prevent Parker from joining the injured ranks of Duncan (sprained ankle) and Ginobili (thigh bruise). Only small forward Richard Jefferson was among the normal starters for the Spurs, who sent out two rookies (Tiago Splitter and James Anderson) and two efficient reserves, sharp-shooting Matt Bonner and high-scoring George Hill. Immediately, Blazers coach Nate McMillan said the contest became 'a trap game' because of the way the mind works, thinking the game was suddenly going to be easier."
• Mike_Bresnahan of the Los Angeles Times: "There were plenty of blunders earlier this season -- and, yes, some as recently as last month -- but the Lakers finally see something ahead of them. It's not the finish line. It's the staggering San Antonio Spurs. The Lakers suddenly have a Texas-sized carrot in front of them for their final nine games: San Antonio is down to a 31/2 -game lead atop the Western Conference after another loss Monday. ... Not all the Lakers are showing interest in the Spurs. 'It doesn't matter to us whether we catch them or not,' Kobe Bryant said. 'We try to win every game. If we catch them, so be it. If we don't, so be it.' Before the Lakers took the court Sunday against New Orleans, Derek Fisher walked past a TV in the locker room just as Memphis was finishing off San Antonio. Fisher showed no expression. In fact, he didn't even stop. For what it's worth, the Lakers trail the Spurs in the season series, 2-1."
• K.C. Johnson of the Chicago Tribune: "As far as Tom Thibodeau is concerned, the Bulls lost their first home game since Jan. 18 on Monday morning as much as they did on Monday night. A sluggish, unfocused shootaround led to a sluggish, unfocused start and double-digit first-quarter deficit, and the 76ers held on for a 97-85 triumph. That snapped the Bulls' home win streak at 14 and dropped them to 32-5 at the United Center. 'There are really no excuses,' Joakim Noah said. 'It's a wake-up call. We don't have anything figured out. People are telling us, 'Oh, you're going to win this game. It's easy.' Nothing is easy in this league. We didn't start this game with the right mindset. And it bit us in the ass.' About the only saving grace came when the Celtics lost again, this time on the road to the Pacers."
• Frank Isola of the New York Daily News: "Mike D'Antoni's decision not to hold game-day shootarounds isn't about rest or X's and O's. Instead, it comes down to rush hour traffic. 'New York's a little bit different than other places,' D'Antoni said Monday. 'I just don't know if Amar'e being in a car for two hours in the morning of a game is the way to go. If we can get a shootaround the day before, if we can get our work done, then I don't think that's the way to go. If we can't get our work done then yeah, we'll do this.' Monday, the Knicks held their first home morning shootaround, which is standard operating procedure for most teams. D'Antoni does conduct game-day shootarounds on the road but has passed on holding them for home games. It's a questionable decision since the Knicks went 18-23 at home last year and were 19-17 entering Monday night's game against Orlando. ... Donnie Walsh suggested that getting the team out of bed for an early game-day workout isn't such a bad thing. 'When you're losing a lot you change something,' Walsh said. 'We'll see if the change helps us.' "
• Herb Gould of the Chicago Sun-Times: "Derrick Rose’s whirling-dervish moves to the basket are the talk of the town as well as the NBA. But the MVP front-runner points to something else when asked about the Bulls’ hopes of making good on their NBA championship promise. Tough defense. 'If you want to win, to separate yourself from all other teams in the NBA, you’ll do it,’ Rose said. 'We have good guys on this team. They’re winners. They do extra stuff. You don’t want to be the one who messes up a practice because other teams are having great practices. That could put you back a little bit. We just try to come in and work hard every day, especially on the defensive side.’ That has added up to a defense that -- before Monday’s games -- ranked first in opponents’ field-goal shooting (42.8 percent), opponents’ three-point shooting (32.7 percent) and second in points allowed (91.1 a game) and rebounds per game (44.4) and fifth in blocks per game (5.72)."
• Tom Enlund of the Journal Sentinel: "Bucks guard Michael Redd, coming back from a major knee injury, played in his first game since Jan. 10, 2010, and went scoreless with four assists in 15 minutes. He missed all three of his shots. Forward Drew Gooden, coming back from a foot injury that had sidelined him since late January, returned and had two points, eight rebounds and four fouls in 16 minutes. Redd had looked forward to playing in a game again for a long, long time. 'One of my greatest games ever,' said Redd. 'To come back from two ACLs. Just to be back on that court tonight. I put up a doughnut but was productive and had a blast being out there with the guys. I hate that we lost, but just to be out there was probably one of the best nights of my career.' Redd got the call early, first entering the game with 9:54 left in the first quarter after John Salmons picked up two quick fouls. 'I sprinted (to the scorers' table) as if I was a rookie,' said Redd."
• Mike Wells of The Indianapolis Star: "I’ll ask this question for the second time in as many games: Have you seen a more confusing team than the Pacers? They looked bad in losses to Sacramento and Detroit, but then they go out and beat the Boston Celtics on Monday. Go figure. ... 'When I’m old and gray I’m going to look back and wonder what was wrong with us, why we couldn’t beat teams like Sacramento and Detroit, but we can beat Boston and Chicago,' Pacers forward Danny Granger said. 'I don’t know, we’re going to have to figure it out at some point.' The Pacers have to figure it out because four of their final seven games are against teams with a losing record."
• Eddie Sefko of The Dallas Morning News: "Consider it good news that the Mavericks' next three games on this road trip are against Pacific Division teams. After they overwhelmed Phoenix at the finish line Sunday night, the Mavericks now own a 12-1 record against the Pacific Division. The lone loss was against the Lakers a couple weeks ago in Dallas. The Mavericks are 3-0 against Golden State, 2-0 against the Clippers, 1-1 against the Lakers, 3-0 against Sacramento and 3-0 against the Suns. Their next three games: Clippers, Lakers, Warriors. Of course, the Pacific Division is looking more and more like a one-hit wonder. The Lakers are among the championship favorites, of course. But the other four teams are all lottery bound."
• Kevin Ding of The Orange County Register: "Because of ongoing misinformation from a variety of sources and skeptics, let me clarify again as the Mavericks-Lakers big game nears: In case of a tie with Dallas in the regular-season standings, the Lakers are positioned in this case to have the first tiebreaker, which would be if one team is a division champion but the other is not. Yes, I did clarify this with the NBA office. I really, really did. The Lakers have already clinched the Pacific Division, and the Mavericks continue to trail the slumping Spurs for the Southwest Division. So even if the Mavericks beat the Lakers on Thursday night to win the season series, 2-1, that would not be the primary tiebreaker in this case. Head-to-head record would be the second tiebreaker if Dallas winds up passing San Antonio and still finishing tied with the Lakers. The NBA tweaked the rule in 2008 to give division champions a little extra pull primarily to avoid a situation where in a three-way tie a team that didn’t win its division could wind up the conference’s No. 1 seed (based on head-to-head records against the other teams)."
• John Rohde of The Oklahoman: "In two games against OKC this season, Stephen Curry has averaged 42.0 minutes, 31.0 points, 9.5 assists, 2.0 steals and is shooting 63.2 percent from the field. As a rookie last season, he averaged 21.0 points, 4.5 assists and 4.0 rebounds. General manager Sam Presti and coach Scott Brooks obviously won't discuss what the Thunder might be with Curry on its roster, which would be disrespectful to Curry, James Harden and all teammates. However, Presti and Brooks freely confirm Curry and Harden are superb fits precisely where they are. Harden particularly has excelled since the Thunder's trades 16 games ago with Boston and Charlotte. The 21-year-old Harden is sandwiched between a pair of 22-year-old All-Stars in Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook on the league's third-youngest roster. The 23-year-old Curry plays alongside a should-be All-Star in fellow guard Monta Ellis. To those longing for a Curry-Harden swap, a reality check: You can't simply swap stats. Statistically, Curry dwarfs Harden. But this is the NBA, not a fantasy league. Players have to blend, feed off each other and make each other better. It's about chemistry, not raw numbers. ... Would Curry also have spurred a 27-win improvement? Maybe, maybe not, but it's hard to argue with what has transpired without him. The Thunder is 98-56 (.636) with Harden on its roster and will advance to the playoffs for a second straight season."
• Monte Poole of The Oakland Tribune: "The music has stopped, the snacks are gone and the party is over. Any euphoria felt by Warriors fans with the fall of the Chris Cohan era has given way to anxieties and debate over the capability of the new regime. Joe Lacob and Peter Guber, the men now atop the organizational chart, haven't been instant saviors. They haven't delivered miracles or engineered dramatic improvement. And with the new Warriors looking a lot like the old Warriors, impatient fans are growing restless. Moreover, clouds of skepticism are forming above Oracle Arena -- directly over the head of Lacob, the managing member of ownership. It's much too early to conclude that Lacob won't find the right answers. That wouldn't be fair to a man who has been on the job since November. It's not reasonable or rational to expect him to so quickly repair and redirect a vessel adrift for all but a few moments over the past 16 years. It's not unfair, however, to wonder if he can repair and redirect the thing at all. By all accounts, Lacob already has influenced the culture at Warriors headquarters. He's asking questions, prodding and probing. It's apparent he wants everyone on the payroll working to improve the product. He projects energy. He said he'd be an active owner and he has been precisely that. But action isn't always productive or effective. Some of Lacob's words and actions suggest he might perceive himself as not just the managing owner but the unofficial general manager. That's perilous territory. ... Clueless or genius is a game fans play with their GM. They don't want to play it with the owner. Ever. And Lacob would be wise to avoid it altogether, no matter how much he trusts his instincts."
• Stephenson of The Star-Ledger: "Anthony Morrow has quietly become the Nets’ top offseason acquisition. He is averaging 13.2 points and shooting 42.4 percent from 3-point range in 43 starts, the most of his career. His career 3-point shooting percentage trails only Steve Kerr (.454) in NBA history. 'I’ve only played with one other shooter similar to him and that’s Kyle Korver, a guy that’s just a dead-eye 3-point shooter,' Nets point guard Deron Williams said. 'Guys like that are a point guard’s dream, because you’re pretty much mad when they miss.' "
• Darnell Mayberry of The Oklahoman: "Kevin Drurant already taken seven more 3-pointers this year than he did last season. And there's still 10 games left to play. AND if he plays each of the remaining 10, he'll still be four shy of last year, when he played all 82 games. The numbers have been shocking. He seems to have diversified his game much more in his fourth season. But his 3-point attempts are staggering."
• Kaye Fagan of The Philadelphia Inquirer: "Let's just take a minute to address this drama surrounding Saturday night's Lil Wayne concert. The details are simple: Lou Williams and a few others 76ers attended Saturday night's concert despite having a noon game the following day vs. the Sacramento Kings. After the loss, Lou, believing their attendance at the concert had already been brought up, commented on it, saying that some guys who went to the concert played well (Jrue Holiday, Spencer Hawes), while other guys didn't play so well (Lou himself). Pretty quickly, this became a very big deal with folks saying the Sixers were being unprofessional and immature, staying out until 3:30 a.m. in the morning, and jeopardizing their preparation for the game -- an overtime loss to the Kings. Before tonight's game against the Chicago Bulls, we went straight to Lou himself to get an explanation about exactly how all of this blew up on them. Later, I went back to Lou to ask him if he really was out until 3:30 a.m. and he denied that, saying he has a kid now and he can't be out all night like that. He seemed exasperated by all of this and didn't want to keep talking about it."
• Bob Young of The Arizona Republic: "Gary Bender announced his retirement from broadcasting Monday, effective at the conclusion of the Suns season. He will return to Kansas, where he attended graduate school and once served as voice of the Jayhawks, to serve as a consultant for the KU Alumni Association. 'It's going back to my roots,' Bender said. Bender has called Suns TV games for nearly two decades. 'Gary defines the word 'professional' in the broadcasting industry,' Suns President and CEO Rick Welts said. 'His class, talent and character have combined to give Suns fans 18 years of great memories and unforgettable moments lived through his words.' In addition to the Suns, Bender has been the TV or radio voice of five pro football, basketball or baseball teams. And as a network broadcaster for CBS and ABC he called some of the more memorable sports moments in history, including Michael Jordan's game-winning shot for North Carolina in the 1982 NCAA Tournament title game and North Carolina State's 1983 upset of Houston that sent coach Jim Valvano running onto the court looking for someone to hug."
• David Rowell of The Washington Post: "When head coach Flip Saunders emerged from the tunnel before tipoff against the Milwaukee Bucks, he had the pained expression of a teacher who had just been assigned to teach summer school. Now Terrance Briscoe, 6 feet 2 inches tall, was stepping onto the court to stretch, gripping the toe of his size-15 sneaker. The shrill whine of Guns N’ Roses’ ubiquitous “Welcome to the Jungle” blasted over a crowd still finding their seats. As if hit with an electric bolt, Briscoe’s knees collapsed, and his arms began to flail to the chainsawlike grind of the guitars. As his hips swung from side to side, he had the look of a scarecrow trying to get out of the path of a hurricane. And then just as quickly, his body snapped back into place, and he sprinted up the closest aisle and waved his hands, which are as big as cutting boards, to see if he could get a few fist pumps in the air. And he did: a few. The Wizards reject the term male cheerleader, and they don’t like male dancer, either. They describe Briscoe as a Hype Guy. But he does dance, and he does cheer, and his smile, which he flashes all night long, is as wide as the backboard he frequently dances behind. And as a man doing these things for thousands of fans every home game, he occupies an exceptionally rare position in all of professional sports. Can we all be okay with that?"

In a Nutshell

Gerald Wallace plays like a man possessed while the rest of the Blazers struggle to keep up as Portland accordions its way through 0-8 point deficits before falling short in the final minutes of the fourth.  Russell Westbrook and Serge Ibaka once again kill the Blazers on a night when Kevin Durant looks average at best.

Notable Developments

Mary Mills, a sharp-tongued will-wielding teacher of mathematics at Grant High School back in the day, used to tell her classes that she didn't get nearly as upset at the students who got 75% on her exams as she did at the students who got 92%.  75% means you didn't really know the material that well and honestly pulled a C.  92% meant that you knew it but you just got careless and lost points.  You should have gotten 100%.  Anything you used to explain that missing 8% was just an excuse.

The Blazers played about a 92% game tonight.  It was enough to stay close but you have to give the Thunder credit.  They knew what they were supposed to do and did it.  They didn't settle for 92%.  They gave a solid 97% through most of the game and 100% on both ends when it mattered most.  The Thunder took this game.  The Blazers probably could have had more say in where it went but they didn't.

Before the all-class lecture begins, Gerald Wallace?  You're excused.  Go to the cafeteria, grab a sandwich.  Heck, take the day off.  You knew what to do.  You knew how to play.  If your 40 points had been the smooth, peach-fuzz, "I'm an offensive wizard" variety you'd be staying here too.  But you played like a man in every aspect of the game.  You knew how to TAKE this away from the Thunder.  You showed the definition of the word "unstoppable".  Nobody wins around here unless the team wins, but the rest of these words would be hollow if applied to you.  Hats off to you, standing ovation, see you tomorrow in San Antonio.

As for the rest of the Blazers...one wonders if they realize that if they could just rebound the ball, something they've done with verve more nights than not, they would have won this game.  One also wonders if they know that fighting through a screen instead of looping way around it and making switches patently obvious might have snatched a victory.  I know that switching is the Blazers' scheme but there are ways to do it and that was not it.  Going back to the first half you might talk about stupid turnovers...passes to literally nobody where the only spacing on the floor was collective spacing out.  Looking at the fourth period you can count all the times the Blazers tied the game but failed to make the killer shot to go ahead.  When the Thunder made a shot Portland responded.  When the Thunder missed the Blazers also missed, almost always on an ill-advised jumper...not the offense that brought them back to the tie.  When the Thunder went 1 of 2 from the line the Blazers went 1 of 2.  Playing just smart enough to get even and then putting up hope shots instead of putting your foot down is a really fancy way of losing in this league.   These things weren't fatal in themselves.  Collectively, though, they totaled that 8% in a game that could have been defining to the good and instead ended up defining a familiar pattern for Portland.  The Blazers are going to beat the Thunder next Friday in Portland, guaranteed.  But that's just the writ large version of the "good enough to tie, not determined enough to win" dance that defined this game.  Even if Portland wins by 100 it won't make them look like the Thunder looked tonight in a game that resembled the playoffs as much as anything.

On the boards, in the lane, on defense, with your steely-eyed shots you have to man up or shut up in this league.  Until they finally cement themselves as a great team that wins this kind of game or a lousy team that loses them decisively, the Blazers need to hush up, grow up, forget everything else, and learn how to win.

Game Flow

Remember in the college football championship game this year when the Oregon Ducks received the opening kickoff and promptly bobbled it and slipped on the turf, looking out of place under the lights?  You knew tonight's game was going to be wobbly when Kevin Durant canned a knife-sharp three on the Thunder's opening possession and the Blazers responded with Andre Miller and Wesley Matthews running into each other while Miller was dribbling leading to a missed three late in the clock.  Portland would follow this up with plenty of turnovers in the first period, including a couple of those astonishing passes to invisible teammates.  Portland did buckle down on defense at the usual cost of leaving Serge Ibaka easy shots which he calmly canned.  But Portland got some revenge behind Gerald Wallace and some fine cutting late in the period.  The Blazers could have taken the period outright had they not fallen prey to OKC's offensive rebounding...another sure sign that the night wasn't heading in the right direction.  The Thunder led 21-20 after one.

The defense and rebounding reached their nadir in the second quarter.  Portland's rotations, never crisp in this game, were downright soggy in the early parts of the period.  The Thunder continued to clean up on the boards, this time defensive.  They'd snatch a missed jumper and push tempo, making the Blazers look slow down the court.  Brandon Roy gave the Blazers some play by posting up Russell Westbrook and either scoring or passing.  Gerald Wallace continued his strong attack.  Those two things kept the Blazers in through mid-quarter.  Then it all fell apart.  The Thunder got clear on screens multiple times.  The Blazers alternated between turning over the ball and shooting it long, which became a de facto turnover with OKC's rebounding going strong.  Nicolas Batum made passes more obvious than the plot of a Paris Hilton movie.  Wesley Matthews made drives more horrible than...the plot of a Paris Hilton movie.  LaMarcus Aldridge rebounded with the same integrity as the plot of a P...OK, I'll stop now.  The Thunder turned a 2-point lead at the 6:00 mark into a 14-point lead by the end of the quarter.  OKC 55-41 at the half.

Nicolas Batum suffered a quad contusion during the second period and did not start the third, a fortunate turn of events for the Blazers.  Marcus Camby took his place and between him, Aldridge, and Wallace Portland's interior defense and rebounding went through the roof.  Easy drives for the Thunder ceased as did offensive rebounding.  For the first time in the game Portland looked ready to rip it away from Oklahoma City.  On offense Wallace was ripping something of Oklahoma City's and it looked downright painful for them.  He drove past them like they were children.  Then he started connecting on the jumper.  Then he started drawing fouls.  GW3 ended up with 15 in the period.  When he hit a three with 1:09 remaining the Blazers were within 1.  Then they forgot to play the last 60 seconds as Serge Ibaka converted an offensive rebound (ARRGH!) into 2 free throws and James Harden made a three following Portland's own three-point miss late in the shot clock.  Despite the amazing first 11 minutes for the Blazers OKC still led 78-72 going into the fourth.

To their credit the Blazers didn't give up.  That's where most of the good 92% came from.  Portland continued attacking through Wallace and continued to force the Thunder into long jumpers.  Kevin Durant in particular looked impotent, missing from 20 feet and beyond.  The Blazers tied the game for the first time with 9:23 remaining in the period off of a Wallace banked jumper during which he was fouled by Durant.  Converting the free throw made the score 79-79.  For the next three minutes Portland played cat-and-mouse with the Thunder, letting OKC pull ahead by a bucket and then getting it back but at no time taking the lead.  Then Russell Westbrook took advantage of Portland's SAS defensive scheme.  For the uninitiated, that would be Stupid (synonym for donkey) Screens.  The switching isn't bad with like-sized players.  But when the Thunder run your 6'11" guys into a screen on purpose and your guard goes way around the pick and Westbrook hits threes...that's wrong.  After a couple of Westbrook triples the point the lead was 8 with 4:00 left.    Portland got it back within 2 with 1:47 remaining off of a Miller steal and a couple of Wallace buckets but Kendrick Perkins scored off of an (ARRGH!) offensive rebound.  After a Portland timeout OKC blocked back-to-back attempts at the hoop by Wallace and Miller then Westbrook streaked for a layup and the game was all over except for the horn.  The Thunder end up winning by 9, 99-90.

Individual Notes

Pop your head back in the room for a second, Gerald Wallace.  We want to praise your 40 points, 7 rebounds, and macho defense.  Oh man, Portland made a smart move in picking you up.

LaMarcus Aldridge shot 8-17 for 20 points.  He had 7 rebounds, 5 of those defensive, none of those defensive rebounds coming before halftime.  Aldridge played well but not spectacularly and he was clearly the best of the rest of the Blazers tonight.

If anyone would push LMA for that title it would be Marcus Camby who stopped OKC's rebounding flow and ended up with 13 boards overall.  Had the Blazers won he would have been tabbed as a major contributor.

Andre Miller at least knew to rebound, garnering 8 for the game.  Thank heavens for that.  He had 5 assists but shot only 4-13 for 9 points.  He posted the Thunder point guards a little but also got burned by their quickness on the other end.

Wesley Matthews at least guarded Westbrook nicely for a possession or two in the fourth period.  But outside of that he was a non-factor in this game, shooting 2-9 for 4 points, 2 rebounds, and 2 assists.  Matthews has a ton to recommend him but experience will hopefully show him how to produce with more than defense even in games when he's not the first or second option.

Nicolas Batum played but 21 minutes because of the injury but frankly he wasn't playing well at all even before the quad got busted.  His best contribution was 2 blocked shots.  Other than that he scored 6 points on 1-4 shooting and had 0 rebounds.  Listen closely here:  plus-minus is an awful, horrible, non-indicative stat unless you use it over the course of a large number of games, preferably 82.  It means almost nothing almost all the time when used on a single-game basis because the number of variables involved are far too great on a given night.  Only averaging them out over a season will yield a useful number.  That's true 99.99% of the time so please...do what I say and not what I'm doing here because this is the other .01%.  Batum played 21 minutes.  His plus-minus was -23.  That is overwhelming.  At some point if a smell comes into the room when you walk in the door and leaves every time you go to pick up a beer it's probably not the tuna can in the garbage.  That's about what happened tonight to Nicolas.

Brandon Roy played 13 minutes, largely on the ball at point, shot 2-3 for 4 points and 3 assists.  It wasn't a great outing but he was putting pressure on the defense.

Rudy Fernandez had a steal, 2 assists, and hit 3 free throws for 3 points in 19 minutes.

Stats of the Night

• Oklahoma City 14 offensive rebounds.  That's double what the Blazers give on a good night.
• Blazers 2-12 three-point shooting.  At least they didn't keep taking them all night.
• Blazers commit only 10 turnovers, almost all given up in the first half.
• Russell Westbrook 28 points, 7 assists, 7 rebounds.  Same old story for the Blazers.

Odd Notes and Links

Brandon Roy left the game with back spasms after getting whacked by Kendrick Perkins.  He's reportedly a game-time decision for tomorrow.

Boxscore

Welcome to Loud City has your OKC view.

Here's your Jersey Contest Scoreboard.  Due to a scheduling snafu in the system there will be no form for tomorrow's game.  The New Orleans form will be posted following the San Antonio contest to avoid confusion.

--Dave (blazersub@yahoo.com)

Welcome to the Digital Viking: The EDSBS Guide to Spicy Living. Published every offseason Friday, the Digital Viking embraces zesty living with a six-part review of the essentials:

--A patron saint invoked for inspiration

--Drink
--Comestibles
--Combustibles
--Transit
--Canon

Diligent study of the Digital Viking's recommendations will increase spiritual happiness and liver circumference. Apply weekly and live daily for best results. 

 

 

PATRON SAINT.

HIDEAKI AKAIWA

You have to roll deep with tenacity to even get on the charts of Japanese Patron Saint candidates, but fortunately Hideaki Akaiwa brings his own scuba gear, knife, and most intimidatingly his own bad ass to plumb the depths with the island nation's greatest indestructible souls. Akaiwa is described as "an avid outdoorsman," a term that in the United States means "is forty pounds overweight and enjoys drinking scotch in a duck blind while shooting spastically at crows." 

In Japan the term must truly mean something, since Akaiwa, presumably unable to get to work at his Demon Assassin Frogman School after the tsunami, turned towards the task of finding his wife and his mother, both trapped in various crumpled heaps of twisted wreckage in his hometown. Akaiwa did not form a search party, or pass out fliers, or even ask the overwhelmed authorities for help.

Akaiwa put on his wetsuit, popped in his regulator, and did it by himself.

He first found his wife stuck on the roof of their destroyed house, then found his mother after she'd been trapped for four days in her house, and then, with little to no rest, went back into the aftermath to search for victims. This is made even more impressive by Akaiwa having to battle mutant rapesharks, the scourge of Japanese coastlines, and the haunting memory of how his master at Demon Assassin Frogman school died doing the exact same thing.

We look forward to Akaiwa becoming the first Ninja Warrior champion to conquer the course in record time while running the entire thing wearing a rebreather and wetsuit. 

To the living which is spicy!

 

DRINK.

Orson: THE "SURVEY SAYS HEROIN." This is not actually the proper name for this drink. The proper name for it is the Tum Yummy Swizzle, but I'd sooner brand myself on the penis with a curling iron than name something I'm drinking that. I also simplified the drink by removing such pesky requirements as "candied ginger for garnish," because seriously you're just going to eat it out of the bag after two drinks anyway.

INGREDIENTS:
•    1 oz Vodka
•    1/2 oz Domaine de Canton
•    3 1/2 oz Coconut water

You could also save yourself the trouble of buying Domaine de Canton, a ginger flavored liqueur that would sit with all your other rarely used malcontent underemployed liqueurs on the shelf. They'd start stealing things out of your car at first, but they'd get bolder, and soon you'd be wondering just where Frangelico, Creme du Cacao, and Midori sold your flatscreen, and why they had to shatter poor Galliano out on the sidewalk after the caper. (Was he wearing a wire? Did he seem untrustworthy?)

Prevent the eventual underutilized liqueur rebellion by just using a pinch of grated ginger, but not too much, and you'll have a super-simple cocktail that tastes like a pleasant shipwrecked spice ship in your mouth. Call it whatever you like as long as it doesn't contain the words "tummy" or "swizzle."

Holly: THE SCORCHING LEAP. Our Twitter hangers-on will note we (singular we) find ourselves in Miami this weekend, where our hosts clued us in to a Florida Room bartender cooking up a cocktail garnished with sriracha. The definition of insanity is not that thing about doing the same thing and expecting the same result. It is this other thing. 

1.5 oz. silver tequila

3/4 oz. Apérol

3/4 oz. fresh lime juice

1/2 oz. agave syrup

1 oz. passionfruit puree

2 bar spoons Mezcal, a smoky tequila

1-2 drops Sriracha, to taste

COMESTIBLE.

Holly: Devotees of meatsome fat things will want to check out friend of the program The Gurgling Cod's recent no-artery-left-standing tour of New Orleans, where he enjoyed an eggs benedict po'boy, which is apparently exactly what it sounds like. 

Swoonsome, no?

 

Orson: Gumby's Big-Ass Pizza. Samuel Johnson once said that ""He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." He was a visionary, because Johnson was clearly speaking of Gumby's Pizza in the 18th century, as posited in his Notes on Gluttonie and the Physick of Ill Men. 

"I foresee a place that shall construct the starchy flat meatpies of Italie, and shall so so in dimensions unseemly to the eye but pleasing to the hande and eye, so that when consum'd would render the consumers consumed as the mule who discovers and devours a bag of penny-nails."

The Gumby's 20 inch pizza isn't so much food as it is a dare. It is the size of a manhole cover, and when ordered usually requires not one, but three separate pizza sprockets embedded in its hide to pin it to the box. The grease alone is enough to set most cars on fire, and is the reason Gumby's pizza drivers wear silver flame-retardant suits while transporting them. The Federal Highway and Traffic Safety Administration estimates one out of every one cars on fire in a University town is in fact a Gumby's pizza delivery van. With the exception of Frank Solich's car every other year in Athens, Ohio, this is a completely valid statistic.

Normal people look tiny next to its huge bready luminosity:

This woman fell into the pizza shortly afterward and was rescued by Hideaki Akaiwa, who immediately dove back into the scalding cheese-waters to find others.

 

COMBUSTIBLE.

Orson: Oh, hahaha, the French haven't won a war in centuries. Laugh all you like. They still get way more vacation than you do, eat butter by the spoonful without bloating up into buffet dragons like Americans, and they know how to disarm a fucking hostage situation: BY BLOWING IT THE HELL UP. 

(It's okay. You can laugh when they miss with the grenade, proving again that life is a lot like Black Ops, but without respawn.)

Holly: This is more of a plea than a display, but please, universe, make the mighty medieval axe-gun widely available for purchase across these great United States.

 
Or, just give us one, because we have always thought it would be just the thing to moderate shirty internet message boards. [pats imaginary axe-gun]

 

TRANSIT.

Holly: Via alert reader Fesser, here's a post title we love: "Mercedes-Benz Zetros 6x6 luxed up for Mongolian hunting expeditions."

Tipster advises: "Please note this is a platform for hunting wolves with an eagle." DULY NOTED. 

Orson: A car with only one door, the whole door being the front of the car, causing the entire thing to look like a flying eighth note in repose? AND it's certain death if we get in a head-on collision?

SOLD.

 

 

CANON.

Orson: I can't make the music video of my dreams, since Herb Alpert already made it.

Let's just have a video where we pull up in our vintage roadster to some glamorous Hollywood home, and then we'll just have people take pictures of us, darling, just us being deliriously happy. How we'll laugh! I'll then dance, and this hep-looking black guy will just affirm, he'll just point and do nothing but affirm like, "Herb, you're aces!" And WE'LL LAUGH DARLING. Then I guess we'll just let the song ride out while I lead a parade of whacked-out people down the beach during a Malibu sunset like some kind of be-horned coke wizard. BRILLIANT.

This video sums up the ambitions of every man alive in 1980, and provides its soundtrack. it was also the super-sexy theme for Luke's rape of Laura on General Hospital, played eight times daily in every grocery store you ever shopped at from 1982-1995, and was last but not least the beat behind the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Hypnotize." (Bonus: Amitabh Bachchan learned to dance in Yaarana to it. I'm sure they asked for permission to use it.)

Holly: We're in Miami in the first place because we managed to dodge the raging airport hellfire just in time to snag our credentials for this little shindig. And though we are here the ONE TIME the Stanton Warriors are not, and though the Klaxons have surreptitiously cancelled their entire North American tour (aroo?), soaking up Fake Blood's set is on our agenda instead, along with doses of Duran Duran, Cut Copy, Boys Noize, BT, Hybrid, and MOTHERFUCKING ERASURE.

We plan on embarrassing ourselves assiduously during this last show tonight, so look for us in the crowd. We'll be the ones they're not taking alive. 

Boxscore | Preview / Game Thread | Game Day Links

Liberty Ballers | SBN Bay Area

In the post-game interview, coach Keith Smart said he was worried that the Warriors might come out flat, having the post-Xmas day off and a light practice in the morning focused on shooting and free throws. The Warriors came out flat alright, but so did the road-weary 76ers (9-5 in their last 14 games), who just came off a thrilling victory against the Denver Nuggets last night, and also missing Andre Iguodala -- incidentally, the Sixers still have to go to Phoenix, LA, then New Orleans before heading home. It was a pretty ugly first quarter.

And then Dorell Wright collected 28 points, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, while going 5-for-7 downtown, 8-for-11 overall. He now has almost as many three-point field goals made this season as he's had in his first six years combined in the NBA with the Miami Heat.

You can check my near play-by-play tweet/note-taking at the bottom of this post, but basically the storyline goes a little like this. Both teams came out flat, then with the help of Elton Brand, the Sixers started beasting a little on the thin Andris Biedrins-less Warrior front line. Late in the 2nd, Monta Ellis hit a trey then assisted Rodney Carney on another and all of a sudden the Dubs took a six-point lead into halftime.

David Lee focused himself more on neutralizing Brand and was effective. Then the turning point. You won't believe this. Not one, but two Dorell upfake-draw-contact-be-like-Wade plays -- errors by Brand then Evan Turner in succession -- that set the Warriors off on an 8-point lead which became 10, then 14. Add some Stephen Curry usual 4th quarter heroics (10 of his 17 points from 6:38 to 3:18 left in the game), an unfortunate substitution of Spencer Hawes for a tired Brand which helped the Warriors, and voila, 15-point victory on an over-matched, equally wet-behind-the-ears young squad.

And now, let us turn our attention to some nitpicking:

Dorell has to be careful with that upfake move

Fitz was chiding the Sixers for not watching tape of Wright to know that it's his favorite move. But the Sixers were coming off a victory at Mile High and, yeah, probably simply didn't do their homework. That the two moves were the turning point in the game may not bode well for the Warriors in the long run. I can already envision Dorell thinking that's his go-to move. It's not. It has not worked too many times. But tonight against this Sixers squad, it did. Just as 65% shooting from beyond the arc (15-for-23 overall) cannot be counted on, except for once in a blue moon.

Steph still makes some mental "youngsta" mistakes

First, the 3rd personal foul on a would-be offensive rebound by Brand on a Sixers shot that rimmed out far weakside. There's no way you're gonna get that one. Let Brand have it. Get out of the way completely. Sure, the ref didn't really need to call that, but hey you're the Warriors, you are not going to get "respect" calls from refs. You need to think ahead just a little bit. That 3rd foul takes Steph off the floor late first half.

Then there's that late-game trey that was too early in the shotclock, when with just a few minutes left to wrap up the game, the clock is your primary enemy. Or the nice move to get himself open at the left free throw elbow, only to pass to David Lee, who thankfully volleyball touch-passed it back to Steph and Steph ended up with a scoop at the rim. Just picture in your head Chris Paul. Does CP3 pass up that jumper? That's an opportunity to grab your opponent by his heart. It's a chance to make them think, "Dang, we just can't stop this guy. Can't leave him out there, can't bite at him. We are at his mercy."

Sooner or later, Steph needs to know that he is oh-so-close to being a feared weapon out there, with the diverse (for lack of a better comparison) Poor Man's CP3 skills -- albeit skewed a bit more towards shooting than passing, opposite of CP3 -- that are evolving in Steph's game.

Let's not get too excited about this one

Albeit, it is the Warriors' first 3-game winning streak since April of 2009. The Sixers were really bad. And without AI9, although I am not too high on Iggy (too soft!...sorry!). They'd make a mental mistake that killed any chance of building momentum. For example, a silly Andres Nocioni travel on a possible fastbreak, a bad pass into the backcourt, terrible help defense which made Turner look especially bad on a backdoor by Monta early in the game (bounce pass assist by Dorell). Brand deciding to shut the beastiness off.

Poor Evan Turner

He's looking like a bust. But the Sixers should have known that taking the ball out of his hands after playing point for OSU last year, then installing the rigid Doug Collins system would put Turner in a world he does not know how to handle. With Jrue Holiday (who had a pretty good game as you would expect) and Lou Williams (out), when does Turner ever bring up the ball? You're asking a guy to now play off the ball, when his greatest asset is creating with ball in hand. Granted, the Sixers may have been in no political position at #2 to pick anyone other than Turner, but they mixed oil with water. Still, it seems Turner isn't doing his homework on defense, leaving his feet on the Dorell fake and then also watching Monta, forgetting about Wright, who nailed the trey.

Jodie Meeks: I like

He's rugged, he's tough, he likes contact. And he can drill jumpers. He was off tonight from downtown (2-for-9), but it's clear that he's a solid shooter. ESPN analyst David Thorpe loved him a couple Summer Leagues ago, and for good reason. He's coming into his own. On the flipside, you can see that Monta and Curry are just a tad too soft on D against guards with girth such as Meeks. And I don't think it's physical attributes I'm concerned with, with Monta and Curry on D. It's attitude.

Spencer Hawes: yikes!

"A" for effort, though. Oh btw, Thaddeus Young looks kind of lost out there. Still managed decent numbers.

Elton Brand: still not 100%?

Elton beasted a little, but then in the most telling move, he attacked Lou Amundson and almost had Lou pinned beneath the deep circle, but then passed it off to Nocioni who missed the open trey. Maybe Elton's getting fatigued a little too quickly these days? The old Elton would've asserted himself as mayor of the paint and got an and-one on Lou.

Lou is trying to do too much

Early in the game, he tried to make some plays. That's not your skillset, big fella. You fill the gaps. You crash, crash, and crash some more. That's it.

Btw, nice traveling on that early runout courtesy of no-call on Monta's kick ball! LOL.

Ekpe Udoh looks good

With Lou trying to do too much, why not let Udoh play some more minutes? Is Udoh perhaps still not 100% health-wise? I don't get it. His jumper is pretty sweet. This for a rookie! IMHO, his jumper looks (I did not say "is") as good as Amare Stoudemire's. I mean form-wise. Not saying it's going in like Amare's but it's pretty to watch. You can't say that for many 6'11" guys!

After all, Udoh's the #6 pick and, despite our initial misgivings, now we can finally see signs of why Larry Riley (or the people who whisper in Riley's ear) coveted him so highly. On paper, Udoh needs to soon be starting. It is his destiny. Amundson needs to be a spark off the bench. That has become Lou's destiny, he proved it last season in the playoffs for Phoenix, and he gets paid well to fulfill that destiny.

Monta: trustworthy

Monta is nursing a small injury, and he may have taken a couple of ill-advised jumpers in the beginning of the game, but he's definitely sharing the ball and proving he can set people up. I think the ill-advised jumpers in the beginning was simply a mini-heatcheck of his at the start, to see if his jumper was falling on a night that would otherwise be hampered a bit. That tells me he's thinking during the game and not just acting on instinct. The Warriors need more players who are thinking.

Oh, Vlad Rad played pretty good!

Some steals, knock-down treys, swing passes. But sometimes he's swing-passing too much still.

Carney was also solid in his limited minutes

Although he did miss a runout two-handed dunk that, fortunately, David Lee followed with a dunk putback. I liked the confidence on that trey before halftime. Did not hesitate one iota. Knew he was shooting it the second the pass was made to him. Maybe he saw what Jared Dudley has been doing for Phoenix lately?

Reggie Williams: Sophomore team All-Star Weekend?

The debate rages! Okay, not really. At 11.6 ppg, he's currently 8th amongst 2nd-year players in scoring. Unfortunately, he had 0 pts tonight due to Dorell's heat stroke. Nothing you can really do about that. After all, his job is to fill in when Dorell is not hitting like he was tonight.

Also, Jim Barnett noted that with Curry already a shoo-in for a Soph spot, Reggie's chances diminish greatly.

Actually, I thought Reggie qualifies as a rookie? Or maybe I was too busy twittering to pay closer attention to the TV graphic? Someone hit me up on Twitter (@poormanscommish) and let me know -- too hard to wade through the comments!

Now that we're talking future...

Based on recurring trends everytime I do a game recap, the Warriors eventually need to get some more veterans on this squad. There are just too many unforced errors at inopportune times. The first half was a great example when both the Sixers and Warriors were trading mental miscues. Quality veterans don't commit backcourt violations on bad passes. Teams with high IQ don't pass around the perimeter and finally take a shot just because the defense has retreated and is daring you to take a shot. There's a lack of confidence in some sort of system that will get the right guy open. Or failing that, veterans are supposed to attack their opponent with long-term game purpose, to assert dominance (per the Steph criticism above), instead of relying on emotion.

The amazing stats collected this game will hide some of these warts. I don't know what trades or roster moves to make, but Keith Smart keeps saying he wants guys to play at a high level. That means a high IQ. And the Warriors just don't have that right now. You look at veteran teams on the NBA TV highlights, it's the Rockets figuring it out and sharing the ball. It's the Mavericks with an ultra-high-IQ zone employed on defense. Even the Hornets looked good, courtesy of CP3 of course, despite eventually being over-run tonight by the more-talented Michael Beasley, Kevin Love, and an emotionally charged young supporting cast (e.g., Wesley Johnson hitting treys). These franchises have gone out of their way to get quality veterans.

Transcript of @nbalivetweet

Sorry, you'll have to scroll a lot to get down to the Poll and the Comments section.

Again, I'm on Twitter at @poormanscommish with the firehose of game live-tweeting when necessary at @nbalivetweet. Here's the transcript from tonight's game, just in case...

Sixers win tip. Spencer Jawed bad turnover on cut that Lou Williams didn't make. Curry miss floater. Nocioni miss floater. D.Lee bad pass.

Brand outback no good. D.Lee Hairball. Holiday miss bunny. Turnover pass to Amundson. 0-0. Tiles. Smart timeout.

Nocioni charge. Monta j good. Sixers miss at rim. D.Lee j good. Holiday j no good. D.Lee miss same spot. Hawes travel on uptake dribble.

Dorell Wright two FTs makes it 6-0 Warriors. Nocioni j good. Approaching 8:00. Wright trey assist Curry. Sixers fastbrk good. Amundson j.

Sixers pass off Monta foot leads to Amundson runout power dunk. That was definitely traveling by Lou haha. And Monta was a kick per replay.

Meeks dribbled and loses outta bounds baseline. Curry drills Open trey up top. Weak D by Sixers. Hawes long j good. Monta bad pass.

Meeks fastbrk layup hacked by Monta. No call. Meeks miss j. Evan Turner checks in. Warriors 16, Sixers 6. Approaching 6:00 Q1.

Amundson with a driving layup out of his skillset. Brick rebound Thaddeus. Brand fouled, two FTs good. Curry teardrop short. Timeout.

Warriors 16, Sixers 8, 5:36 Q1. TV graphic: Vlad Rad increase FGP by 15%! Amundson blocks base take by Evan Turner! But fouls Thaddeus oreb.

Another block by Amundson on Evan Turner take. Holiday gets oreb putback and-one on chg attempt by Curry. D.Lee j good. Sixers answer.

Monta miss drive. Holiday fouled. Makes both. Warriors 18, Sixers 16, Q1 4:20. D.Lee miss RH. Thaddeus smooth bucket. Monta j no rebounders.

Thaddeus scores in Vlad Rad's face R baseline. Reggie Williams teardrop no good. Meeks miss nice swing open L corner trey. Monta backdoor.

Meeks left open R corner trey swish. How is he so open? Monta bad j no one underneath. Easy cut middle Sixers big on Vlad Rad. Smart timeout

That was Dorell Wright on the assist bouncer to Monta backdoor (on Evan Turner?).

Sixers 21-4 run. Wow Collins +10, +18, +18 in wins when taking over franchises.

D.Wright banker assist D.Lee. D.Wright steal. Vlad Rad trey assist Monta. Warriors 25, Sixers 25 under 1:00. Hawes layup good.

Monta miss open trey via D.Lee handoff. Holiday trey with shotclock down. Monta miss banker at buzzer nice RH drive. Sixers 30, Warriors 25.

D.Lee oreb deep L corner on D.Wright miss with hand in face shotclock down but sends pass to backcourt. Violation. Hawes 2 down low again.

Udoh subs in. Monta nice slice with ball layup L side no good. Turner j no good. D.Wright trey via Monta after looking at line/feet.

Terrible D by Sixers on leaving D.Wright trey. Meeks strong L base drive draws two FTs. Both good. Another backcourt violation. Vlad Rad.

Vlad Rad passed up open L elbow trey for a ridiculously bad pass to D.Wright that went backcourt. Udoh nice power move foul but no and-one.

Rookie Udoh does not get that and-one. Gotta pay your dues. Brand strong underneath against soft GSW interior. Reggie miss trey.

Sixers 7th turnover leads to runout dunk by D.Wright. Turner traps himself into baseline and Monta ties up xcourt pass. Jumpball. Timeout.

Another meh play by Evan Turner. Talk about a huge dropoff in "draft stock". His playing pg for OSU has not translated well.

Dorell Wright with 12 pts. 3pt FG made by Wright this season: 69. First 6 seasons: 73. What a stat!

Previously D.Wright had a trey pump and reload that missed with no one under tho. Needs to ditch that habit.

Brand strong oreb but no call on physicality. Warriors throw it away. Brand inside power. Carney bad layup attempt hits side of backboard.

Unforced turnover by Holiday. Monta drills crossover R to L long j. Brand powers two inside again. Timeout.

Sixers 37, Warriors 32, 5:30 Q2. Monta j good via Udoh high PNR. Brand j good. Udoh miss jumphook. Udoh blocks Thaddeus who gets putbak good

Curry checks in wearing those low tops. Assist j. Thaddeus power move good. Curry trey corner assist Monta trading xcourt passes.

D.Wright open trey good on attack and hangtim LH baseline Monta. Curry steal runout Carney, blows 2-handed tomahawk but D.Lee dunks putbak!

Timeout Sixers. Warriors take lead 46-45 with 2:26 left Q2. Broadcast Q&A: should Reggie Williams make Rookie-Soph game? 8th in ppg at 11.6.

Refs change earlier Carney j to a trey. Layup Sixers on set play outta timeout. D.Lee miss early J. Just no patience. All instinct.

Thaddeus bricks trey up top as shotclock winds down, Brand misses oreb swipe, Monta with ball on run, hacked by Nocioni to stop break.

Great Monta patented RH side spin into middle into chest of defender. Nocioni miss trey, early o Curry drops to Monta for trey.

Brand power hook good on D.Lee. Monta rises at ft line, passes to non-hesitant Carney who drills confident trey.

Brand another oreb attempt on deep base miss. Curry called on loose ball under Brand. 3rd pf, sits. Thaddeus miss j at Q2 buzzer.

That foul on Curry really didn't need to be called. Brand had the ball tracked down anyways. No respect for Warriors. Such is life.

When you play a sloppy style, don't expect the refs to be concentrating 100% and thinking ahead. They'll be in same non-thinking-man flow.

Warriors 55, Sixers 49, halftime. GSW getting outrebounded 31-22. Monta 13 pts 7 ast (!). Brand 10 pts 9 reb.

Warriors shooting 9-for-13 from beyond the arc. That can turn into bad news quickly. Be careful!

Warriors have shot 45 fgs all told. So that's 13 of 45 shots from trey. 29% of their shots are 3-pointers. Bet they don't even realize it.

Btw Andre Iguodala is not playing tonight.

Warriors have 18 pts off 9 Sixers turnovers. Jrue Holiday 11 pts 8 ast. Carney nice energy with 6 pts 5 reb off the bench. Amundson 2 blk.

Curry back to the high tops. Was wearing mid tops not low tops in first half.

Monta RH driving high backboard scoop trickles out. Brand touch outta bounds. D.Lee nice strong vs Brand but Brand too strong.

Brand strong RH move into Amundson but dishes to Nocioni miss trey. He should keep that. Amundson misses two FTs after inside move.

Meeks miss trey, touchdown to Curry gets swatted by Meeks. Holiday trey. Amundson swatted inside.

Hawes fouls D.Wright nice strong drive. Then gets tech for arguing. Curry ft good. D.Wright 1/2 FTs. Warriors 57, Sixers 52, 9:00 Q3.

Meeks trey good assist Holiday. Careless perimeter turnover by Monta, Nocioni attacks rim and it veers out but Meeks follows good.

Just bad effort by Warriors running back there. No passion. Monta picks up dribble too early on rise layup. Traveling. Brand turnover.

Amundson another attempt inside no good. Meeks strong layup. Warriors miss. Meeks miss open trey. Wide open.

D.Lee fouled at rim by Brand via Curry feed. Then Acie Law subs in for Curry. Why? Brackins and Brand do work on orebs and GSW interior D.

Nocioni travels. Neither team can string together good possessions. Everytime, someone makes an unforced mental error. Timeout.

Warriors 62, Sixers 61, 5:40 Q3. Acie Law trey...no, deep two! Don't know how that rotation went in. Brand beasts orebs good putback.

Nice to see Udoh with an Amare-like FT elbow jumper good, iso'd. D.Lee good open j. Meeks penetrates mid floater and-1. Monta soft reaction.

Acie Law nice drive and dish but Udoh displays stone hands. Outta bounds turnover. Thaddeus reaches GSW soft interior power move good.

D.Wright trey to cover up GSW softness. Later, Udoh nice long reach oreb, Monta then hits open trey on eventual swing pass. Collins timeout.

Warriors now 11/16 treys, 23 assists on 29 made fgs. Holiday says bye bye to Law. Swish. Monta drive RH, fouled by Thaddeus. First FTs.

Monta makes both. Warriors 76, Sixers 70, 1:30 Q3. Monta: 20 pts 9 ast. Nocioni stolen by Monta. Udoh miss elbow but great form.

Acie Law steal and nifty L to R behind back cross at sideline midcourt, slow approach to fastbreak gets pinned. Too bad.

Holiday may have injured his hand. Timeout. Warriors still 76-70 up on Sixers, 27.3 Q3. TV broadcast talks abt tough GSW East swing coming.

Holiday apparently okay after that dribble drive foul. Evan Turner subs in. Monta RH drive, shot altered by Hawes. Meeks miss halfct buzzer.

Curry in for Monta. With nothing inside, D.Lee takes an elbow j that ends up a brick. Hawes miss swooping hook. D.Lee j good this time.

Curry bad underhand turnover to Acie Law. What was Law gonna do with it? Brand elbow j good. 16 and 15. Assist Holiday again.

Brand falls for D.Wright's stop n fake. Even Fitz says that's a terrible decision by Brand. D.Wright's favorite move. 2 FTs good.

Meeks draws D.Lee foul on strong LH baseline dribble. I like this kid. Evan Turner this time falls for D.Wright's upfake.

Curry nice D anticipating where Turner was going on set play. Evan makes a tough j as shotclock winds down. Vlad Rad trey, then steal.

Warriors 85, Sixers 75, 8:10 Q4. Timeout. D.Wright 25 pts, D.Lee 11 pts 15 reb, Monta 20 pts 9 ast. Brand 16pts 15reb, Holiday 16pts 11ast.

Monta gets extended rest. Warriors bench 18, Sixers 15. D.Lee 2 FTs good. Nice upfake and LH dribble power by Meeks, foul on Curry.

Holiday mental error, bad pass backcourt violation to Meeks. Vlad Rad passes up trey for swingpass to Acie Law. Ugly shot, Brand reb.

Evan Turner draws jumper touch foul on D.Wright and-one

Curry nice chg speed dish D.Lee good. Meeks good. Curry running RH scoop good. Turner miss j. Curry swish deep two. Timeout Collins.

That was a stepback cross dribble by Curry with nothing else going oncourt. Refs will check if it was a two or trey. Warriors 93, Sixers 80.

Curry shot ruled a trey. Warriors 94, Sixers 80, 5:52 Q4. Monta subs in for Law. More than 7 assists in 4 straight gms. Thaddeus j good.

Curry leads GSW in Q4 scoring. Passes to D.Lee after nice penetrate to elbow, D.Lee taps it back. Curry goes to rim blocked scoop but fouled

Would have liked to see Curry not be so passive on that elbow drive that he passed up open shot to D.Lee. Take over, kid!

Holiday scores. D.Lee j good via Vlad Rad oreb. Hawes draws foul. Hawes 1/2 FTs. Sixers down 13. Hawes blocks cut/layup by D.Lee.

Evan Turner oreb on Thaddeus miss trey but Vlad Rad pokes it out. Curry trey via Monta drive on Sixers zone. Holiday attacks, fouled.

Timeout. Brand on bench. Warriors 101, Sixers 87, 2:59 Q4. Steph Curry now up to 17 pts 5 reb 7 ast. Brand 16&16 neutralized by D.Lee 17&15.

D.Wright trey off Curry dribble, Evan Turner not paying attention, looking at Curry. Turner has been a major disappointment tonite.

Dorell Wright 9 for his last 11 treys over past 3 games. Meeks draws contact, makes 2 FTs. D.Lee L elbow j good. Brackins R baseline j good.

Vlad Rad pokes an oreb from Speights. Curry trey miss too early in shotclock but D.Lee taps out. D.Lee layup RH good. Holiday strong layup.

D.Lee dribble drive turnover in meaningless garbage time. Warriors will have 18 of 22 games at home after upcoming East Coast trip.

Monta 2 FTs in garbage time. Slight chants of MVP from Oracle crowd? Monta will have good numbers for All-Star purposes from this one.

Buzzer sounds. On way to tunnel, dude gives Monta LH a mid-five but it was really attempt to acquire wristband. Band falls away to ground.

Warriors 31 assists on 39 makes. Sixers had won 9 of 14 incl last nite at DEN. D.Wright 28 pts 7/8 treys 6 reb, D.Lee 21&16, Monta 22p 12a.

First time Warriors have won 3 straight since April '09. Reggie Williams 0/2 fg in limited minutes but D.Wright was so huge.

For Sixers, Brand 16&16, Holiday 23 pts 11 ast, Meeks 19 pts but 2/9 treys, Thaddeus 15pts 8reb, Hawes 12reb but 4/10 fg, Turner 5pts 8reb.

The back to back by Sixers may explain the two fouls on well-known Dorell Wright upfakes That were probably borrowed from D-Wade.

Keith Smart still not happy with point of attack. Also bigs were showing too low.

After the Xmas break, Smart knew minds would not necessarily have bodies follow. Why they came out flat. Force fed conditioning on Curry.

Smart: Warriors focused on shooting and free throws this morning knowing that 5on5 could be a little discombobulated.

Monta nursing a little bit of injury, helped focus on teammates, showing more trust.

Smart: "That's the first thing I'm worried about. Its the A-T-L. We're gonna practice nite before." Reference to ATL party town?

Smart: Need ppl to help Dorell get open looks instead of him trying to create.

Smart: IMHO, Jeremy Lin can't get quality mins to see how he is as a pro. I've been down there. Lloyd Pierce be in contact w him constantly.

Smart: Jeremy Lin needs to apply what he's learning and he can get 25-30 mins down there but not here with our roster of guards.

LOL 32% of Comcast Warriors fans think the GSW will win 0 games on upcoming East Coast trip.

No help D by Sixers on that nice spin drive by Monta into Brand's chest.

In case I forgot to mention, Warriors were 15/23 on treys tonite.

 

Poll

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In an era where every little thing a college athlete does is taken and looked at under the microscope, yet another major program has been hit just two days before Christmas.

This time, the NCAA grinch found that at least five players were in violation for accepting improper benefits. The allegations include selling championship rings and jerseys and accepting improper gifts.The actual kicker may be that this was an investigation by OSU that they turned over to the NCAA, probably to avoid major sanctions.

Among the top names is Mr. Buckeye himself Terrelle Pryor, who allegedly sold his Big 10 title ring, a pair of gold pants that were given to him from the Ohio State University, and his 2009 Fiesta Bowl Sportsmanship award.

Also named in the violation are Dan "Boom" Herron, Mike Adams, Devier Posey, and Solomon Thomas. Many of the allegations against them are similar in nature to those against Pryor, as many decided to sell rings and apparel for their own profit.

So what will the penalty against them be?

All are suspended for five games next year. Not this year. Not in a big money BCS game against Arkansas in the Sugar Bowl.

So why are they being allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl, despite the five game suspension?

Here is what Kevin Lennon, the NCAA Vice President of Academic and Membership Affairs had to say:

"The players are eligible for the bowl game because the NCAA determined they did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred."

That sounds great on paper, but the bottom line is the NCAA doesn't want a high profile BCS match-up to lose any of its luster, especially one that may not have the drawing power nationally, with respect to Ohio and Arkansas markets.

Pryor and his band of eBay thugs should have to start their suspensions immediately. There is no reason that they should be allowed to play in the bowl game. Five games means five games, and it shouldn't have to wait until the multi-million dollar bowl game is over.

So which games will these guys miss?

Normally, I would go easily to a few Michigan directional schools and some MAC sisters of the week, but this is not entirely the case.

Toledo, Akron, Miami of Florida, Colorado and Michigan State are the first five to feast on the Pryor-less Buckeyes.

But the bottom line is two things:

One, is selling your personal belongings, or gifts from the university, a crime or violation in the first place?

I say it is tacky at best, and I know from my days back in school that the NCAA gives these guys absolutely jack to live on while they are playing.

Two, is it fair that they can play in their precious money maker of a bowl game in New Orleans?

I say no! The suspensions should start now.

While I personally think that what they did isn't really all that bad, rules are rules, and a five game suspension means five games starting now.

So what do you think?

Did the Buckeye E-bayers do anything wrong in the first place?

Should they be able to play in the Bowl game?

Is five games way too much?

Mat MacDonald AKA The Rook The Rook is currently enrolled in Human Kinetics at St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, Nova Scotia. A frequent contributor to all NBA and Raptors debates along with other sports. Witty, quick and never afraid of a challenge, Mat's here to talk hoops with you and dish out his two cents whenever!

Click here to follow him on Twitter!

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Christmas Joy in the NBA

Who are we kidding, everyone enjoys a present or two for Christmas. Iʼm sure youʼre probably thinking this is your year to get something nice from Santa. Itʼs been too long right?

Tired of the socks and peanuts in the stockings. Itʼs time for a new car, a winning lottery ticket or even the pony youʼve always wished for! Ok, like I said who are we kidding, you arenʼt getting any of those. But everyone wants something.

Since itʼs the season of giving and receiving it only seems fitting to BREAKDOWN every NBA teamʼs needs coming into the New Year. Now, donʼt forget the rule: If youʼre nice you get what you want, if youʼre naughty you get the New Jersey Nets.

That being said, letʼs take a look at what should be on everyoneʼs wish list for December 25th.

Atlanta (18-12, 4th East): Remember in the summer when everyone wondered who was going to sign where and what big name free-agents were going to take off for new teams? It was assumed that Joe Johnson would fly from Atlanta after the Hawks made a few early exits from the playoffs and showed very little effort in actually improving their team.

Instead, the Hawks offered Johnson the max he could make in money and years, literally threw it at him and closed the doors on their summer after the signing.

Are you kidding? For Christmas the Hawks need a lot. They need some flavor. Jamal Crawford doesnʼt know what heʼs playing for anymore, Mike Bibby needs an even bigger headband for that hair line and Joe Johnsonʼs just doing what he does. If history remains true, the Hawks wonʼt be going anywhere deep in the playoffs regardless of coaching changes and more Crawfords added to the team. Itʼs not happening.

What do they need?

The Hawks need one more big name player, someone that can score off the wing and take some of the outside scoring off JJ and Crawford. Until then, Hawks fans - those who actually go to the games - better be content with winning the division.

Boston (22-4, 1st East): If youʼre a green fan and you arenʼt smiling, youʼre the Grinch. The Celtics have brought life back to the city of hope and thereʼs no reason that the good times are anywhere near slowing down. The Green Monster resides at Fenway Park, but the real Green Monster dawns a Celtics jersey. Shaq has been a monster when heʼs played for Boston. The Celtics have that swagger Shaq carries to every team - fun, easy going and straight to business - and it looks like theyʼre the real team to beat in the East, not the group assembled by the Blues Brothers down in Miami.

What do the Celtics need? Health. If the core of the green can stay healthy, thereʼs no doubt that Boston takes top spot in the East and cruises through the playoffs to the finals. Thereʼs no team that can stop the depth of the Celtics right now. If Rajon Rondo continues to dish out assists at the rate heʼs going (13.8 per game) then he will without a doubt be a top vote getter for this yearʼs MVP award.

Charlotte (9-18, 11th East): Last year things looked bright in gloomy Charlotte. Not only was MJ leading a team that was actually winning, but the Bobcats looked like a strong developing team. Gerald Wallace made his campaign worthy of an All-Star appearance and Raymond Felton made his mark as a premier point-guard in the league. Since then times have changed.

Ray Ray moved on to New York and Wallace continues to hold down the fort in Charlotte but with little help. Last season the Bobcats were fierce on the defensive end, making teams struggle from all over the floor to buy a bucket.

This year itʼs like thereʼs a Macyʼs discount and everyone gets a pop at a bucket. Currently they allow 97.5 PPG which puts them 13th in the league while they only manage to score 92 PPG. Tops in the NBA goes to Miami who allows a league low 91.5 PPG. If the Bobcats want to make any push at being who they were last year, they need more of a presence at the point-guard position and in the post. Santa canʼt be too kind with what he gives the boys in orange. At this point, they need anything - even their owner to suit up one more time. Ok, maybe not.

Chicago (16-9, 3rd East): Ok, thereʼs not much to say on the Bulls. Theyʼre actually a really good team despite the record. Itʼs a little deceiving when not one player can be healthy long enough to put together any sort of chemistry. Derrick Rose is having another great campaign (23 PPG, 8 APG, 4 RPG) which is keeping Chicago floating right now atop the Central. With a healthy roster and front court the Bulls can be deadly.

Off-season acquisition Carlos Boozer is averaging 18 points and eight rebounds in his first ten games of the season which is around his career averages, but youʼd have to think with a healthy roster his numbers could rise from all the looks heʼll receive. What does Chicago need? Same as Boston - health.

Cleveland (8-20, 13th East): You didnʼt expect to see them all the way down here? Wait, you thought LeBron was coming back too? Well those times have come and gone and now Clevelandʼs sitting with a lot of gaps to fill.

Letʼs face it, the Cavs have a solid group of role-players who were meant to sit around LeBron and blow out fake birthday candles in pre-game dance routines, but with his exit, the Cavs find themselves at the bottom looking up.

What do they need? Right now the Cavs need a player looking to find himself again the league. The names Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson come to mind right away. Both guys are trying to prove that they can still play the game at a high level, and while one may only be able to play a full game without pain, both are still talented and have a strong hunger inside them to be the best.

A superstar that could come back to Cleveland and revive the lost souls could be something Cavs fans really need. Mind you, a ten game losing streak doesnʼt help either. If weʼre looking for moral victories thereʼs no doubt that Cleveland hosted the loudest season game of the year to
date.

Dallas (22-5, 2nd West): What more can be said about the Mavs? They own the second best record in the Western Conference right now and thereʼs a good chance they could be atop the West by the All-Star break. Once again the Mavs are being lead by Dirk Nowitzki (24 Pts, 7 Rbs) and things look bright in Texas.

Jason Terry has proven to be a killer again averaging 16 points off the bench, and a much needed inside presence of Tyson Chandler - remember him Raptors fans - has helped solidify the paint for the Mavs. The ongoing question in Dallas is how long can this last?

Every year the Mavs seem to make some sort of push as one point in the season and usually come in as pretty strong favorites to go deep into the Western playoff bracket. Yet, every year they fall just short, or blow a two game lead in a fixed NBA Finals. Regardless, if you havenʼt already said it you might as well get it out of the way and say it now.

The Mavs look like this is their year. What do they need? I wouldnʼt say too much. Right now their core is strong, the bench looks good and everything is clicking. The big thing for Dallas is keeping their front-court healthy. Chandler canʼt afford to go down with any sort of injury or else Dallas is in big trouble.

Averaging near career best numbers this season (8.5 PPG, 9.2 RPG) Chandler finds himself on yet another thriving team looking to make a big splash in the playoffs. Maybe it wasnʼt just Chris Paul that made him after all?

Denver (16-10, 6th West): My big question is why? Why would Carmelo want to leave Denver? Thereʼs a great core of players around him right now, a premier guard in Chauncey Billups, and some solid pieces in that puzzle that make the Nuggets a threat all the time. The contemplation of a move wonʼt make it any easier for Melo to win a ring.

The East has developed greatly over the past two seasons, and the West is continuing to get better. At this point itʼs safe to say that if you arenʼt putting together some sort of super-team, then you arenʼt going to find yourself deep in any playoff picture. That being said, one more piece in Denver may make Melo put the pen on the paper and agree to that contract extension.

All of this talk has made it impossible to focus on basketball. The worst thing is, theyʼre actually a good team! What Denver needs for Christmas is everyone to back off their team and stop talking trades. Until something is done and on paper, the media and everyone else around the organization needs to take a few steps back and enjoy the product thatʼs being put out on the floor every night.

You never know how lucky you are until somethingʼs gone.

Detroit (9-19, 12th East): A few years ago this Pistons team wouldʼve looked like a lock for a deep run into the playoffs. The reality of the situation now is that theyʼre just too old. The old Pistons teams were known for their hard-nosed play and defensive efforts. This year the Pistons are allowing just over 100 points per game putting them 17th overall in the league.

Their struggles to score at times come as a shock to some considering names like Gordon, Hamilton, Prince and Villanueva dawn a blue and red jersey. Joe Dumars has to do something to shake up this roster. Unlike the Celtics, the Pistons canʼt keep going back to what made them a solid team back in the early 2000ʼs.

Players like Tracy McGrady are only taking up space at this point, especially with the depth at the wing position. The Pistons donʼt have room for heros at this point and a few names on their bench need to be shipped off to start a new culture in the Motor City.

What they need most for Christmas is an overhaul and perhaps a change in the GM. Thereʼs no doubt that the Pistons have the potential on paper to be a solid team, but at this point Iʼm a lot more nervous reading Charlie Vʼs tweets than I am as an opposing player playing against him on any given night.

Golden State (9-18, 12th West): Itʼs the same story every year for the Warriors. They continue to score 100+ points a night, but they just canʼt do it on the defensive end. Youʼd think the addition of David Lee may provide some sort of punch in the paint and stop opposing teams from abusing their defense but thatʼs far from the truth.

The Warriors sit fourth from the bottom in points allowed (106.82) but what would you expect when Monta Ellis and Steph Curry are your two starting guards? Their best defense is their offense, but in the Western Conference, a conference dominated by strong durable teams, that makes the Warriors chances of landing a playoff spot as small as Gary Coleman on his biggest days.

The Warriors need something, anything, a spark. They have the offensive punch, but they need that desire to play on the defensive end.

Maybe Santa can provide that kick in the pants? I digress...

Houston (13-15, 10th West): Really, this is a great start to the season for the Rockets. Kevin Martin is proving that he can take a team and put them on his shoulders while the Rockets battle injuries, but the question remains: When will Houston finally be a complete team? With Yao out for the season and probably forever, the Rockets need to move on once again.

A team riddle with injury woes, the Rockets have never been on the right end of a situation when itʼs come to medical issues.

Look back a few years when the dynamic duo of McGrady and Yao was supposed to take over the league and win more games than any Rocketsʻ team had ever done in the past. Now we look at the Rockets and think of what could have been.

The Rockets need another big name player that doesnʼt carry around a medical checklist. The free-agent market hasnʼt been kind to Houston, but a possible trade at the deadline to unload some cap room and pick up a player looking to play out a contract may be a good look for the Rockets.

For such poor circumstances, one can only hope that things turn around for Houston.

Indiana (13-14, 7th East): Letʼs face it. If you have a record around .500, youʼre in the playoffs in the East. But the truth is the Pacers actually arenʼt that bad this year. A solid guard duo in Collison and Granger has proven to give teams fits early on. A few big wins including one over Miami put Indiana on the map early and turned more attention on the Pacers since Ron...we wonʼt go there.

The truth is, since the infamous ʻMalice in the Palaceʻ the Pacers franchise has never been the same. While fans still try to forget the dark days, additions like Collison are a bright point in the future of the franchise. What Indiana needs right now is something that takes them over the top. The word is consistency.

With that the sky is literally the limit for the Pacers. Theyʼre young enough that they can build, but the question is right now, how long will it take them? An appearance in the playoffs this season could be a positive step through the door.

Los Angeles (Balancing the West): What? Balancing the West? What the hell is this idiot talking about? Well itʼs true, Los Angeles really is balancing the West. The Lakers currently sit third from the top at 21-7 while the Clippers sit third from the bottom at 8-21. Itʼs such a story of two completely different franchises.

The Lakers have added he pieces theyʼve needed through the years to make them even more competitive without disturbing their core while the Clippers continue to make bonehead moves and moves that seem to disrupt the franchise more than an owner yelling at his own players.

Breaking down the best from both teams, the Lakers look poised to make another Finals appearance while the Clippers look poised to enter the lottery again. Not all is bad in Clipper land though. Blake Griffin is a monster. His stats have been put up over and over.

The only reason we arenʼt posting them here is for fear that he may decide enough is enough and come out of his shell and go for a 50/50 game.

I wouldnʼt put it past him. The kidʼs a straight beast. That being said one player doesnʼt win championships, and in two years time the most compelling story in sports wonʼt be who has the hottest Kardashian sister on the block, but which team Blake Griffin will be looking at playing for. If youʼre a Clippers fan you better start your campaign now.

Memphis (12-16, 11th West): Iʼm tired of the Griz. Honestly, get your stuff straight! O.J. Mayo is a player, he can ball, but donʼt play head games with someone who already has enough mental issues as it is. Xavier Henry is good, but not good enough to be taking time from Mayo. At this point if Memphis wants to make any sort of push at making a run this season to the playoffs, they need to focus on creating some sort of stability in their franchise and avoid these distractions.

Rudy Gay is having another solid campaign, but really the Grizzlies need so much more than just him to have any fighting chance at the eighth spot come May. Zach Randolph is another name that always floats around. Will they sign him, will they let him go? Zeebo puts up numbers for a big man, plus heʼs still agile - he just looks like he plays video games all day.

Honestly, right now the Grizzlies just need to put it all together. They have all the pieces but no picture of their puzzle to build from. Hopefully it happens sooner than later. Santa needs to deliver them a kick in the backside.

Miami (21-9, 2nd East): If you havenʼt realized the Heat arenʼt going to win 72 games by now then realize it. Besides that, theyʼre actually a pretty good team. They rank at the top of the NBA in points allowed (91.4) and things look a lot better than they did in the first 15 games of the season for Miami. The key to the Heatʼs success lies in the hands of LeBron James who is secretly nearing close to averaging a triple-double (24 PPG, 7 APG, 6.5 RPG).

James is the floor general of the team, but his on and off style of aggression this season has raised serious uproar by some saying that James needs to stop playing this good guy and just take over games like the rest of the world knows he can.

Dwayne Wade is a scorer (23.5 PPG) and Bosh has proven to be a solid big for the three-headed monster, but will that cut it for the Heat?

What they need for Christmas is a reality check. Itʼs time to start putting in young talent around these three -guys that just want to get out there and work. Itʼs great when youʼre surrounding
LeBron, Wade and Bosh with vets like Haywood and Howard, but the reality is they arenʼt going to be around for much longer. As for the point-guard position, I stand by it today that the starting point-guard right now for the Heat should be Sebastian Telfair.

Thereʼs a player whoʼs career never really got going because he was put on teams where he didnʼt have the assets to use properly. Put him on this Miami squad and I promise heʼs not only on the floor for a while but averages double-digit assist numbers.

Milwaukee (10-16, 9th East): If youʼre a Raptors fan then you love injuries to the Bucks. Sitting out of a playoff spot right now, the Bucks just took another hard hit losing Brandon Jennings for 4-6 weeks with a broken foot. Injuries have cut the Bucks every year.

Last year Andrew Bogut had that horrific arm injury that kept him out during the playoffs, and this year it looks like Milwaukee will be playing catchup for most of the season.

What they need more than anything right now is someone that can score big numbers on a nightly basis. Corey Maggette just doesnʼt cut it anymore - or ever.

Minnesota (6-23, 14th West): Two huge facts for the T-Wolves to date: They have the toughest roster to remember with the hardest last names to pronounce, and Kevin Love has single handedly put the Wolves atop the NBA in rebounding per game as a team (45.3). What more can K-Love do for this team? Heʼs averaging 15.5 rebounds per-game, is by no means the biggest player on the floor most nights, and continues to do so with a smile.

If Iʼm a Wolves fan and Iʼm asking Santa for gifts, it would be for something attractive to pop up in Minnesota that draws big name players because right now the win/loss record isnʼt turn any heads except away from being a member of the Wolves.

New Jersey (8-20, 14th East): You suck. You stink. Why do you keep doing this? Itʼs simple: The Nets have nobody, again. Brook Lopez and Devin Harris canʼt carry a team, havenʼt we seen this movie already? The Nets need to stop sitting on picks and ʻtalkingʼ about deals and just swing one. Maybe itʼs communication problems between owners or maybe thereʼs just nothing on the table, but regardless, something needs to be done to save this franchise.

Whatever they do, they canʼt get rid of Derrick Favors, the kid can play. Santa needs to bring Carmelo a nice picture of New Jersey and hope that he opens up his mind to playing in such a rustic location - oh my, times are tough.

New Orleans (16-12, 7th East): Things were a lot easier when everyone was winning and happy but since the 8-0 start, the Hornets have stung themselves going 8-12. Now, donʼt get too upset. Maybe the fast start was a bit premature, but expectations were certainly being blown out of proportion when people started suggesting that Marco Belinelli was a savior in New Orleans.

To make things worse for true Hornets fans, the NBA owns the franchise and expansion to Seattle, Kansas City and even Las Vegas looks more possible than ever before.

In what could be Chris Paulʼs final year as a Hornet, things have gone up and down. When the team was winning there were rumors that maybe someone would join Paul in New Orleans come 2012, but now no one knows what to expect. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that the new year brings the Hornets some wins to keep the franchise in New Orleans and keep the buzz in the city a positive one. Really, there was no pun intended there.

New York (16-12, 6th East): An identical record to the Hornets, yet a completely different situation. The Knicks are playing some of the best basketball in the NBA right now and thatʼs in large part to their MVP - and possible league MVP - Amarʼe Stoudemire. STATʼs numbers are bigger than Spike Leeʼs ego and things are just so bright right now for the Knicks. The aforementioned Raymond Felton has provided the glue to the group in New York but perhaps the biggest surprise comes from the rookie Landry Fields.

Fields is starting as if heʼs been in the league for ten seasons, averaging 10 points and seven rebounds per game. His solid play at the wing has provided New York with the freedom of playing him bigger minutes and resting players like Wilson Chandler at times which will help the team come playoff time - yes, I said playoffs and Knicks in the same paragraph. Shocking. Santa keep those injuries away.

Oklahoma City (19-9, 5th West): Itʼs simple, keep the core together and thereʼs no stopping this team in the next five years. Thatʼs it, honestly. What do they need? Maybe a solid big man in the future, a free-agent name thatʼs willing to be a part of a team dynamic and not look for the spotlight.

Besides that the Thunder are solid at every position. That was easy.

Philadelphia (11-16, 8th East): Iʼm getting tired and so are 76ers fans. It may be time to send Iggy somewhere else, but who knows. For now the Sixers find themselves in the playoff hunt which is a good sign for a team thatʼs struggled the past few years.

Still, changes need to be made. Evan Turner is slowly falling into a seat next to Kwame Brown. Itʼs time for change again in Philly.

Phoenix (13-14, 9th West): Speaking of change! Thereʼs no way that the Suns make it into the playoffs. Even with the latest deals that make Steve Nash look more and more like Charles Barkley, the Suns still find themselves near the end of the stick for that 8th spot.

Who knows, maybe Vince will be the Vince of 2000, maybe Gortat will prove that he can actually play consistent on a nightly basis and give Phoenix fans something to cheer about? For now the Suns look like a bigger mess than a teenagerʼs room. With Nash set at the point-guard, the rest of the team looks like players just trying to get a contract.

Who knows what Vinceʼs facial expression will be come opening night in a Phoenix jersey, but New Jersey and Toronto fans sure know about the ups and downs of relying on VC. If youʼre a Suns fan, you hope that a time machine gets put in the locker-room and some of these guys revive their career.

Portland (15-14, 8th West): Another team that continues to get bit by the injury bug. There seems to be a non-stopping cycle of injuries for Portland bigs. Greg Oden is out yet another year in what seems to be a contest between him and Yao to who can miss more games than they play in their career. Things are bad. Not to mention fans are starting to get tired of Brandon Roy, even calling for his trade during games. Once again there are dark times in Portland. But things can brighten up quick. A healthy Oden and Roy could finally see the Blazers hit their potential and...yeah, sorry fans, thatʼs it.

Thereʼs no hope right now in Portland to get back to where they were. The West is too strong for a team thatʼs riddled with nagging injuries. Lottery picks, anyone?

Sacramento (5-20, 15th West): All any Kings fan should want for Christmas is a win streak. Something. The start of the season seemed so promising for the Kings, but as the story with all 30 teams has gone so far, injuries have caused the Kings to take a huge step back from last season. Are they New Jersey bad? No. But things need to change again in Sacramento. Christmas needs to be kind to Tyreke Evans and his foot.

The Kings need their king. Period.

San Antonio (24-3, 1st West): Finally! An old team that isnʼt filled with injury and get this, is winning! The Spurs have been the surprise story of the 2010/11 season losing only three games through their first 27. But wait, youʼre surprised? The Spurs are scoring more than they usually do (106.7 PPG) but besides that theyʼre the same team.

Like a broken record Iʼll say it again, “If it isnʼt broke, donʼt fix it!” The Spurs have been together for years now and easily could be considered the team of the decade in the NBA. Ginobli, Parker and Duncan will go down in history as one of the best trios in NBA history and rightfully so. The Spurs are playing some ball.

For Christmas they may want some young talent on the bench to take in the second half of the season. The younger you get on the bench at times isnʼt always a bad thing.

Eventually these guys are going to have to retire and there needs to be some solid structure behind them for the future of the franchise.

Toronto (10-18, 10th East): The Raptors are in a serious rebuilding phase right now - again. Lead by Andrea Bargnaniʼs 21 points per game, the Raptors seem to have found their new go-to-player on the offensive end, but defense continues to be a focal point for their failures. They sit ninth in the league in scoring, averaging 102.1 points per-game, but they give up 105.4 on the defensive end per game which doesnʼt work if youʼre a team trying to work as a young group to make the playoffs.

What does Toronto need? Maybe another scorer, maybe a trade that brings in a few good pieces to round the team off. But really what they need is some consistency from DeMar DeRozan at
the wing. Against the Lakers Sunday afternoon, the second year wing out of Compton dropped 19 points in the third quarter alone showing glimpses of what he could be. That being said, we live in a world of nows and not, ʻwhat ifsʼ.

Utah (20-9, 4th West): Please, somebody give Jerry Sloan a coach of the year award. Iʼm tired of this. Thatʼs all Utah fans should want for Christmas, New Years and every other holiday.

They have an MVP already in Deron Williams.

Washington (7-19, 15th East): Things arenʼt bright in Washington right now, and with Gilbert Arenas leaving the mix that doesnʼt actually make them a better team. That being said, if management thinks that the right thing to do was move Gilbert and work towards a younger core then Iʼm sure Wizards fans are all for it.

Anything to see their team turn the corner and make their franchise a more appealing city to play in works for them right now. What do they need?

The 2011/12 season.

With all that, I sit back and wish everyone a happy holidays and all the best.

Hopefully all of your wishes will be granted and youʼre happy with what you receive. In the end I leave you with one last comment: At least you arenʼt Nets fans.

-MM

Los Angeles Clippers 113, Minnesota 90

In the middle of this game, Timberwolves analyst Jim Petersen didn't think twice before including Blake Griffin in a group of the greatest all-time in-game dunkers. Soon after, without even the benefit of yet another Griffin throw-down, he didn't think twice before calling Blake the greatest in-game dunker in NBA history.

And while that may seem like a bit much, just seven weeks into his NBA career ... who else? Seriously. Who else do you have?

I watched endless hours of Dominique Wilkins on TBS growing up. Clearly I know my way around Michael Jordan's pamphlets, and even his catalogue. I was around for skinny Shawn Kemp. Julius Erving's ABA career was a bit of a miss, but we get the idea. But ... who? Reverence aside, who are you taking over this guy right now, in that area? And we're seven weeks in!

22 and 10 for Griffin in the win, with seven assists, and he even tried (without actually getting the assist) some great one-handed Connie Hawkins dishes. The guy was acting a little cocky, which we haven't seen much of this season, in just toying with the Timberwolves. Minnesota couldn't get stops early and often, and it had no answer for Eric Gordon (36 points, five steals, six assists) in both transition and delayed transition.

And Blake is just a bloody hurricane.

***

Utah 101, Cleveland 90

Obviously, I couldn't see every dumb play, but I did agree with Cavs coach Byron Scott after this loss. It did look as if the Cavaliers matched the Jazz somewhat handily throughout, but when the Cleveland offense made a pointless drive or took a silly long-range shot, it felt as if its poor play on one end was matched, in the opposite direction both literally and figuratively, on the other end. For every terrible move Cleveland tried, Utah seemed to take the rebound and (14 extra passes later) create an answer on the other end that was as great as the Cavs were terrible.

You had to like Cleveland's spark, though, as has been the case all season. The problem is the team's one-on-one play, and the individual defense. You can get away with winning games in this league with extended bouts of one-on-one play, but not with a rotation like Cleveland's. And while Deron Williams (17 and 10) didn't have a line for the ages, he still was the deciding factor.

Five three-pointers for Raja Bell, as well. Seven for Daniel Gibson, but he was also terrible defensively, so I waited a while to bring that up.

***

Atlanta 91, Orlando 81

Credit Hawks coach Larry Drew. He had his team ready to steal a win, and the Hawks rarely let up in this conquest. It seems a bit daft to act as if Atlanta would have no chance against the Magic otherwise, they've done well to compete against Orlando in the regular season, but Drew's team took advantage of the alternate bouts of uneasiness and aggressiveness from the Magic, and Orlando just didn't have the cohesion to mount any sort of comeback late.

It was competitive, for a spell, but Atlanta took what was a close game and pushed it toward a 16-point advantage in seeming seconds in the third quarter by just grabbing what rang long off the glass and running to a lay-in on the other end. Orlando stayed in the game by making 27 free throws, but 35 percent shooting in this day and age of iPads and robots and toasters specifically designed just for bagels just isn't going to cut it. Also, Jason Richardson had no idea where to go, the screen and roll defense stunk, and Gilbert Arenas shot 2-11.

24 points, 11 rebounds, four assists and zero turnovers for Al Horford in the win.

***

Washington 108, Charlotte 75

Washington won with defense, which I don't think (in several respects) we've been able to say since the Reagan Administration, and Charlotte just looks like a team ready to go home at this point. It's almost as if the collaborative sulk sets in once Kwame Brown takes to the court, and extends rotation-wide. Topping that? The Bobcats just aren't that good. They're not that talented offensively, only Tyrus Thomas' great year seems to be keeping them out of the bottom of the NBA pile in that realm, and they just don't have a lot to go-to with Gerald Wallace out and when the opposition tries.

18 points, 11 rebounds, and six rebounds for Kirk Hinrich in the win. Charlotte turned it over on 30 percent of its possessions, which is the most that I've seen (for what that's worth) this year in games that I've written about.

***

Indiana 94, New Orleans 93

It was a good time for James Posey to hit 5-7 three-pointers, because he's been awful all year for the Pacers despite repeated shot attempts and all sorts of minutes. 32.8 percent shooting from long range entering the game, taking over five a game despite playing only 20 minutes per. And, because James Posey is insane, he's taken 135 of his 154 shot attempts from behind the arc this season, which has to be some sort of record. Steve Kerr didn't even try to pull that crap. And this is a guy who entered the league (I followed Xavier, back then) as an athletic slasher.

The Pacers made terrible decisions all night, offensively, but the team's standout defense (Jeff Foster was fantastic, in another start) kept them in it. The Pacers were also helped by the play of Hornets wing Trevor Ariza, who may have had the worst game of the NBA season in missing 12 of 13 shots and playing pretty poor defense on Danny Granger. Ariza just seems to get worse as the weeks move on, and I honestly can't justify giving him more than spot minutes at this point. Sadly for Hornets fans, Monty Williams doesn't really seem like a guy who looks at many box scores, if you know what I'm on about.

Roy Hibbert also had a terrible game for Indiana (1-10 shooting, just three rebounds in a little under 25 minutes), and Mike Dunleavy was 2-10 before his game-winning tip-in; and yet, despite all this negativity, this was a pretty compelling watch throughout. A needed win for Indiana. Hopefully a wake-up call for New Orleans.

***

Dallas 98, Miami 96

Dallas hardly played the perfect game, but despite Miami's recent winning streak, it's become pretty obvious that you don't have to play the perfect game to take down the Heat. You just usually have to keep things close, because Miami is still (barely, thanks to the upbringing of its stars and Erik Spoelstra's simplistic offense) the sum of its parts, and little else. Dallas even had Dirk Nowitzki clanging down the stretch, and it still pulled out the win because the Heat have absolutely no idea what to do in the clutch.

(Unless they're, I don't know, playing the Wizards.)

19 points from Jason Terry, all in the final quarter, as the Mavs just scored when they had to. LeBron James overcame early foul trouble (seriously Spoelstra? Playing a zone because James had two first half fouls? You know they get six fouls, right?) and turnover issues to manage a double-double, but the Heat offered no cohesion late, and Dallas seemed to know exactly where to go; even if Dirk was front-rimming jumpers.

26 and nine rebounds for Dirk, overall, and Shawn Marion's five offensive rebounds (13 total, off the bench) made a huge difference.

***

San Antonio 118, Phoenix 110

This game means absolutely nothing, the Suns only had eight players to use and were clearly dragging even in the first half, but there were signs that encouraged me.

Like the quick hits, around the basket, for Josh Childress and Hakim Warrick. Even without Steve Nash passing them the ball, these guys just seemed to score effortlessly mere seconds after taking in a loose ball or dish, and this is what we had in mind when the Suns grabbed them up last summer.

Channing Frye (1-10 shooting) is as about as reliable as a Yugo with a flooded carburetor, though, and the Suns still can't stop anyone (125 points per 100 possessions), so San Antonio had it pretty comfortable from halftime-on. Even when the Suns made a little charge behind those little lay-ins from Childress and Warrick.

20 and 15 for Tim Duncan, with six assists, two steals and three blocks.

***

Portland 106, Milwaukee 80

The Portland Trail Blazers lead the league in hating life, but for one night, the Milwaukee Bucks took over that weepy mantle, coming out with absolutely no fire in a game I didn't even flip toward in the second half (other, closer contests were on). With Brandon Jennings out for at least a month after left foot surgery (luckily, he jumps off of his right foot and shoots with neither hand; you read that correctly), Milwaukee was just distant and a step slow in the loss. And it let put together a 29-point (good) and 19-rebound (seriously?) night.

Also, if an injured right arm is the reason Andrew Bogut (five points, five rebounds) is playing so terribly, then you have to sit the man. There's no honor in this, Milwaukee.

***

Houston 121, Golden State 112

Don Nelson was in the house, and the symbolism was getting out of hand. The Warriors gave us perhaps the most entertaining stretch of basketball of any team last night, and yet they couldn't even stop the Houston freakin' Rockets from taking it to them down the stretch.

Because they both hit 3-4 three-pointers and got to the line, Kevin Martin and Monta Ellis combined for a ridiculous 74 points on 34 shots, but Martin had help -- Luis Scola was a jump hook machine down the stretch, everyone else seemed to take advantage of open shots after penetration, and Aaron Brooks was a steadying influence offensively (though Ellis has torched him twice this season).

Ekpe Udoh was fun. But we're going to wait a few weeks before fawning.

Whenever I think about the Ravens, it's hard for me to not also think about Edgar Allan Poe's masterpiece, hence my title for today's link post. Here's a strangely appropriate taste of Poe's "The Raven:"

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Let's hope the raven's response above was to a question asking if the NFL Baltimore Ravens will once again defeat our New Orleans Saints.

Today there is good news and not so good news. The good news concerns the weather forecast. The latest report calls for only a 10% chance of precipitation and temperatures just above freezing. That's an improvement from earlier in the week. The not so good news is that TE David Thomas and WR/KR/Gunner Courtney Roby have been ruled out and RB Chris Ivory is questionable after not practicing for the second consecutive day. Come on 11-3!

TWEETS:

JonVilma51 T-minus 2 days and counting...who dat!!

Official_Saints http://twitvid.com/8NUMZ - Watch @LanceMoore16's reaction when one kid asked him "Would you be mad if I bought a Colts football?"

jeffduncantp An Onion editorial by A. Hamster: This Squeaky Wheel And I Are Pulling An All-Nighter: http://onion.com/fte8kg

dmcallister26 Good Morning twit fam. Do your best to make today great

AdamSchefter Latest evidence that sometimes this league is impossible to figure: Joe Webb is starting this week, Donovan McNabb is not.

Official_Saints Payton announced RB Ivory & DL Hargrove are questionable for Sunday. WR Roby & TE Thomas are out.

DeionSanders You heard it from Prime 1st. McNaab to Arizona. Back to the crib and you will be wanted and needed and you inherit 2 good backs and rec.

ochocinco Just leaving the stadium and im seeing McNabb was benched for Rex Grossman, can someone please explain the logic behind this please?

dmcallister26 Thanks to all who came to the R&L Carriers luncheon for Ohio and Troy Universities. Good luck to both teams tom

Official_Saints Brees is just the 4th NFL QB in 4 decades to win the annual AP award, which dates to 1931. He received 48 of 176 votes.

Official_Saints Brees in ‘10: SB MVP, Madden Cover, GQ’s Patron Saint of the Yr, SI’s Sportsman of the Yr, AP’s Male Athlete of the Yr. #NotBad

Official_Saints Most important accomplishment, Brees welcomed son Bowen into the world in 2010!

NFLPlayerNews #NFL #SPORTS Drew Brees of New Orleans Saints named AP's Male Athlete of the Year: That reco... http://es.pn/hz1XGM http://bit.ly/6WGcRd

Official_Saints #Ravens game status: OUT - TE Heap (thigh), S Zbikowski (back); QUESTIONABLE - FB McClain (illness), RB McGahee (ill) (via @1WinningDrive )

LanceMoore16 RT @Tayzabeth: Finally @LanceMoore16 is getting the shirts with his name on em! Just got "Moore is More" and "Moore ... http://tmi.me/4iR1z

NOLAfans Ravens TE Heap ruled out against Saints... http://fan.ac/1g83 #NFL #NewOrleans

Official_Saints The Saints commemorative Super Bowl license plates raised $117,526.64 for Operation Homefront Louisiana!

Official_Saints Plate No. 22 earned the highest bid at $10,524.22 - even @T_Porter22 got in on the bidding but said he stopped at $2,500.

 

PRACTICE REPORTS:

2theadvocate.com | Saints | Ivory's status still up in the air — Baton Rouge, LA

New Orleans Saints injury report: Chris Ivory questionable; Courtney Roby and David Thomas out | NOLA.com
If Ivory can't play, Pierre Thomas, Reggie Bush and Julius Jones will all share the Saints' rushing load. Tight end David Thomas (knee) and kickoff returner Courtney Roby (head) were both ruled out. Payton revealed that Thomas had arthroscopic surgery on Tuesday to repair the lateral meniscus in his right knee. He is expected to miss two weeks, Payton said.

New Orleans Saints RB Chris Ivory gets injection to help heal stressed hamstring | NOLA.com
"I'm not really sure what it means, but I know what happens, the process," Ivory said. "They take blood out of your veins and they spin it in a machine and your red blood cells I believe drop to the bottom."

 

SAINTS @ RAVENS:

2theadvocate.com | Saints | MICKLES: Saints show their mettle on road — Baton Rouge, LA

Saints finding rhythm during six-game win streak | New Orleans News, Local News, Breaking News, Weather | wwltv.com | Eye on Black and Gold
Rhythm – some people have it, others don’t. The Saints didn’t early in the season on offense and now they do.

Henderson: Saints start fast while Ravens finish slow | New Orleans News, Local News, Breaking News, Weather | wwltv.com | Eye on Black and Gold
The Saints and Ravens are in similar situations. Each is a game behind the division leader. Each leads the wild card race in its conference.

View from the Other Side: Ravens could use win over reigning Super Bowl champs | New Orleans News, Local News, Breaking News, Weather | wwltv.com | Eye on Black and Gold
View from the Other Side is back and this week, we welcome Jamison Hensley.

Saints-Ravens Preview

Replay: New Orleans Saints Friday chat | NOLA.com
Talk to the T-P reporters about the Saints

Red-hot Saints worthy of Super-sized bet - BostonHerald.com
The streaking New Orleans Saints have rebounded from a lackluster start and, thanks to a six-game winning streak, appear headed back to the playoffs. But this season the road to the Super Bowl probably won’t go through the Superdome.

Ravens Insider: Ravens' unbalanced line strikes a chord with Saints' Payton - Baltimore Ravens news, schedule, analysis and opinion from Mike Preston, Jamison Hensley, Edward Lee and Ken Murray - baltimoresun.com

Safety has evolved into one of NFL's valued positions | NOLA.com
Playmakers such as Ed Reed, Darren Sharper changed perception

Two tough road games to decide New Orleans Saints' fate | NOLA.com
Sean Payton's team 13-2 in past 15 away from home

 

AROUND THE NFC STOUT:

Malcolm Jenkins emerging as elite safety - NFC South Blog - ESPN
Ever since he intercepted a pass and returned it 96 yards for a touchdown Sunday against St. Louis, New Orleans safety Malcolm Jenkins has been drawing even more comparisons to Darren Sharper.

A cheer for John Fox - NFC South Blog - ESPN
There has been a lot of talk in the Carolina media about how fans will respond to coach John Fox in what will be his final home game as coach of the Panthers. Newspapers, radio stations and websites are running polls and asking fans if they’ll boo or cheer Fox.

Final Word: NFC South - NFC South Blog - ESPN
The Domeless Saints. I’m looking at Sunday’s weather forecast for Baltimore and it doesn’t look as bad as it did a few days ago when snow was mentioned as a possibility. The latest forecast says there is only a 10-percent chance of precipitation and the temperature might be a little above freezing. This might be a good warm-up game for the Saints because they could have to go on the road to someplace like New York, Philadelphia or Chicago in the playoffs. They have that perception of being a "dome team." Might be a good time to start shedding that perception.

Film of the NFC South chat - NFC South Blog - ESPN
Question: "Which is the oldest and most traditional history team in the NFC South. Answer: Think the Saints would have to be the answer. Even in their bad years, they were loveable losers and fans have stood by them. Saints are a way of life in New Orleans, especially since Katrina. Are they the same thing the Packers are to Green Bay? Not quite. But they're not that far off.

 

LAGNIAPPE:

New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees named AP Male Athlete of the Year | NOLA.com
NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson comes in second

New Orleans Saints license plates raise $117,526.64 for Operation Homefront Louisiana | NOLA.com
Nos. 2 through 99 were auctioned off, with the highest bid going to No. 22

New Orleans Saints secondary is holding opponents to eight TD passes: First and 10 column | NOLA.com
Jeff Duncan's weekly team observations

 

TRANSCRIPTS:

Sean Payton's Friday Presser:

The New Orleans Saints wrapped up their work week for preparation of Sunday's game at Baltimore with a two hour practice at the club's indoor facility. Following the practice, Payton gave a final injury report, discussed the kickoff return rotation and also talked about the status of rookie RB Chris Ivory.

 Opening Statement:

"We’ll hit the injury report first: Tracy Porter (shoulder) was full and is probable; Zach Strief(knee) was full and probable; Malcolm Jenkins (rib) was full, probable; Jeremy Shockey(groin) was full, probable; Remi Ayodele(ankle) was limited and he’s probable; Jonathan Vilma(quad) was limited and probable; Jermon Bushrod (ankle) was limited and he’s probable; Chris Ivory (hamstring) did not practice and he’s questionable; Courtney Roby (head) did not practice, he’s out; David Thomas(knee) did not practice, he’s out; Anthony Hargrove (knee) was limited and he’s questionable."

Have you made a decision on kick returners with Roby being out?

 "You’re going to see Pierre (Thomas) and (Robert) Meachem as the primary guys that we’ll put in and go from there."

 Do you anticipate Chris Ivory being a game-time decision?

 "Yes, I do."

 What is David Thomas’ injury?

 "He has a lateral meniscus. We had a scope done on Tuesday. The estimate is two weeks so he’s certainly out for this game and where he’s at next week we’ll just have to see. The procedure was relatively small, but nonetheless it was a scope that was done. It was a lateral meniscus on the right knee."

 Does that mean that Tory Humphrey will be active for the game on Sunday?

 "Not necessarily but that’s a possibility. There will be one of two options with regard to that spot."

 The procedure that you mentioned with Chris Ivory yesterday, had you done that before?

 "It’s pretty common. I think most every team…it’s not unique or unusual. It’s very common. It’s used weekly to help speed up recovery."

 Did it do what you had hoped it would do?

 "Yes. He’s progressing and he’s feeling better. The question is if he’s ready to play a game and that’s why he’s listed as questionable. But it certainly helps speed the process up."

 Did he do as much as you thought he might do today?

 "Today he did not practice. Like I said, he’s feeling better and come game-time we’ll see where he’s at."

 Was that what you expected going into today?

 "Yes."

 How careful do you have to be with a hamstring injury like that?

 "It all gets back to the strength of the muscle and if you feel like it’s strong. You don’t want to hurry those things or you’ll have a setback. It’s that type of injury where a lot of it is just the strength come Sunday. That’s the main thing."

 Is it tougher to warm up a hamstring in cold weather and could that effect his availability?

 "That’s a good question. I don’t know if playing in colder weather hinders a player with a hamstring injury. The routine normally would be – and we’ve done this with a number of players – to see where he’s at that morning, see how he’s moving, see how the strength of the muscle is and how it’s firing and then make a decision based on that."

 So you will work him out before the game?

 "Yes."

 Ivory said that he had had this procedure done earlier this year. Is that common?

 "A number of guys have. We’ve done this with double-digit players throughout the season. I made light of it and I know it became a big story, but the point is that it’s something that’s done often with a hamstring."

 Why wouldn’t you have done it earlier in the week?

 "You do it when you feel like the recovery hasn’t been as quick. You’re not going to do it just randomly. You do it to help speed up the recovery when you feel like it needs to be done. It’s not like early in the week we said, ‘He’s got a hamstring, we’ll go right to this.’ It’s fairly minor."

 

Coach Payton Meets the Media on Thursday

 

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New Orleans Saints | All Audio

 

VIDEO:

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