Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. . .when an old Grandpa walked by. . . And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, ‘We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.’ The old man said, ‘There is no way you can guess it, you old [...]

Today I got out of the shower and tripped over a waffle iron. MLIA

Today in math class a guy in my class's phone was on and in his pocket. During class he accidently butt dialed his Grandma. The phone was on speaker. All of a sudden we all hear "HUNTER! HUNTER? TURN OFF YOUR PHONE! HUNTER?!" from his grandma. MLIA

Today, as I was looking at the ads on the side of the MLIA pages, I saw one website that I thought particularly applied to the average people of the world...it was titled "geek2geek" and was a dating service only for Harry Potter fans...Win. MLIA

Today, I saw an event on Facebook that read, "SEARCH PARTY FOR WALDO." Guess what I'm doing on April 20? MLIA

Today, I came across a college that has a Quidditch team and a "Zombie Readiness Task Force." Needless to say, I'm applying there.MLIA.

Today in my English class I convinced all of the other students in the room that waldo was hiding somewhere in the room. they then spent the entire class period searching for him. Where was Waldo? On my hand in sticker form. MLIA

Today, I read a post saying "Today, I saw a story about someone who just found out that a girl was the voice of Tommy in Rugrats. I would also like to point out that the same girl voiced Mumble in Happy Feet. Now you know. MLIA" I would just like to say that she also voiced Timmy Turner from Fairly Odd Parents. MLIA.

Today, my mom made a wrong turn while driving, so we had to make a "u-turn." We quickly got on a road that went up a small hill hoping to find a place to turn, and when we reached the top, we found a small house with a fence around it. Inside the fence were 3 llamas and a peacock. I screamed happily and my mom took pictures. MLIA.

Karen Butler maintains that after being heavily sedated she awoke speaking with a thick British accent. Can it be true?

He showed a clip from a local news station that equated the portrayal of homosexuality on 'Glee' to product placement. "You throw a soda in a movie and within a few seconds everybody in the theater is thirsty for that particular brand," the woman in the clip said.

London is unprepared for a terrorist attack on the 2012 Olympics because of a chronic shortage of air ambulance crews and other fast response teams, Lady Justice Hallett warned in her report into the July 7, 2005 terrorist attacks.

Joystick Division looks at gamers' reactions to the PSN hack and outage.

Here’s a headline you don’t see too often: “Rubber Chicken Turned NASA Mission Mascot Embarks on a Flight to Space.” Seriously, this is a true story.

New data from comScore for this past March has pointed to Apple nearly passing RIM in smartphone market share for the US. Shipping 18.65 million iPhones helped Apple gain half a point since December to hit 25.5 percent share in its home country.

Trash talking and sports go together like apples and pie. They are synonymous like chicken and dumplings. They mix beautifully like peanut butter and jelly!

The Long Island Serial Killer may one day take his place alongside the Gacys and the Bundys. Or he may be all but forgotten like these poor lunatics.

Looks like Skype is in play, again. Unlike last time, both the suitors have good business reasons. Between Google and Facebook, the social networking giant makes perfect sense. We actually suggested this deal six months ago. Question is: why does Skype want to sell?

Ever feel like you’re being ignored? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH? KITTEH?

kittehz r teh ignorerz, nawt teh ignoreez.

Clik teh foto 2 add a funneh capshun!

Stereotypes are your friends - but they won't pick you up at the airport.

If you think Obama was not born here you are a Birther. If you think Bush was responsible for 911 you are a Truther. There are Deathers, people who think Bin Laden is still alive. (He’s hanging with Elvis in Pontiac, Michigan. )

Now there is a new group for people who think any flak aimed at Barack is fueled by racism: Racers.

Here at Radioactive Liberty we have created a test for people to determine if they are a Racer.

Question #1: Are you Whoopi Goldberg?

If you answered yes to this question you are in fact a Racer.

Question #2: True or false: White conservatives secretly voted against Obama in 2008 and Democrats were able to counter the covert racism by illegally flooding the election results with extra votes.

If you answered true you are a Racer and also probably so far to the left you make Obama look like a Moderate. I hear Cuba is very nice this time of year. Make sure you bring toilet paper though.

Question #3: True or False: The news coverage of the Birther controversy was a distraction from the real issues.

If you answered true then you are not only a Racer but ignorant.

Two billion people watched the Royal Wedding. Millions of Americans woke up at the crack of dawn to see it. Every news channel and TLC were devoted to live wall-to-wall coverage.

But somehow Birther talk was the big distraction that week. Elle. Oh. Elle.

Question #4: True or False: You look at the Royal Wedding and wonder where the black people are.

If you answered true you are a Racer. Perhaps you should be asking liberal buddy Prince Charles why that is by the way. Maybe he’s too busy worrying about having less than 96 months to live to come up with racial quotas for the royal family. I don’t know.

If you answered “false” or “no” to all of these questions you are not a Racer. Congratulations.

———————————————————–

Do you have a quiz question to determine if someone is a Racer? Leave yours in the comments below.

***
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http://radioactiveliberty.com/ The Planet’s Best Political Humor 2011

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”The frog says, “This is [...] Related posts:

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A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why you [...] Related posts:

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There were three babies in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.

The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber. He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."

The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "So I can get some lights in here, its dark!"

The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's name do you want to be a boxer?"

He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.

Iman Crosson (aka Alphacat) did a clever and hilarious spoof of President Obama's speech about Osama bin Laden's death. It's lights out for the hide and seek champion. Take a look:



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Hear great jokes and tell some of your own at Comic Wonder. A joke's not a joke until it's told.

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Today, my doctor called and asked me when I could have my broken hand x-rayed again. I said the ER staff had told me it was a bad sprain over two weeks ago. I'm now in a full cast, and have to have my partially healed bones re-broken. There goes my summer. FML

Today, I was asked to leave my aunt's birthday party. Her reasoning was that my black nail-polish was "of the devil." Her own daughter was wearing push-up bra, low-cut camisole, and torn daisy-dukes. FML

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

A few different themes emerged over the course of the JSConf this week: that JavaScript is growing up, the need for a JavaScript core, the value of modules over frameworks and the continued debate over native apps vs. Web apps. But the most potent theme, hiding beneath the surface of many talks was made explicit [...]

Twitter and WordPress Today I will discuss some of the tools I have found to improve your use of Twitter in relation to your blog and a couple that have been helpful for using Twitter.First to integrate your Twitter feed on to your blog there are a couple items you can use. Tweet My Blog [...]

Joe Hewitt helped build Firefox, he built the wildly popular developers’ tool Firebug and then he single-handedly created one of the world’s most widely used iPhone apps: the Facebook app. Today he announced on his blog that he’s leaving Facebook and going independent. What’s he going to do? Build tools. “[T]ools for writers, designers, programmers, [...]

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Today, I was walking through downtown and I saw 2 kids dressed as ninjas walking down the street wheen suddenly another, older boy jumped out of a donut store dressed as a pirate. Not only did the two boys nail him with their foam ninja stars, but after his dramatic death scene, they casualy walked past, picked up their slars and walked on. MLIA.

Today, my friends and I stalked a gorgeous guy. it was a reallly hot day and i'd started saying "i'm sweating my balls off". so we walked past the cute guy and, without thinking, i went "god i am sweating my BALLS off". the look on his face -- priceless. MLIA

Today we were on the tram, going to the train station after school when we saw a boy with blond hair and a full Slytherin uniform. Me and my friends thought that was pretty epic, until someone had to ruin the moment by yelling "OMG! that guys dressed as Harry Potter...MLIA

Last week, my boyfriends mom and i made dinner plans for tonight. today, she called me and told me she had to cancel. why? there is a harry potter marathon on tv today and she has to watch it. i was going to call and cancel for the exact same reason. MLIA

Today while on Mystery Seeker my mission was to read 100 pages on MLIA in a row, than post it on MlIA. Mission completed, fellow MLIAer. OLIA.

Today, my sister (13) and my brother (10) were fighting over a toy gun on the couch. Nothing was strange about this, except for when my brother, in a last minute try to win, yelled out: "square! Square!" When we asked him it meant, he said that's what he presses on Call of Duty to attack. My brother's life? Yeah, it's pretty average.